1 00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:34,405 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 2 00:01:25,223 --> 00:01:27,443 VOICEMAIL: The person you are trying to reach-- 3 00:01:27,443 --> 00:01:29,213 SAM: Sam. 4 00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:30,533 [COUGH] Sam. 5 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:32,553 VOICEMAIL:--is currently unavailable. 6 00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:34,553 Please leave your message after the beep. 7 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,913 [BEEP] (OFF) MEG: Hey, Sam. 8 00:01:35,913 --> 00:01:36,713 It's your mom. 9 00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:37,553 Psych! 10 00:01:37,553 --> 00:01:38,543 It's your therapist. 11 00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:39,633 Don't get your hopes up. 12 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,943 I have to push our session. 13 00:01:40,943 --> 00:01:43,130 I had some last minute shopping. 14 00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,963 You're probably at your little theater, so-- 15 00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:47,643 I don't know-- write some more plays or something. 16 00:01:47,643 --> 00:01:48,443 Bye-bye. 17 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,025 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 18 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:57,973 SHELDON: Enter. 19 00:01:57,973 --> 00:01:59,833 Come on in, Sam. 20 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:02,213 Sit down. 21 00:02:02,213 --> 00:02:05,813 Well, I bet you're wondering, oh, what's going on? 22 00:02:05,813 --> 00:02:06,683 Yes, yes. 23 00:02:06,683 --> 00:02:08,141 See, that's theater-- 24 00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:09,853 palpable tension. 25 00:02:09,853 --> 00:02:11,603 Um, are you still doing my play? 26 00:02:11,603 --> 00:02:15,806 Because I love writing plays and being around actors. 27 00:02:15,806 --> 00:02:16,763 [LAUGHS] 28 00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:18,873 Of course, rain's coming in. 29 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:19,673 Yes. 30 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,633 Here's the new draft. 31 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:23,213 Ah, great. 32 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:26,153 Well, you sure do love Southerners, don't you? 33 00:02:26,153 --> 00:02:28,373 They kind of shoot from the hip in a way 34 00:02:28,373 --> 00:02:31,073 that I respond to, and in a way I kind 35 00:02:31,073 --> 00:02:32,363 of wish I was more like that. 36 00:02:32,363 --> 00:02:35,093 Greggy Thompson was slated to direct. 37 00:02:35,093 --> 00:02:36,372 The great Greggy, yeah. 38 00:02:36,372 --> 00:02:37,174 Was? 39 00:02:37,174 --> 00:02:38,448 But we have decided 40 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:41,693 that we want you, the scribe. 41 00:02:41,693 --> 00:02:42,733 To direct? No. 42 00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:43,533 Yes. 43 00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:44,423 Oh, no. 44 00:02:44,423 --> 00:02:46,523 I'm not someone who could do that. 45 00:02:46,523 --> 00:02:50,233 I think that there's got to be someone better. 46 00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,153 I'm trying to think. 47 00:02:51,153 --> 00:02:52,813 Um, Darlene O'Donnell? 48 00:02:52,813 --> 00:02:53,613 She could be good. 49 00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:55,443 She's got a gig off-Broadway. 50 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:58,563 Oh, April Slattery is really talented. 51 00:02:58,563 --> 00:03:00,235 Had a baby a week ago. 52 00:03:00,235 --> 00:03:02,193 Sheldon, I'm beginning to feel like I 53 00:03:02,193 --> 00:03:04,659 wasn't your first choice here. 54 00:03:04,659 --> 00:03:06,123 [LAUGHS] 55 00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:09,543 [AWKWARD CHUCKLING] 56 00:03:09,543 --> 00:03:10,713 Where's Greggy? 57 00:03:10,713 --> 00:03:12,033 Greggy Schmeggy. 58 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,593 Just say yes! 59 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,023 It'll be magic to have our first female 60 00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:18,513 kick off our 29th season. 61 00:03:18,513 --> 00:03:21,363 I mean, you can, you know, recast all-- 62 00:03:21,363 --> 00:03:23,103 all ladies if you want. 63 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:23,903 Whatever. 64 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:24,705 Well, that wouldn't work 65 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,373 because it's a family drama. 66 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,203 Oh, yes! 67 00:03:28,203 --> 00:03:29,643 Yeah. 68 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,233 Of course, your rate would double. 69 00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:32,313 I accept. 70 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,603 Hallelujah. 71 00:03:33,603 --> 00:03:35,043 That's great. (ON) SAM: I accept. 72 00:03:35,043 --> 00:03:35,843 OK. 73 00:03:35,843 --> 00:03:37,173 You got to be confident. 74 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,243 Because these actors are hyenas. 75 00:03:39,243 --> 00:03:40,843 And if you falter in front of them, 76 00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:43,411 it'll be your blood dripping off their face fur. 77 00:03:43,411 --> 00:03:44,703 OK, well, then I'll-- 78 00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:46,233 I'll become a lion. 79 00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:48,393 I'll be like a mama lioness. 80 00:03:48,393 --> 00:03:49,953 A pack of hyenas can 81 00:03:49,953 --> 00:03:51,723 easily tear apart a lioness. 82 00:03:51,723 --> 00:03:55,383 But it's a good general mindset to start out with. 83 00:03:55,383 --> 00:03:56,463 Mama lion! 84 00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:58,083 Rawr, rawr! (ON) SHELDON: Oh, boy. 85 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,343 I'm a lion. Rawr, rawr! 86 00:04:03,303 --> 00:04:05,283 Yes. 87 00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,768 This one. 88 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,243 That's me. 89 00:04:09,243 --> 00:04:11,223 That's me, sir. 90 00:04:11,223 --> 00:04:12,223 That's me. 91 00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:13,993 You work at that theater? 92 00:04:13,993 --> 00:04:15,813 Yes, I do. 93 00:04:15,813 --> 00:04:16,803 I'm a director. 94 00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,762 No shit? 95 00:04:18,762 --> 00:04:19,562 Actor. 96 00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:20,523 [LAUGHS] 97 00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:22,113 Hey, maybe you could get me a job. 98 00:04:22,113 --> 00:04:23,473 You're right. 99 00:04:23,473 --> 00:04:24,655 Maybe I could. 100 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,363 Well, I know where you live. 101 00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:28,138 And I know your name. 102 00:04:28,138 --> 00:04:29,513 I do not know how to contact you. 103 00:04:29,513 --> 00:04:31,223 And my driver information does not 104 00:04:31,223 --> 00:04:32,963 have any contact info for me. 105 00:04:32,963 --> 00:04:34,478 So we may have to exchange-- 106 00:04:34,478 --> 00:04:36,353 I'm sure we'll bump into each other 107 00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:40,133 again because I'm constantly taking Zooms. 108 00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,083 This is where you live, right? 109 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,541 Yeah, I kind of usually-- 110 00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:45,260 we actually overshot it. (ON) DRIVER: Oh. 111 00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:46,593 I can take you right back there. 112 00:04:46,593 --> 00:04:47,718 No, this is good. 113 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:48,833 I'll get out here. 114 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,603 Thank you. 115 00:04:50,603 --> 00:04:52,283 Good old brick and stucco. 116 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:53,363 [LAUGHS] 117 00:04:53,363 --> 00:04:54,623 I know where you live. 118 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:56,603 Yeah, I put my neighbors coordinates. 119 00:04:56,603 --> 00:04:58,193 Coordinates? You live next door? 120 00:04:58,193 --> 00:04:59,651 Yeah, I live in the area. 121 00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:01,843 This one's just-- either are fine. 122 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,643 Bye! 123 00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:08,400 Back to my place! 124 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,895 [MUSIC PLAYING] 125 00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:28,893 Guys, places, please. 126 00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,183 Places. 127 00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:32,563 All right, you in the back, can you sit down? 128 00:05:32,563 --> 00:05:33,363 {\an8}Yes. 129 00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:36,903 {\an8}When the hand goes up, whoop, everyone quiet. 130 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,453 I'm your director. 131 00:05:39,453 --> 00:05:43,073 I'm a director. 132 00:05:56,913 --> 00:06:02,043 I don't know how to describe it except it's like I just 133 00:06:02,043 --> 00:06:06,483 suddenly feel like I exist. 134 00:06:06,483 --> 00:06:07,563 You got a gig. 135 00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:08,523 Yes. 136 00:06:08,523 --> 00:06:10,533 I'm happy. 137 00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:12,963 How do you know? 138 00:06:12,963 --> 00:06:15,433 Could I be tricking myself? 139 00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,573 Mm-hmm. 140 00:06:17,573 --> 00:06:18,423 Oh. 141 00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:20,703 Do you hate yourself? 142 00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:24,163 I mean, sometimes I'm just like, 143 00:06:24,163 --> 00:06:28,373 other people are better than you, and you suck. 144 00:06:28,373 --> 00:06:29,173 Yeah. 145 00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:31,400 But hate? 146 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,233 I'm going to put you down for yes. 147 00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:34,063 OK. 148 00:06:34,063 --> 00:06:36,230 But, you know, therapy is crucial for you. 149 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,163 With your aloof parents, and your loner mentality, and your 150 00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:41,263 deep insecurities, you need it. 151 00:06:41,263 --> 00:06:45,613 In other news-- and yes, I too bear news-- 152 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,433 I'm changing my billing system to the Square. 153 00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,281 And I don't want you to be startled 154 00:06:50,281 --> 00:06:52,322 at the end of our session, so I'm letting you know now. 155 00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:53,124 OK. 156 00:06:53,124 --> 00:06:54,733 So you can emotionally prepare. 157 00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:55,533 [PHONE VIBRATES] 158 00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:56,853 Oh. 159 00:06:56,853 --> 00:06:59,823 Oh, it's from my theater. 160 00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,743 It's a community meeting. 161 00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:02,853 Damn, it's so soon. 162 00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,143 I don't have on good makeup. 163 00:07:04,143 --> 00:07:05,643 I just don't want to look mousy. 164 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:07,061 This is a big opportunity. 165 00:07:07,061 --> 00:07:08,707 Oh, I have a cosmetology license. 166 00:07:08,707 --> 00:07:09,509 You do? 167 00:07:09,509 --> 00:07:10,845 I could do your makeup. 168 00:07:10,845 --> 00:07:13,305 [MUSIC PLAYING] 169 00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:19,209 Mama lion. 170 00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,243 [APPLAUSE] 171 00:07:27,243 --> 00:07:28,043 What? 172 00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:28,863 Gerald, come on. 173 00:07:28,863 --> 00:07:30,613 Give me my light, will you? 174 00:07:30,613 --> 00:07:33,513 Gerald, what are you doing? 175 00:07:33,513 --> 00:07:35,113 Cut it out! 176 00:07:35,113 --> 00:07:39,393 That is the best bit. 177 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,713 Come on. 178 00:07:40,713 --> 00:07:43,451 I sign your checks, Gerald! 179 00:07:43,451 --> 00:07:44,903 [LAUGHS] 180 00:07:49,743 --> 00:07:51,693 Ahem. 181 00:07:51,693 --> 00:07:58,263 Thespians, ushers, box office personnel, 182 00:07:58,263 --> 00:08:01,918 costume designers, stage managers, and yes, 183 00:08:01,918 --> 00:08:02,773 even techies-- 184 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,023 Fucking dick. 185 00:08:04,023 --> 00:08:05,943 Stupid bitch. 186 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,713 It has come to my attention 187 00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:11,303 that our beloved director, Greggy Thompson, 188 00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:14,933 had non-traditional relationships with cast members 189 00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:18,383 in every play he directed. 190 00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:20,423 Greggy is stepping down. 191 00:08:20,423 --> 00:08:21,623 What? 192 00:08:21,623 --> 00:08:22,463 OK. 193 00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:26,813 Now I'm going to announce Greggy's replacement. 194 00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:29,333 She is a female, which is just the medicine 195 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:30,593 we need right now-- 196 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,363 Sam Clifford! 197 00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:34,753 [APPLAUSE] 198 00:08:38,115 --> 00:08:40,433 Oh, whoa. 199 00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:41,423 Oh, no. 200 00:08:41,423 --> 00:08:44,003 Gerald, where's my spotlight action? 201 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:45,463 Let's dance, baby. 202 00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:46,263 Ah, ah! 203 00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:48,323 Come on. 204 00:08:48,323 --> 00:08:49,563 OK. 205 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,233 We'll do it some other time. 206 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,333 I am Sam Clifford. 207 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,693 Hi, friends. 208 00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:57,473 I know the mood is a little iffy right now, 209 00:08:57,473 --> 00:09:00,413 but I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart, 210 00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:02,403 I believe victims. 211 00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:04,103 And that's what you are. 212 00:09:04,103 --> 00:09:05,033 Sorry if I look crazy. 213 00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:07,410 My therapist did my makeup. 214 00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:09,083 Thank you very much. 215 00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:09,883 I sound like Elvis. 216 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,923 Ah, getting in my head. 217 00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:11,723 Thanks, guys. 218 00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:13,313 I'm going to be a mama lion. 219 00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:15,043 I'm going to protect you. Rawr! 220 00:09:15,043 --> 00:09:15,843 OK. 221 00:09:15,843 --> 00:09:17,046 We'll see you soon. 222 00:09:17,046 --> 00:09:17,963 Holy shit. 223 00:09:21,943 --> 00:09:23,093 Hey, Sam. 224 00:09:23,093 --> 00:09:23,893 Wait up. 225 00:09:23,893 --> 00:09:25,213 Whoa, Greggy. 226 00:09:25,213 --> 00:09:26,773 That was a great speech back there. 227 00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,513 Oh, thank you. That means a lot. 228 00:09:28,513 --> 00:09:30,638 Yeah, I just kind of had to make it up on the spot, 229 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,273 but I was happy with it. (ON) GREGGY: Hey, listen. 230 00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:33,731 Walk and talk with me for a second. 231 00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:36,148 I keep my car parked down here so she don't get dinged. 232 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:41,473 I can see you as a director. 233 00:09:41,473 --> 00:09:42,543 You do? 234 00:09:42,543 --> 00:09:43,623 Of course. 235 00:09:43,623 --> 00:09:45,363 You're super duper. 236 00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:48,283 You are a very special person, OK? 237 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,083 You know that. 238 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,093 Right, kid? 239 00:09:50,093 --> 00:09:52,440 I think I do, yeah. 240 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,773 She is my stingray. 241 00:09:53,773 --> 00:09:54,793 Yeah. 242 00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:55,593 Look. 243 00:09:55,593 --> 00:09:57,043 You're going to make theater. 244 00:09:57,043 --> 00:09:57,983 That's the dream. 245 00:09:57,983 --> 00:09:58,783 Right? 246 00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:03,823 I lost my dream because of some bad judgment or some bad luck. 247 00:10:03,823 --> 00:10:05,743 Really, some vindictive phonies. 248 00:10:05,743 --> 00:10:07,963 The point is, I'm here for you. 249 00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:09,523 Hey, I'm damn good. 250 00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:11,363 I can teach you to get standing O's. 251 00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:12,163 Mm-hmm. 252 00:10:12,163 --> 00:10:12,963 You know what? 253 00:10:12,963 --> 00:10:15,373 Thank you, but I kind of want to find my own way. 254 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,663 Silly. 255 00:10:16,663 --> 00:10:18,703 Why don't you grab a coffee with me? 256 00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,903 I mean, what-- what's the worst that can happen? 257 00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:22,093 I got a cool car. 258 00:10:22,093 --> 00:10:23,353 Why don't you hop in? 259 00:10:23,353 --> 00:10:25,093 It is so cool. 260 00:10:25,093 --> 00:10:26,533 God. 261 00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:28,793 Maybe I could just sit in it for a second. 262 00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:29,933 No, I can't do this. 263 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,193 I got to go. I got to sleep. 264 00:10:31,193 --> 00:10:31,993 I got to eat. 265 00:10:31,993 --> 00:10:33,973 I got a table read tomorrow, Greggy. 266 00:10:33,973 --> 00:10:34,873 OK. 267 00:10:34,873 --> 00:10:36,853 Well, text me. 268 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:37,783 All right. 269 00:10:37,783 --> 00:10:38,583 Bye, Greggy. 270 00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:50,391 [DRUM BEATING] 271 00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,971 I say we do another musical, guys. 272 00:10:56,971 --> 00:10:57,771 Rawr! 273 00:10:57,771 --> 00:11:00,143 Rawr, rawr, rawr! 274 00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:02,671 Mama lion reporting for den duty. 275 00:11:02,671 --> 00:11:03,713 Hey, twin. 276 00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,233 Check the lips. 277 00:11:05,233 --> 00:11:06,173 Hmm? 278 00:11:06,173 --> 00:11:08,603 Marjorie, that's an exact match. 279 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:09,473 That's crazy. 280 00:11:09,473 --> 00:11:11,213 It's not crazy. 281 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,863 It's flattering. 282 00:11:12,863 --> 00:11:15,263 Anyhow, so by now we've all read the script. 283 00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:17,903 We know it's about a small town. 284 00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:19,493 But what is it really about? 285 00:11:19,493 --> 00:11:20,993 It's about all of us. 286 00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:22,616 Is it about Detroit? 287 00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:23,783 It's-- it's human. 288 00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:24,601 It's universal. 289 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,393 Come on, the universal Southern 290 00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:28,518 experiences that we were-- that's what we're doing? 291 00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:31,613 Rain's coming in. 292 00:11:31,613 --> 00:11:32,463 What is rain? 293 00:11:32,463 --> 00:11:33,263 What is it? 294 00:11:33,263 --> 00:11:34,673 Rain, rain is water. 295 00:11:34,673 --> 00:11:35,473 It's viscous. 296 00:11:35,473 --> 00:11:37,053 It's molecular H2O. 297 00:11:37,053 --> 00:11:38,213 Mm-hmm. Good. 298 00:11:38,213 --> 00:11:40,373 It cleanses but also makes mud. 299 00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:42,533 Phones down, OK? 300 00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:45,383 Let's open the damn script. 301 00:11:45,383 --> 00:11:48,983 Rain's Coming In, written by Sam Clifford, 302 00:11:48,983 --> 00:11:51,653 directed by Sam Clifford! 303 00:11:51,653 --> 00:11:53,150 [LAUGHS] 304 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,643 That's my girl. 305 00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:58,973 No relation to me, Sheldon Clifford. 306 00:11:58,973 --> 00:12:00,363 Only met her mom once! 307 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:01,653 I swear I did nothing. 308 00:12:01,653 --> 00:12:03,073 You fucked her mom? 309 00:12:03,073 --> 00:12:04,563 No. Uh-oh. 310 00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:05,363 No. 311 00:12:05,363 --> 00:12:06,693 No, I did not. 312 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,765 Here we go. 313 00:12:07,765 --> 00:12:08,913 Act 1. 314 00:12:08,913 --> 00:12:10,983 Mama Jean's rural home. 315 00:12:10,983 --> 00:12:13,653 Mama Jean enters in robe smoking. 316 00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:16,693 Opens newspaper, smacks it. 317 00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:17,773 Humph! 318 00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:19,783 Thunder, lightning. 319 00:12:19,783 --> 00:12:20,933 Mama looks outside. 320 00:12:24,923 --> 00:12:26,983 Rain's coming in. 321 00:12:26,983 --> 00:12:29,203 It's raining drops the size of gumballs. 322 00:12:32,563 --> 00:12:35,093 Cooper, you got a hard heart. 323 00:12:35,093 --> 00:12:40,113 It ain't our fault you drink to get through a day! 324 00:12:40,113 --> 00:12:44,903 I'm daddy, but I'm a dead fucking ghost daddy. 325 00:12:48,923 --> 00:12:52,303 W-- why, Cooper, you're drunk. 326 00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:53,803 You are too, mama. 327 00:12:53,803 --> 00:12:56,333 So don't you dare! 328 00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,408 No, she ain't, Cooper! 329 00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:00,443 Lillie Mae, mama's little lapdog! 330 00:13:03,653 --> 00:13:08,143 Now, listen, here, if you love the wild, the wild 331 00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:09,473 love you back, boy. 332 00:13:09,473 --> 00:13:11,183 Dinner's ready, potatoes 333 00:13:11,183 --> 00:13:13,073 whipped high like mountains. 334 00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:16,583 There's enough food here to feed a firehouse. 335 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:19,283 Mama, we ought to invite Buck. 336 00:13:19,283 --> 00:13:22,103 Lillie Mae's sweet on him. 337 00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:24,203 Lillie Mae screams and collapses 338 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,493 in the door, holding Buck. 339 00:13:26,493 --> 00:13:30,233 Oh, Buck, the father of the unborn baby! 340 00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:36,683 Oh, God, this is worse than porridge on ice! 341 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,203 Yes, I'm pregnant, y'all. 342 00:13:39,203 --> 00:13:44,343 Lights dim, rain sound, end of play. 343 00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:45,593 It's really good. 344 00:13:45,593 --> 00:13:46,793 Really sad, right? 345 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:47,593 Sad story. 346 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,926 Yeah, it was great. 347 00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:50,543 I'd just go a little longer, chica. 348 00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:52,223 No, it was long. 349 00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:53,963 I think like a director. 350 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,533 You know, I love it. 351 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:56,723 I'm obsessed with it. 352 00:13:56,723 --> 00:13:59,063 But there are three funerals. 353 00:13:59,063 --> 00:14:02,763 There are also 20 monologues back to back. 354 00:14:02,763 --> 00:14:05,753 Imagine-- imagine fucking but you're 355 00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:08,653 climaxing the entire time. 356 00:14:08,653 --> 00:14:11,103 Don't have to imagine. 357 00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:13,563 Corden, your ghost character 358 00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:15,073 scared the shit out of me. 359 00:14:15,073 --> 00:14:17,571 And I say that as someone who's been stabbed six times. 360 00:14:17,571 --> 00:14:19,113 By six different people? 361 00:14:19,113 --> 00:14:19,946 Four. 362 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,683 Should we focus, or is this good for camaraderie? 363 00:14:22,683 --> 00:14:24,813 OK, monstrous read, everybody. 364 00:14:24,813 --> 00:14:26,793 Just a little over three hours. 365 00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,053 Thank you, everyone. 366 00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:29,343 Beautiful work. 367 00:14:29,343 --> 00:14:33,543 Email me if you want to meet for one-on-ones! 368 00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:35,163 Well, that was amazing. (ON) SHELDON: It-- 369 00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:36,601 It was. It was. 370 00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:37,893 And did you see this? 371 00:14:37,893 --> 00:14:40,833 Glendale Post, "Sam Clifford to direct. 372 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,813 First-time female director poised to helm 373 00:14:42,813 --> 00:14:44,113 show at the Regis Theater." 374 00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:45,483 Front page! 375 00:14:45,483 --> 00:14:47,709 Incredible. 376 00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:50,199 Ooh, la la la. 377 00:14:50,199 --> 00:14:52,543 Mm-hmm. 378 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,343 Sam. 379 00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:55,153 Yeah. 380 00:14:55,153 --> 00:14:56,493 Hey. 381 00:14:56,493 --> 00:14:59,093 Just looking at this little write-up that I got. 382 00:14:59,093 --> 00:15:00,423 Oh wow. Congratulations. 383 00:15:00,423 --> 00:15:01,333 Thank you. 384 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,993 I'm so excited that you're getting to direct. 385 00:15:03,993 --> 00:15:05,223 I am too. 386 00:15:05,223 --> 00:15:06,765 The whole time I've worked 387 00:15:06,765 --> 00:15:07,953 here, it's always been men. 388 00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:09,693 So just seeing you walk through that door 389 00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:13,870 today in this new position was really powerful. 390 00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:14,703 Thank you. 391 00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:15,790 I'm inspired. 392 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,623 Thank you. 393 00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,813 I've been trying to do a little writing myself. 394 00:15:18,813 --> 00:15:19,613 Really? 395 00:15:19,613 --> 00:15:22,113 {\an8}Yeah, but I'm really visual and abstract. 396 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:24,783 {\an8}I'm-- I'm scared it might be my downfall. 397 00:15:24,783 --> 00:15:28,733 Well, if I could give you some advice, um, 398 00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:30,373 I would say have fun with it. 399 00:15:30,373 --> 00:15:31,813 Because if you're not, they won't. 400 00:15:31,813 --> 00:15:35,293 Well, us two girls, we got to stick together. 401 00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:37,451 That glass ceiling is no joke. 402 00:15:37,451 --> 00:15:39,493 Yeah, and my glass ceiling is blocking 403 00:15:39,493 --> 00:15:41,083 me from getting up to yours. 404 00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,043 So-- 405 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:47,193 [LAUGHS] That part. 406 00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:50,163 Anyway, I got to do a little work. 407 00:15:50,163 --> 00:15:51,038 All right. 408 00:16:04,473 --> 00:16:06,963 Today, I've brought in some coaches 409 00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:10,143 from all over Glendale who are going to help you think 410 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,893 about how to refine your work. 411 00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:13,693 OK? 412 00:16:13,693 --> 00:16:18,133 What is acting? 413 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,230 Rudie, where are you from? 414 00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:20,813 Florida. (ON) TEACHER: OK, Rudie. 415 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,433 I want this to come out of your dick. 416 00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:25,373 I want you to really just, like, say it. 417 00:16:25,373 --> 00:16:26,273 OK? 418 00:16:26,273 --> 00:16:28,163 Florida! (ON) RUDIE: I'm from Florida! 419 00:16:28,163 --> 00:16:28,994 Can we get another one out of you? 420 00:16:28,994 --> 00:16:30,683 That's my friend. Let's get the whole shaft. 421 00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:32,303 I'm from Florida! (ON) TEACHER: More. 422 00:16:32,303 --> 00:16:33,203 Put the balls in. 423 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,411 I'm from Florida! 424 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,643 Yes, yes! 425 00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:36,983 Put your hands-- (ON) CORDEN: From Iowa. 426 00:16:36,983 --> 00:16:38,316 I'm from Hollywood! 427 00:16:38,316 --> 00:16:40,583 You put both titties in there! 428 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,383 You're fucking seals, 429 00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:44,633 just throwing little anchovies out for you to catch. 430 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,163 Ar, ar, ar, ar! 431 00:16:46,163 --> 00:16:47,603 Are you saying that like a good thing or? 432 00:16:47,603 --> 00:16:49,411 No, I'm saying it like that's what being an actor 433 00:16:49,411 --> 00:16:50,213 is. 434 00:16:50,213 --> 00:16:51,046 Uh-huh. 435 00:16:51,046 --> 00:16:52,993 Acting is not something I do. 436 00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:54,203 I'm 28. 437 00:16:54,203 --> 00:16:56,843 You can definitely play older or younger. 438 00:16:56,843 --> 00:16:58,073 How old are you? 439 00:16:58,073 --> 00:16:58,873 28. 440 00:17:01,303 --> 00:17:02,103 Yeah. 441 00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:03,478 I also do training. 442 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,703 I'm a trainer as well. 443 00:17:05,703 --> 00:17:06,818 Down, and back. 444 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,861 You want us all running at the same time? 445 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:09,662 All at the same time. 446 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:10,463 Just do what he says. 447 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,423 Do you know were Flappers Comedy Club is? 448 00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:13,225 (ON) DAVINA: Yes. 449 00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:14,673 I live in one of the apartments 450 00:17:14,673 --> 00:17:15,483 right above that. 451 00:17:15,483 --> 00:17:16,382 Wow. 452 00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:18,257 How did you get a place there? 453 00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:19,743 I do stand-up comedy. 454 00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:20,543 Wait. 455 00:17:20,543 --> 00:17:23,882 So the rundown is you do stand-up, personal training, 456 00:17:23,882 --> 00:17:25,083 and acting coaching? (OFF) TEACHER: Yes. 457 00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:25,892 What's your bread-winner, 458 00:17:25,892 --> 00:17:26,934 though, out of the three? 459 00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:30,403 I make my most money working at Squeakers. 460 00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:31,203 Hi. 461 00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:35,553 Say hi. 462 00:17:35,553 --> 00:17:36,383 OK, hi. 463 00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:37,383 Oh my God. 464 00:17:37,383 --> 00:17:40,213 Is World War III coming? 465 00:17:40,213 --> 00:17:41,193 Hi. 466 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,353 See? 467 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,270 So let's try it again. 468 00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:45,228 Thank you. 469 00:17:45,228 --> 00:17:47,283 Because I really felt like you really meant it. 470 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,423 It's different. (OFF) DAVINA: I got chills. 471 00:17:48,423 --> 00:17:50,293 There are differences. 472 00:17:50,293 --> 00:17:52,293 How do you get out of your own head? 473 00:17:52,293 --> 00:17:55,293 I feel like so often I'm my greatest block. 474 00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:57,351 I thought you said, I migrate as block. 475 00:17:57,351 --> 00:17:58,893 That's what I thought. 476 00:17:59,693 --> 00:18:01,923 SAM: I thought she said, I migrate as block. 477 00:18:01,923 --> 00:18:03,573 OK, and what if she did? 478 00:18:03,573 --> 00:18:05,643 What if she did? 479 00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:09,693 Everything is right except for what you're feeling. 480 00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:13,118 Food. 481 00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:17,343 OK? 482 00:18:17,343 --> 00:18:23,073 If your character is not eating, the heart's not beating. 483 00:18:23,073 --> 00:18:26,118 The-- the sound can come out of your mouth, but-- 484 00:18:26,118 --> 00:18:27,993 I didn't even know you had that. 485 00:18:27,993 --> 00:18:29,368 Brad Pitt has never 486 00:18:29,368 --> 00:18:31,868 said a line on or off camera without something in his mouth. 487 00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,263 I just got chills. 488 00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:40,113 Denzel Washington would not be Denzel Washington 489 00:18:40,113 --> 00:18:41,563 without a pocketful of peanuts. 490 00:18:41,563 --> 00:18:43,053 Always going. 491 00:18:43,053 --> 00:18:45,090 You can see his mouth going. 492 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,173 Who are you waiting to be? 493 00:18:46,173 --> 00:18:49,583 You have a bathroom in here on the premises? 494 00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:51,696 Yeah. 495 00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:52,521 How far? 496 00:18:53,323 --> 00:18:54,123 SAM: Get out. 497 00:18:54,123 --> 00:18:54,923 We don't know him. 498 00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:56,228 We don't know him. Come on out. 499 00:18:56,228 --> 00:18:57,113 TEACHER: I'm doing all right. 500 00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:58,223 (OFF) SAM: We don't-- 501 00:18:58,223 --> 00:18:59,640 It's too much fruit. 502 00:19:13,698 --> 00:19:15,823 We were all shocked you were directing. 503 00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:17,406 It felt like time, you know? 504 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,713 It felt right. 505 00:19:18,713 --> 00:19:20,543 Huge jump. 506 00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:25,363 I wanted to talk about our vision for Cooper. 507 00:19:25,363 --> 00:19:27,343 Do you see him as gay? (ON) SAM: Do you him to be? 508 00:19:27,343 --> 00:19:28,183 No. 509 00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:29,443 Well, I'm not mommy. 510 00:19:29,443 --> 00:19:31,973 What's your vision? 511 00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:33,263 Mommy? 512 00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:34,853 It's a funny word. 513 00:19:34,853 --> 00:19:36,923 Mine actually split when I was six. 514 00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:40,703 A lot of the mama lion thing you've been doing, um, 515 00:19:40,703 --> 00:19:41,843 it's just a lot for me. 516 00:19:41,843 --> 00:19:43,503 I'm so sorry. (ON) RUDIE: Oh, my God. 517 00:19:43,503 --> 00:19:45,113 I did not know. (ON) RUDIE: No, stop. 518 00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:47,418 I went to a fun boarding school and got over it fast. 519 00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:49,043 And, you know, I just kind of realized, 520 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,843 like, why am I taking it so personal 521 00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:52,433 that my mom abandoned me? 522 00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:53,363 Right. 523 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:55,253 Yeah, and, Rudie, I hope you're not 524 00:19:55,253 --> 00:19:57,233 nervous about this production. 525 00:19:57,233 --> 00:19:59,513 I know it's challenging material, 526 00:19:59,513 --> 00:20:03,263 but you're a super duper actor. 527 00:20:03,263 --> 00:20:05,153 And you're really great. 528 00:20:05,153 --> 00:20:06,893 You know that, right? 529 00:20:06,893 --> 00:20:09,773 Don't try that greeky shit with me. 530 00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,573 It's not you. 531 00:20:11,573 --> 00:20:14,583 Anyway, thanks for giving me free rein. 532 00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:15,383 Yeah. 533 00:20:19,723 --> 00:20:23,403 You know, you seem scared. 534 00:20:23,403 --> 00:20:26,463 Sometimes the best thing you can do is just admit it. 535 00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:31,673 People really respect honesty. 536 00:20:35,316 --> 00:20:36,234 Coffee? 537 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,192 Oh, my god. 538 00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,513 Oh, it's too hot. 539 00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:40,543 It's too hot to-- 540 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:41,343 oh. 541 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:45,543 Bye. 542 00:20:58,678 --> 00:20:59,923 SAM: So notecard 72-- 543 00:20:59,923 --> 00:21:01,423 nope 71. 544 00:21:01,423 --> 00:21:02,533 Sorry about that. 545 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:04,453 So this is Elizabeth Cary. 546 00:21:04,453 --> 00:21:06,463 To anyone who guessed, that's correct. 547 00:21:06,463 --> 00:21:09,103 Elizabeth Cary, she penned the first play 548 00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:11,623 written by a woman in 1613. 549 00:21:11,623 --> 00:21:14,203 She had 11 kids, and she still created. 550 00:21:14,203 --> 00:21:15,403 That's grit. 551 00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:17,533 OK, I'm going to hang this. 552 00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:19,723 I'll get one of the guys to hang it. 553 00:21:19,723 --> 00:21:22,203 We made it through this many notecards. 554 00:21:22,203 --> 00:21:23,363 Corn on the cob. 555 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,363 Nya-nya. 556 00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:28,743 You guys have been amazing to just stick it out this long. 557 00:21:28,743 --> 00:21:33,103 And I want to admit something to you. 558 00:21:33,103 --> 00:21:34,293 I'm scared right now. 559 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,003 I was scared this morning getting ready. 560 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:39,123 I'm scared to lead. 561 00:21:39,123 --> 00:21:40,533 Sometimes it's good to say that. 562 00:21:42,616 --> 00:21:45,633 DAVINA: [LAUGHS] 563 00:21:45,633 --> 00:21:47,583 What? 564 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:49,743 I'm doing a panties giveaway. 565 00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:50,823 My panties, I wear them. 566 00:21:50,823 --> 00:21:52,533 And then I give them away. (ON) SAM: Pantie? 567 00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:54,158 It's like a sponsor thing. 568 00:21:54,158 --> 00:21:57,583 There's some shit on them, so they sell for more. 569 00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:59,609 Not my shit. 570 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,485 [BEEP] 571 00:22:01,485 --> 00:22:03,073 My love? (ON) SAM: Yeah. 572 00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:05,653 My kid sister, I mentioned her to you, right? 573 00:22:05,653 --> 00:22:06,853 She's a single mom? 574 00:22:06,853 --> 00:22:08,963 Yeah, she's having some child care issue. 575 00:22:08,963 --> 00:22:09,983 Oh, no. 576 00:22:09,983 --> 00:22:10,816 Yeah. 577 00:22:10,816 --> 00:22:13,273 So I told her I'd watch my niece. 578 00:22:13,273 --> 00:22:14,533 I mean, you get it? 579 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:16,073 Single mom, child care issues? 580 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:16,873 Yeah. 581 00:22:16,873 --> 00:22:18,793 I'm trying to think how we could make it work. 582 00:22:18,793 --> 00:22:20,388 Maybe she could sit off to the side 583 00:22:20,388 --> 00:22:21,763 and do her homework or something? 584 00:22:21,763 --> 00:22:23,513 I don't know, but we should talk about it. 585 00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:24,621 When is this? 586 00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:25,663 Right now. 587 00:22:25,663 --> 00:22:28,063 Come on in, honey. 588 00:22:28,063 --> 00:22:30,555 She-- she said you have to sit in the corner. 589 00:22:31,357 --> 00:22:33,433 SAM: No, I'm saying like, I just feel like then 590 00:22:33,433 --> 00:22:35,383 you'd have your own space. 591 00:22:35,383 --> 00:22:39,021 Yeah, you can grab that chair. 592 00:22:39,021 --> 00:22:41,506 [VIOLIN MUSIC] 593 00:22:43,991 --> 00:22:46,476 [CHAIR SCRAPING] 594 00:22:58,663 --> 00:23:00,540 She seems so sad. 595 00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:02,473 RUDIE: Unforgivable. (OFF) CLARA: It's hard to see. 596 00:23:02,473 --> 00:23:03,273 Welcome. 597 00:23:05,793 --> 00:23:08,025 So-- 598 00:23:08,025 --> 00:23:09,853 [RINGTONE] 599 00:23:09,853 --> 00:23:11,113 My boy Zac. 600 00:23:11,113 --> 00:23:12,583 What's up? 601 00:23:12,583 --> 00:23:14,923 Yeah, hey, Efron, baby. 602 00:23:14,923 --> 00:23:16,348 What's up, brother? 603 00:23:16,348 --> 00:23:17,973 Wait are-- are you serious? 604 00:23:17,973 --> 00:23:19,433 It's actually Zac Efron? 605 00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:20,975 CORDEN: Yeah, you little bitch. 606 00:23:20,975 --> 00:23:21,883 What up? 607 00:23:21,883 --> 00:23:23,833 Now we got rid of him, we can get 608 00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:26,683 to the infamous notecard 72. 609 00:23:26,683 --> 00:23:27,633 What's the diaphragm? 610 00:23:27,633 --> 00:23:28,433 Where is it? 611 00:23:28,433 --> 00:23:29,623 You know, I'm going to take over because I think 612 00:23:29,623 --> 00:23:30,833 you're going to confuse them. 613 00:23:30,833 --> 00:23:34,686 And it's better if I just, like, read this one. 614 00:23:34,686 --> 00:23:36,853 Um, it's just an area that I have a lot of expertise 615 00:23:36,853 --> 00:23:39,395 and passion around, which is the diaphragm, which is actually 616 00:23:39,395 --> 00:23:41,270 connected to the pelvic floor. 617 00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:42,842 So if you have a scrotum, for example, 618 00:23:42,842 --> 00:23:43,644 tighten that, kind of-- 619 00:23:43,644 --> 00:23:44,803 OK, there's a kid, just 620 00:23:44,803 --> 00:23:45,688 reminding you, the scrotum. 621 00:23:45,688 --> 00:23:46,633 Oh, I'm fine with that. 622 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:48,703 It's good to not attach shame to those words. 623 00:23:48,703 --> 00:23:50,623 Let it spread around the anus. 624 00:23:50,623 --> 00:23:52,513 Interesting choice for director. 625 00:23:52,513 --> 00:23:54,283 I'm all for a woman in charge, completely. 626 00:23:54,283 --> 00:23:56,713 But like, kind of please be a different one. 627 00:23:56,713 --> 00:23:57,513 Please. 628 00:23:57,513 --> 00:23:58,888 At least a woman that 629 00:23:58,888 --> 00:24:00,251 won't let Marjorie's niece just barge into the rehearsal space. 630 00:24:00,251 --> 00:24:01,051 That was insane. 631 00:24:01,851 --> 00:24:02,651 That was crazy. 632 00:24:02,651 --> 00:24:03,453 Wait. 633 00:24:03,453 --> 00:24:04,933 Who am I? 634 00:24:04,933 --> 00:24:07,093 Hoo, hoo. 635 00:24:07,093 --> 00:24:09,198 Scared Samantha. 636 00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:10,698 Oh, I just dislike her. 637 00:24:10,698 --> 00:24:13,278 Look at these notecards! 638 00:24:13,278 --> 00:24:14,403 My name is Sam. 639 00:24:14,403 --> 00:24:16,243 I have a lot riding on this. 640 00:24:16,243 --> 00:24:19,301 I hope I get a big, fancy-- 641 00:24:19,301 --> 00:24:20,593 Wait, what is that? 642 00:24:22,903 --> 00:24:24,513 SIMON: Where are you looking? 643 00:24:24,513 --> 00:24:26,263 Oh. 644 00:24:26,263 --> 00:24:27,435 Hey, guys. 645 00:24:27,435 --> 00:24:29,103 Hey. 646 00:24:29,103 --> 00:24:30,921 Great rehearsal today. Great job. 647 00:24:30,921 --> 00:24:31,838 Thank you. 648 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:34,293 It was amazing. 649 00:24:34,293 --> 00:24:36,063 Just waiting for a Zoomer. 650 00:24:36,063 --> 00:24:37,313 Yeah. 651 00:24:37,313 --> 00:24:40,343 I'm just going to Zoom on out. 652 00:24:40,343 --> 00:24:41,896 [CHATTERING] 653 00:24:42,698 --> 00:24:43,573 Bye, Clara. 654 00:24:43,573 --> 00:24:44,373 Bye. 655 00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:49,083 Hey, Corden. 656 00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:50,208 Yeah, see you. 657 00:24:54,953 --> 00:24:56,443 Hey. (ON) SAM: Hey. 658 00:24:56,443 --> 00:24:58,235 You have a good first rehearsal? 659 00:24:58,235 --> 00:24:59,763 Yeah, it was really good. 660 00:24:59,763 --> 00:25:01,663 It was so good today. 661 00:25:01,663 --> 00:25:02,753 OK. (ON) SAM: Bye. 662 00:25:02,753 --> 00:25:03,795 See you later. 663 00:25:17,129 --> 00:25:19,333 MARJORIE: Whoa, a hand-drawn map. 664 00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:21,793 "Hey, let's meet at Griffith Park. 665 00:25:21,793 --> 00:25:22,985 Fun rehearsal time." 666 00:25:22,985 --> 00:25:24,193 CLARA: I know the spot. 667 00:25:24,193 --> 00:25:25,813 Follow me. 668 00:25:25,813 --> 00:25:27,548 Come on. 669 00:25:27,548 --> 00:25:29,173 Yeah, I'll catch up later. 670 00:25:29,173 --> 00:25:30,215 I'll meet you guys there. 671 00:25:30,215 --> 00:25:32,293 I just got to go get a couple Jamocha 672 00:25:32,293 --> 00:25:33,357 shakes for me and my mom. 673 00:25:33,357 --> 00:25:34,157 Be really disappointing if you 674 00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:34,957 didn't come. 675 00:25:34,957 --> 00:25:35,757 Be really disappointing if you didn't. 676 00:25:35,757 --> 00:25:36,733 Oh my God. 677 00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:38,203 My doctor. 678 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,864 I have it. 679 00:25:39,864 --> 00:25:45,756 [GIGGLES] 680 00:25:45,756 --> 00:25:48,211 [BIRD CALLING] 681 00:26:03,473 --> 00:26:06,143 Hey, hey. 682 00:26:06,143 --> 00:26:09,233 Hello, thespians. 683 00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,313 Hi. 684 00:26:10,313 --> 00:26:12,203 Just squatting on this old tree 685 00:26:12,203 --> 00:26:15,506 stump, communing with nature, practicing my bird call. 686 00:26:15,506 --> 00:26:18,683 [BIRD CALLING] 687 00:26:18,683 --> 00:26:24,773 You're not dealing with that uptight robot Sam Bird anymore. 688 00:26:24,773 --> 00:26:26,523 I had an epiphany. 689 00:26:26,523 --> 00:26:27,863 I got to loosen up. 690 00:26:27,863 --> 00:26:30,293 So let's loosen up! 691 00:26:30,293 --> 00:26:31,443 Woo! 692 00:26:31,443 --> 00:26:32,243 So let's hike. 693 00:26:32,243 --> 00:26:33,423 Oh! 694 00:26:33,423 --> 00:26:34,283 Ah. 695 00:26:34,283 --> 00:26:35,933 So let's hike and-- 696 00:26:35,933 --> 00:26:36,833 ooh. 697 00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:37,633 Got me. 698 00:26:37,633 --> 00:26:40,911 So let's hike and shout lines into the wind. 699 00:26:40,911 --> 00:26:42,238 I didn't bring my hiking shoes. 700 00:26:42,238 --> 00:26:43,040 Me neither. 701 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,763 Well, we weren't born in shoes, were we? 702 00:26:46,763 --> 00:26:49,523 So Davina, like, totally bailed. 703 00:26:49,523 --> 00:26:50,486 And where's Corden? 704 00:26:50,486 --> 00:26:52,403 Ooh, I do have a little announcement 705 00:26:52,403 --> 00:26:53,513 on that front. 706 00:26:53,513 --> 00:26:55,843 Corden landed a role in the Magic Mike prequel. 707 00:26:55,843 --> 00:26:57,353 Oh. (ON) CLARA: He got out. 708 00:26:57,353 --> 00:26:58,853 So we're completely fucked. 709 00:26:58,853 --> 00:26:59,811 Do not worry. 710 00:26:59,811 --> 00:27:04,103 He has given me his word, he will be back for previews. 711 00:27:04,103 --> 00:27:06,417 Woo! 712 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:07,518 Yes! 713 00:27:07,518 --> 00:27:09,805 RUDIE: Sam, is the trail at least short? 714 00:27:09,805 --> 00:27:11,263 The trail is not short. 715 00:27:11,263 --> 00:27:12,381 It's very steep and rigorous. 716 00:27:13,183 --> 00:27:14,443 MARJORIE: What do you mean? 717 00:27:14,443 --> 00:27:16,363 I'll wait for you. 718 00:27:16,363 --> 00:27:22,448 My shoes are made of felt. 719 00:27:23,248 --> 00:27:25,163 SAM: Everyone's accents could improve, 720 00:27:25,163 --> 00:27:26,893 so let's really try to watch-- 721 00:27:26,893 --> 00:27:30,412 I don't know-- old Southern movies or something. 722 00:27:35,463 --> 00:27:36,745 Sam, Sam, Sam. 723 00:27:36,745 --> 00:27:40,065 You know I respect your vision, but what-- 724 00:27:40,065 --> 00:27:42,023 what the hell does this have to do with acting? 725 00:27:42,023 --> 00:27:42,833 I'm just confused. 726 00:27:42,833 --> 00:27:45,263 I want to understand. 727 00:27:45,263 --> 00:27:47,948 You'll understand as it goes deeper in your soul. 728 00:27:52,523 --> 00:27:54,683 Simon DiCaprio, hit us. 729 00:27:54,683 --> 00:27:59,438 I bought poison from the apothecary. 730 00:27:59,438 --> 00:28:00,243 Ow! 731 00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:01,596 I hurt my damn ankle. 732 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:02,763 Are you all right? 733 00:28:04,178 --> 00:28:04,978 MARJORIE: Oh. 734 00:28:04,978 --> 00:28:06,353 [SCREAMING] 735 00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:07,640 [RATTLING] 736 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,441 RUDIE: Why are we even here? 737 00:28:08,441 --> 00:28:09,242 Don't worry. 738 00:28:09,242 --> 00:28:11,113 I'm going to just cock that shit right back in-- 739 00:28:11,113 --> 00:28:13,613 Wait, wait, wait. 740 00:28:13,613 --> 00:28:17,243 My ankle is double-jointed. 741 00:28:17,243 --> 00:28:18,543 What's new is the scratch. 742 00:28:21,023 --> 00:28:21,823 SAM: Oh. 743 00:28:21,823 --> 00:28:24,023 Come on. 744 00:28:24,023 --> 00:28:24,823 Oh. 745 00:28:40,211 --> 00:28:42,691 [VOCALIZING] 746 00:28:47,651 --> 00:28:50,873 (SINGING) Home again, home again, jiggity jig. 747 00:28:50,873 --> 00:28:52,093 All right, we're back. 748 00:28:52,093 --> 00:28:54,343 And it's rain day. 749 00:28:54,343 --> 00:28:57,073 Rain, rain, don't go away. 750 00:28:57,073 --> 00:28:58,170 Is the rain rig ready? 751 00:28:58,170 --> 00:28:59,503 Oh, you betcha. 752 00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:00,943 Should I fire it up? (ON) SAM: One second. 753 00:29:00,943 --> 00:29:01,993 Joseph. 754 00:29:01,993 --> 00:29:03,673 It's-- it's time to run the rain. 755 00:29:03,673 --> 00:29:05,743 Joseph, we're going to do the rain. 756 00:29:05,743 --> 00:29:07,483 You have earplugs in or something? 757 00:29:07,483 --> 00:29:09,103 Earbuds. 758 00:29:09,103 --> 00:29:11,383 I listen to music while I make kill lists 759 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:14,523 of people I want fucking dead. 760 00:29:14,523 --> 00:29:16,483 All right, Joseph. 761 00:29:16,483 --> 00:29:17,283 All right. 762 00:29:17,283 --> 00:29:20,013 Well, it's the gray, dreary morning 763 00:29:20,013 --> 00:29:21,963 of grandpappy's funeral. 764 00:29:21,963 --> 00:29:23,973 And here he lays, right? 765 00:29:23,973 --> 00:29:25,233 Here lays grandpappy. 766 00:29:25,233 --> 00:29:26,493 The rain is going to come on. 767 00:29:26,493 --> 00:29:27,393 You will get wet. 768 00:29:27,393 --> 00:29:30,363 There's plenty of towels over here for after. 769 00:29:30,363 --> 00:29:31,623 I brought a bunch of props. 770 00:29:31,623 --> 00:29:33,073 Come on up and grab some. 771 00:29:33,073 --> 00:29:33,873 Whoa! 772 00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:34,673 We got a hat. 773 00:29:34,673 --> 00:29:35,503 We got an umbrella. 774 00:29:35,503 --> 00:29:36,303 We got a poncho. 775 00:29:36,303 --> 00:29:38,833 We got a something. 776 00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:39,633 Have at it. 777 00:29:39,633 --> 00:29:40,435 I'm going to go ahead 778 00:29:40,435 --> 00:29:42,206 and snatch this little rainslicker right here. 779 00:29:42,206 --> 00:29:43,623 I'll take the flowers. 780 00:29:43,623 --> 00:29:46,898 I'll take the umbrella. 781 00:29:46,898 --> 00:29:48,918 That's actually bad luck, Macbeth. 782 00:29:48,918 --> 00:29:50,133 [LAUGHS] 783 00:29:50,133 --> 00:29:52,036 Macbeth, Macbeth! 784 00:29:52,036 --> 00:29:52,953 Oh, great. 785 00:29:52,953 --> 00:29:54,393 Well, I'll just use this-- something that my character 786 00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:55,535 would absolutely never wear. 787 00:29:56,337 --> 00:29:57,183 RUDIE: Cute. (ON) CLARA: It's cute. 788 00:29:57,183 --> 00:29:58,266 This isn't even bad taste. 789 00:29:58,266 --> 00:29:59,763 It's the complete absence of taste. 790 00:29:59,763 --> 00:30:01,633 Clara, that's actually hurting my feelings. 791 00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,508 That my personal hat that I brought from home 792 00:30:03,508 --> 00:30:04,773 to share with you guys. 793 00:30:04,773 --> 00:30:08,313 It's neither here nor there, Sam. 794 00:30:08,313 --> 00:30:09,663 Oh, come on. 795 00:30:09,663 --> 00:30:12,033 These kids don't know style. 796 00:30:12,033 --> 00:30:14,373 We're in our brew. 797 00:30:14,373 --> 00:30:17,768 Oh, mama, mama, mama, mama. 798 00:30:17,768 --> 00:30:19,893 Kind of taste what you had for breakfast. 799 00:30:19,893 --> 00:30:20,693 All right. 800 00:30:20,693 --> 00:30:22,443 Yeah, we better get going. 801 00:30:22,443 --> 00:30:24,483 Let's get into the piece, OK? 802 00:30:24,483 --> 00:30:26,593 Let's see what we got here. 803 00:30:26,593 --> 00:30:27,393 All right. 804 00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:28,353 So you're sad. 805 00:30:28,353 --> 00:30:29,653 You're at a funeral. 806 00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:30,453 You're sad. 807 00:30:30,453 --> 00:30:31,743 Everyone's feeling down. 808 00:30:31,743 --> 00:30:33,993 Grandpappy is gone. 809 00:30:33,993 --> 00:30:36,063 Davina, remember you're sad? 810 00:30:36,063 --> 00:30:37,053 Yeah. 811 00:30:37,053 --> 00:30:38,373 He's dead, right? 812 00:30:38,373 --> 00:30:39,923 So grandpappy, no! 813 00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:42,423 Grandpappy, no! 814 00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:44,463 All right, we'll take it. 815 00:30:44,463 --> 00:30:47,423 Grandpappy is my grandpappy, right? 816 00:30:47,423 --> 00:30:48,923 Oh, no, no. 817 00:30:48,923 --> 00:30:51,903 Your grandpappy would have died a long, long, long, long time 818 00:30:51,903 --> 00:30:52,703 ago. 819 00:30:52,703 --> 00:30:55,793 No, but I'm playing mama like 34, 35. 820 00:30:55,793 --> 00:30:58,013 She's going to be high 60s 821 00:30:58,013 --> 00:31:03,683 and early 70s at the very, very youngest, I'm going to say. 822 00:31:03,683 --> 00:31:05,298 Yeah. 823 00:31:05,298 --> 00:31:07,298 All right, guys, Marjorie, lead us in. 824 00:31:07,298 --> 00:31:08,098 Woo! 825 00:31:08,098 --> 00:31:09,173 OK. 826 00:31:09,173 --> 00:31:14,883 Sky's darkening, clouds getting heavy. 827 00:31:14,883 --> 00:31:21,753 We best say our final goodbyes to dear old grandpappy, 828 00:31:21,753 --> 00:31:27,353 lest we get caught in a hard, driving rain. 829 00:31:28,635 --> 00:31:29,593 Grandpappy! 830 00:31:29,593 --> 00:31:30,426 Oh, no. 831 00:31:30,426 --> 00:31:31,468 We're so sad. 832 00:31:32,343 --> 00:31:33,593 MARJORIE: Dead and gone. 833 00:31:33,593 --> 00:31:35,898 [SOBBING] 834 00:31:35,898 --> 00:31:38,403 Is it raining way too hard? 835 00:31:38,403 --> 00:31:39,903 Turn it down, Sam! 836 00:31:39,903 --> 00:31:40,928 OK. 837 00:31:40,928 --> 00:31:42,303 RUDIE: We look like a joke! 838 00:31:42,303 --> 00:31:44,213 [METALLIC CRASH] 839 00:31:44,213 --> 00:31:46,066 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 840 00:31:46,066 --> 00:31:47,608 It's a hot, hot house. 841 00:31:52,189 --> 00:31:54,231 This is supposed to be extremely hot. 842 00:31:58,489 --> 00:32:01,193 I'm swimming. 843 00:32:01,193 --> 00:32:04,844 Why is there so much rain? 844 00:32:04,844 --> 00:32:06,736 I'm sorry! 845 00:32:06,736 --> 00:32:08,628 [SHOUTING] 846 00:32:08,628 --> 00:32:12,183 The rain is most definitely coming in. 847 00:32:12,183 --> 00:32:13,183 Ah! 848 00:32:18,183 --> 00:32:20,683 [GRUNTING] 849 00:32:23,183 --> 00:32:26,563 [SHOUTING] 850 00:32:26,563 --> 00:32:29,003 The Regis is wet, wet, wetter. 851 00:32:29,003 --> 00:32:32,553 We don't care over here about climate change, honey. 852 00:32:32,553 --> 00:32:35,655 We're doing a wet t-shirt contest, dude. 853 00:32:35,655 --> 00:32:38,033 Davina, knock it off! 854 00:32:38,033 --> 00:32:41,788 Wet t-shirt, wet t-shirt contest. 855 00:32:41,788 --> 00:32:43,147 My boobies are so wet! 856 00:32:43,147 --> 00:32:45,133 Stop showing your chest, please! 857 00:32:45,133 --> 00:32:47,303 You're slut-shaming them! 858 00:32:47,303 --> 00:32:50,703 What is going on? 859 00:32:50,703 --> 00:32:53,643 Hey, a little water experiment setback. 860 00:32:53,643 --> 00:32:56,163 Sam, cast, I'd like you to meet 861 00:32:56,163 --> 00:32:58,023 Miles and Thimberly Paris. 862 00:32:58,023 --> 00:33:00,613 They are very generous donors to our little theater. 863 00:33:00,613 --> 00:33:02,103 Oh, well, what an honor. 864 00:33:02,103 --> 00:33:04,008 Thank you. 865 00:33:04,008 --> 00:33:05,324 We love the Regis. 866 00:33:06,126 --> 00:33:07,168 CLARA: You're kind. 867 00:33:07,168 --> 00:33:08,763 And I put my money where 868 00:33:08,763 --> 00:33:10,340 my mouth is with the arts. 869 00:33:10,340 --> 00:33:11,298 Here, here. 870 00:33:11,298 --> 00:33:13,533 It makes me feel better 871 00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:15,933 about my undeserved wealth. 872 00:33:15,933 --> 00:33:17,643 Well, I love to stand right here with all 873 00:33:17,643 --> 00:33:21,903 of you actors, theater people, here in the green room 874 00:33:21,903 --> 00:33:22,833 together. 875 00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:24,073 Well, it's-- it's energizing. 876 00:33:24,073 --> 00:33:25,323 This is the green room, right? 877 00:33:25,323 --> 00:33:26,613 I'm saying that right? 878 00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:28,988 Well, technically, it's known as the house. 879 00:33:28,988 --> 00:33:29,793 Ah. 880 00:33:29,793 --> 00:33:31,203 What a letdown. 881 00:33:31,203 --> 00:33:33,041 But it is like a green room. 882 00:33:33,041 --> 00:33:34,083 It really is. 883 00:33:34,083 --> 00:33:35,033 Is it? 884 00:33:35,033 --> 00:33:36,033 It isn't. 885 00:33:36,033 --> 00:33:36,833 No? 886 00:33:36,833 --> 00:33:39,303 I have a friend in textiles 887 00:33:39,303 --> 00:33:42,423 who would love her fabric, Alabama jazz, 888 00:33:42,423 --> 00:33:44,253 to be incorporated into the set. 889 00:33:44,253 --> 00:33:45,355 Oh! 890 00:33:45,355 --> 00:33:46,711 [CLAPPING] 891 00:33:46,711 --> 00:33:48,903 But after today, I don't know. 892 00:33:48,903 --> 00:33:50,943 Isn't that fabric exquisite? 893 00:33:50,943 --> 00:33:52,353 MARJORIE: Stunning. (ON) THIMBERLY: All right. 894 00:33:52,353 --> 00:33:56,111 Well, we'll get out of your wet hair. 895 00:33:56,111 --> 00:33:58,596 [LAUGHTER] 896 00:34:00,593 --> 00:34:01,893 Hey. (ON) STAR: Hey. 897 00:34:01,893 --> 00:34:02,853 Hey, are you OK? 898 00:34:02,853 --> 00:34:04,403 Yeah. 899 00:34:04,403 --> 00:34:05,763 Um, I'm good. 900 00:34:05,763 --> 00:34:06,873 Yeah. 901 00:34:06,873 --> 00:34:10,262 It's a little harder than I thought, but it's been good. 902 00:34:10,262 --> 00:34:11,170 OK. 903 00:34:11,170 --> 00:34:13,503 Yeah, see, I've been struggling to get this play I wrote 904 00:34:13,503 --> 00:34:15,182 produced, so it's kind of comforting to know it's 905 00:34:15,182 --> 00:34:16,383 no cakewalk for you either. 906 00:34:16,383 --> 00:34:18,103 No, there's like hot coals. 907 00:34:18,103 --> 00:34:19,333 My feet are burnt. Ow. 908 00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:20,133 Blisters. 909 00:34:20,133 --> 00:34:20,933 Oh. 910 00:34:20,933 --> 00:34:22,192 And I'm treading on-- 911 00:34:22,192 --> 00:34:23,012 Sam? 912 00:34:23,012 --> 00:34:23,891 Yeah. 913 00:34:23,891 --> 00:34:25,099 Can I grab you? 914 00:34:25,099 --> 00:34:25,952 Uh-huh. 915 00:34:25,952 --> 00:34:27,753 All right. 916 00:34:27,753 --> 00:34:30,603 You are alarmingly behind schedule. 917 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:32,823 And I bit my tongue when you harbored a minor 918 00:34:32,823 --> 00:34:34,563 and when you held rehearsal in a tree, 919 00:34:34,563 --> 00:34:37,243 but this water debacle was wretched. 920 00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,043 It's bad. 921 00:34:38,043 --> 00:34:38,843 Yeah. 922 00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:40,682 Would it help if I sat in the room? 923 00:34:40,682 --> 00:34:43,083 I mean, it's tricky because I want you to be yourself. 924 00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:47,643 But the blueprint for what works here is Greggy. 925 00:34:47,643 --> 00:34:50,222 You know, he could go mad dog if he needed to 926 00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:52,335 or-- or morph into a trusted friend. 927 00:34:52,335 --> 00:34:54,366 Yeah, he was always flipping out on people. 928 00:34:54,366 --> 00:34:55,168 Yeah. 929 00:34:55,168 --> 00:34:56,403 And then, like, really weird and intimate. 930 00:34:56,403 --> 00:34:57,453 Yeah. (ON) SAM: I'll try that. 931 00:34:57,453 --> 00:34:59,973 You do not have to sit in rehearsals, my friend. 932 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:02,893 I am excellent at reading people. 933 00:35:02,893 --> 00:35:03,693 Trust me. 934 00:35:10,953 --> 00:35:13,198 [BANGING ON LID] 935 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:14,825 Morning, Sam. 936 00:35:17,743 --> 00:35:20,363 Davina, are you going to post about the show? 937 00:35:20,363 --> 00:35:21,769 No. 938 00:35:21,769 --> 00:35:24,259 [BANGING ON LID] 939 00:35:36,665 --> 00:35:38,665 Good morning. 940 00:35:39,743 --> 00:35:40,723 CLARA: Hey. 941 00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:43,815 Clara, how's your mom? 942 00:35:43,815 --> 00:35:44,773 She's good. 943 00:35:44,773 --> 00:35:47,023 Miss that old girl. 944 00:35:47,023 --> 00:35:49,153 Marjorie, you look cool today! 945 00:35:49,153 --> 00:35:50,273 Oh, thanks. 946 00:35:50,273 --> 00:35:51,073 Want this jacket? 947 00:35:51,073 --> 00:35:52,903 I don't, but thank you so much. 948 00:35:52,903 --> 00:35:53,983 That's so generous. 949 00:35:53,983 --> 00:35:55,033 Right off your back. 950 00:35:55,033 --> 00:35:56,743 Uh, who else we got in here? 951 00:35:56,743 --> 00:35:58,523 Davina! 952 00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:00,093 Rocking a cool new headband. 953 00:36:00,093 --> 00:36:01,493 I like it. (ON) DAVINA: Thank you, girl. 954 00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:03,743 I got it from a company in exchange for a post. 955 00:36:03,743 --> 00:36:08,183 Exciting creative relationship! 956 00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,223 Simon's over there nursing a coffee 957 00:36:13,223 --> 00:36:14,373 like it's his best friend. 958 00:36:14,373 --> 00:36:15,173 Mm-hmm. 959 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,590 What's your go-to order? 960 00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:17,543 What is it? 961 00:36:17,543 --> 00:36:19,172 I usually like an Americano 962 00:36:19,172 --> 00:36:19,974 with some agave in it. 963 00:36:19,974 --> 00:36:21,593 All right, enough chit-chat! 964 00:36:21,593 --> 00:36:22,628 Everybody down! 965 00:36:22,628 --> 00:36:24,953 [BANGING ON LID] 966 00:36:24,953 --> 00:36:27,078 [SHOUTING] 967 00:36:27,078 --> 00:36:27,878 Sam! 968 00:36:27,878 --> 00:36:30,953 Have we replaced a male predator with a female disaster? 969 00:36:30,953 --> 00:36:32,703 That's a false equivalency! 970 00:36:32,703 --> 00:36:36,311 Learn your blocking! 971 00:36:36,311 --> 00:36:37,353 Knock it off. 972 00:36:37,353 --> 00:36:39,895 You're making us all really uncomfortable, girl. 973 00:36:39,895 --> 00:36:41,243 Is this uncomfortable? 974 00:36:41,243 --> 00:36:42,663 Ka-blam! 975 00:36:42,663 --> 00:36:43,463 Yeah. 976 00:36:43,463 --> 00:36:44,963 You shot her. 977 00:36:44,963 --> 00:36:46,493 Blocking charts. 978 00:36:46,493 --> 00:36:47,628 Ever heard of them? 979 00:36:47,628 --> 00:36:49,264 You're going to want to memorize those. 980 00:36:49,264 --> 00:36:50,066 SIMON: Throwing shit at us? 981 00:36:50,066 --> 00:36:51,953 That'll help you know where you're standing. 982 00:36:51,953 --> 00:36:54,370 Yeah, I don't know how we memorize a picture. 983 00:36:54,370 --> 00:36:59,843 XTR to US of table? 984 00:36:59,843 --> 00:37:03,353 Cross down right to upstage of table. 985 00:37:03,353 --> 00:37:06,361 Clara, so there is a little brain 986 00:37:06,361 --> 00:37:07,403 knocking around in there. 987 00:37:07,403 --> 00:37:09,593 Ping, pong, poom, pom, poom pop. 988 00:37:09,593 --> 00:37:10,613 Good. 989 00:37:10,613 --> 00:37:11,693 Wow. 990 00:37:11,693 --> 00:37:13,523 We cue to cue in 20! 991 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:14,760 [BANGS ON LID] 992 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,593 Thank you, 20. (ON) SIMON: I'm taking a shit. 993 00:37:16,593 --> 00:37:17,473 I'm not dealing with this. 994 00:37:17,473 --> 00:37:18,573 I have a medical migraine. 995 00:37:18,573 --> 00:37:19,948 She was provoking me. 996 00:37:19,948 --> 00:37:21,767 Sam is out of her goddamn mind. 997 00:37:21,767 --> 00:37:23,159 [BANGING ON LID] 998 00:37:23,159 --> 00:37:25,753 Stay in the room! 999 00:37:25,753 --> 00:37:27,483 The doors are locked. 1000 00:37:27,483 --> 00:37:29,233 Everybody learn your lines, 1001 00:37:29,233 --> 00:37:30,193 your lines and blocking. 1002 00:37:30,193 --> 00:37:31,973 If you would have gotten that, then none of this 1003 00:37:31,973 --> 00:37:33,015 ever would have happened! 1004 00:37:35,608 --> 00:37:38,083 [TRANQUIL MUSIC] 1005 00:37:52,933 --> 00:37:55,408 [BANGING ON LID] 1006 00:38:01,008 --> 00:38:02,383 How's everyone feeling? 1007 00:38:02,383 --> 00:38:05,123 You've been working pretty hard out here. 1008 00:38:05,123 --> 00:38:05,953 I appreciate it. 1009 00:38:05,953 --> 00:38:08,175 Does anyone need anything, a cup of tea or something? 1010 00:38:08,975 --> 00:38:10,213 RUDIE: No. 1011 00:38:10,213 --> 00:38:11,293 No? 1012 00:38:11,293 --> 00:38:12,553 Everyone know all your marks? 1013 00:38:12,553 --> 00:38:15,743 You feel good, feel solid? 1014 00:38:15,743 --> 00:38:17,363 No one's talking to me? 1015 00:38:17,363 --> 00:38:18,203 Let's play ball. 1016 00:38:18,203 --> 00:38:19,508 Let's run it. 1017 00:38:19,508 --> 00:38:20,723 Oh my god. 1018 00:38:20,723 --> 00:38:21,893 Hey, wait. 1019 00:38:21,893 --> 00:38:23,037 You're supposed to take it off on me. 1020 00:38:23,037 --> 00:38:23,839 You got to scoot back. 1021 00:38:23,839 --> 00:38:25,253 You got to scoot back. 1022 00:38:25,253 --> 00:38:27,023 Houston, we have a problem. 1023 00:38:27,023 --> 00:38:27,878 Very out of sync. 1024 00:38:27,878 --> 00:38:30,873 You guys are improving like LA traffic is improving. 1025 00:38:30,873 --> 00:38:31,673 It ain't. 1026 00:38:31,673 --> 00:38:32,503 It's very wooden. 1027 00:38:32,503 --> 00:38:33,503 Where's the camaraderie? 1028 00:38:33,503 --> 00:38:34,545 Have you ever met before? 1029 00:38:34,545 --> 00:38:35,503 Do you know each other? 1030 00:38:35,503 --> 00:38:36,653 Just stop, OK? 1031 00:38:36,653 --> 00:38:38,223 We're not robots! 1032 00:38:38,223 --> 00:38:40,193 We're a bunch of people, just kind of hanging 1033 00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,693 out and living our lives. 1034 00:38:41,693 --> 00:38:44,993 You know, doing what humans do, having millions of feelings 1035 00:38:44,993 --> 00:38:46,553 like little tea candles, which you're 1036 00:38:46,553 --> 00:38:48,383 snuffing out every single one. 1037 00:38:48,383 --> 00:38:49,463 You want us to create? 1038 00:38:49,463 --> 00:38:51,503 You want us to protect our fire? 1039 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,933 We cannot because of you! 1040 00:38:53,933 --> 00:38:56,393 So why don't you stop being fake nice to us 1041 00:38:56,393 --> 00:38:57,743 and then yelling at us? 1042 00:38:57,743 --> 00:38:58,943 Boom, dude! 1043 00:38:58,943 --> 00:39:01,223 Come on, get a lifestyle. 1044 00:39:01,223 --> 00:39:03,071 It's ridiculous, Sam! 1045 00:39:03,071 --> 00:39:04,007 [SOBBING] 1046 00:39:04,007 --> 00:39:05,933 All right, what are you doing right now? 1047 00:39:05,933 --> 00:39:06,733 I'm sorry. 1048 00:39:06,733 --> 00:39:08,213 Are you filming yourself crying? 1049 00:39:08,213 --> 00:39:09,323 Yeah, people do that now. 1050 00:39:09,323 --> 00:39:11,531 They film themselves, like, crying or at the hospital 1051 00:39:11,531 --> 00:39:12,953 and then post with no explanation. 1052 00:39:12,953 --> 00:39:14,620 SIMON: You should put a filter on. 1053 00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:16,893 Oh my god! 1054 00:39:16,893 --> 00:39:18,743 This is our craft, Sam. 1055 00:39:18,743 --> 00:39:19,583 It's kind of a bummer, dude. 1056 00:39:19,583 --> 00:39:21,101 This feel like we work at, like, Amazon. 1057 00:39:21,101 --> 00:39:21,901 SAM: Amazon? Simon? 1058 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:22,701 Really? 1059 00:39:22,701 --> 00:39:23,501 Amazon. 1060 00:39:23,501 --> 00:39:24,413 Yes, Sam. 1061 00:39:24,413 --> 00:39:25,213 OK, I'm-- 1062 00:39:25,213 --> 00:39:27,210 I'm getting a lot of big feelings off everyone. 1063 00:39:27,210 --> 00:39:28,793 I'm-- I'm riding these waves with you. 1064 00:39:28,793 --> 00:39:30,843 And I got to tell you, I knew today was going to be hard. 1065 00:39:30,843 --> 00:39:31,853 I knew that. 1066 00:39:31,853 --> 00:39:34,333 So I got you a treat it's right over there. 1067 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:35,453 What is it? 1068 00:39:35,453 --> 00:39:37,163 SAM: That's a box full of donuts. 1069 00:39:37,163 --> 00:39:40,103 And each donut in there has one of your names on it. 1070 00:39:40,103 --> 00:39:42,413 Do you think we're little children? 1071 00:39:42,413 --> 00:39:43,253 You're not going to like 1072 00:39:43,253 --> 00:39:45,754 my answer, which is you are acting like a bunch of brats 1073 00:39:45,754 --> 00:39:46,556 right now. (ON) SIMON: Whoa! 1074 00:39:46,556 --> 00:39:47,963 (OFF) CLARA: Oh, my god. 1075 00:39:47,963 --> 00:39:50,713 That's it? 1076 00:39:50,713 --> 00:39:54,973 Sam, we quit. 1077 00:39:54,973 --> 00:39:56,183 OK. 1078 00:39:56,183 --> 00:39:57,891 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1079 00:39:57,891 --> 00:39:59,503 Quitting as in shuttering the show? 1080 00:39:59,503 --> 00:40:00,763 Maybe she can change, you know? 1081 00:40:00,763 --> 00:40:01,813 She can't. 1082 00:40:01,813 --> 00:40:02,896 Is this serious? 1083 00:40:02,896 --> 00:40:03,823 OK, we need to talk. 1084 00:40:03,823 --> 00:40:05,626 This whole situation has gotten very out of hand. 1085 00:40:06,428 --> 00:40:07,303 MARJORIE: Yeah. 1086 00:40:07,303 --> 00:40:09,703 All right, this is a little runaway train. 1087 00:40:09,703 --> 00:40:12,863 I think we need to talk through some of our issues 1088 00:40:12,863 --> 00:40:13,663 and make it right. 1089 00:40:13,663 --> 00:40:15,343 We're certainly not going to stop the show. 1090 00:40:15,343 --> 00:40:16,551 Don't be sheeple! 1091 00:40:19,653 --> 00:40:20,973 Follow me. 1092 00:40:20,973 --> 00:40:21,933 Oh, great. 1093 00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:24,581 Just like your mom walked out on you, right? 1094 00:40:24,581 --> 00:40:25,623 [WHISTLES] 1095 00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:26,723 Oh my God. 1096 00:40:26,723 --> 00:40:27,821 CLARA: Whoa. (ON) SIMON: That was crazy, bro. 1097 00:40:28,623 --> 00:40:29,553 DAVINA: Tsk-tsk. (ON) SIMON: I'm sorry, man. 1098 00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:30,420 I'm sorry. 1099 00:40:30,420 --> 00:40:31,503 Sam, you got to do better. 1100 00:40:31,503 --> 00:40:32,303 That was wild. 1101 00:40:33,103 --> 00:40:36,123 MARJORIE: Low blow, Sam. 1102 00:40:36,123 --> 00:40:38,088 Guys. 1103 00:40:38,088 --> 00:40:39,213 I'm sorry, Sam. 1104 00:40:51,996 --> 00:40:53,663 You're not cut out for this. 1105 00:41:06,323 --> 00:41:07,583 Yes. 1106 00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:09,023 Yes. Yes. 1107 00:41:09,023 --> 00:41:09,953 Come on, let's talk. 1108 00:41:12,653 --> 00:41:13,943 Come on. 1109 00:41:13,943 --> 00:41:14,843 Come back. 1110 00:41:14,843 --> 00:41:16,723 Rudie, come back! 1111 00:41:16,723 --> 00:41:19,873 Don't-- please. 1112 00:41:19,873 --> 00:41:23,173 Gerald, don't fucking dim the lights, man! 1113 00:41:23,173 --> 00:41:24,348 Work with me, Gerald! 1114 00:41:29,212 --> 00:41:31,667 [SOBBING] 1115 00:41:47,870 --> 00:41:50,523 Did you have an abortion like a few years ago? 1116 00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:51,333 Was that you? 1117 00:41:51,333 --> 00:41:52,293 No. 1118 00:41:52,293 --> 00:41:54,168 Oh, you wanted to freeze your eggs, 1119 00:41:54,168 --> 00:41:55,298 and you couldn't afford it. 1120 00:41:55,298 --> 00:41:56,631 More chardonnay? 1121 00:41:56,631 --> 00:41:57,543 Yes, yes. 1122 00:41:57,543 --> 00:41:59,938 Yessiree, Bob, I will take more, please. 1123 00:41:59,938 --> 00:42:02,121 Me too. 1124 00:42:02,121 --> 00:42:04,413 I'm going to have to put mine in a doggy bag. 1125 00:42:04,413 --> 00:42:05,645 Oh, why? 1126 00:42:05,645 --> 00:42:06,603 I have to go. 1127 00:42:06,603 --> 00:42:08,613 I have a date in 20 minutes. 1128 00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:11,043 And it's at the racetrack, which is 35 minutes away. 1129 00:42:11,043 --> 00:42:12,153 So you do the math. 1130 00:42:12,153 --> 00:42:13,093 Racetrack? 1131 00:42:13,093 --> 00:42:13,893 Listen. 1132 00:42:13,893 --> 00:42:15,003 Have a blast tonight. 1133 00:42:15,003 --> 00:42:17,593 Life is a non-stop party, or you're doing it wrong. 1134 00:42:17,593 --> 00:42:18,583 Got it? (ON) SAM: Yeah. 1135 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:19,383 Good. 1136 00:42:19,383 --> 00:42:21,423 Hang in there. 1137 00:42:21,423 --> 00:42:23,073 Thank you. 1138 00:42:23,073 --> 00:42:24,373 You're the best. 1139 00:42:24,373 --> 00:42:27,003 Thanks for paying for my drink. 1140 00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:30,433 Gosh, I love that girl. 1141 00:42:30,433 --> 00:42:31,233 Oh, hey. 1142 00:42:31,233 --> 00:42:33,873 I just thought of a joke. 1143 00:42:33,873 --> 00:42:37,875 What do horses drink? 1144 00:42:37,875 --> 00:42:40,923 Um, Chardon-neigh? 1145 00:42:40,923 --> 00:42:41,913 Yeah. 1146 00:42:41,913 --> 00:42:43,218 You got it on the first try. 1147 00:42:57,567 --> 00:43:00,203 Hey. 1148 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,413 Hi. 1149 00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:02,213 Oh. 1150 00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:03,013 Hi. 1151 00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:06,273 I feel like I know you, but I'm like wee, wee, wee. 1152 00:43:06,273 --> 00:43:07,450 I should really go home. 1153 00:43:07,450 --> 00:43:08,283 Oh, no. 1154 00:43:08,283 --> 00:43:09,108 That'd be sad. 1155 00:43:09,108 --> 00:43:09,908 Why? 1156 00:43:09,908 --> 00:43:12,141 Well, because I just got here. 1157 00:43:12,141 --> 00:43:12,969 Oh. 1158 00:43:12,969 --> 00:43:14,583 You had a rough day? 1159 00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:16,323 My boss is in here. 1160 00:43:16,323 --> 00:43:17,656 He's in your phone? 1161 00:43:17,656 --> 00:43:20,283 I had 17 missed calls from my boss. 1162 00:43:20,283 --> 00:43:22,813 My boss, he says no. 1163 00:43:22,813 --> 00:43:25,699 Maybe he was calling with 17 compliments? 1164 00:43:25,699 --> 00:43:30,133 [CHUCKLES] I wish! 1165 00:43:30,133 --> 00:43:31,493 Hey, you know what? 1166 00:43:31,493 --> 00:43:32,851 I thought of a joke. (ON) SAM: Hmm. 1167 00:43:32,851 --> 00:43:33,653 You want to hear it? 1168 00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:34,463 Yeah. 1169 00:43:34,463 --> 00:43:36,923 What do horses drink? 1170 00:43:36,923 --> 00:43:40,203 Oh my God, no! 1171 00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:41,273 You heard that? 1172 00:43:41,273 --> 00:43:42,231 I'm sorry. 1173 00:43:42,231 --> 00:43:43,203 Oh my God. 1174 00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:44,553 You're so bad. 1175 00:43:44,553 --> 00:43:46,317 You stole my joke! 1176 00:43:46,317 --> 00:43:47,523 [LAUGHS] 1177 00:43:47,523 --> 00:43:49,308 You scared me. 1178 00:43:49,308 --> 00:43:50,433 You're brilliant. 1179 00:43:50,433 --> 00:43:52,440 Where did you come from? 1180 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:53,523 I don't know. 1181 00:43:53,523 --> 00:43:54,601 Heaven. 1182 00:43:54,601 --> 00:43:56,643 Maybe that's why I'm wearing a white jean jacket. 1183 00:43:57,523 --> 00:43:59,793 SAM: I definitely do believe in angels. 1184 00:43:59,793 --> 00:44:00,783 I do. 1185 00:44:00,783 --> 00:44:03,490 I'm going to say something to you right now. 1186 00:44:03,490 --> 00:44:05,073 You're one of the most beautiful women 1187 00:44:05,073 --> 00:44:08,043 I've ever seen in my life. 1188 00:44:08,043 --> 00:44:09,303 You're stunning. 1189 00:44:09,303 --> 00:44:11,158 Thanks. 1190 00:44:11,158 --> 00:44:12,033 Hold on. 1191 00:44:12,033 --> 00:44:14,175 Don't move. 1192 00:44:14,175 --> 00:44:15,273 I said, don't move. 1193 00:44:15,273 --> 00:44:16,263 Sorry. 1194 00:44:16,263 --> 00:44:17,063 I know. 1195 00:44:17,063 --> 00:44:18,813 It's hard. 1196 00:44:18,813 --> 00:44:19,683 Ow! 1197 00:44:19,683 --> 00:44:20,523 You're hot. 1198 00:44:20,523 --> 00:44:21,933 Ah, thanks. 1199 00:44:21,933 --> 00:44:23,583 Man, who are you? 1200 00:44:23,583 --> 00:44:25,653 Who are you? 1201 00:44:31,283 --> 00:44:33,073 You're so alert. 1202 00:44:33,073 --> 00:44:35,093 Let's go. 1203 00:44:35,093 --> 00:44:36,023 Where? 1204 00:44:36,023 --> 00:44:37,793 I want you to see my house. 1205 00:44:37,793 --> 00:44:39,393 It's an apartment. 1206 00:44:39,393 --> 00:44:40,913 Oh. 1207 00:44:40,913 --> 00:44:43,853 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1208 00:44:52,673 --> 00:44:54,143 Morning. 1209 00:44:54,143 --> 00:44:55,623 [GIGGLING] 1210 00:44:55,623 --> 00:44:56,803 Oh my goodness. 1211 00:44:56,803 --> 00:44:57,603 Humans, wow. 1212 00:44:57,603 --> 00:44:58,683 We're just animals. 1213 00:44:58,683 --> 00:44:59,653 We're fucking. 1214 00:44:59,653 --> 00:45:00,453 Animals. 1215 00:45:00,453 --> 00:45:01,328 Totally. 1216 00:45:02,128 --> 00:45:03,065 Yeah. 1217 00:45:03,065 --> 00:45:05,017 Hey. 1218 00:45:05,017 --> 00:45:13,143 Uh, I want to do Cooper in the play. 1219 00:45:13,143 --> 00:45:15,493 How do you even know my play? 1220 00:45:15,493 --> 00:45:17,303 Because I'm Robbie. 1221 00:45:17,303 --> 00:45:19,613 I'm the head usher at the Regis. 1222 00:45:19,613 --> 00:45:20,658 What? 1223 00:45:20,658 --> 00:45:21,533 Come on. 1224 00:45:21,533 --> 00:45:22,408 You knew that, right? 1225 00:45:22,408 --> 00:45:24,063 I did not know that. 1226 00:45:24,063 --> 00:45:26,153 Then you should know the play's shut down. 1227 00:45:26,153 --> 00:45:27,236 Yeah, I know. 1228 00:45:27,236 --> 00:45:28,628 What a better time to recast? 1229 00:45:28,628 --> 00:45:31,613 Look, I don't want to be an usher forever. 1230 00:45:31,613 --> 00:45:34,078 I-- I've got aspirations too. 1231 00:45:34,078 --> 00:45:35,803 I mean, look at you. 1232 00:45:35,803 --> 00:45:37,303 You were a scuzzy little playwright, 1233 00:45:37,303 --> 00:45:39,613 and now you're a director. 1234 00:45:39,613 --> 00:45:40,453 Kind of. 1235 00:45:40,453 --> 00:45:42,223 Let me take a crack at the Cooper monologue 1236 00:45:42,223 --> 00:45:44,233 from the final act, from the final scene. 1237 00:45:44,233 --> 00:45:48,823 Please Ahem. 1238 00:45:48,823 --> 00:45:50,203 OK. 1239 00:45:50,203 --> 00:45:53,013 I killed daddy. 1240 00:45:53,013 --> 00:45:54,310 It was me. 1241 00:45:54,310 --> 00:45:56,643 I should have never taken him down to that watering hole 1242 00:45:56,643 --> 00:45:57,663 by the mining company. 1243 00:45:57,663 --> 00:45:59,673 I'm going to stop you. 1244 00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:03,453 Um, I don't think that you're Regis material. 1245 00:46:03,453 --> 00:46:04,253 I like you. 1246 00:46:04,253 --> 00:46:07,663 I think you're so awesome and cool. 1247 00:46:07,663 --> 00:46:09,781 Bullshit. 1248 00:46:09,781 --> 00:46:10,823 What'd you say? 1249 00:46:10,823 --> 00:46:12,031 I said bullshit. 1250 00:46:15,483 --> 00:46:17,663 You know what? 1251 00:46:17,663 --> 00:46:21,588 I don't think you're girlfriend material. 1252 00:46:21,588 --> 00:46:22,713 How do you feel about that? 1253 00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:23,783 Wait. 1254 00:46:23,783 --> 00:46:25,103 I thought we connected. 1255 00:46:25,103 --> 00:46:26,783 Nothing to see here! 1256 00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:28,991 {\an8}Just a woman screwing her underling. 1257 00:46:28,991 --> 00:46:30,158 That is a stretch! 1258 00:46:30,158 --> 00:46:31,673 Who reports to her! 1259 00:46:31,673 --> 00:46:32,473 Stretch! 1260 00:46:32,473 --> 00:46:34,335 Whatever you say, boss. 1261 00:46:34,335 --> 00:46:35,643 Shut up! 1262 00:46:35,643 --> 00:46:37,563 I-- I didn't even recognize him. 1263 00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:38,363 Burn. 1264 00:46:38,363 --> 00:46:40,628 Also, I was extremely drunk, and he was not. 1265 00:46:40,628 --> 00:46:42,418 Then that would be assault. 1266 00:46:42,418 --> 00:46:43,793 OK, by that definition, 1267 00:46:43,793 --> 00:46:45,743 I have been assaulted hundreds of times. 1268 00:46:45,743 --> 00:46:47,243 Sometimes you have to buff 1269 00:46:47,243 --> 00:46:48,785 the veneer off the status quo and lay 1270 00:46:48,785 --> 00:46:50,103 bare the truth beneath it. 1271 00:46:50,103 --> 00:46:51,781 But-- but you're a writer. 1272 00:46:51,781 --> 00:46:53,573 You must do that all the time in your work. 1273 00:46:56,223 --> 00:46:58,833 Hey, give me back my white jean jacket! 1274 00:46:58,833 --> 00:47:01,688 Here you go, you stupid idiot! 1275 00:47:01,688 --> 00:47:02,688 Be careful! 1276 00:47:13,090 --> 00:47:15,861 [SIGHS] We got 15 minutes left in our sesh, bro. 1277 00:47:15,861 --> 00:47:17,153 What do you want to talk about? 1278 00:47:17,153 --> 00:47:18,293 What hurts the most? 1279 00:47:18,293 --> 00:47:20,163 That you didn't succeed, that you 1280 00:47:20,163 --> 00:47:24,413 were a female pawn for the patriarchy set up to fail? 1281 00:47:24,413 --> 00:47:25,313 Is it my drinking? 1282 00:47:25,313 --> 00:47:26,273 Is it our drinking? 1283 00:47:26,273 --> 00:47:27,263 No. 1284 00:47:27,263 --> 00:47:28,943 Oh, it's the usher, right? 1285 00:47:28,943 --> 00:47:30,443 Dude, it's the usher. 1286 00:47:30,443 --> 00:47:33,683 He got you hot in the loins, then he left you for dead? 1287 00:47:33,683 --> 00:47:34,763 What, is it Sheldon? 1288 00:47:34,763 --> 00:47:36,293 I mean, who cares about Sheldon? 1289 00:47:36,293 --> 00:47:38,753 What, are you afraid to return Sheldon's phone calls? 1290 00:47:38,753 --> 00:47:41,333 You know, you always adopt this childlike mentality 1291 00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,283 with powerful men. 1292 00:47:43,283 --> 00:47:44,891 Is it the square? 1293 00:47:44,891 --> 00:47:47,183 Because I need to bust it out so you can remit payment. 1294 00:47:47,183 --> 00:47:49,308 What kind of therapist babbles like this? 1295 00:47:49,308 --> 00:47:50,483 Are you a gumshoe? 1296 00:47:50,483 --> 00:47:51,713 Are you on cocaine again? 1297 00:47:51,713 --> 00:47:53,333 Are you using? 1298 00:47:53,333 --> 00:47:55,793 I don't even know what you mean by that. 1299 00:47:55,793 --> 00:47:57,623 I think you're on cocaine. 1300 00:47:57,623 --> 00:47:59,663 And I don't think we should have sessions when 1301 00:47:59,663 --> 00:48:03,923 you're [CLICKS] on the [CLICK]. 1302 00:48:03,923 --> 00:48:06,033 So you don't want to use the Square or? 1303 00:48:06,033 --> 00:48:07,623 Here. Here. 1304 00:48:07,623 --> 00:48:08,423 Fuck the Square. 1305 00:48:08,423 --> 00:48:09,223 Here. 1306 00:48:09,223 --> 00:48:11,063 You want money so bad? 1307 00:48:11,063 --> 00:48:12,093 There. 1308 00:48:12,093 --> 00:48:13,583 And I am not scared of Sheldon. 1309 00:48:13,583 --> 00:48:15,353 That's actually ridiculous. 1310 00:48:15,353 --> 00:48:17,336 You should be ashamed of that theory. 1311 00:48:17,336 --> 00:48:19,751 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1312 00:48:20,693 --> 00:48:21,493 Sheldon. 1313 00:48:23,676 --> 00:48:25,093 Where have you been? 1314 00:48:25,093 --> 00:48:26,250 I'm treading water here. 1315 00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:28,333 I couldn't handle the mutiny, obviously. 1316 00:48:28,333 --> 00:48:30,323 All actors want is to act. 1317 00:48:30,323 --> 00:48:32,353 All day they're dying to get back here 1318 00:48:32,353 --> 00:48:34,333 to be anyone but themselves. 1319 00:48:34,333 --> 00:48:37,723 You somehow made them prefer their own lives 1320 00:48:37,723 --> 00:48:39,373 to the land of make-believe? 1321 00:48:39,373 --> 00:48:40,903 I mean, that's impressive, Sam. 1322 00:48:40,903 --> 00:48:42,493 Can you just help me get Rudie to fold? 1323 00:48:42,493 --> 00:48:43,523 He blocked my number. 1324 00:48:43,523 --> 00:48:45,523 No, I will not take on your drama. 1325 00:48:45,523 --> 00:48:46,813 Please just help me out. 1326 00:48:46,813 --> 00:48:47,713 It's your theater. 1327 00:48:47,713 --> 00:48:51,173 I will not take on your drama! 1328 00:48:51,173 --> 00:48:54,533 Look, what's behind every powerful man? 1329 00:48:54,533 --> 00:48:56,003 A family with money? 1330 00:48:56,003 --> 00:49:00,935 A woman who gains power by proxy. 1331 00:49:00,935 --> 00:49:03,355 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1332 00:49:05,775 --> 00:49:06,743 [RINGING DOORBELL] 1333 00:49:06,743 --> 00:49:08,933 Clara. 1334 00:49:08,933 --> 00:49:09,803 Come on, man. 1335 00:49:09,803 --> 00:49:15,046 Open the door. 1336 00:49:15,046 --> 00:49:15,933 Open the door! 1337 00:49:15,933 --> 00:49:17,363 God, Sam. 1338 00:49:17,363 --> 00:49:18,203 Hey. 1339 00:49:18,203 --> 00:49:19,493 I'm not supposed to talk to you. 1340 00:49:19,493 --> 00:49:21,713 But you kind of want to, don't you? 1341 00:49:21,713 --> 00:49:22,923 Well, I don't. 1342 00:49:22,923 --> 00:49:23,723 'Sup? 1343 00:49:23,723 --> 00:49:24,573 A lot of bowls. 1344 00:49:24,573 --> 00:49:25,373 Hmm. 1345 00:49:25,373 --> 00:49:26,173 I'd be careful. 1346 00:49:26,173 --> 00:49:27,553 You're on really thin ice. 1347 00:49:27,553 --> 00:49:28,353 Am I? 1348 00:49:33,693 --> 00:49:35,493 So life is good, then? 1349 00:49:35,493 --> 00:49:37,833 Having fun following a male-led mutiny against 1350 00:49:37,833 --> 00:49:39,463 a first-time female director? 1351 00:49:39,463 --> 00:49:40,263 My God. 1352 00:49:40,263 --> 00:49:42,120 Sam, don't embrace those labels. 1353 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,953 They're not labels, they're facts. 1354 00:49:43,953 --> 00:49:46,761 I have a vagina, no? 1355 00:49:46,761 --> 00:49:47,803 I don't know. 1356 00:49:47,803 --> 00:49:49,363 Fact-- you have one too. 1357 00:49:49,363 --> 00:49:52,543 Fact-- you and your vagina took me and my vagina for granted. 1358 00:49:52,543 --> 00:49:55,003 And you and your vagina left me and my vagina for dead. 1359 00:49:55,003 --> 00:49:56,263 I'm really uncomfortable 1360 00:49:56,263 --> 00:49:57,913 with the direction this conversation is going. 1361 00:49:57,913 --> 00:49:58,713 Are you? 1362 00:49:58,713 --> 00:50:00,598 Because I thought you loved the body. 1363 00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:01,471 I do. 1364 00:50:01,471 --> 00:50:03,737 SAM: And I thought you loved medical terminology. 1365 00:50:03,737 --> 00:50:04,539 I do. 1366 00:50:04,539 --> 00:50:05,563 You turned your back on me. 1367 00:50:05,563 --> 00:50:07,363 And now you and me are sitting here with our fucking 1368 00:50:07,363 --> 00:50:08,293 dicks in our hands. 1369 00:50:08,293 --> 00:50:11,293 We got nothing to do. 1370 00:50:11,293 --> 00:50:12,218 Fuck. 1371 00:50:12,218 --> 00:50:13,018 You're right. 1372 00:50:16,263 --> 00:50:18,003 Fucking Rudie. 1373 00:50:18,003 --> 00:50:19,623 He's projecting his mother onto you. 1374 00:50:19,623 --> 00:50:21,653 It's not fair. 1375 00:50:21,653 --> 00:50:22,945 You're completely childless. 1376 00:50:22,945 --> 00:50:24,403 He doesn't go to therapy. 1377 00:50:24,403 --> 00:50:26,066 I bet he doesn't do anything like that. 1378 00:50:26,066 --> 00:50:27,983 He doesn't do any work on himself. 1379 00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:32,413 I do so much work on myself, Sam. 1380 00:50:32,413 --> 00:50:33,767 I'm so scared of losing the show. 1381 00:50:33,767 --> 00:50:34,569 We won't. 1382 00:50:34,569 --> 00:50:35,863 We're going to get it back, Clara. 1383 00:50:35,863 --> 00:50:36,663 Yeah. 1384 00:50:36,663 --> 00:50:38,713 You have to talk to him. 1385 00:50:38,713 --> 00:50:40,170 OK. 1386 00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:41,503 The show must go on. 1387 00:50:41,503 --> 00:50:42,373 Yes. 1388 00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:43,706 The show must go on! 1389 00:50:43,706 --> 00:50:44,593 It has to. 1390 00:50:44,593 --> 00:50:46,093 God, he does this to me. 1391 00:50:46,093 --> 00:50:48,993 He does this to everyone. 1392 00:50:48,993 --> 00:50:51,663 That's what a star does. 1393 00:50:51,663 --> 00:50:53,143 You're a star too. 1394 00:50:53,143 --> 00:50:54,601 Do you really think so? 1395 00:50:57,563 --> 00:51:00,363 I hate how much I needed to hear that from you. 1396 00:51:00,363 --> 00:51:01,608 Never forget that. 1397 00:51:04,843 --> 00:51:08,605 Also, full disclosure, I fucked Greggy. 1398 00:51:08,605 --> 00:51:09,813 It was something I had to do. 1399 00:51:13,153 --> 00:51:14,113 I'm glad you came. 1400 00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:15,753 Me you. (ON) CLARA: Thought you might. 1401 00:51:15,753 --> 00:51:17,233 Vag-- vag you came. 1402 00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:18,723 Vag you came. 1403 00:51:18,723 --> 00:51:19,753 I was nervous. 1404 00:51:19,753 --> 00:51:20,923 Yeah. (ON) SAM: Look. 1405 00:51:20,923 --> 00:51:22,533 I think I'm-- (ON) CLARA: Oh my God. 1406 00:51:22,533 --> 00:51:23,823 I was so nervous. 1407 00:51:23,823 --> 00:51:24,923 Yeah. 1408 00:51:24,923 --> 00:51:25,723 God. 1409 00:51:25,723 --> 00:51:29,398 See, he always finds these cushy jobs. 1410 00:51:29,398 --> 00:51:31,623 Here we are. 1411 00:51:31,623 --> 00:51:32,975 Where? 1412 00:51:32,975 --> 00:51:34,463 There. 1413 00:51:34,463 --> 00:51:35,273 Oh. 1414 00:51:35,273 --> 00:51:36,713 Hey, Rudie. 1415 00:51:36,713 --> 00:51:38,933 You're looking great, bud. 1416 00:51:38,933 --> 00:51:43,073 I am so sorry that you had to sit there and watch me struggle 1417 00:51:43,073 --> 00:51:44,163 through my learning curve. 1418 00:51:44,163 --> 00:51:48,833 It wasn't fair to you, no matter how imbalanced the scales 1419 00:51:48,833 --> 00:51:50,320 of gender are in directing. 1420 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,486 Stick to the script. 1421 00:51:52,486 --> 00:51:54,528 But, Rudie, the show must go on, right? 1422 00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:56,903 You should have thought about that before you 1423 00:51:56,903 --> 00:51:58,613 went ballistic in a tech rehearsal 1424 00:51:58,613 --> 00:52:01,313 and turned my life's passion into a chore! 1425 00:52:01,313 --> 00:52:05,633 Rudie, you hate chores because your mother turned 1426 00:52:05,633 --> 00:52:07,493 love itself into a chore. 1427 00:52:07,493 --> 00:52:11,243 But I am not her, I promise you. 1428 00:52:11,243 --> 00:52:16,543 And you cannot let those ancient feelings stop our show. 1429 00:52:16,543 --> 00:52:19,003 You don't belong here shilling fast fashion. 1430 00:52:19,003 --> 00:52:19,803 OK? 1431 00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:20,653 It's crass. 1432 00:52:20,653 --> 00:52:21,570 She's right. 1433 00:52:21,570 --> 00:52:23,863 You are one of the best damn actors 1434 00:52:23,863 --> 00:52:26,023 I have ever laid eyes on. 1435 00:52:26,023 --> 00:52:28,283 You belong on the stage! 1436 00:52:28,283 --> 00:52:31,873 The show must go on. 1437 00:52:31,873 --> 00:52:33,463 The commute is better. 1438 00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:38,443 (SINGING) The show must go on! 1439 00:52:42,643 --> 00:52:48,313 (SINGING) The show must go on. 1440 00:52:48,313 --> 00:52:51,393 The show must go on. 1441 00:52:55,993 --> 00:52:59,263 Oh, this feels good! 1442 00:52:59,263 --> 00:53:00,783 Yes. (ON) CLARA: It does feel good. 1443 00:53:00,783 --> 00:53:01,713 I have to admit it. 1444 00:53:01,713 --> 00:53:04,083 It feels good. 1445 00:53:04,083 --> 00:53:05,123 I'm in. 1446 00:53:05,123 --> 00:53:06,723 Amazing! 1447 00:53:06,723 --> 00:53:09,073 I'll rally the cast. 1448 00:53:09,073 --> 00:53:09,873 Wait. 1449 00:53:09,873 --> 00:53:11,433 Was there an earthquake today? 1450 00:53:11,433 --> 00:53:12,813 No, I don't think so. 1451 00:53:12,813 --> 00:53:13,730 Oh, weird. 1452 00:53:13,730 --> 00:53:16,753 It looks like you got ready during an earthquake. 1453 00:53:16,753 --> 00:53:19,016 We are back! 1454 00:53:19,816 --> 00:53:22,663 We are Back! 1455 00:53:22,663 --> 00:53:24,783 Rain's coming in. 1456 00:53:24,783 --> 00:53:28,953 Rain's coming in! 1457 00:53:28,953 --> 00:53:32,703 I am hungry! 1458 00:53:32,703 --> 00:53:33,653 Oh, man. 1459 00:53:33,653 --> 00:53:36,273 Sam, aren't you always hungry at this age? 1460 00:53:36,273 --> 00:53:37,313 I'm like, oh! 1461 00:53:37,313 --> 00:53:39,153 Oh, I missed you guys. 1462 00:53:39,153 --> 00:53:41,733 I love you! 1463 00:53:41,733 --> 00:53:45,483 Being here in this group, I missed that. 1464 00:53:45,483 --> 00:53:47,973 I missed feeling the room. 1465 00:53:47,973 --> 00:53:49,571 I missed hearing language, staying 1466 00:53:49,571 --> 00:53:50,613 alert, going what's that? 1467 00:53:50,613 --> 00:53:52,173 What's my line, and then knowing that it was 1468 00:53:52,173 --> 00:53:53,373 already in me the whole time. 1469 00:53:53,373 --> 00:53:54,933 You all missed each other. 1470 00:53:54,933 --> 00:53:55,786 Got it! 1471 00:53:55,786 --> 00:53:56,703 Yeah. 1472 00:53:56,703 --> 00:53:59,463 We fiddled with the pressure balancing valve. 1473 00:53:59,463 --> 00:54:02,446 It should keep the rain temperature from fluctuating. 1474 00:54:02,446 --> 00:54:03,363 Great, guys. 1475 00:54:03,363 --> 00:54:04,366 Nice adjustment. 1476 00:54:04,366 --> 00:54:05,283 Yeah. 1477 00:54:05,283 --> 00:54:08,713 That way you can't get severely burned. 1478 00:54:08,713 --> 00:54:09,588 Cool beans. 1479 00:54:10,388 --> 00:54:12,093 It's pretty cool beans! 1480 00:54:12,093 --> 00:54:13,480 Why do you say it so high like that? 1481 00:54:14,282 --> 00:54:15,243 Why do you say it so high like that? 1482 00:54:15,243 --> 00:54:16,540 Shut up! 1483 00:54:16,540 --> 00:54:17,373 All right. 1484 00:54:17,373 --> 00:54:18,603 All right, guys. 1485 00:54:18,603 --> 00:54:21,403 This production is a total fucking heat roller. 1486 00:54:21,403 --> 00:54:22,677 Not sure what that means, guys, but let's 1487 00:54:22,677 --> 00:54:23,478 keep our-- 1488 00:54:23,478 --> 00:54:24,279 Is heat roller good or bad? 1489 00:54:24,279 --> 00:54:25,323 Keep our thoughts up there, OK? 1490 00:54:25,323 --> 00:54:27,344 We're trying to focus down here. We've got a big job ahead. 1491 00:54:28,146 --> 00:54:28,953 Yeah, drinks later. 1492 00:54:28,953 --> 00:54:29,755 Love you. 1493 00:54:29,755 --> 00:54:31,166 Great to see you guys again. 1494 00:54:31,966 --> 00:54:33,393 Fuck off! 1495 00:54:33,393 --> 00:54:35,103 Let's shake that off. 1496 00:54:35,103 --> 00:54:39,183 You guys, I promised you a treat once, didn't I? 1497 00:54:39,183 --> 00:54:42,633 Well, today is the day that treat is back-- 1498 00:54:42,633 --> 00:54:44,343 a bajillion donuts. 1499 00:54:44,343 --> 00:54:45,143 Hello. 1500 00:54:45,143 --> 00:54:46,185 Oh my god. 1501 00:54:46,185 --> 00:54:47,063 I love donuts! 1502 00:54:47,063 --> 00:54:48,503 They make me so happy. 1503 00:54:48,503 --> 00:54:51,943 Cast donuts, huh? 1504 00:54:51,943 --> 00:54:53,383 Typical. 1505 00:54:53,383 --> 00:54:54,913 Robbie, enter stage right. 1506 00:54:54,913 --> 00:54:57,079 Robbie, don't. 1507 00:54:57,079 --> 00:55:00,523 Sugar can cause complications 1508 00:55:00,523 --> 00:55:06,681 that ultimately result in death, inflammation, diabetes. 1509 00:55:06,681 --> 00:55:07,723 Come on, man. 1510 00:55:07,723 --> 00:55:12,093 One donut could realistically 1511 00:55:12,093 --> 00:55:14,471 feed up to 10 people. 1512 00:55:14,471 --> 00:55:16,263 What in God's name are you doing? 1513 00:55:16,263 --> 00:55:17,373 And what's the accent? 1514 00:55:17,373 --> 00:55:18,473 What is this? 1515 00:55:18,473 --> 00:55:21,643 He's taking two donuts! 1516 00:55:21,643 --> 00:55:23,546 Exeunt Robbie. 1517 00:55:23,546 --> 00:55:25,713 You know, a lot of different personalities 1518 00:55:25,713 --> 00:55:27,273 in here, but let's just keep the energy up. 1519 00:55:27,273 --> 00:55:28,273 Yoo hoo. 1520 00:55:28,273 --> 00:55:29,418 Oh, Thimberly. 1521 00:55:29,418 --> 00:55:30,813 You slipped in undetected. 1522 00:55:30,813 --> 00:55:33,535 That's what I said to Miles last night. 1523 00:55:33,535 --> 00:55:34,953 [LAUGHTER] 1524 00:55:34,953 --> 00:55:36,183 Good news, gang. 1525 00:55:36,183 --> 00:55:39,143 We got Alabama jazz. 1526 00:55:39,143 --> 00:55:39,943 Hurray! 1527 00:55:39,943 --> 00:55:41,903 Alabama jazz! 1528 00:55:41,903 --> 00:55:42,890 Amazing. 1529 00:55:42,890 --> 00:55:44,372 Really punctures the eyes. 1530 00:55:44,372 --> 00:55:45,174 Hey, gal. 1531 00:55:45,174 --> 00:55:46,753 Do you want to see our curtain call or what? 1532 00:55:46,753 --> 00:55:49,423 Yeah, a little curtain call showcase for Thimberly. 1533 00:55:49,423 --> 00:55:50,533 Come right this way. 1534 00:55:50,533 --> 00:55:52,015 And-- 1535 00:55:52,815 --> 00:55:54,608 Oh, look at this. 1536 00:55:56,193 --> 00:55:56,993 Oh. 1537 00:55:56,993 --> 00:55:58,763 Oh, my friends. 1538 00:55:58,763 --> 00:56:00,963 I believe we're ready for previews. 1539 00:56:00,963 --> 00:56:03,893 I knew it. I knew it. 1540 00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:06,060 Miles and I would like to invite you 1541 00:56:06,060 --> 00:56:08,603 all over for a cautiously celebratory dinner tomorrow 1542 00:56:08,603 --> 00:56:10,043 night at 3:30. 1543 00:56:10,043 --> 00:56:11,821 Yes! 1544 00:56:11,821 --> 00:56:12,863 MARJORIE: I accept. 1545 00:56:12,863 --> 00:56:14,003 Will there be lobster? 1546 00:56:14,003 --> 00:56:15,473 Miles does all the cooking. 1547 00:56:15,473 --> 00:56:17,993 Well, that's such a wonderful invite, Thimberly. 1548 00:56:17,993 --> 00:56:19,703 Dress sharp. (OFF) MARJORIE: Wow. 1549 00:56:19,703 --> 00:56:20,503 OK. 1550 00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:21,803 Oh, a 3:30 dinner? 1551 00:56:21,803 --> 00:56:23,136 No ripped jeans. 1552 00:56:24,990 --> 00:56:26,983 MARJORIE: Oh, I say. (ON) CLARA: I dare say. 1553 00:56:26,983 --> 00:56:27,993 Are we at Buckingham Palace? 1554 00:56:27,993 --> 00:56:30,048 I feel like I'm in London. 1555 00:56:30,048 --> 00:56:32,067 Act like you've been there before. 1556 00:56:32,067 --> 00:56:34,153 Look at this house. 1557 00:56:34,153 --> 00:56:34,953 Hi. 1558 00:56:34,953 --> 00:56:35,753 Hello. 1559 00:56:35,753 --> 00:56:37,403 Hi. 1560 00:56:37,403 --> 00:56:38,278 Thimberly and Miles? 1561 00:56:38,278 --> 00:56:39,078 SAM: Yes. 1562 00:56:39,078 --> 00:56:39,878 SIMON: Yes. 1563 00:56:39,878 --> 00:56:41,703 It's that house over there. 1564 00:56:41,703 --> 00:56:43,293 Yeah, the small one. 1565 00:56:43,293 --> 00:56:44,223 Over there. 1566 00:56:44,223 --> 00:56:45,183 Yeah, there's a path. 1567 00:56:45,183 --> 00:56:47,113 Open your eyes. 1568 00:56:47,113 --> 00:56:48,843 Take the path. Just take the path and go. 1569 00:56:48,843 --> 00:56:49,833 All right. 1570 00:56:49,833 --> 00:56:51,123 WOMAN: Are you stupid? 1571 00:56:51,123 --> 00:56:52,428 Go down the path. 1572 00:56:52,428 --> 00:56:53,965 This way! (OFF) WOMAN: Just keep walking. 1573 00:56:53,965 --> 00:56:54,767 Oh, hi. 1574 00:56:54,767 --> 00:56:56,131 Careful on that top step. 1575 00:56:56,131 --> 00:56:57,523 Guess it's down here. 1576 00:56:57,523 --> 00:56:58,643 MILES: Come on down. 1577 00:56:58,643 --> 00:57:00,435 MARJORIE: I want to go to that house. 1578 00:57:02,808 --> 00:57:04,683 Would anyone like more beans? 1579 00:57:04,683 --> 00:57:06,018 I dream of beanie. 1580 00:57:06,018 --> 00:57:08,403 Did you just say, I dream of beanie? 1581 00:57:08,403 --> 00:57:09,443 Oh my God. 1582 00:57:09,443 --> 00:57:12,603 Beyond my wildest beans. 1583 00:57:12,603 --> 00:57:14,103 You know, it's so funny. 1584 00:57:14,103 --> 00:57:16,306 We thought you lived up in the large, white house. 1585 00:57:16,306 --> 00:57:17,973 The mansion up on the hill, 1586 00:57:17,973 --> 00:57:19,353 the big, white mansion. 1587 00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:20,463 But we're not there. 1588 00:57:20,463 --> 00:57:21,631 No. 1589 00:57:21,631 --> 00:57:23,673 How else do you think we would accumulate wealth? 1590 00:57:23,673 --> 00:57:25,383 Ah. (ON) MILES: We scrimp, we save. 1591 00:57:25,383 --> 00:57:28,731 We live below our means in the guest house of our own mansion. 1592 00:57:28,731 --> 00:57:30,273 Why don't people do that? 1593 00:57:30,273 --> 00:57:32,440 And a TikToker lives in our mansion. 1594 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,336 I love TikTok. 1595 00:57:34,336 --> 00:57:36,003 And this is Sugar Belle. 1596 00:57:36,003 --> 00:57:37,869 She lives under the table. 1597 00:57:37,869 --> 00:57:40,149 [LAUGHTER] 1598 00:57:41,523 --> 00:57:42,973 Would anyone like some more water? 1599 00:57:42,973 --> 00:57:43,773 Hmm. 1600 00:57:43,773 --> 00:57:44,973 Thank you. 1601 00:57:44,973 --> 00:57:47,358 You know, your art here is so evocative. 1602 00:57:48,158 --> 00:57:49,103 DAVINA: Oh, yes. 1603 00:57:49,103 --> 00:57:50,228 Really, though. 1604 00:57:50,228 --> 00:57:52,946 The horse, kind of classic symbol of aristocracy. 1605 00:57:52,946 --> 00:57:54,363 I love the back legs. 1606 00:57:54,363 --> 00:57:56,013 Pardon me. 1607 00:57:56,013 --> 00:57:58,533 Sheldon intimated that perhaps you lot 1608 00:57:58,533 --> 00:58:00,213 had skipped some rehearsals and were 1609 00:58:00,213 --> 00:58:01,683 squandering our investment. 1610 00:58:01,683 --> 00:58:03,183 THIMBERLY: Don't start, Miles. 1611 00:58:03,183 --> 00:58:05,848 It is a fair line of inquiry, Thimberly. 1612 00:58:05,848 --> 00:58:07,473 It was a creative decision. 1613 00:58:08,273 --> 00:58:09,723 (On) SAM: Yeah. 1614 00:58:09,723 --> 00:58:13,383 We needed to take a beat, come back to it fresh. 1615 00:58:13,383 --> 00:58:18,513 Young man, that's a waste of our funds. 1616 00:58:18,513 --> 00:58:20,043 Miles, can I just ask, is 1617 00:58:20,043 --> 00:58:21,960 that your actual shoulder muscle, 1618 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,583 or is that a shoulder pad? Can I-- 1619 00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:24,383 Oh. 1620 00:58:24,383 --> 00:58:26,043 Oh my God. 1621 00:58:26,043 --> 00:58:27,001 Wow, Miles. 1622 00:58:27,001 --> 00:58:28,239 It's a muscle. 1623 00:58:28,239 --> 00:58:29,525 Oh! 1624 00:58:29,525 --> 00:58:30,983 Muscle, muscle, muscle. 1625 00:58:30,983 --> 00:58:31,863 Hercules. 1626 00:58:31,863 --> 00:58:35,283 My secret is I don't eat breakfast or lunch. 1627 00:58:35,283 --> 00:58:36,693 And then for dinner-- 1628 00:58:36,693 --> 00:58:39,043 almost nothing. 1629 00:58:39,043 --> 00:58:42,063 And then you have to keep moving all the time. 1630 00:58:42,063 --> 00:58:44,373 Never stop moving and stay low. 1631 00:58:44,373 --> 00:58:47,163 Always keep moving because it keeps the pounds off and will 1632 00:58:47,163 --> 00:58:48,693 keep your metabolism high. 1633 00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:50,953 Move, move, move, move, move. 1634 00:58:50,953 --> 00:58:51,753 Keep moving. 1635 00:58:51,753 --> 00:58:54,693 And stay low when I walk, lower than you would think. 1636 00:58:54,693 --> 00:58:57,003 Never stop moving. 1637 00:58:57,003 --> 00:58:59,863 And that's why I'm fit as a fiddle. 1638 00:58:59,863 --> 00:59:01,318 Bravo. 1639 00:59:01,318 --> 00:59:02,773 MARJORIE: Bravo. (OFF) CLARA: I love you guys. 1640 00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:03,973 That sounds hard, fella. 1641 00:59:03,973 --> 00:59:05,503 I show no signs of slowing down. 1642 00:59:05,503 --> 00:59:06,703 No, you don't. 1643 00:59:06,703 --> 00:59:07,786 Oh, thank you. 1644 00:59:07,786 --> 00:59:09,073 Do you know clapping push-ups? 1645 00:59:09,073 --> 00:59:10,003 I do those too. 1646 00:59:10,003 --> 00:59:11,833 Miles, if you can do that, you have to! 1647 00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:13,541 No, I'm not going to do them. 1648 00:59:13,541 --> 00:59:14,428 I really-- I really-- 1649 00:59:14,428 --> 00:59:15,303 I beg thee! 1650 00:59:15,303 --> 00:59:17,693 For you, perhaps, young lady. 1651 00:59:17,693 --> 00:59:18,493 SIMON: Let's go, let's go, let's go. 1652 00:59:18,493 --> 00:59:19,293 Lucky day. 1653 00:59:19,293 --> 00:59:20,093 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1654 00:59:20,093 --> 00:59:20,893 Let's see. 1655 00:59:20,893 --> 00:59:22,906 Miles! 1656 00:59:22,906 --> 00:59:24,823 Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles. 1657 00:59:24,823 --> 00:59:25,990 The inspiration! 1658 00:59:29,153 --> 00:59:31,012 And-- 1659 00:59:31,012 --> 00:59:32,371 [CLAPS AND THUD] 1660 00:59:33,534 --> 00:59:34,951 RUDIE: He must be exhausted. 1661 00:59:34,951 --> 00:59:36,433 SAM: Oh my god. (ON) MARJORIE: Miles? 1662 00:59:36,433 --> 00:59:37,603 Miles? (ON) SIMON: Bro. 1663 00:59:37,603 --> 00:59:39,490 Miles? 1664 00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:42,047 Is he dead or is he just being silly? 1665 00:59:42,047 --> 00:59:42,964 Miles! 1666 00:59:46,238 --> 00:59:47,613 Sam, what did you do? 1667 00:59:47,613 --> 00:59:50,776 Miles, don't go. 1668 00:59:50,776 --> 00:59:52,540 Not yet. 1669 00:59:52,540 --> 00:59:56,793 Don't leave me alone with the staff. 1670 00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:59,293 [WHIMSICAL MUSIC] 1671 01:00:07,793 --> 01:00:11,210 [WARMUP VOCALIZATIONS] 1672 01:00:11,210 --> 01:00:12,293 Hello, hello. 1673 01:00:12,293 --> 01:00:13,973 Hello, Corden! 1674 01:00:13,973 --> 01:00:15,693 Corden. 1675 01:00:15,693 --> 01:00:17,283 Corden, Corden! 1676 01:00:17,283 --> 01:00:18,993 How you doing, man? 1677 01:00:18,993 --> 01:00:20,423 Amazing. (ON) MARJORIE: There we go. 1678 01:00:20,423 --> 01:00:22,493 I'm back. (ON) RUDIE: How was Channing? 1679 01:00:22,493 --> 01:00:23,293 Was he nice? 1680 01:00:23,293 --> 01:00:25,613 Did you make, like, $1,000,000? 1681 01:00:25,613 --> 01:00:27,533 Channing was-- was chill, yeah. 1682 01:00:27,533 --> 01:00:28,333 We had fun. 1683 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:32,033 And my starmeter raised 19%. 1684 01:00:32,033 --> 01:00:33,293 So that counts for something. 1685 01:00:33,293 --> 01:00:36,803 But it feels good to be back here with you guys. 1686 01:00:36,803 --> 01:00:40,433 You're like family to me in that I don't know you that well, 1687 01:00:40,433 --> 01:00:42,323 but I care about you. (ON) DAVINA: That's so sweet. 1688 01:00:42,323 --> 01:00:43,123 Yeah. 1689 01:00:43,123 --> 01:00:48,191 And before anybody asks, no, I haven't changed too much. 1690 01:00:48,191 --> 01:00:49,983 Well, your body hasn't changed. 1691 01:00:49,983 --> 01:00:51,128 That's for sure. 1692 01:00:51,128 --> 01:00:53,903 Yeah, your body hasn't changed either. 1693 01:00:53,903 --> 01:00:55,929 Please, how can you tell? 1694 01:00:55,929 --> 01:00:57,453 I'm swimming in this thing. 1695 01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:02,803 Miles is dead. 1696 01:01:02,803 --> 01:01:03,678 No shit. 1697 01:01:12,247 --> 01:01:14,707 [APPLAUSE] 1698 01:01:18,153 --> 01:01:21,433 Oh, looks like it might rain. 1699 01:01:21,433 --> 01:01:26,593 Rain might clear away the smoke from all those factory farms. 1700 01:01:26,593 --> 01:01:28,063 Oh, boy. 1701 01:01:28,063 --> 01:01:31,431 Sit down here to my morning paper. 1702 01:01:31,431 --> 01:01:32,895 [LAUGHS] 1703 01:01:43,029 --> 01:01:44,451 [THUNDER] 1704 01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:46,983 [RAIN FALLING] 1705 01:01:47,783 --> 01:01:50,743 Home sweet home. 1706 01:01:50,743 --> 01:01:54,823 This is our third home, due to factory fires. 1707 01:01:57,893 --> 01:02:00,923 So excuse me, mama. 1708 01:02:00,923 --> 01:02:04,913 I'm going to go show you where Buck is now. 1709 01:02:04,913 --> 01:02:09,323 Said I'm drunk on raspberry cordials. 1710 01:02:09,323 --> 01:02:12,708 Yes, I am. 1711 01:02:12,708 --> 01:02:14,683 [THUNDER] 1712 01:02:15,483 --> 01:02:20,168 Oh, my grandmamma, grandpappy, and the house. 1713 01:02:22,773 --> 01:02:25,543 Oh, the house before we lost it in the factory fire. 1714 01:02:28,309 --> 01:02:31,083 [THUNDER] 1715 01:02:31,083 --> 01:02:34,518 There it is, that familiar smell, 1716 01:02:34,518 --> 01:02:37,373 the factory fire. 1717 01:02:37,373 --> 01:02:40,613 We've had three this year already. 1718 01:02:40,613 --> 01:02:42,893 What's one more? 1719 01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:45,678 I've lost all my friends in those fires. 1720 01:02:48,533 --> 01:02:49,333 It's blazing! 1721 01:02:56,587 --> 01:02:59,067 [COUGHING] 1722 01:02:59,067 --> 01:03:01,547 [APPLAUSE] 1723 01:03:12,003 --> 01:03:13,383 Do they even like it? 1724 01:03:13,383 --> 01:03:15,103 It was so lukewarm. 1725 01:03:15,103 --> 01:03:15,903 God. 1726 01:03:15,903 --> 01:03:17,773 I'm used to standing fucking ovations. 1727 01:03:17,773 --> 01:03:19,363 Sam's extremely green. 1728 01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:20,968 Give her a break. She's in menopause. 1729 01:03:20,968 --> 01:03:22,093 She's an idiot. 1730 01:03:22,093 --> 01:03:24,051 Yeah, it kind of sucks being back. 1731 01:03:29,663 --> 01:03:32,443 We would love to dedicate tonight's performance, 1732 01:03:32,443 --> 01:03:35,263 y'all, to somebody who is dead. 1733 01:03:35,263 --> 01:03:36,223 [LAUGHS] 1734 01:03:36,223 --> 01:03:39,613 Our guy who is a part of the community theater and we 1735 01:03:39,613 --> 01:03:40,433 love him. 1736 01:03:40,433 --> 01:03:41,233 He's dope. 1737 01:03:41,233 --> 01:03:44,443 Miles, we love you, and we miss you. 1738 01:03:44,443 --> 01:03:45,373 Come back. 1739 01:03:45,373 --> 01:03:46,523 No, he can't. 1740 01:03:46,523 --> 01:03:47,323 [LAUGHS] 1741 01:03:47,323 --> 01:03:50,433 But, Thimberly, we are here with you, girl. 1742 01:03:50,433 --> 01:03:51,433 Oh, why! 1743 01:03:56,533 --> 01:03:58,363 No, I mean, we can always 1744 01:03:58,363 --> 01:04:00,406 change that blocking and stuff. (ON) MARJORIE: Oh my god. 1745 01:04:00,406 --> 01:04:01,363 Paparazzi. Is it Zac Efron? 1746 01:04:01,363 --> 01:04:02,488 RUDIE: Wait a second. 1747 01:04:02,488 --> 01:04:03,693 Is this for me? 1748 01:04:03,693 --> 01:04:04,603 Oh my God. 1749 01:04:04,603 --> 01:04:05,923 Oh my God, congrats. 1750 01:04:05,923 --> 01:04:06,858 Great preview. 1751 01:04:06,858 --> 01:04:08,233 It's a start, you know. 1752 01:04:08,233 --> 01:04:09,313 What's this? 1753 01:04:09,313 --> 01:04:11,896 They're just doing a story on my little theater. 1754 01:04:11,896 --> 01:04:13,063 Congratulations. 1755 01:04:13,063 --> 01:04:14,353 I'm Rudie. 1756 01:04:14,353 --> 01:04:15,491 Yeah, we've met. 1757 01:04:15,491 --> 01:04:16,783 She's here every day. 1758 01:04:16,783 --> 01:04:19,243 You know, your hair looks so rad, 1759 01:04:19,243 --> 01:04:21,313 all piled up like a sea goddess. 1760 01:04:21,313 --> 01:04:22,213 Can I touch it? 1761 01:04:22,213 --> 01:04:24,343 Come on, I think we should have stopped at rad. 1762 01:04:24,343 --> 01:04:25,712 No one stopped her? No one stopped her? 1763 01:04:25,712 --> 01:04:26,514 No, we should get out of here. 1764 01:04:26,514 --> 01:04:28,303 We're mucking up your whole setup here. 1765 01:04:28,303 --> 01:04:30,463 Hey, great work on everything, you guys. 1766 01:04:30,463 --> 01:04:31,871 You really nailed it today. 1767 01:04:31,871 --> 01:04:33,163 Big things for you. 1768 01:04:33,163 --> 01:04:34,063 Wow. 1769 01:04:34,063 --> 01:04:34,863 Thank you, Rudie. 1770 01:04:35,743 --> 01:04:37,483 SAM: Good job, Rudie. 1771 01:04:37,483 --> 01:04:39,113 R-U-D-I-E. 1772 01:04:39,113 --> 01:04:42,093 I really want you to come see my show, Oil & Rancor. 1773 01:04:42,093 --> 01:04:43,093 It's at the Yellow Goat. 1774 01:04:43,093 --> 01:04:44,923 I would be absolutely delighted to. 1775 01:04:44,923 --> 01:04:46,631 OK, great. I'll put you on the list. 1776 01:04:46,631 --> 01:04:48,173 No, I want to buy a ticket. 1777 01:04:48,173 --> 01:04:49,063 I want to support. 1778 01:04:49,063 --> 01:04:51,193 It's sold out. 1779 01:04:51,193 --> 01:04:52,973 I'll-- I'll throw your name in the list. 1780 01:04:52,973 --> 01:04:53,773 Sold out? 1781 01:04:53,773 --> 01:04:54,748 That's so great. 1782 01:05:05,618 --> 01:05:07,243 I just can't even freaking 1783 01:05:07,243 --> 01:05:09,223 believe that ghosts are real. 1784 01:05:09,223 --> 01:05:11,583 But they sure are. 1785 01:05:11,583 --> 01:05:13,105 Because I'm one. 1786 01:05:13,105 --> 01:05:14,313 We have a saying. 1787 01:05:14,313 --> 01:05:17,583 If there's a factory fire, it's probably Tuesday. 1788 01:05:21,255 --> 01:05:26,205 I killed daddy! 1789 01:05:26,205 --> 01:05:28,700 [APPLAUSE] 1790 01:05:35,184 --> 01:05:36,684 Follow me on Instagram. 1791 01:05:40,203 --> 01:05:41,343 Yes? 1792 01:05:41,343 --> 01:05:42,843 Are you from Down South? 1793 01:05:42,843 --> 01:05:44,013 I love grits. 1794 01:05:44,013 --> 01:05:44,853 Does that count? 1795 01:05:48,333 --> 01:05:49,413 Yes? 1796 01:05:49,413 --> 01:05:51,033 I have a question for you. 1797 01:05:51,033 --> 01:05:53,373 It seemed water wastey. 1798 01:05:53,373 --> 01:05:54,621 Are we not in a drought? 1799 01:05:54,621 --> 01:05:56,913 [SIGHS] Did you get the free tickets OK, Meg? 1800 01:05:56,913 --> 01:05:57,761 Yeah. (ON) SAM: All the comps? 1801 01:05:57,761 --> 01:05:58,563 Yeah? Good. 1802 01:05:58,563 --> 01:05:59,363 All right. 1803 01:05:59,363 --> 01:06:01,783 Any other questions from anyone here tonight? 1804 01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:03,476 Anyone else? 1805 01:06:03,476 --> 01:06:04,278 CLARA: Oh, that guy has a question. 1806 01:06:05,078 --> 01:06:05,913 SIMON: Mm-mm. 1807 01:06:05,913 --> 01:06:07,213 That's all the time we have. 1808 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:08,796 Thank you for supporting live theater. 1809 01:06:08,796 --> 01:06:11,279 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1810 01:06:11,279 --> 01:06:13,744 [APPLAUSE] 1811 01:06:24,203 --> 01:06:25,393 This is such a relief. 1812 01:06:25,393 --> 01:06:26,788 I never get a female driver. 1813 01:06:29,913 --> 01:06:31,443 Interesting. 1814 01:06:31,443 --> 01:06:32,973 What's interesting? 1815 01:06:32,973 --> 01:06:37,563 Seems it would go against the idea of feminism 1816 01:06:37,563 --> 01:06:42,183 to presuppose, huh, we have the same values because 1817 01:06:42,183 --> 01:06:45,483 of our exterior appearance or presumed plumbing, 1818 01:06:45,483 --> 01:06:48,930 even to assume, young lady, that I'm not dangerous. 1819 01:06:48,930 --> 01:06:50,388 Yeah, right here is good. 1820 01:06:51,453 --> 01:06:53,245 Where? 1821 01:06:53,245 --> 01:06:54,703 Um, just really anywhere. 1822 01:06:54,703 --> 01:06:56,773 Not yet. 1823 01:06:56,773 --> 01:06:57,573 OK, look. 1824 01:06:57,573 --> 01:06:58,413 Right here. 1825 01:06:58,413 --> 01:06:59,233 What the? 1826 01:06:59,233 --> 01:07:00,543 Oh my-- (OFF) DRIVER: That's right. 1827 01:07:00,543 --> 01:07:02,313 Cash, stolen guns. 1828 01:07:02,313 --> 01:07:03,393 Stolen guns. 1829 01:07:06,313 --> 01:07:08,043 Holy shit. 1830 01:07:08,043 --> 01:07:09,061 I'm terrified. 1831 01:07:09,061 --> 01:07:10,353 Of course you are. 1832 01:07:10,353 --> 01:07:11,991 I need to get out of this car right now. 1833 01:07:11,991 --> 01:07:12,793 You don't. 1834 01:07:12,793 --> 01:07:13,593 OK. 1835 01:07:13,593 --> 01:07:15,163 I'm sorry that I felt safe. 1836 01:07:15,163 --> 01:07:16,833 I certainly take it back. 1837 01:07:16,833 --> 01:07:17,853 Where are we going? 1838 01:07:17,853 --> 01:07:19,603 I've got a couple of errands. 1839 01:07:22,323 --> 01:07:24,921 Hey, just wanted to take a quick picture, 1840 01:07:24,921 --> 01:07:25,932 just to prove that I dropped you off. 1841 01:07:25,932 --> 01:07:26,733 What? 1842 01:07:27,534 --> 01:07:28,503 DRIVER: Got it. (ON) SAM: You're psychotic. 1843 01:07:28,503 --> 01:07:29,703 There are privacy laws. 1844 01:07:29,703 --> 01:07:31,693 Bye! 1845 01:07:31,693 --> 01:07:32,493 Thank you. 1846 01:07:35,325 --> 01:07:36,283 GREGGY: Hey, Sam. 1847 01:07:36,283 --> 01:07:37,573 It's Greggy. 1848 01:07:37,573 --> 01:07:40,343 Listen, I heard you didn't get any standing O's in previews? 1849 01:07:40,343 --> 01:07:41,143 Yikes. 1850 01:07:41,143 --> 01:07:42,883 Anyway, I told you, meet me. 1851 01:07:42,883 --> 01:07:44,143 Chess Cafe, OK? 1852 01:07:44,143 --> 01:07:46,063 I'm here most afternoons, hanging out with 1853 01:07:46,063 --> 01:07:47,533 my new community of cool buds. 1854 01:08:25,635 --> 01:08:28,813 It was a crisp summer day. 1855 01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:30,673 I was eating a plum. 1856 01:08:30,673 --> 01:08:34,612 Plums are sweet and nectary. 1857 01:08:34,612 --> 01:08:38,253 Where can you find a plum tree in the city? 1858 01:08:38,253 --> 01:08:41,293 I've never seen one. 1859 01:08:41,293 --> 01:08:44,473 Yet in my childhood, on a crisp summer day, 1860 01:08:44,473 --> 01:08:48,553 I did pluck the plums and eat them slowly. 1861 01:08:48,553 --> 01:08:50,667 Plum! 1862 01:08:54,173 --> 01:08:58,463 The year is 8005. 1863 01:08:58,463 --> 01:09:01,822 A great plague is upon us. 1864 01:09:01,822 --> 01:09:03,942 I feel lost. 1865 01:09:03,942 --> 01:09:06,283 I am lost. 1866 01:09:06,283 --> 01:09:08,431 But aren't you? 1867 01:09:08,431 --> 01:09:09,363 Aren't we all? 1868 01:09:12,633 --> 01:09:14,513 Who could love me? 1869 01:09:14,513 --> 01:09:16,813 Who? 1870 01:09:16,813 --> 01:09:19,288 I've tried my whole life! 1871 01:09:22,178 --> 01:09:24,463 [DISCORDANT PLAYING] 1872 01:09:25,263 --> 01:09:29,419 That's called America as we know it. 1873 01:09:29,419 --> 01:09:33,171 [SOBBING] Help! 1874 01:09:33,171 --> 01:09:36,661 Why aren't you helping me? 1875 01:09:36,661 --> 01:09:40,070 Don't look. 1876 01:09:40,070 --> 01:09:41,218 Help! 1877 01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,018 Oh! 1878 01:09:47,075 --> 01:09:51,192 Cords, so many cords! 1879 01:09:51,192 --> 01:09:53,822 My neck. 1880 01:09:53,822 --> 01:09:59,983 my spine, my ass, surrounded by cords! 1881 01:09:59,983 --> 01:10:03,223 I can't escape the cords! 1882 01:10:03,223 --> 01:10:06,168 Everywhere I go-- cords. 1883 01:10:19,371 --> 01:10:22,359 [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING] 1884 01:10:35,805 --> 01:10:39,853 Y'all, sit down, sit down. 1885 01:10:39,853 --> 01:10:44,113 I wrote this play for my soul, for your soul, 1886 01:10:44,113 --> 01:10:47,263 for your soul, your soul, for all of our souls. 1887 01:10:47,263 --> 01:10:48,853 Theater is connection. 1888 01:10:48,853 --> 01:10:50,383 Art is connection. 1889 01:10:50,383 --> 01:10:54,733 And I believe that I was put on this earth to connect. 1890 01:10:54,733 --> 01:10:58,903 Every single one of y'all in this audience is tribe. 1891 01:10:58,903 --> 01:11:01,543 And the vibe is always for the tribe. 1892 01:11:01,543 --> 01:11:03,013 You know what I'm saying? 1893 01:11:03,013 --> 01:11:07,123 And on that note, white theater with a capital W, 1894 01:11:07,123 --> 01:11:09,403 your day has come and gone. 1895 01:11:09,403 --> 01:11:10,203 Sorry. 1896 01:11:17,336 --> 01:11:18,737 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1897 01:11:20,143 --> 01:11:21,613 Star! 1898 01:11:21,613 --> 01:11:23,233 A plum is juicy. 1899 01:11:23,233 --> 01:11:24,943 Plum! 1900 01:11:24,943 --> 01:11:25,783 Oh my God. 1901 01:11:25,783 --> 01:11:27,178 You're a genius! 1902 01:11:27,178 --> 01:11:28,053 Thank you. 1903 01:11:28,053 --> 01:11:29,886 Oh, I should have got you flowers. 1904 01:11:29,886 --> 01:11:30,880 You crushed it. 1905 01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:31,963 Oh, no worries. 1906 01:11:31,963 --> 01:11:33,903 I'm actually on my way out the door. 1907 01:11:33,903 --> 01:11:35,503 Me and the cast are going to go party. 1908 01:11:35,503 --> 01:11:36,545 Oh, that's fun. 1909 01:11:39,703 --> 01:11:42,103 What do you put in the water here, and can you bottle it? 1910 01:11:42,103 --> 01:11:44,508 I'll take 245 bottles, please. 1911 01:11:44,508 --> 01:11:45,883 That's the capacity of the Regis. 1912 01:11:45,883 --> 01:11:47,113 Oh, stop it. 1913 01:11:47,113 --> 01:11:49,013 Your show is so good. 1914 01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:51,943 I've never gotten a standing O like that before. 1915 01:11:51,943 --> 01:11:53,033 That was so magical. 1916 01:11:53,033 --> 01:11:55,033 Oh, well, you know, you can't measure 1917 01:11:55,033 --> 01:11:56,413 yourself on that type of crap. 1918 01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:58,853 I can, and I do. 1919 01:11:58,853 --> 01:11:59,653 Sorry. 1920 01:11:59,653 --> 01:12:00,453 It's your night. 1921 01:12:00,453 --> 01:12:01,596 It's not about all this. 1922 01:12:01,596 --> 01:12:02,679 It is my night. 1923 01:12:02,679 --> 01:12:04,433 It was so amazing. 1924 01:12:04,433 --> 01:12:06,053 I literally feel like a queen. 1925 01:12:06,053 --> 01:12:08,843 Everyone was clapping so much-- clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 1926 01:12:08,843 --> 01:12:10,403 Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. It was so loud. 1927 01:12:10,403 --> 01:12:12,773 It's like my ears are still ringing from the clap, 1928 01:12:12,773 --> 01:12:14,093 clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 1929 01:12:14,093 --> 01:12:15,623 I mean, you felt it. 1930 01:12:15,623 --> 01:12:17,513 Yes, I was-- it was loud. 1931 01:12:17,513 --> 01:12:18,513 It was crazy. 1932 01:12:18,513 --> 01:12:19,930 It's incredible that you 1933 01:12:19,930 --> 01:12:22,013 have your own crowd that came out and just 1934 01:12:22,013 --> 01:12:23,948 supports you like that. 1935 01:12:23,948 --> 01:12:25,823 The Regis has a built-in audience. 1936 01:12:25,823 --> 01:12:27,743 I feel like you got your own crowd too. 1937 01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:29,573 I know, but white theater's over 1938 01:12:29,573 --> 01:12:31,553 so I guess I need a new job. 1939 01:12:31,553 --> 01:12:32,843 Oh. 1940 01:12:32,843 --> 01:12:34,193 You took that personal? 1941 01:12:34,193 --> 01:12:35,723 No, I'm kidding with you. 1942 01:12:35,723 --> 01:12:38,903 I said white theater with a capital W. Yeah, I 1943 01:12:38,903 --> 01:12:41,003 felt comfortable enough in the moment 1944 01:12:41,003 --> 01:12:42,953 to express the sentiment that the theater 1945 01:12:42,953 --> 01:12:44,573 establishment is musty. 1946 01:12:44,573 --> 01:12:45,515 I didn't say you. 1947 01:12:45,515 --> 01:12:47,723 I don't even know how we got on this topic. 1948 01:12:47,723 --> 01:12:51,723 You were mad I got a standing O. Remember that? 1949 01:12:51,723 --> 01:12:54,293 Yeah, because if you never get one, that's on you, love. 1950 01:12:54,293 --> 01:12:55,253 Whoa. Come on. 1951 01:12:55,253 --> 01:12:56,433 I'm not trying to make this about me. 1952 01:12:56,433 --> 01:12:58,016 I'm just in this weird situation where 1953 01:12:58,016 --> 01:12:59,903 everyone's comparing me to this man 1954 01:12:59,903 --> 01:13:01,953 who has 20 years of experience. 1955 01:13:01,953 --> 01:13:03,173 And it's not fair, like. 1956 01:13:03,173 --> 01:13:04,381 OK, you know what? 1957 01:13:04,381 --> 01:13:07,163 I don't feel supported in this visit. 1958 01:13:07,163 --> 01:13:09,593 Yeah, this-- this is draining. 1959 01:13:09,593 --> 01:13:10,676 You have some blind spots. 1960 01:13:10,676 --> 01:13:11,476 Me? 1961 01:13:11,476 --> 01:13:12,683 Yeah. 1962 01:13:12,683 --> 01:13:14,003 Big time. 1963 01:13:14,003 --> 01:13:15,851 If you feel anything less than grateful 1964 01:13:15,851 --> 01:13:17,393 for an opportunity that was literally 1965 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:20,963 plopped into your lap, you got to reconsider. 1966 01:13:20,963 --> 01:13:22,713 I'm not the person to talk to about this. 1967 01:13:22,713 --> 01:13:23,513 What? 1968 01:13:23,513 --> 01:13:24,623 I mean, come on. 1969 01:13:24,623 --> 01:13:26,783 I-- what-- what can I do to be better, then? 1970 01:13:26,783 --> 01:13:29,003 It actually reminds me of this joke. 1971 01:13:29,003 --> 01:13:31,553 What's the difference between a thoughtful white person 1972 01:13:31,553 --> 01:13:32,913 and a thoughtless white person? 1973 01:13:32,913 --> 01:13:33,713 What? 1974 01:13:33,713 --> 01:13:35,571 Nothing. 1975 01:13:35,571 --> 01:13:37,613 I should have learned my lesson with Lena Dunham, 1976 01:13:37,613 --> 01:13:40,217 but I simply love Girls. 1977 01:13:44,013 --> 01:13:46,963 For what it's worth, I didn't love her play. 1978 01:13:46,963 --> 01:13:49,563 But I thought it was just so good. 1979 01:13:49,563 --> 01:13:50,885 Of course you did. 1980 01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:52,961 [SCOFFS] 1981 01:13:52,961 --> 01:13:54,503 Thank you for understanding 1982 01:13:54,503 --> 01:13:56,461 that I'm going to need you to pay up front now. 1983 01:13:56,461 --> 01:13:57,563 Yeah. 1984 01:13:57,563 --> 01:14:00,653 So I saw Star's play and just-- boom, 1985 01:14:00,653 --> 01:14:02,603 standing ovation right away. 1986 01:14:02,603 --> 01:14:04,643 I'm like, what am I doing? 1987 01:14:04,643 --> 01:14:06,463 I feel like I have nothing to say. 1988 01:14:06,463 --> 01:14:08,088 You're having a breakthrough. 1989 01:14:08,088 --> 01:14:09,121 I am? 1990 01:14:09,121 --> 01:14:10,663 You don't have much to say. 1991 01:14:10,663 --> 01:14:12,038 Well, let me say this-- 1992 01:14:12,038 --> 01:14:14,640 give me all my money back, addict! 1993 01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:15,723 I don't have it. 1994 01:14:15,723 --> 01:14:16,523 What? 1995 01:14:16,523 --> 01:14:17,849 I spent it. 1996 01:14:17,849 --> 01:14:19,563 Sam, I have a gambling addiction. 1997 01:14:19,563 --> 01:14:20,523 Good god. 1998 01:14:20,523 --> 01:14:22,428 I never I was perfect! 1999 01:14:22,428 --> 01:14:24,543 I-- I do have something to say. 2000 01:14:24,543 --> 01:14:25,413 Ow. 2001 01:14:25,413 --> 01:14:27,033 You hurt my hand! 2002 01:14:27,033 --> 01:14:27,833 OK. 2003 01:14:27,833 --> 01:14:29,333 OK, you need to pay for this. 2004 01:14:29,333 --> 01:14:30,375 Oh my goodness. 2005 01:14:30,375 --> 01:14:32,491 I fucking paid at the beginning. 2006 01:14:32,491 --> 01:14:33,983 That is my bad. You did. 2007 01:14:33,983 --> 01:14:34,943 I apologize. 2008 01:14:34,943 --> 01:14:36,563 Please excuse me. 2009 01:14:36,563 --> 01:14:39,503 I have to step away from this, for I 2010 01:14:39,503 --> 01:14:42,533 must attend opening night of my directorial debut 2011 01:14:42,533 --> 01:14:43,408 at the Regis Theater. 2012 01:14:43,408 --> 01:14:45,408 Sounds like you don't need me anymore. 2013 01:14:45,408 --> 01:14:46,943 I guess I'll just jump off a bridge. 2014 01:14:46,943 --> 01:14:48,949 Meg! 2015 01:14:48,949 --> 01:14:51,414 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2016 01:15:15,361 --> 01:15:19,883 No, daddy. No. 2017 01:15:19,883 --> 01:15:20,963 Hey, guys. 2018 01:15:20,963 --> 01:15:24,113 Slap looks fantastic. 2019 01:15:24,113 --> 01:15:27,481 Corden, it's been so nice having you back at the Regis. 2020 01:15:27,481 --> 01:15:30,023 Oh, I told you I'd be back as long as you let me 2021 01:15:30,023 --> 01:15:31,315 miss almost all the rehearsals. 2022 01:15:31,315 --> 01:15:33,173 And you're a man of your word. 2023 01:15:33,173 --> 01:15:34,493 Now, mama. (ON) MARJORIE: Yeah. 2024 01:15:34,493 --> 01:15:35,293 Papa. 2025 01:15:35,293 --> 01:15:40,793 My vet and my pro, I've got a new monologue for each of you. 2026 01:15:40,793 --> 01:15:42,338 On opening night? 2027 01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:51,643 Enjoy the show. 2028 01:16:00,070 --> 01:16:01,867 Let's do this warm-up for Miles. 2029 01:16:01,867 --> 01:16:02,669 Hell yeah. 2030 01:16:02,669 --> 01:16:03,841 Love you, Miles. 2031 01:16:03,841 --> 01:16:05,209 I feel you here. 2032 01:16:05,209 --> 01:16:07,025 What's coming in? 2033 01:16:07,025 --> 01:16:08,248 Rain's coming in. 2034 01:16:36,503 --> 01:16:37,303 Hmm. 2035 01:16:37,303 --> 01:16:42,973 This world, I see it with new eyes now-- 2036 01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:48,163 white privilege, infrastructure designed 2037 01:16:48,163 --> 01:16:53,353 to support us while cutting the other out 2038 01:16:53,353 --> 01:16:57,043 of the American dream. 2039 01:16:57,043 --> 01:17:00,543 Generational wealth! 2040 01:17:00,543 --> 01:17:08,713 And don't you even get me started on so-called illegals. 2041 01:17:08,713 --> 01:17:09,513 Hmph. 2042 01:17:09,513 --> 01:17:15,148 You know who the biggest illegal of all was, don't you? 2043 01:17:15,148 --> 01:17:21,303 why, Mr. Christopher Columbus. 2044 01:17:21,303 --> 01:17:27,303 Capitalism chews up and spits out the have-nots. 2045 01:17:27,303 --> 01:17:28,563 And for what? 2046 01:17:28,563 --> 01:17:30,873 The almighty dollar. 2047 01:17:30,873 --> 01:17:33,333 Yeah, just look at our-- 2048 01:17:33,333 --> 01:17:39,063 our public school systems and the prison industrial complex. 2049 01:17:39,063 --> 01:17:41,923 Yeah, that's a great example. 2050 01:17:41,923 --> 01:17:44,283 And it's-- it's all by design. 2051 01:17:44,283 --> 01:17:47,488 So think about that. 2052 01:17:53,761 --> 01:17:55,243 [COUGHING] 2053 01:17:56,725 --> 01:17:58,207 [THUNDER] 2054 01:17:58,207 --> 01:18:01,183 I love advertising. 2055 01:18:01,183 --> 01:18:06,693 It's about balance, something I never had in this house. 2056 01:18:06,693 --> 01:18:09,298 Because you tore through this family like a factory fire, 2057 01:18:09,298 --> 01:18:10,098 Mama. 2058 01:18:13,643 --> 01:18:19,223 I may be a ghost, but I'm still here! 2059 01:18:19,223 --> 01:18:25,763 Oh, the wrath of those I bore and those I raised 2060 01:18:25,763 --> 01:18:32,783 is like a weight tied to my torso, dragging me 2061 01:18:32,783 --> 01:18:41,389 and all my good intentions downward toward oblivion. 2062 01:18:41,389 --> 01:18:42,775 [THUNDER] 2063 01:18:44,623 --> 01:18:47,495 Rain's coming in. 2064 01:18:47,495 --> 01:18:48,833 [THUNDER] 2065 01:18:50,623 --> 01:18:54,553 Shame, shame on your fake rain! 2066 01:18:54,553 --> 01:18:58,543 Shame, shame on your fake rain! 2067 01:18:58,543 --> 01:19:00,403 We are in a water crisis. 2068 01:19:05,613 --> 01:19:07,899 Oh, dinner's ready. 2069 01:19:07,899 --> 01:19:10,043 Mama, we ought to invite Buck. 2070 01:19:10,043 --> 01:19:11,963 Lillie Mae's sweet on him. 2071 01:19:11,963 --> 01:19:16,186 Oh, my husband Buck, the-- the father 2072 01:19:16,186 --> 01:19:18,013 of my unborn child! 2073 01:19:18,013 --> 01:19:21,515 And, yes, I am pregnant! 2074 01:19:21,515 --> 01:19:23,479 Buck! 2075 01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:24,952 [THUNDER] 2076 01:19:26,433 --> 01:19:29,133 Shame, shame, shame, shame. 2077 01:19:29,958 --> 01:19:36,003 Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, 2078 01:19:36,003 --> 01:19:42,973 shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, 2079 01:19:42,973 --> 01:19:46,853 shame, shame, shame, shame! 2080 01:19:46,853 --> 01:19:49,763 [APPLAUSE] 2081 01:19:53,613 --> 01:19:54,613 Yeah, yeah. 2082 01:19:54,613 --> 01:19:56,110 Fuck you! 2083 01:19:56,110 --> 01:19:58,106 [APPLAUSE] 2084 01:19:58,106 --> 01:20:03,595 Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, 2085 01:20:03,595 --> 01:20:08,284 shame, shame, shame, shame. 2086 01:20:08,284 --> 01:20:09,084 Oh! 2087 01:20:13,903 --> 01:20:16,403 Ow! 2088 01:20:16,403 --> 01:20:19,313 How do you have so much paint in this theater? 2089 01:20:19,313 --> 01:20:20,603 I don't get it. 2090 01:20:20,603 --> 01:20:22,521 But I want to thank our season ticket holders 2091 01:20:22,521 --> 01:20:23,813 because you make this possible. 2092 01:20:23,813 --> 01:20:25,896 When it's good, you make that possible. 2093 01:20:25,896 --> 01:20:27,563 I thank you from the bottom of my heart, 2094 01:20:27,563 --> 01:20:30,348 and I want you to know your hard-earned cash 2095 01:20:30,348 --> 01:20:31,223 isn't going to waste. 2096 01:20:31,223 --> 01:20:34,943 The Q&A is still on! 2097 01:20:34,943 --> 01:20:38,393 It was a colorful evening, obviously. 2098 01:20:38,393 --> 01:20:40,403 But, yeah, does anyone have a question 2099 01:20:40,403 --> 01:20:42,503 for any of these brilliant souls up here? 2100 01:20:42,503 --> 01:20:44,193 Let's focus on the work. 2101 01:20:44,193 --> 01:20:45,743 Let's focus on the work, huh? 2102 01:20:45,743 --> 01:20:48,413 Sam, you've admitted yourself publicly 2103 01:20:48,413 --> 01:20:49,623 that you're not Southern. 2104 01:20:49,623 --> 01:20:50,423 OK. 2105 01:20:50,423 --> 01:20:53,153 So at a time when authenticity reigns supreme, 2106 01:20:53,153 --> 01:20:55,433 you are inauthentic. 2107 01:20:55,433 --> 01:20:56,303 Why? 2108 01:20:56,303 --> 01:20:57,583 What can she do, right? 2109 01:20:57,583 --> 01:20:59,458 She's supposed to write a play about a writer 2110 01:20:59,458 --> 01:21:00,563 who becomes a director? 2111 01:21:00,563 --> 01:21:01,793 And then directs that? 2112 01:21:01,793 --> 01:21:02,593 Man. 2113 01:21:02,593 --> 01:21:04,223 I think that'd be a hall of mirrors. 2114 01:21:04,223 --> 01:21:06,173 [LAUGHTER] 2115 01:21:06,173 --> 01:21:07,917 Who wrote Peter Pan, a pirate? 2116 01:21:07,917 --> 01:21:08,719 Think about it. 2117 01:21:08,719 --> 01:21:10,818 Martin McDonagh wrote a whole movie about Missouri 2118 01:21:10,818 --> 01:21:11,693 from across the pond. 2119 01:21:11,693 --> 01:21:15,583 Or the dream-- he wrote Single Ladies, and he's a man! 2120 01:21:15,583 --> 01:21:18,083 All right, they've been working really hard to put 2121 01:21:18,083 --> 01:21:19,291 on a great show for you guys. 2122 01:21:19,291 --> 01:21:20,363 They really have, OK? 2123 01:21:20,363 --> 01:21:22,883 So they would love a question, in spite 2124 01:21:22,883 --> 01:21:26,033 of all the weird setbacks with environmentalists apparently 2125 01:21:26,033 --> 01:21:28,403 just kind of pegging me and Clara, which 2126 01:21:28,403 --> 01:21:30,053 is sort of sexist in a way. 2127 01:21:30,053 --> 01:21:31,013 Weird. 2128 01:21:31,013 --> 01:21:32,223 Sexist environmentalists. 2129 01:21:32,223 --> 01:21:33,523 OK. (ON) SIMON: What's up, man? 2130 01:21:33,523 --> 01:21:34,398 Hello, sir. 2131 01:21:34,398 --> 01:21:35,233 Here. 2132 01:21:35,233 --> 01:21:36,213 Oh, oh. 2133 01:21:36,213 --> 01:21:38,063 I'm not sexist. 2134 01:21:38,063 --> 01:21:39,143 Oh. 2135 01:21:39,143 --> 01:21:41,648 Thanks, Sam. 2136 01:21:41,648 --> 01:21:42,476 Oh, wait. 2137 01:21:42,476 --> 01:21:43,643 I really do have a question. 2138 01:21:43,643 --> 01:21:45,293 Where is this play set? 2139 01:21:45,293 --> 01:21:46,463 The Deep South. 2140 01:21:46,463 --> 01:21:48,143 No, you cannot ask a question. 2141 01:21:48,143 --> 01:21:49,613 Yeah, you don't get a question, honeybun! 2142 01:21:49,613 --> 01:21:51,713 Well, it's clearly a fictional location 2143 01:21:51,713 --> 01:21:54,803 with conflicting cultural and geographical references 2144 01:21:54,803 --> 01:21:56,513 and accents and costumes. 2145 01:21:56,513 --> 01:21:58,103 Ugh, you coastal elites, 2146 01:21:58,103 --> 01:22:01,013 you love our cracker barrels and our Southern plays 2147 01:22:01,013 --> 01:22:03,053 and our need for jet skis and ferrets, 2148 01:22:03,053 --> 01:22:05,003 but you sneer at rural values when 2149 01:22:05,003 --> 01:22:06,313 you get in the voting booth. 2150 01:22:06,313 --> 01:22:08,573 OK, I'd rather not enter a full 2151 01:22:08,573 --> 01:22:10,253 political discussion right now. 2152 01:22:10,253 --> 01:22:11,727 Oh, watch whiteness work. 2153 01:22:11,727 --> 01:22:12,529 What does that mean? 2154 01:22:12,529 --> 01:22:14,993 Why don't you treat water as a precious resource? 2155 01:22:14,993 --> 01:22:16,743 My God, look at all the water 2156 01:22:16,743 --> 01:22:18,813 coming up and down my tits! 2157 01:22:18,813 --> 01:22:21,563 Oh, go, go, go, go, go. 2158 01:22:21,563 --> 01:22:23,763 Why isn't grief linear? 2159 01:22:23,763 --> 01:22:27,503 Why does it spin relentlessly around like a tornado? 2160 01:22:27,503 --> 01:22:29,123 Why are you a Jew? 2161 01:22:29,123 --> 01:22:30,754 Why did you sleep with me? 2162 01:22:30,754 --> 01:22:31,556 Really? 2163 01:22:31,556 --> 01:22:32,718 I'm your subordinate 2164 01:22:32,718 --> 01:22:33,803 in a professional setting. 2165 01:22:33,803 --> 01:22:34,970 Well, I was drunk! 2166 01:22:34,970 --> 01:22:36,203 You know I was drunk. 2167 01:22:36,203 --> 01:22:37,003 That's why. 2168 01:22:37,003 --> 01:22:39,353 That's why I would sleep with you, because I was drunk. 2169 01:22:39,353 --> 01:22:40,933 Booze hound! 2170 01:22:40,933 --> 01:22:42,413 CLARA: Sam, not an usher. 2171 01:22:42,413 --> 01:22:43,703 Oh, OK, Greggy. 2172 01:22:43,703 --> 01:22:44,503 She fucked Greggy. 2173 01:22:44,503 --> 01:22:45,303 Yeah. 2174 01:22:45,303 --> 01:22:46,253 Yeah, she did. 2175 01:22:46,253 --> 01:22:47,579 To bring that here. 2176 01:22:47,579 --> 01:22:48,537 Apologize! 2177 01:22:48,537 --> 01:22:49,523 Apologize. 2178 01:22:49,523 --> 01:22:52,403 Apologize, apologize, apologize. 2179 01:22:52,403 --> 01:22:53,533 Oh, oh! 2180 01:22:53,533 --> 01:22:55,153 Apologize, apologize! 2181 01:22:55,153 --> 01:22:57,013 Don't listen to them, Sam! 2182 01:22:57,013 --> 01:22:59,013 All right, Greggy, that's not helping. 2183 01:22:59,013 --> 01:22:59,813 All right? 2184 01:22:59,813 --> 01:23:01,200 That's not helping. 2185 01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:03,585 You're not even supposed to be in this building. 2186 01:23:03,585 --> 01:23:08,832 Apologize, apologize, apologize! 2187 01:23:08,832 --> 01:23:11,631 For what? 2188 01:23:11,631 --> 01:23:14,503 What do you want me to apologize for? 2189 01:23:14,503 --> 01:23:18,753 You ever think about that? 2190 01:23:23,013 --> 01:23:24,223 You ever think about that? 2191 01:23:28,833 --> 01:23:30,993 What do you want me to apologize for? 2192 01:23:30,993 --> 01:23:33,903 I can't even hear each thing! 2193 01:23:33,903 --> 01:23:37,413 You want me to apologize because I wasn't thinking about water? 2194 01:23:37,413 --> 01:23:39,903 Because I fucked some weird psycho? 2195 01:23:39,903 --> 01:23:40,983 Because I'm not Southern? 2196 01:23:40,983 --> 01:23:42,273 Sorry. Sorry. 2197 01:23:42,273 --> 01:23:43,123 I'm a Jew. 2198 01:23:43,123 --> 01:23:43,923 Help. 2199 01:23:43,923 --> 01:23:45,633 I'm drowning in white woman tears. 2200 01:23:45,633 --> 01:23:47,853 Jews aren't white. (ON) WOMAN: They are to me. 2201 01:23:47,853 --> 01:23:49,593 You think I don't know I suck? 2202 01:23:49,593 --> 01:23:50,493 I suck. 2203 01:23:50,493 --> 01:23:51,903 I know that. 2204 01:23:51,903 --> 01:23:54,201 And this is a group of basic amateurs. 2205 01:23:55,003 --> 01:23:55,803 Basic? 2206 01:23:55,803 --> 01:23:57,873 Yeah, who are probably going to-- let's be frank. 2207 01:23:57,873 --> 01:23:59,872 They're going to live and die on this shitty stage. 2208 01:23:59,872 --> 01:24:00,674 Hey! 2209 01:24:00,674 --> 01:24:01,998 Yeah, I don't know-- 2210 01:24:01,998 --> 01:24:03,003 But I tried. 2211 01:24:03,003 --> 01:24:05,613 I tried, and no one's happy. 2212 01:24:05,613 --> 01:24:07,863 I can barely pay my rent. 2213 01:24:07,863 --> 01:24:10,383 I don't know whose dream this is, but it's not mine. 2214 01:24:10,383 --> 01:24:11,823 I just realized that right now. 2215 01:24:11,823 --> 01:24:13,053 It's not mine. 2216 01:24:13,053 --> 01:24:15,743 Caring is one piece of the puzzle. 2217 01:24:15,743 --> 01:24:17,393 Talent is another. 2218 01:24:17,393 --> 01:24:19,464 Then you write a fucking play, Rudie! 2219 01:24:19,464 --> 01:24:20,264 OK. 2220 01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:21,064 That's it. 2221 01:24:21,064 --> 01:24:23,633 Yeah, you can write it with this stupid audience! 2222 01:24:23,633 --> 01:24:25,716 Sheldon, are you going to do anything? 2223 01:24:25,716 --> 01:24:27,213 Shut up, Clara! 2224 01:24:27,213 --> 01:24:29,333 There's no one waiting in the wings. 2225 01:24:29,333 --> 01:24:32,793 There's no man who's going to come out and fucking save you. 2226 01:24:32,793 --> 01:24:33,593 Do you get it? 2227 01:24:33,593 --> 01:24:35,067 You're being scary girl right now. 2228 01:24:35,067 --> 01:24:35,869 I know. I'm going to shut down. 2229 01:24:35,869 --> 01:24:38,393 Sheldon is not coming, because Sheldon's 2230 01:24:38,393 --> 01:24:39,833 a fucking pussy. 2231 01:24:39,833 --> 01:24:41,003 But no one sees that. 2232 01:24:41,003 --> 01:24:45,963 Because if anyone in this entire theater is a pussy, 2233 01:24:45,963 --> 01:24:47,343 Sheldon is a pussy. 2234 01:24:47,343 --> 01:24:49,560 Sheldon is a pussy! 2235 01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:51,945 [SOUTHERN MUSIC] 2236 01:24:57,483 --> 01:24:58,483 It's over. 2237 01:24:58,483 --> 01:25:00,133 We've reached an impasse. 2238 01:25:00,133 --> 01:25:01,493 Great. 2239 01:25:01,493 --> 01:25:03,660 Don't think I forgot how you flirted 2240 01:25:03,660 --> 01:25:06,083 with Miles, ogling his muscles, begging 2241 01:25:06,083 --> 01:25:07,883 him to fatally exert himself. 2242 01:25:07,883 --> 01:25:09,563 Please understand, I had zero 2243 01:25:09,563 --> 01:25:10,823 attraction to your husband. 2244 01:25:10,823 --> 01:25:12,713 He is out of your league. 2245 01:25:12,713 --> 01:25:16,433 Wouldn't have touched you with a 10-foot pole, which he had, 2246 01:25:16,433 --> 01:25:19,323 by the way. 2247 01:25:19,323 --> 01:25:22,293 Trust is broken, and maybe you are too. 2248 01:25:22,293 --> 01:25:23,713 Oh, maybe so. 2249 01:25:23,713 --> 01:25:24,513 Yeah. 2250 01:25:24,513 --> 01:25:27,813 In brighter news, someone familiar with the play 2251 01:25:27,813 --> 01:25:30,333 has graciously thrown his hat into the ring. 2252 01:25:30,333 --> 01:25:31,770 Oh, who, pray tell? 2253 01:25:31,770 --> 01:25:32,603 Rudie. 2254 01:25:32,603 --> 01:25:33,940 Oh, perfect. 2255 01:25:33,940 --> 01:25:35,523 We felt it made sense. 2256 01:25:35,523 --> 01:25:36,363 Did ya? 2257 01:25:36,363 --> 01:25:38,643 Maybe tell Rudie that actors are not hyenas 2258 01:25:38,643 --> 01:25:41,133 or whatever mythical shit you ascribe to them. 2259 01:25:41,133 --> 01:25:44,493 They're just very stupid people. 2260 01:25:44,493 --> 01:25:45,753 I see. 2261 01:25:45,753 --> 01:25:47,463 Everything is the man's fault. 2262 01:25:47,463 --> 01:25:48,663 In this case, yes. 2263 01:25:48,663 --> 01:25:50,653 No, look inward, Sam. 2264 01:25:50,653 --> 01:25:51,453 I do. 2265 01:25:51,453 --> 01:25:54,033 I go to therapy every week with one of the best 2266 01:25:54,033 --> 01:25:55,413 therapists in this country. 2267 01:25:55,413 --> 01:25:58,473 And this is where it brought me, this shitty fucking office. 2268 01:25:58,473 --> 01:25:59,553 I hated this job. 2269 01:25:59,553 --> 01:26:01,323 And this trophy, I've been looking at it. 2270 01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:03,927 I fucking hate it. 2271 01:26:03,927 --> 01:26:04,923 Eh! 2272 01:26:04,923 --> 01:26:05,913 Gah! 2273 01:26:05,913 --> 01:26:08,133 Can't even knock over a trophy. 2274 01:26:08,133 --> 01:26:10,023 I fucking hate this place. 2275 01:26:10,023 --> 01:26:11,403 I quit. 2276 01:26:11,403 --> 01:26:13,599 You're fired. 2277 01:26:13,599 --> 01:26:16,014 [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC] 2278 01:26:49,963 --> 01:26:53,803 Sam, you finally made it. 2279 01:26:53,803 --> 01:26:56,023 How do you like my new office? 2280 01:26:56,023 --> 01:26:57,233 It's kind of gross. 2281 01:26:57,233 --> 01:26:58,393 These are some of my buddies 2282 01:26:58,393 --> 01:26:59,560 who have also made mistakes. 2283 01:27:02,413 --> 01:27:06,500 You're one of us now, one of the outcasts. 2284 01:27:06,500 --> 01:27:07,333 I'm sorry. 2285 01:27:07,333 --> 01:27:08,923 Are there no levels here? 2286 01:27:08,923 --> 01:27:12,043 Everyone's just clumped together with me, a woman who had 2287 01:27:12,043 --> 01:27:14,833 a minor outburst at a theater? 2288 01:27:14,833 --> 01:27:17,053 Protesters got you ruffled, huh? 2289 01:27:17,053 --> 01:27:19,263 I see you're wearing all black. 2290 01:27:19,263 --> 01:27:22,773 Are you in mourning for your life? 2291 01:27:22,773 --> 01:27:23,573 [CHUCKLES] 2292 01:27:23,573 --> 01:27:24,683 Yeah. 2293 01:27:24,683 --> 01:27:27,203 Anyway, it doesn't matter. 2294 01:27:27,203 --> 01:27:28,363 It's over. 2295 01:27:28,363 --> 01:27:29,233 I'm out. 2296 01:27:29,233 --> 01:27:30,763 Rudie's directing. 2297 01:27:30,763 --> 01:27:32,023 Rudie? 2298 01:27:32,023 --> 01:27:33,703 He's great, very competent. 2299 01:27:33,703 --> 01:27:35,713 He has zero directing experience. 2300 01:27:35,713 --> 01:27:37,863 But he seems competent. 2301 01:27:37,863 --> 01:27:40,113 You know what I do when I feel low, when I feel down? 2302 01:27:40,113 --> 01:27:43,903 I just meditate on all those standing O's. 2303 01:27:43,903 --> 01:27:44,703 [SIGHS] 2304 01:27:44,703 --> 01:27:45,573 Oh, hey. 2305 01:27:45,573 --> 01:27:49,233 I have got some exciting news in the Greggy Land department. 2306 01:27:49,233 --> 01:27:50,098 What? 2307 01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:53,563 I think I finagled myself a gig with-- 2308 01:27:53,563 --> 01:27:56,483 drum roll-- Nickelodeon. 2309 01:27:56,483 --> 01:27:57,283 What? 2310 01:27:57,283 --> 01:27:59,283 Maybe I'll put in a word. 2311 01:27:59,283 --> 01:28:01,283 That would be so huge for me right now 2312 01:28:01,283 --> 01:28:04,409 if you would really do that. 2313 01:28:04,409 --> 01:28:06,353 Got you. 2314 01:28:06,353 --> 01:28:07,153 Thanks. 2315 01:28:10,763 --> 01:28:12,263 Hey, can I put my hands 2316 01:28:12,263 --> 01:28:13,883 on both sides of your butt? 2317 01:28:13,883 --> 01:28:16,263 I'm doing this book about butt measurements. 2318 01:28:16,263 --> 01:28:17,063 And I think-- 2319 01:28:17,063 --> 01:28:18,083 I'm an idiot. 2320 01:28:18,083 --> 01:28:20,013 Desperation, and you smelled it on me. 2321 01:28:20,013 --> 01:28:20,813 Of course. 2322 01:28:23,093 --> 01:28:24,143 Don't salute me. 2323 01:28:24,143 --> 01:28:26,415 Fucking weirdos, you ruin people's lives. 2324 01:28:26,415 --> 01:28:28,373 Hey, the book is legit, all right? 2325 01:28:28,373 --> 01:28:30,168 And I'm serious about Nickelodeon. 2326 01:28:30,168 --> 01:28:30,968 Sam! 2327 01:28:36,723 --> 01:28:37,833 Rudie rules. 2328 01:28:37,833 --> 01:28:38,823 I love him. 2329 01:28:38,823 --> 01:28:39,933 I love the confidence. 2330 01:28:39,933 --> 01:28:40,983 Sorry. 2331 01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:42,123 With Rudie, it feels right. 2332 01:28:42,123 --> 01:28:43,833 I just have to say that. It just does. 2333 01:28:43,833 --> 01:28:45,933 It's so automatic, so organic. 2334 01:28:45,933 --> 01:28:50,163 We're like Laurel and Hardy, just two total freaks. 2335 01:28:50,163 --> 01:28:52,093 The woman has lost power. 2336 01:28:52,093 --> 01:28:53,943 The man is in power. 2337 01:28:53,943 --> 01:28:55,713 And everyone is happy. 2338 01:28:55,713 --> 01:28:59,263 Rudie doesn't care how people see him. 2339 01:28:59,263 --> 01:29:01,213 I like that. 2340 01:29:01,213 --> 01:29:03,573 You don't care about people. 2341 01:29:03,573 --> 01:29:05,413 That's my shit. 2342 01:29:05,413 --> 01:29:06,783 Yeah, he's a-- 2343 01:29:06,783 --> 01:29:08,073 he's an alpha. 2344 01:29:08,073 --> 01:29:09,783 Objectively, that's better for the play, 2345 01:29:09,783 --> 01:29:12,273 if you believe in objectivity. 2346 01:29:12,273 --> 01:29:14,883 I don't. 2347 01:29:14,883 --> 01:29:16,503 I'm going to go be in Star's play. 2348 01:29:16,503 --> 01:29:19,173 She's special, you know? 2349 01:29:19,173 --> 01:29:23,348 She lets there be water where Rudie is brick. 2350 01:29:23,348 --> 01:29:24,973 Can't build a house with brick, but you 2351 01:29:24,973 --> 01:29:27,073 can build a lake with water. 2352 01:29:31,803 --> 01:29:35,843 I just realized I have K in my pocket. 2353 01:29:35,843 --> 01:29:38,753 Why did I take over? 2354 01:29:38,753 --> 01:29:41,303 Why does a wild dog attack a water buffalo? 2355 01:29:43,823 --> 01:29:47,288 It's not my fault Sam is weak or like a mom. 2356 01:29:49,943 --> 01:29:54,643 Don't act like I'm the only person who hates their mother. 2357 01:29:54,643 --> 01:29:57,968 Most people do. 2358 01:29:57,968 --> 01:29:58,893 Hmm. 2359 01:29:58,893 --> 01:30:00,593 They brought us into this mess. 2360 01:30:00,593 --> 01:30:02,903 What was the game plan? 2361 01:30:02,903 --> 01:30:05,273 I mean, literally everything bad that happens to us 2362 01:30:05,273 --> 01:30:07,983 is their fault. 2363 01:30:07,983 --> 01:30:12,063 I'm a Republican. 2364 01:30:18,186 --> 01:30:20,073 [LAUGHS] 2365 01:30:20,073 --> 01:30:25,903 (SINGING) I don't need a mother, one to call my own. 2366 01:30:25,903 --> 01:30:31,108 I don't need a mother; the theater is my home. 2367 01:30:34,886 --> 01:30:37,381 [APPLAUSE] 2368 01:30:57,840 --> 01:31:00,335 [APPLAUSE] 2369 01:31:22,291 --> 01:31:24,786 [APPLAUSE] 2370 01:31:37,261 --> 01:31:39,273 The best day of my life! 2371 01:31:39,273 --> 01:31:42,633 I realized I don't like the arts. 2372 01:31:42,633 --> 01:31:46,113 It's extremely manic. 2373 01:31:46,113 --> 01:31:47,373 I love it here. 2374 01:31:47,373 --> 01:31:49,353 Everything is in its place. 2375 01:31:49,353 --> 01:31:51,813 There's order. 2376 01:31:51,813 --> 01:31:54,753 I'm content. 2377 01:31:54,753 --> 01:31:56,453 I'm finally content. 2378 01:31:56,453 --> 01:31:59,453 Finance, who knew? 2379 01:31:59,453 --> 01:32:02,213 And they say they may have a full-time position opening up. 2380 01:32:02,213 --> 01:32:07,143 So we'll see. 2381 01:32:07,143 --> 01:32:10,725 But I'm very happy. 2382 01:32:10,725 --> 01:32:13,215 [PHONE RINGING] 2383 01:33:01,023 --> 01:33:03,513 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2384 01:33:07,995 --> 01:33:12,073 SINGER: (SINGING) Trying to give you up-- fiasco. 2385 01:33:12,073 --> 01:33:17,323 When I'm not with you, I'm in airplane mode. 2386 01:33:17,323 --> 01:33:20,170 Trying to give you up-- 2387 01:33:20,170 --> 01:33:22,038 fiasco. 2388 01:33:22,038 --> 01:33:27,603 {\an8}When I'm not with you, I'm stuck in airplane mode. 2389 01:33:27,603 --> 01:33:37,763 {\an8}Airplane mode, airplane mode, airplane mode, airplane mode. 2390 01:33:37,763 --> 01:33:40,153 {\an8}Had to give you up. 2391 01:33:40,153 --> 01:33:42,808 {\an8}Didn't choose to. 2392 01:33:42,808 --> 01:33:47,803 {\an8}I don't feel like me when I'm not with you. 2393 01:33:47,803 --> 01:33:52,743 {\an8}You will always come, but you never stay. 2394 01:33:52,743 --> 01:33:57,783 {\an8}We will always fall and go our separate ways. 2395 01:33:57,783 --> 01:34:02,119 {\an8}How did I start walking down this lonely road? 2396 01:34:02,119 --> 01:34:03,613 {\an8}Lonely road. 2397 01:34:03,613 --> 01:34:08,373 {\an8}That will always take me as I grow more alone. 2398 01:34:08,373 --> 01:34:10,288 {\an8}I miss our contact. 2399 01:34:10,288 --> 01:34:11,717 {\an8}I miss holding hands. 2400 01:34:14,965 --> 01:34:19,003 {\an8}This be aching. 2401 01:34:19,003 --> 01:34:24,283 Trying to give you up-- fiasco. 2402 01:34:24,283 --> 01:34:28,603 {\an8}When I'm not with you, I'm in airplane mode. 2403 01:34:28,603 --> 01:34:32,043 {\an8}Trying to give you up-- 2404 01:34:32,043 --> 01:34:34,201 {\an8}fiasco. 2405 01:34:34,201 --> 01:34:38,941 {\an8}When I'm not with you, I'm stuck in airplane mode. 2406 01:34:38,941 --> 01:34:43,863 {\an8}In a silk robe drinking coffee all alone. 2407 01:34:43,863 --> 01:34:49,067 {\an8}You know nothing good ever happens in my phone. 2408 01:34:49,067 --> 01:34:53,942 You know nothing good ever happens in my phone. 2409 01:34:53,942 --> 01:35:00,169 {\an8}I took a wrong turn at a fork in the road. 2410 01:35:00,169 --> 01:35:05,232 Now I'm drinking coffee in my silk robe. 2411 01:35:05,232 --> 01:35:10,655 Now I'm all alone drinking coffee in my robe. 2412 01:35:10,655 --> 01:35:12,627 Oh! 2413 01:35:12,627 --> 01:35:18,050 Airplane mode. 2414 01:35:18,050 --> 01:35:20,043 I'm all alone, baby. 2415 01:35:20,043 --> 01:35:22,373 Trying give you up-- 2416 01:35:22,373 --> 01:35:23,756 fiasco. 2417 01:35:23,756 --> 01:35:24,678 Ah! 2418 01:35:24,678 --> 01:35:30,023 When I'm not with you, I'm in airplane mode. 2419 01:35:30,023 --> 01:35:32,663 Trying to give you up-- 2420 01:35:32,663 --> 01:35:34,043 fiasco. 2421 01:35:34,043 --> 01:35:35,423 Can't give you up, baby! 2422 01:35:35,423 --> 01:35:40,283 When I'm not with you, I'm stuck in airplane mode. 2423 01:35:40,283 --> 01:35:45,565 Airplane mode, airplane mode, baby. 2424 01:35:50,385 --> 01:35:53,033 Trying to give you up-- 2425 01:35:53,033 --> 01:35:55,463 fiasco. 2426 01:35:55,463 --> 01:36:00,503 When I'm not with you, I'm in airplane mode. 2427 01:36:00,503 --> 01:36:02,973 Trying to give you up-- 2428 01:36:02,973 --> 01:36:05,638 fiasco. 2429 01:36:05,638 --> 01:36:10,943 When I'm not with you, I'm stuck in airplane mode. 2430 01:36:10,943 --> 01:36:19,673 Airplane mode, airplane mode, airplane mode, airplane mode. 2431 01:36:22,673 --> 01:36:25,423 [SOBBING]