1
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,302
(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)

2
00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:51,010
♪ ♪

3
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,304
(muffled clamoring)

4
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,435
NARRATOR:
<i>Treasure.</i>

5
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,229
♪ ♪

6
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:05,650
<i>Why is it always
so goddamn hard to find?</i>

7
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:10,822
<i>This is the story of
the treasure of Foggy Mountain,</i>

8
00:01:10,822 --> 00:01:14,450
<i>the priceless golden bust
of Marie Antoinette.</i>

9
00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,285
<i>It was stolen from Versailles</i>

10
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:19,622
<i>by French naval explorer
Jean Pierre Le Roche.</i>

11
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:24,502
<i>He fled to America and hid it
deep within the mountain.</i>

12
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:27,130
<i>In his final days,
he built a map,</i>

13
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,466
<i>a key leading to
this legendary treasure.</i>

14
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,637
<i>It was his dream
that the bravest,</i>

15
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,806
<i>most feared adventurers
in the world</i>

16
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:40,268
<i>would find it
and solve its puzzle.</i>

17
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,813
(all yelling excitedly)

18
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,398
<i>That is not what happened.</i>

19
00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:47,442
- ♪ Dance ♪
- ♪ Under the spotlight ♪

20
00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:49,736
♪ Neither Black nor white ♪

21
00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:51,571
♪ It doesn't matter ♪

22
00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:55,658
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪

23
00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,703
♪ The way you move
is a mystery ♪

24
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,747
(exhales sharply)

25
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:04,500
♪ Do the dance ♪

26
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,836
♪ You're always there
for music and me... ♪

27
00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,713
Morning, my boys.

28
00:02:08,713 --> 00:02:10,506
Morning, brother.

29
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,884
Breakfast time.
You know I'm on the eggs.

30
00:02:12,884 --> 00:02:14,093
Heads up, Chef J.

31
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:15,928
(song stops)

32
00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:18,264
(all groaning)

33
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:21,267
Guess we're just having...
leftover pad Thai!

34
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:23,478
- Let's go! -Oh!
- (song resumes)

35
00:02:23,478 --> 00:02:26,773
{\an8}♪ You're always there
for music and me... ♪

36
00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:27,899
Time to go to work.

37
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,735
- Let's do it.
- Whoo!

38
00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:33,446
- (backfire, engine sputtering)
- (song stops)

39
00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:35,323
- Dude.
- Oh, what happened?

40
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,700
- The Sube's busted.
- Come on, man.

41
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,368
Dang it.

42
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,579
(song resumes):
♪ Do the D-A-N-C-E ♪

43
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,623
♪ One, two,
three, four, fight ♪

44
00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:47,377
♪ Stick to the B-E-A-T,
get ready to ignite ♪

45
00:02:47,377 --> 00:02:48,920
♪ Do the dance ♪

46
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,505
♪ Under the spotlight ♪

47
00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:52,298
- ♪ Neither Black nor white... ♪
- (song stops)

48
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:55,051
Pussies. -The fuck
did you just say to us?

49
00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:57,136
You heard me, Slender Man.

50
00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,055
Buy us some beer,
or we'll beat your ass.

51
00:02:59,055 --> 00:03:00,390
- (scoffs) Wow.
- (laughing)

52
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:02,392
All right, bro-bro.

53
00:03:02,392 --> 00:03:04,060
You asked for it.

54
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,937
- Thanks, boys.
- (song resumes)

55
00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:08,564
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪

56
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,316
♪ Stick to the B-E-A-T ♪

57
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,318
♪ Do the dance, do the dance ♪

58
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,362
♪ You were such a P.Y.T... ♪

59
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,696
Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin,

60
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,240
Martin, Martin, Martin,
Martin, Martin!

61
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,158
- (Martin yells, grunts)
- (song stops)

62
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:21,077
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

63
00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:22,078
Mart?

64
00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:24,330
Your boy's okay.

65
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,040
- Let's go!
- (song resumes)

66
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,668
♪ Whatever happens ♪

67
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,837
- ♪ Do the dance, do the... ♪
- (song stops)

68
00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:32,547
Where the fuck were you?

69
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,216
You're three hours late!

70
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,592
Dad, you don't understand.

71
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,803
The Subes was busted,
so we had to shred.

72
00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:40,263
You had to shred?

73
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:43,182
Wait a minute.
Why are your lips red?

74
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,267
Were you eating a snow cone?

75
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,643
That was a really good guess.

76
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,395
The police are here,
and they're saying

77
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,272
that you bought alcohol
for minors.

78
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,982
- BEN: Oh, no.
- JOHN and MARTIN: Oh.

79
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,400
Yeah, that's a crime.

80
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,360
In Europe,
the drinking age is like ten.

81
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,737
They could have been European.

82
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,447
What made you think
they were European?

83
00:03:57,447 --> 00:03:58,906
They had a certain
je ne sais quoi. -JOHN: Yeah.

84
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,117
I think one of them was eating
pain au chocolat.

85
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:02,618
Ben, I'm gonna retire soon.

86
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,954
I'm not always gonna be here
to babysit you.

87
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:06,456
What? You know what, no.

88
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:08,207
Can I stop this for a second?

89
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:10,043
If you ever, ever...

90
00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:12,170
Johnny. -...talk to
my friends like that...

91
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:13,588
- John!
- Yeah.

92
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:15,381
Be someplace else right now,
or I'll kill you.

93
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:16,799
Got it. See you, brother.

94
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,801
Uh, so I don't mean to be rude,
but, like,

95
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,971
lunch is usually now,
so could we...

96
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,723
I'll go. Thank you, sir.

97
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:25,600
Skates are cool, though, right?

98
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,478
Goddamn it,
would you stand still!

99
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:30,980
Would it kill you to be
just a little more like Dylan?

100
00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,482
I mean, look at that.

101
00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:35,151
(chuckling):
God, the guy's a rock star.

102
00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:38,071
A rock star? He's, like, the
most normal guy in the world.

103
00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:39,447
FARLEY:
He's the best.

104
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,157
BEN: He looks like
he's in the eighth grade.

105
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:42,408
- (sneezes)
- FARLEY: He's so cool.

106
00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:44,077
Try to pick up
on what Dylan has.

107
00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:45,745
Yeah.

108
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,038
I love you.

109
00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:50,666
Yeah. Love you, too.

110
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,543
Did you just look around
to see if anyone was...

111
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,795
- Did not.
- You did. I just saw...

112
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,338
- You went both shoulders.
- Never did.

113
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,506
- Get to work, okay?
- All right.

114
00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,007
- Good talk.
- Cool.

115
00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:00,760
Okay, let's... less touching.

116
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,513
- And take off the skates!
- See you. Sorry.

117
00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:05,640
What a morning, man.
That was amazing.

118
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,683
- I feel like Apollo Ohno.
- What are you talking about?

119
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,936
- We just got chewed out.
- Whatever.

120
00:05:09,936 --> 00:05:12,188
Sometimes it does
feel like we're getting

121
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:14,273
- a little too old for this.
- That's what I'm saying, man.

122
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,858
We're in our 20s, you guys.

123
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,693
This is our time to have fun,
hang out with our friends.

124
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,529
We're 26, man. We're not 21.

125
00:05:19,529 --> 00:05:20,863
- There's a big difference.
- Oh, my God.

126
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,657
Next thing I know,
you're gonna, like,

127
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:24,826
go to bed at 10:00 p.m.
and, like, pay your taxes.

128
00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:26,619
- Do you not pay taxes?
- What are you talking about?

129
00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:27,912
You don't have to pay taxes

130
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,831
- under a certain bracket.
- Yeah, you do.

131
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,582
- Yes, you do. -No, you don't.
- We have to pay... You sh...

132
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,042
- We all have to pay.
- You're gonna get audited.

133
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,627
I dare the IRS to come
to my house. -They will.

134
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:36,045
- They'll audit you.
- They will audit you.

135
00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,380
- What are you talking about?
- Kick their ass.

136
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,297
FARLEY:
Hey! What are you doing?

137
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,632
Turtles can't eat bread!

138
00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:41,050
- Fuck.
- Scoop the bread out.

139
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,468
You go for the turtles.
I'll get the bread.

140
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,720
- Just take the bread out.
- Help.

141
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,762
We don't need to take
the turtles out.

142
00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:50,810
♪ ♪

143
00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:54,272
(air rushing)

144
00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,606
Yo, Mart.

145
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,275
You Christian now?

146
00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,485
Oh, yeah.
Well, my girlfriend is.

147
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:00,695
We're really in love.

148
00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:01,946
Whenever I'm around her,
I'm like,

149
00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:04,240
"I don't know what I'd do
if you left me."

150
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,450
I'm sorry,
the wind is a little loud.

151
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:06,909
Can you say that again?

152
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,537
I'm just so scared
she's gonna leave me.

153
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:10,997
So the sex is good?

154
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:13,833
It's great. She always just
lets me lie there.

155
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,002
I'm going deep. I'm going
deep. -Go long. Go long.

156
00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:18,087
I'm going deep. Hey!

157
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,298
What are you guys doing?

158
00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:21,424
Geez, really?

159
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,925
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, goodness.

160
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,635
(laughs)
It's on me. Just take it.

161
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:25,970
DYLAN:
No, I couldn't.

162
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,472
Hey, John?

163
00:06:27,472 --> 00:06:29,265
Will you help us reach this?

164
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:31,559
Oh, um, maybe just ask him
to jump.

165
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,395
This is a three-in-one
North American birdcall.

166
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,772
Just give it a nice blow
in the...

167
00:06:35,772 --> 00:06:37,273
in the hole here,
and it's, uh...

168
00:06:37,273 --> 00:06:38,941
(loud, shrill honk)

169
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,568
- Oh!
- What?

170
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,528
That wasn't right.

171
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,155
I stay still!

172
00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,782
Oh, so you're completely still?

173
00:06:45,782 --> 00:06:48,409
I get hard. She slips it in.

174
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,786
End of my job.

175
00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,788
Oh, so you're kind of
pumping it from below?

176
00:06:51,788 --> 00:06:54,624
No, I ain't moving a muscle, sister.

177
00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:58,753
She barely has to touch me,
and I make a huge mess.

178
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,797
Let me try one more time.
Yeah, no worries. -Sure.

179
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:03,549
- (loud, shrill honk)
- (shoppers gasping, groaning)

180
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:05,009
- MAN: You suck, Ben.
- WOMAN: Wow.

181
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,344
Relax, Mike.

182
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,970
BEN:
<i>Night, y'all. Good day's work.</i>

183
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,847
- Shut up. -WOMAN: No.
- Let's get it again tomorrow.

184
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,600
Keep working hard. All right.

185
00:07:17,355 --> 00:07:18,606
Are y'all ready?

186
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,149
I brought the Trulys.

187
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,442
I'm sorry, dude.

188
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:22,819
I got a big meeting
with my dad.

189
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,695
But it's Fly Day Friday.
We do this every week.

190
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,239
We get trashed and fly
in the wingsuit machine.

191
00:07:26,239 --> 00:07:27,698
I know. I'm sorry.

192
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,158
It's just, I'm doing
a big presentation for him

193
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:31,828
- on why I should run the store.
- Okay. Mart?

194
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,579
I would, but Amy and I
got to get ready

195
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:34,914
for the big day tomorrow.

196
00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:37,333
- The adult baptism.
- MARTIN: Yes.

197
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,335
Getting wet with
the good Lord's water.

198
00:07:39,335 --> 00:07:41,045
- Okay.
- It's just a little weird

199
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:43,131
- to get baptized as an adult.
- Thank you.

200
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:45,883
Unless you're, like, getting
out of jail or getting sober.

201
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,510
All right, well,
more Trulys for me.

202
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,803
Don't drink all of them.

203
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:50,930
- Okay, I won't. I will.
- Hell yeah.

204
00:07:50,930 --> 00:07:52,432
- Peace, dudes.
- Have a good night.

205
00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:53,307
- See you, man.
- I'll see you at home.

206
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,726
Later.

207
00:07:58,855 --> 00:08:00,898
♪ ♪

208
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:08,281
NARRATOR:
<i>John was in pain.</i>

209
00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:11,200
<i>And not just because
he was seven Trulys deep,</i>

210
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,995
<i>wing-suiting by himself
on a Friday night.</i>

211
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:17,165
<i>The real source of John's pain
went all the way back</i>

212
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:21,461
<i>to the 2007 Pinewood
middle school talent show.</i>

213
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,671
("Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by
Soulja Boy Tell'em playing)

214
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,339
(cheering and applause)

215
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:29,302
<i>It was fifth grade, before John
even knew Ben and Martin.</i>

216
00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,095
I love you, Johnny Flames!

217
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:34,724
NARRATOR: <i>He was nice with the
magic tricks, and he knew it.</i>

218
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:38,269
<i>His big closer was
the Purple Flame Quick Change.</i>

219
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:40,271
Ooh!

220
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:41,522
NARRATOR:
<i>He just had to</i>

221
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,441
<i>- jump through fire...</i>
- (gasps)

222
00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:46,903
<i>...change behind a mirror
and reappear in a new outfit.</i>

223
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:49,113
(cheering)

224
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:51,240
<i>The only problem was...</i>

225
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,909
His penis is out!

226
00:08:52,909 --> 00:08:55,036
♪ ♪

227
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,959
- (screaming)
- NARRATOR: <i>Yes.</i>

228
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,754
<i>The whole school
saw John's penis,</i>

229
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:06,506
<i>and that was the worst thing</i>

230
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:08,591
<i>- that had ever happened to him.</i>
- Stop!

231
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,051
NARRATOR:
<i>Until five seconds later.</i>

232
00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:11,302
Now it's on fire!

233
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,642
(screaming)

234
00:09:17,642 --> 00:09:18,976
(audience screaming)

235
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,562
NARRATOR:
<i>And that was the worst thing</i>

236
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,356
<i>that had ever happened to him.</i>

237
00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:24,982
{\an8}<i>Until five seconds later.</i>

238
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,485
Mr. Richards is touching
John's penis!

239
00:09:28,486 --> 00:09:30,905
NARRATOR: <i>The most beloved
teacher in school</i>

240
00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:33,408
<i>would lose
his teaching license.</i>

241
00:09:33,408 --> 00:09:35,410
(audience screaming)

242
00:09:35,410 --> 00:09:38,162
♪ ♪

243
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:40,957
<i>It was the worst day
of John's life.</i>

244
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:43,167
Nice going, Johnny Flames.

245
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,753
NARRATOR: <i>Until the greatest
thing ever happened.</i>

246
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:48,715
Hey, man.
I thought your magic was great.

247
00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:51,008
And also,
not a bad-looking penis.

248
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,594
Our moms are taking us
to Foggy Mountain this weekend.

249
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,138
Want to come?

250
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:59,851
("A.M. AM" by Damien Jurado
playing)

251
00:10:01,853 --> 00:10:05,815
♪ Stuck here in a life
that repeats ♪

252
00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:09,652
♪ Living in the now
and between ♪

253
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:12,321
♪ Pages from a magazine ♪

254
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,990
What is that?

255
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:17,410
♪ Instruction manuals
for your dreams... ♪

256
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:18,995
It's a compass!

257
00:10:18,995 --> 00:10:21,164
(laughter, excited yelling)

258
00:10:21,164 --> 00:10:24,917
NARRATOR: <i>Their friendship
meant everything to John.</i>

259
00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,670
<i>But lately, he had the feeling
that Ben and Martin</i>

260
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:30,173
<i>were moving on without him.</i>

261
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:32,842
AMY:
<i>Martin, I'm so excited.</i>

262
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:36,137
I think it's gonna be
the perfect baptism outfit.

263
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:38,431
(shoes squeaking)

264
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,349
I love it.

265
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:41,684
- Really?
- Totally.

266
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,853
I feel like I'm rolling up
to the Met Gala.

267
00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:45,521
(chuckles)
Oh, yeah. Beep, beep.

268
00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:48,024
Yeah, and the theme is, like,
the '95 NBA Draft.

269
00:10:48,024 --> 00:10:51,027
Oh. Baby, I feel like
this could be your new look.

270
00:10:51,027 --> 00:10:52,361
- Yeah?
- And then, like,

271
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,696
if you grow your hair out
a little bit.

272
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,406
Looking like Jesus?

273
00:10:55,406 --> 00:10:56,866
That suit's a family heirloom.

274
00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:59,077
Yeah, my grandfather
was buried in that suit.

275
00:10:59,077 --> 00:11:01,245
What? -Baby,
come look at this listing.

276
00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,790
I think I found
the house for us.

277
00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:05,374
MARTIN:
Oh, wow.

278
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,584
This is great.

279
00:11:06,584 --> 00:11:08,503
AMY:
Right? Look at that kitchen.

280
00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:12,298
So, should we email
the Realtor?

281
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:13,716
Yeah.

282
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:17,053
But doesn't it just
kind of look like shit?

283
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:18,763
What?

284
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,098
You know what,
I think I actually remember

285
00:11:20,098 --> 00:11:21,391
seeing an even better place.

286
00:11:21,391 --> 00:11:23,142
- Oh, okay.
- Um...

287
00:11:23,142 --> 00:11:24,560
Yeah, just...

288
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,396
Uh... oh, this one.

289
00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:27,939
This place is cute, right?

290
00:11:27,939 --> 00:11:29,649
This place is kind of weird.

291
00:11:29,649 --> 00:11:32,276
(chuckles) I mean, like,
who is that woman?

292
00:11:33,778 --> 00:11:35,029
Oh, my God.

293
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:36,823
Is she, like,
a ghost or something?

294
00:11:36,823 --> 00:11:38,282
MARTIN:
I don't know.

295
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:40,118
I mean, she's eating a cookie
over the garbage.

296
00:11:40,118 --> 00:11:41,869
Why is she in
more than one picture?

297
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,913
Well, let's just try
to look past that.

298
00:11:43,913 --> 00:11:46,958
- Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, oh!
- Turn it off! Turn it off!

299
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:48,876
- (whimpering)
- (sighing)

300
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,086
Martin, why would you
think this house

301
00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:51,421
is cuter than the other one?

302
00:11:51,421 --> 00:11:53,172
I don't know.
I was, like, freaking out.

303
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,717
Okay, so you're freaking out
about the baptism stuff.

304
00:11:55,717 --> 00:11:57,176
You can be honest with me, okay?

305
00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:59,762
I mean, we don't have to do
any of this.

306
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:03,057
No. Amy, I'm sitting here
in this suit,

307
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:06,519
sweating so much
in your hot-ass apartment.

308
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,812
Yeah.

309
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:09,605
It's exactly where
I want to be.

310
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:11,149
(sighs)

311
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:14,694
Dad, let's face it.
You'll be dead soon.

312
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:15,987
I'm 55.

313
00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:17,321
And unless you leave the store

314
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,532
in capable hands,
it'll die with you.

315
00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:21,492
(somber bagpipe music playing)

316
00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:24,412
For years, Trout Plus has been
a leader in the outdoors.

317
00:12:24,412 --> 00:12:27,290
- But what if we thought bigger?
- (bagpipe music stops)

318
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:31,127
What if we brought
the outdoors indoors?

319
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:33,546
Over 50% of the Earth is inside.

320
00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:34,797
Did you know that?

321
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,215
- I...
- Without realizing it,

322
00:12:36,215 --> 00:12:38,760
we've been cutting
our own sales in half.

323
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,763
Let's bust it open, Dad,
nasty-style.

324
00:12:41,763 --> 00:12:43,890
Trout Plus Everything.

325
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,725
Oh, so we could just sell anything.

326
00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:46,893
- Anything.
- That's great.

327
00:12:46,893 --> 00:12:48,728
- Monocles.
- Absolutely.

328
00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:50,313
- Wizards' hats.
- Why not?

329
00:12:50,313 --> 00:12:52,482
A bidet that shoots gravy
at your ass.

330
00:12:52,482 --> 00:12:53,733
So you don't like the idea?

331
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,318
Surely, this is not
all you have.

332
00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:57,278
Okay, I've been working
on something else.

333
00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:58,946
I'll pitch it to you,
but it's not fully developed.

334
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,990
I'm ready.
I can handle it, I think.

335
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:04,494
Okay. Hair Salon for Boys.

336
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:06,579
{\an8}FARLEY:
Oh. (laughs)

337
00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:07,830
This is fantastic.

338
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,207
- You like it?
- Of course.

339
00:13:09,207 --> 00:13:10,708
It's just, like, a social place

340
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,251
for young boys
to come and hang out

341
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:13,961
like older ladies do
at the salon.

342
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,756
Every boy's dream is to be
an older woman.

343
00:13:16,756 --> 00:13:18,841
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yes!

344
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,176
- (laughs)
- Whoo!

345
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,845
Never show this idea to anyone!

346
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:25,264
Ever!

347
00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:27,433
Son, pop a squat.

348
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,185
Dad.

349
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:30,812
You're the last person on Earth

350
00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:32,271
that I would let
run this store.

351
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,148
I don't know why you want this.

352
00:13:34,148 --> 00:13:36,359
You don't like the outdoors.

353
00:13:36,359 --> 00:13:37,777
Remember Boy Scouts?

354
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:40,696
The only badge you got was in
diversity and inclusion.

355
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:41,864
It's really important.

356
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,366
Dying of exposure in the woods?

357
00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:44,867
(mocking tone):
"Don't worry, I've got

358
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,702
my diversity
and inclusion badge."

359
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:49,330
Well, what if you're dying
from exposure to hatred?

360
00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:51,290
Do you know that
every day of my life,

361
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,042
I've killed a living thing?

362
00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:54,544
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

363
00:13:54,544 --> 00:13:56,796
I punched a field mouse
three weeks ago.

364
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:58,339
I would give a bobcat
the finger,

365
00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,591
- if that's something, I mean...
- They don't care.

366
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,885
Dad, I just need a little
more time to prove myself.

367
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,470
More time? You're 26.

368
00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:06,931
Kids today prove themselves
when they're like 12.

369
00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:08,599
Have you seen <i>Stranger Things?</i>

370
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:11,227
The kids on that show
are insanely talented.

371
00:14:11,227 --> 00:14:13,062
What are you talking about?

372
00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:15,022
I think you're just seeing
the glass as not having

373
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,816
enough water in it,
as opposed to having

374
00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:18,276
more than an adequate
amount of water.

375
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:19,819
That's not how the saying goes.

376
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:22,613
Glass half full
versus glass half empty.

377
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,907
Yeah, well, your generation
loves to shorten everything

378
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,076
till it makes no fucking sense.

379
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:28,995
As your father--

380
00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:32,039
and I say this
with all the warmth I can--

381
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:35,585
I only care about two things:
money and power.

382
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,462
And you have neither one.

383
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:40,840
JOHN: <i>All right, boys,
finally, poker night.</i>

384
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,050
Place your bets.

385
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,760
BOY:
Can we play something else?

386
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,178
I'm bored.

387
00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:46,596
BOY 2: Hey, John,
where are your roommates at?

388
00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:48,431
JOHN: I don't know, like,
busy again. It sucks.

389
00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:51,726
I just got to fucking remind
them that we're a dream team.

390
00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:53,102
Ben, John, Mart.

391
00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:55,229
That's, like,
what it's always been.

392
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,856
BOY 2: So, what do you want
from your friends?

393
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:59,150
JOHN: I don't know, hang out
forever, travel the world,

394
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,902
go somewhere exotic like London.

395
00:15:00,902 --> 00:15:02,528
BOY 1:
You sound kind of sad.

396
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,197
I sound kind of sad? Wow.

397
00:15:04,197 --> 00:15:06,699
Dude! -Shut up, Jason.
I'll email your mom.

398
00:15:06,699 --> 00:15:08,076
JASON:
Fuck you, fat boy!

399
00:15:08,076 --> 00:15:09,118
You're playing poker
with 11-year-olds.

400
00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:11,621
- Fuck you, Jason!
- Asshole!

401
00:15:11,621 --> 00:15:12,789
BOY 2:
You can't just...

402
00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:14,207
JASON:
Hey, I'll kick your ass.

403
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,417
- Hey! Ow! Oh!
- Do you want a piece of me?

404
00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:18,169
- Wow, okay.
- JASON: Hey! Come on!

405
00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,296
How do you like that?
No more game. -BOY 2: Come on!

406
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:26,511
Dude, what is wrong
with my algorithm?

407
00:15:27,345 --> 00:15:30,056
Welcome to
<i>Hot History Part 17:</i>

408
00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:32,475
<i>The Treasure of Foggy Mountain.</i>

409
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,811
Remember this guy,
Deetch Nordwind,

410
00:15:34,811 --> 00:15:36,437
the guy who went missing?

411
00:15:36,437 --> 00:15:39,273
He was looking for treasure:
the bust of Marie Antoinette.

412
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,067
Somebody has the key out there

413
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,111
to finding this treasure,
sitting in someone's room,

414
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:45,279
and they have no idea
they have the key

415
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:48,825
to something worth
over $100 million.

416
00:15:48,825 --> 00:15:50,201
If it's you, go!

417
00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:51,744
Find this treasure.
It's over...

418
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:52,787
(phone clicks)

419
00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:54,163
♪ Work, work, work ♪

420
00:15:54,163 --> 00:15:56,207
- ♪ Let's work, work, work... ♪
- Whoa.

421
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,835
(somber organ music playing)

422
00:15:58,835 --> 00:16:00,837
(organ music continues playing)

423
00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:03,673
Whoo! Yay, baby! You got this.

424
00:16:03,673 --> 00:16:05,133
You're doing so good.

425
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:06,467
Go, Mart. (chuckles)

426
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,052
Thank you guys for coming,
by the way.

427
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,679
I know it means a lot to him
that you're here.

428
00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:11,264
- Amy, of course.
- Aw.

429
00:16:11,264 --> 00:16:13,099
What the fuck is her deal, man?

430
00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:14,559
Shut up.
She's right next to us.

431
00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,144
- (Amy squeals, giggles)
- What is her problem?

432
00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:17,520
She's fine, man. She's...

433
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,188
She's honestly really nice.
It's just...

434
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,065
I don't know why
Martin is so... -Afraid?

435
00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,650
He's petrified right now.

436
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,485
BEN: Looks like he's being
held at gunpoint. -I know.

437
00:16:24,485 --> 00:16:26,028
And what the fuck is going on
with that suit?

438
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,613
I don't know, man.

439
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,615
JOHN: It's huge, dude.
He looks like the fucking sun.

440
00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:31,409
He looks like a pimp
in a high school play.

441
00:16:31,409 --> 00:16:33,244
PRIEST:
I baptize thee.

442
00:16:33,244 --> 00:16:38,124
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost,

443
00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:40,168
you are now baptized.

444
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:42,128
Whoo! (giggles)

445
00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:43,463
- That was so good.
- (applause)

446
00:16:43,463 --> 00:16:44,964
(piano playing
"Be Thou My Vision")

447
00:16:44,964 --> 00:16:47,216
MARTIN:
♪ My own heart ♪

448
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:51,220
♪ Whatever befall ♪

449
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:55,850
♪ Still be my vision ♪

450
00:16:55,850 --> 00:17:00,021
♪ O Ruler of all. ♪

451
00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:01,355
(applause)

452
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,900
- You get any pigs in a blanket?
- No.

453
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:07,278
More of a fan
of the blanket myself.

454
00:17:08,112 --> 00:17:09,572
- Are you kidding me, man?
- What?

455
00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:11,115
You just sucked
the bread off that?

456
00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:12,825
I said I'm more of a fan
of the blanket.

457
00:17:12,825 --> 00:17:14,911
I heard what you said, man.
It's disgusting. -The bread.

458
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:18,372
In the words of John Lennon,
"All you need is love."

459
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:21,084
Too bad he's in hell
for doing drugs.

460
00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:23,252
- (cell phone vibrating)
- Oh, my dad's calling.

461
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:25,254
- I got to take this.
- No, dude, don't leave me.

462
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,631
- Yeah, I-I'll be right back.
- Ben... Ben, please.

463
00:17:26,631 --> 00:17:28,257
MARTIN: I was a sinner,
but now I'm saved,

464
00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,176
and it's all thanks to Amy.

465
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:31,928
- AMY: Aw. (giggles)
- (applause)

466
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:33,763
I can't... I can't take credit.

467
00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:36,641
Hmm. You know, thank God

468
00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:39,310
Amy finally found
a good man like Martin.

469
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,646
Martin is a-a good boy now,

470
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:44,190
but you should've seen him
back in the day.

471
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,608
He was so awesome.

472
00:17:45,608 --> 00:17:46,818
What did he do?

473
00:17:46,818 --> 00:17:48,277
Like, work at a soup kitchen?

474
00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:49,946
No, he would get, like,
blackout drunk

475
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:51,572
and become a character.

476
00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:55,952
It's hard to explain.
I-I can show you a video.

477
00:17:55,952 --> 00:17:57,620
<i>This is Lawrence.</i>

478
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,497
<i>He was so much more
than just a voice</i>

479
00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,707
<i>Martin would do
when he was drunk.</i>

480
00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,167
<i>He was fearless.</i>

481
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:05,336
<i>Like when the dean tried
to shut down our party,</i>

482
00:18:05,336 --> 00:18:07,672
<i>- Lawrence beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)</i>

483
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:09,382
<i>And when my professor
tried to fail me,</i>

484
00:18:09,382 --> 00:18:11,342
<i>- Lawrence beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)</i>

485
00:18:11,342 --> 00:18:14,887
<i>And when a lunch lady
banned him from the cafeteria,</i>

486
00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:17,974
<i>Lawrence dated her
for three beautiful months,</i>

487
00:18:17,974 --> 00:18:19,475
<i>until her husband found out.</i>

488
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:21,811
<i>- And then he beat his ass.
- (glass breaking)</i>

489
00:18:21,811 --> 00:18:23,563
<i>And when Martin met Amy,</i>

490
00:18:23,563 --> 00:18:26,816
he vowed to never
become Lawrence again.

491
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:29,110
- So, that's that.
- Oh.

492
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:30,570
Thank God people change.

493
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:35,032
You know, life is full
of mountains and valleys.

494
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,659
MALE VOICE: <i>Valleys.</i>-BEN:
That's not what I'm saying.

495
00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:37,869
Dad, I'm sorry.

496
00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:40,371
It's so important to have

497
00:18:40,371 --> 00:18:41,748
- that moral compass.
- MALE VOICE: <i>Compass.</i>

498
00:18:41,748 --> 00:18:43,332
Not to mention the fact

499
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,334
- that he's going to treasure
- MALE VOICE: <i>Treasure.</i>

500
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:46,753
- all of the friends
- MALE VOICE: <i>Friends.</i>

501
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:48,254
that he makes here.

502
00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:56,512
Mountain, compass,
treasure, friends.

503
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:59,348
<i>Mountain,
compass, treasure, friends.</i>

504
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:02,518
<i>Mountain, compass,
treasure, friends.</i>

505
00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:04,187
<i>Mountain,
compass, compass, friends,</i>

506
00:19:04,187 --> 00:19:05,521
<i>friends, treasure,
treasure, friends.</i>

507
00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:07,565
<i>Mountain, compass, compass...</i>

508
00:19:07,565 --> 00:19:09,317
I got to go!

509
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:11,402
(people gasping, murmuring)

510
00:19:11,402 --> 00:19:13,613
Get your fucking hands off me!

511
00:19:13,613 --> 00:19:16,282
Sorry. Sorry.

512
00:19:17,283 --> 00:19:19,577
(breathing heavily)

513
00:19:23,706 --> 00:19:25,208
Dude, he ruined
the baptism after-party.

514
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,542
He didn't ruin it, man.

515
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,544
- It was still cool.
- No, he's losing it.

516
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:31,214
He's always alone in the house
doing the saddest shit.

517
00:19:31,214 --> 00:19:33,216
- It's depressing.
- Yeah, I-I'm with you, man.

518
00:19:33,216 --> 00:19:35,718
I'm... I think, though, he's
just going through something,

519
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:37,553
but in general,
he's totally fine.

520
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:38,888
Oh, hello.

521
00:19:38,888 --> 00:19:41,474
Oh, man. -I was just taking
an evening bath.

522
00:19:41,474 --> 00:19:43,393
- With your computer?
- Yes.

523
00:19:43,393 --> 00:19:45,228
Doing research.

524
00:19:45,228 --> 00:19:47,271
While I was at
the baptism reception today,

525
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,774
I came upon
an enlightening discovery.

526
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:51,818
- Why are you talking like that?
- Guys, I think

527
00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,486
I know where the treasure
of Foggy Mountain is,

528
00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:55,488
and I think
we should go get it.

529
00:19:55,488 --> 00:19:57,240
The treasure of Foggy Mountain?

530
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,658
Like from when we were kids?

531
00:19:58,658 --> 00:20:02,286
It all started when I saw
a TikTok about this guy.

532
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,705
Deetch Nordwind.

533
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,040
Whoa.

534
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:10,044
You have like 40 tabs open?
What are you doing, man?

535
00:20:10,044 --> 00:20:12,004
JOHN: Well, that's how much
research I've been doing.

536
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:14,632
Well, a lot of these are clips
from <i>Jennifer's Body.</i>

537
00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:16,759
- Is that part of the research?
- Um...

538
00:20:16,759 --> 00:20:18,636
You could just rent the movie
at that point. -Yeah.

539
00:20:18,636 --> 00:20:20,930
Enough, please. Can we just
go back to the first one?

540
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:22,640
This is very important.

541
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,559
The treasure Deetch was after
was hidden

542
00:20:24,559 --> 00:20:27,603
by a French naval explorer
named Jean Pierre Le Roche.

543
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:28,771
"J.L."

544
00:20:28,771 --> 00:20:31,607
This was Jean Pierre Le Roche's
insignia.

545
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:35,945
Our compass that we found
as kids is a treasure map.

546
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:37,989
Here, check this out.

547
00:20:37,989 --> 00:20:40,950
It aligns perfectly.

548
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:42,452
- Huh.
- And in my research,

549
00:20:42,452 --> 00:20:45,204
I found out that he hid it
in some kind of chamber,

550
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,956
but nobody's been able
to find it.

551
00:20:46,956 --> 00:20:48,374
What's that?

552
00:20:48,374 --> 00:20:49,917
Looks like a chamber.

553
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,335
This is real?

554
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,629
Ben, can you imagine
what your dad would say

555
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,631
if you found the treasure
of Foggy Mountain?

556
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:57,717
I guarantee you
he will look at you

557
00:20:57,717 --> 00:20:59,802
like he's never
looked at you before.

558
00:20:59,802 --> 00:21:02,430
And, Mart, Amy's 25.

559
00:21:02,430 --> 00:21:03,681
That's like 62
in Christian years.

560
00:21:03,681 --> 00:21:05,475
- At least.
- If it was up to her,

561
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,351
she would have
like 12 kids by now.

562
00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:08,603
You can't afford 12 kids.

563
00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:10,813
No. I'd have to feed 'em
dog food.

564
00:21:10,813 --> 00:21:12,482
- Yeah.
- Or hay.

565
00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:15,443
Or you feed 'em steak and caviar
like babies should be fed.

566
00:21:15,443 --> 00:21:17,445
You could with a hundred mil.

567
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:19,405
- What?
- A hundred million dollars?

568
00:21:19,405 --> 00:21:22,492
We are sitting here
on this warm summer night

569
00:21:22,492 --> 00:21:25,912
looking at the key
to changing our lives.

570
00:21:26,621 --> 00:21:29,040
What are we waiting for?

571
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:33,419
♪ ♪

572
00:21:35,546 --> 00:21:37,882
ALL:
Hey! Oh!

573
00:21:37,882 --> 00:21:40,510
Hey! Oh! Hey!

574
00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:42,178
- (horn honks, tires squealing)
- (all exclaiming)

575
00:21:42,178 --> 00:21:44,639
Oh, shit. -DRIVER: I hope
your friendship falls apart!

576
00:21:44,639 --> 00:21:46,474
- What did he just say?
- We're good. We're good.

577
00:21:46,474 --> 00:21:49,310
Oh, snap.
Brought the Lawrence shades.

578
00:21:49,310 --> 00:21:51,604
BEN:
Oh, my God! Come on, Mart.

579
00:21:51,604 --> 00:21:53,314
Is L-Man coming out to play?

580
00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:54,607
Hey, can you not, man?

581
00:21:54,607 --> 00:21:57,110
Last time I was Lawrence
was a disaster.

582
00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:58,528
The cops said, if I'm even seen

583
00:21:58,528 --> 00:22:00,363
on a roof again,
they can shoot to kill.

584
00:22:00,363 --> 00:22:02,240
JOHN: You know what, man,
just forget it.

585
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,783
I'm sorry I brought it up.

586
00:22:03,783 --> 00:22:06,202
NARRATOR:
<i>John just hoped this trip could</i>

587
00:22:06,202 --> 00:22:08,579
<i>remind his friends why
they made such a great team.</i>

588
00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:09,914
MARTIN:
Whoo!

589
00:22:09,914 --> 00:22:12,083
NARRATOR:
<i>By the way, I'm John Goodman</i>

590
00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:15,169
<i>from</i> The Big Lebowski
<i>and a ton of other shit.</i>

591
00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,587
<i>Anyhoo...</i>

592
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,050
Well, well, well.
What do we have here, Lisa?

593
00:22:21,050 --> 00:22:23,761
I wonder who threw
the illegal gender reveal party

594
00:22:23,761 --> 00:22:25,555
that caused a small forest fire.

595
00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:27,056
- Hmm.
- I don't know, Lisa.

596
00:22:27,056 --> 00:22:29,517
I wonder who could it
possibly have been.

597
00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:31,227
Come on, guys. Fess up.

598
00:22:31,227 --> 00:22:32,645
Which one of you weirdos did it?

599
00:22:32,645 --> 00:22:33,896
Are you kidding me, man?

600
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,398
- Huh?
- You look like you've been

601
00:22:35,398 --> 00:22:36,983
getting your face ridden
by an Avatar.

602
00:22:36,983 --> 00:22:38,401
- Just bustin'.
- Mm-hmm.

603
00:22:38,401 --> 00:22:40,695
Whoa.

604
00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:43,239
BEN:
Whoa. You guys all in line?

605
00:22:43,239 --> 00:22:46,242
Oh, snap.
Why is this guy all blue?

606
00:22:46,242 --> 00:22:48,161
I'm having a baby boy!

607
00:22:48,161 --> 00:22:49,829
(both exclaiming)

608
00:22:49,829 --> 00:22:51,289
Congrats, buddy.

609
00:22:51,289 --> 00:22:53,541
Hey. Can I get you something
to drink? -(both laugh)

610
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:55,168
Like if I was a waiter.
I'm not.

611
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,294
(both laughing)

612
00:22:56,294 --> 00:22:57,712
- But you do work here?
- Yes.

613
00:22:57,712 --> 00:22:59,255
I was wondering if you, uh,
could point us

614
00:22:59,255 --> 00:23:00,840
in kind of like a direction
where we could go see,

615
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,425
like, a cool, like,
site or, like,

616
00:23:02,425 --> 00:23:03,593
- vista or something.
- Oh, my God. Yeah.

617
00:23:03,593 --> 00:23:04,927
But it has to be
along this trail...

618
00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:06,471
Sorry, am I, like,
leaning in on you?

619
00:23:06,471 --> 00:23:08,097
- No, no, no, no. It's okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

620
00:23:08,097 --> 00:23:09,432
Let me just take a look.

621
00:23:09,432 --> 00:23:11,184
- What is that?
- JOHN: Don't tell anybody.

622
00:23:11,184 --> 00:23:14,103
We are, um, going to hunt for
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.

623
00:23:14,103 --> 00:23:16,439
- (laughing): Wait, what?
- I swear to God, yeah.

624
00:23:16,439 --> 00:23:18,441
- Shut up.
- I know.

625
00:23:18,441 --> 00:23:19,859
Our friendship was kind of...

626
00:23:19,859 --> 00:23:21,486
- We needed a little juice.
- Yeah.

627
00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:22,737
Maybe you guys
could've just went

628
00:23:22,737 --> 00:23:24,113
to Dave & Buster's
or something.

629
00:23:24,113 --> 00:23:25,281
Can I give you some advice,

630
00:23:25,281 --> 00:23:26,574
- man, about fatherhood?
- Please.

631
00:23:26,574 --> 00:23:28,117
Never cheat on your son
with another boy.

632
00:23:28,117 --> 00:23:30,453
- I'm gonna remember that one.
- John, come on, let's go.

633
00:23:30,453 --> 00:23:31,788
All right, I'm coming.

634
00:23:31,788 --> 00:23:33,790
Uh, it was nice meeting you.

635
00:23:33,790 --> 00:23:35,625
Bye.

636
00:23:35,625 --> 00:23:37,627
("Sooner or Later"
by The Grass Roots playing)

637
00:23:37,627 --> 00:23:39,504
- Oh, wow.
- Wow.

638
00:23:40,797 --> 00:23:42,298
- Oh, my God, horses.
- A horse.

639
00:23:42,298 --> 00:23:44,300
- Yeah, give us a lasso.
- Hey!

640
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:46,135
Come on, give us a lasso.

641
00:23:46,135 --> 00:23:47,261
(all exclaiming)

642
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,722
ALL:
Left, right, left...

643
00:23:49,722 --> 00:23:51,724
JOHN: I haven't been outside
this long in like 15 years.

644
00:23:51,724 --> 00:23:53,142
BEN:
Yeah, neither have I.

645
00:23:53,142 --> 00:23:54,477
{\an8}I had one of these as a kid.

646
00:23:54,477 --> 00:23:56,312
{\an8}- Oh, he's on the belly!
- Oh, on the belly!

647
00:23:56,312 --> 00:23:57,772
Ew, dude. What are you eating?

648
00:23:57,772 --> 00:23:59,816
They're smoochies.
Amy makes 'em.

649
00:23:59,816 --> 00:24:01,359
Smoochies?

650
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:02,652
What's in it?

651
00:24:02,652 --> 00:24:04,070
It's mostly wheat germ
and pitted dates.

652
00:24:04,070 --> 00:24:05,321
That sounds like shit,
and those look like

653
00:24:05,321 --> 00:24:06,656
- little turds.
- Ben.

654
00:24:06,656 --> 00:24:08,282
- Dude, they're the best.
- JOHN: Come on.

655
00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,325
- Stop eating it.
- Mart.

656
00:24:09,325 --> 00:24:10,785
Dude, IMAX on a phone, like,

657
00:24:10,785 --> 00:24:12,787
- isn't that bad.
- Yeah, you're so right.

658
00:24:12,787 --> 00:24:14,831
<i>Jennifer's Body</i>
is kind of amazing.

659
00:24:14,831 --> 00:24:16,833
♪ Girl, you got to give in ♪

660
00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:19,419
♪ Sooner or later... ♪

661
00:24:19,419 --> 00:24:21,963
I hate this job.

662
00:24:21,963 --> 00:24:24,173
We have had, what,
like 12 jobs?

663
00:24:24,173 --> 00:24:27,009
Like, day care, caterer.

664
00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:29,178
Then we were bus drivers together.

665
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:30,513
Wish we had no jobs.

666
00:24:30,513 --> 00:24:31,848
Wish were out there
searching for treasure

667
00:24:31,848 --> 00:24:33,808
like those guys
with a treasure map.

668
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,893
- Treasure map?
- Yeah.

669
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:37,103
The cute guys
that came in earlier--

670
00:24:37,103 --> 00:24:38,730
the, like, model
and his bodyguards.

671
00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:40,356
I didn't see nobody cute.

672
00:24:40,356 --> 00:24:41,691
I had chemistry
with one of them,

673
00:24:41,691 --> 00:24:43,276
but I don't know,
I wouldn't hook...

674
00:24:43,276 --> 00:24:45,820
I don't want to hook up.
I don't even know the guy.

675
00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,613
(laughing):
I'm not... I don't know him!

676
00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:51,701
Cute? The ginger one
looked like a colonial ghost.

677
00:24:51,701 --> 00:24:54,829
The one with glasses, he looked
like Tim Burton drew him.

678
00:24:54,829 --> 00:24:56,914
And then the short one, he got
titties bigger than mine.

679
00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:58,374
We probably wear
the same size bra.

680
00:24:58,374 --> 00:24:59,667
They had a treasure map.

681
00:24:59,667 --> 00:25:01,544
They treasure map
with, like, an "X" on it.

682
00:25:01,544 --> 00:25:03,254
We should follow them.

683
00:25:03,254 --> 00:25:05,214
Okay, people always look for
the treasure of Foggy Mountain,

684
00:25:05,214 --> 00:25:07,216
- but they don't find it.
- Come on, Lisa.

685
00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:09,052
We gonna steal that map.

686
00:25:11,679 --> 00:25:13,598
(birds chirping)

687
00:25:13,598 --> 00:25:15,266
(insect buzzing)

688
00:25:20,396 --> 00:25:21,522
(loud, shrill honk)

689
00:25:21,522 --> 00:25:22,607
- Come on, dude.
- Oh, my God.

690
00:25:22,607 --> 00:25:23,941
- What?
- What was that?

691
00:25:23,941 --> 00:25:25,568
- What was that?
- It's a birdcall, man.

692
00:25:25,568 --> 00:25:27,403
I'm trying to get good
at this stuff, okay?

693
00:25:27,403 --> 00:25:28,988
It sounds like a guy screaming.

694
00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:30,656
It feels like you should just
be able to blow into it.

695
00:25:30,656 --> 00:25:32,158
Like, it doesn't seem
like a complicated...

696
00:25:32,158 --> 00:25:34,035
- (loud, shrill honk)
- Stop it, man. -Oh, my God.

697
00:25:34,035 --> 00:25:35,578
What is happening? -How are
you so bad at that, though?

698
00:25:35,578 --> 00:25:37,413
I don't know, man.
It's frustrating to me.

699
00:25:37,413 --> 00:25:39,290
(wings fluttering)

700
00:25:42,126 --> 00:25:43,544
It worked.

701
00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:45,254
- Oh, my God.
- Holy shit.

702
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:46,756
That is a full-ass hawk.

703
00:25:46,756 --> 00:25:48,925
BEN:
Oh, my God. Okay.

704
00:25:48,925 --> 00:25:51,094
- Sort of glaring at us.
- JOHN: Yeah, you see that?

705
00:25:51,094 --> 00:25:52,762
- Maybe we head out.
- Yeah, maybe we...

706
00:25:52,762 --> 00:25:54,931
Yep. Bye, little girlie.

707
00:25:54,931 --> 00:25:56,432
See ya.

708
00:25:56,432 --> 00:25:57,767
Can't believe
that we saw a hawk.

709
00:25:57,767 --> 00:25:59,185
- Yeah. That's cool.
- I know, man.

710
00:25:59,185 --> 00:26:00,478
Yeah.

711
00:26:00,478 --> 00:26:03,398
♪ ♪

712
00:26:03,398 --> 00:26:05,191
Is it following us?

713
00:26:05,191 --> 00:26:07,193
Feels like it is.

714
00:26:07,193 --> 00:26:09,320
What's going on here?

715
00:26:11,531 --> 00:26:12,990
Think it's just walking.
It's all good.

716
00:26:12,990 --> 00:26:15,118
I think it looks like
it's hunting us.

717
00:26:16,369 --> 00:26:18,996
Well, why don't we just
pick it up a little? -Yes, sir.

718
00:26:20,915 --> 00:26:22,417
- Oh, my God. Go, go, go!
- Go! Go!

719
00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:23,793
Go! Go to the rock!

720
00:26:23,793 --> 00:26:25,294
Go, go! Fucking traverse it!

721
00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:26,587
- Okay.
- Traverse the rock!

722
00:26:26,587 --> 00:26:29,173
Wait, stop! Stop it! Stop!

723
00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:30,675
(screams)

724
00:26:33,010 --> 00:26:34,971
Does it not know it can fly?

725
00:26:34,971 --> 00:26:36,806
- What? Ew, dude.
- Oh, yuck.

726
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:39,016
BEN:
What a little fucking weirdo.

727
00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:41,185
JOHN: Why did it walk away
with an attitude?

728
00:26:41,185 --> 00:26:42,854
- Fuck, man. Jesus.
- Mart, that was scary, buddy.

729
00:26:42,854 --> 00:26:44,814
- That was very scary.
- Holy hell.

730
00:26:44,814 --> 00:26:46,149
(birds chirping)

731
00:26:46,149 --> 00:26:47,900
JOHN:
How unbelievable, dude.

732
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,652
- So beautiful.
- BEN: Mm.

733
00:26:49,652 --> 00:26:51,779
Just us, Mother Nature.

734
00:26:51,779 --> 00:26:54,449
- This ain't half bad.
- Yeah.

735
00:26:54,449 --> 00:26:56,325
- Hey!
- Oh, my God. -Oh!

736
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,035
You boys got a camping permit?

737
00:26:58,035 --> 00:26:59,662
- Uh, not...
- Ben said he had one.

738
00:26:59,662 --> 00:27:02,039
I ha... I might have it
on-on my phone.

739
00:27:02,039 --> 00:27:04,000
Chill, boys.
We're messing with you.

740
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,711
(chuckles)
Do you guys want a drink,

741
00:27:06,711 --> 00:27:08,963
or should I go fuck myself?

742
00:27:09,714 --> 00:27:11,049
- A drink.
- Yeah, a drink.

743
00:27:11,049 --> 00:27:12,091
- Yeah, let's do a drink.
- Let's do a drink.

744
00:27:12,091 --> 00:27:13,718
(indistinct chatter, laughter)

745
00:27:13,718 --> 00:27:15,678
("Ghost" by The Most
Distant Object playing)

746
00:27:15,678 --> 00:27:17,346
Try to flip it.

747
00:27:17,346 --> 00:27:19,766
(all exclaiming)

748
00:27:19,766 --> 00:27:21,350
Uh, okay. Oh.

749
00:27:21,350 --> 00:27:22,769
(whimpers) I'm sad.

750
00:27:22,769 --> 00:27:24,228
<i>- Manchester by the Sea.</i>
- Yeah.

751
00:27:24,228 --> 00:27:27,023
Okay, um, literally scariest
movie of all time.

752
00:27:27,023 --> 00:27:28,858
<i>- The Grinch.</i>
- Are you guys seeing this?

753
00:27:28,858 --> 00:27:31,527
I can't believe we just did
that. -Is that not amazing?

754
00:27:31,527 --> 00:27:32,820
And time. Zero points.

755
00:27:32,820 --> 00:27:34,280
You guys are not
allowed to talk.

756
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,866
- Oh. I always forget that.
- Oh. It's charades.

757
00:27:36,866 --> 00:27:39,911
Okay, well, since we done
and y'all got zero points,

758
00:27:39,911 --> 00:27:41,537
let's talk about
something else.

759
00:27:41,537 --> 00:27:43,331
Let's talk about
the treasure...

760
00:27:43,331 --> 00:27:44,749
Dinner is served.

761
00:27:44,749 --> 00:27:46,084
Who's hungry, y'all?

762
00:27:46,084 --> 00:27:48,544
Whew-ee, I hope I did it right.

763
00:27:48,544 --> 00:27:49,962
I think I did, probably.

764
00:27:49,962 --> 00:27:51,964
Oh, the head's still intact,
if anyone...

765
00:27:51,964 --> 00:27:53,549
- LISA: Oh.
- It's a delicacy.

766
00:27:53,549 --> 00:27:54,926
Dude, don't eat it.

767
00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:58,054
- (crunching)
- Mmm.

768
00:27:58,054 --> 00:28:00,181
Interesting flavor palette.

769
00:28:00,181 --> 00:28:02,850
It's, like, hard on the outside
but so raw on the inside.

770
00:28:02,850 --> 00:28:04,727
Good, though.
I think that's right.

771
00:28:04,727 --> 00:28:06,396
You were really, really good.

772
00:28:06,396 --> 00:28:08,106
- Hey, Lisa.
- Yeah?

773
00:28:08,106 --> 00:28:10,817
Hey, can I talk to you over
here, just me and you, please?

774
00:28:10,817 --> 00:28:11,943
Oh. (chuckles, clears throat)

775
00:28:11,943 --> 00:28:13,277
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

776
00:28:13,277 --> 00:28:15,446
- Cool.
- Lisa.

777
00:28:16,447 --> 00:28:17,740
You guys see that?

778
00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:19,075
She's flirting with me.

779
00:28:19,075 --> 00:28:20,743
Dude, you guys were vibing.

780
00:28:20,743 --> 00:28:22,912
We're not even here for that.
Like, this isn't a sex trip.

781
00:28:22,912 --> 00:28:24,872
But when's the next time
we are gonna take a sex trip?

782
00:28:24,872 --> 00:28:26,791
- I don't know.
- Did you hear that?

783
00:28:26,791 --> 00:28:28,167
John thinks
<i>The Grinch</i> is scary, too.

784
00:28:28,167 --> 00:28:29,836
It's like, yeah,
just 'cause it's a Christmas

785
00:28:29,836 --> 00:28:31,212
doesn't mean he's not a monster.

786
00:28:31,212 --> 00:28:32,714
Yeah. Lisa, Lisa,
I need you to focus, okay?

787
00:28:32,714 --> 00:28:33,923
We are here for one thing

788
00:28:33,923 --> 00:28:35,758
and one thing only,
and that is...

789
00:28:35,758 --> 00:28:37,051
- To hook up.
- ...to get the treasure map.

790
00:28:37,051 --> 00:28:38,761
- Okay.
- It's to get the treasure map.

791
00:28:38,761 --> 00:28:40,430
Lisa, I need you to focus,
okay? -Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm...

792
00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:42,056
You know what? No, I'm not
prepared for this, man.

793
00:28:42,056 --> 00:28:43,433
- Come on. Why?
- No, I'm not.

794
00:28:43,433 --> 00:28:46,060
God, I've never trimmed my bush.

795
00:28:46,060 --> 00:28:47,603
It's like, what am I gonna do?

796
00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:49,355
I thought you were gonna say
a whole list of things.

797
00:28:49,355 --> 00:28:50,857
You go in there
in the tent with John,

798
00:28:50,857 --> 00:28:52,400
you get the treasure map...

799
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,485
And if we hook up, it's like,
okay, we hooked up.

800
00:28:54,485 --> 00:28:56,529
I don't care if you're
hooking up, mid-hookup.

801
00:28:56,529 --> 00:28:58,281
- You can be grabbing...
- Grabbing the treasure map.

802
00:28:58,281 --> 00:28:59,866
...the treasure map.
That's fine.

803
00:28:59,866 --> 00:29:02,160
Lisa, don't let me down, okay?
I need you.

804
00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:04,954
So, what are we, um...

805
00:29:04,954 --> 00:29:07,290
Wh-Why are we in here?

806
00:29:07,290 --> 00:29:08,875
What do you mean?

807
00:29:08,875 --> 00:29:10,168
No, I just...

808
00:29:10,168 --> 00:29:11,627
There's a party
going on out there,

809
00:29:11,627 --> 00:29:13,087
- and now we're in this tent.
- Yeah.

810
00:29:13,087 --> 00:29:15,631
But I-I mean, I'm not mad. I...

811
00:29:15,631 --> 00:29:18,092
Just funny, like, I feel like
I should be, like, nervous,

812
00:29:18,092 --> 00:29:21,012
but, like, I... yeah,
I feel like I like you.

813
00:29:22,513 --> 00:29:24,515
- Oh.
- (chuckles)

814
00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:26,309
Well, I like you.

815
00:29:26,309 --> 00:29:27,560
(both laughing)

816
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,353
We're on a date.

817
00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:32,106
Taylor, truth or dare?

818
00:29:35,401 --> 00:29:36,861
Truth.

819
00:29:36,861 --> 00:29:39,030
What is your worst memory,
like, ever?

820
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:42,200
So, wait, what are
the rules again?

821
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,660
Okay, so the game is you have
to sing as earnest as you can,

822
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:45,953
and it has to be
an original song.

823
00:29:45,953 --> 00:29:47,330
- You...
- No jokes.

824
00:29:47,330 --> 00:29:48,956
- Okay. Okay, but you go first.
- No funny voice.

825
00:29:48,956 --> 00:29:50,166
- You go first. You go first.
- Okay.

826
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:53,086
♪ Boy, you got me going crazy ♪

827
00:29:53,086 --> 00:29:55,088
♪ You're making me feel loco ♪

828
00:29:55,088 --> 00:29:56,798
♪ Sexual seduction ♪

829
00:29:56,798 --> 00:29:58,508
♪ That's what I like ♪

830
00:29:58,508 --> 00:30:01,719
♪ You know what, you can't
guess where my underwear is ♪

831
00:30:01,719 --> 00:30:03,888
♪ I've hid 'em in this room ♪

832
00:30:03,888 --> 00:30:05,807
♪ You better find them ♪

833
00:30:05,807 --> 00:30:07,934
♪ Here's a broom. ♪

834
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,019
To find them.

835
00:30:10,019 --> 00:30:11,771
(laughing):
Oh, my God.

836
00:30:11,771 --> 00:30:13,689
That's, like,
something I'm working on.

837
00:30:13,689 --> 00:30:14,857
- Now you go.
- You're gonna make fun.

838
00:30:14,857 --> 00:30:16,901
- It's embarrassing.
- Okay.

839
00:30:16,901 --> 00:30:18,653
♪ You always on my mind ♪

840
00:30:20,363 --> 00:30:22,824
{\an8}♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪

841
00:30:22,824 --> 00:30:25,827
♪ She smoking on all I like ♪

842
00:30:25,827 --> 00:30:27,245
♪ Smoking all day, all night ♪

843
00:30:27,245 --> 00:30:31,541
♪ And I say, "Quit that,
put it down now" ♪

844
00:30:31,541 --> 00:30:34,001
♪ But she doesn't,
so I go over there ♪

845
00:30:34,001 --> 00:30:35,712
♪ So I go over
to brush her hair ♪

846
00:30:35,712 --> 00:30:39,674
♪ She says, "Get off of me,
you left me months ago." ♪

847
00:30:40,675 --> 00:30:42,427
(both laughing)

848
00:30:42,427 --> 00:30:44,387
LISA:
I definitely believe in God.

849
00:30:44,387 --> 00:30:45,680
JOHN:
Mm.

850
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,223
Do you have a good relationship
with your dad?

851
00:30:47,223 --> 00:30:48,558
- No.
- See, I told you,

852
00:30:48,558 --> 00:30:50,059
you look so good
with your hair slicked back.

853
00:30:50,059 --> 00:30:51,310
I don't think that
it looks good.

854
00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:52,770
I don't think
I can pull it off.

855
00:30:52,770 --> 00:30:53,980
(laughing):
It looks really good.

856
00:30:53,980 --> 00:30:55,648
You're, like, the hottest guy.

857
00:30:55,648 --> 00:30:58,109
- Are you serious?
- Mm, yeah.

858
00:30:58,109 --> 00:31:00,027
Hotter than Johnny Knoxville?

859
00:31:00,027 --> 00:31:01,904
Yeah. Definitely.

860
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:04,240
- What about Steve-O?
- Yeah.

861
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,492
And he's, like,
my ultimate celebrity crush.

862
00:31:06,492 --> 00:31:08,161
That feels good. (laughs)

863
00:31:08,161 --> 00:31:10,872
So you know how older ladies
have this great place

864
00:31:10,872 --> 00:31:12,915
where they can come
and socialize and gab?

865
00:31:12,915 --> 00:31:14,917
And so I got to thinking,

866
00:31:14,917 --> 00:31:16,878
why don't little boys have
a place like that?

867
00:31:16,878 --> 00:31:18,921
Why is it just little boys?
I'm confused.

868
00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:20,506
This would just be
little boys and Ben.

869
00:31:20,506 --> 00:31:22,592
You sound like you got a little
Never Neverland crackin'

870
00:31:22,592 --> 00:31:24,469
but you get a haircut
at the end. -BOTH: No, no, no.

871
00:31:24,469 --> 00:31:26,179
Hold it really tight.

872
00:31:27,305 --> 00:31:28,473
(laughing)

873
00:31:28,473 --> 00:31:29,766
Three of hearts.

874
00:31:29,766 --> 00:31:31,392
Oh, my God.

875
00:31:31,392 --> 00:31:33,811
What is the saddest thought
you can think of right now?

876
00:31:33,811 --> 00:31:36,773
My grandma will never make out
with anyone ever again.

877
00:31:36,773 --> 00:31:39,400
That's so sweet that
that's your saddest thought.

878
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,403
("Fade into You" by Mazzy Star
playing)

879
00:31:44,155 --> 00:31:46,532
- I didn't fart once, okay?
- TAYLOR: I can smell it.

880
00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:49,327
You farted your ass all the way
around this goddamn campsite.

881
00:31:49,327 --> 00:31:51,204
He did not fart his ass all
the way around. -I didn't...

882
00:31:51,204 --> 00:31:53,414
I... Sometimes
it smells outside.

883
00:31:53,414 --> 00:31:54,791
Smell like bussy.

884
00:31:54,791 --> 00:31:56,959
It... it doesn't smell
like bussy.

885
00:31:56,959 --> 00:31:59,420
- TAYLOR: Okay.
- What's... what's bussy?

886
00:32:00,463 --> 00:32:02,924
I don't want this night to end,
but I'm getting sleepy.

887
00:32:02,924 --> 00:32:05,176
Yeah. Me, too.

888
00:32:05,968 --> 00:32:08,471
This was really, really nice.

889
00:32:08,471 --> 00:32:10,598
♪ ♪

890
00:32:17,188 --> 00:32:19,440
- (song stops)
- (birds chirping)

891
00:32:25,071 --> 00:32:26,322
Hey, y'all.

892
00:32:26,322 --> 00:32:28,533
- (muffled shouting)
- (John chuckles)

893
00:32:29,742 --> 00:32:31,160
Guys, why are we tied up?

894
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,496
- (muffled shouting)
- I'm coming. I'm coming.

895
00:32:33,496 --> 00:32:34,789
(grunts)

896
00:32:34,789 --> 00:32:36,541
(muffled shouting continues)

897
00:32:38,751 --> 00:32:40,169
(yelling)

898
00:32:40,169 --> 00:32:41,671
- What happened?
- Those mean ladies tied us up

899
00:32:41,671 --> 00:32:42,922
and stole all our shit.

900
00:32:42,922 --> 00:32:44,590
- What?
- (yells)

901
00:32:44,590 --> 00:32:46,342
Get us out of here! It's like
a million fucking degrees!

902
00:32:46,342 --> 00:32:47,885
You guys,
I'm gonna use my mouth.

903
00:32:47,885 --> 00:32:49,679
(yells) I'm free!

904
00:32:49,679 --> 00:32:51,264
(all gasping, groaning)

905
00:32:51,264 --> 00:32:53,349
- Dude, you slept so late.
- It's 2:00!

906
00:32:53,349 --> 00:32:54,726
What the hell happened?

907
00:32:54,726 --> 00:32:56,978
Taylor tied us up,
and Lisa stole the map.

908
00:32:56,978 --> 00:32:58,980
Wait, what? No, she didn't.

909
00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:00,148
Yeah. Kiss the treasure goodbye.

910
00:33:00,148 --> 00:33:02,817
(scoffs) I got love-bombed?

911
00:33:02,817 --> 00:33:04,193
- Wh-What?
- What?

912
00:33:04,193 --> 00:33:06,028
- I'm going to bed.
- BOTH: Don't go to bed.

913
00:33:06,028 --> 00:33:07,864
I'm sorry you got love-bombed.
I think we shouldn't give up.

914
00:33:07,864 --> 00:33:10,700
Is there anything else
that we have or could use...

915
00:33:10,700 --> 00:33:12,034
So uncomfortable, dude.

916
00:33:12,034 --> 00:33:13,703
I'm trying to sleep
in a bunch of dirt.

917
00:33:13,703 --> 00:33:15,329
Yeah, and you slept like
13 hours, man! -You guys?

918
00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:17,039
Shut up! -Do we still
have the compass? The...

919
00:33:17,039 --> 00:33:18,875
- Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Maybe we can make another map.

920
00:33:18,875 --> 00:33:20,752
Oh, great.
We have a useless compass.

921
00:33:20,752 --> 00:33:23,212
- What are you talking about?
- It doesn't point north.

922
00:33:23,212 --> 00:33:25,048
It just points
to the middle of the woods.

923
00:33:25,048 --> 00:33:27,717
It always has. That's why
I put a picture on it.

924
00:33:29,761 --> 00:33:31,054
BEN:
Wait, wait, John.

925
00:33:31,054 --> 00:33:32,513
Ha-Have you looked at this
in a while?

926
00:33:32,513 --> 00:33:36,184
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find"?

927
00:33:38,770 --> 00:33:40,480
"Let me be your guide..."

928
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:41,939
Yeah, and it's not
pointing north.

929
00:33:41,939 --> 00:33:44,067
"...and riches you will find"?

930
00:33:44,067 --> 00:33:45,735
So, where is it pointing, John?

931
00:33:45,735 --> 00:33:47,612
I think that that's pointing
to the treasure.

932
00:33:47,612 --> 00:33:49,197
- That's what we said.
- That's what we were saying.

933
00:33:49,197 --> 00:33:50,740
- We figured that out.
- Oh, my God, dude!

934
00:33:50,740 --> 00:33:51,908
"Let me be your guide..."

935
00:33:51,908 --> 00:33:53,409
ALL:
"And riches you will find."

936
00:33:53,409 --> 00:33:55,078
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."

937
00:33:55,078 --> 00:33:56,579
Those rangers think
they can mess with me?

938
00:33:56,579 --> 00:33:59,665
- BOTH: Uh-uh!
- I don't think so, Lisa!

939
00:33:59,665 --> 00:34:01,501
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, John, John.

940
00:34:01,501 --> 00:34:03,127
It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay. -It's just hard.

941
00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:04,379
- It's really... it's a lot.
- It was recent,

942
00:34:04,379 --> 00:34:05,588
and I really
genuinely liked her.

943
00:34:05,588 --> 00:34:07,173
- Aw.
- You know what we got to do?

944
00:34:07,173 --> 00:34:08,800
- Get there first. Whoo!
- Yes.

945
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,260
ALL: "Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."

946
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:13,262
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."

947
00:34:13,262 --> 00:34:14,764
(Taylor and Lisa whooping)

948
00:34:14,764 --> 00:34:16,140
Who stole their treasure map?

949
00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:17,683
BOTH:
We did!

950
00:34:17,683 --> 00:34:19,852
- Yeah, fuck those guys!
- I do feel guilty, though.

951
00:34:19,852 --> 00:34:21,979
- I really connected with John.
- Which one was John?

952
00:34:21,979 --> 00:34:24,941
Oh, the one that looked like
Danny DeVito got a glow-up.

953
00:34:24,941 --> 00:34:26,401
Right. Who gives a fuck?

954
00:34:26,401 --> 00:34:28,361
We're millionaires.
We can get any man we want.

955
00:34:28,361 --> 00:34:30,655
- Hey, Method Man!
- Hi, John!

956
00:34:32,323 --> 00:34:34,325
Grisham, the writer.

957
00:34:34,325 --> 00:34:36,452
Have you read <i>The Firm?</i>
I couldn't put it down.

958
00:34:36,452 --> 00:34:38,538
TAYLOR: I don't want to talk
about John Grisham.

959
00:34:38,538 --> 00:34:40,540
(wind whistling)

960
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:42,667
(birds cawing)

961
00:34:44,085 --> 00:34:46,254
So, the treasure's that way.

962
00:34:47,213 --> 00:34:49,507
♪ ♪

963
00:34:53,553 --> 00:34:56,305
Well, I mean,
how are we gonna cross this?

964
00:34:56,305 --> 00:34:58,141
I mean, we could try to find,
like, another route.

965
00:34:58,141 --> 00:35:00,309
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Guys?

966
00:35:00,309 --> 00:35:02,311
I have a good idea.

967
00:35:02,937 --> 00:35:04,522
♪ ♪

968
00:35:04,522 --> 00:35:06,065
Wingsuits.

969
00:35:06,065 --> 00:35:07,817
Dude, what?

970
00:35:07,817 --> 00:35:09,527
We're gonna fly over that?

971
00:35:09,527 --> 00:35:11,362
We do it all the time
in the machine.

972
00:35:11,362 --> 00:35:13,698
- This is not a machine.
- Guys...

973
00:35:13,698 --> 00:35:15,491
I'm doing it.

974
00:35:16,492 --> 00:35:17,660
Come on!

975
00:35:20,455 --> 00:35:21,831
Are you sure you want
to do this?

976
00:35:21,831 --> 00:35:24,333
It feels like it's getting
extremely windy.

977
00:35:24,333 --> 00:35:25,710
I just need you guys
to trust me, okay?

978
00:35:25,710 --> 00:35:27,336
You know what?
Go ahead and film me,

979
00:35:27,336 --> 00:35:28,713
'cause I'm pretty sure
my old man

980
00:35:28,713 --> 00:35:30,840
is gonna want to see
his boy in action.

981
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,341
Okay.

982
00:35:32,341 --> 00:35:34,552
Oh, my God, it is steep.

983
00:35:34,552 --> 00:35:37,346
(screaming)

984
00:35:37,346 --> 00:35:39,974
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

985
00:35:39,974 --> 00:35:42,268
- Ben!
- (screaming)

986
00:35:42,268 --> 00:35:44,353
Ben, you're like a kite!

987
00:35:44,353 --> 00:35:47,190
- What?
- You're like my kite, Ben.

988
00:35:47,190 --> 00:35:49,442
I feel like I'm at
the beach right now.

989
00:35:50,234 --> 00:35:52,195
Oh, like a kite!

990
00:35:52,195 --> 00:35:54,030
(screaming)

991
00:35:54,030 --> 00:35:56,282
- John, cut the video.
- Got it.

992
00:35:56,282 --> 00:35:57,408
(cell phone whooshes)

993
00:35:57,408 --> 00:35:59,202
I sent it to your dad.

994
00:35:59,202 --> 00:36:00,661
I'm sorry.

995
00:36:00,661 --> 00:36:01,579
What? No!

996
00:36:01,579 --> 00:36:02,914
- Shit.
- Are you kidding me?

997
00:36:02,914 --> 00:36:04,248
- Ben!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

998
00:36:04,248 --> 00:36:05,541
(screaming)

999
00:36:05,541 --> 00:36:07,543
Ben, you're taking me
up with you!

1000
00:36:07,543 --> 00:36:09,420
- Oh, no! No, stop!
- The cliff!

1001
00:36:09,420 --> 00:36:10,797
- The cliff!
- No, stop, stop!

1002
00:36:10,797 --> 00:36:13,424
- No!
- (screaming)

1003
00:36:14,801 --> 00:36:16,886
(wind whistling)

1004
00:36:19,138 --> 00:36:20,848
(birds chirping)

1005
00:36:20,848 --> 00:36:22,308
(all groaning)

1006
00:36:22,308 --> 00:36:23,726
JOHN: Oh, my God, is everyone
okay? -MARTIN: Ow.

1007
00:36:23,726 --> 00:36:25,603
- MARTIN: No, dude, that hurt.
- JOHN: Dudes?

1008
00:36:25,603 --> 00:36:27,230
I did seriously bruise
my taint.

1009
00:36:27,230 --> 00:36:28,648
MARTIN:
We almost died.

1010
00:36:28,648 --> 00:36:30,400
And there are fucking ants
in this tree.

1011
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,527
Well, you miss 100% of
the shots you don't take, man.

1012
00:36:32,527 --> 00:36:34,362
Shut up. -Shut up. Shut the
fuck up, man. -No, dude.

1013
00:36:34,362 --> 00:36:37,198
Ben, you failed, okay?
You failed.

1014
00:36:37,198 --> 00:36:38,574
Come on, Martin.

1015
00:36:38,574 --> 00:36:41,285
Dear God, please save me
from this terrible trip

1016
00:36:41,285 --> 00:36:42,870
with my two awful friends.

1017
00:36:42,870 --> 00:36:44,956
Please lead us to the treasure,
and I promise I'll be

1018
00:36:44,956 --> 00:36:48,084
a good Christian like the Pope
or Chance the Rapper.

1019
00:36:48,084 --> 00:36:49,585
Wait. Guys, shut up, shut up.

1020
00:36:49,585 --> 00:36:51,045
MARTIN and BEN:
What?

1021
00:36:51,045 --> 00:36:52,505
Dude, look.

1022
00:36:54,424 --> 00:36:57,051
Is-is that the chamber thing
from the compass?

1023
00:36:58,511 --> 00:37:00,430
- MARTIN: Dude, it-it is.
- JOHN: Oh!

1024
00:37:00,430 --> 00:37:02,265
- No way!
- Wow, that's it.

1025
00:37:02,265 --> 00:37:03,850
- We fucking found it!
- Oh, my God.

1026
00:37:03,850 --> 00:37:06,436
ALL: "Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."

1027
00:37:06,436 --> 00:37:08,980
"Let me be your guide,
and riches you will find."

1028
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:11,274
- Dude, I got us here.
- Shut the fuck up.

1029
00:37:11,274 --> 00:37:13,609
♪ ♪

1030
00:37:14,986 --> 00:37:16,946
JOHN:
Holy shit, dude.

1031
00:37:17,989 --> 00:37:19,907
Oh, my God.

1032
00:37:19,907 --> 00:37:21,743
How do we get in?

1033
00:37:23,786 --> 00:37:26,080
- JOHN: Um...
- BEN: Wait, yo, yo, yo.

1034
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,458
Do you have the compass?

1035
00:37:28,458 --> 00:37:31,002
- Give-give me the compass.
- The compass. Go, go, go.

1036
00:37:40,219 --> 00:37:42,513
♪ ♪

1037
00:37:47,685 --> 00:37:49,604
BEN:
It smells like bussy in here.

1038
00:37:49,604 --> 00:37:51,939
MARTIN: Dude, don't start
saying that now.

1039
00:37:51,939 --> 00:37:55,485
This must have been where
Le Roche hid before he died.

1040
00:37:55,485 --> 00:37:57,236
(gasps, blows)

1041
00:37:57,236 --> 00:37:58,696
JOHN:
Dude, what?

1042
00:37:58,696 --> 00:38:01,115
- It must be here.
- MARTIN: Oh, my God.

1043
00:38:01,115 --> 00:38:02,408
Guys, look.

1044
00:38:02,408 --> 00:38:04,994
That looks like
SpongeBob's door.

1045
00:38:06,788 --> 00:38:08,831
- What?
- Like on his pineapple house.

1046
00:38:08,831 --> 00:38:10,458
Dude, that's-that's
the treasure door.

1047
00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:11,751
That's probably where
the treasure is.

1048
00:38:11,751 --> 00:38:13,544
It's, like, a giant steel...
Open it.

1049
00:38:13,544 --> 00:38:15,838
- Dude, open it.
- (rattling)

1050
00:38:15,838 --> 00:38:17,173
MARTIN:
I think it's locked.

1051
00:38:17,173 --> 00:38:19,008
- Is there a key?
- I don't know.

1052
00:38:19,008 --> 00:38:20,843
Okay, obviously, it wasn't
just gonna be open, right?

1053
00:38:20,843 --> 00:38:22,678
Maybe this is like
an escape room.

1054
00:38:22,678 --> 00:38:25,223
Maybe we just have to look
around for a-a key or a clue.

1055
00:38:25,223 --> 00:38:28,059
Use your brains.
We can figure this out.

1056
00:38:29,352 --> 00:38:30,812
Shit.

1057
00:38:30,812 --> 00:38:32,355
Wait.

1058
00:38:32,355 --> 00:38:34,732
Look, under the painting.

1059
00:38:35,525 --> 00:38:38,486
"A treasure too great
for one man.

1060
00:38:38,486 --> 00:38:41,447
"Only a group in harmony can...

1061
00:38:41,447 --> 00:38:43,449
find it."

1062
00:38:44,242 --> 00:38:45,451
Botched the rhyme there.

1063
00:38:45,451 --> 00:38:46,953
You know what that means, though?

1064
00:38:46,953 --> 00:38:48,371
We have to be in harmony.

1065
00:38:48,371 --> 00:38:49,664
We have to work together.

1066
00:38:49,664 --> 00:38:51,791
- (chuckles softly)
- Of course.

1067
00:38:53,418 --> 00:38:54,961
Dang it.

1068
00:38:57,797 --> 00:39:00,341
I can't believe
we came all this way

1069
00:39:00,341 --> 00:39:03,010
and we can't open the door.

1070
00:39:10,810 --> 00:39:12,979
- (playing piano)
- ♪ Feeling lost ♪

1071
00:39:12,979 --> 00:39:15,565
♪ Feeling tired ♪

1072
00:39:17,692 --> 00:39:22,572
♪ Nowhere to go,
time has expired ♪

1073
00:39:23,781 --> 00:39:25,575
♪ We've reached the end ♪

1074
00:39:25,575 --> 00:39:26,701
(exhales sharply)

1075
00:39:26,701 --> 00:39:29,954
ALL:
♪ And we are sad ♪

1076
00:39:29,954 --> 00:39:31,372
(chuckles) Nice.

1077
00:39:31,372 --> 00:39:32,915
(rattling)

1078
00:39:34,876 --> 00:39:36,586
What was that?

1079
00:39:36,586 --> 00:39:38,004
Did the music open the door?

1080
00:39:38,004 --> 00:39:41,215
As soon as we hit the harmony,
it just came off.

1081
00:39:41,215 --> 00:39:42,467
BEN:
"Harmony."

1082
00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:45,011
"Only a group in harmony
can find it."

1083
00:39:45,011 --> 00:39:47,805
They're talking about literal
harmonies. Keep going, John.

1084
00:39:47,805 --> 00:39:49,682
- Keep playing.
- Keep going. Keep going.

1085
00:39:49,682 --> 00:39:53,478
♪ Feeling stressed,
feeling sick ♪

1086
00:39:54,645 --> 00:39:58,107
♪ Nothing's working,
nothing seems to stick ♪

1087
00:39:58,107 --> 00:39:59,358
Hit it, Mart.

1088
00:39:59,358 --> 00:40:01,152
♪ Oh, Le Roche ♪

1089
00:40:01,152 --> 00:40:03,654
♪ Oh, please, monsieur ♪

1090
00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:05,990
ALL:
♪ Help us out ♪

1091
00:40:05,990 --> 00:40:09,327
- ♪ And open le door ♪
- (door clanks)

1092
00:40:09,327 --> 00:40:10,369
(all gasp)

1093
00:40:10,369 --> 00:40:12,622
♪ ♪

1094
00:40:12,622 --> 00:40:16,667
♪ Open le door ♪

1095
00:40:18,086 --> 00:40:21,798
♪ Open le door. ♪

1096
00:40:21,798 --> 00:40:23,925
♪ ♪

1097
00:40:33,351 --> 00:40:35,603
- (vicious snarling)
- (all gasp)

1098
00:40:35,603 --> 00:40:36,646
It's an animal! It's an animal!

1099
00:40:36,646 --> 00:40:38,731
Oh, my God, it's an animal!

1100
00:40:38,731 --> 00:40:40,650
(screams) -I'm gonna be
sick to my stomach.

1101
00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,026
What was that?

1102
00:40:42,026 --> 00:40:43,694
I think it was, like,
a sick, hairless bear.

1103
00:40:43,694 --> 00:40:45,696
- Why didn't it have any hair?
- I don't know.

1104
00:40:45,696 --> 00:40:47,281
Maybe it got trapped in there.

1105
00:40:47,281 --> 00:40:48,491
I'm done. Forget the money.

1106
00:40:48,491 --> 00:40:49,867
- BEN: Yeah.
- It's not worth it.

1107
00:40:49,867 --> 00:40:51,285
- BEN: No, let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait.

1108
00:40:51,285 --> 00:40:53,079
I have an idea.

1109
00:40:54,705 --> 00:40:57,500
A trail of smoochies--
he'll eat 'em right up.

1110
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,711
JOHN:
Oh, dude. Okay.

1111
00:40:59,711 --> 00:41:01,045
- Is this a good idea, man?
- Yeah.

1112
00:41:01,045 --> 00:41:03,256
No one in the world
likes smoochies.

1113
00:41:03,256 --> 00:41:05,675
- I-I'm just saying...
- Okay, everybody, get close.

1114
00:41:05,675 --> 00:41:08,219
He might, like,
think it's his own turds.

1115
00:41:15,685 --> 00:41:17,437
(whispers):
Does he like the smoochies?

1116
00:41:17,437 --> 00:41:20,106
- (vicious snarling)
- (all yelling)

1117
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:23,568
(screaming)

1118
00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:25,361
(panicked whimpering)

1119
00:41:25,361 --> 00:41:26,529
Martin!

1120
00:41:26,529 --> 00:41:28,614
(all gasping)

1121
00:41:28,614 --> 00:41:29,866
It's following the treasure!

1122
00:41:29,866 --> 00:41:32,118
Why did you throw it to me?

1123
00:41:32,118 --> 00:41:34,787
- (growls)
- (screaming)

1124
00:41:34,787 --> 00:41:36,414
- Food! Food for you!
- BEN: Oh, throw the food!

1125
00:41:36,414 --> 00:41:39,292
Follow the food!
Follow the food!

1126
00:41:41,419 --> 00:41:43,921
(all gasping loudly)

1127
00:41:45,256 --> 00:41:48,718
("Crank That (Soulja Boy)"
by Soulja Boy Tell'em playing)

1128
00:41:48,718 --> 00:41:50,011
- I shit my pants.
- BEN: No.

1129
00:41:50,011 --> 00:41:51,846
Yeah, I fucking dumped
in my pants.

1130
00:41:51,846 --> 00:41:53,556
♪ Soulja Boy off in it, oh ♪

1131
00:41:53,556 --> 00:41:55,391
♪ Watch me crank it,
watch me roll ♪

1132
00:41:55,391 --> 00:41:56,893
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪

1133
00:41:56,893 --> 00:41:58,728
♪ Then Superman that, oh,
now watch me yuu ♪

1134
00:41:58,728 --> 00:42:00,438
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch ♪

1135
00:42:00,438 --> 00:42:02,106
♪ Soulja Boy off in it, oh ♪

1136
00:42:02,106 --> 00:42:03,733
♪ Watch me crank it,
watch me roll ♪

1137
00:42:03,733 --> 00:42:05,234
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪

1138
00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:07,737
♪ Then Superman that, oh,
now watch me yuu ♪

1139
00:42:07,737 --> 00:42:09,447
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch me yuu ♪

1140
00:42:09,447 --> 00:42:10,907
- ♪ Crank that Soulja Boy ♪
- ♪ Now watch ♪

1141
00:42:10,907 --> 00:42:12,492
♪ Superman that, oh ♪

1142
00:42:12,492 --> 00:42:14,410
♪ Yeah, watch me crank
that Robocop. ♪

1143
00:42:15,328 --> 00:42:16,954
- (laughter)
- BEN: You guys, check it out.

1144
00:42:16,954 --> 00:42:18,539
(imitating Marge Simpson):
Homie, I'm worth

1145
00:42:18,539 --> 00:42:19,874
millions of dollars.

1146
00:42:19,874 --> 00:42:21,918
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!

1147
00:42:21,918 --> 00:42:23,044
Marge!

1148
00:42:23,044 --> 00:42:24,253
- Marge Simpson.
- JOHN: Marge Simpson.

1149
00:42:24,253 --> 00:42:25,546
ALL:
To Marge!

1150
00:42:25,546 --> 00:42:27,298
And, guys, I think
the rangers were

1151
00:42:27,298 --> 00:42:29,425
a little too slow to get it,
don't you think?

1152
00:42:29,425 --> 00:42:31,719
- Yeah, man.
- A little too slow.

1153
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,638
I don't even care, like,
anymore that, like,

1154
00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:35,640
Lisa broke my heart.

1155
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,683
- Like...
- BEN: Good.

1156
00:42:38,976 --> 00:42:40,937
- Uh... yeah.
- Good, good.

1157
00:42:40,937 --> 00:42:42,271
BEN: Still can't believe
we found it.

1158
00:42:42,271 --> 00:42:43,856
Hey, guess it's all thanks
to me and God.

1159
00:42:43,856 --> 00:42:47,110
I tip my hat to you,
my strange friend.

1160
00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:49,404
I mean,
was the wing-suiting God,

1161
00:42:49,404 --> 00:42:50,863
or was that my bravery?

1162
00:42:50,863 --> 00:42:52,824
Well, I think kind of
everything is all God.

1163
00:42:52,824 --> 00:42:55,326
Well, more of a science fella
myself, but I get

1164
00:42:55,326 --> 00:42:57,495
that you're going through
something with your girlfriend.

1165
00:42:57,495 --> 00:43:00,415
MARTIN: I'm not going through
anything with my girlfriend.

1166
00:43:00,415 --> 00:43:02,959
♪ ♪

1167
00:43:02,959 --> 00:43:05,128
Guys, we found it together.

1168
00:43:05,128 --> 00:43:07,630
I think that
that deserves a toast.

1169
00:43:07,630 --> 00:43:09,006
- That's right. -Okay.
- I mean, come on.

1170
00:43:09,006 --> 00:43:10,299
- We can all agree to that.
- Cheers to us.

1171
00:43:10,299 --> 00:43:11,592
- (cell phones dinging)
- BEN: Oh, shit.

1172
00:43:11,592 --> 00:43:13,177
Do we have service out here?

1173
00:43:13,177 --> 00:43:14,971
- Oh, shit.
- (cell phones vibrating)

1174
00:43:14,971 --> 00:43:16,723
- Want to FaceTime my dad.
- Oh.

1175
00:43:16,723 --> 00:43:19,350
- I got to call Amy.
- I'll be right back. -Oh...

1176
00:43:21,310 --> 00:43:22,854
Um...

1177
00:43:23,688 --> 00:43:25,690
I'll call someone, t... Um...

1178
00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:28,526
Dude, do I have to, like,
re-download the app?

1179
00:43:28,526 --> 00:43:30,820
What is going on?

1180
00:43:36,868 --> 00:43:39,287
BEN: All right, fellas,
now that we're mega-rich,

1181
00:43:39,287 --> 00:43:42,206
we got to come up with a smart,
reasonable budget.

1182
00:43:42,206 --> 00:43:44,792
What about ten mil for our own
private music festival?

1183
00:43:44,792 --> 00:43:46,169
- Yes.
- And who's on the bill?

1184
00:43:46,169 --> 00:43:48,671
- Two words for you: Fat Joe.
- Oh!

1185
00:43:48,671 --> 00:43:50,339
ALL:
♪ Lean back. ♪

1186
00:43:50,339 --> 00:43:51,549
I think that we should go on

1187
00:43:51,549 --> 00:43:52,759
a badass vacation
with each other.

1188
00:43:52,759 --> 00:43:54,010
- Love that. Love that.
- Yep.

1189
00:43:54,010 --> 00:43:55,428
What are we thinking, Cabo?

1190
00:43:55,428 --> 00:43:56,804
- Yeah.
- JOHN: Cabo. That's cute.

1191
00:43:56,804 --> 00:43:59,057
No, two words for you blokes:
London.

1192
00:43:59,057 --> 00:44:01,434
- Holy shit!
- Oh! Yes, sir.

1193
00:44:01,434 --> 00:44:03,269
(British accent): The blokes
are back to take London, folks.

1194
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:05,354
Oh, yeah! -And I'm gonna
eat some porridge and mash.

1195
00:44:05,354 --> 00:44:08,024
And I'm driving on the right
side of the road, innit?

1196
00:44:08,024 --> 00:44:09,817
- Too... too much.
- Sorry.

1197
00:44:09,817 --> 00:44:11,778
$2 million just to slip
to a waitress

1198
00:44:11,778 --> 00:44:13,404
at a diner, go viral as fuck.

1199
00:44:13,404 --> 00:44:16,199
Oh, and I'm gonna need, like,
a big chunk for me and Amy.

1200
00:44:16,199 --> 00:44:17,700
- Okay. What?
- We got to give five million

1201
00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,368
- to the Catholic Church.
- What?

1202
00:44:19,368 --> 00:44:21,245
- Five million to the... What?
- What do you...

1203
00:44:21,245 --> 00:44:23,372
They need it, man,
for stained glass and lawsuits.

1204
00:44:23,372 --> 00:44:24,874
JOHN and BEN:
Lawsuits?

1205
00:44:24,874 --> 00:44:26,542
Not all the lawsuits
are about something bad.

1206
00:44:26,542 --> 00:44:27,585
Sometimes it's just
someone trying

1207
00:44:27,585 --> 00:44:29,212
to get money out of the Pope.

1208
00:44:29,212 --> 00:44:31,255
I'm not paying for the Catholic
Church's lawsuits, man.

1209
00:44:31,255 --> 00:44:32,882
I need that money
to invest in Trout Plus.

1210
00:44:32,882 --> 00:44:34,217
MARTIN: That's just
something you want. -Guys.

1211
00:44:34,217 --> 00:44:35,426
I'm talking about shit
that we need.

1212
00:44:35,426 --> 00:44:36,677
What are you talking about?

1213
00:44:36,677 --> 00:44:37,804
- Listen to yourself.
- Oh, my God.

1214
00:44:37,804 --> 00:44:39,722
- G-Guys, guys, guys.
- What?

1215
00:44:39,722 --> 00:44:42,016
Fucking... the fucking treasure
is gone, dude.

1216
00:44:42,767 --> 00:44:44,560
Oh, shit.

1217
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,187
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, fuck.

1218
00:44:46,187 --> 00:44:47,730
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Oh, my God.

1219
00:44:47,730 --> 00:44:48,564
- Ben, John, come on.
- Fuck. Come on.

1220
00:44:48,564 --> 00:44:49,899
I got it! Lisa!

1221
00:44:49,899 --> 00:44:51,150
No! Give me that!

1222
00:44:51,150 --> 00:44:53,236
- I got it! John, here!
- Hey!

1223
00:44:53,236 --> 00:44:55,029
BEN:
Back away!

1224
00:44:55,947 --> 00:44:57,615
Hey, J. What's up,
you handsome bitch?

1225
00:44:57,615 --> 00:45:00,034
- Hmm-mm. No. Uh-uh.
- Okay.

1226
00:45:00,034 --> 00:45:01,411
TAYLOR: How did y'all get
the treasure before us?

1227
00:45:01,411 --> 00:45:03,913
- Give me that shit.
- Or what, park ranger?

1228
00:45:03,913 --> 00:45:06,249
- Gonna throw us in tree jail?
- (Ben and Martin laughing)

1229
00:45:06,249 --> 00:45:08,167
- (gasping)
- TAYLOR: Oh, I got it, Lisa!

1230
00:45:08,167 --> 00:45:09,836
- Come on! Get in the cart!
- Dude! Dude, you okay?

1231
00:45:09,836 --> 00:45:11,295
(raspy):
Ah! What the fuck!

1232
00:45:11,295 --> 00:45:12,547
Go! Go! Shit!

1233
00:45:12,547 --> 00:45:13,673
(Lisa whimpering)

1234
00:45:13,673 --> 00:45:15,758
(raspy):
You two are evil!

1235
00:45:15,758 --> 00:45:17,593
- Great. Now he's mad at me.
- No! Back up!

1236
00:45:17,593 --> 00:45:19,053
(groans)

1237
00:45:19,053 --> 00:45:20,471
(raspy): Why did you keep
going for the throat?

1238
00:45:20,471 --> 00:45:22,014
It's the quickest way
to disable an attacker.

1239
00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:23,307
- Grab the bust!
- Give me the wheel.

1240
00:45:23,307 --> 00:45:25,435
- LISA: No!
- TAYLOR: Get away! Get off!

1241
00:45:25,435 --> 00:45:27,186
(grunting)

1242
00:45:29,522 --> 00:45:30,732
Where is it? Where is it?

1243
00:45:30,732 --> 00:45:32,442
(panting):
Oh, shit.

1244
00:45:32,442 --> 00:45:34,026
Hey. Never got your number.

1245
00:45:34,026 --> 00:45:35,611
Why would I give you my number?

1246
00:45:35,611 --> 00:45:38,030
You left me tied up in the
woods and stole all my shit.

1247
00:45:38,030 --> 00:45:39,365
That was Taylor's idea.

1248
00:45:39,365 --> 00:45:40,825
JOHN: Oh, so you do
whatever you told?

1249
00:45:40,825 --> 00:45:42,118
You know what, Lisa?

1250
00:45:42,118 --> 00:45:43,828
The other night
meant a lot to me.

1251
00:45:43,828 --> 00:45:45,705
- And you fucked me.
- I didn't fuck you.

1252
00:45:45,705 --> 00:45:47,290
Maybe I would've
if the tent was bigger.

1253
00:45:47,290 --> 00:45:48,791
- What are you talking about?
- I said get a bigger tent!

1254
00:45:48,791 --> 00:45:51,044
Lisa! I got the treasure!
I got the...!

1255
00:45:51,044 --> 00:45:53,296
- (gasps)
- Oh, my God.

1256
00:45:53,296 --> 00:45:54,922
(raspy): What the fuck?
You just hit a woman!

1257
00:45:54,922 --> 00:45:57,383
I-I apologize for him.
I, for one, would nev...

1258
00:45:57,383 --> 00:46:01,304
- Oh, oh! Oh, my God! Hypocrite!
- Okay, so I hit one woman.

1259
00:46:01,304 --> 00:46:02,722
That's not, in the grand sch...

1260
00:46:02,722 --> 00:46:03,973
(retching)

1261
00:46:03,973 --> 00:46:05,349
Oh, my... Ew!

1262
00:46:05,349 --> 00:46:06,559
- We shouldn't be talking.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.

1263
00:46:06,559 --> 00:46:08,186
I-I... I'm sorry.

1264
00:46:08,186 --> 00:46:10,396
I know I stole from you, but I
was doing it for my friend.

1265
00:46:10,396 --> 00:46:12,148
- I really like you.
- No, you don't.

1266
00:46:12,148 --> 00:46:13,608
I knew it was
too good to be true.

1267
00:46:13,608 --> 00:46:15,318
I really do.

1268
00:46:15,318 --> 00:46:16,861
- Are you being serious?
- Yes.

1269
00:46:16,861 --> 00:46:18,237
- You swear?
- Yeah.

1270
00:46:18,237 --> 00:46:20,114
- You're not lying to me?
- I'm not lying to you.

1271
00:46:20,114 --> 00:46:21,866
- Just to trick me again?
- I'm being more real than ever.

1272
00:46:21,866 --> 00:46:23,493
I really like you.

1273
00:46:23,493 --> 00:46:24,827
What's your favorite bagel?

1274
00:46:24,827 --> 00:46:25,995
Everything bagel
with the stuff shaken off.

1275
00:46:25,995 --> 00:46:27,413
Oh, God, I can't fight it.

1276
00:46:27,413 --> 00:46:29,332
- You're perfect, girl.
- Oh, you're perfect, too.

1277
00:46:29,332 --> 00:46:31,542
MARTIN:
Where is it? Where'd it go?

1278
00:46:32,502 --> 00:46:35,129
(laughing)

1279
00:46:36,547 --> 00:46:37,924
Yo, guys.

1280
00:46:42,428 --> 00:46:44,013
(distorted grunting)

1281
00:46:49,060 --> 00:46:50,353
(engine revving)

1282
00:46:50,353 --> 00:46:52,021
- Ben?
- Hey.

1283
00:46:52,021 --> 00:46:54,107
Were you about to leave
without us? -Hmm?

1284
00:46:54,107 --> 00:46:56,401
- Jesus Christ, man.
- Dude, get-get in.

1285
00:46:56,401 --> 00:46:58,444
You were gonna leave
without us. -I got the thing.

1286
00:46:58,444 --> 00:46:59,904
- John, let's go!
- John, come on, let's go!

1287
00:46:59,904 --> 00:47:01,280
Just one sec.

1288
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,074
Lisa, what the fuck
are you doing?

1289
00:47:03,074 --> 00:47:05,201
John, we're gonna abandon you
if you don't come, man.

1290
00:47:05,201 --> 00:47:06,744
- What?
- (Lisa yelps)

1291
00:47:06,744 --> 00:47:08,371
JOHN:
Sorry.

1292
00:47:08,371 --> 00:47:10,164
Oh, oh, dude, I dropped her.
God, I dropped her. -John?

1293
00:47:10,164 --> 00:47:11,707
- Dudes, I dropped her.
- TAYLOR: What the hell, Lisa?

1294
00:47:11,707 --> 00:47:13,042
- Are you okay?
- You in? -Yeah.

1295
00:47:13,042 --> 00:47:14,585
Maybe he's telling them
to come back?

1296
00:47:15,545 --> 00:47:17,171
Sorry!

1297
00:47:17,171 --> 00:47:20,675
Man, Lisa, see what the fuck...
you see what you did?

1298
00:47:22,468 --> 00:47:23,886
That was insane.

1299
00:47:23,886 --> 00:47:26,305
I hope Lisa's not mad
that I stole her cart.

1300
00:47:27,306 --> 00:47:29,559
Hey, you guys haven't talked
in like 45 minutes.

1301
00:47:29,559 --> 00:47:31,352
What's going on?

1302
00:47:31,352 --> 00:47:34,439
- Want to tell him what you did?
- I'm not talking about it, man.

1303
00:47:34,439 --> 00:47:37,608
Can we just focus
on getting home, please?

1304
00:47:39,026 --> 00:47:41,279
(engine stops)

1305
00:47:43,823 --> 00:47:45,908
(all sigh)

1306
00:47:45,908 --> 00:47:48,202
NARRATOR:
<i>So Ben, John and the third guy</i>

1307
00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:51,581
<i>continued their long journey
home on foot,</i>

1308
00:47:51,581 --> 00:47:54,250
<i>lost, tired and starving.</i>

1309
00:47:54,250 --> 00:47:56,961
Hey, how good does, uh,
taking a bath

1310
00:47:56,961 --> 00:47:58,963
and a big plate of pasta fazool
sound right now?

1311
00:47:58,963 --> 00:48:01,090
- JOHN: Will you shut up, man?
- I'm sorry.

1312
00:48:01,090 --> 00:48:02,759
Stranded out here,
and I'm starving.

1313
00:48:02,759 --> 00:48:04,052
Yeah, so am I, dude.

1314
00:48:04,052 --> 00:48:05,845
Of course I want pasta fazool.

1315
00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:08,181
- Goddamn it.
- Guys.

1316
00:48:09,015 --> 00:48:10,933
(gasps)

1317
00:48:10,933 --> 00:48:13,561
My last smoochie.

1318
00:48:15,855 --> 00:48:17,315
- Oh, my God.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.

1319
00:48:17,315 --> 00:48:19,025
If it is the smoochie
you'd like,

1320
00:48:19,025 --> 00:48:21,152
confess one sin.

1321
00:48:21,152 --> 00:48:23,696
- (John and Ben sigh)
- (bell tolls)

1322
00:48:25,907 --> 00:48:28,034
(animal howling in distance)

1323
00:48:30,161 --> 00:48:31,537
One time, I jerked off
at my grandma's house.

1324
00:48:31,537 --> 00:48:34,332
- Bingo. Was she home?
- Yep. I was very ashamed.

1325
00:48:39,670 --> 00:48:42,298
- Thank you.
- What about you, Benjamin?

1326
00:48:42,298 --> 00:48:44,509
I would love
a little bit of smoochie.

1327
00:48:44,509 --> 00:48:46,511
That's strange.

1328
00:48:46,511 --> 00:48:48,304
Because earlier,

1329
00:48:48,304 --> 00:48:50,431
I thought you said
they look like little turds.

1330
00:48:50,431 --> 00:48:53,309
And now they're
your favorite fucking food?

1331
00:48:53,309 --> 00:48:54,352
Let's not.

1332
00:48:54,352 --> 00:48:56,145
I want you to confess
that earlier

1333
00:48:56,145 --> 00:48:58,272
you were gonna abandon us.

1334
00:48:58,272 --> 00:48:59,982
What?

1335
00:48:59,982 --> 00:49:01,609
When? What are you talking
about? -No, I...

1336
00:49:01,609 --> 00:49:04,153
Earlier, in the cart, you were
gonna drive away without us.

1337
00:49:04,153 --> 00:49:05,488
JOHN:
Are you being serious? Huh?

1338
00:49:05,488 --> 00:49:07,657
- You did that?
- It actually happened.

1339
00:49:07,657 --> 00:49:09,409
I thought about it for
a second, but in my defense,

1340
00:49:09,409 --> 00:49:10,868
I was only thinking
about leaving

1341
00:49:10,868 --> 00:49:12,161
and having all
the treasure to myself.

1342
00:49:12,161 --> 00:49:13,663
Everyone's had
that thought before,

1343
00:49:13,663 --> 00:49:14,997
and I almost acted on it.

1344
00:49:14,997 --> 00:49:17,250
I've never had
that thought, man. Fuck.

1345
00:49:17,250 --> 00:49:18,543
BEN:
But I didn't. You know why?

1346
00:49:18,543 --> 00:49:19,836
Because of the kindness
in my heart

1347
00:49:19,836 --> 00:49:21,379
and because you saw me.

1348
00:49:21,379 --> 00:49:22,922
I wish we didn't come up here
and find the treasure.

1349
00:49:22,922 --> 00:49:24,215
- What?
- Whatever. Just give me some,

1350
00:49:24,215 --> 00:49:25,675
and then we'll forget
all of this.

1351
00:49:25,675 --> 00:49:27,844
You know what?
Now nobody gets any smoochie,

1352
00:49:27,844 --> 00:49:29,345
- you fucking psycho.
- No! -No! Mart!

1353
00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:31,180
God, Martin, I'm gonna
kill you! -Guys! Guys!

1354
00:49:31,180 --> 00:49:33,474
- Guys! Guys!
- I'm gonna kill you.

1355
00:49:36,894 --> 00:49:38,146
Wh-What was that?

1356
00:49:39,397 --> 00:49:41,524
(gasping)

1357
00:49:41,524 --> 00:49:43,609
♪ ♪

1358
00:50:03,629 --> 00:50:05,715
♪ ♪

1359
00:50:07,300 --> 00:50:10,511
(rhythmic, percussive music
playing)

1360
00:50:16,017 --> 00:50:18,311
What is this place?

1361
00:50:19,353 --> 00:50:21,522
- MAN (over speaker): Intruders!
- (music stops)

1362
00:50:26,736 --> 00:50:28,613
- Maybe we should head-head out.
- Yeah, let's...

1363
00:50:28,613 --> 00:50:30,364
- Yeah, sorry.
- Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

1364
00:50:30,364 --> 00:50:32,742
- Sorry.
- A show. Let's stay, then.

1365
00:50:32,742 --> 00:50:34,327
Let's stay.

1366
00:50:34,327 --> 00:50:36,621
(over speaker): How dare you
interrupt our sacred dance.

1367
00:50:36,621 --> 00:50:38,372
How dare you!

1368
00:50:38,372 --> 00:50:40,249
Shit.

1369
00:50:40,249 --> 00:50:42,418
(over speaker):
Miles away from civilization,

1370
00:50:42,418 --> 00:50:44,754
no cell phone service,

1371
00:50:44,754 --> 00:50:46,923
no way to call for help.

1372
00:50:46,923 --> 00:50:49,884
Now, tell me,
why am I joined today

1373
00:50:49,884 --> 00:50:52,553
by you three gorgeous girls?

1374
00:50:52,553 --> 00:50:54,639
Oh, us?

1375
00:50:54,639 --> 00:50:56,099
- No, no.
- No.

1376
00:50:56,099 --> 00:50:57,683
Um, we're guys.

1377
00:50:57,683 --> 00:50:59,394
- (over speaker): Oh. Sorry.
- JOHN: We're dudes.

1378
00:50:59,394 --> 00:51:00,937
- It's all right.
- (chuckles)

1379
00:51:00,937 --> 00:51:03,106
(over speaker): Little hard
to see out of my new,

1380
00:51:03,106 --> 00:51:05,108
awesome ceremonial head.

1381
00:51:05,108 --> 00:51:07,276
Regardless...

1382
00:51:07,276 --> 00:51:11,781
you've stumbled upon our home,
and it begs the question:

1383
00:51:11,781 --> 00:51:15,993
Why are we joined today
by five handsome Black men?

1384
00:51:15,993 --> 00:51:18,454
- We're, uh...
- We're-we're, uh...

1385
00:51:18,454 --> 00:51:19,956
MARTIN:
We're not Black.

1386
00:51:19,956 --> 00:51:21,749
- What?
- BEN: We're just white.

1387
00:51:21,749 --> 00:51:23,334
We're not Black.

1388
00:51:23,334 --> 00:51:27,880
Oh, oh, sorry. I can't fucking
see or hear in this thing.

1389
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:29,257
Jesus.

1390
00:51:29,257 --> 00:51:31,592
So, what's a Chinese family like...

1391
00:51:31,592 --> 00:51:33,594
- Ah, man. -Stop guessing.
- Damn, dude.

1392
00:51:33,594 --> 00:51:35,596
I think his head
is too fucked up. -Yeah.

1393
00:51:35,596 --> 00:51:38,725
God, it's like the most hot
I've ever felt in my whole life.

1394
00:51:38,725 --> 00:51:40,226
Just take the fucking
head off, man?

1395
00:51:40,226 --> 00:51:41,310
Walk normal.

1396
00:51:41,310 --> 00:51:43,020
Oh, God, it's too hot!

1397
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:44,355
(gasps) Tricia!

1398
00:51:44,355 --> 00:51:45,982
Okay, Tricia, Tricia.

1399
00:51:45,982 --> 00:51:47,650
Yeah, Deetch. -I thought we
talked about holes in this.

1400
00:51:47,650 --> 00:51:49,235
- Yeah, holes in the face?
- Yeah. What the fuck?

1401
00:51:49,235 --> 00:51:51,696
I can't keep doing this.

1402
00:51:52,238 --> 00:51:53,531
JOHN (echoing):
<i>Deetch Nordwind.</i>

1403
00:51:53,531 --> 00:51:55,366
<i>The treasure
Deetch was after...</i>

1404
00:51:55,366 --> 00:51:56,826
TRICIA:
Yeah, I'll figure it out.

1405
00:51:56,826 --> 00:52:00,121
Thank you. Love you so much.
(chuckles, sighs)

1406
00:52:00,121 --> 00:52:01,414
Whoa.

1407
00:52:01,414 --> 00:52:04,959
Hi. Wow, you look so sad.

1408
00:52:04,959 --> 00:52:06,669
Disgusting.

1409
00:52:06,669 --> 00:52:08,171
Come on.

1410
00:52:08,171 --> 00:52:09,839
Let's change that.

1411
00:52:09,839 --> 00:52:12,216
(dance music playing)

1412
00:52:12,216 --> 00:52:14,218
- What are we doing here, man?
- I don't know.

1413
00:52:14,218 --> 00:52:16,345
- This is a cult, right?
- It's absolutely a cult.

1414
00:52:16,345 --> 00:52:18,264
Dude, I was just out there.
I think this is a cult.

1415
00:52:18,264 --> 00:52:19,682
That's what I was just saying.

1416
00:52:19,682 --> 00:52:21,309
This sucks, dude.
I hate wearing these clothes.

1417
00:52:21,309 --> 00:52:22,643
- I kind of like them.
- Really?

1418
00:52:22,643 --> 00:52:24,395
'Cause you look like
a bisexual mechanic.

1419
00:52:24,395 --> 00:52:26,898
Well, fuck you, man.
You look like a gumdrop farmer.

1420
00:52:26,898 --> 00:52:28,357
Who cares how we look?

1421
00:52:28,357 --> 00:52:30,151
I haven't had food in 48 hours.

1422
00:52:30,151 --> 00:52:31,444
The guy in the head is, like,

1423
00:52:31,444 --> 00:52:32,570
the original treasure hunter, right?

1424
00:52:32,570 --> 00:52:33,863
- Yeah.
- I mean, this feels like

1425
00:52:33,863 --> 00:52:35,239
the worst place we could be.

1426
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,200
I know, I know, but that
was like ten years ago.

1427
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,451
Okay? I think we're okay.

1428
00:52:38,451 --> 00:52:39,994
And the treasure's safe.
I just hid it.

1429
00:52:39,994 --> 00:52:40,995
What do you mean? Where?

1430
00:52:40,995 --> 00:52:42,371
- What?
- You hid it?

1431
00:52:42,371 --> 00:52:44,373
You hid it?
What are you talking about?

1432
00:52:44,373 --> 00:52:46,167
We should have eyes on Marge
at all times.

1433
00:52:46,167 --> 00:52:47,627
You know what?
No, I am not even

1434
00:52:47,627 --> 00:52:49,504
entertaining you
yelling at me right now.

1435
00:52:49,504 --> 00:52:52,131
Martin, you just threw away
your last smoochie.

1436
00:52:52,131 --> 00:52:53,674
And, Ben, you almost
left us in the woods

1437
00:52:53,674 --> 00:52:55,676
so you could take Marge
for yourself.

1438
00:52:55,676 --> 00:52:57,970
I am in charge.
I am de captain now.

1439
00:52:57,970 --> 00:52:59,055
Don't quote <i>Captain Phillips.</i>

1440
00:52:59,055 --> 00:53:00,098
Don't do <i>Captain Phillips.</i>

1441
00:53:00,098 --> 00:53:01,391
Listen to me.

1442
00:53:01,391 --> 00:53:03,226
We're gonna go out there,
put a smile on

1443
00:53:03,226 --> 00:53:05,645
and eat their food,
'cause we need it.

1444
00:53:06,604 --> 00:53:07,814
Okay.

1445
00:53:07,814 --> 00:53:09,649
(quiet chatter)

1446
00:53:12,944 --> 00:53:14,946
Don't love that.

1447
00:53:14,946 --> 00:53:16,239
Thank you so much, everyone,

1448
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:17,657
for occasioning
this dinner tonight

1449
00:53:17,657 --> 00:53:21,327
to welcome our three
new friends.

1450
00:53:22,245 --> 00:53:25,998
It's been many years
since I sought out

1451
00:53:25,998 --> 00:53:27,792
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.

1452
00:53:27,792 --> 00:53:29,919
Over the years,
I've been joined by many

1453
00:53:29,919 --> 00:53:32,422
wayward travelers, dreamers,

1454
00:53:32,422 --> 00:53:35,425
gym teachers who got too close
to their students.

1455
00:53:35,425 --> 00:53:37,093
(chuckles) Guilty.

1456
00:53:37,093 --> 00:53:39,053
But, uh, in my defense,
she was...

1457
00:53:39,053 --> 00:53:40,346
No, no, no.

1458
00:53:40,346 --> 00:53:42,640
- We live in harmony...
- What?

1459
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,934
...away from
the civilized world,

1460
00:53:44,934 --> 00:53:47,812
but when we do need to go
on supply runs into town,

1461
00:53:47,812 --> 00:53:51,107
we put on our skin masks
to seamlessly blend in.

1462
00:53:51,107 --> 00:53:52,984
MARTIN:
Jesus Christ.

1463
00:53:52,984 --> 00:53:54,277
Holy fucking shit, man.

1464
00:53:54,277 --> 00:53:55,486
I feel like that's
way more noticeable.

1465
00:53:55,486 --> 00:53:57,029
JOHN:
Yeah, definitely.

1466
00:53:57,029 --> 00:53:58,948
- No offense. It's okay.
- I'm sorry. You look good.

1467
00:53:58,948 --> 00:54:03,035
Most of us came here to find
the treasure of Foggy Mountain.

1468
00:54:03,035 --> 00:54:07,623
Eventually, we all realized
we don't need treasure.

1469
00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:12,545
All that matters is you, me,
each and every one of us,

1470
00:54:12,545 --> 00:54:18,217
which is why we go by
a simple guiding mantra here.

1471
00:54:18,217 --> 00:54:19,969
GROUP:
All lives matter.

1472
00:54:19,969 --> 00:54:21,679
(choking)

1473
00:54:21,679 --> 00:54:24,640
I'm sorry, did I... did we say
something to offend you or...

1474
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,477
When did you guys
leave society again?

1475
00:54:27,477 --> 00:54:29,270
12 years ago. What? Why?

1476
00:54:29,270 --> 00:54:31,439
- Ah. -Yeah. Yeah.
- Now it clicks.

1477
00:54:31,439 --> 00:54:33,775
Just, like,
now that's very racist.

1478
00:54:33,775 --> 00:54:35,318
Racist?

1479
00:54:35,318 --> 00:54:37,153
- Well, we're not trying to...
- No, no, I mean, totally...

1480
00:54:37,153 --> 00:54:38,446
All lives matter!

1481
00:54:38,446 --> 00:54:39,864
I feel like
he knows what it means.

1482
00:54:39,864 --> 00:54:41,491
- I feel like he knows.
- He definitely knows.

1483
00:54:41,491 --> 00:54:43,034
MAN: All lives matter.
I got a tattoo of it.

1484
00:54:43,034 --> 00:54:44,327
- JOHN: Ah, shit, dude.
- Oh, my God, dude. It's big.

1485
00:54:44,327 --> 00:54:45,661
Nobody else get that.

1486
00:54:45,661 --> 00:54:47,705
Regardless, we all know that

1487
00:54:47,705 --> 00:54:51,209
no one will ever find
that treasure.

1488
00:54:51,209 --> 00:54:53,169
But even if I did,

1489
00:54:53,169 --> 00:54:57,632
I would take
that monument to greed,

1490
00:54:57,632 --> 00:55:02,345
and I swear to God I would
destroy it in a big fire

1491
00:55:02,345 --> 00:55:04,680
without so much
as batting an eye!

1492
00:55:07,058 --> 00:55:08,476
Santé!

1493
00:55:08,476 --> 00:55:10,728
- GROUP: Santé!
- Shit.

1494
00:55:11,938 --> 00:55:14,065
I wish I didn't hide it
next to his chair.

1495
00:55:14,065 --> 00:55:16,567
- What'd you say?
- I hid it next to his chair.

1496
00:55:16,567 --> 00:55:18,528
BEN:
On his perch?

1497
00:55:18,528 --> 00:55:19,862
Why would you hide it there?

1498
00:55:19,862 --> 00:55:21,614
- I don't know.
- Are you kidding me?

1499
00:55:21,614 --> 00:55:23,032
You're such a fucking idiot, man.

1500
00:55:23,032 --> 00:55:26,411
Deetch, I found some visitors.

1501
00:55:30,790 --> 00:55:32,542
You put it under
his fucking chair, man?

1502
00:55:32,542 --> 00:55:33,876
What was I supposed to do?

1503
00:55:33,876 --> 00:55:35,503
Carry around a tote bag
all night

1504
00:55:35,503 --> 00:55:37,380
like I'm at some fucking
farmers market?

1505
00:55:37,380 --> 00:55:38,923
The problem was the tote bag?

1506
00:55:38,923 --> 00:55:40,550
I'm sorry, okay?

1507
00:55:40,550 --> 00:55:42,427
I guess I wasn't thinking
and I just shoved it somewhere.

1508
00:55:42,427 --> 00:55:44,053
Well, we got to get it back,
all right?

1509
00:55:44,053 --> 00:55:45,888
Taylor's probably out there
looking for it right now.

1510
00:55:45,888 --> 00:55:48,433
Did you see my three
skinny white friends

1511
00:55:48,433 --> 00:55:50,059
walking around with a bag?

1512
00:55:50,059 --> 00:55:51,310
Yeah, man, well, so is Lisa.

1513
00:55:51,310 --> 00:55:52,770
No way. Not Lisa, dude.

1514
00:55:52,770 --> 00:55:54,522
She's completely heartbroken
right now.

1515
00:55:54,522 --> 00:55:57,400
ALL:
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!

1516
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,985
Why don't we just
go grab it right now?

1517
00:55:58,985 --> 00:56:01,529
It's not like Deetch is sitting
on his throne all night.

1518
00:56:02,780 --> 00:56:05,575
BEN: There's a million people
out there partying, dude!

1519
00:56:05,575 --> 00:56:07,034
I can't believe
you were so stupid!

1520
00:56:07,034 --> 00:56:08,494
(exclaims)

1521
00:56:08,494 --> 00:56:10,413
- You want to get physical?
- Yeah, maybe I do.

1522
00:56:10,413 --> 00:56:13,082
- Hey! Okay.
- What are you doing?

1523
00:56:13,082 --> 00:56:14,584
You want to fucking
play that game? -(crackling)

1524
00:56:14,584 --> 00:56:16,294
Oh, my God!
Why do you have that?

1525
00:56:16,294 --> 00:56:18,463
For self-defense.
I carry a lot of cash.

1526
00:56:18,463 --> 00:56:20,423
I can't get approved
for a debit card.

1527
00:56:20,423 --> 00:56:21,591
Did you say "debit card"?

1528
00:56:21,591 --> 00:56:22,925
- Okay.
- What?

1529
00:56:22,925 --> 00:56:24,552
You didn't want
to whip that thing out

1530
00:56:24,552 --> 00:56:25,887
when we were getting punched
in the throat?

1531
00:56:25,887 --> 00:56:27,680
You had that completely
under control.

1532
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:28,931
- We absolutely did not!
- No, we didn't!

1533
00:56:28,931 --> 00:56:30,308
Oh, Marge is driving
you guys crazy.

1534
00:56:30,308 --> 00:56:31,726
Our relationship
is falling apart.

1535
00:56:31,726 --> 00:56:34,771
If you don't start acting
like we normally do--

1536
00:56:34,771 --> 00:56:38,107
like regular friends, I guess--
you... I'm gonna...

1537
00:56:41,527 --> 00:56:43,446
Don't. Don't do that.
Don't do that.

1538
00:56:43,446 --> 00:56:44,697
- I don't want to do it.
- John.

1539
00:56:44,697 --> 00:56:46,157
- You don't have to do it.
- Oh, my God!

1540
00:56:46,157 --> 00:56:47,658
Ow, that hurt so much more
than I thought it would!

1541
00:56:47,658 --> 00:56:48,951
Why did you do it?

1542
00:56:48,951 --> 00:56:50,203
No other way
I can prove my point.

1543
00:56:50,203 --> 00:56:51,579
Yes, there are plenty of ways.

1544
00:56:51,579 --> 00:56:53,790
- (crackling)
- Oh, my God! -Oh, dude!

1545
00:56:53,790 --> 00:56:55,708
Ow, ow, ow! -I can't look
at this. Johnny, buddy...

1546
00:56:55,708 --> 00:56:57,251
(nasally voice):
I'm getting woozy, dude.

1547
00:56:57,251 --> 00:56:59,003
- Why are you talking like that?
- I'm getting woozy.

1548
00:56:59,003 --> 00:57:00,630
What the hell is going on?
John, can we just talk?

1549
00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:01,839
- Yeah.
- I feel like maybe you're...

1550
00:57:01,839 --> 00:57:04,300
- Oh, my God! Why?
- (gasping in pain)

1551
00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:06,886
I'm trying to teach you guys
a lesson... -Oh, my God.

1552
00:57:06,886 --> 00:57:08,721
...about friendship
and the power of friendship.

1553
00:57:08,721 --> 00:57:10,807
- (crackling)
- Oh, fuck me!

1554
00:57:10,807 --> 00:57:12,683
- I'm in middle school!
- What? What?

1555
00:57:12,683 --> 00:57:14,602
Y'all remember the good old
days of middle school?

1556
00:57:14,602 --> 00:57:16,396
- Middle school?
- Are you having a stroke?

1557
00:57:16,396 --> 00:57:17,814
We would hang out
like every day, dude.

1558
00:57:17,814 --> 00:57:19,565
It was amazing.
Except for those two months

1559
00:57:19,565 --> 00:57:20,942
where Ben thought he was
friends with T.J. Scardini.

1560
00:57:20,942 --> 00:57:22,527
I was friends
with T.J. Scardini.

1561
00:57:22,527 --> 00:57:24,612
(scoffs) Uh, you mean
you guys carpooled?

1562
00:57:24,612 --> 00:57:25,905
- Oh, fuck you!
- (crackling)

1563
00:57:25,905 --> 00:57:27,907
I was just as popular as him!

1564
00:57:27,907 --> 00:57:30,243
- BOTH: As T.J. Scardini?
- Yeah!

1565
00:57:30,243 --> 00:57:31,494
Dude was getting
his dick sucked

1566
00:57:31,494 --> 00:57:32,912
before we even knew
it was possible.

1567
00:57:32,912 --> 00:57:34,330
- Oh, you shut up!
- (crackling)

1568
00:57:34,330 --> 00:57:35,790
- Back up!
- (gasping in pain)

1569
00:57:35,790 --> 00:57:38,167
- What are you doing?
- Fuck! I like it!

1570
00:57:38,167 --> 00:57:39,544
It's starting to feel good!

1571
00:57:39,544 --> 00:57:41,212
Man, fuck this!

1572
00:57:41,212 --> 00:57:43,172
We got to focus up, all right?
What are we doing?

1573
00:57:43,172 --> 00:57:45,758
A-Any second now, they could
find Marge and destroy it.

1574
00:57:45,758 --> 00:57:48,052
Maybe they're not wrong
for wanting to do that, okay?

1575
00:57:48,052 --> 00:57:50,513
Maybe Deetch is right.
Maybe money isn't everything.

1576
00:57:50,513 --> 00:57:51,889
Of course
you would say that, man,

1577
00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:53,850
'cause you have nothing
to spend it on.

1578
00:57:53,850 --> 00:57:55,351
Yeah, sorry you don't have shit

1579
00:57:55,351 --> 00:57:56,644
waiting for you back home,
but we do.

1580
00:58:01,941 --> 00:58:04,360
Stop yelling at me
like I'm a fucking kid.

1581
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:05,820
I will go and get it.

1582
00:58:05,820 --> 00:58:07,363
It's not like they found it.

1583
00:58:07,363 --> 00:58:09,031
We found the treasure.

1584
00:58:09,031 --> 00:58:10,450
- Oh, my God! What?
- Oh, my God.

1585
00:58:10,450 --> 00:58:11,868
It was really easy to find.

1586
00:58:11,868 --> 00:58:13,619
Oh, shit. -No, no, no.
Where is it? Where is it?

1587
00:58:13,619 --> 00:58:15,288
Where is it? -It's getting
prepared for burning.

1588
00:58:15,288 --> 00:58:17,206
- Shit, shit, no!
- Oh, my God.

1589
00:58:17,206 --> 00:58:18,374
Goddamn it.

1590
00:58:18,374 --> 00:58:20,001
So it was you who brought it.

1591
00:58:20,001 --> 00:58:23,254
You will be rewarded at
the treasure burning ceremony.

1592
00:58:25,256 --> 00:58:27,216
(breathing heavily)

1593
00:58:27,216 --> 00:58:29,302
♪ ♪

1594
00:58:34,015 --> 00:58:36,225
(crowd cheering)

1595
00:58:37,018 --> 00:58:38,561
(flame whooshes)

1596
00:58:38,561 --> 00:58:41,230
Friends,
we've been given a gift--

1597
00:58:41,230 --> 00:58:45,902
the symbol of everything
we stand against--

1598
00:58:45,902 --> 00:58:49,197
and tonight we destroy
the bust of Marie Antoinette!

1599
00:58:49,197 --> 00:58:51,616
(cheering)

1600
00:58:52,450 --> 00:58:53,743
Burn!

1601
00:58:53,743 --> 00:58:56,162
And it's all thanks
to our new friend, John.

1602
00:58:56,162 --> 00:58:58,581
JOHN (over speaker): No, no,
you don't have to point me out.

1603
00:58:58,581 --> 00:58:59,999
- It's okay.
- DEETCH: Friends,

1604
00:58:59,999 --> 00:59:03,503
look upon this
ridiculous object and laugh.

1605
00:59:03,503 --> 00:59:05,296
- (laughs)
- Not literally.

1606
00:59:05,296 --> 00:59:09,550
To those as enlightened as us,
how much is it even worth?

1607
00:59:09,550 --> 00:59:11,469
A hundred million dollars!

1608
00:59:11,469 --> 00:59:13,930
(crowd murmuring)

1609
00:59:13,930 --> 00:59:16,933
DEETCH:
<i>A hundred million dollars.</i>

1610
00:59:16,933 --> 00:59:18,309
<i>Right.</i>

1611
00:59:18,309 --> 00:59:20,937
<i>I guess I haven't thought
of that in a while.</i>

1612
00:59:20,937 --> 00:59:24,899
<i>God, it's a lot of money.</i>

1613
00:59:30,780 --> 00:59:31,864
Shit's getting heavy, though.

1614
00:59:31,864 --> 00:59:33,616
DEETCH:
<i>Wait.</i>

1615
00:59:33,616 --> 00:59:36,119
<i>Is burning this insane?</i>

1616
00:59:36,119 --> 00:59:38,788
- MAN: Burn it!
- (crowd cheering)

1617
00:59:38,788 --> 00:59:41,290
(choir vocalizing)

1618
00:59:44,168 --> 00:59:47,505
CHOIR:
♪ Soulja Boy off in this, oh ♪

1619
00:59:47,505 --> 00:59:50,758
♪ Watch me crank it,
watch me roll ♪

1620
00:59:50,758 --> 00:59:53,720
♪ Watch me crank
that Soulja Boy ♪

1621
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,390
♪ Then Superman that, oh... ♪

1622
00:59:57,390 --> 00:59:59,892
- (whooshing)
- (crowd cheering)

1623
01:00:03,521 --> 01:00:05,773
BEN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1624
01:00:06,774 --> 01:00:08,484
Johnny Flames.

1625
01:00:08,484 --> 01:00:11,028
Great. Your boyfriend
just lost us a million dollars.

1626
01:00:11,028 --> 01:00:12,739
He probably feels bad.
He probably feels

1627
01:00:12,739 --> 01:00:13,948
- worse than we do.
- Shit, please. Do you realize

1628
01:00:13,948 --> 01:00:15,366
I've been doing all this
for us?

1629
01:00:15,366 --> 01:00:17,243
No. Stay here with your new
musty-ass friends.

1630
01:00:17,243 --> 01:00:18,703
I'm gone. I'm going home,
and don't you follow me. -Wait.

1631
01:00:18,703 --> 01:00:20,288
Well, fine.

1632
01:00:20,288 --> 01:00:22,999
I'm sick of doing whatever
you want to do anyway, so...

1633
01:00:22,999 --> 01:00:25,752
maybe I'm just gonna stay here
and think for myself

1634
01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:28,212
and join this cult.

1635
01:00:29,297 --> 01:00:31,382
Where-where is John?

1636
01:00:38,389 --> 01:00:40,349
How'd you do that, man?
How did you get that?

1637
01:00:40,349 --> 01:00:42,185
It's just mirrors, man.
It's always mirrors.

1638
01:00:42,185 --> 01:00:43,519
Let's go. Go.

1639
01:00:43,519 --> 01:00:45,813
♪ ♪

1640
01:00:47,648 --> 01:00:49,484
(grunting, panting heavily)

1641
01:00:49,484 --> 01:00:50,902
Oh, my God.

1642
01:00:50,902 --> 01:00:53,029
I always knew you were
an amazing magician, man.

1643
01:00:53,029 --> 01:00:54,989
- MARTIN: Goddamn.
- (laughs)

1644
01:00:58,409 --> 01:01:00,870
- What-what are you doing, man?
- What's up?

1645
01:01:01,662 --> 01:01:02,997
I'm staying.

1646
01:01:04,415 --> 01:01:05,750
What? (chuckles)

1647
01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:07,543
I'm staying here, man.

1648
01:01:07,543 --> 01:01:09,128
You guys were right.

1649
01:01:09,128 --> 01:01:11,297
I don't have fucking anything
waiting for me back home.

1650
01:01:11,297 --> 01:01:14,425
Oh, my God. -Oh, come on,
we-we didn't mean that.

1651
01:01:14,425 --> 01:01:15,760
No, you did mean it.

1652
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:17,053
Dude, it is
a hundred million dollars.

1653
01:01:17,053 --> 01:01:18,971
Okay? You can do
anything you want now.

1654
01:01:18,971 --> 01:01:20,223
Maybe we don't deserve
the treasure.

1655
01:01:20,223 --> 01:01:21,682
- Oh, my God.
- Why do we deserve it?

1656
01:01:21,682 --> 01:01:23,059
We haven't struggled.

1657
01:01:23,059 --> 01:01:24,394
What are you talking about?
I've struggled.

1658
01:01:24,394 --> 01:01:25,520
When have you struggled?

1659
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:26,646
I have anxiety.

1660
01:01:26,646 --> 01:01:27,980
Everybody has anxiety!

1661
01:01:27,980 --> 01:01:29,399
Well, I take pills for it,
you asshole!

1662
01:01:29,399 --> 01:01:31,025
Everyone...
everyone takes pills for it.

1663
01:01:31,025 --> 01:01:32,402
BEN:
No, they don't, man.

1664
01:01:32,402 --> 01:01:33,861
You guys don't get it.

1665
01:01:33,861 --> 01:01:35,988
Now that we have that money,
we're over

1666
01:01:35,988 --> 01:01:37,573
as soon as we leave
this mountain,

1667
01:01:37,573 --> 01:01:38,950
and I don't want
to deal with that.

1668
01:01:38,950 --> 01:01:40,868
Y-You just don't want to change.

1669
01:01:40,868 --> 01:01:42,745
You just want me to be
fucking Lawrence.

1670
01:01:42,745 --> 01:01:44,664
Lawrence was fun as shit.

1671
01:01:44,664 --> 01:01:45,998
I don't love our life, okay?

1672
01:01:45,998 --> 01:01:47,583
I don't want to wake up
in a shitty house

1673
01:01:47,583 --> 01:01:48,793
I share with two other people.

1674
01:01:48,793 --> 01:01:50,586
And I want to be honest,
you guys don't

1675
01:01:50,586 --> 01:01:52,714
- put on enough deodorant.
- What?

1676
01:01:52,714 --> 01:01:54,298
Take that back, man.

1677
01:01:54,298 --> 01:01:55,925
You guys have smelled
a little bit bad

1678
01:01:55,925 --> 01:01:57,593
- for as long as I've known you.
- Whatever, Mart.

1679
01:01:57,593 --> 01:01:59,762
You're obsessed with this girl
that you're lying to.

1680
01:01:59,762 --> 01:02:01,848
And you want to have sex
with your own father.

1681
01:02:01,848 --> 01:02:03,099
Better than being friends
with you.

1682
01:02:03,099 --> 01:02:04,976
I would rather
have sex with my dad

1683
01:02:04,976 --> 01:02:07,520
and suck on his nuts
than be friends with you.

1684
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,105
- There you go.
- That sounds bad.

1685
01:02:09,105 --> 01:02:10,773
I get that that sounds bad,
and I take that back.

1686
01:02:10,773 --> 01:02:12,150
- All right.
- MARTIN: Maybe you're right.

1687
01:02:12,150 --> 01:02:13,860
Maybe this is just making
all of us unhappy.

1688
01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:15,695
Yeah, no.
That's what I'm saying.

1689
01:02:15,695 --> 01:02:17,864
♪ ♪

1690
01:02:24,328 --> 01:02:28,916
You guys realize how rare it is
to find great friends?

1691
01:02:34,380 --> 01:02:36,299
Asshole.

1692
01:02:41,304 --> 01:02:45,224
NARRATOR:
<i>So John went back to the cult.</i>

1693
01:02:46,350 --> 01:02:49,645
<i>And Lisa,
also lost without her friend,</i>

1694
01:02:49,645 --> 01:02:51,647
<i>stayed, too.</i>

1695
01:02:51,647 --> 01:02:56,235
<i>Ben and Martin made it home
and began searching for someone</i>

1696
01:02:56,235 --> 01:03:00,073
<i>rich and tasteless enough
to buy their treasure.</i>

1697
01:03:00,073 --> 01:03:02,116
<i>With John no longer
in their lives,</i>

1698
01:03:02,116 --> 01:03:04,202
<i>they became the versions
of themselves</i>

1699
01:03:04,202 --> 01:03:06,871
<i>they always wanted to be.</i>

1700
01:03:10,416 --> 01:03:13,336
("And Now There's No You"
playing)

1701
01:03:13,336 --> 01:03:15,380
(quiet chatter)

1702
01:03:20,676 --> 01:03:22,178
What can I get you?

1703
01:03:22,178 --> 01:03:25,014
I'll do the sausage plate
with a black coffee

1704
01:03:25,014 --> 01:03:27,016
and a double whiskey, neat.

1705
01:03:27,016 --> 01:03:29,602
- All right.
- Thanks, darling.

1706
01:03:29,602 --> 01:03:32,897
♪ There's a moon in the sky ♪

1707
01:03:32,897 --> 01:03:34,607
(door opens, bell jingles)

1708
01:03:34,607 --> 01:03:40,071
♪ There are stars way up high ♪

1709
01:03:40,071 --> 01:03:44,951
♪ And I hear a whippoorwill... ♪

1710
01:03:44,951 --> 01:03:47,120
Have a seat.

1711
01:03:49,163 --> 01:03:50,623
How have you been?

1712
01:03:50,623 --> 01:03:52,208
I've been good as shit, man.

1713
01:03:52,208 --> 01:03:55,002
Yeah. Uh, I don't know
if you heard, but next week,

1714
01:03:55,002 --> 01:03:57,338
I am officially
taking over Trout Plus.

1715
01:03:57,338 --> 01:03:58,798
Hmm.

1716
01:03:58,798 --> 01:04:00,341
Noticed your hair is...

1717
01:04:00,341 --> 01:04:03,010
Jesus style.
They're extensions.

1718
01:04:03,010 --> 01:04:04,554
- Yeah. Amy loves it.
- It's cool, man.

1719
01:04:04,554 --> 01:04:07,890
You look like a... a born-again
member of Metallica.

1720
01:04:07,890 --> 01:04:10,727
You look like if Reba
was on <i>Undercover Boss.</i>

1721
01:04:10,727 --> 01:04:12,145
So I wouldn't be
throwing stones

1722
01:04:12,145 --> 01:04:14,397
from that glass house of yours.

1723
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,066
Look, as you know,
the sale is tonight,

1724
01:04:17,066 --> 01:04:18,901
so I just wanted to get
on the same page

1725
01:04:18,901 --> 01:04:20,570
about some of
the financials here.

1726
01:04:20,570 --> 01:04:22,447
(indistinct chatter outside)

1727
01:04:22,447 --> 01:04:24,115
Oh, my God, Ben.

1728
01:04:25,116 --> 01:04:26,576
What the...

1729
01:04:26,576 --> 01:04:28,870
- Are those the, uh...
- The cult people.

1730
01:04:28,870 --> 01:04:30,872
Okay. Oh, someone saw us.

1731
01:04:30,872 --> 01:04:32,165
- Oh, my God.
- Somebody saw...

1732
01:04:32,165 --> 01:04:33,750
- Oh, oh. He's coming over here.
- Oh.

1733
01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:35,209
Head down, head down,
head down. -Is he still coming?

1734
01:04:35,209 --> 01:04:37,962
- He's right there.
- Oh, my God.

1735
01:04:39,213 --> 01:04:41,674
BEN: Oh, he's coming in.
He's coming in.

1736
01:04:41,674 --> 01:04:43,217
- MARTIN: Shoot.
- BEN: Ooh.

1737
01:04:52,310 --> 01:04:53,269
John?

1738
01:04:53,269 --> 01:04:54,395
Aah!

1739
01:04:54,395 --> 01:04:56,522
- Hey.
- JOHN: Crazy running into you.

1740
01:04:56,522 --> 01:04:58,483
I was just down here
picking up some gasoline.

1741
01:04:58,483 --> 01:05:00,068
You know how it is.

1742
01:05:00,068 --> 01:05:02,612
(chuckles)
You guys look amazing.

1743
01:05:02,612 --> 01:05:03,946
Thank you. Yeah.

1744
01:05:03,946 --> 01:05:05,490
You, uh... you look...

1745
01:05:05,490 --> 01:05:06,949
Yeah, thanks so much.

1746
01:05:06,949 --> 01:05:09,869
Just living up with the cult:
dancing, Molly.

1747
01:05:09,869 --> 01:05:11,496
(chuckling):
It's too much, man.

1748
01:05:11,496 --> 01:05:12,663
It's every day.

1749
01:05:12,663 --> 01:05:14,207
You do Molly every day?

1750
01:05:14,207 --> 01:05:16,125
Yeah. It's unsustainable.

1751
01:05:16,125 --> 01:05:18,294
(indistinct chatter outside)

1752
01:05:18,294 --> 01:05:20,546
- Are we good?
- Yep, yep.

1753
01:05:20,546 --> 01:05:22,340
- Just be cool.
- BEN: You're okay, though?

1754
01:05:22,340 --> 01:05:24,342
Me? No. Yes.

1755
01:05:24,342 --> 01:05:26,302
- How's Lisa been?
- Doesn't talk to me.

1756
01:05:26,302 --> 01:05:28,179
I don't remember
if I was mad at her

1757
01:05:28,179 --> 01:05:31,474
or she was mad at me,
but I kind of missed my window.

1758
01:05:31,474 --> 01:05:33,142
- Have you tried to leave?
- Every time I bring it up,

1759
01:05:33,142 --> 01:05:35,812
Deetch, like,
mentions my mom's address.

1760
01:05:35,812 --> 01:05:36,979
It's not a threat or anything.

1761
01:05:36,979 --> 01:05:38,231
I would just imagine
that he's saying

1762
01:05:38,231 --> 01:05:39,649
if I left, he'd kill my mom.

1763
01:05:39,649 --> 01:05:40,817
That sounds like a threat.

1764
01:05:40,817 --> 01:05:42,193
That's really scary.

1765
01:05:42,193 --> 01:05:44,195
Hey, did you guys ever, um...

1766
01:05:44,195 --> 01:05:46,155
did you guys ever sell Marge?

1767
01:05:46,155 --> 01:05:47,740
It's funny you should ask.

1768
01:05:47,740 --> 01:05:49,742
Uh, we're actually selling it
tonight at Trout Plus.

1769
01:05:49,742 --> 01:05:51,369
- Tonight?
- Took us a couple weeks,

1770
01:05:51,369 --> 01:05:53,913
but we found
a high-profile buyer.

1771
01:05:53,913 --> 01:05:55,540
That's fucking awesome.

1772
01:05:58,710 --> 01:06:00,503
You got to save me.

1773
01:06:03,047 --> 01:06:04,215
What did you say?

1774
01:06:04,215 --> 01:06:05,842
It's just, we're all grown-up.

1775
01:06:05,842 --> 01:06:07,552
It's so weird.

1776
01:06:07,552 --> 01:06:09,220
You got to save me.

1777
01:06:09,971 --> 01:06:11,180
- Save you?
- Dude.

1778
01:06:11,180 --> 01:06:12,974
They have white chocolate
pancakes here?

1779
01:06:12,974 --> 01:06:14,851
Look at those fucking guys outside.

1780
01:06:14,851 --> 01:06:16,352
MARTIN:
Oh, my God.

1781
01:06:16,352 --> 01:06:17,895
- JOHN: Everybody, be silent.
- Nope, nope, nope, nope.

1782
01:06:17,895 --> 01:06:21,023
Guys, I hope you're happy.
I really do.

1783
01:06:21,023 --> 01:06:23,609
I hope life's everything
you wanted it to be.

1784
01:06:23,609 --> 01:06:25,403
Save me if you can.

1785
01:06:25,403 --> 01:06:28,448
- I'll see you on the flip.
- (door opens, bell jingles)

1786
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,200
Hey, guys! I'm back.

1787
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,869
- Sorry about that.
- Get in the van!

1788
01:06:32,869 --> 01:06:34,495
- (man grunts)
- JOHN: Ow!

1789
01:06:34,495 --> 01:06:36,080
(engine starts)

1790
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:37,707
(vehicle departing)

1791
01:06:37,707 --> 01:06:39,375
Do you think he's okay?

1792
01:06:39,375 --> 01:06:41,085
He-he made his choice, okay?

1793
01:06:41,085 --> 01:06:42,587
Like, for the first time
in our lives,

1794
01:06:42,587 --> 01:06:45,339
we're the perfect versions
of ourselves.

1795
01:06:46,132 --> 01:06:47,133
Yeah, you're right.

1796
01:06:47,133 --> 01:06:48,843
See you tonight.

1797
01:06:48,843 --> 01:06:50,553
Sounds good.

1798
01:06:50,553 --> 01:06:52,263
- MAN: <i>Yes, hold the bike.
- (camera clicking)</i>

1799
01:06:52,263 --> 01:06:54,015
Yes. Good. Great.

1800
01:06:54,015 --> 01:06:55,099
All right, Ben,
we're gonna need

1801
01:06:55,099 --> 01:06:56,350
to be a little more sexier.

1802
01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:58,644
Yeah, that's the stuff.
Okay, yes.

1803
01:06:58,644 --> 01:07:00,063
My son.

1804
01:07:00,063 --> 01:07:02,273
Face of <i>Grills and Guns</i> magazine.

1805
01:07:02,273 --> 01:07:04,442
(chuckles)
Hey, Dylan, tilt up!

1806
01:07:04,442 --> 01:07:06,527
I can see the bags
under his eyes, dumbass!

1807
01:07:06,527 --> 01:07:07,737
Come on!

1808
01:07:07,737 --> 01:07:08,988
- Sorry.
- God.

1809
01:07:08,988 --> 01:07:10,323
What a piece of shit.

1810
01:07:10,323 --> 01:07:11,574
PHOTOGRAPHER:
Okay, give me sexier.

1811
01:07:11,574 --> 01:07:13,034
- Yeah, I want something sexy.
- Yeah.

1812
01:07:13,034 --> 01:07:14,744
There it is.

1813
01:07:14,744 --> 01:07:16,245
Now let's try one where you feel

1814
01:07:16,245 --> 01:07:18,539
extremely guilty
about something.

1815
01:07:18,539 --> 01:07:20,249
- Yeah, there we go.
- (Farley chuckling)

1816
01:07:20,249 --> 01:07:21,584
Did you guys hear that?

1817
01:07:21,584 --> 01:07:24,128
PHOTOGRAPHER:
Good. We love it. Okay.

1818
01:07:24,128 --> 01:07:25,588
That's fine.

1819
01:07:25,588 --> 01:07:27,382
- (engine starts)
- (people gasping)

1820
01:07:27,382 --> 01:07:29,217
Easy, son.
That's a floor model.

1821
01:07:29,217 --> 01:07:30,843
BEN:
Dad, this isn't me.

1822
01:07:30,843 --> 01:07:32,261
I mean, what am I wearing?

1823
01:07:32,261 --> 01:07:34,597
I look like the CEO
of LongHorn Steakhouse.

1824
01:07:34,597 --> 01:07:35,807
Dad, I'm sorry.

1825
01:07:35,807 --> 01:07:37,266
- I'll be back for the sale.
- (engine revs)

1826
01:07:37,266 --> 01:07:39,560
(indistinct chatter)

1827
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:40,770
Martin.

1828
01:07:40,770 --> 01:07:42,397
Hey, Martin.

1829
01:07:42,397 --> 01:07:44,524
I was just telling Father
that after the sale tonight

1830
01:07:44,524 --> 01:07:47,318
we'll be able to make a large
donation to the diocese.

1831
01:07:47,318 --> 01:07:49,946
That money will go a long way
in fighting our lawsuits.

1832
01:07:49,946 --> 01:07:51,239
AMY:
Of course.

1833
01:07:51,239 --> 01:07:53,908
Amy, the salad you made,
it's amazing.

1834
01:07:53,908 --> 01:07:55,243
AMY:
Oh, thank you.

1835
01:07:55,243 --> 01:07:56,619
I also brought dessert.

1836
01:07:56,619 --> 01:07:58,955
My famous smoochies.
I'll be right back.

1837
01:07:58,955 --> 01:08:00,039
WOMAN:
Oh, damn, here they come.

1838
01:08:00,039 --> 01:08:01,457
WOMAN 2:
They're so good.

1839
01:08:05,002 --> 01:08:06,170
What are you doing?

1840
01:08:06,170 --> 01:08:07,630
Oh, I'm allergic to walnuts.

1841
01:08:07,630 --> 01:08:08,965
Does Amy not know?

1842
01:08:08,965 --> 01:08:10,383
No, she thinks
I love this salad.

1843
01:08:10,383 --> 01:08:12,051
Fuck, you got to start
eating these, man.

1844
01:08:12,051 --> 01:08:14,303
Go, go, go! Hurry!

1845
01:08:14,303 --> 01:08:15,680
You got to go faster
than I'm going,

1846
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:17,557
or else the pile
just stays the same size.

1847
01:08:17,557 --> 01:08:21,436
I love Amy, but I am in a hell
of my own making.

1848
01:08:21,436 --> 01:08:23,688
- Do you guys hear a motorcycle?
- Oh, my God.

1849
01:08:23,688 --> 01:08:25,898
Alert the press.
This church is close to a road.

1850
01:08:25,898 --> 01:08:27,734
(motorcycle pulls up outside,
engine stops)

1851
01:08:27,734 --> 01:08:29,610
Don't laugh.
You're not my friend.

1852
01:08:29,610 --> 01:08:31,070
Martin!

1853
01:08:31,070 --> 01:08:32,989
(people gasping, murmuring)

1854
01:08:32,989 --> 01:08:35,324
Let's go save our friend.

1855
01:08:38,578 --> 01:08:40,872
- What's going on?
- MARTIN: Baby, I'm sorry.

1856
01:08:40,872 --> 01:08:42,582
I'll see you at the sale.

1857
01:08:42,582 --> 01:08:44,959
- Now, let's get some haircuts.
- (chuckles)

1858
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:47,503
What...

1859
01:08:47,503 --> 01:08:49,756
Oh, by the way, your weird
friend ate all my walnuts.

1860
01:08:49,756 --> 01:08:51,883
I tried to stop him.
I don't know what...

1861
01:08:51,883 --> 01:08:53,676
(dance music playing)

1862
01:08:53,676 --> 01:08:55,511
(crowd murmuring)

1863
01:08:57,221 --> 01:08:58,931
JOHN:
Test. Testing.

1864
01:08:58,931 --> 01:09:01,309
- (static crackling)
- (groans)

1865
01:09:01,309 --> 01:09:03,811
Why am I the one
that has to fix this head?

1866
01:09:03,811 --> 01:09:06,355
Um, just came to get my
flower crown. Have you seen it?

1867
01:09:06,355 --> 01:09:08,191
{\an8}You're looking right at it.

1868
01:09:08,191 --> 01:09:10,526
{\an8}Oh, didn't know
that one was mine.

1869
01:09:11,611 --> 01:09:14,155
Can we just talk
to each other, please?

1870
01:09:14,155 --> 01:09:15,531
We could've been talking.

1871
01:09:15,531 --> 01:09:17,158
We could've been hanging out
every day.

1872
01:09:17,158 --> 01:09:18,367
But whatever.

1873
01:09:18,367 --> 01:09:19,744
I'm gonna go see
my new friends.

1874
01:09:19,744 --> 01:09:21,454
Of course they love you.
You do whatever they say.

1875
01:09:21,454 --> 01:09:22,872
'Cause you're a follower.

1876
01:09:22,872 --> 01:09:24,207
Well, no one likes you,

1877
01:09:24,207 --> 01:09:25,750
because you're a bad friend.

1878
01:09:27,543 --> 01:09:30,546
Me being a bad friend--
that's rich.

1879
01:09:30,546 --> 01:09:32,048
If I'm such a bad friend...

1880
01:09:32,048 --> 01:09:34,759
(over speaker): why would I
set up a magic trick

1881
01:09:34,759 --> 01:09:37,136
to steal the treasure back
from Deetch

1882
01:09:37,136 --> 01:09:39,055
and give it to my friends?

1883
01:09:39,055 --> 01:09:40,723
And tonight, they're selling it

1884
01:09:40,723 --> 01:09:44,894
for $110 million
at Trout Plus on Abercorn.

1885
01:09:44,894 --> 01:09:47,063
Not the one that's on Mumford.

1886
01:09:47,063 --> 01:09:49,148
- The one that's on Abercorn.
- Okay.

1887
01:09:49,148 --> 01:09:52,276
JOHN (over speaker): God, it's
just nice to talk, you know?

1888
01:09:53,069 --> 01:09:55,446
No skin masks, no disguises.

1889
01:09:55,446 --> 01:09:57,740
Tonight, we show the world
exactly who we are.

1890
01:09:57,740 --> 01:09:59,492
Deetch, you don't
have to do this.

1891
01:09:59,492 --> 01:10:01,661
What would you get
out of destroying it?

1892
01:10:04,789 --> 01:10:07,166
It's a hundred million dollars.

1893
01:10:07,166 --> 01:10:10,586
I'm not gonna destroy it,
you stupid bitch.

1894
01:10:10,586 --> 01:10:12,255
- You are insane.
- Am I?

1895
01:10:12,255 --> 01:10:14,590
What would you have done
with the money?

1896
01:10:14,590 --> 01:10:16,592
I would've gone to London
with my two best friends.

1897
01:10:16,592 --> 01:10:20,430
You don't need a hundred
million dollars to do that.

1898
01:10:20,430 --> 01:10:23,099
Your friends just don't want
to go with you.

1899
01:10:23,099 --> 01:10:25,893
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't.

1900
01:10:25,893 --> 01:10:29,439
(over speaker): No!
There might be a bug in here!

1901
01:10:29,439 --> 01:10:31,774
- Gun it, Lisa.
- (engine revving)

1902
01:10:31,774 --> 01:10:33,359
JOHN (over speaker):
Lisa, don't go down with him.

1903
01:10:33,359 --> 01:10:35,153
He's a liar!
He wants to keep it!

1904
01:10:35,153 --> 01:10:37,697
- (engine revving loudly)
- I'm sorry, Lisa!

1905
01:10:37,697 --> 01:10:39,824
♪ ♪

1906
01:10:43,786 --> 01:10:46,539
- Here we come, Johnny boy!
- Here we come, man!

1907
01:10:48,207 --> 01:10:50,501
♪ ♪

1908
01:10:53,629 --> 01:10:56,340
- (busy chatter)
- FARLEY: Okay. Where's Ben?

1909
01:10:56,340 --> 01:10:57,884
Buyer's almost here.

1910
01:10:57,884 --> 01:11:00,970
Hey, and why are the
hors d'oeuvres not here yet?

1911
01:11:00,970 --> 01:11:02,930
And who the hell are you?

1912
01:11:02,930 --> 01:11:04,223
I'm the appraiser.

1913
01:11:04,223 --> 01:11:05,725
The buyer sent me in
from Sotheby's.

1914
01:11:05,725 --> 01:11:08,478
Yeah, well, your weird face
is ruining the vibe.

1915
01:11:08,478 --> 01:11:09,854
I'm trying to set a mood.

1916
01:11:09,854 --> 01:11:11,230
This is a big deal.

1917
01:11:11,230 --> 01:11:12,857
This guy's an A-lister.

1918
01:11:12,857 --> 01:11:15,151
(horn honking)

1919
01:11:15,151 --> 01:11:16,235
Oh, my God!

1920
01:11:16,235 --> 01:11:18,279
That's him! He's here! Mwah!

1921
01:11:18,279 --> 01:11:20,448
Everybody, the buyer's here!

1922
01:11:20,448 --> 01:11:23,076
Come on! Dylan, vacuum!

1923
01:11:23,076 --> 01:11:24,994
Get it out! Get it out now! Go!

1924
01:11:24,994 --> 01:11:26,162
Everybody on the line!

1925
01:11:26,162 --> 01:11:27,789
This is the real thing!

1926
01:11:27,789 --> 01:11:29,499
♪ ♪

1927
01:11:29,499 --> 01:11:31,751
♪ I'm so fly, I can't lie ♪

1928
01:11:31,751 --> 01:11:33,920
♪ When they see me,
that's that guy ♪

1929
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:36,381
♪ Like it's easy, I just ride,
wanna be me... ♪

1930
01:11:36,381 --> 01:11:39,008
AMY: Is that Dustin
from <i>Stranger Things?</i>

1931
01:11:39,008 --> 01:11:40,218
Yes, it is.

1932
01:11:40,218 --> 01:11:41,719
Gaten Matarazzo... (sighs)

1933
01:11:41,719 --> 01:11:43,346
- welcome to my store.
- Yeah, well, you can

1934
01:11:43,346 --> 01:11:44,347
just call me that
pretty motherfucker

1935
01:11:44,347 --> 01:11:45,473
from <i>Stranger Things.</i>

1936
01:11:45,473 --> 01:11:47,016
- (laughing): Oh.
- GATEN: Ha-ha.

1937
01:11:47,016 --> 01:11:48,559
- Oh, incredible.
- I'm joking.

1938
01:11:48,559 --> 01:11:50,812
I'm playing. I'm playing.

1939
01:11:51,896 --> 01:11:53,147
Oh, yeah, please.

1940
01:11:53,147 --> 01:11:55,108
This part of the country
makes me uncomfortable.

1941
01:11:55,108 --> 01:11:58,194
JOHN (over speaker):
♪ She's always on my mind ♪

1942
01:11:58,194 --> 01:12:01,656
- ♪ I'm running out of time ♪
- (motorcycle approaching)

1943
01:12:01,656 --> 01:12:04,992
♪ I miss my friends,
smoking on a... ♪

1944
01:12:04,992 --> 01:12:06,160
What the hell?

1945
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:07,578
- (gasping)
- John?

1946
01:12:07,578 --> 01:12:09,163
You guys came back.

1947
01:12:09,163 --> 01:12:11,332
Dude, we are so sorry, man!

1948
01:12:11,332 --> 01:12:12,458
We never should've
left you here.

1949
01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:13,668
- Never. That was insane.
- Dude.

1950
01:12:13,668 --> 01:12:14,961
- Oh, my God!
- They tied you up?

1951
01:12:14,961 --> 01:12:17,213
Dude, yes.
Deetch went crazy, man.

1952
01:12:17,213 --> 01:12:19,382
- (panting)
- Wait. Where is everyone?

1953
01:12:19,382 --> 01:12:20,466
They found out
about the treasure.

1954
01:12:20,466 --> 01:12:21,592
- What?
- Deetch found out.

1955
01:12:21,592 --> 01:12:22,927
How did he find out?

1956
01:12:23,761 --> 01:12:25,263
- It doesn't matter.
- You told him?

1957
01:12:25,263 --> 01:12:27,056
- John! Come on, man!
- I'm sorry, dude.

1958
01:12:27,056 --> 01:12:29,016
We got to go.
We got to go to Trout Plus.

1959
01:12:29,016 --> 01:12:31,853
♪ ♪

1960
01:12:31,853 --> 01:12:33,730
(quiet murmuring)

1961
01:12:33,730 --> 01:12:36,441
Okay. Lisa, stay here.
Take the back entrance.

1962
01:12:36,441 --> 01:12:38,443
Make sure no one leaves.

1963
01:12:38,443 --> 01:12:40,403
Oh, Deetch, I thought we...

1964
01:12:40,403 --> 01:12:42,029
Oh, oh, my God.

1965
01:12:42,029 --> 01:12:44,115
♪ ♪

1966
01:13:01,799 --> 01:13:03,593
♪ ♪

1967
01:13:03,593 --> 01:13:07,722
I think you have something
that belongs to me.

1968
01:13:07,722 --> 01:13:09,807
♪ ♪

1969
01:13:10,975 --> 01:13:13,019
We're closed.

1970
01:13:13,019 --> 01:13:16,773
Oh, um, we-we're here
to steal the treasure.

1971
01:13:16,773 --> 01:13:19,358
♪ ♪

1972
01:13:19,358 --> 01:13:21,277
Oh, no!

1973
01:13:21,277 --> 01:13:22,570
Where are we going, John?

1974
01:13:22,570 --> 01:13:24,489
There's no way we're gonna
make it in time.

1975
01:13:24,489 --> 01:13:26,783
There's one way.

1976
01:13:29,827 --> 01:13:32,205
John, what are we doing here?

1977
01:13:32,205 --> 01:13:34,248
(wind whistling)

1978
01:13:37,001 --> 01:13:40,129
- Dude, you gonna fly down?
- (sighs)

1979
01:13:41,506 --> 01:13:42,924
JOHN:
That's Trout Plus.

1980
01:13:42,924 --> 01:13:45,301
This is the only way
we'll make it in time.

1981
01:13:45,301 --> 01:13:47,470
No, John, we did this once, man.

1982
01:13:47,470 --> 01:13:49,639
I don't know if you remember--
I became a kite.

1983
01:13:49,639 --> 01:13:51,140
You guys,
we got to get Marge back.

1984
01:13:51,140 --> 01:13:54,227
Let's do it for the people
that you guys love.

1985
01:13:54,227 --> 01:13:57,021
Mart, I've been a dick
to your girlfriend, man.

1986
01:13:57,021 --> 01:14:00,149
If I'm being honest, I don't
know her last name even.

1987
01:14:00,149 --> 01:14:01,150
It's Murphy.

1988
01:14:01,150 --> 01:14:02,235
- Murphy.
- Murphy.

1989
01:14:02,235 --> 01:14:03,361
That's beautiful.

1990
01:14:03,361 --> 01:14:04,779
- Thank you.
- And, Benny,

1991
01:14:04,779 --> 01:14:06,489
I feel like a big part
of the reason why

1992
01:14:06,489 --> 01:14:08,324
you and your dad have
a weird relationship

1993
01:14:08,324 --> 01:14:10,743
is 'cause I write Yelp reviews
complaining about you,

1994
01:14:10,743 --> 01:14:13,663
hoping Farley sees them
and fires you.

1995
01:14:13,663 --> 01:14:15,456
- What?
- Yeah, dude.

1996
01:14:15,456 --> 01:14:16,707
- Why?
- Because I wanted him

1997
01:14:16,707 --> 01:14:18,334
to get fired
so we could go, like,

1998
01:14:18,334 --> 01:14:19,502
bowling more
or some stupid shit.

1999
01:14:19,502 --> 01:14:20,753
- What the fuck?
- Oh, my God.

2000
01:14:20,753 --> 01:14:22,171
I don't know, man.
I'm fucked-up.

2001
01:14:22,171 --> 01:14:24,674
When I was a kid,
you guys were there for me.

2002
01:14:24,674 --> 01:14:27,093
I wasn't Penis Boy to you guys.
I was just John.

2003
01:14:27,093 --> 01:14:29,804
And I've been an asshole,
but I can change.

2004
01:14:29,804 --> 01:14:31,472
I'll get to know Amy Miller.

2005
01:14:31,472 --> 01:14:32,598
I just said Murphy, John.

2006
01:14:32,598 --> 01:14:33,975
- Murphy, Murphy.
- Murphy, dude.

2007
01:14:33,975 --> 01:14:35,476
- I'd appreciate it if...
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

2008
01:14:35,476 --> 01:14:37,895
I can't hold you guys back anymore.

2009
01:14:38,730 --> 01:14:40,231
I know that now.

2010
01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:45,903
♪ ♪

2011
01:14:52,827 --> 01:14:54,495
JOHN:
All right, boys.

2012
01:14:54,495 --> 01:14:56,539
Wish me luck.

2013
01:14:56,539 --> 01:14:58,207
BEN:
Wait!

2014
01:14:58,207 --> 01:14:59,584
We're coming with you.

2015
01:14:59,584 --> 01:15:02,462
I'd rather die
than live without you, boys.

2016
01:15:02,462 --> 01:15:04,839
Now let's go make
a hundred million.

2017
01:15:04,839 --> 01:15:06,549
Whoo!

2018
01:15:06,549 --> 01:15:09,093
Yeah, now, come on, boys.

2019
01:15:09,093 --> 01:15:10,678
It's Fly Day Friday.

2020
01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:13,598
("Take Me Out"
by Franz Ferdinand playing)

2021
01:15:19,270 --> 01:15:21,814
(wind whistling)

2022
01:15:21,814 --> 01:15:24,192
- ♪ Take me out ♪
- (whooping)

2023
01:15:24,192 --> 01:15:25,693
♪ ♪

2024
01:15:25,693 --> 01:15:28,780
(whooping continues)

2025
01:15:28,780 --> 01:15:31,783
BEN:
I'm not a kite anymore!

2026
01:15:32,575 --> 01:15:34,410
I fucking love you guys!

2027
01:15:34,410 --> 01:15:36,370
I love you, too, man!

2028
01:15:37,538 --> 01:15:39,540
Holy shit!

2029
01:15:39,540 --> 01:15:41,501
It's the hawk!

2030
01:15:41,501 --> 01:15:43,669
We inspired him to fly!

2031
01:15:43,669 --> 01:15:45,505
- Good job, dude!
- Yeah!

2032
01:15:45,505 --> 01:15:48,591
JOHN: We're almost there!
I feel amazing!

2033
01:15:48,591 --> 01:15:50,760
- (fabric ripping)
- No, no, no, no! No!

2034
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:52,720
What happened? What's wrong?

2035
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:54,514
JOHN:
The hawk ripped my suit!

2036
01:15:54,514 --> 01:15:56,599
- BEN: What?
- My penis slipped out!

2037
01:15:56,599 --> 01:15:57,850
BEN:
Are you serious?

2038
01:15:57,850 --> 01:16:00,186
How does this always
happen to you?

2039
01:16:00,186 --> 01:16:02,480
JOHN:
Dude, what's up with the hawk?

2040
01:16:02,480 --> 01:16:04,399
BEN:
Put your penis away.

2041
01:16:04,399 --> 01:16:06,526
JOHN:
Oh, yeah. Sorry.

2042
01:16:06,526 --> 01:16:08,111
Is John's dick out?

2043
01:16:08,111 --> 01:16:10,154
- (murmuring, snarling)
- FARLEY: What's going on?

2044
01:16:10,154 --> 01:16:11,697
Who are you people?

2045
01:16:11,697 --> 01:16:14,575
We've come
to destroy the treasure.

2046
01:16:14,575 --> 01:16:16,202
(cheering)

2047
01:16:16,202 --> 01:16:20,164
That is one of the ideas
we are floating around.

2048
01:16:20,957 --> 01:16:23,418
I mean, I know I have a lot
of catching up to do,

2049
01:16:23,418 --> 01:16:24,794
but, guys, seriously,

2050
01:16:24,794 --> 01:16:26,295
I don't even know why
you're listening to him.

2051
01:16:26,295 --> 01:16:27,630
See, I'm from Hollywood.

2052
01:16:27,630 --> 01:16:29,716
I know a poseur when I see one.
Trust me.

2053
01:16:29,716 --> 01:16:31,551
This guy doesn't matter.

2054
01:16:31,551 --> 01:16:33,511
What matters is art.

2055
01:16:33,511 --> 01:16:36,013
It is value--
real priceless value.

2056
01:16:36,013 --> 01:16:37,432
(yells)

2057
01:16:37,432 --> 01:16:39,308
(people gasping, screaming)

2058
01:16:39,308 --> 01:16:40,810
(groaning)

2059
01:16:40,810 --> 01:16:44,522
Deetch doesn't matter?
All lives matter. (laughs)

2060
01:16:44,522 --> 01:16:46,065
EMPLOYEE:
What the hell did he just say?

2061
01:16:46,065 --> 01:16:49,986
Okay, we're all in this
together, right?

2062
01:16:49,986 --> 01:16:52,530
CULT MEMBERS:
Yeah!

2063
01:16:52,530 --> 01:16:53,740
(whooping)

2064
01:16:53,740 --> 01:16:55,491
Dude, it's so beautiful up here.

2065
01:16:55,491 --> 01:16:57,326
- I love it.
- MARTIN: So peaceful.

2066
01:16:57,326 --> 01:16:58,870
It's peaceful.

2067
01:16:58,870 --> 01:17:00,246
BEN:
Wait a second, guys.

2068
01:17:00,246 --> 01:17:01,581
How do we land?

2069
01:17:01,581 --> 01:17:03,833
Huh. Yeah, I don't know.

2070
01:17:03,833 --> 01:17:05,835
MARTIN: I think we just
got to drag our legs

2071
01:17:05,835 --> 01:17:07,503
until they hit the ground
and go...

2072
01:17:07,503 --> 01:17:10,923
- (people screaming)
- (groaning)

2073
01:17:12,884 --> 01:17:15,386
- Oh, my God.
- (groaning)

2074
01:17:17,221 --> 01:17:19,682
(yelling)

2075
01:17:19,682 --> 01:17:21,893
(gasping breaths)

2076
01:17:23,061 --> 01:17:24,187
Dad!

2077
01:17:25,772 --> 01:17:27,398
How are you alive?

2078
01:17:27,398 --> 01:17:30,193
BEN: The adrenaline.
We're like superheroes!

2079
01:17:30,193 --> 01:17:33,446
(groans) Oh, I died.

2080
01:17:33,446 --> 01:17:35,406
Is this hell?

2081
01:17:35,406 --> 01:17:37,033
Martin! Are you okay?

2082
01:17:37,033 --> 01:17:41,537
(sighs)
Poppy, play our war anthem.

2083
01:17:41,537 --> 01:17:42,872
War anthem?

2084
01:17:42,872 --> 01:17:45,208
(electrical buzzing)

2085
01:17:46,793 --> 01:17:49,087
("Young Folks" by
Peter Bjorn and John playing)

2086
01:17:49,087 --> 01:17:51,714
So we have to fight
these purple guys,

2087
01:17:51,714 --> 01:17:54,759
and if we don't, they'll steal
our treasure and murder us.

2088
01:17:54,759 --> 01:17:56,552
BEN and JOHN:
Yes.

2089
01:17:56,552 --> 01:17:58,304
BEN:
Ever been in a fight before?

2090
01:17:58,304 --> 01:18:00,181
No. I don't think
they have, either.

2091
01:18:00,181 --> 01:18:02,100
But they have, like, weapons
and shit. -It's all right.

2092
01:18:02,100 --> 01:18:03,768
- Just use your confidence.
- Okay. Yep.

2093
01:18:03,768 --> 01:18:05,686
- Have some confidence.
- Put your hands up.

2094
01:18:05,686 --> 01:18:07,230
(all yelling)

2095
01:18:07,230 --> 01:18:10,983
♪ And we don't care
about the young folks ♪

2096
01:18:10,983 --> 01:18:14,070
♪ Talking 'bout
the young style ♪

2097
01:18:14,070 --> 01:18:15,446
♪ And we don't care about... ♪

2098
01:18:15,446 --> 01:18:18,282
What the hell is going on?
This is insane!

2099
01:18:18,282 --> 01:18:20,952
(grunting, yelling)

2100
01:18:20,952 --> 01:18:24,914
♪ And we don't care
about their own faults ♪

2101
01:18:24,914 --> 01:18:26,666
- ♪ Talking 'bout... ♪
- Fuck!

2102
01:18:26,666 --> 01:18:28,584
FARLEY: Don't worry, guys.
I'm in charge.

2103
01:18:28,584 --> 01:18:30,795
I'll protect everyone.

2104
01:18:31,629 --> 01:18:32,797
Kevin.

2105
01:18:32,797 --> 01:18:34,424
Dude, we just had
breakfast together.

2106
01:18:34,424 --> 01:18:36,384
You're brainwashed, dude.
Please don't chop my head off.

2107
01:18:36,384 --> 01:18:38,511
♪ And we don't care
about the young folks... ♪

2108
01:18:38,511 --> 01:18:40,263
- Oh.
- Amy.

2109
01:18:40,263 --> 01:18:41,764
- (laughing): John.
- Oh, what?

2110
01:18:41,764 --> 01:18:43,558
(grunting)

2111
01:18:43,558 --> 01:18:44,934
Oh, my God.

2112
01:18:44,934 --> 01:18:46,769
- Teamwork.
- Teamwork.

2113
01:18:46,769 --> 01:18:49,063
- Oh, my God!
- (screaming)

2114
01:18:49,063 --> 01:18:50,815
- Is that Gaten Matarazzo?
- (sobbing): Yes.

2115
01:18:50,815 --> 01:18:52,775
(John screaming)

2116
01:18:52,775 --> 01:18:54,318
Is that John?

2117
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:56,946
Whoa.

2118
01:18:56,946 --> 01:18:58,614
Um, I am in the wrong room,

2119
01:18:58,614 --> 01:19:01,492
so I think I'm just gonna go,
and whatever... (gasps)

2120
01:19:01,492 --> 01:19:04,120
LISA: Stop. Wait. No, no.
What are we doing?

2121
01:19:04,120 --> 01:19:06,497
W-We're not gonna kill
this little person

2122
01:19:06,497 --> 01:19:09,625
just because, you know,
a maniac told us to.

2123
01:19:09,625 --> 01:19:11,252
'Cause we're not followers.

2124
01:19:12,170 --> 01:19:14,088
You guys don't need this cult.

2125
01:19:14,088 --> 01:19:16,382
You have free will
and all this possibility.

2126
01:19:16,382 --> 01:19:19,385
Like, you could be a dancer;
and you, a singer.

2127
01:19:19,385 --> 01:19:20,803
And you could be...

2128
01:19:20,803 --> 01:19:23,806
on <i>Duck Dynasty,</i> I guess.

2129
01:19:23,806 --> 01:19:25,850
- Let's show him who's boss!
- (cheering)

2130
01:19:25,850 --> 01:19:27,518
Enough! You heard Deetch.
I'm gonna kill her!

2131
01:19:27,518 --> 01:19:28,811
(screams) Oh, my God, no!

2132
01:19:28,811 --> 01:19:30,897
- (choking, gasping)
- Oh, my God.

2133
01:19:32,940 --> 01:19:35,109
- Ah, fuck.
- LISA: Taylor.

2134
01:19:35,109 --> 01:19:37,070
- How did you find me?
- I saw John flying

2135
01:19:37,070 --> 01:19:38,988
with his dick out,
pointing southeast,

2136
01:19:38,988 --> 01:19:41,574
so I just kept running
and squinting.

2137
01:19:41,574 --> 01:19:43,159
- I missed you, buddy.
- Lisa,

2138
01:19:43,159 --> 01:19:44,702
I love you, too, but, bitch,
we're about to get killed.

2139
01:19:44,702 --> 01:19:46,496
- We got to go.
- Okay. Come on, guys.

2140
01:19:46,496 --> 01:19:47,663
Come on, come on.

2141
01:19:47,663 --> 01:19:49,123
Deetch!
I got it for you, Deetch!

2142
01:19:49,123 --> 01:19:49,957
(laughs)

2143
01:19:49,957 --> 01:19:51,959
They're getting away!

2144
01:19:51,959 --> 01:19:54,045
BEN:
Where is my dad?

2145
01:19:54,045 --> 01:19:56,839
(theme from <i>The Office</i> playing)

2146
01:19:56,839 --> 01:19:59,717
(Farley laughing)

2147
01:19:59,717 --> 01:20:00,676
Mart!

2148
01:20:00,676 --> 01:20:02,762
I can't stop them alone,

2149
01:20:02,762 --> 01:20:04,931
but I know someone who can.

2150
01:20:05,807 --> 01:20:07,392
JOHN:
Mart, here!

2151
01:20:08,393 --> 01:20:09,477
(grunts)

2152
01:20:12,480 --> 01:20:14,065
(grunts)

2153
01:20:18,611 --> 01:20:19,862
Martin?

2154
01:20:19,862 --> 01:20:21,364
What are you doing?

2155
01:20:21,364 --> 01:20:24,409
Something I should've done
a long time ago.

2156
01:20:24,909 --> 01:20:27,078
Dude, it's happening.

2157
01:20:38,381 --> 01:20:41,217
("Lean Back" by Terror Squad
feat. Fat Joe & Remy playing)

2158
01:20:41,217 --> 01:20:43,720
BOTH:
Lawrence! (howling)

2159
01:20:43,720 --> 01:20:45,805
(bad Italian accent):
I am Lawrence,

2160
01:20:45,805 --> 01:20:47,557
and I'm gonna beat ya
until your guts

2161
01:20:47,557 --> 01:20:48,933
fall out of your bussy.

2162
01:20:49,767 --> 01:20:51,477
Martin, what did you just say?

2163
01:20:51,477 --> 01:20:54,897
♪ Lean back, lean back,
lean back... ♪

2164
01:20:54,897 --> 01:20:56,315
- Hey!
- (screams)

2165
01:20:56,315 --> 01:20:57,900
♪ I said my ... don't dance ♪

2166
01:20:57,900 --> 01:20:59,777
♪ We just pull up our pants
and... ♪

2167
01:20:59,777 --> 01:21:01,404
Who are you?

2168
01:21:01,404 --> 01:21:05,241
I'm the guy who's gonna be
putting your ass in a body bag.

2169
01:21:05,241 --> 01:21:07,618
- (grunting)
- Hey.

2170
01:21:07,618 --> 01:21:09,245
Oh!

2171
01:21:10,121 --> 01:21:12,540
♪ We from the Bronx, New York,
things happen... ♪

2172
01:21:12,540 --> 01:21:14,459
Whoa. Hey.

2173
01:21:14,459 --> 01:21:16,127
(whimpers)

2174
01:21:16,127 --> 01:21:18,713
(yells, grunts)

2175
01:21:20,131 --> 01:21:23,301
You can't stop us!

2176
01:21:23,301 --> 01:21:25,011
Oh, yeah?
Tell you what, tell you what,

2177
01:21:25,011 --> 01:21:26,846
this guy is so fucked...

2178
01:21:26,846 --> 01:21:28,765
BOTH:
How fucked is he?

2179
01:21:28,765 --> 01:21:30,266
Let's just say his dentist

2180
01:21:30,266 --> 01:21:32,518
is gonna be getting
the new beach house.

2181
01:21:32,518 --> 01:21:35,146
♪ ♪

2182
01:21:37,732 --> 01:21:39,108
(gasps)

2183
01:21:39,108 --> 01:21:40,443
(screaming)

2184
01:21:40,443 --> 01:21:41,486
No!

2185
01:21:41,486 --> 01:21:42,612
♪ Lean back ♪

2186
01:21:42,612 --> 01:21:45,448
♪ Lean back, lean back... ♪

2187
01:21:45,448 --> 01:21:47,408
BOTH:
Oh! Slam!

2188
01:21:47,408 --> 01:21:50,912
♪ Lean back, lean back,
lean back... ♪

2189
01:21:50,912 --> 01:21:52,663
- Deetch has the treasure!
- Get him!

2190
01:21:52,663 --> 01:21:54,749
(panting)

2191
01:21:57,377 --> 01:21:59,545
- (crowd murmuring)
- TAYLOR: Mm-hmm.

2192
01:21:59,545 --> 01:22:00,963
Oh.

2193
01:22:00,963 --> 01:22:03,132
Hey, good.
You're... all here.

2194
01:22:03,132 --> 01:22:05,301
Um... let's bounce.

2195
01:22:06,677 --> 01:22:08,388
All right, what is this?

2196
01:22:08,388 --> 01:22:10,264
Tricia? Help.

2197
01:22:10,264 --> 01:22:12,225
(mocking):
"Tricia, help."

2198
01:22:13,059 --> 01:22:14,977
- (grunts fiercely)
- Oh, my God. -Whoa.

2199
01:22:14,977 --> 01:22:16,479
(exhales sharply)

2200
01:22:16,479 --> 01:22:17,814
Et tu, Tricia?

2201
01:22:17,814 --> 01:22:20,066
You've hurt these people
long enough, Deetch, okay?

2202
01:22:20,066 --> 01:22:21,651
Tonight was insane.

2203
01:22:21,651 --> 01:22:23,486
People were running around
with spears in their hands.

2204
01:22:23,486 --> 01:22:26,155
Wow, that's awesome, huh?
No, it's not.

2205
01:22:26,155 --> 01:22:28,658
JOHN: It's done, Deetch.
They don't need you.

2206
01:22:28,658 --> 01:22:30,034
Just give up the treasure.

2207
01:22:30,034 --> 01:22:31,661
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Let me just, um...

2208
01:22:31,661 --> 01:22:33,329
I think I'll get my...

2209
01:22:33,329 --> 01:22:36,290
Fuck you!

2210
01:22:36,290 --> 01:22:39,544
I've been living in a hut
for the past 12 years

2211
01:22:39,544 --> 01:22:43,798
doing drugs with a bunch
of losers and burnouts!

2212
01:22:43,798 --> 01:22:46,175
No, I deserve a Jet Ski!

2213
01:22:46,175 --> 01:22:48,094
- Oh, my God.
- DEETCH: I want to go to Berlin

2214
01:22:48,094 --> 01:22:50,847
and eat steak at a nightclub.

2215
01:22:50,847 --> 01:22:53,683
I am never letting go of this.

2216
01:22:53,683 --> 01:22:56,018
I am never letting go!

2217
01:22:56,018 --> 01:22:57,729
You sure about that, Deetch?

2218
01:22:59,105 --> 01:23:00,982
(loud, shrill honk)

2219
01:23:00,982 --> 01:23:02,233
(people gasping, murmuring)

2220
01:23:02,233 --> 01:23:03,484
What the fuck is that?

2221
01:23:03,484 --> 01:23:04,235
Sorry.

2222
01:23:04,235 --> 01:23:05,278
(loud, shrill honk)

2223
01:23:05,278 --> 01:23:06,738
(people groaning, murmuring)

2224
01:23:06,738 --> 01:23:08,030
What are you doing?

2225
01:23:08,030 --> 01:23:09,866
(wings fluttering)

2226
01:23:09,866 --> 01:23:12,201
♪ ♪

2227
01:23:18,040 --> 01:23:19,584
(loud, shrill honk)

2228
01:23:21,085 --> 01:23:25,339
Now, loyal hawk,
drop it in my hands!

2229
01:23:25,339 --> 01:23:27,216
- Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on.
- (upset murmuring)

2230
01:23:27,216 --> 01:23:28,843
- CROWD: No!
- (loud, shrill honking)

2231
01:23:28,843 --> 01:23:31,095
No, no, come back! No, no!

2232
01:23:31,095 --> 01:23:33,097
- No, no, no, no!
- No, no!

2233
01:23:33,097 --> 01:23:34,223
(groaning)

2234
01:23:34,223 --> 01:23:35,391
(Deetch sobbing loudly)

2235
01:23:35,391 --> 01:23:36,976
JOHN:
Just let him go.

2236
01:23:36,976 --> 01:23:39,312
He's gonna be chasing
that hawk forever.

2237
01:23:39,312 --> 01:23:41,731
MARTIN: It's like something
out of Greek mythology.

2238
01:23:41,731 --> 01:23:42,940
JOHN:
Yeah, it is.

2239
01:23:42,940 --> 01:23:44,567
I'm so sorry,
I thought it would

2240
01:23:44,567 --> 01:23:46,277
bring it to us for some reason.

2241
01:23:46,277 --> 01:23:48,279
- I... (groans)
- It's okay.

2242
01:23:48,279 --> 01:23:50,573
- BEN: That hurts.
- JOHN: It's okay.

2243
01:23:51,824 --> 01:23:54,160
♪ ♪

2244
01:23:54,952 --> 01:23:56,996
NARRATOR:
<i>So, in the end,</i>

2245
01:23:56,996 --> 01:23:59,457
<i>the boys didn't get
the treasure.</i>

2246
01:23:59,457 --> 01:24:04,253
<i>But they did end up with the
most valuable treasure of all:</i>

2247
01:24:04,253 --> 01:24:06,089
<i>friendship.</i>

2248
01:24:06,089 --> 01:24:09,092
<i>You see, life isn't about money.</i>

2249
01:24:09,092 --> 01:24:12,970
<i>At the end of the day,
life is all about...</i>

2250
01:24:12,970 --> 01:24:14,555
- Oh, my God, the hawk is back!
- Oh!

2251
01:24:14,555 --> 01:24:17,100
♪ ♪

2252
01:24:17,100 --> 01:24:19,769
NARRATOR:
<i>Oh, shit! The hawk came back!</i>

2253
01:24:20,853 --> 01:24:23,314
<i>It's giving 'em the treasure!</i>

2254
01:24:23,314 --> 01:24:28,111
<i>Oh! Oh, my God, they got it!</i>

2255
01:24:28,111 --> 01:24:29,445
<i>(narrator laughing)</i>

2256
01:24:29,445 --> 01:24:30,947
(all cheering, laughing)

2257
01:24:30,947 --> 01:24:32,115
I love you guys!

2258
01:24:32,115 --> 01:24:33,491
- Love you, too!
- I love you, too!

2259
01:24:33,491 --> 01:24:36,369
BEN: He was fucking with us.
I love it.

2260
01:24:36,369 --> 01:24:40,373
He's a cheeky little bitch,
and he knows it.

2261
01:24:42,875 --> 01:24:45,670
NARRATOR: <i>The treasure
of Foggy Mountain was theirs,</i>

2262
01:24:45,670 --> 01:24:48,881
<i>and they celebrated
until the sun came up</i>

2263
01:24:48,881 --> 01:24:51,175
<i>with the people they loved.</i>

2264
01:24:51,175 --> 01:24:53,219
("Thanks to You" by Dan Greer
playing)

2265
01:24:53,219 --> 01:24:54,804
Oh, God, Ben.

2266
01:24:54,804 --> 01:24:56,514
I'm so glad you're safe.

2267
01:24:56,514 --> 01:24:57,849
I looked everywhere for you.

2268
01:24:57,849 --> 01:24:58,850
Shut up, bitch.

2269
01:24:58,850 --> 01:25:00,309
- What?
- I love you,

2270
01:25:00,309 --> 01:25:01,602
but I want you to be

2271
01:25:01,602 --> 01:25:03,521
a significantly smaller
part of my life.

2272
01:25:03,521 --> 01:25:05,732
As for me,
I'll be doing my own thing.

2273
01:25:05,732 --> 01:25:08,151
- No, don't say it.
- The Hair Salon for Boys.

2274
01:25:08,151 --> 01:25:09,402
So bad.

2275
01:25:09,402 --> 01:25:10,820
- All right.
- (grunts)

2276
01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:12,113
Take care, Pop.

2277
01:25:12,113 --> 01:25:13,698
♪ And taught me to care ♪

2278
01:25:13,698 --> 01:25:15,032
♪ Thanks to you... ♪

2279
01:25:15,032 --> 01:25:16,743
That's my boy.

2280
01:25:16,743 --> 01:25:20,204
Martin, that was the hottest
fucking thing I've ever seen.

2281
01:25:20,204 --> 01:25:21,539
But Lawrence is
everything you hate.

2282
01:25:21,539 --> 01:25:24,500
He's crude. He's violent.
He's Italian.

2283
01:25:24,500 --> 01:25:26,502
Martin, we shouldn't hide
who we are for each other.

2284
01:25:26,502 --> 01:25:28,129
We should just be honest.

2285
01:25:28,129 --> 01:25:29,756
I'm not perfect.

2286
01:25:29,756 --> 01:25:31,049
You know, I swear.

2287
01:25:31,049 --> 01:25:33,384
- I watch animated porn.
- Oh.

2288
01:25:33,384 --> 01:25:36,179
It's porn of popular
animated characters. -Right.

2289
01:25:36,179 --> 01:25:38,181
Like Mr. Incredible
fucking Mrs. Incredible.

2290
01:25:38,181 --> 01:25:40,516
Uh-huh. -Mr. Incredible
fucking Frozone.

2291
01:25:40,516 --> 01:25:42,977
Right. -Snoopy getting dicked
down by the man from <i>Up.</i>

2292
01:25:42,977 --> 01:25:45,188
Amy, I get it. We got to be
honest with each other.

2293
01:25:45,188 --> 01:25:46,731
- (laughing): Come here.
- Oh, my God.

2294
01:25:46,731 --> 01:25:48,149
I can't believe it.

2295
01:25:48,149 --> 01:25:49,650
- You're a millionaire now.
- This is crazy.

2296
01:25:49,650 --> 01:25:51,486
And you, like, led
a revolution. It was amazing.

2297
01:25:51,486 --> 01:25:53,446
I feel like I'm, like, a
different person or something.

2298
01:25:53,446 --> 01:25:55,031
- I don't know what came over me.
- Oh.

2299
01:25:55,031 --> 01:25:56,532
- Lisa, I am so...
- I am so...

2300
01:25:56,532 --> 01:25:58,201
- Sorry.
- Go ahead.

2301
01:25:58,201 --> 01:25:59,494
- You go first.
- Sorry, I talked over you.

2302
01:25:59,494 --> 01:26:00,912
- I feel...
- I really like...

2303
01:26:00,912 --> 01:26:02,538
- I really like...
- I want to have sex with you.

2304
01:26:02,538 --> 01:26:04,373
- What?
- What were you gonna say?

2305
01:26:04,373 --> 01:26:05,583
What did you say?

2306
01:26:05,583 --> 01:26:07,043
I, um, wish we could go back

2307
01:26:07,043 --> 01:26:08,044
to that tent
and start over again.

2308
01:26:08,044 --> 01:26:09,545
Yeah.

2309
01:26:09,545 --> 01:26:11,881
♪ Yes, I can, now,
I can face the world... ♪

2310
01:26:11,881 --> 01:26:13,716
- Shall we?
- Yeah.

2311
01:26:13,716 --> 01:26:15,218
- Yeah.
- Let's go to the tent.

2312
01:26:15,218 --> 01:26:16,636
(both chuckling)

2313
01:26:16,636 --> 01:26:19,389
♪ Thanks to you, girl,
I can make it ♪

2314
01:26:19,389 --> 01:26:20,640
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

2315
01:26:20,640 --> 01:26:23,393
Are those two gonna fuck
in my tent?

2316
01:26:23,393 --> 01:26:26,062
Why does everyone fuck
in that tent?

2317
01:26:26,062 --> 01:26:28,106
("Alright" by Supergrass
playing)

2318
01:26:28,106 --> 01:26:31,734
♪ We are young, we run green ♪

2319
01:26:31,734 --> 01:26:33,069
♪ Keep our teeth ♪

2320
01:26:33,069 --> 01:26:34,570
- ♪ Nice and clean ♪
- (whooping)

2321
01:26:34,570 --> 01:26:36,739
{\an8}- ♪ See our friends ♪
- Welcome to London!

2322
01:26:36,739 --> 01:26:40,952
{\an8}♪ See the sights,
feel all right ♪

2323
01:26:40,952 --> 01:26:44,247
{\an8}♪ We wake up, we go out ♪

2324
01:26:44,247 --> 01:26:45,957
{\an8}♪ Smoke a fag ♪

2325
01:26:45,957 --> 01:26:47,708
{\an8}♪ Put it out ♪

2326
01:26:47,708 --> 01:26:51,045
{\an8}♪ See our friends,
see the sights ♪

2327
01:26:51,045 --> 01:26:54,340
{\an8}♪ Feel all right. ♪

2328
01:27:19,699 --> 01:27:21,117
{\an8}(song ends)

2329
01:27:21,117 --> 01:27:22,910
♪ ♪

2330
01:27:22,910 --> 01:27:26,456
JOHN (auto-tuned):
♪ She's always on my mind ♪

2331
01:27:26,456 --> 01:27:29,333
♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪

2332
01:27:29,333 --> 01:27:31,502
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪

2333
01:27:31,502 --> 01:27:32,837
♪ She's running ♪

2334
01:27:32,837 --> 01:27:36,132
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪

2335
01:27:36,132 --> 01:27:39,260
♪ You don't love me no more ♪

2336
01:27:39,260 --> 01:27:41,554
♪ You don't want me
no more ♪

2337
01:27:41,554 --> 01:27:44,974
♪ Oh, sweetie ♪

2338
01:27:44,974 --> 01:27:48,394
♪ Little sweetie ♪

2339
01:27:48,394 --> 01:27:51,314
♪ She's always on my mind ♪

2340
01:27:51,314 --> 01:27:54,400
♪ I'm running out
of time, girl ♪

2341
01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:57,320
♪ She's running
round the verld ♪

2342
01:27:57,320 --> 01:28:00,615
♪ She's running round
the verld. ♪

2343
01:28:05,411 --> 01:28:07,830
LISA:
♪ Boy, you got me going crazy ♪

2344
01:28:07,830 --> 01:28:10,124
♪ You're making me feel loco ♪

2345
01:28:10,124 --> 01:28:12,335
♪ Sexual seduction ♪

2346
01:28:12,335 --> 01:28:14,962
♪ That's what I like ♪

2347
01:28:14,962 --> 01:28:19,342
♪ You know what, you can't
guess where my underwear is ♪

2348
01:28:19,342 --> 01:28:22,595
♪ I've hid 'em in this room ♪

2349
01:28:22,595 --> 01:28:24,430
♪ You better find them ♪

2350
01:28:24,430 --> 01:28:26,766
♪ Here's a broom. ♪

2351
01:28:26,766 --> 01:28:28,893
♪ ♪

2352
01:28:36,192 --> 01:28:38,111
(song ends)

2353
01:28:38,111 --> 01:28:40,405
♪ ♪

2354
01:29:10,184 --> 01:29:12,437
♪ ♪

2355
01:29:42,216 --> 01:29:44,469
♪ ♪

2356
01:30:14,248 --> 01:30:16,501
♪ ♪

2357
01:30:46,280 --> 01:30:48,533
♪ ♪

2358
01:31:18,312 --> 01:31:20,565
♪ ♪

2359
01:31:50,344 --> 01:31:52,597
♪ ♪

2360
01:32:00,021 --> 01:32:02,106
(music ends)