1
00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:13,514
‪片名:我叫莫妮克

2
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,850
‪-莫妮克疯了
‪-金钱高于诚信

3
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,018
‪莫妮克是个传奇

4
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,562
‪-她得罪太多人
‪-那是个专业人士!

5
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:21,230
‪-好样的
‪-今日傻驴!

6
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,315
‪她很难缠

7
00:00:22,315 --> 00:00:23,566
‪莫妮克是个传奇?

8
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,401
‪她得罪了太多人

9
00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,987
‪-她反复无常
‪-今日傻驴

10
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,408
‪她的职业生涯玩完了

11
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,619
‪感谢大家的鼓励

12
00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:37,997
‪开始吧

13
00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:42,210
‪噢 我的宝贝!

14
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,840
‪来吧 宝贝!

15
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,179
‪噢 宝贝!

16
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:58,142
‪噢 乔治亚洲 亚特兰大!

17
00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:00,978
‪乔治亚洲 亚特兰大!

18
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,022
‪噢 宝贝!

19
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:07,902
‪我会好好感受这里的一切

20
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,323
‪噢 我的宝贝!

21
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,076
‪我们成功了 宝贝!

22
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,494
‪我们成功了!

23
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:31,342
‪莫妮克!

24
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,596
‪站在这么屌的舞台上的人是我吗?

25
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:41,269
‪站上这么屌炸天的舞台的人是我吗?

26
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:50,111
‪我跟你们说 我此刻拼尽了全力

27
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:53,990
‪才没有崩溃大哭 朋友们

28
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,628
‪我跟你们说 我满怀感激

29
00:02:08,254 --> 00:02:09,672
‪我心存感恩

30
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,466
‪我想对每一个支持我的大坏蛋

31
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,510
‪说声谢谢 太他妈感谢了!

32
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:18,389
‪我想对每一个站在我这边的坏蛋
‪说声谢谢 太他妈感谢了!

33
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:21,225
‪我想感谢今晚
‪买票来到现场的每一个黑人同胞

34
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:22,393
‪当然还有你 白人宝贝

35
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:25,229
‪我想要感谢每一个人!

36
00:02:28,608 --> 00:02:35,364
‪今晚 当你们离我而去时
‪你们都会清楚了解我他妈究竟是谁

37
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:37,783
‪今晚 当你们从这里走出去时

38
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,787
‪你们都会明白
‪我他妈为什么会有这般作风

39
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,415
‪今晚 当你们离开这个剧场时

40
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,709
‪你们都会说:
‪“噢 婊贝 我现在懂了!”

41
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:50,922
‪噢 宝贝 要知道 在大家恶语相向

42
00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:55,134
‪对我恶语中伤时 他们并不理解我

43
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,470
‪他们并不了解我

44
00:02:57,470 --> 00:03:00,556
‪而他们却在那儿
‪说我没品 说那些屁话

45
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,642
‪他们说:“莫妮克

46
00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:06,562
‪你怎么受得了
‪这些人对你说的那些屁话?

47
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,649
‪看起来它们对你似乎毫无影响”

48
00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:11,776
‪大家不知道的是 宝贝

49
00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:14,570
‪我以为我永远不会
‪在电视直播 在现场舞台上

50
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,990
‪说这些话
‪因为畏惧那些会随之而来污名

51
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,409
‪大家不了解的是

52
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,954
‪你们眼前的
‪是一个接受过特殊教育的姑奶奶

53
00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:24,830
‪我要你们看看特殊教育教出的人啥样

54
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:29,126
‪我要所有人都看到
‪特殊教育是什么样子 朋友们!

55
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,630
‪我要所有人看到
‪特殊人群是什么样子!

56
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,882
‪我要大家明白 “阿巴阿巴”

57
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,550
‪朋友们 那就是老娘!

58
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,264
‪朋友们 那就是老娘!

59
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,685
‪他们曾经对我极尽羞辱 朋友们

60
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,895
‪从七年级到九年级

61
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:52,483
‪老娘接受了特殊教育

62
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,027
‪朋友们 你们听到了吧?

63
00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,780
‪特殊 朋友们

64
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,075
‪教育 朋友们

65
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,537
‪就像老娘跳交互绳
‪噢 特殊 朋友们!

66
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,163
‪教育 朋友们!

67
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,794
‪特殊教育

68
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:16,299
‪当你想对别人评头论足时
‪宝贝 搞清楚你眼前的人是谁

69
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,718
‪你眼前的这个姑奶奶 上中学时

70
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:21,971
‪在七、八、九年级时

71
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,765
‪接受的是特殊教育

72
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,934
‪我现在就告诉你们吧

73
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,811
‪免得你们费劲上网搜

74
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:31,230
‪我真的觉得那次是个错误 朋友们

75
00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:38,487
‪我相信那他妈的是个错误
‪因为没有信寄到家里

76
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,906
‪没有家长会

77
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,118
‪也没有他妈的教育委员会谈话

78
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,662
‪就是当我去到学校...

79
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,459
‪去读中学时 婊贝

80
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,294
‪我穿着新衣服去到学校

81
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:56,380
‪我衣着光鲜
‪穿着我的Chic大码牛仔裤 宝贝

82
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,633
‪我的白T恤
‪还搭配了我的白鞋子 婊贝

83
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,345
‪我准备好迎接七年级的生活了

84
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,806
‪然后我注意到

85
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,059
‪我家里没有收到通知书...

86
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,356
‪通知我要去哪个班级

87
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:16,776
‪于是我说:“噢 今年一定会非常特别

88
00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:20,029
‪他们没把通知寄到我家
‪我得自己到学校去拿

89
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,073
‪这可真他妈有够特殊的!”

90
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,535
‪当你走进去 他们那儿有你的名字

91
00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,789
‪在一块破牌子上面

92
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:33,084
‪写着你要去哪个班 婊贝

93
00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:37,338
‪他们拿着你的名字 所有小孩
‪跑过来:“我在这个班 那个班!”

94
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,715
‪我看着那块破牌子

95
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:46,847
‪“婊贝 给我看看你的牌子
‪上面写了什么 婊贝?”

96
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:51,602
‪我的通知装在了一个信封里

97
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,775
‪好吗 婊贝?
‪我的通知是他妈装在信封里的

98
00:05:57,775 --> 00:06:00,194
‪我知道这应该是什么情况了

99
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,737
‪但我一向都很乐观

100
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:05,366
‪我一向都说“杯子是半满的”

101
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:09,370
‪所以当我看到我的通知放在信封里时
‪我不假思索地就说:

102
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:14,291
‪“噢 婊贝!这一定很特别 婊贝!

103
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,461
‪他们把你的通知
‪装在了信封里 婊贝”

104
00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:19,880
‪所以当我打开信封...

105
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,385
‪那家伙说:
‪“上面写的什么 婊贝?写的什么?”

106
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,095
‪“朋友 我会告诉你的”

107
00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:30,891
‪上面写着:“B...217室”

108
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,518
‪对吧?

109
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:36,605
‪于是我想:“‘B’代表的是‘棒呆’

110
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,777
‪我是这里最棒的小婊贝

111
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,738
‪咱要去217室了 朋友们

112
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,910
‪我是在咱中学的二楼

113
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,955
‪朋友们 他们是不会让新生去二楼的

114
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,915
‪除非他们很特别 朋友们

115
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,669
‪姐在B217室”

116
00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:01,839
‪等我去到217室

117
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,509
‪我并没有看到那个该死的“B”
‪但我说:“好吧

118
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:08,345
‪反正217还在!”

119
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,890
‪于是我骄傲地走进了教室

120
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,850
‪穿着我的新衣服

121
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,520
‪老师在里面 我把我的资料给了她

122
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,981
‪因为她说:“噢 你是谁啊?”

123
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,693
‪我说:“莫妮克艾姆斯”

124
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,697
‪她说:“噢 我名单上没有你的名字”

125
00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:29,033
‪我说:“但我有这份通知啊”

126
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:34,580
‪在她把通知拿过去时 她轻笑了一声

127
00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:38,083
‪我不明白她笑什么

128
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,753
‪但我想:“管她去死 老娘是最棒的”

129
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:46,133
‪“去她的!” 对吧?

130
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:49,386
‪她轻笑一声说:“噢 不

131
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,305
‪不是这个217

132
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,558
‪你在一楼 后面的那个教室”

133
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,187
‪“B”代表的是“背后” 婊贝

134
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,689
‪背后 到后面去 婊贝

135
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:06,070
‪等我去到B217室

136
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,115
‪我走进了教室

137
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:14,578
‪我看到有个大婊贝戴着个头盔

138
00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:17,790
‪还有条下巴带

139
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:20,876
‪我说:“我操!”

140
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:28,050
‪然后我乐观地想:

141
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:32,680
‪“好吧 那可能是她的时尚表达 婊贝

142
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,098
‪这儿可是中学

143
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:37,560
‪那个大婊贝可能会说
‪‘我要用这顶头盔干掉所有人’”

144
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,021
‪她戴着那破玩意儿 对吧?

145
00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:44,483
‪然后 等我坐下来

146
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:47,403
‪我看到那边有个白人小男生

147
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,614
‪他把胶水

148
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,034
‪倒在自己的手上

149
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,537
‪我喜欢看热闹 朋友们

150
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,373
‪我他妈非常喜欢看热闹

151
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,958
‪我在旁边煽风点火

152
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,419
‪我看着他手上的胶水干掉

153
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:06,839
‪然后他在手里揉搓它

154
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:09,300
‪小提米知道我当时正在看着他

155
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,343
‪于是这小子一下就变身成了魔术师

156
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:12,595
‪他看起来就像...

157
00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:17,725
‪然后丫说...

158
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,564
‪我说:“噢 婊贝
‪我进了特殊教育班!

159
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:34,408
‪他妈的 老娘进了特殊教育班!”

160
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,786
‪但你们觉得我这就被击垮了吗?

161
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:42,082
‪我看到了它好的一面 妈的
‪因为当我看向黑板时

162
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,710
‪我看到了他们要教的内容

163
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,920
‪我心想:“老娘要在这里称霸一方

164
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,883
‪原色 二级色

165
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,677
‪荣誉榜!”

166
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:04,146
‪我就是在这里发现了

167
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,983
‪我母亲是个文盲

168
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,195
‪你们真他妈没心肝

169
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:14,490
‪你们太没心肝了

170
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:17,451
‪嘲笑我妈妈不识字

171
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,912
‪你们这些没良心的混蛋!

172
00:10:23,374 --> 00:10:25,709
‪我们没有过这样的对话

173
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,753
‪大家没有坐下来正式说这事

174
00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:29,797
‪只是当你开始观察时

175
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:34,134
‪在学业上
‪我也许不是现场最聪明的人

176
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,513
‪因为我是在后面的特殊教育教室

177
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,807
‪但是没关系的 朋友的

178
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,183
‪当有异动发生时

179
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,727
‪我看得出来

180
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:47,272
‪因为我非常善于观察
‪我会察言观色 好吧?

181
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,733
‪我拿出了老师写的一封信

182
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:56,156
‪这个天杀的
‪要给我家捎个信 聊聊 “莫妮克

183
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,201
‪话太多的事”

184
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,454
‪所以我毫无改变 各位!

185
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,416
‪老娘这一辈子都他妈在做这件事!

186
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:09,128
‪“她话太多了 她影响了大家

187
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,923
‪再发生这种情况
‪我们就要开个家校会议了”

188
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:15,175
‪我看完了那封信

189
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,429
‪我要把这破玩意儿带回家

190
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,265
‪我有一大特质 我很诚实

191
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:22,808
‪我很诚实 婊贝

192
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:26,687
‪如果我做错事 婊贝 我很诚实
‪我他妈会说:“是我搞砸了”

193
00:11:28,439 --> 00:11:30,816
‪所以回家的路上 我很紧张

194
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,944
‪因为我要把这封信交给我妈妈

195
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,488
‪这个老白男说老娘话太多了

196
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:39,742
‪他不是唯一一个人
‪我妈妈也跟我说过同样的话

197
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,580
‪所以我的家人现在都不喜欢老娘

198
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:46,749
‪好吧?

199
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:50,169
‪我到家后 我把这封该死的信给了她

200
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,255
‪她把它打开

201
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:54,840
‪我告诉你们

202
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,218
‪当我第一次说我要在台上说这个时
‪我老公跟我说

203
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,345
‪-他说了什么?
‪-朋友 我会告诉你的

204
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:05,851
‪他说:“妈妈

205
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,271
‪别说你妈妈是文盲

206
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,482
‪那样太伤人了”

207
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:15,152
‪我他妈念十年级时就认识我老公了

208
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,029
‪从我们14岁时就认识了

209
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:22,409
‪他是我这辈子见过的最善良的人

210
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,245
‪于是我直视着他说:“我就知道...

211
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,794
‪你会这么说 小子

212
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,880
‪老娘从上十年级起就认识你了

213
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,051
‪不过 小子 你也是
‪从上十年级起就他妈认识我了

214
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:41,345
‪她就是没有阅读能力 小子

215
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:44,556
‪那娘们儿就是文盲!”

216
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,686
‪好吧 所以 我把那封该死的信给了她

217
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,606
‪然后静待着暴雨袭来

218
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,566
‪我等着她说:

219
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,985
‪“我他妈是没跟你说过让你闭嘴吗?”

220
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,446
‪我静待着暴雨袭来

221
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,156
‪她看着那封信

222
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,788
‪她抬头看着我

223
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,665
‪她看着我的时候 我堆起了笑容

224
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:13,126
‪因为我要看看事情会如何发展
‪我也不知道信上说了些什么

225
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:18,632
‪她把目光转回那封信上
‪然后看着我说:

226
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,134
‪“妮妮 这真的很好”

227
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:27,641
‪我说:“噢 这娘们儿不识字!

228
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:33,730
‪你妈她不识字 朋友!”

229
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:43,240
‪我没在批评什么啊 事实就是这样!

230
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,493
‪就是他妈不识字

231
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:53,417
‪然后我想打开
‪《电力公司》给她点线索

232
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,670
‪“早上 餐点 早餐”

233
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:04,052
‪你们以为在特殊教育班

234
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,222
‪是不可能有种族主义的

235
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:13,020
‪在特殊教育班不可能有歧视

236
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,063
‪因为这个系统

237
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,025
‪本来就应该是特别的 婊贝

238
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,986
‪但不是那种:“噢 他们真是不一般”

239
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,071
‪就是:“噢 他们不太一般哈”

240
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,825
‪我们都被写在了“废物”名单上

241
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:30,871
‪这个系统里的每一个人
‪都被列入了被抛弃的名单

242
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,123
‪我们每个人都在吃药

243
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,334
‪但他们没让我吃药

244
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,215
‪有位老师 麦金尼先生...

245
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:46,261
‪麦金尼先生是个白人

246
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722
‪他是个特别“白”的白人

247
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,272
‪白人在想:“婊贝
‪特别‘白’的白人是什么?”

248
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,984
‪就是不喜欢黑人的白人

249
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:03,612
‪特别“白”的白人

250
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,574
‪我当时才上七年级 宝贝

251
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,203
‪大家得明白
‪我来到这个世界时保有的精神

252
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:14,915
‪我他妈就是带着这种精神来的
‪我可不光是惹事

253
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,834
‪我是带着他妈的“拼搏”精神来的

254
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,796
‪我带着这种精神而来:
‪“如果事情不对 婊贝 那就拼了”

255
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:24,216
‪我是带着这种精神来的 对吧?

256
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,011
‪有一天 我们坐在教室里

257
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,973
‪麦金尼先生站起身说:“听好了

258
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,603
‪如果我叫到你的名字
‪就到教室右边去

259
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,649
‪如果我没叫到你的名字

260
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:44,611
‪就到教室左边去”

261
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:49,616
‪就这么一个破左右
‪就花了我们20分钟时间

262
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:56,248
‪我他妈玩得非常开心 “哪边?”

263
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:58,625
‪对吧?

264
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,086
‪等大家都各就各位了

265
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:05,173
‪我注意到所有的白人小孩

266
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,467
‪都在右边

267
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:12,431
‪而所有的黑人小孩都他妈在左边

268
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:18,020
‪他跟白人小孩说:
‪“听着 你们都有彩色书本

269
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,605
‪字谜游戏

270
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,982
‪以及积木

271
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,443
‪你们可以做那些项目”

272
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,446
‪接着他走到了我们面前

273
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,616
‪他说:“至于这边的这个小组...”

274
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,703
‪当那个混蛋说“这个小组...”时

275
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,581
‪噢 马尔科姆艾克斯说:
‪“婊贝 该你上场了”

276
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,626
‪“...这边的这个小组

277
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,963
‪我会教你们如何用正确的语法说话”

278
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,674
‪我他妈举起手来

279
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:52,054
‪麦金尼先生说:“什么事 莫妮枯?”

280
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,855
‪因为老娘不叫那个名字

281
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,859
‪所以老娘继续举着手

282
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:15,077
‪然后那个老白男看着我说:
‪“什么事 莫妮克?”

283
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,662
‪我说:“我得去趟办公室”

284
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:21,666
‪他说:“你为什么要去办公室?”
‪“这样我才能打电话给我爸爸”

285
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,835
‪他说:“你要打电话给你爸爸干嘛?”

286
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,880
‪“这样我才能告诉他你在班里搞分裂

287
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,883
‪你让白人小孩在那边
‪黑人小孩在这边

288
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,052
‪你说你要教我们怎么说话

289
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,971
‪而且小提米刚刚喝了一整瓶胶水”

290
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:44,022
‪宝贝 那个老白男看着我说:

291
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:47,776
‪“小妮子 要是
‪我现在能戴上我的面罩...”

292
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,488
‪然后他一直盯着我

293
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:54,908
‪先祖们曾说过:“婊贝 瞪着丫的

294
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:57,119
‪不要挪开眼

295
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,704
‪别他妈眨眼睛”

296
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:09,714
‪然后他说:“所有人都回自己的座位”

297
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,967
‪好吧 这他妈才对嘛

298
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:15,762
‪那个白人不喜欢我 但老娘坐在前面

299
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:19,182
‪因为我要他丫每天都看着老娘

300
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,977
‪因为我知道他丫有多狡猾 宝贝

301
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:23,812
‪我可不会忍气吞声

302
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,982
‪要是被我知道你有越矩行为
‪妈的 我他妈见一次

303
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,692
‪就要跟你据理力争一次

304
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,403
‪我在念七年级

305
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,325
‪我遇到了一些美好的人

306
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,286
‪我得把话说清楚啊 宝贝

307
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,622
‪我遇到了一些大家认为很特殊
‪但是很美好的人

308
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,792
‪在他们自己的故事和历史中

309
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,254
‪他们是那么美好

310
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,338
‪那么精彩

311
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:54,593
‪我坐在那间教室里 被这些人的美好

312
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,720
‪惊艳得无以复加

313
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,597
‪我坐在前排

314
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:01,141
‪我坐在两个女泼皮旁边

315
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:04,728
‪噢 大家都知道
‪老娘最忍不了的就是霸凌

316
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,147
‪可这俩女泼皮一直在取笑

317
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,191
‪后面戴头盔的那个小婊贝

318
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:13,904
‪可后面戴头盔的小婊贝没惹过任何人

319
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:16,448
‪她一直以来都非常友善
‪她说话都这样

320
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,658
‪我进教室时 她这样...我这样...

321
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:24,581
‪我们就是这样交流的 温馨美好

322
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,126
‪我从没问过头盔的事

323
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,921
‪她也从没说过什么 我们其乐融融

324
00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:34,466
‪所以这两个女泼皮
‪想欺负戴头盔的小婊贝

325
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,092
‪这老娘可忍不了

326
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,345
‪整整一周 她们都在逼叨逼叨

327
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,556
‪说她们要怎么整后面那个戴着头盔

328
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,099
‪箍着下巴带的小婊贝

329
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:46,228
‪我坐在那儿就想:
‪“不 老娘可不会让这种事情发生”

330
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,939
‪我要插手

331
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,150
‪等到星期四

332
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,903
‪我要对付这俩女泼皮

333
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,366
‪我们都是特殊人群 小妞

334
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,994
‪好吧?

335
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:07,082
‪老娘已经在摩拳擦掌了 好吗?
‪老娘已经在摩拳擦掌了

336
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,000
‪于是我跟领头的那泼皮说

337
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,795
‪先搞定领头的泼皮 再去搞跟屁虫

338
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,673
‪她们这俩泼皮 其中一个是领头的

339
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,884
‪另一个是个跟屁虫 领头泼皮说什么

340
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,970
‪跟屁虫泼皮都会说:“嗯哼”

341
00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:22,597
‪这种事让老娘怒火中烧

342
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:27,602
‪等到了星期四 大家准备放学回家了

343
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:32,065
‪我准备好了让这俩女泼皮知道
‪老娘是不会容忍这种事情的

344
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,985
‪我会让这个小姐妹知道
‪你们准备要整

345
00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:36,653
‪带着头盔的妹子了

346
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,697
‪我要去找她们

347
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,699
‪我说:“听好了

348
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,827
‪我明天会告诉她

349
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:47,330
‪你们要整她
‪就因为她戴着那个该死的头盔”

350
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:50,000
‪我想着我已经震慑到领头的泼皮了

351
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,294
‪跟她说些狠话

352
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,381
‪那个泼皮看着我说:
‪“你个肥猪大弱智

353
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,800
‪你要是再不滚开...”

354
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,721
‪我说:“噢!这和我想的回答不一样...

355
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:07,017
‪噢 这娘们儿出人意料!”

356
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,774
‪你们都看到了

357
00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:24,868
‪我没有想到 这两个女泼皮

358
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,536
‪是从巴尔的摩东区来的

359
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:31,666
‪巴尔的摩的人都知道
‪巴尔的摩东区的人全都战斗力爆棚!

360
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:36,087
‪那些人战斗力惊人
‪他们会把人踩在地上

361
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:42,802
‪于是我转身回去
‪我跟天杀的伊丽莎白说:

362
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,346
‪“听好了 伊丽莎白

363
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:48,224
‪那两个女泼皮一直在说你的坏话

364
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:50,352
‪整整一个星期都是

365
00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:54,522
‪等她们回来 你得先把欧莱莎拿下

366
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,025
‪你得先把她揍趴下

367
00:21:57,025 --> 00:22:01,738
‪她回来一问你头盔的事情

368
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,532
‪你就这样看着那个贱人...

369
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,244
‪然后把你戴着头盔的脑袋往后仰

370
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,622
‪然后狠狠撞向那贱人的嘴巴

371
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:13,708
‪拿出你吃奶的力气来 婊贝

372
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:16,711
‪死命撞她的嘴巴 把她牙撞掉”

373
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:18,588
‪那小婊贝看着我说...

374
00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:29,432
‪我说:“什么意思?”

375
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:35,855
‪我停下来看着那小婊贝说:
‪“老娘欣赏你 婊贝!”

376
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:40,652
‪老娘非常欣赏那段嘶吼 婊贝

377
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,282
‪然后麦金尼先生说...

378
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,537
‪“伊丽莎白 别再笑了”

379
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:55,834
‪我心想:“噢 这婊贝的笑声是这样?

380
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,963
‪噢 婊贝 我们一定会
‪相处得很愉快的!”

381
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:06,928
‪从那天起

382
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:09,514
‪直到现在

383
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:14,894
‪伊丽莎白和我一直是最亲密的好闺蜜

384
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:23,236
‪一切的美好就是从这里开始的

385
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:26,072
‪戴着那个头盔

386
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,408
‪伊丽莎白不能说话

387
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:32,620
‪她不会说话

388
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:37,417
‪也不会笑
‪因为我们都知道笑声是什么样的

389
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,588
‪但当她摘下头盔后

390
00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:45,383
‪她说话就和你我一样

391
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:46,968
‪口齿清晰

392
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:52,432
‪她只是无法控制她的颈部

393
00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,212
‪九年级的一天

394
00:24:22,837 --> 00:24:25,757
‪她在卫生间里叫了我的名字
‪让我倍感荣幸

395
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:28,343
‪因为我们都知道我们即将各奔东西

396
00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:30,512
‪我们的友谊不会再像从前那样

397
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:32,931
‪因为我们都太小了
‪无法让我们的父母

398
00:24:32,931 --> 00:24:34,390
‪带我们去见见对方

399
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:38,102
‪九年级的时候 她在卫生间里叫住我

400
00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:42,649
‪她对我这样比着
‪意思是说:“给我一秒钟”

401
00:24:43,274 --> 00:24:46,277
‪她解开了那条该死的下巴带

402
00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:49,989
‪摘下了那个天杀的头盔

403
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,783
‪然后说:“莫妮克...”

404
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:57,413
‪我说:“婊贝 什么?”

405
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:02,460
‪噢 我们当时笑得上气不接下气!

406
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:05,713
‪那婊贝说:
‪“不戴那该死的头盔 我是能说话的”

407
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,141
‪要知道...

408
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:20,770
‪我是在

409
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:26,025
‪真正的黑人街区长大的

410
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:29,112
‪我希望你们能明白 宝贝

411
00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:31,614
‪我是在马里兰州巴尔的摩市

412
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,783
‪真正的黑人街区

413
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:36,035
‪一个传统家庭里长大的

414
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:38,913
‪在真正的黑人街区 第一条规矩就是

415
00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:41,916
‪人不犯我 我不犯人

416
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:46,170
‪因为你不知道自己招惹的是什么人
‪你可能会被收拾得很惨

417
00:25:46,754 --> 00:25:49,591
‪这就是真正的黑人街区的规矩

418
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,677
‪就是让你们知道一下我的出身 宝贝

419
00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:55,346
‪我出身于真正的黑人街区

420
00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:59,017
‪所以有些人找架打的时候
‪他们不知道老娘也是会还手的

421
00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:02,020
‪他们不知道
‪老娘是从刚果来的 朋友们

422
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,105
‪姐可是女金刚

423
00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:09,694
‪要知道...

424
00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:13,239
‪我有个唐纳德舅舅

425
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:18,453
‪我的唐纳德舅舅非常了不起

426
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,580
‪非常厉害

427
00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:23,750
‪我的唐纳德舅舅非常 非常黑

428
00:26:24,417 --> 00:26:26,336
‪非常 非常弯

429
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,965
‪当你出生于1930和1940年代
‪并且非常 非常黑

430
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:32,925
‪还非常 非常弯的时候

431
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:36,929
‪朋友们 你要面对的
‪各种打击简直骇人听闻

432
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:39,974
‪因为如果你非常 非常黑
‪还非常 非常弯

433
00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:43,061
‪你自己的家人
‪都不会愿意和你沾上任何关系

434
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:45,938
‪我看着他们孤立了我的唐纳德舅舅

435
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,441
‪虽然同住一个屋檐下

436
00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:51,486
‪但我看着他们把他扫地出门了

437
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:53,988
‪但该死的 他让我看了那么多好戏

438
00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:58,242
‪因为每个星期五
‪我妈妈都会去她妈妈家

439
00:26:58,242 --> 00:26:59,619
‪去打牌

440
00:26:59,619 --> 00:27:03,706
‪在我说这些人都是赌徒时
‪我想你们能听进去

441
00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:06,084
‪这些人都是赌徒

442
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:11,130
‪我从小和瘾君子、
‪赌徒、酒鬼、妓女生活在一起

443
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:15,051
‪我舅妈现在绝对不会承认
‪但我知道她曾经出卖自己的肉体

444
00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:18,096
‪给一个保险男
‪因为那人一来就会到楼上去

445
00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:21,099
‪“你丫卖的是什么保险 小子?”

446
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:25,061
‪然后她看着我说:
‪“租房保险 小妞” 那好吧

447
00:27:26,062 --> 00:27:27,647
‪我就是在这些人身边长大的

448
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,608
‪他们坐在餐桌上 宝贝

449
00:27:30,608 --> 00:27:33,820
‪我的意思是 桌子中间放着很多钱

450
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:35,738
‪扑克配对、唐克、美国扑克

451
00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:39,826
‪只要能拿来赌的 他们都不会放过

452
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,911
‪而且大家的生活都很拮据

453
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:45,164
‪所以他们都是拿些
‪自己并没有的东西来赌博

454
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:48,668
‪参与者有他们的母亲
‪以及她所有的孩子

455
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,754
‪所以我第一次见到这种事时

456
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,756
‪在夜晚结束时他们会说:

457
00:27:53,756 --> 00:27:57,135
‪“好了 大家算算账
‪把钱收好 我们今天玩得很开心”

458
00:27:57,135 --> 00:27:59,554
‪他们说:“老表 你输了 老表”

459
00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:04,809
‪每个星期五

460
00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:06,686
‪我的唐纳德舅舅

461
00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:08,730
‪都会去酒吧

462
00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:11,399
‪每个星期五 三个黑人 一直是他们仨

463
00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:14,277
‪每周五都会揍他一顿

464
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:17,363
‪拿走他的钱
‪然后把醉醺醺的他送回家

465
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,782
‪我最敬重酒吧那些人的一点

466
00:28:19,782 --> 00:28:21,993
‪就是他们从来不会
‪把他揍一顿 然后抢光光

467
00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:25,413
‪他们会打他一顿
‪然后只拿走够那天晚上喝酒以及

468
00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:26,748
‪打车回家的钱

469
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:28,458
‪他们都是有礼貌的酒鬼 朋友们

470
00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:31,669
‪他们没有把我舅舅揍一顿
‪然后让他一无所有地回家

471
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:33,880
‪他走进家里

472
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,383
‪每个星期五都他妈是这样

473
00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:41,220
‪我坐在餐厅的椅子上 他们在打着牌

474
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,723
‪他从前门走到厨房里

475
00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:45,892
‪距离不远 前门...

476
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:49,187
‪朋友们 厨房

477
00:28:49,854 --> 00:28:53,274
‪在这中间的就是餐厅 好吧?

478
00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:56,194
‪他走进厨房

479
00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:57,945
‪然后拿出一根热狗

480
00:28:57,945 --> 00:29:03,868
‪从袋子里拿出一根热狗
‪用叉子叉住 朋友们

481
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:06,537
‪不是放到锅里煎

482
00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,623
‪是用叉子叉住 然后打开火

483
00:29:08,623 --> 00:29:13,419
‪然后就叉着那根热狗放在火上

484
00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:15,046
‪我心想:“开始吧 舅舅

485
00:29:15,046 --> 00:29:18,007
‪这一幕的每分每秒我都超喜欢”

486
00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:20,092
‪然后他会开始咒骂那些

487
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,970
‪在酒吧揍他的人

488
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:26,224
‪“下周五 我他妈要把你们全打趴下

489
00:29:26,224 --> 00:29:30,394
‪你们惹错人了 我是唐纳德
‪我要把所有人打得落花流水

490
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,522
‪我要揍扁你们 我要揍扁你们的老婆

491
00:29:32,522 --> 00:29:33,856
‪我要揍扁所有人”

492
00:29:33,856 --> 00:29:36,526
‪我说:“对 唐纳德舅舅 揍他们”

493
00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:39,153
‪不过我是一边看戏
‪一边在脑子里说的

494
00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:43,241
‪然后我姥姥说:
‪“唐纳德 这些屁话我已经听够了

495
00:29:43,241 --> 00:29:45,076
‪也许如果这些话你去对着他们说

496
00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:48,287
‪他们就不会每周五都揍你
‪你也能把钱保住了!

497
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:50,122
‪现在 你丫快闭嘴吧!”

498
00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:55,545
‪我的唐纳德舅舅走出厨房

499
00:29:55,545 --> 00:30:00,132
‪朋友们 酒醒了
‪居高临下地站在我姥姥面前

500
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:03,886
‪也就是他老妈 然后说:“妈妈

501
00:30:03,886 --> 00:30:06,138
‪我屌你!”

502
00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:09,350
‪我也是这种反应

503
00:30:10,852 --> 00:30:13,646
‪但我看戏看得非常开心!

504
00:30:13,646 --> 00:30:15,022
‪所以 李丹尼尔斯 听好了

505
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:18,109
‪那晚我说:
‪“老娘要是有的话 我他妈就屌你了”

506
00:30:18,109 --> 00:30:20,736
‪那是在向我舅舅唐纳德致敬 朋友!

507
00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:25,408
‪那是我在对我的唐纳德舅舅说:
‪“老舅 你依然在我心里!”

508
00:30:28,578 --> 00:30:29,787
‪是的 宝贝!

509
00:30:30,288 --> 00:30:33,666
‪那就是我的唐纳德舅舅
‪李 那就是我的唐纳德舅舅!

510
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:37,295
‪当我跟你们说 我是被几个
‪坚强的黑人女性抚养长大的

511
00:30:37,295 --> 00:30:38,588
‪请听我说

512
00:30:39,088 --> 00:30:42,675
‪我是被几个
‪坚强的黑人女性抚养长大的

513
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:45,261
‪我所说的那种力量

514
00:30:45,261 --> 00:30:46,554
‪堪称不可思议

515
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:47,972
‪不容小觑

516
00:30:47,972 --> 00:30:51,100
‪我是被几个
‪非常坚强的黑人女性抚养长大的

517
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,019
‪她们非常坚强

518
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:54,437
‪非常不合时宜

519
00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:55,897
‪非常凄惨

520
00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:57,356
‪非常痛苦

521
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,859
‪非常愤怒 又非常聪明

522
00:30:59,859 --> 00:31:01,569
‪她们集以上所有于一身

523
00:31:01,569 --> 00:31:03,529
‪她们坚不可摧

524
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:05,239
‪直到她们行差踏错

525
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,745
‪所以当时我目睹着那一切

526
00:31:11,245 --> 00:31:12,371
‪作为一个小姑娘

527
00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:15,291
‪你们觉得我会变成一个怎样的女人?

528
00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:19,587
‪你们觉得我为一个男人
‪变成了一个什么样女人?

529
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,969
‪你们想跟我说女强人?

530
00:31:27,470 --> 00:31:30,806
‪如果你们翻开词典 查一下“女强人”

531
00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:34,018
‪那个字块上贴的就是老娘的照片

532
00:31:37,855 --> 00:31:40,441
‪因为我从小接受的就是这种教育

533
00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:44,070
‪我爸爸跟我说:
‪“谁赚钱 谁就说了算”

534
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:47,114
‪而一直以来都是老娘在赚钱

535
00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:50,326
‪所以一切老娘说了算

536
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:52,620
‪这没什么可说的

537
00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:56,123
‪这就是这段感情中被加注的能量

538
00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:58,209
‪以下是真实发生过的对话

539
00:31:58,209 --> 00:32:00,127
‪“那我们九点见

540
00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:05,967
‪车三点钟去接你”

541
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,219
‪大家心照不宣

542
00:32:08,719 --> 00:32:09,845
‪我就是那样

543
00:32:10,346 --> 00:32:13,349
‪所以我结了三次婚

544
00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:17,728
‪别说:“嗯 朋友”
‪别对我评头论足 别那样做

545
00:32:17,728 --> 00:32:18,938
‪别那样做

546
00:32:20,398 --> 00:32:21,649
‪三段婚姻

547
00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:24,360
‪这是我的最后一段

548
00:32:25,236 --> 00:32:27,321
‪但其实也是我的第一段

549
00:32:27,822 --> 00:32:30,282
‪因为这是我第一次知道了自己

550
00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:32,576
‪作为一个黑人妻子的地位

551
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:34,870
‪我们中有很多人都不知道

552
00:32:36,789 --> 00:32:40,876
‪我必须学习 我无意批评什么 朋友们
‪我必须学习自己该怎么做

553
00:32:40,876 --> 00:32:42,753
‪因为我会穿上我的超人披风

554
00:32:43,254 --> 00:32:45,673
‪我会让那玩意儿飘起来 宝贝

555
00:32:45,673 --> 00:32:49,468
‪我还记得
‪当我不得不让我的披风退休的情形

556
00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:54,724
‪一切对我来说就像昨天一样
‪因为我每天都是以女强人模式开启的

557
00:32:54,724 --> 00:32:57,226
‪我一睁开眼就在运筹帷幄

558
00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:59,729
‪那是《帕克家族》的最后一季

559
00:33:00,229 --> 00:33:02,565
‪我是热门电视剧的主演之一

560
00:33:02,565 --> 00:33:04,233
‪-对 没错
‪-来吧 朋友们

561
00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:08,070
‪来啊 朋友们

562
00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:13,909
‪我们是帕克家族

563
00:33:13,909 --> 00:33:15,786
‪很好 宝贝!

564
00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:22,001
‪我起床了

565
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,963
‪我到岗的时间是早上八点

566
00:33:26,714 --> 00:33:28,299
‪我六点就起来了

567
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:30,217
‪我洗了个澡

568
00:33:31,260 --> 00:33:33,971
‪我进去和孩子们玩了一会儿

569
00:33:34,472 --> 00:33:36,515
‪我回来亲了一下我老公

570
00:33:37,016 --> 00:33:40,478
‪我说:“爸爸 等我从片场回来见”

571
00:33:40,978 --> 00:33:43,272
‪他说:“妈妈 祝你今天愉快”

572
00:33:43,773 --> 00:33:49,403
‪我坐进我的豪华双座奔驰敞篷车

573
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:53,699
‪作为女人 我块头可能有点大
‪但老娘不在乎

574
00:33:58,913 --> 00:34:00,623
‪我在车里挤作一团

575
00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:09,715
‪我去到片场
‪跟你们解释一下片场情况

576
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:13,052
‪这样你们才能理解
‪人们是如何迷失自我的

577
00:34:13,052 --> 00:34:15,346
‪我去到片场

578
00:34:15,346 --> 00:34:18,015
‪有个车位写着我的名字

579
00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:23,187
‪我还没把车停好
‪就有人把我的车门打开了

580
00:34:23,187 --> 00:34:26,690
‪把我需要的所有东西
‪从车上拿到了我的化妆间

581
00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,151
‪他们护送我去到我的化妆间

582
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:31,654
‪然后 另一个人来到我的化妆间

583
00:34:31,654 --> 00:34:35,032
‪咚咚敲门 把我带去做头发还有化妆

584
00:34:35,032 --> 00:34:37,952
‪等我弄好头发 化完妆
‪又一个婊贝跑过来说:

585
00:34:37,952 --> 00:34:39,620
‪“衣柜已经为你准备好了”

586
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:43,499
‪等我换好衣服 然后我他妈就上台了

587
00:34:43,499 --> 00:34:46,335
‪开始扮演那个可遇不可求的角色

588
00:34:46,335 --> 00:34:47,920
‪没有人能说 宝贝

589
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,090
‪那个时候的生活是不美好的

590
00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:54,552
‪因为我所梦想的一切 都照进了现实

591
00:34:54,552 --> 00:34:57,179
‪等我们准备要回家时 已经是五点了

592
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:02,268
‪片场部分制作人戴着那种小水晶饰品

593
00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:04,228
‪这些小水晶饰品

594
00:35:04,228 --> 00:35:07,106
‪跟风混蛋就会是这样的结果
‪我不是她

595
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:09,817
‪我不是那种会花一万美元买个包的人

596
00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,819
‪我才不会去买些红鞋底

597
00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:14,530
‪让我的脚疼得死去活来

598
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:16,866
‪我整整两天都很火大

599
00:35:16,866 --> 00:35:19,493
‪因为我的小脚趾
‪还他妈在另一个脚趾上面

600
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:21,412
‪而且我还没办法把丫弄下来

601
00:35:21,412 --> 00:35:24,707
‪老娘不是会做那种事的人 宝贝
‪我这人很简单

602
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:28,335
‪好吧?

603
00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:30,796
‪但他们都有那种水晶小饰品

604
00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:33,883
‪我觉得他们是在给老娘压力

605
00:35:33,883 --> 00:35:37,845
‪“你必须去
‪比佛利购物中心买那种水晶小饰品

606
00:35:37,845 --> 00:35:39,221
‪它太可爱了 是吧?”

607
00:35:39,221 --> 00:35:42,308
‪我是不喜欢这些的
‪但因为那些制作人都有

608
00:35:42,308 --> 00:35:44,768
‪老娘必须给自己弄个水晶饰品

609
00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:48,772
‪这样我才能追上大流 然后说:
‪“婊贝 我买了个水晶饰品哦”

610
00:35:49,273 --> 00:35:50,482
‪对吧?

611
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:52,151
‪于是我上了车

612
00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:56,488
‪我要去比佛利购物中心
‪商店就在那里面

613
00:35:58,324 --> 00:36:00,242
‪我打电话给我老公 我说:“爸爸

614
00:36:00,910 --> 00:36:03,579
‪我先去趟比佛利购物中心再回家

615
00:36:03,579 --> 00:36:06,624
‪我得去趟饰品店” 他说:“逛街愉快

616
00:36:06,624 --> 00:36:09,960
‪慢慢逛” “好嘞 婊贝 回家见”

617
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,796
‪等我上了车 拿出了我的大麻香烟

618
00:36:12,796 --> 00:36:15,049
‪我先说明一下

619
00:36:15,049 --> 00:36:17,843
‪因为你们都想知道
‪我有没有抽大麻?当然有

620
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:21,055
‪这是上帝的馈赠

621
00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:26,185
‪这是耶稣的指令!

622
00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:27,603
‪对吧?

623
00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:30,940
‪我买的是极品
‪我是不会在街上找小混混买的

624
00:36:30,940 --> 00:36:32,858
‪我都是买医药级别的

625
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:36,070
‪老娘在合法之前就在用医药级别的了

626
00:36:36,070 --> 00:36:37,947
‪千真万确

627
00:36:37,947 --> 00:36:39,657
‪所以我买的是好东西 好吧?

628
00:36:39,657 --> 00:36:43,035
‪你去找大麻医生时
‪他说:“莫妮克 哪儿不对劲了?”

629
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:44,745
‪我说:“所有一切

630
00:36:47,998 --> 00:36:51,210
‪把你最好的货给我
‪所有事都让我很闹心”

631
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:55,714
‪噢 他给我的货让人叫绝

632
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:58,008
‪好吧?于是我拿了一点大麻出来

633
00:36:58,008 --> 00:37:00,678
‪我把它拿出来 放在我的秘密夹层里

634
00:37:00,678 --> 00:37:04,181
‪因为我知道
‪在比佛利购物中心会有代客泊车

635
00:37:04,181 --> 00:37:08,394
‪比佛利购物中心的代客泊车
‪我必须吸取教训

636
00:37:08,394 --> 00:37:11,230
‪因为如果你把大麻留在烟灰缸里

637
00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:13,649
‪那些混蛋就会把你的大麻抽掉

638
00:37:13,649 --> 00:37:16,777
‪等他们帮你把车开回来
‪他们看着你时就是一副

639
00:37:16,777 --> 00:37:18,612
‪“我吸嗨了!” 的样子

640
00:37:19,488 --> 00:37:20,698
‪所以有代客泊车时

641
00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:24,368
‪我会把我的大麻放在特殊的夹层里

642
00:37:24,368 --> 00:37:26,120
‪我下了车

643
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,579
‪直奔饰品店

644
00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:29,957
‪那里有各种各样的水晶饰品

645
00:37:29,957 --> 00:37:31,875
‪我进去的时候只有我一个人

646
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:34,086
‪还有个在那儿工作的白人女售货员

647
00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:36,463
‪我进去时 那个贱人没有跟我打招呼

648
00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:38,590
‪这自然是有问题的

649
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:40,759
‪你应该要说:“你好 欢迎光临”

650
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:44,930
‪但我想:“不管这个贱人了
‪老娘要去买水晶饰品

651
00:37:44,930 --> 00:37:48,350
‪因为所有的制作人都他妈有水晶饰品

652
00:37:48,350 --> 00:37:50,436
‪所以我必须忍受她的态度”

653
00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:51,770
‪于是我走过去

654
00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:56,275
‪我看到几个小水晶河马

655
00:37:57,276 --> 00:38:01,322
‪噢 宝贝 我觉得河马是丛林中

656
00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:02,948
‪最性感的动物

657
00:38:02,948 --> 00:38:05,451
‪你们注意过河马走路吗?

658
00:38:05,451 --> 00:38:07,661
‪你们注意过那家伙走路的样子吗?

659
00:38:07,661 --> 00:38:09,747
‪它走路时总是:“宝贝 来啊

660
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:15,461
‪宝贝 我准备好了 宝贝”

661
00:38:16,295 --> 00:38:19,381
‪所以 当我老公跟我说
‪“把那只河马弄过来”时

662
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,675
‪“宝贝 快来拿啊!”

663
00:38:23,552 --> 00:38:24,595
‪美极了

664
00:38:25,095 --> 00:38:26,680
‪我看了一下价格

665
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,225
‪标价写的是525美元

666
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:32,978
‪那玩意儿差不多这么大

667
00:38:33,479 --> 00:38:36,440
‪于是我想:
‪“好了 莫妮克 不要被这个价格吓到

668
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,692
‪婊贝 你可是热门电视剧的主演之一

669
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:43,197
‪一个525美元的
‪水晶饰品你还是买得起的”

670
00:38:43,697 --> 00:38:45,949
‪当我走到收银台...

671
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:49,578
‪那位白人女士帮我结账

672
00:38:49,578 --> 00:38:52,998
‪她从始至终都没有跟我有过眼神接触

673
00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:56,960
‪她就是扫描结账然后说:“5025美元”

674
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:00,547
‪我说:“抱歉 你说什么?”

675
00:39:03,092 --> 00:39:04,551
‪然后她又说了一遍:

676
00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:07,513
‪“我就知道你这个黑妹买不起它”

677
00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:11,725
‪她说:“5025美元”

678
00:39:12,226 --> 00:39:15,646
‪我得让那个贱人知道
‪我不是惠...那女的叫什么来着?

679
00:39:15,646 --> 00:39:17,564
‪《不同的世界》里的惠特莉吉尔伯特

680
00:39:17,564 --> 00:39:20,025
‪她必须证明自己买得起那玩意儿

681
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:21,902
‪婊贝 去你妈的 我不要了 谢谢

682
00:39:21,902 --> 00:39:25,280
‪祝你今天愉快
‪快把那玩意儿放回去吧

683
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:28,075
‪因为老娘要回家了

684
00:39:28,575 --> 00:39:30,077
‪我抽着我的大麻

685
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,163
‪我买的大麻

686
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:36,041
‪会让人觉得很饥渴

687
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:38,127
‪跟上我的思路

688
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:41,130
‪你们都在想:“噢呀呀 婊贝”

689
00:39:42,256 --> 00:39:44,842
‪它会让你的饥渴程度

690
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:47,469
‪更上一层楼

691
00:39:47,970 --> 00:39:51,348
‪不是说你一抽完立刻就饥渴了
‪它会慢慢加剧

692
00:39:51,348 --> 00:39:53,183
‪所以我抽大麻都是

693
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:55,477
‪有策略的

694
00:39:56,937 --> 00:39:59,064
‪因为我要回家了

695
00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:00,691
‪对吧?

696
00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:02,818
‪我到家后

697
00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:08,282
‪那玩意儿就会起效了
‪那玩意儿...起效了

698
00:40:08,782 --> 00:40:11,201
‪到家的时候 我差不多已经到七级了

699
00:40:11,702 --> 00:40:15,205
‪好吧?我还没到那种程度
‪还没有说:“快来嗨”

700
00:40:15,205 --> 00:40:18,542
‪我的状态是:“哦 要命”
‪你们懂我的意思吗?

701
00:40:18,542 --> 00:40:20,002
‪我是那个状态 好吧?

702
00:40:20,002 --> 00:40:23,005
‪那晚我回到家 差不多是七点钟

703
00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:27,384
‪我做的第一件事就是上楼
‪跟我男人打招呼

704
00:40:27,384 --> 00:40:30,012
‪这是我做的第一件事

705
00:40:30,012 --> 00:40:32,723
‪我去到了楼上

706
00:40:32,723 --> 00:40:36,101
‪然后问候了我老公

707
00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:38,770
‪所有人都排在后面

708
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:42,608
‪我外婆很久以前就跟我说过:
‪“你回家以后

709
00:40:42,608 --> 00:40:45,277
‪你老公一定是你第一个要去见的人

710
00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:48,530
‪而当他到家的时候
‪他也应该是你要见的第一个人”

711
00:40:48,530 --> 00:40:51,533
‪所以我遵守了这条规矩 我上楼去

712
00:40:51,533 --> 00:40:53,035
‪问候我老公

713
00:40:53,535 --> 00:40:55,996
‪然后我进去 问候了孩子们

714
00:40:55,996 --> 00:40:58,665
‪然后我下楼 跟家佣打招呼

715
00:40:59,166 --> 00:41:01,043
‪你们听到啦 朋友们 家佣

716
00:41:10,052 --> 00:41:13,388
‪然后我回到楼上
‪和孩子们又玩了一会儿

717
00:41:13,889 --> 00:41:16,058
‪接着我又下楼 然后又上楼

718
00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:17,434
‪我和席德又聊了一会儿

719
00:41:17,434 --> 00:41:19,811
‪接着我又下楼 然后又上楼

720
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,313
‪然后 噢 婊贝

721
00:41:21,313 --> 00:41:24,316
‪大约20分钟后 十级到了

722
00:41:24,316 --> 00:41:26,235
‪老娘状态到了

723
00:41:26,235 --> 00:41:30,614
‪是时候翻云覆雨了

724
00:41:30,614 --> 00:41:33,492
‪这姑娘呢呢喃喃 哼着小曲

725
00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:35,953
‪哦 那只小猫正在抓挠

726
00:41:35,953 --> 00:41:37,829
‪呢喃轻吟 她在说话

727
00:41:50,008 --> 00:41:53,679
‪于是我进了卧室 关上门 宝贝

728
00:41:54,221 --> 00:41:56,515
‪我摆出了我最撩人的姿态

729
00:41:57,140 --> 00:41:58,934
‪你得把右边的屁股撅出来

730
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:00,435
‪对吧?

731
00:42:00,435 --> 00:42:02,729
‪你得把嘴巴张开得恰到好处

732
00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:06,650
‪不是大到可以吹箫
‪但他可能觉得你会吹箫

733
00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:22,874
‪你得喘起来 稍微一点点 别过头

734
00:42:26,545 --> 00:42:29,673
‪我老公看着我说:
‪“妈妈 你在干嘛呢?”

735
00:42:34,845 --> 00:42:38,307
‪我说:“死鬼 我在撩你呢”

736
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,728
‪我说:“我需要你快过来

737
00:42:43,687 --> 00:42:45,981
‪舔舔这颗棒棒糖”

738
00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:51,737
‪那个死鬼说:“不用了 谢谢”

739
00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,535
‪“你这回答可不对哦

740
00:42:58,535 --> 00:43:00,329
‪你不知道是老娘说的算吗 小子?

741
00:43:00,329 --> 00:43:04,541
‪你不知道这房子是我的
‪车子是我的 钱也是我的吗?”

742
00:43:04,541 --> 00:43:06,126
‪我在心里跟自己说:

743
00:43:06,126 --> 00:43:08,503
‪“小子 你丫是不是疯了?”

744
00:43:08,503 --> 00:43:10,380
‪于是我想:“我要再问这小子一次

745
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:14,509
‪给他一个自省的机会”

746
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:16,303
‪于是我恢复了刚刚的姿势

747
00:43:24,227 --> 00:43:25,771
‪“我要你

748
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,315
‪过来这边

749
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:32,402
‪舔舔这颗棒棒糖”

750
00:43:34,237 --> 00:43:37,407
‪那小子说:“也许我说得不太清楚

751
00:43:38,450 --> 00:43:41,328
‪我刚刚说 ‘不用了 谢谢’”

752
00:43:41,828 --> 00:43:44,247
‪“现在老娘很受伤

753
00:43:44,247 --> 00:43:47,209
‪因为你两次都回答错了

754
00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:50,087
‪所以现在我要来硬的了
‪你丫是有什么毛病?

755
00:43:50,087 --> 00:43:53,173
‪在我楼上楼下跑的时候
‪是发生什么事了吗?

756
00:43:53,173 --> 00:43:56,218
‪有人打电话来了?你是什么情况?”

757
00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:58,053
‪他说:“我没什么情况啊”

758
00:43:58,053 --> 00:44:00,514
‪我说:“当我让你过来舔棒棒糖时

759
00:44:00,514 --> 00:44:03,934
‪你肯定是不对劲的”

760
00:44:03,934 --> 00:44:07,646
‪他说:“我一点问题都没有
‪不过我们聊聊这件事吧

761
00:44:07,646 --> 00:44:10,607
‪你早上七点就出门去了

762
00:44:10,607 --> 00:44:14,653
‪你在片场一直待到了五点钟

763
00:44:14,653 --> 00:44:17,072
‪然后你又去了比佛利购物中心

764
00:44:17,072 --> 00:44:18,824
‪然后你回到家

765
00:44:18,824 --> 00:44:24,371
‪你上楼 下楼 又上楼 又下楼

766
00:44:24,371 --> 00:44:26,415
‪现在你要我去舔那个棒棒糖?

767
00:44:26,415 --> 00:44:28,208
‪婊贝 不用了 谢谢”

768
00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:39,094
‪我说:“死鬼 这就是黑人的爱!

769
00:44:39,094 --> 00:44:43,056
‪你应该随时随地都能舔我!
‪这可不是黑人的作风!”

770
00:44:43,056 --> 00:44:45,809
‪现在我的感情受了伤
‪我准备气呼呼 欲求不满地出去

771
00:44:45,809 --> 00:44:48,186
‪他说:“你知道吗 莫妮克?
‪你知道吗?

772
00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:49,229
‪算了

773
00:44:49,730 --> 00:44:51,481
‪你过来吧”

774
00:44:51,982 --> 00:44:54,151
‪我对自己说:“你说得对

775
00:44:54,901 --> 00:44:57,195
‪你最好检讨一下自己 小子”

776
00:44:57,696 --> 00:44:58,989
‪许多男人

777
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,077
‪我走到他面前

778
00:45:04,578 --> 00:45:06,121
‪我站在那儿

779
00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:09,374
‪像个一家之主...

780
00:45:15,088 --> 00:45:17,340
‪我家的女人是眼前那家伙

781
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:19,426
‪我说:“死鬼 你最好快点做”

782
00:45:19,926 --> 00:45:21,595
‪然后他把手

783
00:45:23,013 --> 00:45:24,931
‪放在了我的小妹妹上

784
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,602
‪开始摆弄那颗棒棒糖

785
00:45:28,602 --> 00:45:34,441
‪我说:“对!继续!”

786
00:45:34,441 --> 00:45:37,736
‪然后 在他拿开手时 我知道

787
00:45:37,736 --> 00:45:42,783
‪那个死鬼已经准备好舔棒棒糖了

788
00:45:42,783 --> 00:45:46,161
‪我不知道的是 他会把

789
00:45:46,161 --> 00:45:48,288
‪刚刚弄我棒棒糖的那只手

790
00:45:48,288 --> 00:45:49,831
‪放到了我鼻子下面

791
00:45:49,831 --> 00:45:52,125
‪我说:“死鬼 这是什么玩意儿?

792
00:45:54,544 --> 00:45:57,631
‪这是什么 死鬼?
‪你是要害我吗 死鬼?

793
00:45:58,131 --> 00:45:59,174
‪什么东西?”

794
00:45:59,174 --> 00:46:02,177
‪他说:“宝贝
‪这是你棒棒糖的味道!”

795
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:12,229
‪噢 婊贝 我大为震惊!

796
00:46:12,229 --> 00:46:13,271
‪你们听到了吗?

797
00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:15,649
‪因为那种时候你能怎么说?

798
00:46:15,649 --> 00:46:18,485
‪你无话可说 你什么话都说不出来

799
00:46:18,485 --> 00:46:20,946
‪如果他说
‪上个星期 你的阴部很臭 你可以说:

800
00:46:20,946 --> 00:46:22,781
‪“死鬼 去你妈的 那是上个星期”

801
00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:24,825
‪但那就是当时的事!

802
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,286
‪噢 老娘就此脱下了披风

803
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:30,997
‪我不得不让那披风退出舞台了

804
00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:33,500
‪要知道 我必须得明白的是

805
00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:38,380
‪在我小的时候
‪从来没人跟我谈过卫生的问题

806
00:46:38,380 --> 00:46:41,675
‪我妈妈从来没有跟我说过:

807
00:46:41,675 --> 00:46:43,134
‪“你必须照顾好自己

808
00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:46,638
‪等你长大了
‪一天洗一次澡都他妈是不够的

809
00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:50,100
‪早上和晚上你都必须洗澡

810
00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:53,061
‪如果是八月 婊贝 那就早上、下午、

811
00:46:53,061 --> 00:46:56,398
‪早中午、晚上睡觉前还有深夜都得洗

812
00:46:56,398 --> 00:46:58,567
‪你必须多次清洁身体”

813
00:46:58,567 --> 00:47:00,986
‪从来没人跟我说过这些

814
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:05,031
‪除了我奶奶

815
00:47:05,532 --> 00:47:07,117
‪我爸的母亲

816
00:47:07,617 --> 00:47:09,870
‪我奶奶是我的一切

817
00:47:10,370 --> 00:47:11,955
‪她大概这么高

818
00:47:11,955 --> 00:47:15,709
‪她只比小矮人高几厘米

819
00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:18,044
‪大概这么高 肤色非常深

820
00:47:18,545 --> 00:47:21,882
‪她因此受了很多苦

821
00:47:22,382 --> 00:47:25,218
‪但她会跟我说:
‪“莫妮克 你是上天赐我的宝贝”

822
00:47:25,802 --> 00:47:28,096
‪你们能想象别人跟你这么说吗?

823
00:47:28,597 --> 00:47:30,390
‪“你是上天赐我的宝贝”

824
00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:34,019
‪所以奶奶跟我说什么我都相信

825
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:37,772
‪因为我知道她跟我说的永远都是对的

826
00:47:38,273 --> 00:47:41,192
‪她苦口婆心教我的一切 宝贝

827
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:42,944
‪我都深信不疑

828
00:47:42,944 --> 00:47:46,281
‪在我13岁的时候...
‪我永远不会忘记那次

829
00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:50,076
‪我13岁的时候
‪我奶奶把我叫到她的房间

830
00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:51,369
‪她说:“妮妮...”

831
00:47:52,329 --> 00:47:53,663
‪我说:“奶奶”

832
00:47:54,164 --> 00:47:55,624
‪她说:“坐下”

833
00:47:56,124 --> 00:47:57,667
‪我说:“好的 奶奶”

834
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:58,919
‪她说:“听好了

835
00:47:59,419 --> 00:48:02,797
‪永远不要把别人的老二放进你嘴巴里

836
00:48:03,924 --> 00:48:06,676
‪因为那样它会爆的” 我说:“要命!

837
00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:13,016
‪噢!我永远不会
‪把别人的老二放嘴巴里的

838
00:48:13,016 --> 00:48:15,936
‪我可不希望别人的老二爆掉!”
‪她说:“很好

839
00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:18,229
‪永远别把老二放进嘴巴里”

840
00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:20,857
‪那是我们最后一次聊到

841
00:48:20,857 --> 00:48:23,109
‪吹箫这件事 “别做就对了”

842
00:48:23,693 --> 00:48:26,571
‪所以我从13岁到22岁

843
00:48:26,571 --> 00:48:28,239
‪我从来没帮人吹过萧

844
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,660
‪而我22岁会帮他吹箫的唯一原因

845
00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:33,286
‪是因为他人很好

846
00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:34,704
‪他人很好

847
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:40,794
‪那天晚上 他的内心满溢着善良

848
00:48:40,794 --> 00:48:43,213
‪我们约会了一整天
‪那天是周日 朋友们

849
00:48:43,213 --> 00:48:44,297
‪非常美好

850
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:47,968
‪我们去了小公园
‪我们在港口散步 做了一系列的事情

851
00:48:47,968 --> 00:48:51,972
‪所以当他邀请我去他家时
‪我说:“我当然会去咯”

852
00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:54,516
‪我们回到他家 喝了杯红酒什么的

853
00:48:54,516 --> 00:48:57,102
‪我们促膝长谈 温馨愉快

854
00:48:57,602 --> 00:48:59,980
‪然后他看着我说:“莫妮克?”

855
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:01,898
‪我说:“嗯?”

856
00:49:02,983 --> 00:49:05,193
‪他说:“你介意帮我吹箫吗?”

857
00:49:14,744 --> 00:49:17,080
‪我说:“没问题 我帮你吹箫”

858
00:49:17,914 --> 00:49:22,252
‪这个转折难道不美吗 婊贝?
‪你们看到我们刚刚是什么情况了吗?

859
00:49:25,422 --> 00:49:28,550
‪然后我跟他说:“我先跟你说件事

860
00:49:29,134 --> 00:49:32,220
‪我以前从来没吹过箫”

861
00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:35,181
‪他说:“莫妮克 你不用担心

862
00:49:36,057 --> 00:49:38,309
‪我会教你怎么帮我吹箫的”

863
00:49:39,394 --> 00:49:41,688
‪我心想:“这人怎么这么贴心啊?

864
00:49:43,773 --> 00:49:47,652
‪他要教我怎么帮他吹箫
‪不是随便哪根箫哦”

865
00:49:47,652 --> 00:49:50,321
‪那家伙说:“我会教你怎么帮我吹箫”

866
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:53,241
‪“天呐 多么美好啊”

867
00:49:54,284 --> 00:49:55,660
‪于是他说:“听着

868
00:49:57,579 --> 00:49:59,664
‪当我把老二放进你的嘴巴里

869
00:50:00,957 --> 00:50:03,710
‪你就像啾啾蒸汽火车那样吸它

870
00:50:04,461 --> 00:50:07,672
‪你知道火车出站时候的样子吧?

871
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:09,924
‪它会慢慢启动

872
00:50:10,550 --> 00:50:12,177
‪所以你得慢慢吸”

873
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:22,937
‪他说:“现在火车开始加速了
‪你得加快速度

874
00:50:28,651 --> 00:50:29,736
‪现在全速前进!”

875
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:33,615
‪那家伙说:“啾啾!”

876
00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:38,036
‪而我耳边回响起奶奶说的:
‪“那老二会在你嘴巴里爆掉!”

877
00:50:38,036 --> 00:50:41,456
‪噢 我狠狠地咬了那家伙的老二!

878
00:50:45,835 --> 00:50:48,171
‪那家伙用力地打在了我的头上

879
00:50:48,171 --> 00:50:50,965
‪我他妈倒在了沙发上 婊贝!

880
00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:54,052
‪我知道自己有整整17秒失去了意识

881
00:50:55,595 --> 00:50:57,097
‪等我醒过来时

882
00:50:57,889 --> 00:51:01,309
‪等我醒过来时 我看着那家伙说:
‪“等着坐牢吧 小子

883
00:51:01,309 --> 00:51:05,688
‪你丫坐牢坐定了
‪因为你刚刚袭击我 混蛋!

884
00:51:05,688 --> 00:51:09,275
‪你想把我们 把我们整条街都炸掉!

885
00:51:09,275 --> 00:51:11,361
‪我是不会让你得逞的 混蛋!

886
00:51:11,361 --> 00:51:13,780
‪我要拯救这个街区 混蛋!

887
00:51:15,198 --> 00:51:17,033
‪我要报警!

888
00:51:17,033 --> 00:51:19,786
‪你丫等着坐牢吧!

889
00:51:19,786 --> 00:51:22,789
‪你看看老娘的脑袋 混蛋!坐牢吧!”

890
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:29,212
‪等警察来了!我们都一丝不挂的

891
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,007
‪我们一丝不挂地站在他家

892
00:51:33,007 --> 00:51:34,425
‪我22岁

893
00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:36,427
‪22岁的时候
‪你们会以为我的咪咪很挺拔

894
00:51:36,427 --> 00:51:39,013
‪但我的咪咪跟人家54岁的那种一样

895
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:46,020
‪我的咪咪从来没挺拔过
‪它们是像大猩猩的咪咪那样

896
00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:47,522
‪垂到地上!

897
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:49,816
‪我一丝不挂地站在那里

898
00:51:49,816 --> 00:51:52,235
‪当时来了两个警察

899
00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:55,155
‪一个白人 一个黑人

900
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:58,783
‪他们进来了 那个白人先开口说话了

901
00:51:58,783 --> 00:52:01,870
‪我心想:“小子
‪这人是管事的 你等着坐牢吧!

902
00:52:01,870 --> 00:52:03,204
‪等着坐牢吧!”

903
00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:05,707
‪那个白人警官说:
‪“女士 出什么事了?”

904
00:52:06,207 --> 00:52:10,837
‪我说:“长官 他打我的头!

905
00:52:11,588 --> 00:52:13,631
‪而且我...我好晕

906
00:52:14,424 --> 00:52:16,342
‪我要你们把他抓起来!

907
00:52:16,843 --> 00:52:18,553
‪坐牢 混蛋 坐牢!”

908
00:52:18,553 --> 00:52:21,139
‪白人警官说:“先生

909
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,933
‪转过身去 把手放到身后”

910
00:52:23,933 --> 00:52:25,935
‪我说:“没错 混蛋!坐牢吧 混蛋!”

911
00:52:25,935 --> 00:52:29,147
‪直到那个黑人警官开口了

912
00:52:29,147 --> 00:52:31,983
‪那个黑人警官
‪跟白人警官说:“等一下

913
00:52:31,983 --> 00:52:35,695
‪别铐他”
‪我心想:“噢 这家伙才是管事的”

914
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:40,074
‪那个黑人警官没有问我发生了什么事

915
00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:42,702
‪他跑去问那个臭男人发生了什么事!

916
00:52:42,702 --> 00:52:46,414
‪他说:“先生 跟我说说事情经过”

917
00:52:46,414 --> 00:52:47,957
‪他说:“谢谢你 兄弟”

918
00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:51,878
‪我心想:“噢 他们在这儿打暗号呢”

919
00:52:52,587 --> 00:52:56,090
‪他说:“先生 她刚刚在帮我吹箫”

920
00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:57,884
‪我说:“哦”

921
00:53:01,721 --> 00:53:04,515
‪听起来很尴尬 对吧?

922
00:53:04,515 --> 00:53:08,311
‪“噢 混蛋 太折磨人了!
‪你没必要这么说吧!”

923
00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:10,396
‪因为在那之后 所有人都看着我

924
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:13,233
‪就好像老娘是
‪整条街最后一个妓女似的!

925
00:53:15,068 --> 00:53:18,613
‪然后那老兄说:
‪“抱歉 先生 你刚刚说什么来着?”

926
00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,698
‪“我说她刚刚在帮我吹箫

927
00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:25,495
‪我在教她怎么帮我吹箫

928
00:53:25,495 --> 00:53:27,914
‪就像火车出站那样

929
00:53:27,914 --> 00:53:30,416
‪于是我告诉她
‪等我把老二放进你嘴巴里

930
00:53:30,416 --> 00:53:33,127
‪你就像火车刚开始启动那样吸它”

931
00:53:35,171 --> 00:53:39,801
‪然后我就看到
‪那个黑人警官和那混蛋一起啾啾啾

932
00:53:40,426 --> 00:53:44,597
‪我心想:“噢 这家伙
‪也教过人家怎么帮他吹箫

933
00:53:44,597 --> 00:53:45,556
‪该死!”

934
00:53:47,392 --> 00:53:50,019
‪等他解释完

935
00:53:50,019 --> 00:53:52,313
‪我看着那两个警官说:

936
00:53:52,313 --> 00:53:54,816
‪“听着 这混蛋是个恐怖分子

937
00:53:54,816 --> 00:53:57,819
‪他是个恐怖分子 他藏有炸弹

938
00:53:57,819 --> 00:54:00,822
‪你们必须得把他关起来!
‪立刻马上 形势非常严峻!”

939
00:54:00,822 --> 00:54:04,075
‪他们说:“女士
‪炸弹在哪里?爆炸物在哪里?”

940
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:05,743
‪我说:“在他的老二里!

941
00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:07,829
‪他的老二里装满了炸弹!

942
00:54:07,829 --> 00:54:09,205
‪装满了炸弹!

943
00:54:09,205 --> 00:54:12,208
‪他要炸掉整条街!
‪我刚刚救了所有人!

944
00:54:12,208 --> 00:54:13,960
‪我是个大英雄!

945
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,003
‪快把他抓走!”

946
00:54:16,963 --> 00:54:19,507
‪那个黑人警官拿起对讲机

947
00:54:19,507 --> 00:54:21,384
‪他说:“我们这儿有个情障者”

948
00:54:23,219 --> 00:54:27,849
‪我他妈不知道情障者是什么鬼
‪于是我开始脑补

949
00:54:27,849 --> 00:54:30,101
‪这里有个情动障碍不勃者

950
00:54:30,101 --> 00:54:31,686
‪“不是这样的 长官

951
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:33,396
‪他的老二里面有炸弹

952
00:54:33,396 --> 00:54:34,897
‪他要把我们都炸死!”

953
00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:37,567
‪他说:“情障者 快来!”

954
00:54:37,567 --> 00:54:40,737
‪等负责情障者的人到了以后

955
00:54:40,737 --> 00:54:44,949
‪那是“情绪...障碍患者”的简称

956
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,743
‪我说:“这人是谁?”

957
00:54:48,161 --> 00:54:51,664
‪宝贝 在他们给我穿上约束服

958
00:54:52,999 --> 00:54:55,918
‪把我带到精神病病区时

959
00:54:55,918 --> 00:54:57,879
‪我身上连条内裤都没有

960
00:54:57,879 --> 00:55:00,131
‪我身上只有
‪那件约束服和我的小翘臀!

961
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:09,140
‪他们把我关了72个小时 给我做评估

962
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:13,019
‪我隔壁的那个姐们儿说:
‪“你是为什么进来的?”

963
00:55:13,019 --> 00:55:15,438
‪我说:“婊贝 我救了整个街区!

964
00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:20,902
‪那混蛋的老二已经准备要爆炸了
‪然后我咬了他!”

965
00:55:20,902 --> 00:55:24,864
‪她说:“我也是因为这个进来的
‪我奶奶跟我说过同样的话”

966
00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:30,286
‪我从那里出来后

967
00:55:30,787 --> 00:55:32,163
‪我直接

968
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,707
‪冲去了我奶奶家里

969
00:55:36,584 --> 00:55:37,919
‪我说:“奶奶

970
00:55:38,586 --> 00:55:39,754
‪你跟我说

971
00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:44,175
‪要是我把老二放进嘴里

972
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,261
‪它就会爆炸”

973
00:55:47,887 --> 00:55:49,680
‪然后我奶奶就笑了

974
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:55,686
‪她说:“噢 妮妮
‪总有一天你会明白的”

975
00:55:56,187 --> 00:56:00,066
‪我蒂娜叔叔经过
‪然后说:“这就是我当拉拉的原因”

976
00:56:08,533 --> 00:56:10,743
‪对 没错 看吧
‪我就是在这些人身边长大的

977
00:56:11,244 --> 00:56:13,079
‪我就是在这些人身边长大的 宝贝

978
00:56:13,079 --> 00:56:16,791
‪我就是在他们身边长大的
‪当我告诉你们我奶奶

979
00:56:18,084 --> 00:56:19,293
‪非常了不起...

980
00:56:20,086 --> 00:56:21,337
‪对吧?

981
00:56:21,337 --> 00:56:24,549
‪这女人对我 就像太阳
‪贴心地等我醒了才升起来一样

982
00:56:25,049 --> 00:56:27,510
‪而且它一直等我睡下 才徐徐落下

983
00:56:28,010 --> 00:56:30,430
‪如果我凌晨三点醒来说:

984
00:56:30,430 --> 00:56:32,723
‪“奶奶 我饿了”

985
00:56:33,224 --> 00:56:37,103
‪我奶奶就会起来
‪帮我炸三个酥脆的鸡翅膀

986
00:56:38,813 --> 00:56:42,608
‪再配上土豆泥 朋友们
‪不是盒装的那种 是她亲自煮的

987
00:56:42,608 --> 00:56:45,570
‪一些豆角还有两片白面包

988
00:56:45,570 --> 00:56:48,156
‪这就是老娘现在会这么胖的原因
‪她把我喂得太好了

989
00:56:48,656 --> 00:56:51,617
‪然后她会带我上楼 把我安置在床上

990
00:56:53,327 --> 00:56:55,746
‪她会坐在那儿陪我入睡

991
00:56:56,497 --> 00:57:01,252
‪等我醒来时 她也一定会坐在我身边

992
00:57:01,836 --> 00:57:04,130
‪在她眼里 我就是一切

993
00:57:05,006 --> 00:57:07,341
‪我奶奶有个女儿

994
00:57:08,384 --> 00:57:12,013
‪但我们都叫她蒂娜叔叔

995
00:57:14,140 --> 00:57:16,267
‪你们中有些人
‪就像是我特殊教育班的同学啊

996
00:57:16,267 --> 00:57:18,769
‪你们都是一副“她啥意思?”的样子

997
00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:23,733
‪我的蒂娜叔叔 如果她现在来到这里

998
00:57:23,733 --> 00:57:25,985
‪你们会觉得自己看到的是一个真男人

999
00:57:26,652 --> 00:57:27,987
‪她留着大胡子

1000
00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:30,865
‪她穿了束胸衣

1001
00:57:30,865 --> 00:57:34,869
‪她在裤子里放了些什么东西
‪让她看起来就像有个老二一样

1002
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:37,288
‪而且她穿的都是男装男鞋

1003
00:57:37,288 --> 00:57:40,791
‪我蒂娜叔叔整个人就像个男人

1004
00:57:41,292 --> 00:57:45,046
‪所以你们这些LGBTQ人士

1005
00:57:45,046 --> 00:57:46,547
‪我要你们听好了

1006
00:57:46,547 --> 00:57:51,886
‪我尊重这里的每一个人
‪希望你们都有足够的自由活出真我

1007
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:54,180
‪我尊重那些会说:

1008
00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:56,682
‪“我才不在意你怎么想 怎么说

1009
00:57:56,682 --> 00:57:58,809
‪我会走我自己的路” 的人

1010
00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:02,188
‪当你们遇到那些瞎逼逼的人

1011
00:58:02,188 --> 00:58:03,773
‪那些好奇得要死的人

1012
00:58:03,773 --> 00:58:07,318
‪请理解 他们就是
‪想了解一下真实的情况

1013
00:58:07,318 --> 00:58:10,196
‪他们才弯得最厉害
‪所以不要生气或者觉得被冒犯

1014
00:58:10,196 --> 00:58:13,533
‪只要记得 他们是想被插就行了!

1015
00:58:17,453 --> 00:58:20,164
‪我奶奶接受不了

1016
00:58:20,957 --> 00:58:24,085
‪她有个...同性恋女儿

1017
00:58:25,253 --> 00:58:27,338
‪她只能私下里爱她

1018
00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:30,299
‪她不能大大方方地爱她

1019
00:58:31,259 --> 00:58:33,928
‪因为教会禁锢了她的思想

1020
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:37,890
‪我们社区那个天杀的教会

1021
00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:41,310
‪祸害我们 拆散家人

1022
00:58:41,310 --> 00:58:43,729
‪无所不用其极

1023
00:58:43,729 --> 00:58:46,107
‪而且他们还会以耶稣的名义那样做

1024
00:58:46,107 --> 00:58:49,193
‪我亲眼见证了这种事
‪发生在我亲爱的奶奶身上

1025
00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:53,114
‪她就是接受不了自己有个

1026
00:58:53,114 --> 00:58:55,157
‪同性恋女儿 宝贝

1027
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:57,827
‪她们一起出去时 我会看着她们

1028
00:58:58,327 --> 00:59:02,039
‪我姑姑连呼吸都会让我奶奶闹心

1029
00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:04,959
‪“你干嘛那样喘气?”
‪我说:“什么玩意儿?

1030
00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:06,460
‪她是该憋着不喘气吗?

1031
00:59:07,336 --> 00:59:09,130
‪那样就能治好她的性向啦?”

1032
00:59:15,094 --> 00:59:16,679
‪而我的蒂娜叔叔...

1033
00:59:18,264 --> 00:59:21,601
‪对我...这么一个小姑娘 非常坦诚

1034
00:59:21,601 --> 00:59:24,812
‪因为他们知道我不会评头论足

1035
00:59:24,812 --> 00:59:26,897
‪我不知道该怎么去评论别人

1036
00:59:27,648 --> 00:59:30,484
‪我只知道你怎么对我 我就怎么对你

1037
00:59:30,484 --> 00:59:33,195
‪而我蒂娜叔叔对我非常好

1038
00:59:33,195 --> 00:59:35,281
‪对 作为一个小姑娘

1039
00:59:35,281 --> 00:59:38,367
‪有一年圣诞节 我大约七岁

1040
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,496
‪大人都在餐厅 我在厨房里

1041
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:45,124
‪孩子们在客厅里玩玩具

1042
00:59:45,124 --> 00:59:46,876
‪老娘为什么会在厨房里?

1043
00:59:46,876 --> 00:59:49,962
‪好吧 婊贝 因为我在那儿 对吧?

1044
00:59:49,962 --> 00:59:51,839
‪派、饼干、蛋糕 还有各种东西 婊贝

1045
00:59:51,839 --> 00:59:53,424
‪我在厨房里

1046
00:59:53,966 --> 00:59:54,842
‪好吧?

1047
00:59:55,468 --> 00:59:59,138
‪我的蒂娜叔叔来到厨房
‪她说:“妮妮”

1048
00:59:59,805 --> 01:00:00,973
‪我说:“姑姑?”

1049
01:00:01,891 --> 01:00:03,434
‪她说:“我是拉拉”

1050
01:00:04,852 --> 01:00:06,187
‪我说:“我也是”

1051
01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:13,944
‪因为她说得太动听了 好吧?
‪我说:“婊贝 我也是 我也是那个”

1052
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:16,697
‪然后她说:“不

1053
01:00:16,697 --> 01:00:18,616
‪我是个攻”

1054
01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:25,373
‪“我也是!我也是个攻”

1055
01:00:25,873 --> 01:00:29,293
‪然后她说:“妮妮 我会操女人”

1056
01:00:30,336 --> 01:00:31,587
‪我说:“好吧”

1057
01:00:37,176 --> 01:00:39,053
‪因为这话我接不了

1058
01:00:39,053 --> 01:00:41,263
‪这话我接不上了

1059
01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:57,321
‪我眼看着这两个女人苦苦挣扎

1060
01:00:59,782 --> 01:01:03,953
‪我看着她们苦苦挣扎
‪直到我奶奶离开了人世

1061
01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:08,624
‪而她们就是...没法好好相处

1062
01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:11,669
‪因为她觉得自己很失败

1063
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,381
‪因为她把一个同性恋宝宝
‪带到了这个世界上

1064
01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:21,429
‪那个教会忽悠她相信了
‪她女儿是种罪孽 好吧?

1065
01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:24,140
‪而她就是那样对她的

1066
01:01:25,099 --> 01:01:27,435
‪想象一下我作为一个孩子 有多困惑

1067
01:01:27,435 --> 01:01:30,855
‪因为这里
‪这个女人 对我来说 该死的

1068
01:01:30,855 --> 01:01:32,815
‪我就是一切

1069
01:01:33,649 --> 01:01:35,735
‪但你针对的那个人

1070
01:01:37,069 --> 01:01:39,405
‪你不能拥抱她

1071
01:01:39,405 --> 01:01:41,407
‪因为她本来的样子

1072
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:44,160
‪我看着她们苦苦挣扎

1073
01:01:44,744 --> 01:01:46,662
‪我看着她们苦苦挣扎

1074
01:01:46,662 --> 01:01:51,667
‪我奶奶走了以后
‪蒂娜叔叔就成了一个无家可归的酒鬼

1075
01:01:52,543 --> 01:01:55,838
‪因为她不明白

1076
01:01:55,838 --> 01:01:57,965
‪她妈妈为什么

1077
01:01:57,965 --> 01:02:02,928
‪不能给她她需要的爱 好吧?

1078
01:02:04,305 --> 01:02:05,473
‪而我觉得...

1079
01:02:08,601 --> 01:02:10,644
‪我奶奶走的时候

1080
01:02:11,228 --> 01:02:13,147
‪我觉得自己像个胆小鬼

1081
01:02:16,025 --> 01:02:18,194
‪因为我没能告诉我奶奶

1082
01:02:19,779 --> 01:02:22,198
‪她孙女真实的样子

1083
01:02:23,908 --> 01:02:26,660
‪因为我不希望她只能在私底下爱我

1084
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:31,040
‪我喜欢她对我的爱

1085
01:02:31,540 --> 01:02:34,543
‪当我们去到商店里
‪如果杂志封面上有我

1086
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:38,506
‪她一定会让全商店的人都知道

1087
01:02:38,506 --> 01:02:40,674
‪我是她孙女

1088
01:02:41,175 --> 01:02:43,427
‪我是上天赐给她的宝贝

1089
01:02:46,472 --> 01:02:48,682
‪所以我不能告诉我奶奶

1090
01:02:49,391 --> 01:02:51,101
‪我心里的秘密

1091
01:02:52,144 --> 01:02:54,021
‪还有我的幻想

1092
01:02:56,398 --> 01:02:58,609
‪因为我不希望她

1093
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:03,405
‪只能在私底下爱我
‪我不希望她离开人世时

1094
01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:05,574
‪觉得自己很失败

1095
01:03:06,492 --> 01:03:08,244
‪因为如果我告诉她...

1096
01:03:10,162 --> 01:03:11,872
‪我心里的秘密...

1097
01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:17,878
‪她走的时候就会觉得

1098
01:03:18,712 --> 01:03:19,964
‪自己很失败

1099
01:03:21,298 --> 01:03:25,219
‪我知道你们现在看着我
‪都在想:“等等 婊贝

1100
01:03:28,264 --> 01:03:30,683
‪你他妈是个拉拉?”

1101
01:03:31,851 --> 01:03:34,812
‪不 我不是...不全是

1102
01:03:42,570 --> 01:03:46,991
‪我不能大声告诉她

1103
01:03:46,991 --> 01:03:49,410
‪你们知道保守一个秘密有多难吗?

1104
01:03:51,579 --> 01:03:53,372
‪秘密会导致癌症

1105
01:03:59,420 --> 01:04:02,965
‪你们中有些人也有秘密
‪大家都一副:“拜托别看我”的样子

1106
01:04:02,965 --> 01:04:05,175
‪“只要我张开嘴

1107
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:07,261
‪这破事就快冲口而出了 秘密!”

1108
01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,974
‪但如果你生来就是那样

1109
01:04:13,142 --> 01:04:15,978
‪很显然 你对此也无能为力

1110
01:04:16,645 --> 01:04:17,730
‪无能为力

1111
01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:20,691
‪请大家明白 我努力过了

1112
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:24,361
‪我努力试过要摆脱它
‪宝贝 你们都听好了

1113
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:26,947
‪我努力想要摆脱它

1114
01:04:26,947 --> 01:04:29,450
‪因为我不希望被人当成一个有病的人

1115
01:04:29,450 --> 01:04:30,743
‪或者觉得我有什么问题

1116
01:04:30,743 --> 01:04:34,580
‪所以我尽我所能和尽量多的男人上床

1117
01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:38,334
‪我不是妓女 但是

1118
01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:41,879
‪我的生活是有点乱 朋友们

1119
01:04:41,879 --> 01:04:43,672
‪我是有点婊

1120
01:04:43,672 --> 01:04:47,927
‪妮基帕克说:“嘿 奥格莱维教授!”

1121
01:04:47,927 --> 01:04:51,138
‪世上的男人数不胜数哦 朋友们!

1122
01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:58,896
‪但我一直保守着这个秘密
‪我向自己保证

1123
01:04:58,896 --> 01:05:00,814
‪我永远不会告诉任何人

1124
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,401
‪我会把它带进坟墓里

1125
01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:08,864
‪因为我见识过他们是如何对待

1126
01:05:09,698 --> 01:05:12,493
‪我们家里有那种疾病的人的

1127
01:05:12,993 --> 01:05:16,372
‪因为他们让我们相信那是种疾病

1128
01:05:16,872 --> 01:05:18,040
‪对吧?

1129
01:05:18,999 --> 01:05:22,628
‪有天晚上 那种欲望如此强烈

1130
01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:25,339
‪我在床上睡着了

1131
01:05:26,298 --> 01:05:28,884
‪那小东西不断地撩拨着我

1132
01:05:28,884 --> 01:05:31,178
‪好像在说:“阴部 阴部”

1133
01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:40,187
‪我躺在床上 万分恐惧 因为

1134
01:05:40,688 --> 01:05:42,523
‪这是我第三个老公

1135
01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:44,316
‪好吧?

1136
01:05:45,317 --> 01:05:47,152
‪这是第三个 宝贝

1137
01:05:47,903 --> 01:05:49,363
‪这一个...

1138
01:05:52,199 --> 01:05:54,201
‪在我身处低谷时依然爱我

1139
01:05:54,702 --> 01:05:56,912
‪就好像我身处巅峰一样

1140
01:05:57,413 --> 01:05:59,331
‪这一个 宝贝...

1141
01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:05,462
‪他给了我这地球上任何人都未曾

1142
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:08,007
‪给过我的感觉

1143
01:06:08,007 --> 01:06:09,466
‪这一个就是这样

1144
01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:12,469
‪有些黑人女性会问:
‪“你为什么叫他爸爸?”

1145
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:15,931
‪我来告诉你们为什么吧
‪我会解释清楚 因为他让我强大

1146
01:06:15,931 --> 01:06:18,851
‪我来告诉你们
‪我为什么叫那个黑人“爸爸”

1147
01:06:18,851 --> 01:06:21,478
‪那个黑人给了我

1148
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:24,982
‪我父亲要么不知道怎么给予我
‪要么根本懒得给我的一切

1149
01:06:24,982 --> 01:06:27,151
‪所以我才会叫那个黑人“爸爸”

1150
01:06:27,151 --> 01:06:30,779
‪如果有个人
‪他让你的所有错误都变成了对的...

1151
01:06:31,780 --> 01:06:35,701
‪宝贝 那天晚上
‪我躺在床上 惊慌失措...

1152
01:06:37,036 --> 01:06:38,620
‪我惊慌失措

1153
01:06:39,371 --> 01:06:42,624
‪因为我在对自己说:
‪“这可不是他结婚的时候想要的”

1154
01:06:43,834 --> 01:06:47,379
‪他娶的人是你 婊贝
‪不是你外加另一个小婊贝

1155
01:06:56,055 --> 01:06:57,389
‪所以你要怎么办?

1156
01:06:57,973 --> 01:07:01,435
‪那种时候 当你躺在一个
‪比你自己还要了解你的人身边时

1157
01:07:01,435 --> 01:07:04,605
‪你要怎么办?

1158
01:07:04,605 --> 01:07:07,316
‪因为你小时候 他们对你的关注

1159
01:07:07,316 --> 01:07:10,402
‪远远超过了你对自己的关注

1160
01:07:10,402 --> 01:07:11,904
‪我躺在床上

1161
01:07:11,904 --> 01:07:14,156
‪那个秘密把我压得喘不过气来

1162
01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:18,035
‪它让我的身、心、灵魂都很煎熬

1163
01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:21,455
‪因为我觉得我不能和任何人诉说
‪这个我与生俱来的东西

1164
01:07:21,455 --> 01:07:24,249
‪我不得不把那家伙
‪从睡梦中叫醒 宝贝

1165
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,919
‪我很害怕 因为我说:
‪“拜托 我跟你说了以后

1166
01:07:26,919 --> 01:07:28,420
‪请别离开我

1167
01:07:29,463 --> 01:07:31,381
‪因为那样我会活不下去的

1168
01:07:31,882 --> 01:07:34,176
‪但我必须告诉你
‪宝贝 因为你很了解我

1169
01:07:34,176 --> 01:07:35,969
‪不对劲的时候你会看得出来

1170
01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:38,889
‪而多年来 有件事一直都不对劲”

1171
01:07:39,932 --> 01:07:43,227
‪但因为我是个名人 是个明星

1172
01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:45,187
‪我可以把它掩饰得很好

1173
01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:47,523
‪我可以用我光鲜的一面来掩饰它

1174
01:07:47,523 --> 01:07:50,692
‪但那天晚上 面具掉了

1175
01:07:52,611 --> 01:07:54,446
‪我不得不叫醒他

1176
01:07:56,156 --> 01:07:58,742
‪我说:“爸爸 我得告诉你件事”

1177
01:07:59,868 --> 01:08:01,954
‪他说:“妈妈 怎么了?”

1178
01:08:02,913 --> 01:08:04,706
‪我说:“我有个秘密

1179
01:08:06,959 --> 01:08:11,547
‪答应我 我说完以后你不会离开我”

1180
01:08:13,090 --> 01:08:16,051
‪他说:“莫妮克 不管你跟我说什么事

1181
01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:19,179
‪我都不会离开你的”

1182
01:08:21,181 --> 01:08:22,516
‪我说:“行

1183
01:08:23,350 --> 01:08:24,810
‪那我说了”

1184
01:08:24,810 --> 01:08:28,147
‪我说:“爸爸...” 他说:“等一下 婊贝

1185
01:08:31,525 --> 01:08:33,777
‪你是不是杀人了 婊贝?”

1186
01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:38,824
‪我说:“没有 死鬼 我他妈没杀人”

1187
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,034
‪他说:“那就行 你说吧”

1188
01:08:44,997 --> 01:08:46,415
‪我说:“爸爸...”

1189
01:08:47,332 --> 01:08:49,960
‪我心跳加速 因为这是我第一次

1190
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:53,714
‪准备要跟别人说这件事

1191
01:08:57,926 --> 01:08:59,344
‪我说:“爸爸

1192
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:04,391
‪我想和另一个女人发生性关系”

1193
01:09:06,143 --> 01:09:08,103
‪他看着我

1194
01:09:08,729 --> 01:09:12,524
‪那么美好 充满耐心 爱意满溢...

1195
01:09:14,151 --> 01:09:16,320
‪然后说:“婊贝 我也是!”

1196
01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:22,409
‪他说:“你要是找到了那女的
‪我们就一起上她!

1197
01:09:22,910 --> 01:09:26,622
‪这就是困扰了你这么多年的事情?”

1198
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:29,374
‪他说:“小妹妹最棒了!”

1199
01:09:29,374 --> 01:09:34,046
‪我说:“死鬼 可不是嘛!”
‪他说:“婊贝 去找妹子吧!”

1200
01:09:40,302 --> 01:09:43,472
‪然后我跟自己说:
‪“我必须让它继续活在幻想里

1201
01:09:45,265 --> 01:09:47,935
‪我必须让它继续活在幻想里
‪因为我知道自己是什么样的

1202
01:09:48,477 --> 01:09:51,438
‪LGBTQ群体中会谈论我

1203
01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:54,483
‪他们会谈论我
‪然后说:‘那女人想要争取平等

1204
01:09:54,483 --> 01:09:56,860
‪但她却不愿意平等待人’”

1205
01:09:59,863 --> 01:10:02,199
‪因为你帮我舔完以后 婊贝 谢啦

1206
01:10:06,703 --> 01:10:08,789
‪“你要来点咖啡什么的吗?”

1207
01:10:10,916 --> 01:10:13,877
‪“不用了 女士”

1208
01:10:14,670 --> 01:10:17,381
‪“别把你的小妹...不要!”

1209
01:10:19,007 --> 01:10:22,594
‪“莫妮克 我让你爽了
‪婊贝 我谢谢你啊!

1210
01:10:23,178 --> 01:10:25,222
‪你很善良

1211
01:10:26,223 --> 01:10:28,225
‪你很聪明

1212
01:10:28,767 --> 01:10:31,812
‪你很重要!”

1213
01:10:33,522 --> 01:10:35,232
‪有人问我...

1214
01:10:36,692 --> 01:10:38,235
‪“你是怎么

1215
01:10:39,528 --> 01:10:40,862
‪坚持下去的?

1216
01:10:41,905 --> 01:10:44,283
‪婊贝 你是怎么

1217
01:10:44,783 --> 01:10:46,118
‪持续下去的?”

1218
01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:50,747
‪因为你生来就是个胖嘟嘟的黑人女孩

1219
01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:54,418
‪你只想大家认可你 接纳你

1220
01:10:54,418 --> 01:10:56,670
‪这是你的全部所求

1221
01:10:56,670 --> 01:11:00,424
‪你只希望别人能认可你

1222
01:11:00,424 --> 01:11:04,261
‪你愿意竭尽所能来换取那份认可

1223
01:11:04,261 --> 01:11:06,847
‪你拼命想要得到认可

1224
01:11:06,847 --> 01:11:09,182
‪我年长了一些后 我说:
‪“你知道吗?莫妮克

1225
01:11:09,182 --> 01:11:13,729
‪你要做的就是接受一切 顺其自然”

1226
01:11:13,729 --> 01:11:15,731
‪所以我不得不接受一个现实

1227
01:11:16,356 --> 01:11:20,027
‪我父亲是个该死的酒鬼

1228
01:11:20,027 --> 01:11:22,237
‪而且确实根本不在意他的家人

1229
01:11:22,237 --> 01:11:24,323
‪我不得不接受一个现实

1230
01:11:24,323 --> 01:11:27,326
‪我妈妈是个天杀的赌徒

1231
01:11:27,326 --> 01:11:29,870
‪她可以把所有东西都拿去赌

1232
01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:31,830
‪我不得不接受一个现实

1233
01:11:31,830 --> 01:11:34,624
‪我大哥是个该死的猥亵犯

1234
01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:37,544
‪我不得不接受一个现实
‪我另一个兄弟

1235
01:11:37,544 --> 01:11:41,256
‪以我的名义冒签文件 毁坏我的名声

1236
01:11:41,256 --> 01:11:44,092
‪我不做评判 事实就是如此

1237
01:11:44,092 --> 01:11:48,722
‪这些事让我有了能力
‪去接受别人对我的无端指责

1238
01:11:48,722 --> 01:11:52,100
‪当有人跟我说:
‪“你不是大卫查普尔

1239
01:11:52,100 --> 01:11:54,311
‪你不是艾米舒默

1240
01:11:54,311 --> 01:11:56,480
‪你不是克里斯洛克”时

1241
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:58,648
‪这些混蛋说得对

1242
01:11:58,648 --> 01:12:01,818
‪因为我叫莫妮克

1243
01:12:13,747 --> 01:12:17,000
{\an8}‪(我爱你 莫妮克)

1244
01:12:38,063 --> 01:12:48,615
‪莫妮克!

1245
01:15:43,415 --> 01:15:48,420
- ‪字幕翻译:
- Zeo Niu