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{\an8}[Stacy] All across the world,
2
00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:42,293
{\an8}and maybe ever since
the beginning of time,
3
00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:46,001
{\an8}different cultures had different ways
of celebrating a kid coming of age.
4
00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,043
{\an8}There's the quinceañera.
5
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,126
{\an8}- There's Sweet 16.
- [indistinct laughter]
6
00:00:52,126 --> 00:00:54,626
{\an8}[Stacy] There's also something
called land diving.
7
00:00:55,126 --> 00:00:57,918
My dad told me that
in the Brazilian Amazon,
8
00:00:57,918 --> 00:01:00,209
there's this thing called
a bullet ant initiation
9
00:01:00,209 --> 00:01:03,418
where fire ants crawl all over your hands
and bite you.
10
00:01:03,418 --> 00:01:06,126
And if you can handle the pain,
you're ready to be a man.
11
00:01:06,126 --> 00:01:08,376
I told him if he thinks that sounds bad,
12
00:01:09,668 --> 00:01:11,918
try being a girl in middle school.
13
00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:14,709
["10 Things I Hate About You"
by Leah Kate playing]
14
00:01:16,084 --> 00:01:17,584
[Stacy] Everyone has their own thing.
15
00:01:19,418 --> 00:01:20,668
And we have ours.
16
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:28,043
[song ends abruptly]
17
00:01:28,043 --> 00:01:30,668
- [dramatic music playing]
- [in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe...
18
00:01:30,668 --> 00:01:33,126
[Stacy, narrating] At a Bar or Bat Mitzvah,
when you're 13,
19
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:36,376
you step before friends,
family, and elders of the temple
20
00:01:36,376 --> 00:01:37,793
and read from the Torah.
21
00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:40,959
Then, there's usually a party.
22
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,543
All right, mishpachah,
23
00:01:43,543 --> 00:01:48,418
please say hello
to our newest and most fabulous adult,
24
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:52,501
Stacy Friedman!
25
00:01:52,501 --> 00:01:54,709
- [crowd cheering]
- [house music playing]
26
00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:57,376
[Stacy, narrating] Your Bat Mitzvah
is the first day of your adult life,
27
00:01:57,376 --> 00:02:01,626
and everyone knows an iconic adult life
hinges on how it starts.
28
00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:06,251
["I Love It" by Charli XCX playing]
♪ I don't care, I love it ♪
29
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,501
{\an8}[Stacy, continuing] The theme.
30
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,834
- The food.
- [girl] Can I get one?
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00:02:09,834 --> 00:02:11,376
[Stacy] The entrance video.
32
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:13,584
It all tells a story.
33
00:02:14,084 --> 00:02:15,876
Who do I want to be?
34
00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:19,876
Will I have amazing lifelong friends
like Lydia Rodriguez Katz?
35
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:26,751
Nothing before that day matters
because that was the old you, the kid you.
36
00:02:27,376 --> 00:02:28,834
Now you're an adult.
37
00:02:29,418 --> 00:02:32,501
So who cares if two years ago
you accidentally peed yourself
38
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:35,418
during a field trip and had to get
a secret dry pants delivery
39
00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:37,501
from your awesome older sister Ronnie?
40
00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:40,084
This is a hypothetical situation
of course.
41
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:41,584
♪ I love it ♪
42
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:44,126
Go Stacy! That's my sister!
43
00:02:44,126 --> 00:02:46,334
[Stacy] And what better way
to kick off adulthood
44
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,543
than with the hottest guy
in seventh grade?
45
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,668
♪ I love it ♪
46
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:52,084
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
47
00:02:55,793 --> 00:03:02,376
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
48
00:03:02,376 --> 00:03:04,084
Andy, what are you doing?
49
00:03:04,709 --> 00:03:09,709
Stacy, I've loved you since the first time
I saw you in the temple's Purim Pageant.
50
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:13,209
You were the finest Queen Esther
I ever laid eyes on.
51
00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:17,834
Is it okay if I officially signify me
being your boyfriend by giving you a kiss?
52
00:03:18,959 --> 00:03:19,959
[camera shutter clicking]
53
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,668
Consent given, Andy Goldfarb.
54
00:03:27,543 --> 00:03:29,293
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] Stacy!
55
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,251
[Stacy sighing]
56
00:03:31,251 --> 00:03:33,543
[Bree] Stacy,
we're gonna be late. Let's go.
57
00:03:33,543 --> 00:03:35,626
[upbeat music playing]
58
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:40,084
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] I know you can hear me.
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00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:43,668
[sighing] One second,
I'm flossing like you tell me to!
60
00:03:43,668 --> 00:03:46,293
- Now I'm gurgling.
- Well, hurry up!
61
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,501
- You too, Ronnie!
- [Ronnie] I'm ready!
62
00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:51,001
You always say that. Never ready.
63
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:53,751
- Ugh. Fine you got me. I'm not ready.
- [Danny] Yankees are winning.
64
00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:55,793
[Bree] That's what you're wearing?
65
00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:58,418
Yeah, I don't even know who this kid is.
I'm not gonna wear a suit.
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00:03:58,418 --> 00:04:01,376
It's a junior high friend.
We have to get to know those parents too.
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00:04:01,376 --> 00:04:03,876
I don't want to get to know 'em.
I liked when they were little.
68
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:06,334
All we had to know was them
and the trampoline park guy.
69
00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:07,668
Ronnie, we're gonna be late!
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00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:10,001
I'll be ready when Stacy's ready, Mom.
It's all good.
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00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:14,293
Hey, Andy, of course I'll share
a matzo ball soup with you.
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00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:16,709
[Stacy groaning]
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00:04:18,251 --> 00:04:19,834
Hi, Andy. I like your yarmulke.
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00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,376
I didn't know you were going
to the Bat Mitzvah tonight, that's cool.
75
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,001
Honey, what are you looking for?
76
00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:25,251
I can't find my earring.
77
00:04:25,251 --> 00:04:27,043
Oh, good luck.
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00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:30,168
Keep looking, baby.
Keep looking. Take your time.
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00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:31,501
Stacy!
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00:04:31,501 --> 00:04:33,126
Sorry, I'm coming!
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00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:39,334
[exhaling sharply]
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00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:43,084
[music fading]
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00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,418
[Ronnie] Those are cool.
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00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:48,459
- Mom will never let you wear them, though.
- [Stacy] She won't even notice.
85
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,834
And if she does,
I'll put on a sad show for Dad.
86
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,626
Oh, she'll notice. She'll hate them.
87
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:56,251
And Dad will feel bad, but ultimately
be too afraid to stand up to Mom.
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00:04:56,251 --> 00:04:57,918
I've known them longer than you.
89
00:05:00,084 --> 00:05:03,543
Um, excuse me,
what are those things on your feet?
90
00:05:03,543 --> 00:05:06,126
Lydia's mom bought us each a pair,
so we could twin.
91
00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:07,501
What's twin?
92
00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:09,543
Wearing the same thing.
It's very seventh grade.
93
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,376
Take them off. You look like a stripper.
94
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:14,126
- Mom, you can't say that.
- Yeah, Mom. You're gonna get cancelled.
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00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:15,168
Oh boy.
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00:05:15,168 --> 00:05:17,501
Take them off or lose your phone.
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00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:19,209
[objects clattering]
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00:05:19,209 --> 00:05:20,709
[anticipatory music playing]
99
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:26,834
Oh.
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00:05:29,418 --> 00:05:31,543
No, you can't. Just take them off.
101
00:05:31,543 --> 00:05:32,959
[Bree] Everyone in the car.
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00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:35,626
Thirty seconds or there's going
to be no food left at this thing.
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00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,501
You're the one who's not ready.
We're ready.
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00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,793
- I don't know where my earring is.
- Babe, did you look everywhere? Honestly?
105
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,126
'Cause if you look hard enough,
you can find it.
106
00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:44,668
Why would you do that to me?
107
00:05:44,668 --> 00:05:46,709
Because I knew the girls needed more time.
108
00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:48,918
I also... I don't want to go
to this thing at all.
109
00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,834
- [Bree] You guys are the worst.
- Yeah. I love you. Okay.
110
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,376
Come on, Mom, just let her wear the shoes.
111
00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:54,668
It's not fair to Lydia
to make her wear them by herself.
112
00:05:54,668 --> 00:05:57,751
Okay. You're going to hate them
in two minutes.
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00:05:58,501 --> 00:05:59,751
You're welcome.
114
00:05:59,751 --> 00:06:01,001
Thank you. Love you.
115
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:03,001
[Stacy squealing]
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00:06:03,626 --> 00:06:05,834
[Stacy muttering, groaning]
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00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,751
[upbeat music playing]
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00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:10,168
- Whoa. Ow!
- [woman] Stacy!
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00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:11,668
I'm coming!
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00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:14,001
Ugh, fine.
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00:06:18,584 --> 00:06:19,959
[man] Move, child!
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00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,084
[Stacy] Coming, sorry!
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00:06:21,084 --> 00:06:23,043
- [Bree] Oh yeah!
- [Danny] Oh, nice job.
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00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:25,459
[Bree] Taking after Dad
with the dress clothes and sneakers.
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00:06:25,459 --> 00:06:27,668
[Danny] Comfort always
comes first, sweetie.
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00:06:29,626 --> 00:06:32,709
- There she is!
- [Bree] She's limping. Hi, sweetheart!
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00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:35,876
- [Stacy] Hi, Lyd!
- Lydia, Lydia encyclopedia.
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00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:36,876
[Lydia] Hi, guys!
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00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:38,501
Nice shoes. You look super cute, Lydia.
130
00:06:38,501 --> 00:06:41,001
Oh, thanks, Ron Ron.
Stacy and I are twinning.
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00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,001
We heard.
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00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,668
Hmm. Not anymore. [chuckling]
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00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,918
- You took yours off.
- I got you.
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00:06:45,918 --> 00:06:49,084
- Oh, thank you. I couldn't feel my feet.
- Mom and Dad know we're taking you?
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00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:52,376
Well, I told my mom, and then she told
Dad's lawyer, so we're good to go.
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00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:55,168
["Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo"
by Rick Derringer playing]
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00:06:55,168 --> 00:06:56,293
Nice!
138
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,793
Ugh! Dad, can you turn this song off?
It's embarrassing.
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00:06:59,793 --> 00:07:02,043
Why is it embarrassing?
No one's around to hear it.
140
00:07:02,043 --> 00:07:04,126
Oh my God! You're humiliating me!
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00:07:04,126 --> 00:07:07,084
All right! I'll turn it off. Jesus.
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00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,043
[Stacy crying]
143
00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:12,043
I turned it off, guys!
What are we still upset about?
144
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:15,001
Their watching sad videos
to see who can cry first.
145
00:07:16,168 --> 00:07:19,668
You're trying to cry. That is so bizarre.
146
00:07:19,668 --> 00:07:21,751
[affectionate chatter on screen]
147
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:25,751
Ugh! You're so freaking good at this game.
I hate it.
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00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:27,626
Everybody in this house needs a shrink.
149
00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:28,834
Yeah, you need two.
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00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:29,751
Ten.
151
00:07:29,751 --> 00:07:31,751
[chuckling] That's nice.
152
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,293
Everyone be normal. We're going to temple.
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00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:35,501
Here's your music.
154
00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:38,168
["Stupid Love" by Lady Gaga playing]
155
00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:47,168
[DJ] Make some noise, mishpachah!
156
00:07:49,459 --> 00:07:51,293
Woohoo!
157
00:07:51,293 --> 00:07:53,543
It's Devin's B'nai Mitzvah!
158
00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:57,709
They're becoming an adult.
Let's hear it for Devin!
159
00:07:57,709 --> 00:08:00,543
We've been pushing all the teachers
to assign more homework.
160
00:08:00,543 --> 00:08:03,668
If we want to prepare our kids
for this world, we gotta start 'em early.
161
00:08:03,668 --> 00:08:05,459
India's been kicking our ass.
162
00:08:05,459 --> 00:08:07,668
- I'm always telling my son, Marvin--
- [Danny] I'm sorry.
163
00:08:07,668 --> 00:08:10,834
Can I interrupt you for one second?
I think this is on behalf of the table.
164
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:14,626
We came here
to enjoy chicken and fish tonight
165
00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:17,501
and maybe have a few drinks,
so could you stop talking?
166
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:20,001
♪ I want your stupid love ♪
167
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:20,918
[Danny] Thank you.
168
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:22,709
Wow!
169
00:08:25,751 --> 00:08:27,751
[creepy music playing]
170
00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:31,459
This is such a classic.
Have you watched Leprechaun in the Hood?
171
00:08:31,459 --> 00:08:32,959
Dude, that's a masterpiece.
172
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:37,084
We know. We've seen it. It was awful.
Can you just let us watch our movie?
173
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,334
Bye!
174
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:39,959
That hurt.
175
00:08:41,668 --> 00:08:43,418
- We've seen that?
- No.
176
00:08:43,418 --> 00:08:44,668
[both chuckling]
177
00:08:44,668 --> 00:08:46,459
Okay, I love this Carnivale theme,
178
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,001
but your Candyland theme
is gonna be the best of the year.
179
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,668
Oh, until your New York theme
puts the entire school to shame!
180
00:08:52,668 --> 00:08:54,209
If my parents let me have it.
181
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,168
Did your dad talk to DJ Schmuley yet?
182
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:59,668
Let me hear you scream,
"DJ Schmuley is my king!"
183
00:08:59,668 --> 00:09:01,918
[crowd] DJ Schmuley is my king!
184
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,876
- He's already been booked. We got it!
- Sweet!
185
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:06,626
["Preach" by Saint Motel playing
over speakers]
186
00:09:06,626 --> 00:09:08,501
Looking nice, ladies!
187
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:09,751
- [Lydia] Hi, guys.
- Hi.
188
00:09:09,751 --> 00:09:11,668
Can you believe
we're becoming adults this year?
189
00:09:11,668 --> 00:09:12,626
- No.
- [Nikki] Yeah.
190
00:09:12,626 --> 00:09:15,084
My mom actually let me shave
my legs this afternoon.
191
00:09:15,084 --> 00:09:17,376
First time. So magical.
192
00:09:17,376 --> 00:09:18,876
Oh, I'm so proud of you, Nikki!
193
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,959
It burns so bad right now, like somebody
wiped wasabi all over my shins.
194
00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,293
Oh.
195
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:24,668
Oh my God.
196
00:09:24,668 --> 00:09:27,501
[Tara] Why do Kym, Anya,
and Megan always look so cool?
197
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,126
Are those birds rescued?
198
00:09:29,126 --> 00:09:31,043
- Say what?
- They better be.
199
00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:33,334
- They scare me.
- Yeah, you know what else is scary?
200
00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:37,001
Nikki's mom is allowing Ronnie and Zaara
to drink alcohol!
201
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:39,418
One, two, three. Woo!
202
00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:43,001
[exclaiming]
203
00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:44,751
- Okay, let me hide those.
- [Ronnie coughing]
204
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,251
Yeah, she's trying to be like a cool mom.
It's really weird.
205
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:48,584
[Andy] Let's go!
206
00:09:50,126 --> 00:09:53,501
Oh my God,
Andy Goldfarb looks so cute tonight.
207
00:09:55,709 --> 00:09:56,751
♪ Let's go ♪
208
00:09:59,376 --> 00:10:02,084
Do you realize
that one day he will be mine,
209
00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:03,876
and you will have a cool boyfriend too,
210
00:10:03,876 --> 00:10:07,376
and then we'll have a joint wedding
and move to adjoining lofts in Tribeca?
211
00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:09,084
In Taylor Swift's building?
212
00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,418
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
213
00:10:10,418 --> 00:10:11,459
[giggling]
214
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:12,418
I'm gonna talk to him.
215
00:10:12,418 --> 00:10:13,793
- [Lydia] What?
- [Stacy] I'm ready.
216
00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:16,293
You should, Stace. Yeah, you got this.
217
00:10:16,293 --> 00:10:17,334
Come with me, please.
218
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:18,293
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
219
00:10:18,293 --> 00:10:20,126
Go, go, go. You got this.
220
00:10:20,126 --> 00:10:21,376
Gang way!
221
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:23,043
Hey, wait for me!
222
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:25,126
- No! You're embarrassing me.
- Yes!
223
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,793
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
224
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:32,251
♪ I don't eat, I don't sleep ♪
225
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:36,876
♪ I do nothing but think of you ♪
226
00:10:38,084 --> 00:10:40,084
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
227
00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:41,543
♪ You keep me under your... ♪
228
00:10:41,543 --> 00:10:42,626
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
229
00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:43,584
[song stops]
230
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:45,501
I like your kicks.
231
00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:50,959
Andy, smile!
232
00:10:52,876 --> 00:10:54,001
[girl] Finish him!
233
00:11:01,084 --> 00:11:04,501
Why would Mateo do that?
That was so uncalled for.
234
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:05,501
Oh, sorry.
235
00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:06,834
Completely. Sorry.
236
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,459
Why does Andy hang out
with that Italian exchange student anyway?
237
00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:10,793
I think he's Ecuadorian.
238
00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:13,501
Whatever. I heard he has a girlfriend
back home. She's in college.
239
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:15,584
Um, no. I think that's, like, illegal.
240
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:17,668
- [It roaring]
- [Zaara screaming]
241
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,209
- Oh my God!
- [crowd gasping]
242
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:22,043
- [Zaara] Sorry.
- What's wrong with you?
243
00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:24,418
- Why would you do that? So embarrassing.
- I'm sorry.
244
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:27,584
All right, everybody, make some noise!
245
00:11:27,584 --> 00:11:32,459
♪ If you don't wanna see me
Dancing with somebody ♪
246
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,501
["Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa playing]
247
00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:37,418
♪ If you wanna believe... ♪
248
00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:40,376
Come on, let's dance, everybody! Come on!
249
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:45,251
♪ Don't show up, don't come out ♪
250
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:49,043
♪ Don't start caring about me now ♪
251
00:11:51,626 --> 00:11:54,376
- [Schmuley] Let me hear you scream, Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
252
00:11:54,376 --> 00:11:55,709
- Schmu--
- [crowd] Ley!
253
00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:56,959
- Schmu, Schmu--
- [crowd] Ley!
254
00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:59,126
Why does everybody like this idiot?
255
00:11:59,126 --> 00:12:00,793
- He's the best!
- The best.
256
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:05,209
- You've been officially Schmulitized!
- [crowd cheering]
257
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:06,626
[music fades]
258
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,501
[Stacy] Thank you family
for joining us today.
259
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,543
Let me take you all on a journey.
260
00:12:12,543 --> 00:12:15,543
Picture this. My entrance video starts...
261
00:12:16,376 --> 00:12:19,168
Which, as we know,
sets the tone for the entire Bat Mitzvah.
262
00:12:19,168 --> 00:12:21,126
- [Stacy] Mm-hmm.
- [man shouting]
263
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,126
- [Stacy] Ugh, Ronnie!
- Girls, come on.
264
00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:27,418
Anyway, I descend the stairs
of a private yacht on the Hudson River
265
00:12:27,418 --> 00:12:29,459
to cheers and fireworks.
266
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:30,709
Whoa.
267
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,209
Then! Oh, who's that zipping by
on a jet ski?
268
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,834
Why that's international recording artist
Olivia Rodrigo.
269
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:38,834
Wait, how we gonna pay for this?
270
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:39,751
Oh, we have ideas.
271
00:12:39,751 --> 00:12:41,293
They... they got ideas, honey.
272
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:42,501
[Lydia] Okay.
273
00:12:43,626 --> 00:12:46,584
No. Wait. No. The old guy
was supposed to be for your dad.
274
00:12:46,584 --> 00:12:47,876
Oh no. Just keep going.
275
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:48,959
[girls muttering]
276
00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:50,584
- There.
- Okay.
277
00:12:50,584 --> 00:12:52,709
Oh, this is amazing.
278
00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:54,501
- Shut up, Ronnie.
- No, you shut up.
279
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:55,626
I'll kill you, Ronnie.
280
00:12:55,626 --> 00:12:57,418
Not if I stab you first!
281
00:12:57,418 --> 00:12:58,709
Oh, that's... that's nice.
282
00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:02,376
Oh my God, this is important!
I'm becoming a freaking woman, everyone!
283
00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:05,793
Okay, woman. All you should worry about
right now is your mitzvah project
284
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:07,293
and practicing your Haftarah.
285
00:13:07,293 --> 00:13:09,209
- [Bree] Mm-hmm.
- That's not important!
286
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:14,668
I mean, it is important to you
and other old people and God and stuff.
287
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,334
But to me, the party is important.
288
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:20,459
If this doesn't go well,
I could end up like Kate Kossman.
289
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:22,251
You are not gonna end up
like Kate Kossman.
290
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,626
Who's Kate Kossman?
291
00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:27,334
Oh, she had this terrible medieval themed
Bat Mitzvah called Kate Kossman Knights,
292
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:29,668
not realizing
the initials spelled out KKK.
293
00:13:29,668 --> 00:13:31,709
Yeah, no, I could see
that being a problem. Okay.
294
00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:34,793
So now, she just sits alone in
the cafeteria sewing friendship bracelets
295
00:13:34,793 --> 00:13:38,293
for literally no one
because she has no friends.
296
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:39,668
That sounds a little dramatic.
297
00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:43,334
Oh, so you think you shouldn't be
punished for promoting the KKK.
298
00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:45,793
Wow, Mom,
didn't realize you supported racism.
299
00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:46,793
Oh boy.
300
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:47,876
[Stacy] Hear me out.
301
00:13:47,876 --> 00:13:50,959
You're always saying how my Bat Mitzvah
determines the rest of my life.
302
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:53,084
And I think Dua Lipa
would make my life perfect.
303
00:13:53,084 --> 00:13:56,668
No. No famous pop stars,
no yachts, no sailboats even.
304
00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:59,293
That's so unfair!
Ronnie got a baked potato bar at hers!
305
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:02,709
Listen, when I got Bar Mitzvahed,
we had a party in Grandma's basement.
306
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,793
We all split, like, this giant matzo ball.
307
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:05,709
That was the fun.
308
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:08,001
You know what the theme was? Being Jewish.
309
00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:10,793
Just practice your prayers
and write your speech already.
310
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:13,209
Oh, I've been doing that Mr. Friedman.
It's all covered.
311
00:14:13,209 --> 00:14:15,459
You're writing Stacy's speech?
312
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:18,084
- You know I'm not good at writing.
- English is her worst subject.
313
00:14:18,084 --> 00:14:19,334
It's really bad.
314
00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:21,459
- Stacy, that is so not okay.
- [Lydia] It's fine.
315
00:14:21,459 --> 00:14:24,626
She's gonna do my entrance video.
I know she'll crush it. Don't worry.
316
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:27,959
Can I at least have a virgin mojito bar?
317
00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,501
You can have a ball pit.
318
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,209
Oh my God, Dad. That's for kids!
319
00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:33,418
I've had my period for seven months now!
320
00:14:33,418 --> 00:14:35,126
[chuckling] Wait, Stacy.
321
00:14:35,126 --> 00:14:36,959
That's a long period, sweetheart!
322
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,418
You know what? I'm gonna head out.
323
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:41,543
I'll drive you.
324
00:14:41,543 --> 00:14:43,209
[Lydia] Love you. See you in the morning.
325
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:45,001
Don't worry, Dad. It'll be okay.
326
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:47,543
She's growing up so fast. It's crazy.
327
00:14:47,543 --> 00:14:48,834
[Ronnie] I'm drinking now.
328
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:51,668
I tried it the other day.
I didn't like it. We're good.
329
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:54,959
[door closing]
330
00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:57,376
[Stacy, in Hebrew]
Va-y'chal Mosh--
331
00:14:57,376 --> 00:15:00,001
- [Stacy sighs frustratedly]
- [recording, in Hebrew] Va-y'chal...
332
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:01,543
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, what's up?
333
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:04,459
Stacy Friedman here,
but I guess you already know that.
334
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:07,459
And I guess you already know
what I'm going to say.
335
00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:11,418
But just to be super safe,
I'm going to say it anyway.
336
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:16,001
I would really, really appreciate it
if I could have an amazing Bat Mitzvah.
337
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,418
[contemplative music playing]
338
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:19,709
And I know I need
to do my mitzvah project.
339
00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:24,209
But isn't a mitzvah project supposed to be
giving back in a way that represents me?
340
00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:26,168
Which is why I don't know what to do.
341
00:15:26,876 --> 00:15:28,251
I mean, I'm not popular.
342
00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:29,793
I'm not a loser.
343
00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:33,334
I don't know who I am.
344
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:37,334
But I do know,
if I have a kick-ass Bat Mitzvah,
345
00:15:37,334 --> 00:15:41,334
doors would open,
and I can have a fab life on my own terms.
346
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:43,168
[woman] No. No famous pop stars.
347
00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:44,501
[man] You can have a ball pit.
348
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:47,459
[Stacy] A ball pit? Lydia's
gonna get everything she asked for.
349
00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:49,459
Even a Twizzlers station for me.
350
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,168
I'm starting
to worry Mom and Dad don't get it,
351
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,209
and the whole thing's gonna suck.
352
00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:55,834
[music fades]
353
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:00,334
[Stacy whimpering]
354
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:04,168
- [Stacy] You had her phone the whole time?
- [Lydia] No, she was lying.
355
00:16:04,168 --> 00:16:05,668
- The audacity.
- The monster.
356
00:16:05,668 --> 00:16:06,918
Yeah.
357
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:08,834
- Can we sit outside? It's a nice day.
- No.
358
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,584
I mean, I definitely could use some color.
359
00:16:10,584 --> 00:16:13,084
- Yeah, it's true.
- Is that Tory Burch?
360
00:16:13,084 --> 00:16:17,293
Oh no, it's Walmart. I got this
and a water bottle for only $12.
361
00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:18,626
I was talking to her.
362
00:16:19,168 --> 00:16:20,001
[shushing]
363
00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:22,668
M-me?
364
00:16:22,668 --> 00:16:23,793
Your skirt.
365
00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:26,126
Uh, yeah, it is Tory Burch.
366
00:16:26,126 --> 00:16:29,793
My mom is trying to spend all
my dad's money before the next court date.
367
00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:33,501
I'm pretty sure I saw Hailey Bieber
wearing the exact same one.
368
00:16:33,501 --> 00:16:36,043
[softly] Oh cool. Okay. Bye.
369
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:38,126
[indistinct chatter]
370
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:39,834
That was weird.
371
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:42,834
- I love and hate them at the same time.
- [sighing] Yeah.
372
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,376
What just happened?
373
00:16:44,376 --> 00:16:46,418
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
374
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:55,501
♪ Wait a minute ♪
375
00:16:56,001 --> 00:17:00,334
♪ I think I left my conscience
On your front-door step ♪
376
00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:03,543
♪ Whoa ♪
377
00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:06,001
- [song stops]
- [pop music playing on phone]
378
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:09,293
So get this. I heard Megan's
doing her mitzvah project next weekend.
379
00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:10,959
She's passing out sunscreen at Coachella.
380
00:17:10,959 --> 00:17:12,918
- What? Wow.
- [Stacy] So cool.
381
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:14,793
Guys, I have to come up
with something amazing.
382
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,126
This is so much pressure.
383
00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:19,626
How long do you think it takes to become
a social activist influencer on TikTok?
384
00:17:19,626 --> 00:17:21,126
Uh, six months?
385
00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:22,501
Too long. [sighing]
386
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,459
You know what?
We just need to chill our brains.
387
00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,959
What are you doing Saturday?
My mom's out of town this weekend.
388
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,293
Why? You gonna throw a party?
389
00:17:29,293 --> 00:17:30,334
A dork party?
390
00:17:30,334 --> 00:17:31,584
[all chuckling]
391
00:17:32,543 --> 00:17:33,501
What if I did?
392
00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:36,168
Well, I mean, my dad's out of town.
393
00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:38,209
Now, you could actually throw a party.
394
00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:41,209
You could invite the whole seventh grade
and not exclude anybody.
395
00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:45,543
Oh, come on. Wouldn't it be fun to exclude
people instead of being excluded for once?
396
00:17:45,543 --> 00:17:47,709
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
397
00:17:59,418 --> 00:18:00,459
[Andy] Heads up!
398
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:01,918
- [Stacy grunting]
- [all gasping]
399
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,418
[Lydia] Ay dios mío.
400
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:06,209
Stace, Stace, Stace, Stace? Are you okay?
401
00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:08,001
- [kids gasping]
- Oh shit.
402
00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:09,459
That doesn't look good.
403
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:10,834
You have grass in your hair.
404
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,084
[Mateo] Stacy.
405
00:18:12,084 --> 00:18:13,334
Are you okay?
406
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:14,668
[Andy] That's my bad!
407
00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:16,793
[dreamy music playing]
408
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:17,834
You good?
409
00:18:22,459 --> 00:18:23,626
Yeah. Sorry about that.
410
00:18:28,918 --> 00:18:30,501
- Have some water.
- [music stops]
411
00:18:32,584 --> 00:18:33,959
Oh my God. That was perfect.
412
00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:35,293
He went... And then you went.
413
00:18:35,293 --> 00:18:37,626
- You guys are meant to be.
- [Stacy chuckling]
414
00:18:37,626 --> 00:18:39,543
Hey, are your legs okay, Nikki?
415
00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:42,501
They're fine, Mateo. Just relax.
416
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,584
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
417
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,293
[kids clamoring]
418
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,376
[indistinct chatter]
419
00:18:52,543 --> 00:18:53,376
[Lydia] Really?
420
00:18:53,376 --> 00:18:57,168
Oh, by the way, Dad invited
the dry cleaner to the Bat Mitzvah, Stacy.
421
00:18:57,168 --> 00:18:58,876
What? No, that's so unfair.
422
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:02,376
The ratio to old people to normal people
is already so unbalanced.
423
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,959
Why is that kid Mateo going
to Hebrew school?
424
00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:09,251
Maybe he wanted to convert
and take some Jewish holidays off?
425
00:19:09,251 --> 00:19:10,668
[all chuckling]
426
00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:12,168
[Lydia] You gonna invite him, Stace?
427
00:19:12,168 --> 00:19:13,709
Mateo? No, I barely know him.
428
00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:16,084
You know, if you invite Mateo,
Andy might come.
429
00:19:16,084 --> 00:19:19,001
[electronic music playing over radio]
430
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,918
[vocalizing]
431
00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:22,543
Have fun learning!
432
00:19:22,543 --> 00:19:24,251
Love you!
433
00:19:24,251 --> 00:19:26,334
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
434
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:27,668
Oh shit!
435
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,084
[Schmuley yelling]
436
00:19:30,084 --> 00:19:31,293
Are you on dru--
437
00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:33,376
[both] Take me to your best friend's house
438
00:19:33,376 --> 00:19:37,709
Goin' round this roundabout, oh yeah
439
00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,334
- [boy] Thank you.
- [Lydia] Good job, guys.
440
00:19:41,918 --> 00:19:43,043
- Manishmah.
- Hi.
441
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:44,626
- Shalom, you two.
- Shalom.
442
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:47,459
[Lydia] Oh, this looks really good.
I am not that creative...
443
00:19:47,459 --> 00:19:49,501
I was not good at arts and crafts,
like, at all.
444
00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:51,293
- I like your outfit, Ashley.
- Thank you.
445
00:19:51,293 --> 00:19:52,584
Oh yeah, it's really cute.
446
00:19:52,584 --> 00:19:54,793
[girl] Look who's coming out
of the make out closet.
447
00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:56,418
[Stacy] Oh my God,
were they hooking up in there?
448
00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:59,626
How do they not get caught?
There's literally so many people around.
449
00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:05,126
Would you believe when I was your age,
I was in a Jewish rock and roll band?
450
00:20:05,126 --> 00:20:10,084
We called ourselves Exodus
because Genesis was already taken.
451
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,293
I'm sorry, Aaron, am I boring you?
452
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:14,709
[Aaron] What? No--
I was listening, Cantor Jerry.
453
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:15,834
[Nikki] Stace, Lyd!
454
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:16,959
[upbeat music playing]
455
00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:19,251
- You look so cute. You guys good?
- [Nikki] Yes.
456
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,001
- The pole!
- Pole!
457
00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,543
Oh, wait, how's your Torah portion going?
458
00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:25,334
It's like 6,000 pages long.
459
00:20:25,334 --> 00:20:28,001
Why did my parents pick
the third week of August?
460
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:31,709
But mine's literally, like, a minute
and a half long. Thank you, June 10th!
461
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:35,043
Chop-chop, ladies! Curtain's up in five!
462
00:20:35,043 --> 00:20:38,959
I like to think of Hebrew school
as a little performance I give.
463
00:20:38,959 --> 00:20:42,709
Your prayer book is the playbill,
and I'm the star, cutie-pops.
464
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:43,626
[girls giggling]
465
00:20:43,626 --> 00:20:46,751
Giving you a bit of the ole razzle-dazzle.
You know what I'm saying?
466
00:20:46,751 --> 00:20:48,668
Kidding. Come one, class is starting.
Let's go!
467
00:20:48,668 --> 00:20:49,834
[girl 2] Rabbi Rebecca!
468
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,126
- Can we please have snacks?
- You want some latkes and gefilte fish?
469
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,126
She's insane.
470
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,584
I know. I love her. [giggling]
471
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,918
"And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle."
472
00:20:56,918 --> 00:20:58,334
- Very nice.
- Very good.
473
00:20:58,334 --> 00:20:59,751
Thank you. Thank you very much.
474
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:00,876
[indistinct chatter]
475
00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:03,168
- Is she serious? Oh my God.
- I know, right?
476
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:06,001
I really want a cloud.
Like, I want to taste a cloud.
477
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:08,376
- You want what?
- I want to taste a cloud.
478
00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:09,876
I want to taste a cloud. That's all.
479
00:21:09,876 --> 00:21:11,834
- [Lydia] It seems--
- [Andy] Yo. You good, bro?
480
00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:16,918
Yeah. Why?
481
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:19,084
Uh, your head from earlier.
482
00:21:19,084 --> 00:21:20,459
Head injuries are no joke.
483
00:21:20,459 --> 00:21:23,209
One time I barfed at soccer
from a concussion.
484
00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:25,376
Did you barf?
485
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:27,834
No. I didn't.
486
00:21:28,334 --> 00:21:29,251
Tight.
487
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,418
- All right, shabbat shalom!
- [class] Shabbat shalom.
488
00:21:36,418 --> 00:21:39,709
[Rebecca] How's everyone feeling?
We having the time of our lives right now?
489
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:41,709
You guys start your mitzvah projects yet?
490
00:21:41,709 --> 00:21:43,584
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
491
00:21:43,584 --> 00:21:47,668
No? It's the most important part
of this whole thing.
492
00:21:47,668 --> 00:21:53,001
It's when you do something menschie
for your community, for society at-large.
493
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:56,084
What? You guys don't care
about society at-large?
494
00:21:56,084 --> 00:21:57,959
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
495
00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:02,626
All right, how about we pick up where
we left off with our old buddy, David.
496
00:22:02,626 --> 00:22:03,751
Remember him?
497
00:22:03,751 --> 00:22:08,584
Homeboy was about to get his groove on
with the foxy Bathsheba
498
00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:11,001
even though she was married
to someone else.
499
00:22:11,001 --> 00:22:13,543
[scoffing] What a snake David is!
500
00:22:13,543 --> 00:22:14,709
You a snake, Aaron?
501
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,001
N-no.
502
00:22:17,001 --> 00:22:19,209
You ever pull something like that?
Cheat on your wife?
503
00:22:21,584 --> 00:22:25,668
- M-me?
- Dude, I'm messing around with you. Relax!
504
00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:27,876
You're sweating, my goodness.
505
00:22:27,876 --> 00:22:29,876
You're not a snake, Aaron. You're awesome.
506
00:22:29,876 --> 00:22:31,959
Look at that arm hair
and mustache coming in strong.
507
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,959
Baruch HaShem, Aaron. Let's go.
508
00:22:33,959 --> 00:22:35,709
[class giggling]
509
00:22:36,418 --> 00:22:38,459
["Monte Carlo" by Remi Wolf playing]
510
00:22:40,376 --> 00:22:42,709
[Gabi] So I told the sales lady,
"I'll take one in each color."
511
00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:45,668
And she said, "Are you getting a divorce?"
And I said, "How'd you guess?"
512
00:22:48,251 --> 00:22:49,418
That's really funny, Mom.
513
00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:52,709
Hey, can you let me bring over some people
on Saturday?
514
00:22:52,709 --> 00:22:53,918
Oh sure. Like a playdate?
515
00:22:53,918 --> 00:22:57,876
A playdate? Mom, I'm 13.
Please don't call it a playdate.
516
00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:58,793
[cell phone ringing]
517
00:22:58,793 --> 00:23:00,918
My dad's calling me. Hi!
518
00:23:00,918 --> 00:23:03,418
Hey! Stacels.
Hey, I'm at the store right now.
519
00:23:03,418 --> 00:23:05,793
Mommy told me you need some, uh, tampons...
520
00:23:05,793 --> 00:23:08,126
- But I'm not sure what size you use--
- Stop. Get whatever.
521
00:23:08,126 --> 00:23:10,001
[Danny] There's a lot of whatever
to choose from.
522
00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:11,376
Do pads. I don't care.
523
00:23:11,376 --> 00:23:12,918
What kind of flow do you got going?
524
00:23:12,918 --> 00:23:14,709
- Uh, heavy flow situation?
- Heavy.
525
00:23:14,709 --> 00:23:16,751
- Oh my God.
- A light flow? Or extra chunky?
526
00:23:16,751 --> 00:23:19,543
I... I... I got confused.
I'm getting peanut butter also.
527
00:23:19,543 --> 00:23:22,709
- [Stacy] I mean--
- Mommy said it was a high-alert situation?
528
00:23:22,709 --> 00:23:24,501
That you might have to sleep
in the bathtub?
529
00:23:24,501 --> 00:23:26,334
I'll drop 'em off
in your room immediately.
530
00:23:26,334 --> 00:23:27,834
Oh my God. Love you. Bye.
531
00:23:31,626 --> 00:23:34,584
"Hey, Lyd, it's Kym.
Having people over now."
532
00:23:34,584 --> 00:23:36,043
"Pull up if you're free."
533
00:23:36,543 --> 00:23:37,376
Wow.
534
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,959
Um, what do I say?
535
00:23:40,959 --> 00:23:42,293
Do you want to go?
536
00:23:44,168 --> 00:23:45,043
No.
537
00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:49,459
But, I mean, I should respond.
538
00:23:49,459 --> 00:23:52,543
Yeah. For sure.
Uh, if you want to go, I don't care.
539
00:23:52,543 --> 00:23:55,459
I just think they're awful,
but it's your choice.
540
00:23:56,626 --> 00:23:58,793
- Let me ask if you can come.
- No. Please don't do that.
541
00:23:58,793 --> 00:24:02,334
Yeah, I'm gonna ask. Doing it right now.
Look, I just did it. Whoops. Sorry.
542
00:24:08,001 --> 00:24:09,168
[both screaming]
543
00:24:09,168 --> 00:24:13,126
Oh my God! Okay, Mom, can you drop us off
at Kym Chang-Cohen's house, please?
544
00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:15,751
- Wait. Can you stop by my place first?
- [Gabi] Sure.
545
00:24:15,751 --> 00:24:18,709
- [mouthing] Period.
- You gonna ask if Tara and Nikki can come?
546
00:24:18,709 --> 00:24:19,793
[Lydia] Oh.
547
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:23,501
Oh. Um, I mean, I don't think so.
548
00:24:23,501 --> 00:24:25,418
Bringing three people
would be, like, a lot.
549
00:24:25,418 --> 00:24:26,876
- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah.
550
00:24:27,501 --> 00:24:28,501
[Lydia squealing]
551
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:29,834
[both vocalizing]
552
00:24:29,834 --> 00:24:32,626
- [both laughing]
- You can't go now.
553
00:24:32,626 --> 00:24:34,126
[upbeat music playing]
554
00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:38,543
Okay. Hurry.
555
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:39,751
- Hi, Ron.
- [Ronnie] Hi.
556
00:24:39,751 --> 00:24:42,209
- Should I wear a jacket with this?
- No. Where are you going?
557
00:24:42,209 --> 00:24:43,626
Kym Chang-Cohen's.
558
00:24:43,626 --> 00:24:46,751
Oh wow. First rule of going
to a cool kid's house, don't disagree.
559
00:24:46,751 --> 00:24:47,709
Don't get too excited.
560
00:24:47,709 --> 00:24:48,793
- Got it. Thanks.
- Cool.
561
00:24:48,793 --> 00:24:50,418
[Ronnie] Oh, Dad left pads on your bed.
562
00:24:50,418 --> 00:24:52,918
They're enormous.
I almost thought they were pillows.
563
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:53,918
Are you joking?
564
00:24:53,918 --> 00:24:55,793
[Lydia laughing] That's funny.
565
00:24:55,793 --> 00:24:58,918
["Valley of the Dolls"
by Santigold playing]
566
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,334
[Lydia squealing] Oh my God.
567
00:25:04,334 --> 00:25:06,793
[Stacy] Remember.
Don't disagree. Don't get too excited.
568
00:25:07,293 --> 00:25:11,459
[cell phones beeping, chiming]
569
00:25:12,918 --> 00:25:14,959
[inaudible]
570
00:25:17,293 --> 00:25:19,459
So, Lydia, any crushes?
571
00:25:20,751 --> 00:25:22,334
Oh, uh...
572
00:25:23,084 --> 00:25:26,626
No, not really. There's not a lot
of options for boys in our grade.
573
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,418
- You know?
- [both chuckling awkwardly]
574
00:25:29,459 --> 00:25:31,376
Oh, so you only like boys?
575
00:25:31,376 --> 00:25:33,584
Uh, I think so.
576
00:25:33,584 --> 00:25:35,501
Don't worry. Some of us are straight too.
577
00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:36,584
Cool.
578
00:25:37,376 --> 00:25:38,709
I don't disagree.
579
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,709
Yeah, Stacy, what about you?
580
00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:46,334
Who do you like?
581
00:25:47,668 --> 00:25:49,793
Uh, no one, really.
582
00:25:53,543 --> 00:25:57,543
Uh, people are coming to my house tomorrow
if you want to come. Nothing big.
583
00:25:57,543 --> 00:25:58,668
Sounds chill.
584
00:25:59,251 --> 00:26:01,334
You guys have to come.
It'll be freaking amazing!
585
00:26:01,334 --> 00:26:02,793
Her house is so cool.
586
00:26:06,293 --> 00:26:07,834
I mean, it'll be a'ight.
587
00:26:07,834 --> 00:26:11,751
[clearing throat] Uh, anyways, we should
probably wash this off before we go.
588
00:26:11,751 --> 00:26:14,751
- Uh, we have to change before we leave.
- Where are we going?
589
00:26:14,751 --> 00:26:16,251
To the ledge.
590
00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:19,459
[girls chattering indistinctly]
591
00:26:22,459 --> 00:26:24,293
- No way.
- We'll be careful.
592
00:26:24,293 --> 00:26:25,501
I don't want to die.
593
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,293
- We have to. We can't disagree.
- What?
594
00:26:27,293 --> 00:26:28,376
Don't act excited!
595
00:26:28,376 --> 00:26:29,876
[Kym] Andy will be there.
596
00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:35,709
Come on, Lydia, can't you do this for me?
597
00:26:35,709 --> 00:26:37,876
I already got you invited here.
Isn't that enough?
598
00:26:40,459 --> 00:26:41,834
I didn't mean it like that.
599
00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:43,376
You guys coming or what?
600
00:26:43,376 --> 00:26:44,626
Yeah, I'm down.
601
00:26:46,584 --> 00:26:48,584
["Obxessed" by Fire Choir playing]
602
00:26:55,918 --> 00:26:58,293
[girls chattering indistinctly]
603
00:26:58,293 --> 00:27:00,043
♪ It's irresistible ♪
604
00:27:00,043 --> 00:27:02,418
♪ I'm so stuck on you ♪
605
00:27:03,334 --> 00:27:06,418
Ugh, my mom said I have to wait a year
before I can get lip filler.
606
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:08,793
She said you can have Botox.
Just use that on your lips.
607
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:09,709
[girl] Yeah.
608
00:27:11,418 --> 00:27:13,418
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
609
00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:16,793
[both squealing quietly]
610
00:27:18,626 --> 00:27:20,043
Look who's here!
611
00:27:20,043 --> 00:27:21,834
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
612
00:27:22,334 --> 00:27:24,959
["Nikes On" by Healy playing]
613
00:27:25,543 --> 00:27:28,334
♪ What's a feeling
Without someone to feel it? ♪
614
00:27:28,334 --> 00:27:31,293
♪ What's appealing?
Sleep in on the weekend ♪
615
00:27:31,293 --> 00:27:34,001
♪ Home solo, spinning on the ceiling ♪
616
00:27:34,709 --> 00:27:36,251
♪ And every day is the same ♪
617
00:27:36,251 --> 00:27:39,001
♪ When the name of the game's
Break sweat to break even ♪
618
00:27:39,001 --> 00:27:40,001
[song stops]
619
00:27:40,001 --> 00:27:41,376
[Andy] What up, what up?
620
00:27:43,501 --> 00:27:44,501
What's good?
621
00:27:45,793 --> 00:27:46,626
Hi, Stacy.
622
00:27:47,418 --> 00:27:48,251
Hey, Mateo.
623
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:51,584
Yo, we just had soccer,
and we kicked St. Catherine's ass, 3-0.
624
00:27:51,584 --> 00:27:53,001
Even though their field sucks.
625
00:27:53,001 --> 00:27:55,334
Yeah, that field is so lopsided.
626
00:27:57,084 --> 00:27:58,043
Exactly.
627
00:27:58,834 --> 00:27:59,668
Uh,
628
00:28:00,293 --> 00:28:01,293
how's your head?
629
00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:08,918
It's, um... it's still on her body, so...
630
00:28:09,501 --> 00:28:10,668
Yeah, we love that.
631
00:28:10,668 --> 00:28:13,209
And I'm not barfing, so, yeah.
632
00:28:14,876 --> 00:28:15,876
[Mateo chuckling]
633
00:28:15,876 --> 00:28:17,959
Uh, anyways...
634
00:28:18,876 --> 00:28:20,293
What's up? I'm Andy.
635
00:28:20,293 --> 00:28:23,334
Uh, I know. We, uh...
we go to Hebrew school together. Lydia.
636
00:28:23,334 --> 00:28:24,626
We do?
637
00:28:24,626 --> 00:28:25,918
Yeah.
638
00:28:27,376 --> 00:28:29,543
[Aaron] I dare one of you guys to jump in!
639
00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:31,001
Come on! Let's go.
640
00:28:31,001 --> 00:28:32,293
[Mateo] Jump off the ledge, Aaron?
641
00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:34,959
You'd break both legs on impact
and your spine.
642
00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:36,876
Yeah, I heard
Melissa Quinto's cousin jumped,
643
00:28:36,876 --> 00:28:39,334
and she now has to text
with her nose, so, no.
644
00:28:39,334 --> 00:28:41,209
Looks like it might be fun.
645
00:28:41,209 --> 00:28:42,751
[tense music playing]
646
00:28:42,751 --> 00:28:44,668
Hey, I'd jump
if I didn't have my contacts in.
647
00:28:44,668 --> 00:28:47,168
Oh, I'd be happy
to hold them for you, Aaron.
648
00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:49,251
[all laughing]
649
00:28:50,709 --> 00:28:53,751
Oh shit. You can't see.
650
00:28:53,751 --> 00:28:55,418
[tense music swelling]
651
00:28:56,459 --> 00:28:57,293
I'll do it.
652
00:28:58,626 --> 00:28:59,459
What?
653
00:29:00,584 --> 00:29:01,668
[Andy] You'd jump in?
654
00:29:01,668 --> 00:29:03,959
That... that's sick.
655
00:29:03,959 --> 00:29:05,126
Let's see it.
656
00:29:05,126 --> 00:29:07,459
[upbeat electronic music playing]
657
00:29:07,459 --> 00:29:08,376
Okay.
658
00:29:09,043 --> 00:29:10,834
- No way, no way.
- Oh shit.
659
00:29:10,834 --> 00:29:12,751
[Aaron] If she jumps, it's my idea, guys.
660
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,793
[boy] We don't know if that's shallow.
661
00:29:14,793 --> 00:29:16,876
[kids murmuring]
662
00:29:32,043 --> 00:29:34,418
- She's not gonna do it.
- She's not gonna do it.
663
00:29:34,418 --> 00:29:36,751
- If she dies, we weren't here.
- Hell no.
664
00:29:36,751 --> 00:29:39,043
- [girl] She's a scaredy-cat.
- [boy] She's stalling.
665
00:29:39,584 --> 00:29:42,834
Stacy, you said we'd be careful. Please.
666
00:29:43,334 --> 00:29:44,251
Is Andy watching?
667
00:29:45,876 --> 00:29:47,543
[indistinct chatter]
668
00:29:47,543 --> 00:29:49,168
Everyone is watching!
669
00:29:50,584 --> 00:29:53,709
Friedman! Yo, you got this! Let's go!
670
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:54,626
[kids cheering]
671
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,668
- [Andy] Let's get it!
- Stacy, do not do this to me.
672
00:29:56,668 --> 00:30:00,293
If you die, your parents will kill me.
I swear to God. Stacy! No!
673
00:30:00,293 --> 00:30:01,959
- [music stops]
- [inaudible]
674
00:30:09,668 --> 00:30:12,168
- Oh my God!
- Holy shit!
675
00:30:12,168 --> 00:30:13,834
- My God!
- Oh my God!
676
00:30:16,876 --> 00:30:18,043
[kids clamoring]
677
00:30:18,043 --> 00:30:19,251
[Lydia] Stacy!
678
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:21,209
- Stacy!
- Oh shit!
679
00:30:22,084 --> 00:30:23,751
[girl] That was unreal!
680
00:30:26,043 --> 00:30:28,001
- [boy] Stacy!
- Woohoo!
681
00:30:28,001 --> 00:30:29,084
[Stacy gasping]
682
00:30:29,084 --> 00:30:30,709
- That was my idea!
- Yo, shut up!
683
00:30:30,709 --> 00:30:33,293
Yo, Stacy Friedman!
684
00:30:33,293 --> 00:30:35,584
You're a fricken' legend!
685
00:30:35,584 --> 00:30:37,543
That's how I do it!
686
00:30:38,126 --> 00:30:40,168
[kids chattering indistinctly]
687
00:30:40,168 --> 00:30:41,876
What is that?
688
00:30:42,376 --> 00:30:43,751
[kids quieting]
689
00:30:44,584 --> 00:30:46,584
[dramatic music playing]
690
00:30:47,751 --> 00:30:50,084
[Andy] Oh, disgusting.
691
00:30:50,084 --> 00:30:53,626
Yo, Stacy just turned the ledge
into the Red Sea.
692
00:30:53,626 --> 00:30:55,459
[kids laughing]
693
00:30:58,876 --> 00:30:59,834
[Anya] Chill out.
694
00:30:59,834 --> 00:31:01,876
It's just a period, guys.
It happens every month.
695
00:31:01,876 --> 00:31:03,334
That looks like two months.
696
00:31:03,334 --> 00:31:05,376
You couldn't deal
with having a period, Aaron.
697
00:31:05,376 --> 00:31:06,459
Yeah, you punk.
698
00:31:06,459 --> 00:31:08,001
Wait, what'd I even do?
699
00:31:08,584 --> 00:31:10,376
[kids chuckling]
700
00:31:10,376 --> 00:31:11,584
[Stacy exhaling]
701
00:31:12,084 --> 00:31:14,084
[scattered chuckling]
702
00:31:20,543 --> 00:31:22,251
Thanks for laughing with everyone.
703
00:31:23,418 --> 00:31:24,751
I wasn't laughing.
704
00:31:24,751 --> 00:31:26,126
Yes, you were.
705
00:31:26,126 --> 00:31:28,959
Stacy, it's not that big of a deal.
Just take my sweatshirt.
706
00:31:28,959 --> 00:31:31,876
Not a big deal? That was humiliating!
Andy looked at me like--
707
00:31:31,876 --> 00:31:34,251
You're a badass!
That's all anyone was thinking.
708
00:31:34,251 --> 00:31:36,668
No, whatever. I'm over him.
709
00:31:38,501 --> 00:31:39,668
Call it.
710
00:31:39,668 --> 00:31:42,293
- Stacy, think this through.
- I did. Call it.
711
00:31:42,918 --> 00:31:43,751
[Lydia scoffing]
712
00:31:46,126 --> 00:31:47,209
5:23.
713
00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:50,793
Stacy Friedman's crush
on Andy Goldfarb has ended.
714
00:31:50,793 --> 00:31:54,084
Time of death, 5:23 p.m.
715
00:31:54,084 --> 00:31:55,834
Okay, let's just go.
716
00:31:55,834 --> 00:31:57,793
No, you just stay with your new friends.
717
00:31:57,793 --> 00:31:59,418
What? What are you talking about?
718
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,751
Oh my God, stop! You didn't have my back.
Just admit it!
719
00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:04,376
You stop. I told you not to jump.
I didn't even want to be here.
720
00:32:04,376 --> 00:32:06,751
Only because you already got them
to come to your party!
721
00:32:06,751 --> 00:32:10,168
- You're being so dramatic right now!
- You're such a wannabe right now!
722
00:32:11,793 --> 00:32:13,376
I'm freezing. I'm gonna go.
723
00:32:13,376 --> 00:32:16,126
Wow, Stacy. I can't even.
724
00:32:16,126 --> 00:32:17,626
I can't even, even more.
725
00:32:17,626 --> 00:32:19,709
[somber music playing]
726
00:32:20,501 --> 00:32:21,543
[music fades]
727
00:32:21,543 --> 00:32:22,751
[Danny] What you gonna do, sweets?
728
00:32:22,751 --> 00:32:24,459
[Bree] Sending out the invitations today.
729
00:32:24,459 --> 00:32:27,168
I have to get my hair dyed--
Oh, will you call DJ Schmuley?
730
00:32:27,168 --> 00:32:29,918
He's asking for a green room and per diem.
731
00:32:29,918 --> 00:32:31,834
And he may or may not have hit on me.
732
00:32:31,834 --> 00:32:33,751
Well, I may or may not punch him
in the face.
733
00:32:33,751 --> 00:32:35,751
- Yeah, okay. [chuckling]
- Let me handle Schmuley.
734
00:32:35,751 --> 00:32:37,959
So, you, I'm going to the movies.
You want to come?
735
00:32:38,668 --> 00:32:41,209
Too weird being
at a movie theater alone with my dad.
736
00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:44,168
Okay, you never want to be with me again?
What are you gonna do all day?
737
00:32:44,168 --> 00:32:48,084
Zaara's coming over, and we're going to
online shop and then take a nap outside.
738
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:50,043
And that's not weird to you?
739
00:32:50,043 --> 00:32:52,543
We're tired from frickin' school all week!
740
00:32:53,709 --> 00:32:57,418
Honey, go have quality time with
your younger daughter who still loves you.
741
00:32:57,418 --> 00:32:58,876
- [Danny] Yeah.
- Okay? Have a good day.
742
00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:00,834
This one scares me.
743
00:33:04,043 --> 00:33:06,459
- Miss you already, Daddy!
- [Danny] Do ya? Great.
744
00:33:07,084 --> 00:33:09,084
[music playing on phone]
745
00:33:11,626 --> 00:33:13,626
[indistinct cheering, chatter on phone]
746
00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:17,584
Oh my God!
747
00:33:17,584 --> 00:33:19,876
[inaudible]
748
00:33:24,376 --> 00:33:27,668
[hip-hop music playing]
749
00:33:32,334 --> 00:33:33,376
[cell phone chiming]
750
00:33:36,459 --> 00:33:37,709
[knocking on door]
751
00:33:37,709 --> 00:33:40,293
- We ready in there, buddy?
- [Stacy] One second, Dad!
752
00:33:41,084 --> 00:33:42,251
[Stacy exhaling]
753
00:33:53,043 --> 00:33:54,376
[cell phone beeping]
754
00:33:56,459 --> 00:33:57,376
[knocking on door]
755
00:33:57,376 --> 00:33:59,918
Don't do this to me. Let's go!
756
00:33:59,918 --> 00:34:01,084
[Stacy] Coming!
757
00:34:04,668 --> 00:34:05,751
[Danny] Bubie, I'm psyched.
758
00:34:05,751 --> 00:34:08,709
I'm psyched about the popcorn.
Lots of butter.
759
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:11,459
Lots of anger after I finish it.
760
00:34:11,459 --> 00:34:14,626
- Lots of oil on my face.
- Dad, can I skip the movies?
761
00:34:14,626 --> 00:34:17,709
You wanna skip the movie? How come?
You don't want to be seen with me either?
762
00:34:17,709 --> 00:34:21,084
No, no, no. I just need to talk to Lydia.
Can you drop me at her house?
763
00:34:22,084 --> 00:34:23,168
Sure, buddy.
764
00:34:24,293 --> 00:34:26,376
What's the matter? Something bugging you?
765
00:34:27,418 --> 00:34:29,209
It'll be fine. Whatever it is.
766
00:34:31,501 --> 00:34:33,834
Here. Don't tell your mother.
Have some coffee.
767
00:34:34,418 --> 00:34:36,459
One sip... [yelling] I gotcha.
768
00:34:36,459 --> 00:34:37,709
- [laughing]
- Gotcha.
769
00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:39,709
[light music playing]
770
00:34:40,626 --> 00:34:44,709
- [Danny] All right. Have fun. I love you.
- [Stacy] Thank you. Love you.
771
00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:46,709
I'll just be all alone
at the movies,
772
00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:49,126
crying and eating a bucket
of Sour Patch Kids!
773
00:34:49,126 --> 00:34:52,084
- A'ight!
- [Danny] Okay. Text me if you need me.
774
00:34:52,084 --> 00:34:53,209
I will!
775
00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:57,293
[hip-hop music playing over stereo]
776
00:35:01,209 --> 00:35:03,293
["Past Life" by Arkellis playing]
777
00:35:08,668 --> 00:35:10,084
♪ Feeling like I'm falling ♪
778
00:35:10,084 --> 00:35:13,043
♪ I've been getting uptight
Staring at the ceiling ♪
779
00:35:13,043 --> 00:35:16,918
♪ Trying to get it just right
You know what's on mind ♪
780
00:35:16,918 --> 00:35:20,084
♪ I can't look you in the eye ♪
781
00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:23,126
♪ I'm getting on the freeway
Underneath the night sky ♪
782
00:35:23,126 --> 00:35:25,959
♪ I'm a little wallflower
Singing "One Headlight" ♪
783
00:35:25,959 --> 00:35:28,418
♪ Looking for a sign ♪
784
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:31,209
♪ Superstition made me blind ♪
785
00:35:31,209 --> 00:35:33,793
♪ I'm sick of running from a past life ♪
786
00:35:34,376 --> 00:35:36,543
♪ I don't care about the next one ♪
787
00:35:37,126 --> 00:35:39,584
♪ Right now I'm feeling like a stranger ♪
788
00:35:40,334 --> 00:35:41,959
♪ Don't recognize the voice inside my... ♪
789
00:35:41,959 --> 00:35:45,668
- [girl] Oh. Uh, Stacy, you would know.
- Uh, how do you turn on the jacuzzi jets?
790
00:35:46,251 --> 00:35:48,043
Uh, the switch is in the pantry.
791
00:35:48,043 --> 00:35:50,043
- The pantry?
- Pantry?
792
00:35:50,043 --> 00:35:52,293
[indistinct chatter]
793
00:35:54,251 --> 00:35:56,709
♪ Don't recognize the voice
Inside my head ♪
794
00:35:56,709 --> 00:35:59,126
♪ 'Cause I've been running
From a past life ♪
795
00:35:59,626 --> 00:36:02,918
♪ I wanna live
I wanna live this life instead ♪
796
00:36:07,168 --> 00:36:08,626
Oh my God.
797
00:36:13,251 --> 00:36:14,459
Oh my God.
798
00:36:21,043 --> 00:36:23,543
- [Lydia] Stacy! Stacy!
- [Aaron] Oh, snap.
799
00:36:23,543 --> 00:36:26,084
Yo, shit just got real. [chuckling]
800
00:36:27,001 --> 00:36:27,834
[Lydia] Stacy.
801
00:36:28,334 --> 00:36:29,834
Stacy, he kissed me!
802
00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:31,418
You don't even like him!
803
00:36:32,418 --> 00:36:34,459
You're like David and Bathsheba,
and you're the snake.
804
00:36:34,459 --> 00:36:36,459
- I'm sorry, okay. I--
- Stop talking!
805
00:36:36,459 --> 00:36:38,376
Let me explain? Please?
I haven't done anything.
806
00:36:38,376 --> 00:36:40,543
No! Let me explain some things to you.
807
00:36:40,543 --> 00:36:42,918
First of all, we are no longer friends.
808
00:36:42,918 --> 00:36:47,251
Second of all, I am definitely not doing
your entrance video.
809
00:36:47,876 --> 00:36:50,709
- Stacy.
- Oh! And one more thing...
810
00:36:52,209 --> 00:36:56,751
Lydia Rodriguez Katz,
you are so not invited to my Bat Mitzvah.
811
00:36:58,918 --> 00:37:01,293
Good! Have fun without me!
812
00:37:02,334 --> 00:37:03,251
[sniffling]
813
00:37:04,626 --> 00:37:05,668
[Andy laughing]
814
00:37:07,376 --> 00:37:08,584
[crying]
815
00:37:09,084 --> 00:37:11,751
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
816
00:37:12,251 --> 00:37:15,501
And what the hell?
817
00:37:16,418 --> 00:37:18,001
How could you do this to me?
818
00:37:18,001 --> 00:37:20,001
["traitor" by Olivia Rodrigo playing]
819
00:37:26,793 --> 00:37:30,834
♪ Brown guilty eyes
And little white lies ♪
820
00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:34,709
♪ Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew ♪
821
00:37:36,251 --> 00:37:40,543
♪ That you talked to her
Maybe did even worse ♪
822
00:37:40,543 --> 00:37:43,084
♪ I kept quiet so I could keep you ♪
823
00:37:43,084 --> 00:37:44,043
[Stacy sniffling]
824
00:37:45,251 --> 00:37:48,043
♪ You betrayed me ♪
825
00:37:48,043 --> 00:37:54,209
♪ And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
826
00:37:54,209 --> 00:37:55,418
Okay, bye, Stacy.
827
00:37:56,293 --> 00:37:57,209
[Zaara gasping]
828
00:37:57,209 --> 00:37:59,709
Oh, oh, Z. It's okay. Go back to bed.
829
00:37:59,709 --> 00:38:02,418
- [Zaara moaning]
- You're fine. I promise. You're fine.
830
00:38:02,918 --> 00:38:04,918
- ♪ But that didn't matter ♪
- [inaudible]
831
00:38:04,918 --> 00:38:09,709
♪ It took you two weeks
To go off and date her ♪
832
00:38:09,709 --> 00:38:12,876
♪ Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor ♪
833
00:38:12,876 --> 00:38:15,334
[Nikki] Stacy, wait up. Stace, wait up.
834
00:38:15,334 --> 00:38:17,126
Are you okay? What happened?
835
00:38:17,126 --> 00:38:19,834
Yeah. Everybody keeps asking us
if you need a double-X tampon.
836
00:38:19,834 --> 00:38:22,001
- I'm fine.
- [Tara] Are you sure, Stace?
837
00:38:22,001 --> 00:38:24,626
'Cause your best friend's
dating your crush.
838
00:38:24,626 --> 00:38:26,626
They're not dating. It was just one kiss.
839
00:38:26,626 --> 00:38:28,834
Oh, I heard he touched her underboob
in PE this morning.
840
00:38:28,834 --> 00:38:30,584
- Tara...
- [scoffing] It's fine, guys.
841
00:38:30,584 --> 00:38:32,626
Junior high gossip. Never ends.
842
00:38:36,209 --> 00:38:38,543
["Riot Rhythm" by Sleigh Bells playing]
843
00:38:41,251 --> 00:38:43,251
[inaudible]
844
00:38:55,876 --> 00:38:57,834
- Okay, well, when did that start?
- [song stops]
845
00:38:58,459 --> 00:38:59,959
Her party this weekend.
846
00:39:00,543 --> 00:39:01,793
She had the party?
847
00:39:01,793 --> 00:39:03,626
Guess so. She didn't invite us.
848
00:39:03,626 --> 00:39:06,126
No surprise, because they were
awfully chummy laughing
849
00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:08,459
at my near-death experience at the ledge.
850
00:39:09,043 --> 00:39:11,043
You guys went to the ledge with Andy?
851
00:39:13,001 --> 00:39:15,251
Oh, it's just the ledge.
It was last minute.
852
00:39:15,751 --> 00:39:16,709
[Tara] Hmm.
853
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:19,793
- Come on, Tara. Let's go.
- Yeah.
854
00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:25,459
Okay, today we're going
to be talking about tikkun olam.
855
00:39:25,459 --> 00:39:26,834
Does anyone know what that means?
856
00:39:27,501 --> 00:39:28,418
Kym!
857
00:39:28,418 --> 00:39:31,001
If God exists,
then how do you explain climate change?
858
00:39:33,376 --> 00:39:35,834
It's actually an amazing question. Um--
859
00:39:35,834 --> 00:39:38,793
Yeah, and why can't straight people
get on gay TikTok? It's way funnier.
860
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:42,168
And if God loves me, then why
is he always giving me so many zits.
861
00:39:42,168 --> 00:39:44,043
And why does Apple
keep changing their chargers?
862
00:39:44,043 --> 00:39:46,376
And why did my dad's doctor operate
on the wrong shoulder?
863
00:39:46,376 --> 00:39:48,709
And why do I have to share a room
with my grandma?
864
00:39:50,376 --> 00:39:52,001
[Rebecca] Okay, okay, okay.
865
00:39:52,001 --> 00:39:56,501
I think I can explain zits
and climate change and gay TikTok.
866
00:39:56,501 --> 00:39:58,626
- [Lydia] She scares me sometimes.
- [Andy] You too?
867
00:39:58,626 --> 00:40:00,584
- [drawer closing]
- [maracas shaking]
868
00:40:00,584 --> 00:40:02,168
Musically!
869
00:40:02,168 --> 00:40:08,376
♪ If God is real, then why is there war? ♪
870
00:40:09,084 --> 00:40:12,084
♪ Why is there injustice? ♪
871
00:40:12,084 --> 00:40:14,543
♪ Why are people poor? ♪
872
00:40:15,209 --> 00:40:20,668
♪And why have I had a yeast infection ♪
873
00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:25,876
♪ for a solid 11 years? ♪
874
00:40:25,876 --> 00:40:28,626
♪ The answer is clear ♪
875
00:40:31,793 --> 00:40:33,751
- ♪ God is random ♪
- [scattered laughter]
876
00:40:33,751 --> 00:40:35,668
♪ God is random ♪
877
00:40:35,668 --> 00:40:37,251
♪ God is random sauce ♪
878
00:40:37,251 --> 00:40:38,418
Everybody!
879
00:40:38,418 --> 00:40:40,209
[all] ♪ God is random ♪
880
00:40:40,209 --> 00:40:41,834
♪ God is random ♪
881
00:40:42,334 --> 00:40:44,543
Your prayer book
is the playbill, cutie-pops...
882
00:40:44,543 --> 00:40:46,418
[clicking tongue] ...razzle-dazzle.
883
00:40:46,418 --> 00:40:47,959
[both chuckling]
884
00:40:47,959 --> 00:40:50,709
- [dramatic music playing]
- [inaudible]
885
00:41:11,376 --> 00:41:12,459
[Rebecca] Seema!
886
00:41:14,709 --> 00:41:17,334
What did Rabbi Rebecca say
about being on your phone?
887
00:41:18,251 --> 00:41:21,126
Right? Aaron knows what I'm talking about.
Come on, dude.
888
00:41:22,626 --> 00:41:24,876
- Yup, Baruch HaShem, Aaron.
- [Aaron] Yes, sir.
889
00:41:25,626 --> 00:41:27,876
- [machinery whirring]
- [rhythmic thumping]
890
00:41:31,501 --> 00:41:34,168
All right, what's going on, young lady?
891
00:41:34,168 --> 00:41:36,959
You used to be such a good,
respectful kid.
892
00:41:36,959 --> 00:41:39,834
Now, you're on your phone.
You're not practicing your portion.
893
00:41:39,834 --> 00:41:42,376
Talk to me, sis. [clapping]
What's crappenin'?
894
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:47,418
Do you know what your portion is about?
Do you understand Ki Tisa?
895
00:41:47,918 --> 00:41:50,793
Yeah. Lots of golden calf talk
and stuff like that.
896
00:41:51,918 --> 00:41:55,959
Yeah, but it's also about becoming
your own individual person.
897
00:41:55,959 --> 00:41:58,334
It's about taking responsibilities
for your mistakes.
898
00:41:58,334 --> 00:41:59,668
You know, grown-up stuff?
899
00:42:00,334 --> 00:42:01,959
Let me take a wild guess.
900
00:42:01,959 --> 00:42:04,709
You haven't started
your mitzvah project yet either, huh?
901
00:42:05,668 --> 00:42:07,209
I'm narrowing it down.
902
00:42:07,209 --> 00:42:10,584
Seema, I'm telling you,
the sooner you do your mitzvah,
903
00:42:10,584 --> 00:42:13,126
which is a good deed,
a commandment by the way,
904
00:42:13,126 --> 00:42:15,626
the sooner you'll find
things falling into place.
905
00:42:17,501 --> 00:42:19,668
Wait, so, if I do a mitzvah,
God will reward me?
906
00:42:19,668 --> 00:42:22,626
- [panting] No, not reward--
- And he'll give me what I want?
907
00:42:22,626 --> 00:42:24,251
Well, I definitely did not say that.
908
00:42:24,251 --> 00:42:26,918
No, thank you, Rabbi. You helped me
so much. I gotta get to work.
909
00:42:26,918 --> 00:42:28,043
Wait. No, no, no!
910
00:42:28,043 --> 00:42:30,126
Gotta start my journey, Rabbi Rebecca!
911
00:42:30,126 --> 00:42:31,251
Can you get me a Gatorade?
912
00:42:32,876 --> 00:42:34,876
[upbeat music playing]
913
00:42:34,876 --> 00:42:36,918
[indistinct chatter]
914
00:42:48,376 --> 00:42:50,501
- [Lydia] Hey, uh, can I sit here?
- [girl] Sure.
915
00:43:11,584 --> 00:43:12,501
Hey.
916
00:43:14,043 --> 00:43:16,168
You wouldn't happen
to know why people keep asking me
917
00:43:16,168 --> 00:43:18,543
if they can floss their teeth
with my nipple hair today,
918
00:43:18,543 --> 00:43:19,876
do you, Stacy?
919
00:43:19,876 --> 00:43:21,668
Uh, no.
920
00:43:21,668 --> 00:43:24,918
You know, seventh grade is hard enough
without people pointing and laughing at me
921
00:43:24,918 --> 00:43:28,293
whenever I walk down the hall,
screaming out, "Here, comes spider-nips."
922
00:43:28,293 --> 00:43:31,001
Better than, "Here comes Aunt Flow
and the Blood-Pads!"
923
00:43:31,001 --> 00:43:32,334
But that really happened, Stacy.
924
00:43:32,334 --> 00:43:35,293
- How do I know your nipples are hairless?
- Because you do!
925
00:43:37,334 --> 00:43:40,543
Why are you dating him?
I thought it was just one kiss?
926
00:43:41,043 --> 00:43:43,709
And stop doing Rabbi Rebecca impressions
to Andy.
927
00:43:43,709 --> 00:43:46,001
That's my impression,
you freaking ripoff artist!
928
00:43:46,001 --> 00:43:49,376
[in funny voice] And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle!
929
00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:50,293
[woman laughing]
930
00:43:50,876 --> 00:43:53,751
That sounds so much like her!
Do Cantor Jerry.
931
00:43:54,418 --> 00:43:55,459
I don't know how.
932
00:43:56,501 --> 00:43:58,668
Boo!
933
00:43:58,668 --> 00:44:02,001
- [Ronnie] Um, uh, chicken?
- Ronnie? Ronnie.
934
00:44:02,001 --> 00:44:04,584
Can you help with my mitzvah project?
I need to get on that ASAP.
935
00:44:04,584 --> 00:44:07,459
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Oh, chicken parmesan!
936
00:44:07,459 --> 00:44:08,459
Correct.
937
00:44:08,459 --> 00:44:11,334
Honey, why don't you and Lydia
do something with the homeless
938
00:44:11,334 --> 00:44:13,501
or volunteer at the animal shelter?
939
00:44:13,501 --> 00:44:16,084
Cause it’s my Bat Mitzvah
and I’m not doing my project with Lydia.
940
00:44:16,084 --> 00:44:17,251
It's a statement about me.
941
00:44:17,251 --> 00:44:19,418
Stace, that's what you said
about the egg roll piñata.
942
00:44:19,418 --> 00:44:21,084
- And the dress.
- And your hair.
943
00:44:21,084 --> 00:44:23,168
Shut up, Zaara. Why are you always here?
944
00:44:23,168 --> 00:44:24,418
- Hey.
- [camera clicking]
945
00:44:24,418 --> 00:44:27,084
Ugh! You guys don't get what this means.
Nobody does.
946
00:44:27,084 --> 00:44:29,168
[Zaara chuckling, exclaiming]
947
00:44:29,168 --> 00:44:30,959
Biggest drama queen in the room?
948
00:44:30,959 --> 00:44:33,793
- [Zaara] Correct.
- Oh my God! You're not funny.
949
00:44:33,793 --> 00:44:35,251
Girls, leave her alone.
950
00:44:40,168 --> 00:44:42,584
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
951
00:44:42,584 --> 00:44:46,709
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
952
00:44:47,209 --> 00:44:49,793
vayikra Aharon
953
00:44:50,418 --> 00:44:52,543
- Ugh. Oh my God.
- [recording continues]
954
00:44:52,543 --> 00:44:53,584
[recording stops]
955
00:44:53,584 --> 00:44:56,251
[both resuming in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
956
00:44:56,251 --> 00:44:58,334
- [recording] vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
- [Stacy slips up]
957
00:44:58,334 --> 00:45:00,209
- What the heck?
- [recording stops]
958
00:45:02,459 --> 00:45:03,668
[sighing]
959
00:45:08,084 --> 00:45:10,084
["ABCDEFU" by GAYLE playing]
960
00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:13,459
[mouse clicking]
961
00:45:18,584 --> 00:45:20,834
[Stacy, in recording] If that was you
and a boy, what would you do?
962
00:45:22,209 --> 00:45:24,001
- [Lydia kissing]
- [Stacy laughing]
963
00:45:25,459 --> 00:45:27,209
[Stacy, in recording]
Let's get a closeup of that one.
964
00:45:27,209 --> 00:45:28,584
[Lydia] Hmm. Look at that.
965
00:45:28,584 --> 00:45:30,501
- Mmm, mmm, mmm.
- [both laughing]
966
00:45:31,084 --> 00:45:32,918
[Lydia sniffing deeply, exhaling]
967
00:45:32,918 --> 00:45:36,501
- [Stacy] Why do you always do that?
- [Lydia] I like the way my feet smell!
968
00:45:36,501 --> 00:45:39,043
- She sounds like a lawnmower. So loud!
- [girls giggling]
969
00:45:42,043 --> 00:45:43,251
Did you get the full flip?
970
00:45:43,251 --> 00:45:45,918
- [Stacy] I got a full booger.
- Stop. Erase that right now, please.
971
00:45:45,918 --> 00:45:47,209
This is how I'm gonna kiss.
972
00:45:48,126 --> 00:45:50,043
We're waiting for her to pop a pimple.
973
00:45:50,043 --> 00:45:51,959
Oh my God, I think I peed myself.
974
00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:54,334
Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
975
00:45:54,334 --> 00:45:55,543
They're very dumb.
976
00:45:55,543 --> 00:45:56,959
Her real toes are hairy.
977
00:45:57,793 --> 00:45:59,209
[voices overlapping]
978
00:45:59,209 --> 00:46:01,293
[Stacy] What is the biggest lie
you've ever told?
979
00:46:01,876 --> 00:46:03,918
Have you ever farted from the front?
980
00:46:03,918 --> 00:46:06,043
- [Tara] Yeah, like your vajayjay?
- Juicy!
981
00:46:06,043 --> 00:46:08,959
- Want me to show you? I have to prepare.
- [Stacy] Yes. Let's see it.
982
00:46:08,959 --> 00:46:10,751
[Stacy] Stop. You have an exercise?
983
00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:13,126
[Stacy] No, poor Nikki.
984
00:46:13,126 --> 00:46:14,251
[girls giggling]
985
00:46:14,876 --> 00:46:15,876
[Lydia flatulating]
986
00:46:17,418 --> 00:46:19,334
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
987
00:46:19,334 --> 00:46:20,584
Wha--
988
00:46:34,126 --> 00:46:35,834
You better not show this to anyone.
989
00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,876
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone,
990
00:46:37,876 --> 00:46:39,126
I literally will murder you.
991
00:46:39,126 --> 00:46:40,793
You understand this? You understand that?
992
00:46:40,793 --> 00:46:42,918
- [Stacy] I wouldn't do that.
- [Lydia] Okay, good.
993
00:46:42,918 --> 00:46:43,876
[Stacy] Love you.
994
00:46:47,709 --> 00:46:49,918
Stop, I'm being serious.
This could be dangerous.
995
00:46:49,918 --> 00:46:51,584
[emotional music playing]
996
00:46:51,584 --> 00:46:53,459
[Danny] They're both nuts together.
997
00:46:53,459 --> 00:46:55,668
[Bree] Stacy, stop smothering Lydia.
998
00:46:55,668 --> 00:46:58,709
- [woman 2] Aw, that's nice!
- [Stacy laughing]
999
00:46:58,709 --> 00:47:02,126
Thanks for watching. Bye!
1000
00:47:11,876 --> 00:47:14,959
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
1001
00:47:14,959 --> 00:47:19,126
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
1002
00:47:19,126 --> 00:47:21,126
vayikra Aharon
1003
00:47:21,126 --> 00:47:22,418
[in frustration] My lo--
1004
00:47:22,418 --> 00:47:24,709
["Hold Me Down" by the Happy Fits playing]
1005
00:47:24,709 --> 00:47:28,793
♪ I'm here, my love
But I'm floating, baby ♪
1006
00:47:28,793 --> 00:47:31,459
♪ Hold me down tight
When I'm losing my mind... ♪
1007
00:47:31,459 --> 00:47:32,459
[crowd cheering]
1008
00:47:32,459 --> 00:47:37,126
Oh yeah! Mazel tov to Benjamin!
1009
00:47:37,126 --> 00:47:38,876
[all cheering]
1010
00:47:38,876 --> 00:47:40,376
[Aaron] Schmule--
1011
00:47:41,001 --> 00:47:42,043
Hey, Schmuley!
1012
00:47:42,626 --> 00:47:43,626
What, what, what?
1013
00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:46,209
Can you play
"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey?
1014
00:47:47,459 --> 00:47:50,793
Whoa. What a deep cut.
1015
00:47:50,793 --> 00:47:55,459
Get out of here with that shit!
Let Schmuley handle the vibe around here!
1016
00:47:55,459 --> 00:47:57,668
["Wolves" by Selena Gomez playing]
1017
00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:02,418
Make some noise, party people!
1018
00:48:09,418 --> 00:48:10,959
♪ To get to you ♪
1019
00:48:16,959 --> 00:48:19,126
- [woman] Oh. Yeah.
- It's too loud in here.
1020
00:48:19,126 --> 00:48:23,543
You know, we didn't have to suffer with
these Bat Mitzvahs when we were your age.
1021
00:48:23,543 --> 00:48:27,709
We just celebrated with our families,
and poof, you're a woman.
1022
00:48:27,709 --> 00:48:29,709
- Yeah.
- Girls didn't have Bat Mitzvahs?
1023
00:48:29,709 --> 00:48:33,876
My mother told me girls were born
into God's kingdom, so we didn't have to.
1024
00:48:34,584 --> 00:48:37,293
She was full of it.
She was just trying to save money.
1025
00:48:37,293 --> 00:48:39,168
[all laughing]
1026
00:48:39,168 --> 00:48:41,793
[girl screaming]
1027
00:48:43,501 --> 00:48:44,501
Go. Just go.
1028
00:48:45,959 --> 00:48:49,001
Man, that's all-time.
You ever seen Evil Dead 2?
1029
00:48:49,001 --> 00:48:51,584
- Yeah, we saw it. It was weak.
- Yeah, just like you two.
1030
00:48:51,584 --> 00:48:53,918
Ugh. Could you
just let us watch our movie?
1031
00:48:54,668 --> 00:48:55,709
Okay.
1032
00:48:55,709 --> 00:48:58,376
♪ I've been running with the wolves
To get to you ♪
1033
00:48:58,376 --> 00:48:59,626
[both snickering]
1034
00:48:59,626 --> 00:49:01,709
["Hava Nagila" playing]
1035
00:49:01,709 --> 00:49:03,793
[crowd clapping rhythmically]
1036
00:49:07,209 --> 00:49:08,918
[Stacy chuckling]
1037
00:49:13,043 --> 00:49:14,126
[Danny] What's going on?
1038
00:49:14,126 --> 00:49:16,084
Why are you hanging out
with us old people right now?
1039
00:49:16,084 --> 00:49:19,126
- Why are you not with your friends?
- I have a stomach ache.
1040
00:49:19,126 --> 00:49:22,418
You have a stomach ache?
All right. I'll get you a ginger ale.
1041
00:49:23,084 --> 00:49:25,709
You're not hot. You feel fine.
1042
00:49:27,168 --> 00:49:28,876
You don't have a stomach ache.
1043
00:49:30,501 --> 00:49:33,084
How come you're not hanging out
with Lydia tonight?
1044
00:49:33,084 --> 00:49:34,126
She betrayed me.
1045
00:49:34,126 --> 00:49:37,459
She kissed my crush,
and then he touched her underboob in PE.
1046
00:49:37,459 --> 00:49:39,459
- Oh.
- Oy, underboob.
1047
00:49:39,459 --> 00:49:41,751
Oh, I got plenty of that.
1048
00:49:41,751 --> 00:49:45,251
Underboob, overboob,
sideboob, behindboob, I got all of it.
1049
00:49:45,251 --> 00:49:46,543
Oh.
1050
00:49:46,543 --> 00:49:48,751
You know, bubelah, when I was young,
1051
00:49:48,751 --> 00:49:52,418
my best friend Susie Rebenstock
and I fought over a boy,
1052
00:49:52,418 --> 00:49:54,168
and I stopped talking to her.
1053
00:49:54,168 --> 00:49:57,251
Fifty years later,
I ran into her brother at Zabar's.
1054
00:49:57,251 --> 00:50:00,126
Turns out,
she threw herself off a roof at 32.
1055
00:50:00,126 --> 00:50:03,084
I let a stupid boy come between us,
1056
00:50:03,084 --> 00:50:05,876
and now she's lying dead
at the bottom of the Chrysler Building.
1057
00:50:05,876 --> 00:50:07,293
Oh my God.
1058
00:50:07,293 --> 00:50:10,209
- It was McDonald's.
- Whatever! You get my point.
1059
00:50:10,709 --> 00:50:13,418
All I'm saying is we girls
have to stick together!
1060
00:50:13,418 --> 00:50:14,668
- Yeah.
- Hear, hear.
1061
00:50:14,668 --> 00:50:16,751
["Hot Girl Bummer" by Blackbear playing]
1062
00:50:20,293 --> 00:50:22,293
[all whimpering]
1063
00:50:23,751 --> 00:50:24,709
Megan!
1064
00:50:26,418 --> 00:50:29,001
Okay. Here, Tatala, huh?
1065
00:50:29,001 --> 00:50:30,543
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1066
00:50:30,543 --> 00:50:31,834
- Hiya, ladies.
- Hello.
1067
00:50:31,834 --> 00:50:33,501
- [Danny] Hey, hey.
- And gentleman.
1068
00:50:33,501 --> 00:50:34,793
[Danny chuckling]
1069
00:50:34,793 --> 00:50:36,251
Mind if I take your extra rolls?
1070
00:50:36,251 --> 00:50:38,626
I'm making up a plate
for Andy Goldfarb's grandmother.
1071
00:50:38,626 --> 00:50:40,001
Oh, that's nice.
1072
00:50:40,001 --> 00:50:42,084
- What a respectful boy you are.
- That's sweet.
1073
00:50:42,084 --> 00:50:43,709
- Here's some basketball rolls.
- Gracias.
1074
00:50:43,709 --> 00:50:46,168
Wait, why are you making a plate
for Andy's grandma?
1075
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:48,334
She only gets Jell-O
at her retirement home.
1076
00:50:48,334 --> 00:50:52,376
I thought that I'd get real food for Andy
to bring to her when he visits tomorrow.
1077
00:50:52,376 --> 00:50:54,584
Wait, Andy's grandma's
in a retirement home?
1078
00:50:55,543 --> 00:50:56,626
That's awesome.
1079
00:50:57,334 --> 00:50:58,876
Wait, why is that awesome?
1080
00:50:58,876 --> 00:51:00,959
[upbeat music playing]
1081
00:51:21,418 --> 00:51:22,918
Ooh! The bookies are here!
1082
00:51:22,918 --> 00:51:24,084
[Stacy shushing]
1083
00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:35,084
Andy? Oh, hey!
1084
00:51:35,959 --> 00:51:36,793
Yo.
1085
00:51:38,876 --> 00:51:40,418
What are you doing here?
1086
00:51:40,418 --> 00:51:42,376
I'm just visiting my grandma.
1087
00:51:42,376 --> 00:51:46,376
She's taking a nap right now,
so I got to sit here till I get picked up.
1088
00:51:46,376 --> 00:51:48,584
It's so sweet that you visit her.
1089
00:51:48,584 --> 00:51:51,876
Yeah, my moms say
they'll take away my Xbox if I don't. So...
1090
00:51:53,501 --> 00:51:54,584
So...
1091
00:51:55,918 --> 00:51:57,793
Are you excited about your Bar Mitzvah?
1092
00:51:57,793 --> 00:51:59,334
Yeah, it should be all right.
1093
00:51:59,334 --> 00:52:00,834
That's dope.
1094
00:52:03,793 --> 00:52:06,959
Yeah, but Lydia, she's being all salty
1095
00:52:06,959 --> 00:52:09,876
'cause she has to miss
some dumb dance competition to go.
1096
00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:11,459
Ugh. I hate how competitive she is.
1097
00:52:11,459 --> 00:52:14,126
It's just like,
why can't it be about the dancing?
1098
00:52:14,126 --> 00:52:17,709
Well, I mean, I play soccer,
and soccer is pretty competitive.
1099
00:52:17,709 --> 00:52:21,584
Uh, well, soccer's a sport.
Dance is an art.
1100
00:52:23,043 --> 00:52:24,251
Facts.
1101
00:52:24,834 --> 00:52:25,918
Real talk.
1102
00:52:26,543 --> 00:52:28,168
[cell phone vibrating] Andy Goldfarb.
1103
00:52:28,168 --> 00:52:30,543
Um, yeah. Uber's here. Gotta bounce.
1104
00:52:30,543 --> 00:52:32,584
Okay. So nice running into you.
1105
00:52:32,584 --> 00:52:33,876
Yeah, cool.
1106
00:52:37,001 --> 00:52:38,543
- Hey.
- Yo!
1107
00:52:39,584 --> 00:52:41,543
- [Andy] Too slow, boy!
- Jesus.
1108
00:52:41,543 --> 00:52:45,459
[Andy] Can't guard me.
Ha ha, old man! Goldfarb rules!
1109
00:52:46,918 --> 00:52:49,168
Still waitin' on me bookies!
1110
00:52:49,168 --> 00:52:50,418
It's right here.
1111
00:52:52,293 --> 00:52:53,626
I don't want that one.
1112
00:52:54,293 --> 00:52:56,293
[popcorn popping]
1113
00:53:00,626 --> 00:53:04,459
Hello, Joe. Can you refill
my popcorn please? Extra butter.
1114
00:53:05,084 --> 00:53:06,084
On it.
1115
00:53:08,876 --> 00:53:10,251
[Stacy, echoing in a memory]
I love this Carnivale theme,
1116
00:53:10,251 --> 00:53:13,001
but your Candyland theme
is going to be the best of the year.
1117
00:53:13,001 --> 00:53:15,918
[Lydia, echoing] Well, until your New York
theme puts the entire school to shame!
1118
00:53:15,918 --> 00:53:17,001
[Stacy, echoing] Yeah.
1119
00:53:17,001 --> 00:53:19,126
[Stacy, echoing] Why'd we eat
so many Twizzlers last night?
1120
00:53:19,126 --> 00:53:20,459
[Lydia, echoing] I don't know!
1121
00:53:20,459 --> 00:53:21,543
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
1122
00:53:22,043 --> 00:53:23,334
Oh, hey, Mateo.
1123
00:53:23,334 --> 00:53:26,293
Hey, can you believe no Bar
or Bat Mitzvah tonight?
1124
00:53:26,293 --> 00:53:27,584
Get to go to the movies.
1125
00:53:27,584 --> 00:53:29,459
[chuckling] What are you seeing?
1126
00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:31,626
I'm not sure. Andy bought the tickets.
1127
00:53:31,626 --> 00:53:33,668
- Andy's here?
- [Mateo] Yeah.
1128
00:53:33,668 --> 00:53:35,293
[indistinct chatter]
1129
00:53:36,459 --> 00:53:39,251
- Sorry, the butter nozzle's jammed.
- No, it's fine. I don't need butter.
1130
00:53:39,251 --> 00:53:41,584
- All good. I know you love butter.
- No, I really don't need butter.
1131
00:53:41,584 --> 00:53:43,626
I'll grab a coat hanger.
This is all fixed.
1132
00:53:43,626 --> 00:53:45,418
- Dude, give me the popcorn!
- [Kym] Stacy Friedman.
1133
00:53:45,418 --> 00:53:47,584
Hey, Kym! What's up?
1134
00:53:48,293 --> 00:53:51,251
Hey, yo, what's poppin'?
How's the bookie business?
1135
00:53:51,251 --> 00:53:53,043
Booming. Still got your Xbox?
1136
00:53:53,626 --> 00:53:54,459
You know it.
1137
00:53:54,459 --> 00:53:55,834
[Stacy] That's what's up.
1138
00:53:57,001 --> 00:53:59,043
[Danny] Bubie, what's taking you so long?
1139
00:53:59,043 --> 00:54:01,334
Is the guy mad at us
for getting three refills?
1140
00:54:01,334 --> 00:54:02,668
Where is that dude?
1141
00:54:02,668 --> 00:54:03,959
Oh, your friends are here.
1142
00:54:03,959 --> 00:54:06,543
What's up, everybody?
Nice to see you guys.
1143
00:54:06,543 --> 00:54:10,001
- I like your robe, man!
- Oh yeah, the kid likes the drip.
1144
00:54:10,001 --> 00:54:11,168
I like your taste.
1145
00:54:11,168 --> 00:54:13,209
So I'm gonna go outside and get a blanket
1146
00:54:13,209 --> 00:54:15,543
from the trunk of the car
'cause it's freezing in there.
1147
00:54:15,543 --> 00:54:18,584
We can kind of snuggle
like we used to. All right?
1148
00:54:18,584 --> 00:54:21,876
Always fun, right? Blanket time?
You know what I'm talking about, bro?
1149
00:54:22,793 --> 00:54:24,459
- Wha--
- I see you back there, Lydia.
1150
00:54:24,459 --> 00:54:26,626
- How you doing, kiddo?
- Oh, hey.
1151
00:54:26,626 --> 00:54:29,543
- Love ya. Say hi to your folks.
- Yeah, of course.
1152
00:54:29,543 --> 00:54:31,168
- [Danny] Miss you, buddy.
- [Lydia] See you.
1153
00:54:32,834 --> 00:54:33,959
You-- Oh...
1154
00:54:35,543 --> 00:54:37,834
[dramatic music playing]
1155
00:54:44,168 --> 00:54:45,001
[music fades]
1156
00:54:45,001 --> 00:54:46,793
[Tara] Stacy! We're here.
1157
00:54:49,126 --> 00:54:50,334
Did you fall off a motorcycle?
1158
00:54:50,334 --> 00:54:53,459
- Did you eat nuts? Do you need an EpiPen?
- Why do you look like a bad IG filter?
1159
00:54:53,459 --> 00:54:55,251
Can periods happen to your face?
1160
00:54:55,251 --> 00:54:56,543
Shut up. Come in.
1161
00:54:57,084 --> 00:54:59,751
- [Tara] What are you wearing? Oh my God.
- [Nikki] Scandy!
1162
00:54:59,751 --> 00:55:00,709
[Stacy] Guys...
1163
00:55:00,709 --> 00:55:02,543
["Say So" by Doja Cat playing]
1164
00:55:02,543 --> 00:55:04,918
[camera shutter clicking]
1165
00:55:06,251 --> 00:55:08,834
[Nikki] Tara, you're putting the lighting
in the camera. Okay, yeah.
1166
00:55:08,834 --> 00:55:11,626
- Lift it higher. Make sure I'm glowing.
- [Tara] I'm not built for this.
1167
00:55:11,626 --> 00:55:14,543
You know, I really thought we were
just gonna hang out and make slime.
1168
00:55:14,543 --> 00:55:15,959
Oh my God, we're women now.
1169
00:55:17,084 --> 00:55:17,918
Maybe later.
1170
00:55:18,501 --> 00:55:19,418
How does this look?
1171
00:55:20,876 --> 00:55:22,168
Like your goldfish died.
1172
00:55:22,168 --> 00:55:23,209
Hey, just switch it up.
1173
00:55:23,793 --> 00:55:25,084
- [Tara] Okay.
- There you go.
1174
00:55:26,126 --> 00:55:28,001
Seduce me. Okay? Just seduce me.
1175
00:55:28,001 --> 00:55:30,543
Oh, way better. Slay, queen.
1176
00:55:30,543 --> 00:55:32,793
Guys, this is so lame.
1177
00:55:32,793 --> 00:55:35,459
I thought we could be, like,
this iconic best friend trio, you know?
1178
00:55:35,459 --> 00:55:37,376
Now that Lydia broke up with you and all.
1179
00:55:38,376 --> 00:55:42,084
Uh-oh. Now you look like all the goldfish
in the world just died.
1180
00:55:42,084 --> 00:55:45,626
[sighing] No, it's fine. Let's just take
more pictures and then change outfits.
1181
00:55:45,626 --> 00:55:48,001
- [Tara] There's more outfits?
- That's-- Okay. Yeah.
1182
00:55:48,001 --> 00:55:49,543
[girls coughing]
1183
00:55:50,168 --> 00:55:51,918
- [Tara] Are you serious?
- [Nikki] Geez, Stace.
1184
00:55:51,918 --> 00:55:54,084
[Ronnie] Whoa, what is happening?
1185
00:55:54,626 --> 00:55:56,209
Uh, taking pictures.
1186
00:55:56,209 --> 00:55:57,709
You look insane.
1187
00:55:57,709 --> 00:56:00,001
Uh, we're gonna go get some boba
and then watch a movie,
1188
00:56:00,001 --> 00:56:01,376
Evil Dead 2, if you wanna come.
1189
00:56:01,376 --> 00:56:02,876
- Yeah, just--
- Oh, thank God.
1190
00:56:02,876 --> 00:56:03,918
Yes!
1191
00:56:03,918 --> 00:56:05,876
What happened to your armpits?
1192
00:56:05,876 --> 00:56:08,293
Oh, I shaved this morning.
It did not go well.
1193
00:56:08,876 --> 00:56:11,001
It's fine! I didn't need you anyway.
1194
00:56:16,168 --> 00:56:18,168
[contemplative music playing]
1195
00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:20,668
[Stacy] Don't you love puzzles?
1196
00:56:22,001 --> 00:56:23,168
Puzzles are corny.
1197
00:56:23,668 --> 00:56:25,001
Facts.
1198
00:56:25,543 --> 00:56:26,876
[music fades]
1199
00:56:32,709 --> 00:56:35,918
I have a question. Is Lydia a good kisser?
1200
00:56:37,376 --> 00:56:38,251
She's a'ight.
1201
00:56:39,251 --> 00:56:40,709
A'ight? Huh.
1202
00:56:41,418 --> 00:56:43,543
Probably because you were her first kiss.
1203
00:56:43,543 --> 00:56:46,751
No, she's told me she's kissed a bunch
of guys before.
1204
00:56:47,459 --> 00:56:48,459
At camp?
1205
00:56:49,376 --> 00:56:50,293
Yes.
1206
00:56:50,293 --> 00:56:54,376
Does her tight-lipped technique
suggest a high level of experience?
1207
00:56:54,376 --> 00:56:57,834
Nah, it's like she thinks she's kissing
a stuffed animal or something.
1208
00:56:57,834 --> 00:57:00,459
Plus, every time I try to move my hand,
she starts laughing,
1209
00:57:00,459 --> 00:57:01,793
says she's mad ticklish.
1210
00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:04,418
[scoffing] You have the patience
of a saint.
1211
00:57:04,959 --> 00:57:06,168
A Jewish saint.
1212
00:57:07,876 --> 00:57:08,751
True.
1213
00:57:10,334 --> 00:57:12,334
[dramatic music playing]
1214
00:57:12,959 --> 00:57:14,376
Twenty points for me.
1215
00:57:14,376 --> 00:57:15,709
Get it, Grandma.
1216
00:57:15,709 --> 00:57:18,751
Want a picture of you and your grandma
to prove to your moms you're here?
1217
00:57:19,418 --> 00:57:22,084
Uh, yeah. That's low-key a good idea.
1218
00:57:24,084 --> 00:57:25,084
Okay.
1219
00:57:30,209 --> 00:57:31,668
[camera shutter clicking]
1220
00:57:31,668 --> 00:57:33,543
- [Andy] Yeah, Grandma.
- Hilarious.
1221
00:57:34,293 --> 00:57:36,084
I have to prove
to Rabbi Rebecca I'm here too.
1222
00:57:36,084 --> 00:57:38,168
I'm volunteering for my mitzvah project.
1223
00:57:38,168 --> 00:57:40,168
- That's what's up.
- Here, I'll send it to you.
1224
00:57:40,668 --> 00:57:43,334
- For sure.
- Oh, shoot. I just sent you more pics.
1225
00:57:43,334 --> 00:57:45,251
- Just ignore.
- [cell phone] Andy Goldfarb.
1226
00:57:53,418 --> 00:57:54,709
Nice.
1227
00:57:58,001 --> 00:57:59,293
[music fades]
1228
00:58:00,126 --> 00:58:02,834
- [Stacy] That one's way too big on me.
- Okey-dokey.
1229
00:58:02,834 --> 00:58:04,584
[pop music playing over radio]
1230
00:58:04,584 --> 00:58:07,209
Well, why don't you try the strapless one?
1231
00:58:07,209 --> 00:58:08,293
[Stacy groaning]
1232
00:58:09,001 --> 00:58:12,084
[Bree] So, how's Lydia's entrance video
coming along?
1233
00:58:13,459 --> 00:58:15,084
I finished it this weekend.
1234
00:58:15,084 --> 00:58:16,001
[Bree] Great!
1235
00:58:16,709 --> 00:58:17,584
No.
1236
00:58:17,584 --> 00:58:18,834
Why is it a no?
1237
00:58:18,834 --> 00:58:20,501
[Stacy] Just-- it's just a no.
1238
00:58:20,501 --> 00:58:22,668
Well, okay, then try the last one on.
1239
00:58:22,668 --> 00:58:24,251
No, that's the worst one!
1240
00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:25,543
[Bree] Well, just try it!
1241
00:58:25,543 --> 00:58:26,793
[whining] Oh my God.
1242
00:58:26,793 --> 00:58:29,584
- [sighing heavily]
- [Stacy] It's so ugly, Mom.
1243
00:58:29,584 --> 00:58:31,626
Maybe it'll look good when it's on you.
1244
00:58:33,918 --> 00:58:36,168
[gasping] Oh.
1245
00:58:37,501 --> 00:58:38,418
You know what?
1246
00:58:39,709 --> 00:58:41,043
I like this.
1247
00:58:41,043 --> 00:58:44,168
I look like the lady
at school that pulls kids out of class
1248
00:58:44,168 --> 00:58:46,168
when their parents get into car accidents.
1249
00:58:46,168 --> 00:58:47,793
How often does that happen?
1250
00:58:48,918 --> 00:58:52,709
Can we please get this dress?
Come on. It's the dream dress.
1251
00:58:52,709 --> 00:58:54,376
It costs more than our house.
1252
00:58:54,376 --> 00:58:57,126
Okay, so wear the cheap dress
in front of God. Got it.
1253
00:58:57,126 --> 00:58:58,459
[woman] It's not cheap.
1254
00:58:58,459 --> 00:59:00,001
It's reasonable.
1255
00:59:00,001 --> 00:59:03,209
That's what every kid wants to hear
on the most important day of their life.
1256
00:59:03,209 --> 00:59:05,668
"Wow, Stacy, you look so reasonable."
1257
00:59:05,668 --> 00:59:07,584
You know what? This is a nice,
1258
00:59:08,584 --> 00:59:12,584
temple-friendly, well-priced dress. And--
1259
00:59:12,584 --> 00:59:15,918
No. Don't say it. Please, Mom.
Please, I beg you.
1260
00:59:16,418 --> 00:59:19,834
- We're gettin' it.
- Oh my God! You're ruining me!
1261
00:59:21,001 --> 00:59:22,709
So ugly, Mom.
1262
00:59:23,376 --> 00:59:26,834
- So, is this, like, a swipe or a chip?
- [cashier] Yeah, it's a chip.
1263
00:59:26,834 --> 00:59:30,209
[Bree] Good? Okay.
Wait, did I take it out too soon?
1264
00:59:32,959 --> 00:59:35,418
[Gabi] Why? We could color coordinate.
1265
00:59:35,418 --> 00:59:37,418
[Lydia] We're not color coordinating, Mom.
We're not doing that.
1266
00:59:37,418 --> 00:59:39,043
- You want to ruin me?
- [Gabi Okay. No.
1267
00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:41,459
It looks like something
the counselor at school wears, Mom.
1268
00:59:41,459 --> 00:59:43,918
- [Gabi] Okay, okay.
- [Lydia] Please, I'm not wearing that.
1269
00:59:44,751 --> 00:59:47,168
- [Eli] Yeah, I got that app too.
- Eli!
1270
00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:49,001
- [Eli] What?
- [Gabi] What do you think?
1271
00:59:49,001 --> 00:59:51,251
[Eli] What? Uh, Rudy, hold on a second.
1272
00:59:51,751 --> 00:59:54,084
I'm at a family function or something, uh...
1273
00:59:54,959 --> 00:59:59,001
Yeah, that dress is gorgeous, kiddo.
Only the best.
1274
00:59:59,001 --> 01:00:01,543
[Lydia] Papi, you don't even know
which one we're talking about.
1275
01:00:01,543 --> 01:00:04,459
It's the prettiest one.
Just like you, pumpkin.
1276
01:00:05,209 --> 01:00:07,584
Twenty-three skidoo! Wee!
1277
01:00:07,584 --> 01:00:10,376
Okay, yeah,
I think you gave me a good price.
1278
01:00:11,293 --> 01:00:13,751
Mom? Mom, can we go?
1279
01:00:13,751 --> 01:00:15,876
Yeah, okay. Take the dress.
1280
01:00:15,876 --> 01:00:17,584
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1281
01:00:17,584 --> 01:00:18,918
So great. We got a great deal.
1282
01:00:18,918 --> 01:00:20,293
Where's Daddy? I don't remember--
1283
01:00:20,293 --> 01:00:22,001
- No.
- [gasping] Gabi!
1284
01:00:22,001 --> 01:00:22,918
Bree?!
1285
01:00:22,918 --> 01:00:24,543
Lydia! Lydia's here--
1286
01:00:24,543 --> 01:00:26,626
Oh my God! I haven't seen you in forever!
1287
01:00:26,626 --> 01:00:27,876
[Bree] Hi!
1288
01:00:28,543 --> 01:00:31,334
[Gabi] Just like the two of us
to be getting dresses at the last minute.
1289
01:00:31,334 --> 01:00:32,959
[Bree] Why plan ahead, right?
1290
01:00:32,959 --> 01:00:34,084
[tense music playing]
1291
01:00:34,084 --> 01:00:35,459
[Gabi] How are you? How's Stace?
1292
01:00:35,459 --> 01:00:39,209
[Bree] She's good. I miss Lydia.
She hasn't been over in a while.
1293
01:00:39,209 --> 01:00:40,918
Eli! It's so great to see you.
1294
01:00:40,918 --> 01:00:42,168
How you doing?
1295
01:00:42,168 --> 01:00:44,418
Terrific. We're getting divorced.
1296
01:00:45,043 --> 01:00:47,918
Oh yeah. I'm-- I heard. I'm so sorry.
1297
01:00:47,918 --> 01:00:50,334
I'm not. I'm on six dating apps.
1298
01:00:50,334 --> 01:00:52,293
Six? Wow, that's a lot.
1299
01:00:52,293 --> 01:00:53,793
Andy broke up with me.
1300
01:00:54,459 --> 01:00:57,251
Hmm. Sorry to hear that.
You were the perfect couple.
1301
01:00:58,334 --> 01:01:02,209
He said he couldn't deal with the
ticklishness or the closed mouth kissing.
1302
01:01:03,376 --> 01:01:04,918
Sucks for you, I guess.
1303
01:01:06,126 --> 01:01:09,501
Said he heard
I lied about kissing boys in camp.
1304
01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:13,376
Well, you did lie. So...
1305
01:01:14,793 --> 01:01:17,293
[indistinct chatter]
1306
01:01:19,334 --> 01:01:20,334
[Bree] See you at temple?
1307
01:01:20,334 --> 01:01:21,918
- See you at temple.
- Okay.
1308
01:01:21,918 --> 01:01:24,334
Anyhoo. Gonna go.
1309
01:01:25,209 --> 01:01:26,626
- [Bree] Happy shopping!
- [Gabi] Yeah!
1310
01:01:26,626 --> 01:01:28,626
- Bye, Eli! Enjoy those dating apps.
- Yeah.
1311
01:01:28,626 --> 01:01:30,668
- Bye, Stacy.
- See ya! Come on, honey.
1312
01:01:32,168 --> 01:01:33,418
What's that mom's name again?
1313
01:01:33,418 --> 01:01:35,126
Bree.
1314
01:01:35,126 --> 01:01:36,418
Are you kidding me?
1315
01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:39,709
You need to get your fat head
in the game, Eli.
1316
01:01:39,709 --> 01:01:42,834
Stacy's father, Danny,
if you could remember names,
1317
01:01:42,834 --> 01:01:47,126
who we've known since kindergarten,
is so involved in every single detail!
1318
01:01:47,126 --> 01:01:48,834
Oh, he is?
1319
01:01:48,834 --> 01:01:52,709
So, which detail is that?
1320
01:01:54,459 --> 01:01:57,043
- [Danny groaning]
- He's exhausted from being a good dad.
1321
01:01:57,043 --> 01:01:59,251
Honey. You wish. [scoffing]
1322
01:02:00,043 --> 01:02:01,293
Can we get ice cream?
1323
01:02:01,293 --> 01:02:03,209
[upbeat guitar playing]
1324
01:02:03,209 --> 01:02:05,751
- Did you guys already get ice cream?
- No, we didn't.
1325
01:02:06,251 --> 01:02:09,168
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1326
01:02:09,793 --> 01:02:11,584
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1327
01:02:11,584 --> 01:02:13,084
♪ Chiri chiri chiri ♪
1328
01:02:13,084 --> 01:02:16,501
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1329
01:02:16,501 --> 01:02:19,751
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1330
01:02:19,751 --> 01:02:23,584
- [both] ♪ Shabbat shalom ♪
- [Jerry] Hey!
1331
01:02:23,584 --> 01:02:27,001
♪ Shabbat, shabbat
Shabbat, shabbat shalom ♪
1332
01:02:27,001 --> 01:02:30,168
♪ Bim bam bim bim bim bam ♪
1333
01:02:30,168 --> 01:02:33,834
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1334
01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:35,084
[in sing-song voice]
Yes, Seema?
1335
01:02:35,084 --> 01:02:37,376
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- [Rebecca] Yes you can.
1336
01:02:37,376 --> 01:02:41,043
Go pee-pee, but quickly.
1337
01:02:41,043 --> 01:02:42,293
So quickly.
1338
01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:48,418
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1339
01:02:50,043 --> 01:02:53,168
- [Rebecca] Thank you, thank you!
- Bravo! Slay, queen!
1340
01:02:55,084 --> 01:02:58,834
Does anyone know the significance
of that particular piece of music, huh?
1341
01:02:59,626 --> 01:03:02,459
Yes, Andy, please enlighten us.
1342
01:03:03,418 --> 01:03:05,251
I gotta go to the bathroom too.
1343
01:03:05,251 --> 01:03:07,876
No one thinks to take a whiz
before they come to class?
1344
01:03:07,876 --> 01:03:09,793
Fine, Andy, but quickly!
1345
01:03:09,793 --> 01:03:13,043
- So quickly.
- So quickly.
1346
01:03:13,043 --> 01:03:15,168
[class] So quickly.
1347
01:03:15,168 --> 01:03:16,918
[Jerry] Go, Andy.
1348
01:03:16,918 --> 01:03:18,626
[class] Go, Andy.
1349
01:03:18,626 --> 01:03:20,293
[Jerry] Good luck, Andy.
1350
01:03:20,293 --> 01:03:22,418
[class] Good luck, Andy.
1351
01:03:22,418 --> 01:03:27,626
Hopefully, it's not number two!
1352
01:03:27,626 --> 01:03:29,334
[class chuckling]
1353
01:03:29,334 --> 01:03:30,376
[toilet flushing]
1354
01:03:30,376 --> 01:03:32,668
[boy] It's Mr. Mateo!
1355
01:03:32,668 --> 01:03:34,209
[kids clamoring]
1356
01:03:34,209 --> 01:03:37,168
- Mr. Potatoes.
- [girl] Mr. Potato.
1357
01:03:37,168 --> 01:03:38,168
Hey, Stacy!
1358
01:03:38,168 --> 01:03:41,709
Can't believe you're not even Jewish,
and you come to temple more than I do.
1359
01:03:41,709 --> 01:03:44,418
Yeah, I go to church every Sunday.
1360
01:03:44,418 --> 01:03:48,418
Might as well fill in the other six days
for some, you know, holiness too.
1361
01:03:48,418 --> 01:03:51,043
I'm actually going
to help these guys make challah.
1362
01:03:51,043 --> 01:03:54,501
- [kids] Challah!
- Okay, okay! Challah, challah.
1363
01:03:54,501 --> 01:03:56,334
- That's what I said!
- [Stacy laughing]
1364
01:03:56,334 --> 01:03:58,834
I'm waiting here for Mrs. Lippman
to unlock the kitchen.
1365
01:03:58,834 --> 01:04:00,001
She's taking forever.
1366
01:04:00,001 --> 01:04:03,834
I remember when I had Mrs. Lippman,
six years old, not a care in the world.
1367
01:04:03,834 --> 01:04:04,751
[girl] I got cares.
1368
01:04:04,751 --> 01:04:07,793
My mom says
if I don't learn the candle blessings,
1369
01:04:07,793 --> 01:04:10,418
I can't play Call of Duty anymore!
1370
01:04:10,418 --> 01:04:11,584
Oh, that's heavy.
1371
01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:15,751
Or maybe Mr. Mateo will teach you.
He probably knows it by now.
1372
01:04:15,751 --> 01:04:18,459
[Mateo, singing in Hebrew]
Baruch Atah Adonai,
1373
01:04:18,459 --> 01:04:20,793
- Eloheinu Melech ha'o--
- [kids clamoring]
1374
01:04:20,793 --> 01:04:21,709
[kids cheer]
1375
01:04:21,709 --> 01:04:23,584
- Mrs. Lippman!
- [mouthing] Bye.
1376
01:04:23,584 --> 01:04:24,793
See you later, Stacy.
1377
01:04:25,293 --> 01:04:27,001
[contemplative music playing]
1378
01:04:29,334 --> 01:04:31,376
- Hi, Mike.
- [Mike] Shalom, Stacy.
1379
01:04:45,084 --> 01:04:46,043
What's up?
1380
01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:48,084
Hi.
1381
01:04:48,626 --> 01:04:49,584
[Andy] Hey, uh...
1382
01:04:50,584 --> 01:04:52,543
Have you ever kissed anyone?
1383
01:04:53,043 --> 01:04:54,501
[Stacy chuckling nervously]
1384
01:04:55,084 --> 01:04:56,876
Uh, no.
1385
01:04:58,459 --> 01:04:59,793
Would you want to?
1386
01:05:01,376 --> 01:05:02,251
Yeah.
1387
01:05:03,501 --> 01:05:05,126
All right, come on, let's go.
1388
01:05:07,793 --> 01:05:08,709
Come on.
1389
01:05:14,501 --> 01:05:16,626
- [girl] Um, someone's in here!
- [boy] Go away!
1390
01:05:16,626 --> 01:05:17,584
[kids giggling]
1391
01:05:17,584 --> 01:05:19,293
[whispering] Where could we go?
1392
01:05:20,751 --> 01:05:22,001
Come on. Let's go.
1393
01:05:26,418 --> 01:05:28,418
[dramatic music playing]
1394
01:05:38,751 --> 01:05:40,084
[music stops]
1395
01:05:47,168 --> 01:05:48,084
[Andy sighing]
1396
01:05:51,668 --> 01:05:53,709
No one's gonna find us in here.
1397
01:05:55,001 --> 01:05:58,168
I don't know,
I just feel like God's gonna be mad.
1398
01:05:59,543 --> 01:06:03,126
Nah, God's gonna be stoked
that we like each other so much.
1399
01:06:05,043 --> 01:06:05,918
You're right.
1400
01:06:14,168 --> 01:06:17,001
This is not the bathroom!
1401
01:06:17,001 --> 01:06:18,043
[whispering] Oh no.
1402
01:06:18,043 --> 01:06:19,501
[Rebecca] Do you see a toilet?!
1403
01:06:19,501 --> 01:06:21,209
I didn't think so!
1404
01:06:21,876 --> 01:06:23,084
I didn't need to go.
1405
01:06:23,793 --> 01:06:26,001
Well, mazel tov, you guys are married now.
1406
01:06:26,959 --> 01:06:28,584
Kidding, but you're in a lot of trouble.
1407
01:06:29,293 --> 01:06:32,209
In front of the Torah?
What were you thinking?
1408
01:06:32,209 --> 01:06:35,126
I said I was sorry.
Why is Andy not getting in trouble?
1409
01:06:35,126 --> 01:06:36,209
Oh, he's in trouble!
1410
01:06:36,209 --> 01:06:39,168
He's a repeat offender. We're handling it.
1411
01:06:39,168 --> 01:06:40,626
I hope my father doesn't handle it.
1412
01:06:40,626 --> 01:06:43,168
He'll put him in a wood chipper.
They'll never find his body.
1413
01:06:43,168 --> 01:06:44,584
[somber music playing]
1414
01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:49,126
Seema, we're only a few weeks away
from your Bat Mitz. Okay, cutie-pops?
1415
01:06:49,126 --> 01:06:51,668
This is supposed to be
the most important day of your life,
1416
01:06:51,668 --> 01:06:54,459
and you're not taking it seriously at all.
1417
01:06:54,459 --> 01:06:56,418
You haven't even done
your mitzvah project yet.
1418
01:06:56,418 --> 01:06:59,168
I did my mitzvah project.
I volunteered at the retirement home.
1419
01:06:59,168 --> 01:07:02,626
So you could do a mitzvah,
or so you could flirt with a boy?
1420
01:07:03,501 --> 01:07:04,876
How did you know that?
1421
01:07:04,876 --> 01:07:08,793
Let's just say there's
a wonderful woman there, Mrs. O'Leary,
1422
01:07:08,793 --> 01:07:14,251
who wishes to convert to Judaism,
and you never brought her bookies!
1423
01:07:14,959 --> 01:07:17,876
Yeah, you're not the only one
who's amazing at impressions.
1424
01:07:18,376 --> 01:07:19,376
I'll do better.
1425
01:07:20,209 --> 01:07:24,043
Let me take off
my "rabbi hat" for a second
1426
01:07:24,043 --> 01:07:26,459
and put on my "tough love hat."
1427
01:07:28,543 --> 01:07:31,918
If you don't shape up, your Bat Mitzvah
is gonna be cancelled, sis.
1428
01:07:32,918 --> 01:07:36,251
And that's the way
the hamantaschen crumbles. Capisce?
1429
01:07:44,959 --> 01:07:47,418
Yes, we understand, Rabbi Rebecca.
1430
01:07:47,418 --> 01:07:49,876
She doesn't really even deserve
a second chance.
1431
01:07:49,876 --> 01:07:50,918
We thank you for that.
1432
01:07:50,918 --> 01:07:52,084
[Rebecca] Mm-hmm.
1433
01:07:52,084 --> 01:07:56,168
Oh, and just please
calm your husband down.
1434
01:07:56,168 --> 01:08:00,501
Okay? Tell him don't put Andy Goldfarb
in a wood chipper.
1435
01:08:00,501 --> 01:08:03,168
- [Bree] She just walked in.
- [Rebecca] Oh. Okay, good luck.
1436
01:08:05,376 --> 01:08:08,418
Dad, take a breath.
Just talk to her. Don't yell.
1437
01:08:10,543 --> 01:08:11,876
[music stops]
1438
01:08:12,793 --> 01:08:14,168
He didn't take a breath.
1439
01:08:14,168 --> 01:08:15,209
No.
1440
01:08:18,834 --> 01:08:19,709
[door opening]
1441
01:08:19,709 --> 01:08:21,709
Hey. We don't slam doors in this house.
1442
01:08:21,709 --> 01:08:24,293
- Dad, I need a break.
- [Danny] Well, welcome to being an adult.
1443
01:08:24,293 --> 01:08:26,376
And welcome to being Jewish.
We don't get breaks.
1444
01:08:26,376 --> 01:08:27,709
Oh my God! Stop!
1445
01:08:27,709 --> 01:08:29,626
[Danny] Kissing a boy in a temple?
1446
01:08:29,626 --> 01:08:31,959
You know how disrespectful that is?
1447
01:08:31,959 --> 01:08:37,209
Every time you walk into that synagogue,
you are declaring to everyone and God,
1448
01:08:37,209 --> 01:08:39,959
"I'm Jewish, and I am part of this!"
1449
01:08:39,959 --> 01:08:41,334
Well, maybe I don't want to be!
1450
01:08:41,334 --> 01:08:42,501
Yes, you do!
1451
01:08:42,501 --> 01:08:44,126
I was born into God's kingdom!
1452
01:08:44,126 --> 01:08:47,168
Yeah? Well, God wants you out right now!
How's that?
1453
01:08:47,168 --> 01:08:49,334
- I hate you!
- [Danny] You don't mean that.
1454
01:08:49,334 --> 01:08:51,959
Wow, I never said that to him,
and I was nuts.
1455
01:08:51,959 --> 01:08:53,626
- [Danny] You hate me?!
- [knocking on door]
1456
01:08:53,626 --> 01:08:56,418
[Stacy] I do. You're a jerk,
and you won't let me have a mojito bar.
1457
01:08:56,418 --> 01:08:57,334
Gabi!
1458
01:08:57,334 --> 01:08:58,251
Hi!
1459
01:08:58,251 --> 01:09:00,376
[Danny] That's why we fought the Nazis?
1460
01:09:00,376 --> 01:09:02,084
So you could have a mojito bar?
1461
01:09:02,084 --> 01:09:03,459
Is this a bad time?
1462
01:09:03,459 --> 01:09:06,459
- Um, no. What's... what's going on?
- [Danny] Are you nuts?
1463
01:09:06,459 --> 01:09:09,084
Well, Stacy was supposed
to do that video for Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1464
01:09:09,084 --> 01:09:10,543
Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course, right.
1465
01:09:10,543 --> 01:09:12,501
[Stacy] Get out of my room!
Stop ruining my life!
1466
01:09:12,501 --> 01:09:14,584
- Anyways--
- [Danny] I paid for this room!
1467
01:09:14,584 --> 01:09:15,543
She never sent it.
1468
01:09:15,543 --> 01:09:18,543
I was in the neighborhood, and thought
I'd pop by and see if it was ready.
1469
01:09:18,543 --> 01:09:19,709
- [screaming]
- [Danny] Really?
1470
01:09:19,709 --> 01:09:22,543
Oh, hi, Ronnie. Hi, Zaara. How's it going?
1471
01:09:22,543 --> 01:09:24,834
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb?
That's who you pick?
1472
01:09:24,834 --> 01:09:26,834
[both] Great! Nice to see you.
1473
01:09:26,834 --> 01:09:28,876
You girls got so big. How's high school?
1474
01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:31,001
[Stacy] You'll be the reason
I start doing drugs!
1475
01:09:31,001 --> 01:09:32,209
[Danny] Same here!
1476
01:09:32,209 --> 01:09:33,126
Hard.
1477
01:09:33,126 --> 01:09:34,584
Very, very stressful.
1478
01:09:34,584 --> 01:09:35,626
[Danny] Good God!
1479
01:09:35,626 --> 01:09:39,334
Um, I think that Stacy said
she finished the video this weekend,
1480
01:09:39,334 --> 01:09:41,543
so I can just email it to you ASAP.
1481
01:09:41,543 --> 01:09:44,584
Thanks. Lydia keeps talking about how
she doesn't wanna have a video anymore.
1482
01:09:44,584 --> 01:09:46,709
- I know she'd regret it.
- [Danny] You're on your own! Good luck!
1483
01:09:46,709 --> 01:09:48,126
[Stacy, shouting]
I hope you die before Mom!
1484
01:09:48,126 --> 01:09:50,751
- [Danny] I'm taking you with me!
- We'll see you. Mazel tov! Bye!
1485
01:09:51,418 --> 01:09:52,584
[tense music playing]
1486
01:09:52,584 --> 01:09:54,668
[Bree sighing]
1487
01:10:03,876 --> 01:10:05,959
[tense music swelling]
1488
01:10:07,793 --> 01:10:11,293
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb
is going in the goddamn wood chipper!
1489
01:10:11,293 --> 01:10:12,834
- [keyboard clicking]
- Okay.
1490
01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:14,918
["Now I'm In It" by HAIM playing]
1491
01:10:16,751 --> 01:10:18,293
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy here.
1492
01:10:19,709 --> 01:10:23,918
So, as you probably already know,
Lydia's Bat Mitzvah is coming up,
1493
01:10:23,918 --> 01:10:26,084
and I really don't know what to do.
1494
01:10:26,626 --> 01:10:28,834
I'm not even sure if she wants me there.
1495
01:10:28,834 --> 01:10:30,876
- [girls laughing]
- [kids clamoring]
1496
01:10:33,418 --> 01:10:35,709
[Stacy, continuing] If I was in
this situation a month ago,
1497
01:10:35,709 --> 01:10:37,751
I would've asked my friends what to do.
1498
01:10:38,626 --> 01:10:40,293
Hey, look, we're twinning.
1499
01:10:41,626 --> 01:10:42,626
[Megan] Twinning?
1500
01:10:42,626 --> 01:10:44,418
What are we in fourth grade?
1501
01:10:45,126 --> 01:10:47,126
[Stacy, continuing] But the people
I'm hanging out with now,
1502
01:10:47,126 --> 01:10:49,418
I don't know
if they'd have such good advice.
1503
01:10:49,418 --> 01:10:52,126
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
et b'ney Moshe--
1504
01:10:52,126 --> 01:10:53,918
[Stacy, narrating]
I've actually been working hard
1505
01:10:53,918 --> 01:10:56,918
because I want to have a good Bat Mitzvah
and a good life.
1506
01:10:57,418 --> 01:11:00,334
[continuing in Hebrew]
kedushah ha-nasi...
1507
01:11:00,334 --> 01:11:02,834
I don't know how to fix things with Lydia,
1508
01:11:02,834 --> 01:11:04,209
or if I should,
1509
01:11:04,209 --> 01:11:05,959
or if it's even possible.
1510
01:11:05,959 --> 01:11:10,543
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
al panav ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1511
01:11:10,543 --> 01:11:11,793
Booyah!
1512
01:11:12,334 --> 01:11:14,959
So I've been focusing
on my new mitzvah project.
1513
01:11:14,959 --> 01:11:16,251
♪ 'Cause now I'm in it ♪
1514
01:11:16,834 --> 01:11:18,418
♪ But I've been trying... ♪
1515
01:11:18,418 --> 01:11:20,793
{\an8}[Stacy, narrating] And maybe,
if I start doing good things...
1516
01:11:20,793 --> 01:11:21,709
I got you.
1517
01:11:21,709 --> 01:11:23,626
...good things will start happening to me.
1518
01:11:26,001 --> 01:11:27,001
[coin clanking]
1519
01:11:29,709 --> 01:11:30,751
Thanks.
1520
01:11:31,543 --> 01:11:34,126
[Stacy, continuing] That's more of
a Buddhist concept than a Jewish one,
1521
01:11:34,126 --> 01:11:35,709
but, hey, at this point, I'm--
1522
01:11:35,709 --> 01:11:36,834
[Schmuley] Friedman?
1523
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,251
What the hell are you doing?
1524
01:11:39,251 --> 01:11:41,043
Your meter was expired.
1525
01:11:41,043 --> 01:11:43,001
Yes, I wanted it to be expired.
1526
01:11:43,001 --> 01:11:44,959
The meter maid is a sexual icon,
1527
01:11:44,959 --> 01:11:47,126
and I wanted a chance to hit on her.
1528
01:11:47,126 --> 01:11:49,709
Now I have to wait 45 minutes!
1529
01:11:49,709 --> 01:11:51,543
You're not supposed
to call them meter maids.
1530
01:11:51,543 --> 01:11:53,334
And why are you in a handicapped spot?
1531
01:11:53,918 --> 01:11:55,418
Everybody loves a bad boy.
1532
01:11:56,209 --> 01:11:58,209
Gross. That's a $500 fine.
1533
01:11:58,209 --> 01:11:59,376
Huh?
1534
01:12:07,959 --> 01:12:09,918
[dance music playing on stereo]
1535
01:12:09,918 --> 01:12:12,418
- [tires screeching]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1536
01:12:12,418 --> 01:12:13,334
[Stacy gasping]
1537
01:12:15,376 --> 01:12:16,334
What the heck, man?
1538
01:12:17,001 --> 01:12:18,168
It was her fault!
1539
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:20,668
- [man] Her?
- [Schmuley] She did it!
1540
01:12:20,668 --> 01:12:22,084
- [man] We know that kid.
- What?
1541
01:12:22,084 --> 01:12:25,001
- She goes out with the basketball guy.
- Exactly.
1542
01:12:25,001 --> 01:12:27,126
[car window rolling down]
1543
01:12:35,918 --> 01:12:37,876
[somber music playing]
1544
01:12:37,876 --> 01:12:39,209
[Bree] Stace?
1545
01:12:39,209 --> 01:12:40,751
[footsteps approaching]
1546
01:12:40,751 --> 01:12:41,834
[Bree] Honey?
1547
01:12:43,376 --> 01:12:44,793
Why aren't you ready yet?
1548
01:12:45,751 --> 01:12:47,376
I don't want to go.
1549
01:12:47,376 --> 01:12:48,918
[Bree] Yes, you do.
1550
01:12:48,918 --> 01:12:51,376
This is Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1551
01:12:52,293 --> 01:12:54,709
- She doesn't even want me there.
- [Bree] Honey.
1552
01:12:54,709 --> 01:12:57,168
I don't know what's happening
between you two,
1553
01:12:57,168 --> 01:13:00,293
but I know things must feel
really messed up right now.
1554
01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:04,334
I know she hurt you,
but I'm sure she misses her best friend.
1555
01:13:06,626 --> 01:13:08,584
You need to make things right.
1556
01:13:12,043 --> 01:13:13,501
- Okay?
- [Stacy] Yeah.
1557
01:13:13,501 --> 01:13:15,959
[Bree] Okay,
I think you should wear this towel.
1558
01:13:15,959 --> 01:13:18,168
- It's a good accessory.
- It's very stylish.
1559
01:13:18,168 --> 01:13:19,501
- Don't you think?
- Yeah.
1560
01:13:19,501 --> 01:13:21,084
[contemplative music playing]
1561
01:13:21,084 --> 01:13:22,626
[indistinct chatter]
1562
01:13:24,709 --> 01:13:27,709
Oy! Hey! Hey, slow down!
1563
01:13:27,709 --> 01:13:29,959
- Feel the breeze, Grandma!
- Oh my, ah!
1564
01:13:29,959 --> 01:13:32,376
I can see why you fell for him so hard.
1565
01:13:35,668 --> 01:13:37,251
[Bree] You’re wearin' the suit
for me, huh?
1566
01:13:37,251 --> 01:13:39,959
- [Danny] Yeah. Lydia gets the suit.
- [Bree] Oh, it's for Lydia.
1567
01:13:43,168 --> 01:13:44,709
[Schmuley yelling in Hebrew]
1568
01:13:44,709 --> 01:13:46,751
- [funky song playing]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1569
01:13:46,751 --> 01:13:48,793
[indistinct chatter]
1570
01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:52,584
- We love you guys!
- Thank you for coming.
1571
01:13:52,584 --> 01:13:54,043
[Bree] Lydia! Look at you!
1572
01:13:54,043 --> 01:13:55,418
Oh my God!
1573
01:13:55,418 --> 01:13:56,918
- This is exquisite!
- [inaudible]
1574
01:13:57,543 --> 01:14:00,793
Gabi, you've outdone yourself, girl.
Really, it's gorgeous.
1575
01:14:00,793 --> 01:14:02,584
[Gabi] Stacy, I'm so glad you came!
1576
01:14:02,584 --> 01:14:04,876
Lydia said you've been so busy
with show choir.
1577
01:14:05,834 --> 01:14:07,334
Yeah, the show's going really great.
1578
01:14:07,334 --> 01:14:08,668
[Gabi] That's exciting.
1579
01:14:08,668 --> 01:14:09,751
Can you girls believe it?
1580
01:14:09,751 --> 01:14:12,543
You've been planning this
your whole lives, and it's finally here!
1581
01:14:12,543 --> 01:14:15,876
Uh, well, it's time to get hammered.
1582
01:14:15,876 --> 01:14:16,834
[chuckling] Okay.
1583
01:14:16,834 --> 01:14:18,584
Ooh, maybe he'll pass out.
1584
01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:21,584
You! I saw you today at temple.
The Haftarah.
1585
01:14:21,584 --> 01:14:22,876
[smacking lips] Spot on.
1586
01:14:22,876 --> 01:14:25,501
- Thank you, Mr. Friedman.
- Lydia, you look so pretty!
1587
01:14:25,501 --> 01:14:26,626
[Lydia] Well, thank you.
1588
01:14:26,626 --> 01:14:30,376
- You got the Twizzlers station?
- Yeah, it's back there. I got it for you.
1589
01:14:30,376 --> 01:14:32,126
[girls] Yay! [giggling]
1590
01:14:32,126 --> 01:14:35,043
[sing-songy] Your New York theme
is gonna be amazing!
1591
01:14:35,043 --> 01:14:37,126
[in accent] Thank you for coming, madam.
1592
01:14:37,126 --> 01:14:39,334
[in accent] Well,
thank you for inviting me.
1593
01:14:39,334 --> 01:14:41,043
[Nikki] Lyd! There you are!
1594
01:14:41,043 --> 01:14:42,626
- [Tara] Hey!
- You're up! Come on!
1595
01:14:42,626 --> 01:14:43,876
Ready for your grand entrance?
1596
01:14:44,793 --> 01:14:46,709
[in accent] Come on! Places, cutie-pops.
1597
01:14:46,709 --> 01:14:48,043
[girls giggling]
1598
01:14:48,043 --> 01:14:49,709
- See you after.
- That's a good impression.
1599
01:14:49,709 --> 01:14:50,876
[Gabi] See you. Bye, Ronnie!
1600
01:14:50,876 --> 01:14:53,084
- That felt good, huh?
- Yeah.
1601
01:14:54,543 --> 01:14:55,418
- Wow!
- Wow!
1602
01:14:57,293 --> 01:14:58,918
- [Bree] Hey!
- [Danny] Oh, hey!
1603
01:14:58,918 --> 01:15:01,293
We're sitting with the Lamonsoffs.
I love it!
1604
01:15:01,293 --> 01:15:02,418
Good to see ya.
1605
01:15:03,543 --> 01:15:05,168
[knocking on door]
1606
01:15:05,168 --> 01:15:06,209
What up?
1607
01:15:06,751 --> 01:15:09,209
[man] You ready, DJ? The party's starting.
1608
01:15:09,209 --> 01:15:13,043
All right, I'll be right there!
I'm just getting my mind right!
1609
01:15:16,126 --> 01:15:17,168
[Schmuley sighing]
1610
01:15:18,001 --> 01:15:19,584
It's Schmuley time.
1611
01:15:21,543 --> 01:15:22,626
So let's go.
1612
01:15:24,334 --> 01:15:29,168
All right! Put your hands up in the air
like you just don't care, because...
1613
01:15:29,168 --> 01:15:34,209
It is officially
Lydia Katz Rodriguez's Bat Mitzvah!
1614
01:15:34,209 --> 01:15:36,584
[all cheering]
1615
01:15:36,584 --> 01:15:39,584
[Schmuley] Woo!
Oh yeah, you got it, Grandma!
1616
01:15:39,584 --> 01:15:41,043
[inaudible]
1617
01:15:44,876 --> 01:15:47,793
Yeah, nobody does it
like DJ Schmuley, huh?
1618
01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:48,876
I guess.
1619
01:15:48,876 --> 01:15:51,251
["A Little Bit of Love" by Weezer playing]
1620
01:15:58,418 --> 01:15:59,959
[crowd exclaiming]
1621
01:16:00,668 --> 01:16:03,043
My little sweet baby.
1622
01:16:05,876 --> 01:16:07,001
Bubelah!
1623
01:16:07,001 --> 01:16:07,959
Tatelah!
1624
01:16:07,959 --> 01:16:09,043
Meydelah!
1625
01:16:09,043 --> 01:16:11,459
Shayna punim!
1626
01:16:17,001 --> 01:16:19,834
- Remember that? Kindergarten, first day?
- Yeah, yeah.
1627
01:16:19,834 --> 01:16:21,501
Yeah, you took my parking spot.
1628
01:16:22,001 --> 01:16:24,251
Mm-hmm.
Not sure that was me, but either way.
1629
01:16:24,251 --> 01:16:25,334
Okay.
1630
01:16:25,334 --> 01:16:27,209
[crowd exclaiming]
1631
01:16:28,418 --> 01:16:30,459
If that was you and a boy,
what would you do?
1632
01:16:33,626 --> 01:16:35,001
[all chuckling]
1633
01:16:36,918 --> 01:16:38,918
[tense music playing]
1634
01:16:41,751 --> 01:16:43,793
[Stacy, on video] We're waiting for her
to pop a pimple.
1635
01:16:43,793 --> 01:16:45,793
Stace, what's going on?
What are you doing?
1636
01:16:46,293 --> 01:16:47,709
[crowd laughing]
1637
01:16:48,876 --> 01:16:49,793
Look at that.
1638
01:16:50,918 --> 01:16:52,459
[Stacy, on video]
Why do you always do that?
1639
01:16:52,459 --> 01:16:54,459
Because I like the way my feet smell!
1640
01:16:54,459 --> 01:16:56,001
[Stacy, on video] This isn't normal!
1641
01:16:57,709 --> 01:16:59,793
Schmuley, turn off the video.
Please, please, please!
1642
01:16:59,793 --> 01:17:02,751
Schmuley! Turn off the video!
1643
01:17:02,751 --> 01:17:04,793
It's getting big reactions.
What's wrong with it?
1644
01:17:04,793 --> 01:17:08,126
It's getting a horrible reaction!
Please, just turn it off!
1645
01:17:08,126 --> 01:17:10,251
- [all laughing]
- [Tara] She sounds like a lawnmower.
1646
01:17:11,793 --> 01:17:13,251
That was not a snore!
1647
01:17:13,251 --> 01:17:14,793
[girls giggling]
1648
01:17:14,793 --> 01:17:16,709
- [Lydia] What's that smell?
- Oh God.
1649
01:17:16,709 --> 01:17:19,001
[Lydia] Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
1650
01:17:19,001 --> 01:17:20,376
They're horrible.
1651
01:17:20,376 --> 01:17:24,334
Oh, I want cute, designer stuff,
but make sure it's, like, eco-friendly.
1652
01:17:24,334 --> 01:17:26,043
- I'm sorry.
- [Lydia] They're very dumb.
1653
01:17:26,043 --> 01:17:27,209
It's kinda true though.
1654
01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:29,168
Shut up! It's not.
1655
01:17:29,168 --> 01:17:31,501
- I got a full booger.
- Stop! Erase that right now. Please!
1656
01:17:32,709 --> 01:17:34,293
[Stacy, on video] Her real toes are hairy.
1657
01:17:34,293 --> 01:17:36,793
[Lydia] Remember when that string
on my tampon broke?
1658
01:17:36,793 --> 01:17:38,168
I think I peed myself!
1659
01:17:38,168 --> 01:17:39,709
Oh my God.
1660
01:17:39,709 --> 01:17:42,334
Have you ever farted from the front?
1661
01:17:42,334 --> 01:17:43,876
[Stacy, on video]
Yeah, like your vajayjay?
1662
01:17:43,876 --> 01:17:45,584
- [Lydia] Want me to show you?
- [Stacy] Yes.
1663
01:17:45,584 --> 01:17:46,876
[Lydia] I have to prepare.
1664
01:17:48,751 --> 01:17:50,043
[flatulating]
1665
01:17:50,043 --> 01:17:51,751
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
1666
01:17:51,751 --> 01:17:54,084
[woman] Is that
what kids talk about today?
1667
01:17:54,084 --> 01:17:56,334
Tampons and frontal farts?
1668
01:17:56,334 --> 01:17:58,084
You better not show this to anyone.
1669
01:17:58,084 --> 01:17:59,084
Oh my God.
1670
01:17:59,084 --> 01:18:01,209
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone...
1671
01:18:01,209 --> 01:18:03,459
- Schmuley did this?
- I... I--
1672
01:18:03,459 --> 01:18:04,501
Schmuley?
1673
01:18:04,501 --> 01:18:09,001
Thanks for watching, bye!
1674
01:18:12,626 --> 01:18:14,251
- Why would Stacy do that?
- I don't know.
1675
01:18:16,126 --> 01:18:17,584
[crowd exclaiming, murmuring]
1676
01:18:19,251 --> 01:18:20,668
Okay, even I'm not that mean.
1677
01:18:20,668 --> 01:18:22,626
- You're pretty mean.
- Yeah, you suck.
1678
01:18:39,459 --> 01:18:40,876
Turn it off, turn it off!
1679
01:18:40,876 --> 01:18:43,334
Lydia! Lydia, I didn't mean to--
1680
01:18:43,334 --> 01:18:45,709
[Lydia] Stop! You didn't mean to?
1681
01:18:45,709 --> 01:18:48,501
Like you didn't mean to tell everyone
I had a black hair on my nipple,
1682
01:18:48,501 --> 01:18:49,834
or that Andy was my first kiss?
1683
01:18:49,834 --> 01:18:52,251
- No, but this is different!
- Just stop lying, Stacy!
1684
01:18:52,251 --> 01:18:54,959
I have tried to apologize,
but you keep punishing me!
1685
01:18:54,959 --> 01:18:57,418
- When is it enough, Stacy?
- Now, it's enough!
1686
01:18:57,418 --> 01:18:58,418
It's too late!
1687
01:18:58,918 --> 01:18:59,876
[Gabi] Lydia!
1688
01:19:01,334 --> 01:19:04,001
[“Hang the Moon” by Matthew Bair,
Katelyn Tarver, Sadie Sandler playing]
1689
01:19:04,001 --> 01:19:07,793
♪ I saw us only in the highlights ♪
1690
01:19:07,793 --> 01:19:09,834
[Stacy crying]
1691
01:19:11,459 --> 01:19:12,543
[Stacy sniffling]
1692
01:19:12,543 --> 01:19:15,959
♪ A picture of me... ♪
1693
01:19:15,959 --> 01:19:18,293
I should go up and see her.
I gotta talk to her.
1694
01:19:18,293 --> 01:19:20,793
No, I'm the one who sent the damn video.
I should go.
1695
01:19:20,793 --> 01:19:24,043
Neither of you guys should go up there.
She needs to process this herself.
1696
01:19:24,043 --> 01:19:25,043
No, honey, she needs--
1697
01:19:25,043 --> 01:19:27,209
I know what she needs
'cause I know how she's feeling.
1698
01:19:27,209 --> 01:19:28,668
How would you know what she's feeling?
1699
01:19:28,668 --> 01:19:31,334
Even your crazy ass
never did anything that stupid.
1700
01:19:31,334 --> 01:19:33,668
True, but I've seen some similar TikToks.
1701
01:19:33,668 --> 01:19:36,584
And the "even your crazy ass"
was gaslighting.
1702
01:19:37,459 --> 01:19:38,918
Yeah, you're right. Sorry about that.
1703
01:19:38,918 --> 01:19:41,334
This is gonna be difficult
for you to hear, Danny and Bree,
1704
01:19:41,334 --> 01:19:42,834
but from this point forward,
1705
01:19:42,834 --> 01:19:46,918
there's going to be a whole huge part
of Stacy that you don't understand,
1706
01:19:46,918 --> 01:19:49,918
that you won't ever understand,
no matter how much you want to,
1707
01:19:49,918 --> 01:19:51,251
and that's just the way it is.
1708
01:19:52,334 --> 01:19:54,876
Don't ever call us Danny
and Bree again, Zaara.
1709
01:19:54,876 --> 01:19:56,084
Yeah, that was weird.
1710
01:19:56,084 --> 01:19:58,418
Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Friedman.
1711
01:19:59,793 --> 01:20:01,501
To me, that was gaslighting.
1712
01:20:05,001 --> 01:20:09,334
[Stacy, narrating]
God, everything is such a mess.
1713
01:20:10,584 --> 01:20:12,626
I've never felt this way before.
1714
01:20:15,501 --> 01:20:18,251
And I don't know how to fix it.
1715
01:20:21,543 --> 01:20:25,334
♪ When you said it was love
Did you mean it? ♪
1716
01:20:25,834 --> 01:20:29,918
♪ Or did I make it up? Did I dream it? ♪
1717
01:20:29,918 --> 01:20:33,918
♪ For a while I was fooled
I believed it ♪
1718
01:20:34,418 --> 01:20:38,209
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1719
01:20:42,709 --> 01:20:45,251
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1720
01:20:45,251 --> 01:20:49,126
[Stacy, narrating] Well, I'm sure you got
this day marked in your holy calendar too,
1721
01:20:49,126 --> 01:20:51,293
but today is my Bat Mitzvah.
1722
01:20:51,293 --> 01:20:54,126
The most important day of my Jewish life.
1723
01:20:54,126 --> 01:20:56,376
Maybe even my entire life.
1724
01:20:56,959 --> 01:20:58,501
But what's the point?
1725
01:20:58,501 --> 01:20:59,834
[Bree] Let's do this!
1726
01:21:02,418 --> 01:21:04,168
You're kidding me. Again?
1727
01:21:04,168 --> 01:21:06,418
This time, I'm serious. I am not going.
1728
01:21:06,418 --> 01:21:08,751
Oh, you're going.
Get dressed. Get in the car.
1729
01:21:08,751 --> 01:21:10,626
- I can't, and I won't.
- [tense music playing]
1730
01:21:10,626 --> 01:21:13,543
Okay, fine. Say goodbye to your phone.
1731
01:21:15,293 --> 01:21:17,168
Fine. Who am I texting anyway?
1732
01:21:19,293 --> 01:21:20,168
[music stops]
1733
01:21:20,668 --> 01:21:24,251
There is nothing you can say or do
that will make me go.
1734
01:21:24,918 --> 01:21:27,584
I'm an adult today,
and I can make my own decisions,
1735
01:21:27,584 --> 01:21:30,209
and I have decided that I am staying here.
1736
01:21:31,501 --> 01:21:34,168
- [screaming] Put me down, put me down!
- [Danny] Hey. Come on. Hey.
1737
01:21:34,168 --> 01:21:36,376
Ronnie! [screaming]
1738
01:21:36,376 --> 01:21:39,168
That is some amazing parenting
right there.
1739
01:21:39,168 --> 01:21:41,459
- [Stacy] No! Don't! [screaming]
- [Danny] Hey.
1740
01:21:41,459 --> 01:21:43,793
[indistinct chatter]
1741
01:21:46,459 --> 01:21:48,418
Hey, how are those armpits doing?
1742
01:21:48,418 --> 01:21:50,501
You know how they say
that it grows back double?
1743
01:21:50,501 --> 01:21:51,793
It's growing back triple.
1744
01:21:51,793 --> 01:21:52,751
Oh.
1745
01:21:52,751 --> 01:21:53,751
Yeah.
1746
01:21:53,751 --> 01:21:55,376
- [Stacy screaming]
- [Bree] Pull it together!
1747
01:21:56,001 --> 01:21:57,084
[crowd murmuring]
1748
01:21:57,084 --> 01:21:58,376
[Bree chuckling nervously]
1749
01:21:58,376 --> 01:22:00,501
- [Danny] Calm down.
- I don't want to go.
1750
01:22:00,501 --> 01:22:01,626
Can you stop?
1751
01:22:02,543 --> 01:22:03,668
H-hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1752
01:22:03,668 --> 01:22:05,834
Shabbat shalom.
1753
01:22:05,834 --> 01:22:07,709
[all] Shabbat shalom.
1754
01:22:07,709 --> 01:22:10,834
Today is a very special day.
1755
01:22:11,334 --> 01:22:14,001
Our brilliant, young Stacy Friedman
1756
01:22:14,001 --> 01:22:17,584
is called to the bimah
for her Bat Mitzvah.
1757
01:22:17,584 --> 01:22:18,918
[Stacy, narrating] Oh, God.
1758
01:22:18,918 --> 01:22:22,584
Do you hear her calling me up
to receive an honor I do not deserve?
1759
01:22:23,293 --> 01:22:27,209
I've been dreaming about this day
my whole life, and now it's here.
1760
01:22:27,209 --> 01:22:31,418
And I wish I could go back in bed,
or under my bed, or literally anywhere--
1761
01:22:31,418 --> 01:22:32,501
[Rebecca] Seema?
1762
01:22:32,501 --> 01:22:34,584
[contemplative music playing]
1763
01:22:44,293 --> 01:22:45,751
[Stacy clearing throat]
1764
01:22:57,418 --> 01:23:00,376
[in Hebrew] Barechu et Adonai hamevorach.
1765
01:23:00,376 --> 01:23:05,043
[crowd in unison] Baruch Adonai
hamevorach leolam vaed.
1766
01:23:05,043 --> 01:23:08,043
Baruch Adonai hamevorach leolam vaed.
1767
01:23:08,043 --> 01:23:12,584
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu
melech haolam,
1768
01:23:12,584 --> 01:23:15,709
asher bachar banu mikol...
1769
01:23:15,709 --> 01:23:17,251
[Stacy slowing] ha-amim...
1770
01:23:18,501 --> 01:23:19,543
[Stacy sniffling]
1771
01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:28,376
I made a huge mistake. [sniffling]
1772
01:23:29,584 --> 01:23:32,209
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what I'm doing up here.
1773
01:23:35,293 --> 01:23:36,293
[guitar ending abruptly]
1774
01:23:37,418 --> 01:23:38,418
[Stacy sniffling]
1775
01:23:39,501 --> 01:23:40,418
[exhaling]
1776
01:23:41,043 --> 01:23:41,876
Uh...
1777
01:23:41,876 --> 01:23:43,501
[emotional music playing]
1778
01:23:43,501 --> 01:23:47,543
In the Jewish religion,
I am supposed to be a grown-up today.
1779
01:23:48,834 --> 01:23:54,959
But I have been so selfish and bratty
and annoying to my parents who just want...
1780
01:23:54,959 --> 01:23:57,001
[Stacy, narrating] And then, it happened.
1781
01:23:57,001 --> 01:23:59,709
The very day I was supposed
to become a woman
1782
01:23:59,709 --> 01:24:01,751
is the day that everything started
to make sense.
1783
01:24:01,751 --> 01:24:03,209
...Nikki, Tara...
1784
01:24:03,209 --> 01:24:06,459
When you're a kid, you think it's okay
to put yourself in front of your friends
1785
01:24:06,459 --> 01:24:08,334
in pursuit of something better.
1786
01:24:08,959 --> 01:24:11,793
A woman knows there is nothing better
than your friends.
1787
01:24:13,293 --> 01:24:14,584
...Kym, Megan, Anya...
1788
01:24:14,584 --> 01:24:15,751
[Stacy, narrating] When you're a kid,
1789
01:24:15,751 --> 01:24:19,209
sometimes you think you have to be
someone you're not in order to fit in.
1790
01:24:19,209 --> 01:24:22,834
...if I'm being honest, it's probably 'cause
we were, like, jealous or something...
1791
01:24:22,834 --> 01:24:25,418
But a woman knows
it's not about hiding who you are.
1792
01:24:25,418 --> 01:24:27,418
It's about being yourself
and speaking your truth.
1793
01:24:27,418 --> 01:24:30,793
...but also, you guys can be,
like, such a-holes sometimes.
1794
01:24:30,793 --> 01:24:32,084
[crowd gasping]
1795
01:24:32,084 --> 01:24:33,668
Keep it PG in the temple.
1796
01:24:33,668 --> 01:24:34,793
Sorry.
1797
01:24:34,793 --> 01:24:37,209
Where'd she learn to curse like that?
1798
01:24:37,209 --> 01:24:38,334
No idea.
1799
01:24:38,334 --> 01:24:41,543
[Stacy] And the biggest difference
between being a kid and an adult...
1800
01:24:41,543 --> 01:24:42,668
Andy...
1801
01:24:43,501 --> 01:24:45,459
...is knowing what really matters.
1802
01:24:46,043 --> 01:24:49,376
I'm gonna keep it brief 'cause I know you
can't focus on one thing for that long,
1803
01:24:49,376 --> 01:24:52,543
but you're basic and not nice to people,
1804
01:24:52,543 --> 01:24:55,126
and if I'm being honest,
not that good at soccer.
1805
01:24:55,126 --> 01:24:56,501
[kids laughing]
1806
01:24:56,501 --> 01:24:57,584
[Aaron] You suck!
1807
01:24:58,543 --> 01:25:00,584
And worst of all, because of you,
1808
01:25:01,293 --> 01:25:04,751
I ruined my friendship
with the one person that matters the most.
1809
01:25:05,668 --> 01:25:07,418
I need to tell her how bad I messed up.
1810
01:25:08,626 --> 01:25:09,668
Hey, hey, hey...
1811
01:25:09,668 --> 01:25:12,168
You gotta go up there and finish
your Torah portion before you go.
1812
01:25:12,168 --> 01:25:16,043
Come here. Give it your best shot,
and then we'll all fix this together.
1813
01:25:16,043 --> 01:25:18,251
Hopefully, after I take off
this itchy suit.
1814
01:25:18,918 --> 01:25:19,793
[Stacy chuckling]
1815
01:25:19,793 --> 01:25:21,043
You have coffee breath.
1816
01:25:21,043 --> 01:25:24,043
Okay. All right. Use that up there. Go.
1817
01:25:24,043 --> 01:25:28,626
Quickly, so quickly, so quickly.
1818
01:25:28,626 --> 01:25:30,334
So quickly.
1819
01:25:31,084 --> 01:25:32,793
[uplifting music playing]
1820
01:25:32,793 --> 01:25:34,793
[Stacy breathing shakily]
1821
01:25:36,709 --> 01:25:40,751
[in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe mi-dabeyr itam
1822
01:25:40,751 --> 01:25:42,834
Va-yiteyn al panav masveh.
1823
01:25:44,126 --> 01:25:48,584
Uv'vo Moshe lifney Adonai l'dabeyr ito
1824
01:25:48,584 --> 01:25:51,043
Ya-sir et ha-masveh ad tzeyto
1825
01:25:51,043 --> 01:25:57,751
V'yatza v'di-ber el b'ney Yisrael
et asher y'tzuveh.
1826
01:25:57,751 --> 01:26:02,126
V'ra-u v'ney Yisrael et p'ney Moshe
1827
01:26:02,126 --> 01:26:08,501
Ki karan or p'ney Moshe v'heysheev Moshe
1828
01:26:08,501 --> 01:26:11,334
Et ha-masveh al panav
1829
01:26:11,334 --> 01:26:16,543
ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1830
01:26:18,001 --> 01:26:18,876
I did it.
1831
01:26:19,501 --> 01:26:21,584
[all cheering]
1832
01:26:21,584 --> 01:26:23,543
Ya'sher koach! Now go!
1833
01:26:23,543 --> 01:26:26,168
["Reputation" by Radiant Baby playing]
1834
01:27:12,001 --> 01:27:13,084
[Stacy] Lydia!
1835
01:27:13,084 --> 01:27:14,376
[doorbell ringing]
1836
01:27:15,168 --> 01:27:17,001
[panting] Lydia.
1837
01:27:19,001 --> 01:27:19,918
Lydia.
1838
01:27:20,668 --> 01:27:22,043
Lydia, please open--
1839
01:27:23,793 --> 01:27:24,834
The Andy stuff.
1840
01:27:25,334 --> 01:27:27,459
I know you never hurt me on purpose.
1841
01:27:27,459 --> 01:27:29,584
I should have let you apologize.
1842
01:27:30,293 --> 01:27:33,584
I miss you, and I love you, and I'm sorry.
1843
01:27:33,584 --> 01:27:35,543
I've been a horrible, selfish friend.
1844
01:27:35,543 --> 01:27:37,418
Please, please forgive me.
1845
01:27:40,418 --> 01:27:43,293
Stacy, you ruined my Bat Mitzvah.
1846
01:27:43,293 --> 01:27:45,918
What part of that do you not understand?
I don't under-- Like--
1847
01:27:45,918 --> 01:27:48,043
- I know.
- Let me finish.
1848
01:27:48,626 --> 01:27:50,918
That day at the ledge,
I told you not to go.
1849
01:27:50,918 --> 01:27:53,001
I told you don't jump. You jumped.
1850
01:27:53,001 --> 01:27:54,793
Then the whole thing
ended up being my fault.
1851
01:27:54,793 --> 01:27:56,918
- Then I was the shitty friend?
- I'm sorry.
1852
01:27:56,918 --> 01:28:00,626
And I've known you liked Andy for, like,
a million years, but guess what, Stacy?
1853
01:28:00,626 --> 01:28:03,376
So has every other girl at our school,
including me,
1854
01:28:03,376 --> 01:28:06,501
but I never told you anything
because I knew it'd just make you upset.
1855
01:28:06,501 --> 01:28:11,293
And then, when you uninvited me to the day
I've been helping you plan forever,
1856
01:28:12,543 --> 01:28:14,251
I dated him to make you mad.
1857
01:28:14,959 --> 01:28:16,168
Until you ruined it.
1858
01:28:16,959 --> 01:28:19,209
Then you ruined your best friend's
most important day of her life.
1859
01:28:19,209 --> 01:28:21,001
So, yeah, I'm... I'm done here, Stacy.
1860
01:28:21,001 --> 01:28:22,751
Wait, you're right.
1861
01:28:23,501 --> 01:28:25,043
Yeah, I know.
1862
01:28:25,043 --> 01:28:29,543
Just come to my Bat Mitzvah party tonight.
I promise it'll be worth it. Please.
1863
01:28:32,293 --> 01:28:33,959
[dramatic music playing]
1864
01:28:34,918 --> 01:28:36,584
I'm gonna take that as a maybe.
1865
01:28:41,459 --> 01:28:42,418
Hello, again.
1866
01:28:45,543 --> 01:28:48,543
["Post Humorous" by Gus Dapperton playing]
1867
01:28:48,543 --> 01:28:49,626
Honey?
1868
01:28:50,543 --> 01:28:51,459
Hi, Mom.
1869
01:28:51,459 --> 01:28:53,376
[Bree] Your father called in
a lot of favors.
1870
01:28:53,376 --> 01:28:56,126
I think it's gonna work out
if she shows up.
1871
01:28:58,334 --> 01:28:59,501
Come on. Let me do it.
1872
01:29:04,293 --> 01:29:07,668
I know tonight's not exactly
what you dreamed it would be,
1873
01:29:07,668 --> 01:29:09,209
but I'm really proud of you.
1874
01:29:10,084 --> 01:29:10,918
Okay, go.
1875
01:29:10,918 --> 01:29:12,251
[both smacking lips]
1876
01:29:13,793 --> 01:29:14,668
[Bree] There.
1877
01:29:15,168 --> 01:29:16,168
[objects clattering]
1878
01:29:16,168 --> 01:29:17,876
- [Stacy] Hmm.
- Gorgeous.
1879
01:29:17,876 --> 01:29:18,959
[in accent] Thanks, doll.
1880
01:29:19,751 --> 01:29:21,084
[Stacy chuckling]
1881
01:29:21,793 --> 01:29:23,709
- I have something for you.
- Okay.
1882
01:29:26,209 --> 01:29:29,334
[Bree] Okay, now,
I know you may not like this, but...
1883
01:29:30,751 --> 01:29:32,918
[gasping] Really?
1884
01:29:33,501 --> 01:29:34,501
Thank you!
1885
01:29:35,001 --> 01:29:37,084
[Stacy groaning]
1886
01:29:37,084 --> 01:29:39,043
I think I'm gonna wear sneakers.
1887
01:29:39,043 --> 01:29:41,584
Oh my God, you're a woman.
You're a smart woman
1888
01:29:42,209 --> 01:29:43,418
Let's party!
1889
01:29:48,084 --> 01:29:50,084
[crowd cheering]
1890
01:29:50,084 --> 01:29:52,376
[dance music playing]
1891
01:29:52,376 --> 01:29:53,293
[door opening]
1892
01:29:53,793 --> 01:29:54,793
[Bree] Is she here?
1893
01:29:55,668 --> 01:29:57,668
[exhaling] I don't think she's coming.
1894
01:29:57,668 --> 01:29:58,834
Honey, she's gonna come.
1895
01:29:58,834 --> 01:30:00,793
[Schmuley] May I have your attention?
1896
01:30:00,793 --> 01:30:03,543
It's starting. What if she doesn't come?
Then everything's pointless.
1897
01:30:03,543 --> 01:30:04,709
[door opening]
1898
01:30:05,543 --> 01:30:06,793
[Danny] It's not pointless.
1899
01:30:06,793 --> 01:30:09,959
- I could've been working on my golf game!
- Oh, you're fine.
1900
01:30:09,959 --> 01:30:11,043
You made it.
1901
01:30:12,376 --> 01:30:13,293
I made it.
1902
01:30:13,959 --> 01:30:15,126
Perfect timing.
1903
01:30:15,126 --> 01:30:17,293
Just in time for your grand entrance.
1904
01:30:17,293 --> 01:30:20,043
[Schmuley] Listen guys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen...
1905
01:30:20,043 --> 01:30:21,334
No, Lydia...
1906
01:30:21,334 --> 01:30:25,876
Please give a very sweet welcome
to your Bat Mitzvah
1907
01:30:27,293 --> 01:30:30,418
Lydia Rodriguez Katz!
1908
01:30:30,418 --> 01:30:31,918
[Stacy] It's time for yours.
1909
01:30:32,876 --> 01:30:34,626
Stacy, what is this?
1910
01:30:35,126 --> 01:30:38,251
You deserve a perfect Bat Mitzvah.
One that no one ruins.
1911
01:30:39,001 --> 01:30:41,168
So you gave up your Bat Mitzvah for me?
1912
01:30:43,418 --> 01:30:44,959
Stacy, this was your dream.
1913
01:30:44,959 --> 01:30:46,334
It's our dream.
1914
01:30:46,334 --> 01:30:47,334
Stacy!
1915
01:30:48,626 --> 01:30:51,543
Yeah, Lydia! We love you!
1916
01:30:51,543 --> 01:30:52,959
We love you!
1917
01:30:55,418 --> 01:30:56,501
Go!
1918
01:30:56,501 --> 01:30:57,959
Okay.
1919
01:30:57,959 --> 01:30:59,709
[Stacy] Entrance. Beautiful.
1920
01:31:01,959 --> 01:31:04,334
[Schmuley] Lydia! Lydia! Lydia!
1921
01:31:04,334 --> 01:31:06,001
[crowd] Lydia!
1922
01:31:06,001 --> 01:31:08,126
[Schmuley] Come on, Lydia!
1923
01:31:10,459 --> 01:31:11,626
Go, Lydia!
1924
01:31:13,709 --> 01:31:15,918
[dramatic, uplifting music playing]
1925
01:31:28,418 --> 01:31:33,001
[Schmuley] All right! Make some noise
for Lydia and Stacy!
1926
01:31:33,001 --> 01:31:35,001
[crowd cheering]
1927
01:31:35,001 --> 01:31:38,084
- I'm not paying for this, right?
- Yeah. You are.
1928
01:31:38,084 --> 01:31:40,668
I'm kidding you. You're good. We got this.
1929
01:31:40,668 --> 01:31:45,584
- [Schmuley] Let's get this party started!
- Oh man.
1930
01:31:45,584 --> 01:31:48,126
["Party of a Lifetime" by Pitbull playing]
1931
01:31:49,459 --> 01:31:51,168
♪ It's your birthday every day ♪
1932
01:31:53,293 --> 01:31:54,668
♪ Every day your birthday ♪
1933
01:31:54,668 --> 01:31:57,459
♪ We gon' have a good time, all right ♪
1934
01:31:57,959 --> 01:32:00,209
[indistinct chatter on phone]
1935
01:32:03,209 --> 01:32:06,459
Guys, you're watching
Shawshank Redemp! [chuckling]
1936
01:32:06,459 --> 01:32:09,334
- I love that movie. Have you seen--
- [both] Yeah, we've seen it.
1937
01:32:09,334 --> 01:32:12,293
- Yeah, can you leave us alone?
- [both] Bye!
1938
01:32:14,251 --> 01:32:16,251
[dialogue from film playing]
1939
01:32:18,751 --> 01:32:20,376
You're the guy
from the movie theater, right?
1940
01:32:20,376 --> 01:32:21,459
I am.
1941
01:32:21,459 --> 01:32:23,084
Let me get some Twizzlers.
1942
01:32:23,584 --> 01:32:25,251
- Yeah, give me a lot.
- [man] On it.
1943
01:32:29,918 --> 01:32:31,793
- I just want one.
- Okay, my bad.
1944
01:32:31,793 --> 01:32:33,126
Hell's wrong with you?
1945
01:32:35,709 --> 01:32:38,459
All right, mishpachalah!
1946
01:32:38,459 --> 01:32:41,834
Who's ready
for some "Don't Stop Believing!"?
1947
01:32:41,834 --> 01:32:43,709
Yeah, let's go!
1948
01:32:45,418 --> 01:32:48,709
Of course you are, nerd,
and that's why I'm not going to play it.
1949
01:32:49,293 --> 01:32:52,584
I think it's time to slow things down
1950
01:32:52,584 --> 01:32:56,834
for a little love jam.
1951
01:32:56,834 --> 01:32:59,209
["Easy" by The Commodores playing]
1952
01:32:59,209 --> 01:33:03,334
♪ Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain ♪
1953
01:33:06,959 --> 01:33:11,293
♪ Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow ♪
1954
01:33:13,668 --> 01:33:17,918
♪ Seems to me, girl
You know I've done all I can ♪
1955
01:33:21,251 --> 01:33:25,459
♪ You see, I begged, stole
And I borrowed ♪
1956
01:33:26,293 --> 01:33:28,751
♪ That's why I'm easy ♪
1957
01:33:32,626 --> 01:33:35,293
♪ I'm easy like Sunday morning ♪
1958
01:33:35,293 --> 01:33:36,293
[Mateo] Hey.
1959
01:33:36,876 --> 01:33:38,293
Do you want to dance?
1960
01:33:39,209 --> 01:33:40,918
Well, what about Isabella?
1961
01:33:41,918 --> 01:33:42,834
Who?
1962
01:33:43,501 --> 01:33:45,543
Your 25-year-old girlfriend back
in Ecuador?
1963
01:33:45,543 --> 01:33:48,959
I just assumed her name
was something glamorous like Isabella.
1964
01:33:48,959 --> 01:33:50,668
I don't have a girlfriend.
1965
01:33:50,668 --> 01:33:53,418
You know, it's a weird rumor
I don't understand.
1966
01:33:54,834 --> 01:33:55,668
Oh.
1967
01:33:59,084 --> 01:34:01,293
[gasping] Ooh, how do you feel about that?
1968
01:34:01,293 --> 01:34:03,834
Your daughter's dancing
with a handsome young gentleman?
1969
01:34:03,834 --> 01:34:06,751
Um, surprisingly, I feel okay with it.
1970
01:34:06,751 --> 01:34:07,709
Really?
1971
01:34:07,709 --> 01:34:10,376
- You know what I don't feel good with?
- What?
1972
01:34:10,959 --> 01:34:13,251
- Rabbi Rebecca and Cantor Jerry.
- [Bree gasping]
1973
01:34:13,251 --> 01:34:14,168
[Danny] What is that?
1974
01:34:14,168 --> 01:34:16,084
[Bree] Ooh, work it, Rabbi.
1975
01:34:16,084 --> 01:34:19,251
Yeah. That should be against
every religion right there.
1976
01:34:19,251 --> 01:34:21,251
- Yeah. [laughing]
- What are they doing?
1977
01:34:24,543 --> 01:34:26,876
{\an8}Okay, that's enough of the slow stuff.
1978
01:34:26,876 --> 01:34:30,251
- Let's make some noise everybody!
- [crowd cheering]
1979
01:34:30,251 --> 01:34:31,584
Are you ready?
1980
01:34:31,584 --> 01:34:33,668
["Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper playing]
1981
01:34:34,751 --> 01:34:36,834
[all clapping rhythmically]
1982
01:34:36,834 --> 01:34:38,043
♪ Funky ♪
1983
01:34:39,334 --> 01:34:42,959
♪ Everybody clap your hands ♪
1984
01:34:45,209 --> 01:34:48,209
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
1985
01:34:48,918 --> 01:34:50,584
So today, I'm an adult,
1986
01:34:51,084 --> 01:34:53,168
and honestly, it's wonderful.
1987
01:34:54,459 --> 01:34:57,209
I know this is just the first chapter
of my grown-up life,
1988
01:34:57,209 --> 01:34:59,626
and it might not always be this great,
1989
01:34:59,626 --> 01:35:02,043
but if it was, that would also be great.
1990
01:35:02,543 --> 01:35:04,043
I mean, no pressure.
1991
01:35:04,043 --> 01:35:05,918
Not like I could pressure you.
1992
01:35:06,751 --> 01:35:07,709
Just saying.
1993
01:35:07,709 --> 01:35:09,543
[uplifting music playing]
1994
01:35:09,543 --> 01:35:11,501
And I know what you're thinking,
1995
01:35:11,501 --> 01:35:14,626
that giving up my party
for Lydia was my mitzvah project.
1996
01:35:16,918 --> 01:35:18,334
But that's not a mitzvah.
1997
01:35:20,126 --> 01:35:21,751
That's just being a best friend.
1998
01:35:22,584 --> 01:35:23,626
[music fades]
1999
01:35:23,626 --> 01:35:24,918
♪ Yeah, turn it up ♪
2000
01:35:24,918 --> 01:35:27,001
["Over You" by HOLYCHILD playing]
2001
01:35:28,418 --> 01:35:31,043
Welcome to Mitzvah Bakery.
All proceeds go to charity.
2002
01:35:31,043 --> 01:35:35,126
[Stacy] Helping others, being selfless,
taking the bad and making it good...
2003
01:35:35,126 --> 01:35:36,918
- Breadsticks for four dollars.
- Four dollars.
2004
01:35:36,918 --> 01:35:38,168
[Stacy] That's a mitzvah.
2005
01:35:39,001 --> 01:35:40,209
[girl] Stacy, you did this?
2006
01:35:40,209 --> 01:35:42,459
- This is so dope.
- What are you gonna get?
2007
01:35:42,459 --> 01:35:46,626
[Stacy] Okay, obviously you know that.
You're God, which you also know.
2008
01:35:48,043 --> 01:35:49,584
Make sure you say Hamotzi.
2009
01:35:49,584 --> 01:35:52,043
And for one piece, 24 dollars.
2010
01:35:52,043 --> 01:35:52,959
[girl chuckling]
2011
01:35:52,959 --> 01:35:55,084
[Stacy] Anyway,
thanks for being patient with me.
2012
01:35:55,084 --> 01:35:56,918
I'm really glad I'm a part of this.
2013
01:35:56,918 --> 01:35:58,668
- Ooh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
2014
01:35:58,668 --> 01:35:59,959
You're very, very welcome!
2015
01:35:59,959 --> 01:36:02,376
[Stacy] Okay, I'll get back to you.
Selling bread.
2016
01:36:02,376 --> 01:36:04,626
Now we're talking mitzvah!
2017
01:36:04,626 --> 01:36:08,293
♪ I'm so hopeless and over you ♪
2018
01:36:08,293 --> 01:36:12,084
♪ Think that you know it too ♪
2019
01:36:16,834 --> 01:36:21,668
♪ I say that it's over ♪
2020
01:36:22,251 --> 01:36:27,043
♪ But here I'm still singing ♪
2021
01:36:27,043 --> 01:36:28,876
♪ Play me something juicy ♪
2022
01:36:28,876 --> 01:36:32,001
["Breakfast for Dinner"
by Winnetka Bowling League playing]
2023
01:39:16,668 --> 01:39:17,543
[song fades]
2024
01:39:17,543 --> 01:39:19,626
[upbeat, contemplative music playing]
2025
01:41:31,959 --> 01:41:33,543
[music fades]