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00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,958
{\an8}[Stacy] All across the world,
2
00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:28,541
{\an8}and maybe ever since
the beginning of time,
3
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:32,250
{\an8}different cultures had different ways
of celebrating a kid coming of age.
4
00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:35,291
{\an8}There's the quinceañera.
5
00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,375
{\an8}- There's Sweet 16.
- [indistinct laughter]
6
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:40,875
{\an8}[Stacy] There's also something
called land diving.
7
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,166
My dad told me that
in the Brazilian Amazon,
8
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,458
there's this thing called
a bullet ant initiation
9
00:00:46,541 --> 00:00:49,666
where fire ants crawl all over your hands
and bite you.
10
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,375
And if you can handle the pain,
you're ready to be a man.
11
00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:54,625
I told him if he thinks that sounds bad,
12
00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,166
try being a girl in middle school.
13
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,958
["10 Things I Hate About You"
by Leah Kate playing]
14
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:03,833
[Stacy] Everyone has their own thing.
15
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:06,916
And we have ours.
16
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,291
[song ends abruptly]
17
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,916
- [dramatic music playing]
- [in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe...
18
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,375
[Stacy, narrating] At a Bar or Bat Mitzvah,
when you're 13,
19
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:22,625
you step before friends,
family, and elders of the temple
20
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,041
and read from the Torah.
21
00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:27,208
Then, there's usually a party.
22
00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,791
All right, mishpachah,
23
00:01:29,875 --> 00:01:34,666
please say hello
to our newest and most fabulous adult,
24
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:38,750
Stacy Friedman!
25
00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,958
- [crowd cheering]
- [house music playing]
26
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,684
[Stacy, narrating] Your Bat Mitzvah
is the first day of your adult life,
27
00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:47,875
and everyone knows an iconic adult life
hinges on how it starts.
28
00:01:49,291 --> 00:01:52,500
["I Love It" by Charli XCX playing]
♪ I don't care, I love it ♪
29
00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:53,783
{\an8}[Stacy, continuing] The theme.
30
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,083
- The food.
- [girl] Can I get one?
31
00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,625
[Stacy] The entrance video.
32
00:01:58,291 --> 00:01:59,833
It all tells a story.
33
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,125
Who do I want to be?
34
00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:06,125
Will I have amazing lifelong friends
like Lydia Rodriguez Katz?
35
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:13,000
Nothing before that day matters
because that was the old you, the kid you.
36
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,083
Now you're an adult.
37
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:18,750
So who cares if two years ago
you accidentally peed yourself
38
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,666
during a field trip and had to get
a secret dry pants delivery
39
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,750
from your awesome older sister Ronnie?
40
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:26,333
This is a hypothetical situation
of course.
41
00:02:26,916 --> 00:02:27,916
♪ I love it ♪
42
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,375
Go Stacy! That's my sister!
43
00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:32,583
[Stacy] And what better way
to kick off adulthood
44
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,791
than with the hottest guy
in seventh grade?
45
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:35,916
♪ I love it ♪
46
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,333
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
47
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:44,291
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
48
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,583
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
49
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,625
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
50
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,333
Andy, what are you doing?
51
00:02:50,958 --> 00:02:55,958
Stacy, I've loved you since the first time
I saw you in the temple's Purim Pageant.
52
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:59,458
You were the finest Queen Esther
I ever laid eyes on.
53
00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:04,083
Is it okay if I officially signify me
being your boyfriend by giving you a kiss?
54
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,208
[camera shutter clicking]
55
00:03:07,916 --> 00:03:09,916
Consent given, Andy Goldfarb.
56
00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,541
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] Stacy!
57
00:03:16,666 --> 00:03:17,500
[Stacy sighing]
58
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,791
[Bree] Stacy,
we're gonna be late. Let's go.
59
00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:21,875
[upbeat music playing]
60
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,392
- [knocking on door]
- [Bree] I know you can hear me.
61
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:29,916
[sighing] One second,
I'm flossing like you tell me to!
62
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,541
- Now I'm gurgling.
- Well, hurry up!
63
00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:34,750
- You too, Ronnie!
- [Ronnie] I'm ready!
64
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:37,250
You always say that. Never ready.
65
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:40,053
- Ugh. Fine you got me. I'm not ready.
- [Danny] Yankees are winning.
66
00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:42,041
[Bree] That's what you're wearing?
67
00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:44,726
Yeah, I don't even know who this kid is.
I'm not gonna wear a suit.
68
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,625
It's a junior high friend.
We have to get to know those parents too.
69
00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:50,184
I don't want to get to know 'em.
I liked when they were little.
70
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,583
All we had to know was them
and the trampoline park guy.
71
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,916
Ronnie, we're gonna be late!
72
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,250
I'll be ready when Stacy's ready, Mom.
It's all good.
73
00:03:57,416 --> 00:04:00,541
Hey, Andy, of course I'll share
a matzo ball soup with you.
74
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:02,958
[Stacy groaning]
75
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,083
Hi, Andy. I like your yarmulke.
76
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:08,684
I didn't know you were going
to the Bat Mitzvah tonight, that's cool.
77
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,250
Honey, what are you looking for?
78
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,500
I can't find my earring.
79
00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:13,291
Oh, good luck.
80
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:16,416
Keep looking, baby.
Keep looking. Take your time.
81
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,750
Stacy!
82
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,375
Sorry, I'm coming!
83
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:25,666
[exhaling sharply]
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00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:29,333
[music fading]
85
00:04:30,416 --> 00:04:31,666
[Ronnie] Those are cool.
86
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:34,750
- Mom will never let you wear them, though.
- [Stacy] She won't even notice.
87
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:37,083
And if she does,
I'll put on a sad show for Dad.
88
00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:38,875
Oh, she'll notice. She'll hate them.
89
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:42,500
And Dad will feel bad, but ultimately
be too afraid to stand up to Mom.
90
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,166
I've known them longer than you.
91
00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:49,791
Um, excuse me,
what are those things on your feet?
92
00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:52,375
Lydia's mom bought us each a pair,
so we could twin.
93
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,750
What's twin?
94
00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,791
Wearing the same thing.
It's very seventh grade.
95
00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:57,625
Take them off. You look like a stripper.
96
00:04:57,708 --> 00:05:00,375
- Mom, you can't say that.
- Yeah, Mom. You're gonna get cancelled.
97
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:01,458
Oh boy.
98
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,750
Take them off or lose your phone.
99
00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,458
[objects clattering]
100
00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:06,958
[anticipatory music playing]
101
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,250
Oh.
102
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,791
No, you can't. Just take them off.
103
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,208
[Bree] Everyone in the car.
104
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:21,875
Thirty seconds or there's going
to be no food left at this thing.
105
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:23,750
You're the one who's not ready.
We're ready.
106
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:27,041
- I don't know where my earring is.
- Babe, did you look everywhere? Honestly?
107
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,375
'Cause if you look hard enough,
you can find it.
108
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:30,916
Why would you do that to me?
109
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,958
Because I knew the girls needed more time.
110
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,166
I also... I don't want to go
to this thing at all.
111
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,142
- [Bree] You guys are the worst.
- Yeah. I love you. Okay.
112
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,684
Come on, Mom, just let her wear the shoes.
113
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,916
It's not fair to Lydia
to make her wear them by herself.
114
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,000
Okay. You're going to hate them
in two minutes.
115
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,000
You're welcome.
116
00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:47,250
Thank you. Love you.
117
00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,250
[Stacy squealing]
118
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:52,083
[Stacy muttering, groaning]
119
00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:54,000
[upbeat music playing]
120
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:56,416
- Whoa. Ow!
- [woman] Stacy!
121
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,916
I'm coming!
122
00:05:59,041 --> 00:06:00,250
Ugh, fine.
123
00:06:04,833 --> 00:06:06,208
[man] Move, child!
124
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:07,333
[Stacy] Coming, sorry!
125
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:09,291
- [Bree] Oh yeah!
- [Danny] Oh, nice job.
126
00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:11,735
[Bree] Taking after Dad
with the dress clothes and sneakers.
127
00:06:11,791 --> 00:06:13,916
[Danny] Comfort always
comes first, sweetie.
128
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,958
- There she is!
- [Bree] She's limping. Hi, sweetheart!
129
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,125
- [Stacy] Hi, Lyd!
- Lydia, Lydia encyclopedia.
130
00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:23,125
[Lydia] Hi, guys!
131
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,768
Nice shoes. You look super cute, Lydia.
132
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:27,250
Oh, thanks, Ron Ron.
Stacy and I are twinning.
133
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,250
We heard.
134
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:29,916
Hmm. Not anymore. [chuckling]
135
00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:32,166
- You took yours off.
- I got you.
136
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:35,333
- Oh, thank you. I couldn't feel my feet.
- Mom and Dad know we're taking you?
137
00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:38,625
Well, I told my mom, and then she told
Dad's lawyer, so we're good to go.
138
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:41,416
["Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo"
by Rick Derringer playing]
139
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,541
Nice!
140
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:46,041
Ugh! Dad, can you turn this song off?
It's embarrassing.
141
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:48,291
Why is it embarrassing?
No one's around to hear it.
142
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,375
Oh my God! You're humiliating me!
143
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,333
All right! I'll turn it off. Jesus.
144
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:55,291
[Stacy crying]
145
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:58,291
I turned it off, guys!
What are we still upset about?
146
00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:01,250
Their watching sad videos
to see who can cry first.
147
00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:05,916
You're trying to cry. That is so bizarre.
148
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,000
[affectionate chatter on screen]
149
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:12,000
Ugh! You're so freaking good at this game.
I hate it.
150
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,875
Everybody in this house needs a shrink.
151
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,083
Yeah, you need two.
152
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:16,000
Ten.
153
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:18,000
[chuckling] That's nice.
154
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:20,541
Everyone be normal. We're going to temple.
155
00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:21,750
Here's your music.
156
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,416
["Stupid Love" by Lady Gaga playing]
157
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:33,416
[DJ] Make some noise, mishpachah!
158
00:07:35,708 --> 00:07:37,541
Woohoo!
159
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,791
It's Devin's B'nai Mitzvah!
160
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:43,958
They're becoming an adult.
Let's hear it for Devin!
161
00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,791
We've been pushing all the teachers
to assign more homework.
162
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,916
If we want to prepare our kids
for this world, we gotta start 'em early.
163
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,708
India's been kicking our ass.
164
00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:53,976
- I'm always telling my son, Marvin...
- [Danny] I'm sorry.
165
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,083
Can I interrupt you for one second?
I think this is on behalf of the table.
166
00:07:57,166 --> 00:08:00,875
We came here
to enjoy chicken and fish tonight
167
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,750
and maybe have a few drinks,
so could you stop talking?
168
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,250
♪ I want your stupid love ♪
169
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:07,333
[Danny] Thank you.
170
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:09,041
Wow!
171
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000
[creepy music playing]
172
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,708
This is such a classic.
Have you watched Leprechaun in the Hood?
173
00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:19,208
Dude, that's a masterpiece.
174
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:23,333
We know. We've seen it. It was awful.
Can you just let us watch our movie?
175
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:24,583
Bye!
176
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,250
That hurt.
177
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:29,666
- We've seen that?
- No.
178
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:30,916
[both chuckling]
179
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,708
Okay, I love this Carnivale theme,
180
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:35,250
but your Candyland theme
is gonna be the best of the year.
181
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:38,916
Oh, until your New York theme
puts the entire school to shame!
182
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,458
If my parents let me have it.
183
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,416
Did your dad talk to DJ Schmuley yet?
184
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,916
Let me hear you scream,
"DJ Schmuley is my king!"
185
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,166
[crowd] DJ Schmuley is my king!
186
00:08:48,916 --> 00:08:51,125
- He's already been booked. We got it!
- Sweet!
187
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:52,934
["Preach" by Saint Motel playing
over speakers]
188
00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,750
Looking nice, ladies!
189
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:56,000
- [Lydia] Hi, guys.
- Hi.
190
00:08:56,083 --> 00:08:57,963
Can you believe
we're becoming adults this year?
191
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,875
- No.
- [Nikki] Yeah.
192
00:08:58,958 --> 00:09:01,333
My mom actually let me shave
my legs this afternoon.
193
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,625
First time. So magical.
194
00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:05,125
Oh, I'm so proud of you, Nikki!
195
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:08,208
It burns so bad right now, like somebody
wiped wasabi all over my shins.
196
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:09,541
Oh.
197
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:10,916
Oh my God.
198
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,750
[Tara] Why do Kym, Anya,
and Megan always look so cool?
199
00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:15,375
Are those birds rescued?
200
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,291
- Say what?
- They better be.
201
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:19,583
- They scare me.
- Yeah, you know what else is scary?
202
00:09:19,666 --> 00:09:23,250
Nikki's mom is allowing Ronnie and Zaara
to drink alcohol!
203
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,666
One, two, three. Woo!
204
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:29,250
[exclaiming]
205
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,059
- Okay, let me hide those.
- [Ronnie coughing]
206
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:33,500
Yeah, she's trying to be like a cool mom.
It's really weird.
207
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:34,833
[Andy] Let's go!
208
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,750
Oh my God,
Andy Goldfarb looks so cute tonight.
209
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,000
♪ Let's go ♪
210
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:48,333
Do you realize
that one day he will be mine,
211
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,125
and you will have a cool boyfriend too,
212
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:53,625
and then we'll have a joint wedding
and move to adjoining lofts in Tribeca?
213
00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,333
In Taylor Swift's building?
214
00:09:55,416 --> 00:09:56,666
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
215
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:57,750
[giggling]
216
00:09:57,791 --> 00:09:58,666
I'm gonna talk to him.
217
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,101
- [Lydia] What?
- [Stacy] I'm ready.
218
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,541
You should, Stace. Yeah, you got this.
219
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:03,625
Come with me, please.
220
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:04,541
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
221
00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:06,375
Go, go, go. You got this.
222
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:07,625
Gang way!
223
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,291
Hey, wait for me!
224
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,375
- No! You're embarrassing me.
- Yes!
225
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:14,041
["Under Your Spell" by Desire playing]
226
00:10:15,041 --> 00:10:18,500
♪ I don't eat, I don't sleep ♪
227
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:23,125
♪ I do nothing but think of you ♪
228
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,333
♪ You keep me under your spell ♪
229
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:27,791
♪ You keep me under your... ♪
230
00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:28,875
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
231
00:10:28,958 --> 00:10:29,958
[song stops]
232
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:31,750
I like your kicks.
233
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,208
Andy, smile!
234
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:40,250
[girl] Finish him!
235
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:50,750
Why would Mateo do that?
That was so uncalled for.
236
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:51,750
Oh, sorry.
237
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:53,083
Completely. Sorry.
238
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,726
Why does Andy hang out
with that Italian exchange student anyway?
239
00:10:55,791 --> 00:10:57,041
I think he's Ecuadorian.
240
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:59,750
Whatever. I heard he has a girlfriend
back home. She's in college.
241
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,833
Um, no. I think that's, like, illegal.
242
00:11:01,916 --> 00:11:03,916
- [It roaring]
- [Zaara screaming]
243
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,458
- Oh my God!
- [crowd gasping]
244
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,291
- [Zaara] Sorry.
- What's wrong with you?
245
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:10,666
- Why would you do that? So embarrassing.
- I'm sorry.
246
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,833
All right, everybody, make some noise!
247
00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:18,708
♪ If you don't wanna see me
Dancing with somebody ♪
248
00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:20,750
["Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa playing]
249
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,666
♪ If you wanna believe... ♪
250
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,625
Come on, let's dance, everybody! Come on!
251
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:31,500
♪ Don't show up, don't come out ♪
252
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,291
♪ Don't start caring about me now ♪
253
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,625
- [Schmuley] Let me hear you scream, Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
254
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:41,958
- Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
255
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:43,267
- Schmu, Schmu...
- [crowd] Ley!
256
00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:45,375
Why does everybody like this idiot?
257
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,041
- He's the best!
- The best.
258
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:51,458
- You've been officially Schmulitized!
- [crowd cheering]
259
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:52,875
[music fades]
260
00:11:52,958 --> 00:11:54,758
[Stacy] Thank you family
for joining us today.
261
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,791
Let me take you all on a journey.
262
00:11:58,875 --> 00:12:01,791
Picture this. My entrance video starts...
263
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:05,416
Which, as we know,
sets the tone for the entire Bat Mitzvah.
264
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,375
- [Stacy] Mm-hmm.
- [man shouting]
265
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:09,375
- [Stacy] Ugh, Ronnie!
- Girls, come on.
266
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:13,666
Anyway, I descend the stairs
of a private yacht on the Hudson River
267
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,708
to cheers and fireworks.
268
00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:16,958
Whoa.
269
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,458
Then! Oh, who's that zipping by
on a jet ski?
270
00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:23,083
Why that's international recording artist
Olivia Rodrigo.
271
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,083
Wait, how we gonna pay for this?
272
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:26,000
Oh, we have ideas.
273
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:27,541
They... they got ideas, honey.
274
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,750
[Lydia] Okay.
275
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,833
No. Wait. No. The old guy
was supposed to be for your dad.
276
00:12:32,916 --> 00:12:34,125
Oh no. Just keep going.
277
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:35,208
[girls muttering]
278
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:36,833
- There.
- Okay.
279
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,958
Oh, this is amazing.
280
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,750
- Shut up, Ronnie.
- No, you shut up.
281
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:41,875
I'll kill you, Ronnie.
282
00:12:41,958 --> 00:12:43,666
Not if I stab you first!
283
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:44,958
Oh, that's... that's nice.
284
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:48,625
Oh my God, this is important!
I'm becoming a freaking woman, everyone!
285
00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:52,041
Okay, woman. All you should worry about
right now is your mitzvah project
286
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,541
and practicing your Haftarah.
287
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,458
- [Bree] Mm-hmm.
- That's not important!
288
00:12:57,208 --> 00:13:00,916
I mean, it is important to you
and other old people and God and stuff.
289
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,583
But to me, the party is important.
290
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:06,708
If this doesn't go well,
I could end up like Kate Kossman.
291
00:13:06,791 --> 00:13:08,500
You are not gonna end up
like Kate Kossman.
292
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:09,875
Who's Kate Kossman?
293
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:13,583
Oh, she had this terrible medieval themed
Bat Mitzvah called Kate Kossman Knights,
294
00:13:13,666 --> 00:13:15,916
not realizing
the initials spelled out KKK.
295
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,958
Yeah, no, I could see
that being a problem. Okay.
296
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:21,041
So now, she just sits alone in
the cafeteria sewing friendship bracelets
297
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:24,541
for literally no one
because she has no friends.
298
00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:25,916
That sounds a little dramatic.
299
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,583
Oh, so you think you shouldn't be
punished for promoting the KKK.
300
00:13:29,666 --> 00:13:32,041
Wow, Mom,
didn't realize you supported racism.
301
00:13:32,125 --> 00:13:33,041
Oh boy.
302
00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:34,125
[Stacy] Hear me out.
303
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:37,208
You're always saying how my Bat Mitzvah
determines the rest of my life.
304
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:39,333
And I think Dua Lipa
would make my life perfect.
305
00:13:39,416 --> 00:13:42,916
No. No famous pop stars,
no yachts, no sailboats even.
306
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,541
That's so unfair!
Ronnie got a baked potato bar at hers!
307
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,958
Listen, when I got Bar Mitzvahed,
we had a party in Grandma's basement.
308
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,041
We all split, like, this giant matzo ball.
309
00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:51,958
That was the fun.
310
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,250
You know what the theme was? Being Jewish.
311
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,041
Just practice your prayers
and write your speech already.
312
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:59,458
Oh, I've been doing that Mr. Friedman.
It's all covered.
313
00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:01,708
You're writing Stacy's speech?
314
00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:04,392
- You know I'm not good at writing.
- English is her worst subject.
315
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,583
It's really bad.
316
00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:07,708
- Stacy, that is so not okay.
- [Lydia] It's fine.
317
00:14:07,791 --> 00:14:10,875
She's gonna do my entrance video.
I know she'll crush it. Don't worry.
318
00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:14,208
Can I at least have a virgin mojito bar?
319
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:15,750
You can have a ball pit.
320
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,458
Oh my God, Dad. That's for kids!
321
00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:19,666
I've had my period for seven months now!
322
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,375
[chuckling] Wait, Stacy.
323
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:23,208
That's a long period, sweetheart!
324
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,666
You know what? I'm gonna head out.
325
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:27,791
I'll drive you.
326
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:29,515
[Lydia] Love you. See you in the morning.
327
00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:31,250
Don't worry, Dad. It'll be okay.
328
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:33,791
She's growing up so fast. It's crazy.
329
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,083
[Ronnie] I'm drinking now.
330
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,916
I tried it the other day.
I didn't like it. We're good.
331
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,250
[door closing]
332
00:14:41,291 --> 00:14:43,625
[Stacy, in Hebrew]
Va-y'chal Mosh...
333
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:46,308
- [Stacy sighs frustratedly]
- [recording, in Hebrew] Va-y'chal...
334
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:47,851
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, what's up?
335
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:50,708
Stacy Friedman here,
but I guess you already know that.
336
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,708
And I guess you already know
what I'm going to say.
337
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:57,666
But just to be super safe,
I'm going to say it anyway.
338
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:02,250
I would really, really appreciate it
if I could have an amazing Bat Mitzvah.
339
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:03,666
[contemplative music playing]
340
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,958
And I know I need
to do my mitzvah project.
341
00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:10,458
But isn't a mitzvah project supposed to be
giving back in a way that represents me?
342
00:15:10,541 --> 00:15:12,416
Which is why I don't know what to do.
343
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,500
I mean, I'm not popular.
344
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,041
I'm not a loser.
345
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,583
I don't know who I am.
346
00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:23,583
But I do know,
if I have a kick-ass Bat Mitzvah,
347
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:27,583
doors would open,
and I can have a fab life on my own terms.
348
00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:29,416
[woman] No. No famous pop stars.
349
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,750
[man] You can have a ball pit.
350
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:33,708
[Stacy] A ball pit? Lydia's
gonna get everything she asked for.
351
00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:35,708
Even a Twizzlers station for me.
352
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,416
I'm starting
to worry Mom and Dad don't get it,
353
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,458
and the whole thing's gonna suck.
354
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,250
[music fades]
355
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,583
[Stacy whimpering]
356
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,416
- [Stacy] You had her phone the whole time?
- [Lydia] No, she was lying.
357
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,916
- The audacity.
- The monster.
358
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,166
Yeah.
359
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,083
- Can we sit outside? It's a nice day.
- No.
360
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,846
I mean, I definitely could use some color.
361
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:59,333
- Yeah, it's true.
- Is that Tory Burch?
362
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:03,541
Oh no, it's Walmart. I got this
and a water bottle for only $12.
363
00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:04,875
I was talking to her.
364
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,416
[shushing]
365
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:08,916
M-me?
366
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,041
Your skirt.
367
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:12,375
Uh, yeah, it is Tory Burch.
368
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:16,041
My mom is trying to spend all
my dad's money before the next court date.
369
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:19,750
I'm pretty sure I saw Hailey Bieber
wearing the exact same one.
370
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:22,291
[softly] Oh cool. Okay. Bye.
371
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:24,375
[indistinct chatter]
372
00:16:24,916 --> 00:16:26,083
That was weird.
373
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:29,083
- I love and hate them at the same time.
- [sighing] Yeah.
374
00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:30,625
What just happened?
375
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,666
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
376
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,750
♪ Wait a minute ♪
377
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:46,583
♪ I think I left my conscience
On your front-door step ♪
378
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:49,791
♪ Whoa ♪
379
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,250
- [song stops]
- [pop music playing on phone]
380
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:55,541
So get this. I heard Megan's
doing her mitzvah project next weekend.
381
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,265
She's passing out sunscreen at Coachella.
382
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:59,166
- What? Wow.
- [Stacy] So cool.
383
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,090
Guys, I have to come up
with something amazing.
384
00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:02,375
This is so much pressure.
385
00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:05,875
How long do you think it takes to become
a social activist influencer on TikTok?
386
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,375
Uh, six months?
387
00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:08,750
Too long. [sighing]
388
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:11,708
You know what?
We just need to chill our brains.
389
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:14,267
What are you doing Saturday?
My mom's out of town this weekend.
390
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:15,541
Why? You gonna throw a party?
391
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,625
A dork party?
392
00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:17,833
[all chuckling]
393
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:19,791
What if I did?
394
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,416
Well, I mean, my dad's out of town.
395
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,458
Now, you could actually throw a party.
396
00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:27,458
You could invite the whole seventh grade
and not exclude anybody.
397
00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:31,791
Oh, come on. Wouldn't it be fun to exclude
people instead of being excluded for once?
398
00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:33,958
["Wait A Minute!" by WILLOW playing]
399
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:46,708
[Andy] Heads up!
400
00:17:46,791 --> 00:17:48,166
- [Stacy grunting]
- [all gasping]
401
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,666
[Lydia] Ay dios mío.
402
00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,458
Stace, Stace, Stace, Stace? Are you okay?
403
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,250
- [kids gasping]
- Oh shit.
404
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:55,708
That doesn't look good.
405
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:57,083
You have grass in your hair.
406
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,333
[Mateo] Stacy.
407
00:17:58,416 --> 00:17:59,583
Are you okay?
408
00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:00,916
[Andy] That's my bad!
409
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,041
[dreamy music playing]
410
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,125
You good?
411
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:09,875
Yeah. Sorry about that.
412
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:16,750
- Have some water.
- [music stops]
413
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,208
Oh my God. That was perfect.
414
00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:21,541
He went... And then you went.
415
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,875
- You guys are meant to be.
- [Stacy chuckling]
416
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,791
Hey, are your legs okay, Nikki?
417
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:28,750
They're fine, Mateo. Just relax.
418
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,833
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
419
00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:34,541
[kids clamoring]
420
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,625
[indistinct chatter]
421
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:39,625
[Lydia] Really?
422
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:43,416
Oh, by the way, Dad invited
the dry cleaner to the Bat Mitzvah, Stacy.
423
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,125
What? No, that's so unfair.
424
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,625
The ratio to old people to normal people
is already so unbalanced.
425
00:18:48,708 --> 00:18:51,208
Why is that kid Mateo going
to Hebrew school?
426
00:18:52,125 --> 00:18:55,500
Maybe he wanted to convert
and take some Jewish holidays off?
427
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:56,916
[all chuckling]
428
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,440
[Lydia] You gonna invite him, Stace?
429
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,958
Mateo? No, I barely know him.
430
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,333
You know, if you invite Mateo,
Andy might come.
431
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:05,250
[electronic music playing over radio]
432
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,166
[vocalizing]
433
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,791
Have fun learning!
434
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,500
Love you!
435
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,583
["Tongue Tied" by Grouplove playing]
436
00:19:12,666 --> 00:19:13,916
Oh shit!
437
00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:16,333
[Schmuley yelling]
438
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,541
Are you on dru...
439
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,625
[both] Take me to your best friend's house
440
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:23,958
Goin' round this roundabout, oh yeah
441
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,583
- [boy] Thank you.
- [Lydia] Good job, guys.
442
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,291
- Manishmah.
- Hi.
443
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:30,875
- Shalom, you two.
- Shalom.
444
00:19:30,958 --> 00:19:33,708
[Lydia] Oh, this looks really good.
I am not that creative...
445
00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:35,750
I was not good at arts and crafts,
like, at all.
446
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:37,541
- I like your outfit, Ashley.
- Thank you.
447
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:38,833
Oh yeah, it's really cute.
448
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,041
[girl] Look who's coming out
of the make out closet.
449
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:42,726
[Stacy] Oh my God,
were they hooking up in there?
450
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,875
How do they not get caught?
There's literally so many people around.
451
00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:51,375
Would you believe when I was your age,
I was in a Jewish rock and roll band?
452
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:56,333
We called ourselves Exodus
because Genesis was already taken.
453
00:19:57,166 --> 00:19:58,541
I'm sorry, Aaron, am I boring you?
454
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,958
[Aaron] What? No...
I was listening, Cantor Jerry.
455
00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:02,083
[Nikki] Stace, Lyd!
456
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,208
[upbeat music playing]
457
00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:05,500
- You look so cute. You guys good?
- [Nikki] Yes.
458
00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:07,250
- The pole!
- Pole!
459
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,791
Oh, wait, how's your Torah portion going?
460
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,583
It's like 6,000 pages long.
461
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:14,250
Why did my parents pick
the third week of August?
462
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,958
But mine's literally, like, a minute
and a half long. Thank you, June 10th!
463
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:21,291
Chop-chop, ladies! Curtain's up in five!
464
00:20:21,375 --> 00:20:25,208
I like to think of Hebrew school
as a little performance I give.
465
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:28,958
Your prayer book is the playbill,
and I'm the star, cutie-pops.
466
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:29,875
[girls giggling]
467
00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:33,000
Giving you a bit of the ole razzle-dazzle.
You know what I'm saying?
468
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,923
Kidding. Come one, class is starting.
Let's go!
469
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,083
[girl 2] Rabbi Rebecca!
470
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,434
- Can we please have snacks?
- You want some latkes and gefilte fish?
471
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,375
She's insane.
472
00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:40,833
I know. I love her. [giggling]
473
00:20:40,916 --> 00:20:43,166
"And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle."
474
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,583
- Very nice.
- Very good.
475
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,000
Thank you. Thank you very much.
476
00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:47,125
[indistinct chatter]
477
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:49,416
- Is she serious? Oh my God.
- I know, right?
478
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,250
I really want a cloud.
Like, I want to taste a cloud.
479
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,625
- You want what?
- I want to taste a cloud.
480
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:56,148
I want to taste a cloud. That's all.
481
00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:58,128
- [Lydia] It seems...
- [Andy] Yo. You good, bro?
482
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,166
Yeah. Why?
483
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,333
Uh, your head from earlier.
484
00:21:05,416 --> 00:21:06,708
Head injuries are no joke.
485
00:21:06,791 --> 00:21:09,458
One time I barfed at soccer
from a concussion.
486
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:11,791
Did you barf?
487
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,083
No. I didn't.
488
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,583
Tight.
489
00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,666
- All right, shabbat shalom!
- [class] Shabbat shalom.
490
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:25,958
[Rebecca] How's everyone feeling?
We having the time of our lives right now?
491
00:21:26,041 --> 00:21:27,958
You guys start your mitzvah projects yet?
492
00:21:28,041 --> 00:21:29,833
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
493
00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:33,916
No? It's the most important part
of this whole thing.
494
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:39,250
It's when you do something menschie
for your community, for society at-large.
495
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:42,333
What? You guys don't care
about society at-large?
496
00:21:42,416 --> 00:21:44,208
- [class] No.
- Yeah.
497
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:48,875
All right, how about we pick up where
we left off with our old buddy, David.
498
00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:50,000
Remember him?
499
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:54,833
Homeboy was about to get his groove on
with the foxy Bathsheba
500
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:57,250
even though she was married
to someone else.
501
00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:59,791
[scoffing] What a snake David is!
502
00:21:59,875 --> 00:22:00,958
You a snake, Aaron?
503
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:03,250
N-no.
504
00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:05,458
You ever pull something like that?
Cheat on your wife?
505
00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:11,916
- M-me?
- Dude, I'm messing around with you. Relax!
506
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,125
You're sweating, my goodness.
507
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,125
You're not a snake, Aaron. You're awesome.
508
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:18,248
Look at that arm hair
and mustache coming in strong.
509
00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:20,208
Baruch HaShem, Aaron. Let's go.
510
00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:21,958
[class giggling]
511
00:22:22,666 --> 00:22:24,708
["Monte Carlo" by Remi Wolf playing]
512
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:29,017
[Gabi] So I told the sales lady,
"I'll take one in each color."
513
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:31,921
And she said, "Are you getting a divorce?"
And I said, "How'd you guess?"
514
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:35,666
That's really funny, Mom.
515
00:22:35,750 --> 00:22:38,958
Hey, can you let me bring over some people
on Saturday?
516
00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:40,166
Oh sure. Like a playdate?
517
00:22:40,250 --> 00:22:44,125
A playdate? Mom, I'm 13.
Please don't call it a playdate.
518
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,041
[cell phone ringing]
519
00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:47,166
My dad's calling me. Hi!
520
00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:49,666
Hey! Stacels.
Hey, I'm at the store right now.
521
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:52,041
Mommy told me you need some, uh, tampons...
522
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:54,434
- But I'm not sure what size you use...
- Stop. Get whatever.
523
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,309
[Danny] There's a lot of whatever
to choose from.
524
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,625
Do pads. I don't care.
525
00:22:57,708 --> 00:22:59,166
What kind of flow do you got going?
526
00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:00,958
- Uh, heavy flow situation?
- Heavy.
527
00:23:01,041 --> 00:23:03,000
- Oh my God.
- A light flow? Or extra chunky?
528
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:05,791
I... I... I got confused.
I'm getting peanut butter also.
529
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:08,958
- [Stacy] I mean...
- Mommy said it was a high-alert situation?
530
00:23:09,041 --> 00:23:10,761
That you might have to sleep
in the bathtub?
531
00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,583
I'll drop 'em off
in your room immediately.
532
00:23:12,666 --> 00:23:14,083
Oh my God. Love you. Bye.
533
00:23:17,875 --> 00:23:20,833
"Hey, Lyd, it's Kym.
Having people over now."
534
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:22,291
"Pull up if you're free."
535
00:23:22,791 --> 00:23:23,791
Wow.
536
00:23:25,541 --> 00:23:27,208
Um, what do I say?
537
00:23:27,291 --> 00:23:28,541
Do you want to go?
538
00:23:30,416 --> 00:23:31,416
No.
539
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:35,708
But, I mean, I should respond.
540
00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:38,791
Yeah. For sure.
Uh, if you want to go, I don't care.
541
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:41,708
I just think they're awful,
but it's your choice.
542
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:45,101
- Let me ask if you can come.
- No. Please don't do that.
543
00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:48,583
Yeah, I'm gonna ask. Doing it right now.
Look, I just did it. Whoops. Sorry.
544
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,416
[both screaming]
545
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,375
Oh my God! Okay, Mom, can you drop us off
at Kym Chang-Cohen's house, please?
546
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:02,000
- Wait. Can you stop by my place first?
- [Gabi] Sure.
547
00:24:02,083 --> 00:24:04,958
- [mouthing] Period.
- You gonna ask if Tara and Nikki can come?
548
00:24:05,041 --> 00:24:06,041
[Lydia] Oh.
549
00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:09,750
Oh. Um, I mean, I don't think so.
550
00:24:09,833 --> 00:24:11,666
Bringing three people
would be, like, a lot.
551
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,125
- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah.
552
00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:14,750
[Lydia squealing]
553
00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:16,083
[both vocalizing]
554
00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:18,875
- [both laughing]
- You can't go now.
555
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,375
[upbeat music playing]
556
00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,791
Okay. Hurry.
557
00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:26,000
- Hi, Ron.
- [Ronnie] Hi.
558
00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:28,517
- Should I wear a jacket with this?
- No. Where are you going?
559
00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:29,875
Kym Chang-Cohen's.
560
00:24:29,958 --> 00:24:33,000
Oh wow. First rule of going
to a cool kid's house, don't disagree.
561
00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:33,958
Don't get too excited.
562
00:24:34,041 --> 00:24:35,041
- Got it. Thanks.
- Cool.
563
00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:36,685
[Ronnie] Oh, Dad left pads on your bed.
564
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:39,166
They're enormous.
I almost thought they were pillows.
565
00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:40,166
Are you joking?
566
00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:42,041
[Lydia laughing] That's funny.
567
00:24:42,125 --> 00:24:45,166
["Valley of the Dolls"
by Santigold playing]
568
00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:50,583
[Lydia squealing] Oh my God.
569
00:24:50,666 --> 00:24:53,041
[Stacy] Remember.
Don't disagree. Don't get too excited.
570
00:24:53,541 --> 00:24:57,708
[cell phones beeping, chiming]
571
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,208
[inaudible]
572
00:25:03,541 --> 00:25:05,708
So, Lydia, any crushes?
573
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,583
Oh, uh...
574
00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:12,875
No, not really. There's not a lot
of options for boys in our grade.
575
00:25:12,958 --> 00:25:14,666
- You know?
- [both chuckling awkwardly]
576
00:25:15,708 --> 00:25:17,625
Oh, so you only like boys?
577
00:25:17,708 --> 00:25:19,833
Uh, I think so.
578
00:25:19,916 --> 00:25:21,750
Don't worry. Some of us are straight too.
579
00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:22,833
Cool.
580
00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:24,958
I don't disagree.
581
00:25:29,458 --> 00:25:30,958
Yeah, Stacy, what about you?
582
00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:32,625
Who do you like?
583
00:25:33,916 --> 00:25:36,041
Uh, no one, really.
584
00:25:39,791 --> 00:25:43,791
Uh, people are coming to my house tomorrow
if you want to come. Nothing big.
585
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:44,916
Sounds chill.
586
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,583
You guys have to come.
It'll be freaking amazing!
587
00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:49,041
Her house is so cool.
588
00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,083
I mean, it'll be a'ight.
589
00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:58,000
[clearing throat] Uh, anyways, we should
probably wash this off before we go.
590
00:25:58,083 --> 00:26:01,000
- Uh, we have to change before we leave.
- Where are we going?
591
00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:02,500
To the ledge.
592
00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:05,708
[girls chattering indistinctly]
593
00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:10,541
- No way.
- We'll be careful.
594
00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:11,750
I don't want to die.
595
00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:13,541
- We have to. We can't disagree.
- What?
596
00:26:13,625 --> 00:26:14,625
Don't act excited!
597
00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:16,125
[Kym] Andy will be there.
598
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:21,958
Come on, Lydia, can't you do this for me?
599
00:26:22,041 --> 00:26:24,125
I already got you invited here.
Isn't that enough?
600
00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:28,083
I didn't mean it like that.
601
00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:29,625
You guys coming or what?
602
00:26:29,708 --> 00:26:30,875
Yeah, I'm down.
603
00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:34,833
["Obxessed" by Fire Choir playing]
604
00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:44,541
[girls chattering indistinctly]
605
00:26:44,625 --> 00:26:46,291
♪ It's irresistible ♪
606
00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,666
♪ I'm so stuck on you ♪
607
00:26:49,583 --> 00:26:52,666
Ugh, my mom said I have to wait a year
before I can get lip filler.
608
00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:55,041
She said you can have Botox.
Just use that on your lips.
609
00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:56,125
[girl] Yeah.
610
00:26:57,666 --> 00:26:59,666
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
611
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:03,041
[both squealing quietly]
612
00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:06,291
Look who's here!
613
00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:08,083
♪ I might be a little obsessed ♪
614
00:27:08,583 --> 00:27:11,208
["Nikes On" by Healy playing]
615
00:27:11,791 --> 00:27:14,583
♪ What's a feeling
Without someone to feel it? ♪
616
00:27:14,666 --> 00:27:17,541
♪ What's appealing?
Sleep in on the weekend ♪
617
00:27:17,625 --> 00:27:20,250
♪ Home solo, spinning on the ceiling ♪
618
00:27:20,958 --> 00:27:22,500
♪ And every day is the same ♪
619
00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:25,250
♪ When the name of the game's
Break sweat to break even ♪
620
00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:26,250
[song stops]
621
00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:27,625
[Andy] What up, what up?
622
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:30,750
What's good?
623
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,041
Hi, Stacy.
624
00:27:33,666 --> 00:27:34,500
Hey, Mateo.
625
00:27:34,583 --> 00:27:37,833
Yo, we just had soccer,
and we kicked St. Catherine's ass, 3-0.
626
00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:39,250
Even though their field sucks.
627
00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:41,583
Yeah, that field is so lopsided.
628
00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:44,333
Exactly.
629
00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:46,083
Uh,
630
00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:47,541
how's your head?
631
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,166
It's, um... it's still on her body, so...
632
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:56,916
Yeah, we love that.
633
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,458
And I'm not barfing, so, yeah.
634
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:02,125
[Mateo chuckling]
635
00:28:02,208 --> 00:28:04,208
Uh, anyways...
636
00:28:05,125 --> 00:28:06,541
What's up? I'm Andy.
637
00:28:06,625 --> 00:28:09,583
Uh, I know. We, uh...
we go to Hebrew school together. Lydia.
638
00:28:09,666 --> 00:28:10,875
We do?
639
00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:12,166
Yeah.
640
00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:15,791
[Aaron] I dare one of you guys to jump in!
641
00:28:15,875 --> 00:28:17,250
Come on! Let's go.
642
00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:18,601
[Mateo] Jump off the ledge, Aaron?
643
00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:21,208
You'd break both legs on impact
and your spine.
644
00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:23,125
Yeah, I heard
Melissa Quinto's cousin jumped,
645
00:28:23,208 --> 00:28:25,583
and she now has to text
with her nose, so, no.
646
00:28:25,666 --> 00:28:27,458
Looks like it might be fun.
647
00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:29,000
[tense music playing]
648
00:28:29,083 --> 00:28:30,916
Hey, I'd jump
if I didn't have my contacts in.
649
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,416
Oh, I'd be happy
to hold them for you, Aaron.
650
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,500
[all laughing]
651
00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:40,000
Oh shit. You can't see.
652
00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,666
[tense music swelling]
653
00:28:42,708 --> 00:28:43,708
I'll do it.
654
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:45,875
What?
655
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:47,916
[Andy] You'd jump in?
656
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,208
That... that's sick.
657
00:28:50,291 --> 00:28:51,375
Let's see it.
658
00:28:51,458 --> 00:28:53,708
[upbeat electronic music playing]
659
00:28:53,791 --> 00:28:54,791
Okay.
660
00:28:55,291 --> 00:28:57,083
- No way, no way.
- Oh shit.
661
00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:59,000
[Aaron] If she jumps, it's my idea, guys.
662
00:28:59,083 --> 00:29:01,041
[boy] We don't know if that's shallow.
663
00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:03,125
[kids murmuring]
664
00:29:18,291 --> 00:29:20,666
- She's not gonna do it.
- She's not gonna do it.
665
00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:23,000
- If she dies, we weren't here.
- Hell no.
666
00:29:23,083 --> 00:29:25,291
- [girl] She's a scaredy-cat.
- [boy] She's stalling.
667
00:29:25,833 --> 00:29:29,083
Stacy, you said we'd be careful. Please.
668
00:29:29,583 --> 00:29:30,583
Is Andy watching?
669
00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:33,791
[indistinct chatter]
670
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:35,416
Everyone is watching!
671
00:29:36,833 --> 00:29:39,958
Friedman! Yo, you got this! Let's go!
672
00:29:40,041 --> 00:29:40,875
[kids cheering]
673
00:29:40,958 --> 00:29:42,976
- [Andy] Let's get it!
- Stacy, do not do this to me.
674
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,541
If you die, your parents will kill me.
I swear to God. Stacy! No!
675
00:29:46,625 --> 00:29:48,208
- [music stops]
- [inaudible]
676
00:29:55,916 --> 00:29:58,416
- Oh my God!
- Holy shit!
677
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,083
- My God!
- Oh my God!
678
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:04,291
[kids clamoring]
679
00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:05,500
[Lydia] Stacy!
680
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:07,458
- Stacy!
- Oh shit!
681
00:30:08,333 --> 00:30:10,000
[girl] That was unreal!
682
00:30:12,291 --> 00:30:14,250
- [boy] Stacy!
- Woohoo!
683
00:30:14,333 --> 00:30:15,333
[Stacy gasping]
684
00:30:15,416 --> 00:30:16,958
- That was my idea!
- Yo, shut up!
685
00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:19,541
Yo, Stacy Friedman!
686
00:30:19,625 --> 00:30:21,833
You're a fricken' legend!
687
00:30:21,916 --> 00:30:23,791
That's how I do it!
688
00:30:24,375 --> 00:30:26,416
[kids chattering indistinctly]
689
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:28,125
What is that?
690
00:30:28,625 --> 00:30:30,000
[kids quieting]
691
00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:32,833
[dramatic music playing]
692
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,333
[Andy] Oh, disgusting.
693
00:30:36,416 --> 00:30:39,875
Yo, Stacy just turned the ledge
into the Red Sea.
694
00:30:39,958 --> 00:30:41,708
[kids laughing]
695
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:46,125
[Anya] Chill out.
696
00:30:46,166 --> 00:30:48,125
It's just a period, guys.
It happens every month.
697
00:30:48,208 --> 00:30:49,583
That looks like two months.
698
00:30:49,666 --> 00:30:51,625
You couldn't deal
with having a period, Aaron.
699
00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:52,708
Yeah, you punk.
700
00:30:52,791 --> 00:30:54,250
Wait, what'd I even do?
701
00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:56,625
[kids chuckling]
702
00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:57,833
[Stacy exhaling]
703
00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:00,333
[scattered chuckling]
704
00:31:06,791 --> 00:31:08,500
Thanks for laughing with everyone.
705
00:31:09,666 --> 00:31:11,000
I wasn't laughing.
706
00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:12,375
Yes, you were.
707
00:31:12,458 --> 00:31:15,208
Stacy, it's not that big of a deal.
Just take my sweatshirt.
708
00:31:15,291 --> 00:31:18,125
Not a big deal? That was humiliating!
Andy looked at me like...
709
00:31:18,208 --> 00:31:20,500
You're a badass!
That's all anyone was thinking.
710
00:31:20,583 --> 00:31:22,916
No, whatever. I'm over him.
711
00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:25,916
Call it.
712
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,541
- Stacy, think this through.
- I did. Call it.
713
00:31:29,166 --> 00:31:30,166
[Lydia scoffing]
714
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:33,458
5:23.
715
00:31:33,541 --> 00:31:37,041
Stacy Friedman's crush
on Andy Goldfarb has ended.
716
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:40,333
Time of death, 5:23 p.m.
717
00:31:40,416 --> 00:31:42,083
Okay, let's just go.
718
00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:44,041
No, you just stay with your new friends.
719
00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:45,666
What? What are you talking about?
720
00:31:45,750 --> 00:31:48,000
Oh my God, stop! You didn't have my back.
Just admit it!
721
00:31:48,083 --> 00:31:50,625
You stop. I told you not to jump.
I didn't even want to be here.
722
00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:53,000
Only because you already got them
to come to your party!
723
00:31:53,083 --> 00:31:56,416
- You're being so dramatic right now!
- You're such a wannabe right now!
724
00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,625
I'm freezing. I'm gonna go.
725
00:31:59,708 --> 00:32:02,375
Wow, Stacy. I can't even.
726
00:32:02,458 --> 00:32:03,875
I can't even, even more.
727
00:32:03,958 --> 00:32:05,958
[somber music playing]
728
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:07,791
[music fades]
729
00:32:07,875 --> 00:32:09,059
[Danny] What you gonna do, sweets?
730
00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:10,723
[Bree] Sending out the invitations today.
731
00:32:10,791 --> 00:32:13,416
I have to get my hair dyed...
Oh, will you call DJ Schmuley?
732
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:16,166
He's asking for a green room and per diem.
733
00:32:16,250 --> 00:32:18,083
And he may or may not have hit on me.
734
00:32:18,166 --> 00:32:20,000
Well, I may or may not punch him
in the face.
735
00:32:20,083 --> 00:32:22,059
- Yeah, okay. [chuckling]
- Let me handle Schmuley.
736
00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:24,208
So, you, I'm going to the movies.
You want to come?
737
00:32:24,916 --> 00:32:27,458
Too weird being
at a movie theater alone with my dad.
738
00:32:27,541 --> 00:32:30,416
Okay, you never want to be with me again?
What are you gonna do all day?
739
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:34,333
Zaara's coming over, and we're going to
online shop and then take a nap outside.
740
00:32:35,083 --> 00:32:36,291
And that's not weird to you?
741
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,791
We're tired from frickin' school all week!
742
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:43,666
Honey, go have quality time with
your younger daughter who still loves you.
743
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:45,184
- [Danny] Yeah.
- Okay? Have a good day.
744
00:32:45,208 --> 00:32:47,083
This one scares me.
745
00:32:50,291 --> 00:32:52,708
- Miss you already, Daddy!
- [Danny] Do ya? Great.
746
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:55,333
[music playing on phone]
747
00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,875
[indistinct cheering, chatter on phone]
748
00:33:01,875 --> 00:33:03,833
Oh my God!
749
00:33:03,916 --> 00:33:06,125
[inaudible]
750
00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:13,916
[hip-hop music playing]
751
00:33:18,583 --> 00:33:19,625
[cell phone chiming]
752
00:33:22,708 --> 00:33:23,958
[knocking on door]
753
00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:26,541
- We ready in there, buddy?
- [Stacy] One second, Dad!
754
00:33:27,333 --> 00:33:28,500
[Stacy exhaling]
755
00:33:39,291 --> 00:33:40,625
[cell phone beeping]
756
00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:43,625
[knocking on door]
757
00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:46,166
Don't do this to me. Let's go!
758
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:47,333
[Stacy] Coming!
759
00:33:50,916 --> 00:33:52,000
[Danny] Bubie, I'm psyched.
760
00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:54,958
I'm psyched about the popcorn.
Lots of butter.
761
00:33:55,750 --> 00:33:57,708
Lots of anger after I finish it.
762
00:33:57,791 --> 00:34:00,875
- Lots of oil on my face.
- Dad, can I skip the movies?
763
00:34:00,958 --> 00:34:03,998
You wanna skip the movie? How come?
You don't want to be seen with me either?
764
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:07,333
No, no, no. I just need to talk to Lydia.
Can you drop me at her house?
765
00:34:08,333 --> 00:34:09,416
Sure, buddy.
766
00:34:10,541 --> 00:34:12,625
What's the matter? Something bugging you?
767
00:34:13,666 --> 00:34:15,458
It'll be fine. Whatever it is.
768
00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:20,083
Here. Don't tell your mother.
Have some coffee.
769
00:34:20,666 --> 00:34:22,708
One sip... [yelling] I gotcha.
770
00:34:22,791 --> 00:34:23,958
- [laughing]
- Gotcha.
771
00:34:24,041 --> 00:34:25,958
[light music playing]
772
00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:30,958
- [Danny] All right. Have fun. I love you.
- [Stacy] Thank you. Love you.
773
00:34:31,041 --> 00:34:32,958
I'll just be all alone
at the movies,
774
00:34:33,041 --> 00:34:35,375
crying and eating a bucket
of Sour Patch Kids!
775
00:34:35,458 --> 00:34:38,333
- A'ight!
- [Danny] Okay. Text me if you need me.
776
00:34:38,416 --> 00:34:39,458
I will!
777
00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:43,541
[hip-hop music playing over stereo]
778
00:34:47,458 --> 00:34:49,541
["Past Life" by Arkellis playing]
779
00:34:54,916 --> 00:34:56,333
♪ Feeling like I'm falling ♪
780
00:34:56,416 --> 00:34:59,291
♪ I've been getting uptight
Staring at the ceiling ♪
781
00:34:59,375 --> 00:35:03,166
♪ Trying to get it just right
You know what's on mind ♪
782
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:06,333
♪ I can't look you in the eye ♪
783
00:35:06,416 --> 00:35:09,375
♪ I'm getting on the freeway
Underneath the night sky ♪
784
00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:12,208
♪ I'm a little wallflower
Singing "One Headlight" ♪
785
00:35:12,291 --> 00:35:14,666
♪ Looking for a sign ♪
786
00:35:14,750 --> 00:35:17,458
♪ Superstition made me blind ♪
787
00:35:17,541 --> 00:35:20,041
♪ I'm sick of running from a past life ♪
788
00:35:20,625 --> 00:35:22,791
♪ I don't care about the next one ♪
789
00:35:23,375 --> 00:35:25,833
♪ Right now I'm feeling like a stranger ♪
790
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:28,263
♪ Don't recognize the voice inside my... ♪
791
00:35:28,291 --> 00:35:31,916
- [girl] Oh. Uh, Stacy, you would know.
- Uh, how do you turn on the jacuzzi jets?
792
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:34,291
Uh, the switch is in the pantry.
793
00:35:34,375 --> 00:35:36,291
- The pantry?
- Pantry?
794
00:35:36,375 --> 00:35:38,541
[indistinct chatter]
795
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:42,958
♪ Don't recognize the voice
Inside my head ♪
796
00:35:43,041 --> 00:35:45,375
♪ 'Cause I've been running
From a past life ♪
797
00:35:45,875 --> 00:35:49,166
♪ I wanna live
I wanna live this life instead ♪
798
00:35:53,416 --> 00:35:54,875
Oh my God.
799
00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:00,708
Oh my God.
800
00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:09,791
- [Lydia] Stacy! Stacy!
- [Aaron] Oh, snap.
801
00:36:09,875 --> 00:36:12,333
Yo, shit just got real. [chuckling]
802
00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:14,250
[Lydia] Stacy.
803
00:36:14,583 --> 00:36:16,083
Stacy, he kissed me!
804
00:36:16,166 --> 00:36:17,666
You don't even like him!
805
00:36:18,666 --> 00:36:20,767
You're like David and Bathsheba,
and you're the snake.
806
00:36:20,791 --> 00:36:22,708
- I'm sorry, okay. I...
- Stop talking!
807
00:36:22,791 --> 00:36:24,671
Let me explain? Please?
I haven't done anything.
808
00:36:24,708 --> 00:36:26,791
No! Let me explain some things to you.
809
00:36:26,875 --> 00:36:29,166
First of all, we are no longer friends.
810
00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:33,500
Second of all, I am definitely not doing
your entrance video.
811
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,958
- Stacy.
- Oh! And one more thing...
812
00:36:38,458 --> 00:36:43,000
Lydia Rodriguez Katz,
you are so not invited to my Bat Mitzvah.
813
00:36:45,166 --> 00:36:47,541
Good! Have fun without me!
814
00:36:48,583 --> 00:36:49,583
[sniffling]
815
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:51,916
[Andy laughing]
816
00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:54,833
[crying]
817
00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:58,000
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
818
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,750
And what the hell?
819
00:37:02,666 --> 00:37:04,250
How could you do this to me?
820
00:37:04,333 --> 00:37:06,250
["traitor" by Olivia Rodrigo playing]
821
00:37:13,041 --> 00:37:17,083
♪ Brown guilty eyes
And little white lies ♪
822
00:37:17,166 --> 00:37:20,958
♪ Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew ♪
823
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:26,791
♪ That you talked to her
Maybe did even worse ♪
824
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:29,333
♪ I kept quiet so I could keep you ♪
825
00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:30,416
[Stacy sniffling]
826
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:34,291
♪ You betrayed me ♪
827
00:37:34,375 --> 00:37:40,458
♪ And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah ♪
828
00:37:40,541 --> 00:37:41,666
Okay, bye, Stacy.
829
00:37:42,541 --> 00:37:43,458
[Zaara gasping]
830
00:37:43,541 --> 00:37:45,958
Oh, oh, Z. It's okay. Go back to bed.
831
00:37:46,041 --> 00:37:48,666
- [Zaara moaning]
- You're fine. I promise. You're fine.
832
00:37:49,166 --> 00:37:51,166
- ♪ But that didn't matter ♪
- [inaudible]
833
00:37:51,250 --> 00:37:55,958
♪ It took you two weeks
To go off and date her ♪
834
00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:59,125
♪ Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor ♪
835
00:37:59,208 --> 00:38:01,583
[Nikki] Stacy, wait up. Stace, wait up.
836
00:38:01,666 --> 00:38:03,375
Are you okay? What happened?
837
00:38:03,458 --> 00:38:06,083
Yeah. Everybody keeps asking us
if you need a double-X tampon.
838
00:38:06,166 --> 00:38:08,250
- I'm fine.
- [Tara] Are you sure, Stace?
839
00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:10,875
'Cause your best friend's
dating your crush.
840
00:38:10,958 --> 00:38:12,875
They're not dating. It was just one kiss.
841
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,142
Oh, I heard he touched her underboob
in PE this morning.
842
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,833
- Tara...
- [scoffing] It's fine, guys.
843
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:18,875
Junior high gossip. Never ends.
844
00:38:22,458 --> 00:38:24,791
["Riot Rhythm" by Sleigh Bells playing]
845
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:29,500
[inaudible]
846
00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:44,083
- Okay, well, when did that start?
- [song stops]
847
00:38:44,708 --> 00:38:46,208
Her party this weekend.
848
00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:48,041
She had the party?
849
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,875
Guess so. She didn't invite us.
850
00:38:49,958 --> 00:38:52,375
No surprise, because they were
awfully chummy laughing
851
00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:54,708
at my near-death experience at the ledge.
852
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,291
You guys went to the ledge with Andy?
853
00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,500
Oh, it's just the ledge.
It was last minute.
854
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000
[Tara] Hmm.
855
00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:06,041
- Come on, Tara. Let's go.
- Yeah.
856
00:39:08,875 --> 00:39:11,708
Okay, today we're going
to be talking about tikkun olam.
857
00:39:11,791 --> 00:39:13,111
Does anyone know what that means?
858
00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:14,666
Kym!
859
00:39:14,750 --> 00:39:17,250
If God exists,
then how do you explain climate change?
860
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:22,083
It's actually an amazing question. Um...
861
00:39:22,166 --> 00:39:25,041
Yeah, and why can't straight people
get on gay TikTok? It's way funnier.
862
00:39:25,125 --> 00:39:28,416
And if God loves me, then why
is he always giving me so many zits.
863
00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:30,351
And why does Apple
keep changing their chargers?
864
00:39:30,375 --> 00:39:32,656
And why did my dad's doctor operate
on the wrong shoulder?
865
00:39:32,708 --> 00:39:34,958
And why do I have to share a room
with my grandma?
866
00:39:36,625 --> 00:39:38,250
[Rebecca] Okay, okay, okay.
867
00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:42,750
I think I can explain zits
and climate change and gay TikTok.
868
00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:44,875
- [Lydia] She scares me sometimes.
- [Andy] You too?
869
00:39:44,958 --> 00:39:46,833
- [drawer closing]
- [maracas shaking]
870
00:39:46,916 --> 00:39:48,416
Musically!
871
00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:54,625
♪ If God is real, then why is there war? ♪
872
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:58,333
♪ Why is there injustice? ♪
873
00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:00,791
♪ Why are people poor? ♪
874
00:40:01,458 --> 00:40:06,916
♪ And why have I had a yeast infection ♪
875
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:12,125
♪ for a solid 11 years? ♪
876
00:40:12,208 --> 00:40:14,875
♪ The answer is clear ♪
877
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,000
- ♪ God is random ♪
- [scattered laughter]
878
00:40:20,083 --> 00:40:21,916
♪ God is random ♪
879
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,500
♪ God is random sauce ♪
880
00:40:23,583 --> 00:40:24,666
Everybody!
881
00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:26,458
[all] ♪ God is random ♪
882
00:40:26,541 --> 00:40:28,083
♪ God is random ♪
883
00:40:28,583 --> 00:40:30,791
Your prayer book
is the playbill, cutie-pops...
884
00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:32,666
[clicking tongue]...razzle-dazzle.
885
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,208
[both chuckling]
886
00:40:34,291 --> 00:40:36,958
- [dramatic music playing]
- [inaudible]
887
00:40:57,625 --> 00:40:58,708
[Rebecca] Seema!
888
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:03,583
What did Rabbi Rebecca say
about being on your phone?
889
00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:07,375
Right? Aaron knows what I'm talking about.
Come on, dude.
890
00:41:08,875 --> 00:41:11,125
- Yup, Baruch HaShem, Aaron.
- [Aaron] Yes, sir.
891
00:41:11,875 --> 00:41:14,125
- [machinery whirring]
- [rhythmic thumping]
892
00:41:17,750 --> 00:41:20,416
All right, what's going on, young lady?
893
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:23,208
You used to be such a good,
respectful kid.
894
00:41:23,291 --> 00:41:26,083
Now, you're on your phone.
You're not practicing your portion.
895
00:41:26,166 --> 00:41:28,625
Talk to me, sis. [clapping]
What's crappenin'?
896
00:41:29,875 --> 00:41:33,666
Do you know what your portion is about?
Do you understand Ki Tisa?
897
00:41:34,166 --> 00:41:37,041
Yeah. Lots of golden calf talk
and stuff like that.
898
00:41:38,166 --> 00:41:42,208
Yeah, but it's also about becoming
your own individual person.
899
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:44,583
It's about taking responsibilities
for your mistakes.
900
00:41:44,666 --> 00:41:45,916
You know, grown-up stuff?
901
00:41:46,583 --> 00:41:48,208
Let me take a wild guess.
902
00:41:48,291 --> 00:41:50,958
You haven't started
your mitzvah project yet either, huh?
903
00:41:51,916 --> 00:41:53,458
I'm narrowing it down.
904
00:41:53,541 --> 00:41:56,833
Seema, I'm telling you,
the sooner you do your mitzvah,
905
00:41:56,916 --> 00:41:59,375
which is a good deed,
a commandment by the way,
906
00:41:59,458 --> 00:42:01,875
the sooner you'll find
things falling into place.
907
00:42:03,750 --> 00:42:05,916
Wait, so, if I do a mitzvah,
God will reward me?
908
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,875
- [panting] No, not reward...
- And he'll give me what I want?
909
00:42:08,958 --> 00:42:10,500
Well, I definitely did not say that.
910
00:42:10,583 --> 00:42:13,166
No, thank you, Rabbi. You helped me
so much. I gotta get to work.
911
00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:14,291
Wait. No, no, no!
912
00:42:14,375 --> 00:42:16,375
Gotta start my journey, Rabbi Rebecca!
913
00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:17,500
Can you get me a Gatorade?
914
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:21,125
[upbeat music playing]
915
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:23,166
[indistinct chatter]
916
00:42:34,625 --> 00:42:36,750
[Lydia] Hey, uh, can I sit here?
- [girl] Sure.
917
00:42:57,833 --> 00:42:58,833
Hey.
918
00:43:00,291 --> 00:43:02,416
You wouldn't happen
to know why people keep asking me
919
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,791
if they can floss their teeth
with my nipple hair today,
920
00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:06,125
do you, Stacy?
921
00:43:06,208 --> 00:43:07,916
Uh, no.
922
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,200
You know, seventh grade is hard enough
without people pointing and laughing at me
923
00:43:11,250 --> 00:43:14,541
whenever I walk down the hall,
screaming out, "Here, comes spider-nips."
924
00:43:14,625 --> 00:43:17,250
Better than, "Here comes Aunt Flow
and the Blood-Pads!"
925
00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:18,613
But that really happened, Stacy.
926
00:43:18,666 --> 00:43:21,541
- How do I know your nipples are hairless?
- Because you do!
927
00:43:23,583 --> 00:43:26,791
Why are you dating him?
I thought it was just one kiss?
928
00:43:27,291 --> 00:43:29,958
And stop doing Rabbi Rebecca impressions
to Andy.
929
00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:32,250
That's my impression,
you freaking ripoff artist!
930
00:43:32,333 --> 00:43:35,625
[in funny voice] And I'm the star,
cutie-pops, razzle-dazzle!
931
00:43:35,708 --> 00:43:36,708
[woman laughing]
932
00:43:37,125 --> 00:43:40,000
That sounds so much like her!
Do Cantor Jerry.
933
00:43:40,666 --> 00:43:41,708
I don't know how.
934
00:43:42,750 --> 00:43:44,916
Boo!
935
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,250
- [Ronnie] Um, uh, chicken?
- Ronnie? Ronnie.
936
00:43:48,333 --> 00:43:50,892
Can you help with my mitzvah project?
I need to get on that ASAP.
937
00:43:50,916 --> 00:43:53,708
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Oh, chicken parmesan!
938
00:43:53,791 --> 00:43:54,708
Correct.
939
00:43:54,791 --> 00:43:57,583
Honey, why don't you and Lydia
do something with the homeless
940
00:43:57,666 --> 00:43:59,750
or volunteer at the animal shelter?
941
00:43:59,833 --> 00:44:02,392
Cause it's my Bat Mitzvah
and I'm not doing my project with Lydia.
942
00:44:02,416 --> 00:44:03,500
It's a statement about me.
943
00:44:03,583 --> 00:44:05,703
Stace, that's what you said
about the egg roll piñata.
944
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:07,333
- And the dress.
- And your hair.
945
00:44:07,416 --> 00:44:09,416
Shut up, Zaara. Why are you always here?
946
00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:10,666
- Hey.
- [camera clicking]
947
00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:13,333
Ugh! You guys don't get what this means.
Nobody does.
948
00:44:13,416 --> 00:44:15,416
[Zaara chuckling, exclaiming]
949
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:17,208
Biggest drama queen in the room?
950
00:44:17,291 --> 00:44:20,041
- [Zaara] Correct.
- Oh my God! You're not funny.
951
00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:21,500
Girls, leave her alone.
952
00:44:26,416 --> 00:44:28,833
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
953
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:32,958
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
954
00:44:33,458 --> 00:44:36,041
vayikra Aharon
955
00:44:36,666 --> 00:44:38,791
- Ugh. Oh my God.
- [recording continues]
956
00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:39,875
[recording stops]
957
00:44:39,916 --> 00:44:42,500
[both resuming in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
958
00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:44,642
- [recording] vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
- [Stacy slips up]
959
00:44:44,666 --> 00:44:46,458
- What the heck?
- [recording stops]
960
00:44:48,708 --> 00:44:49,916
[sighing]
961
00:44:54,333 --> 00:44:56,333
["ABCDEFU" by GAYLE playing]
962
00:44:57,125 --> 00:44:59,708
[mouse clicking]
963
00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:07,473
[Stacy, in recording] If that was you
and a boy, what would you do?
964
00:45:08,458 --> 00:45:10,250
- [Lydia kissing]
- [Stacy laughing]
965
00:45:11,708 --> 00:45:13,517
[Stacy, in recording]
Let's get a closeup of that one.
966
00:45:13,541 --> 00:45:14,833
[Lydia] Hmm. Look at that.
967
00:45:14,916 --> 00:45:16,750
- Mmm, mmm, mmm.
- [both laughing]
968
00:45:17,333 --> 00:45:19,166
[Lydia sniffing deeply, exhaling]
969
00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:22,750
- [Stacy] Why do you always do that?
- [Lydia] I like the way my feet smell!
970
00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:25,291
- She sounds like a lawnmower. So loud!
- [girls giggling]
971
00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:29,500
Did you get the full flip?
972
00:45:29,583 --> 00:45:32,226
- [Stacy] I got a full booger.
- Stop. Erase that right now, please.
973
00:45:32,250 --> 00:45:33,458
This is how I'm gonna kiss.
974
00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:36,291
We're waiting for her to pop a pimple.
975
00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:38,208
Oh my God, I think I peed myself.
976
00:45:38,291 --> 00:45:40,583
Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
977
00:45:40,666 --> 00:45:41,791
They're very dumb.
978
00:45:41,875 --> 00:45:43,208
Her real toes are hairy.
979
00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:45,458
[voices overlapping]
980
00:45:45,541 --> 00:45:47,541
[Stacy] What is the biggest lie
you've ever told?
981
00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:50,166
Have you ever farted from the front?
982
00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:52,291
- [Tara] Yeah, like your vajayjay?
- Juicy!
983
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:55,208
- Want me to show you? I have to prepare.
- [Stacy] Yes. Let's see it.
984
00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:57,000
[Stacy] Stop. You have an exercise?
985
00:45:57,708 --> 00:45:59,375
[Stacy] No, poor Nikki.
986
00:45:59,458 --> 00:46:00,500
[girls giggling]
987
00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:02,125
[Lydia flatulating]
988
00:46:03,666 --> 00:46:05,583
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
989
00:46:05,666 --> 00:46:06,833
Wha...
990
00:46:20,375 --> 00:46:22,083
You better not show this to anyone.
991
00:46:22,166 --> 00:46:24,125
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone,
992
00:46:24,208 --> 00:46:25,375
I literally will murder you.
993
00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:27,098
You understand this? You understand that?
994
00:46:27,125 --> 00:46:29,166
- [Stacy] I wouldn't do that.
- [Lydia] Okay, good.
995
00:46:29,250 --> 00:46:30,250
[Stacy] Love you.
996
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:36,166
Stop, I'm being serious.
This could be dangerous.
997
00:46:36,250 --> 00:46:37,833
[emotional music playing]
998
00:46:37,916 --> 00:46:39,708
[Danny] They're both nuts together.
999
00:46:39,791 --> 00:46:41,916
[Bree] Stacy, stop smothering Lydia.
1000
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,958
- [woman 2] Aw, that's nice!
- [Stacy laughing]
1001
00:46:45,041 --> 00:46:48,375
Thanks for watching. Bye!
1002
00:46:58,125 --> 00:47:01,208
[Stacy and recording, in Hebrew]
Vayar Aharon
1003
00:47:01,291 --> 00:47:05,375
vayiven mizbayach l'fanav
1004
00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:07,375
vayikra Aharon
1005
00:47:07,458 --> 00:47:08,666
[in frustration] My lo...
1006
00:47:08,750 --> 00:47:10,958
["Hold Me Down" by the Happy Fits playing]
1007
00:47:11,041 --> 00:47:15,041
♪ I'm here, my love
But I'm floating, baby ♪
1008
00:47:15,125 --> 00:47:17,708
♪ Hold me down tight
When I'm losing my mind... ♪
1009
00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:18,708
[crowd cheering]
1010
00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:23,375
Oh yeah! Mazel tov to Benjamin!
1011
00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:25,125
[all cheering]
1012
00:47:25,208 --> 00:47:26,625
[Aaron] Schmule...
1013
00:47:27,250 --> 00:47:28,291
Hey, Schmuley!
1014
00:47:28,875 --> 00:47:29,875
What, what, what?
1015
00:47:29,958 --> 00:47:32,458
Can you play
"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey?
1016
00:47:33,708 --> 00:47:37,041
Whoa. What a deep cut.
1017
00:47:37,125 --> 00:47:41,708
Get out of here with that shit!
Let Schmuley handle the vibe around here!
1018
00:47:41,791 --> 00:47:43,916
["Wolves" by Selena Gomez playing]
1019
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:48,666
Make some noise, party people!
1020
00:47:55,666 --> 00:47:57,208
♪ To get to you ♪
1021
00:48:03,208 --> 00:48:05,375
- [woman] Oh. Yeah.
- It's too loud in here.
1022
00:48:05,458 --> 00:48:09,791
You know, we didn't have to suffer with
these Bat Mitzvahs when we were your age.
1023
00:48:09,875 --> 00:48:13,958
We just celebrated with our families,
and poof, you're a woman.
1024
00:48:14,041 --> 00:48:15,958
- Yeah.
- Girls didn't have Bat Mitzvahs?
1025
00:48:16,041 --> 00:48:20,125
My mother told me girls were born
into God's kingdom, so we didn't have to.
1026
00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:23,541
She was full of it.
She was just trying to save money.
1027
00:48:23,625 --> 00:48:25,416
[all laughing]
1028
00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,041
[girl screaming]
1029
00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:30,750
Go. Just go.
1030
00:48:32,208 --> 00:48:35,250
Man, that's all-time.
You ever seen Evil Dead 2?
1031
00:48:35,333 --> 00:48:37,833
- Yeah, we saw it. It was weak.
- Yeah, just like you two.
1032
00:48:37,916 --> 00:48:40,166
Ugh. Could you
just let us watch our movie?
1033
00:48:40,916 --> 00:48:41,958
Okay.
1034
00:48:42,041 --> 00:48:44,625
♪ I've been running with the wolves
To get to you ♪
1035
00:48:44,708 --> 00:48:45,875
[both snickering]
1036
00:48:45,958 --> 00:48:47,958
["Hava Nagila" playing]
1037
00:48:48,041 --> 00:48:50,041
[crowd clapping rhythmically]
1038
00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:55,166
[Stacy chuckling]
1039
00:48:59,291 --> 00:49:00,375
[Danny] What's going on?
1040
00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:02,392
Why are you hanging out
with us old people right now?
1041
00:49:02,416 --> 00:49:05,375
- Why are you not with your friends?
- I have a stomach ache.
1042
00:49:05,458 --> 00:49:08,666
You have a stomach ache?
All right. I'll get you a ginger ale.
1043
00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:11,958
You're not hot. You feel fine.
1044
00:49:13,416 --> 00:49:15,125
You don't have a stomach ache.
1045
00:49:16,750 --> 00:49:19,333
How come you're not hanging out
with Lydia tonight?
1046
00:49:19,416 --> 00:49:20,416
She betrayed me.
1047
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:23,708
She kissed my crush,
and then he touched her underboob in PE.
1048
00:49:23,791 --> 00:49:25,708
- Oh.
- Oy, underboob.
1049
00:49:25,791 --> 00:49:28,000
Oh, I got plenty of that.
1050
00:49:28,083 --> 00:49:31,500
Underboob, overboob,
sideboob, behindboob, I got all of it.
1051
00:49:31,583 --> 00:49:32,791
Oh.
1052
00:49:32,875 --> 00:49:35,000
You know, bubelah, when I was young,
1053
00:49:35,083 --> 00:49:38,666
my best friend Susie Rebenstock
and I fought over a boy,
1054
00:49:38,750 --> 00:49:40,416
and I stopped talking to her.
1055
00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:43,500
Fifty years later,
I ran into her brother at Zabar's.
1056
00:49:43,583 --> 00:49:46,375
Turns out,
she threw herself off a roof at 32.
1057
00:49:46,458 --> 00:49:49,333
I let a stupid boy come between us,
1058
00:49:49,416 --> 00:49:52,125
and now she's lying dead
at the bottom of the Chrysler Building.
1059
00:49:52,208 --> 00:49:53,541
Oh my God.
1060
00:49:53,625 --> 00:49:56,458
- It was McDonald's.
- Whatever! You get my point.
1061
00:49:56,958 --> 00:49:59,666
All I'm saying is we girls
have to stick together!
1062
00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:00,916
- Yeah.
- Hear, hear.
1063
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,000
["Hot Girl Bummer" by Blackbear playing]
1064
00:50:06,541 --> 00:50:08,541
[all whimpering]
1065
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Megan!
1066
00:50:12,666 --> 00:50:15,250
Okay. Here, Tatala, huh?
1067
00:50:15,333 --> 00:50:16,791
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1068
00:50:16,875 --> 00:50:18,083
- Hiya, ladies.
- Hello.
1069
00:50:18,166 --> 00:50:19,750
- [Danny] Hey, hey.
- And gentleman.
1070
00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:21,041
[Danny chuckling]
1071
00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:22,500
Mind if I take your extra rolls?
1072
00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:24,875
I'm making up a plate
for Andy Goldfarb's grandmother.
1073
00:50:24,958 --> 00:50:26,250
Oh, that's nice.
1074
00:50:26,333 --> 00:50:28,333
- What a respectful boy you are.
- That's sweet.
1075
00:50:28,416 --> 00:50:30,017
- Here's some basketball rolls.
- Gracias.
1076
00:50:30,041 --> 00:50:32,416
Wait, why are you making a plate
for Andy's grandma?
1077
00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:34,583
She only gets Jell-O
at her retirement home.
1078
00:50:34,666 --> 00:50:38,625
I thought that I'd get real food for Andy
to bring to her when he visits tomorrow.
1079
00:50:38,708 --> 00:50:40,833
Wait, Andy's grandma's
in a retirement home?
1080
00:50:41,791 --> 00:50:42,875
That's awesome.
1081
00:50:43,583 --> 00:50:45,125
Wait, why is that awesome?
1082
00:50:45,208 --> 00:50:47,208
[upbeat music playing]
1083
00:51:07,666 --> 00:51:09,166
Ooh! The bookies are here!
1084
00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:10,333
[Stacy shushing]
1085
00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:21,333
Andy? Oh, hey!
1086
00:51:22,208 --> 00:51:23,208
Yo.
1087
00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:26,666
What are you doing here?
1088
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,625
I'm just visiting my grandma.
1089
00:51:28,708 --> 00:51:32,625
She's taking a nap right now,
so I got to sit here till I get picked up.
1090
00:51:32,708 --> 00:51:34,833
It's so sweet that you visit her.
1091
00:51:34,916 --> 00:51:38,125
Yeah, my moms say
they'll take away my Xbox if I don't. So...
1092
00:51:39,750 --> 00:51:40,833
So...
1093
00:51:42,166 --> 00:51:44,041
Are you excited about your Bar Mitzvah?
1094
00:51:44,125 --> 00:51:45,583
Yeah, it should be all right.
1095
00:51:45,666 --> 00:51:47,083
That's dope.
1096
00:51:50,041 --> 00:51:53,208
Yeah, but Lydia, she's being all salty
1097
00:51:53,291 --> 00:51:56,125
'cause she has to miss
some dumb dance competition to go.
1098
00:51:56,208 --> 00:51:57,708
Ugh. I hate how competitive she is.
1099
00:51:57,791 --> 00:52:00,375
It's just like,
why can't it be about the dancing?
1100
00:52:00,458 --> 00:52:03,958
Well, I mean, I play soccer,
and soccer is pretty competitive.
1101
00:52:04,041 --> 00:52:07,833
Uh, well, soccer's a sport.
Dance is an art.
1102
00:52:09,291 --> 00:52:10,500
Facts.
1103
00:52:11,083 --> 00:52:12,166
Real talk.
1104
00:52:12,791 --> 00:52:14,416
[cell phone vibrating] Andy Goldfarb.
1105
00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:16,791
Um, yeah. Uber's here. Gotta bounce.
1106
00:52:16,875 --> 00:52:18,833
Okay. So nice running into you.
1107
00:52:18,916 --> 00:52:20,125
Yeah, cool.
1108
00:52:23,250 --> 00:52:24,791
- Hey.
- Yo!
1109
00:52:25,833 --> 00:52:27,791
- [Andy] Too slow, boy!
- Jesus.
1110
00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:31,708
[Andy] Can't guard me.
Ha ha, old man! Goldfarb rules!
1111
00:52:33,166 --> 00:52:35,416
Still waitin' on me bookies!
1112
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:36,666
It's right here.
1113
00:52:38,541 --> 00:52:39,875
I don't want that one.
1114
00:52:40,541 --> 00:52:42,541
[popcorn popping]
1115
00:52:46,875 --> 00:52:50,708
Hello, Joe. Can you refill
my popcorn please? Extra butter.
1116
00:52:51,333 --> 00:52:52,333
On it.
1117
00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:56,559
[Stacy, echoing in a memory]
I love this Carnivale theme,
1118
00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:59,250
but your Candyland theme
is going to be the best of the year.
1119
00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:02,226
[Lydia, echoing] Well, until your New York
theme puts the entire school to shame!
1120
00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:03,250
[Stacy, echoing] Yeah.
1121
00:53:03,333 --> 00:53:05,434
[Stacy, echoing] Why'd we eat
so many Twizzlers last night?
1122
00:53:05,458 --> 00:53:06,708
[Lydia, echoing] I don't know!
1123
00:53:06,791 --> 00:53:07,791
[Mateo] Hey, Stacy.
1124
00:53:08,291 --> 00:53:09,583
Oh, hey, Mateo.
1125
00:53:09,666 --> 00:53:12,541
Hey, can you believe no Bar
or Bat Mitzvah tonight?
1126
00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:13,833
Get to go to the movies.
1127
00:53:13,916 --> 00:53:15,708
[chuckling] What are you seeing?
1128
00:53:15,791 --> 00:53:17,875
I'm not sure. Andy bought the tickets.
1129
00:53:17,958 --> 00:53:19,916
- Andy's here?
- [Mateo] Yeah.
1130
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,541
[indistinct chatter]
1131
00:53:22,708 --> 00:53:25,559
- Sorry, the butter nozzle's jammed.
- No, it's fine. I don't need butter.
1132
00:53:25,583 --> 00:53:27,892
- All good. I know you love butter.
- No, I really don't need butter.
1133
00:53:27,916 --> 00:53:29,875
I'll grab a coat hanger.
This is all fixed.
1134
00:53:29,958 --> 00:53:31,726
- Dude, give me the popcorn!
- [Kym] Stacy Friedman.
1135
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,833
Hey, Kym! What's up?
1136
00:53:34,541 --> 00:53:37,500
Hey, yo, what's poppin'?
How's the bookie business?
1137
00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:39,291
Booming. Still got your Xbox?
1138
00:53:39,875 --> 00:53:40,708
You know it.
1139
00:53:40,791 --> 00:53:42,083
[Stacy] That's what's up.
1140
00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:45,291
[Danny] Bubie, what's taking you so long?
1141
00:53:45,375 --> 00:53:47,583
Is the guy mad at us
for getting three refills?
1142
00:53:47,666 --> 00:53:48,916
Where is that dude?
1143
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,208
Oh, your friends are here.
1144
00:53:50,291 --> 00:53:52,791
What's up, everybody?
Nice to see you guys.
1145
00:53:52,875 --> 00:53:56,250
- I like your robe, man!
- Oh yeah, the kid likes the drip.
1146
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:57,416
I like your taste.
1147
00:53:57,500 --> 00:53:59,458
So I'm gonna go outside and get a blanket
1148
00:53:59,541 --> 00:54:01,791
from the trunk of the car
'cause it's freezing in there.
1149
00:54:01,875 --> 00:54:04,833
We can kind of snuggle
like we used to. All right?
1150
00:54:04,916 --> 00:54:08,125
Always fun, right? Blanket time?
You know what I'm talking about, bro?
1151
00:54:09,041 --> 00:54:10,708
- Wha...
- I see you back there, Lydia.
1152
00:54:10,791 --> 00:54:12,875
- How you doing, kiddo?
- Oh, hey.
1153
00:54:12,958 --> 00:54:15,791
- Love ya. Say hi to your folks.
- Yeah, of course.
1154
00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:17,635
- [Danny] Miss you, buddy.
- [Lydia] See you.
1155
00:54:19,083 --> 00:54:20,208
You... Oh...
1156
00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:24,083
[dramatic music playing]
1157
00:54:30,416 --> 00:54:31,250
[music fades]
1158
00:54:31,333 --> 00:54:33,041
[Tara] Stacy! We're here.
1159
00:54:35,375 --> 00:54:36,583
Did you fall off a motorcycle?
1160
00:54:36,666 --> 00:54:39,767
- Did you eat nuts? Do you need an EpiPen?
- Why do you look like a bad IG filter?
1161
00:54:39,791 --> 00:54:41,500
Can periods happen to your face?
1162
00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:42,791
Shut up. Come in.
1163
00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:46,000
- [Tara] What are you wearing? Oh my God.
- [Nikki] Scandy!
1164
00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:46,958
[Stacy] Guys...
1165
00:54:47,041 --> 00:54:48,791
["Say So" by Doja Cat playing]
1166
00:54:48,875 --> 00:54:51,166
[camera shutter clicking]
1167
00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:55,142
[Nikki] Tara, you're putting the lighting
in the camera. Okay, yeah.
1168
00:54:55,166 --> 00:54:57,934
- Lift it higher. Make sure I'm glowing.
- [Tara] I'm not built for this.
1169
00:54:57,958 --> 00:55:00,791
You know, I really thought we were
just gonna hang out and make slime.
1170
00:55:00,875 --> 00:55:02,208
Oh my God, we're women now.
1171
00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:04,333
Maybe later.
1172
00:55:04,750 --> 00:55:05,750
How does this look?
1173
00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:08,416
Like your goldfish died.
1174
00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:09,500
Hey, just switch it up.
1175
00:55:10,041 --> 00:55:11,333
- [Tara] Okay.
- There you go.
1176
00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:14,250
Seduce me. Okay? Just seduce me.
1177
00:55:14,333 --> 00:55:16,791
Oh, way better. Slay, queen.
1178
00:55:16,875 --> 00:55:19,041
Guys, this is so lame.
1179
00:55:19,125 --> 00:55:21,767
I thought we could be, like,
this iconic best friend trio, you know?
1180
00:55:21,791 --> 00:55:23,625
Now that Lydia broke up with you and all.
1181
00:55:24,625 --> 00:55:28,333
Uh-oh. Now you look like all the goldfish
in the world just died.
1182
00:55:28,416 --> 00:55:31,875
[sighing] No, it's fine. Let's just take
more pictures and then change outfits.
1183
00:55:31,958 --> 00:55:34,250
- [Tara] There's more outfits?
- That's... Okay. Yeah.
1184
00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:35,791
[girls coughing]
1185
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,226
- [Tara] Are you serious?
- [Nikki] Geez, Stace.
1186
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:40,333
[Ronnie] Whoa, what is happening?
1187
00:55:40,875 --> 00:55:42,458
Uh, taking pictures.
1188
00:55:42,541 --> 00:55:43,958
You look insane.
1189
00:55:44,041 --> 00:55:46,250
Uh, we're gonna go get some boba
and then watch a movie,
1190
00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:47,625
Evil Dead 2, if you wanna come.
1191
00:55:47,708 --> 00:55:49,125
- Yeah, just...
- Oh, thank God.
1192
00:55:49,208 --> 00:55:50,208
Yes!
1193
00:55:50,250 --> 00:55:52,125
What happened to your armpits?
1194
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:54,541
Oh, I shaved this morning.
It did not go well.
1195
00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:57,250
It's fine! I didn't need you anyway.
1196
00:56:02,416 --> 00:56:04,416
[contemplative music playing]
1197
00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:06,916
[Stacy] Don't you love puzzles?
1198
00:56:08,250 --> 00:56:09,416
Puzzles are corny.
1199
00:56:09,916 --> 00:56:11,250
Facts.
1200
00:56:11,791 --> 00:56:13,125
[music fades]
1201
00:56:18,958 --> 00:56:22,166
I have a question. Is Lydia a good kisser?
1202
00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:24,625
She's a'ight.
1203
00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:26,958
A'ight? Huh.
1204
00:56:27,666 --> 00:56:29,791
Probably because you were her first kiss.
1205
00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:33,000
No, she's told me she's kissed a bunch
of guys before.
1206
00:56:33,708 --> 00:56:34,708
At camp?
1207
00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:36,541
Yes.
1208
00:56:36,625 --> 00:56:40,625
Does her tight-lipped technique
suggest a high level of experience?
1209
00:56:40,708 --> 00:56:44,083
Nah, it's like she thinks she's kissing
a stuffed animal or something.
1210
00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:46,708
Plus, every time I try to move my hand,
she starts laughing,
1211
00:56:46,791 --> 00:56:48,041
says she's mad ticklish.
1212
00:56:48,125 --> 00:56:50,666
[scoffing] You have the patience
of a saint.
1213
00:56:51,208 --> 00:56:52,416
A Jewish saint.
1214
00:56:54,125 --> 00:56:55,125
True.
1215
00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,583
[dramatic music playing]
1216
00:56:59,208 --> 00:57:00,625
Twenty points for me.
1217
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:01,958
Get it, Grandma.
1218
00:57:02,041 --> 00:57:05,000
Want a picture of you and your grandma
to prove to your moms you're here?
1219
00:57:05,666 --> 00:57:08,333
Uh, yeah. That's low-key a good idea.
1220
00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:11,333
Okay.
1221
00:57:16,458 --> 00:57:17,916
[camera shutter clicking]
1222
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,791
- [Andy] Yeah, Grandma.
- Hilarious.
1223
00:57:20,541 --> 00:57:22,341
I have to prove
to Rabbi Rebecca I'm here too.
1224
00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,416
I'm volunteering for my mitzvah project.
1225
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,416
- That's what's up.
- Here, I'll send it to you.
1226
00:57:26,916 --> 00:57:29,583
- For sure.
- Oh, shoot. I just sent you more pics.
1227
00:57:29,666 --> 00:57:31,500
- Just ignore.
- [cell phone] Andy Goldfarb.
1228
00:57:39,666 --> 00:57:40,958
Nice.
1229
00:57:44,250 --> 00:57:45,541
[music fades]
1230
00:57:46,375 --> 00:57:49,083
- [Stacy] That one's way too big on me.
- Okey-dokey.
1231
00:57:49,166 --> 00:57:50,833
[pop music playing over radio]
1232
00:57:50,916 --> 00:57:53,458
Well, why don't you try the strapless one?
1233
00:57:53,541 --> 00:57:54,541
[Stacy groaning]
1234
00:57:55,250 --> 00:57:58,333
[Bree] So, how's Lydia's entrance video
coming along?
1235
00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:01,333
I finished it this weekend.
1236
00:58:01,416 --> 00:58:02,416
[Bree] Great!
1237
00:58:02,958 --> 00:58:03,833
No.
1238
00:58:03,916 --> 00:58:05,083
Why is it a no?
1239
00:58:05,166 --> 00:58:06,750
[Stacy] Just... it's just a no.
1240
00:58:06,833 --> 00:58:08,916
Well, okay, then try the last one on.
1241
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,500
No, that's the worst one!
1242
00:58:10,583 --> 00:58:11,791
[Bree] Well, just try it!
1243
00:58:11,875 --> 00:58:13,041
[whining] Oh my God.
1244
00:58:13,125 --> 00:58:15,833
- [sighing heavily]
- [Stacy] It's so ugly, Mom.
1245
00:58:15,916 --> 00:58:17,875
Maybe it'll look good when it's on you.
1246
00:58:20,166 --> 00:58:22,416
[gasping] Oh.
1247
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:24,750
You know what?
1248
00:58:25,958 --> 00:58:27,291
I like this.
1249
00:58:27,375 --> 00:58:30,416
I look like the lady
at school that pulls kids out of class
1250
00:58:30,500 --> 00:58:32,416
when their parents get into car accidents.
1251
00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:34,041
How often does that happen?
1252
00:58:35,166 --> 00:58:38,958
Can we please get this dress?
Come on. It's the dream dress.
1253
00:58:39,041 --> 00:58:40,625
It costs more than our house.
1254
00:58:40,708 --> 00:58:43,375
Okay, so wear the cheap dress
in front of God. Got it.
1255
00:58:43,458 --> 00:58:44,708
[woman] It's not cheap.
1256
00:58:44,791 --> 00:58:46,250
It's reasonable.
1257
00:58:46,333 --> 00:58:49,458
That's what every kid wants to hear
on the most important day of their life.
1258
00:58:49,541 --> 00:58:51,916
"Wow, Stacy, you look so reasonable."
1259
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,833
You know what? This is a nice,
1260
00:58:54,833 --> 00:58:58,833
temple-friendly, well-priced dress. And...
1261
00:58:58,916 --> 00:59:02,166
No. Don't say it. Please, Mom.
Please, I beg you.
1262
00:59:02,666 --> 00:59:06,083
- We're gettin' it.
- Oh my God! You're ruining me!
1263
00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:08,958
So ugly, Mom.
1264
00:59:09,625 --> 00:59:13,083
- So, is this, like, a swipe or a chip?
- [cashier] Yeah, it's a chip.
1265
00:59:13,166 --> 00:59:16,458
[Bree] Good? Okay.
Wait, did I take it out too soon?
1266
00:59:19,208 --> 00:59:21,666
[Gabi] Why? We could color coordinate.
1267
00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:23,726
[Lydia] We're not color coordinating, Mom.
We're not doing that.
1268
00:59:23,750 --> 00:59:25,310
- You want to ruin me?
- [Gabi Okay. No.
1269
00:59:25,375 --> 00:59:27,708
It looks like something
the counselor at school wears, Mom.
1270
00:59:27,791 --> 00:59:30,166
- [Gabi] Okay, okay.
- [Lydia] Please, I'm not wearing that.
1271
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,416
- [Eli] Yeah, I got that app too.
- Eli!
1272
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,250
- [Eli] What?
- [Gabi] What do you think?
1273
00:59:35,333 --> 00:59:37,500
[Eli] What? Uh, Rudy, hold on a second.
1274
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,333
I'm at a family function or something, uh...
1275
00:59:41,208 --> 00:59:45,250
Yeah, that dress is gorgeous, kiddo.
Only the best.
1276
00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:47,851
[Lydia] Papi, you don't even know
which one we're talking about.
1277
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:50,708
It's the prettiest one.
Just like you, pumpkin.
1278
00:59:51,458 --> 00:59:53,833
Twenty-three skidoo! Wee!
1279
00:59:53,916 --> 00:59:56,625
Okay, yeah,
I think you gave me a good price.
1280
00:59:57,541 --> 01:00:00,000
Mom? Mom, can we go?
1281
01:00:00,083 --> 01:00:02,125
Yeah, okay. Take the dress.
1282
01:00:02,208 --> 01:00:03,833
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1283
01:00:03,916 --> 01:00:05,166
So great. We got a great deal.
1284
01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:06,601
Where's Daddy? I don't remember...
1285
01:00:06,625 --> 01:00:08,250
- No.
- [gasping] Gabi!
1286
01:00:08,333 --> 01:00:09,166
Bree?!
1287
01:00:09,250 --> 01:00:10,791
Lydia! Lydia's here...
1288
01:00:10,875 --> 01:00:12,875
Oh my God! I haven't seen you in forever!
1289
01:00:12,958 --> 01:00:14,125
[Bree] Hi!
1290
01:00:14,791 --> 01:00:17,631
[Gabi] Just like the two of us
to be getting dresses at the last minute.
1291
01:00:17,666 --> 01:00:19,208
[Bree] Why plan ahead, right?
1292
01:00:19,291 --> 01:00:20,333
[tense music playing]
1293
01:00:20,416 --> 01:00:21,708
[Gabi] How are you? How's Stace?
1294
01:00:21,791 --> 01:00:25,458
[Bree] She's good. I miss Lydia.
She hasn't been over in a while.
1295
01:00:25,541 --> 01:00:27,166
Eli! It's so great to see you.
1296
01:00:27,250 --> 01:00:28,416
How you doing?
1297
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:30,666
Terrific. We're getting divorced.
1298
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:34,166
Oh yeah. I'm... I heard. I'm so sorry.
1299
01:00:34,250 --> 01:00:36,583
I'm not. I'm on six dating apps.
1300
01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:38,541
Six? Wow, that's a lot.
1301
01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:40,041
Andy broke up with me.
1302
01:00:40,708 --> 01:00:43,500
Hmm. Sorry to hear that.
You were the perfect couple.
1303
01:00:44,583 --> 01:00:48,458
He said he couldn't deal with the
ticklishness or the closed mouth kissing.
1304
01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,166
Sucks for you, I guess.
1305
01:00:52,375 --> 01:00:55,750
Said he heard
I lied about kissing boys in camp.
1306
01:00:56,583 --> 01:00:59,625
Well, you did lie. So...
1307
01:01:01,041 --> 01:01:03,541
[indistinct chatter]
1308
01:01:05,583 --> 01:01:06,583
[Bree] See you at temple?
1309
01:01:06,666 --> 01:01:08,166
- See you at temple.
- Okay.
1310
01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:10,583
Anyhoo. Gonna go.
1311
01:01:11,458 --> 01:01:12,934
- [Bree] Happy shopping!
- [Gabi] Yeah!
1312
01:01:12,958 --> 01:01:14,875
- Bye, Eli! Enjoy those dating apps.
- Yeah.
1313
01:01:14,958 --> 01:01:16,916
- Bye, Stacy.
- See ya! Come on, honey.
1314
01:01:18,416 --> 01:01:19,666
What's that mom's name again?
1315
01:01:19,750 --> 01:01:21,375
Bree.
1316
01:01:21,458 --> 01:01:22,666
Are you kidding me?
1317
01:01:23,333 --> 01:01:25,958
You need to get your fat head
in the game, Eli.
1318
01:01:26,041 --> 01:01:29,083
Stacy's father, Danny,
if you could remember names,
1319
01:01:29,166 --> 01:01:33,375
who we've known since kindergarten,
is so involved in every single detail!
1320
01:01:33,458 --> 01:01:35,083
Oh, he is?
1321
01:01:35,166 --> 01:01:38,958
So, which detail is that?
1322
01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:43,291
- [Danny groaning]
- He's exhausted from being a good dad.
1323
01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:45,500
Honey. You wish. [scoffing]
1324
01:01:46,291 --> 01:01:47,541
Can we get ice cream?
1325
01:01:47,625 --> 01:01:49,458
[upbeat guitar playing]
1326
01:01:49,541 --> 01:01:52,000
- Did you guys already get ice cream?
- No, we didn't.
1327
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,416
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1328
01:01:56,041 --> 01:01:57,833
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1329
01:01:57,916 --> 01:01:59,333
♪ Chiri chiri chiri ♪
1330
01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:02,750
♪ Bim bam bim bim bam ♪
1331
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:06,000
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1332
01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:08,041
- [both] ♪ Shabbat shalom ♪
- [Jerry] Hey!
1333
01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:09,833
- [both] ♪ Shabbat shalom ♪
- [Jerry] Hey!
1334
01:02:09,916 --> 01:02:13,250
♪ Shabbat, shabbat
Shabbat, shabbat shalom ♪
1335
01:02:13,333 --> 01:02:16,416
♪ Bim bam bim bim bim bam ♪
1336
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:20,083
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1337
01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:21,392
[in sing-song voice]
Yes, Seema?
1338
01:02:21,416 --> 01:02:23,625
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- [Rebecca] Yes you can.
1339
01:02:23,708 --> 01:02:27,291
Go pee-pee, but quickly.
1340
01:02:27,375 --> 01:02:28,541
So quickly.
1341
01:02:29,541 --> 01:02:34,666
♪ Bim bim bim bim bim bam ♪
1342
01:02:36,291 --> 01:02:39,416
- [Rebecca] Thank you, thank you!
- Bravo! Slay, queen!
1343
01:02:41,333 --> 01:02:45,083
Does anyone know the significance
of that particular piece of music, huh?
1344
01:02:45,875 --> 01:02:48,708
Yes, Andy, please enlighten us.
1345
01:02:49,666 --> 01:02:51,500
I gotta go to the bathroom too.
1346
01:02:51,583 --> 01:02:54,125
No one thinks to take a whiz
before they come to class?
1347
01:02:54,208 --> 01:02:56,041
Fine, Andy, but quickly!
1348
01:02:56,125 --> 01:02:59,291
- So quickly.
- So quickly.
1349
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:01,416
[class] So quickly.
1350
01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:03,166
[Jerry] Go, Andy.
1351
01:03:03,250 --> 01:03:04,875
[class] Go, Andy.
1352
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,541
[Jerry] Good luck, Andy.
1353
01:03:06,625 --> 01:03:08,666
[class] Good luck, Andy.
1354
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:13,875
Hopefully, it's not number two!
1355
01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:15,583
[class chuckling]
1356
01:03:15,666 --> 01:03:16,666
[toilet flushing]
1357
01:03:16,708 --> 01:03:18,916
[boy] It's Mr. Mateo!
1358
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,458
[kids clamoring]
1359
01:03:20,541 --> 01:03:23,416
- Mr. Potatoes.
- [girl] Mr. Potato.
1360
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:24,416
Hey, Stacy!
1361
01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:27,958
Can't believe you're not even Jewish,
and you come to temple more than I do.
1362
01:03:28,041 --> 01:03:30,666
Yeah, I go to church every Sunday.
1363
01:03:30,750 --> 01:03:34,666
Might as well fill in the other six days
for some, you know, holiness too.
1364
01:03:34,750 --> 01:03:37,291
I'm actually going
to help these guys make challah.
1365
01:03:37,375 --> 01:03:40,750
- [kids] Challah!
- Okay, okay! Challah, challah.
1366
01:03:40,833 --> 01:03:42,583
- That's what I said!
- [Stacy laughing]
1367
01:03:42,666 --> 01:03:45,083
I'm waiting here for Mrs. Lippman
to unlock the kitchen.
1368
01:03:45,166 --> 01:03:46,250
She's taking forever.
1369
01:03:46,333 --> 01:03:50,083
I remember when I had Mrs. Lippman,
six years old, not a care in the world.
1370
01:03:50,166 --> 01:03:51,000
[girl] I got cares.
1371
01:03:51,083 --> 01:03:54,041
My mom says
if I don't learn the candle blessings,
1372
01:03:54,125 --> 01:03:56,666
I can't play Call of Duty anymore!
1373
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:57,833
Oh, that's heavy.
1374
01:03:57,916 --> 01:04:02,000
Or maybe Mr. Mateo will teach you.
He probably knows it by now.
1375
01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:04,708
[Mateo, singing in Hebrew]
Baruch Atah Adonai,
1376
01:04:04,791 --> 01:04:07,041
- Eloheinu Melech ha'o...
- [kids clamoring]
1377
01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:07,958
[kids cheer]
1378
01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:09,833
- Mrs. Lippman!
- [mouthing] Bye.
1379
01:04:09,916 --> 01:04:11,041
See you later, Stacy.
1380
01:04:11,541 --> 01:04:13,250
[contemplative music playing]
1381
01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,625
- Hi, Mike.
- [Mike] Shalom, Stacy.
1382
01:04:31,333 --> 01:04:32,333
What's up?
1383
01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:34,500
Hi.
1384
01:04:34,875 --> 01:04:35,875
[Andy] Hey, uh...
1385
01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,791
Have you ever kissed anyone?
1386
01:04:39,291 --> 01:04:40,750
[Stacy chuckling nervously]
1387
01:04:41,333 --> 01:04:43,125
Uh, no.
1388
01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:46,041
Would you want to?
1389
01:04:47,625 --> 01:04:48,625
Yeah.
1390
01:04:49,750 --> 01:04:51,375
All right, come on, let's go.
1391
01:04:54,041 --> 01:04:55,041
Come on.
1392
01:05:00,750 --> 01:05:02,875
- [girl] Um, someone's in here!
- [boy] Go away!
1393
01:05:02,958 --> 01:05:03,833
[kids giggling]
1394
01:05:03,916 --> 01:05:05,541
[whispering] Where could we go?
1395
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:08,250
Come on. Let's go.
1396
01:05:12,666 --> 01:05:14,666
[dramatic music playing]
1397
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,333
[music stops]
1398
01:05:33,416 --> 01:05:34,416
[Andy sighing]
1399
01:05:37,916 --> 01:05:39,958
No one's gonna find us in here.
1400
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:44,416
I don't know,
I just feel like God's gonna be mad.
1401
01:05:45,791 --> 01:05:49,375
Nah, God's gonna be stoked
that we like each other so much.
1402
01:05:51,291 --> 01:05:52,291
You're right.
1403
01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:03,250
This is not the bathroom!
1404
01:06:03,333 --> 01:06:04,333
[whispering] Oh no.
1405
01:06:04,375 --> 01:06:05,750
[Rebecca] Do you see a toilet?!
1406
01:06:05,833 --> 01:06:07,458
I didn't think so!
1407
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:09,333
I didn't need to go.
1408
01:06:10,041 --> 01:06:12,250
Well, mazel tov, you guys are married now.
1409
01:06:13,208 --> 01:06:14,833
Kidding, but you're in a lot of trouble.
1410
01:06:15,541 --> 01:06:18,458
In front of the Torah?
What were you thinking?
1411
01:06:18,541 --> 01:06:21,375
I said I was sorry.
Why is Andy not getting in trouble?
1412
01:06:21,458 --> 01:06:22,458
Oh, he's in trouble!
1413
01:06:22,541 --> 01:06:25,416
He's a repeat offender. We're handling it.
1414
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:26,900
I hope my father doesn't handle it.
1415
01:06:26,958 --> 01:06:29,416
He'll put him in a wood chipper.
They'll never find his body.
1416
01:06:29,500 --> 01:06:30,833
[somber music playing]
1417
01:06:30,916 --> 01:06:35,375
Seema, we're only a few weeks away
from your Bat Mitz. Okay, cutie-pops?
1418
01:06:35,458 --> 01:06:37,916
This is supposed to be
the most important day of your life,
1419
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,708
and you're not taking it seriously at all.
1420
01:06:40,791 --> 01:06:42,666
You haven't even done
your mitzvah project yet.
1421
01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:45,416
I did my mitzvah project.
I volunteered at the retirement home.
1422
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:48,875
So you could do a mitzvah,
or so you could flirt with a boy?
1423
01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:51,125
How did you know that?
1424
01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:55,041
Let's just say there's
a wonderful woman there, Mrs. O'Leary,
1425
01:06:55,125 --> 01:07:00,500
who wishes to convert to Judaism,
and you never brought her bookies!
1426
01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:04,125
Yeah, you're not the only one
who's amazing at impressions.
1427
01:07:04,625 --> 01:07:05,625
I'll do better.
1428
01:07:06,458 --> 01:07:10,291
Let me take off
my "rabbi hat" for a second
1429
01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:12,708
and put on my "tough love hat."
1430
01:07:14,791 --> 01:07:18,166
If you don't shape up, your Bat Mitzvah
is gonna be cancelled, sis.
1431
01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:22,500
And that's the way
the hamantaschen crumbles. Capisce?
1432
01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:33,666
Yes, we understand, Rabbi Rebecca.
1433
01:07:33,750 --> 01:07:36,125
She doesn't really even deserve
a second chance.
1434
01:07:36,208 --> 01:07:37,208
We thank you for that.
1435
01:07:37,250 --> 01:07:38,333
[Rebecca] Mm-hmm.
1436
01:07:38,416 --> 01:07:42,416
Oh, and just please
calm your husband down.
1437
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:46,750
Okay? Tell him don't put Andy Goldfarb
in a wood chipper.
1438
01:07:46,833 --> 01:07:49,416
- [Bree] She just walked in.
- [Rebecca] Oh. Okay, good luck.
1439
01:07:51,625 --> 01:07:54,666
Dad, take a breath.
Just talk to her. Don't yell.
1440
01:07:56,791 --> 01:07:58,125
[music stops]
1441
01:07:59,041 --> 01:08:00,416
He didn't take a breath.
1442
01:08:00,500 --> 01:08:01,500
No.
1443
01:08:05,083 --> 01:08:05,958
[door opening]
1444
01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:07,958
Hey. We don't slam doors in this house.
1445
01:08:08,041 --> 01:08:10,601
- Dad, I need a break.
- [Danny] Well, welcome to being an adult.
1446
01:08:10,625 --> 01:08:12,625
And welcome to being Jewish.
We don't get breaks.
1447
01:08:12,708 --> 01:08:13,958
Oh my God! Stop!
1448
01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:15,875
[Danny] Kissing a boy in a temple?
1449
01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:18,208
You know how disrespectful that is?
1450
01:08:18,291 --> 01:08:23,458
Every time you walk into that synagogue,
you are declaring to everyone and God,
1451
01:08:23,541 --> 01:08:26,208
"I'm Jewish, and I am part of this!"
1452
01:08:26,291 --> 01:08:27,583
Well, maybe I don't want to be!
1453
01:08:27,666 --> 01:08:28,750
Yes, you do!
1454
01:08:28,833 --> 01:08:30,375
I was born into God's kingdom!
1455
01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:33,416
Yeah? Well, God wants you out right now!
How's that?
1456
01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:35,583
- I hate you!
- [Danny] You don't mean that.
1457
01:08:35,666 --> 01:08:38,208
Wow, I never said that to him,
and I was nuts.
1458
01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:39,934
- [Danny] You hate me?!
- [knocking on door]
1459
01:08:39,958 --> 01:08:42,666
[Stacy] I do. You're a jerk,
and you won't let me have a mojito bar.
1460
01:08:42,750 --> 01:08:43,583
Gabi!
1461
01:08:43,666 --> 01:08:44,500
Hi!
1462
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:46,625
[Danny] That's why we fought the Nazis?
1463
01:08:46,708 --> 01:08:48,333
So you could have a mojito bar?
1464
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:49,708
Is this a bad time?
1465
01:08:49,791 --> 01:08:52,708
- Um, no. What's... what's going on?
- [Danny] Are you nuts?
1466
01:08:52,791 --> 01:08:55,391
Well, Stacy was supposed
to do that video for Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1467
01:08:55,416 --> 01:08:56,791
Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course, right.
1468
01:08:56,875 --> 01:08:58,795
[Stacy] Get out of my room!
Stop ruining my life!
1469
01:08:58,833 --> 01:09:00,833
- Anyways...
- [Danny] I paid for this room!
1470
01:09:00,916 --> 01:09:01,791
She never sent it.
1471
01:09:01,875 --> 01:09:04,795
I was in the neighborhood, and thought
I'd pop by and see if it was ready.
1472
01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:06,017
- [screaming]
- [Danny] Really?
1473
01:09:06,041 --> 01:09:08,791
Oh, hi, Ronnie. Hi, Zaara. How's it going?
1474
01:09:08,875 --> 01:09:11,083
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb?
That's who you pick?
1475
01:09:11,166 --> 01:09:13,083
[both] Great! Nice to see you.
1476
01:09:13,166 --> 01:09:15,125
You girls got so big. How's high school?
1477
01:09:15,208 --> 01:09:17,250
[Stacy] You'll be the reason
I start doing drugs!
1478
01:09:17,333 --> 01:09:18,458
[Danny] Same here!
1479
01:09:18,541 --> 01:09:19,375
Hard.
1480
01:09:19,458 --> 01:09:20,833
Very, very stressful.
1481
01:09:20,916 --> 01:09:21,916
[Danny] Good God!
1482
01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:25,583
Um, I think that Stacy said
she finished the video this weekend,
1483
01:09:25,666 --> 01:09:27,791
so I can just email it to you ASAP.
1484
01:09:27,875 --> 01:09:30,892
Thanks. Lydia keeps talking about how
she doesn't wanna have a video anymore.
1485
01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:33,017
- I know she'd regret it.
- [Danny] You're on your own! Good luck!
1486
01:09:33,041 --> 01:09:34,434
[Stacy, shouting]
I hope you die before Mom!
1487
01:09:34,458 --> 01:09:37,058
- [Danny] I'm taking you with me!
- We'll see you. Mazel tov! Bye!
1488
01:09:37,666 --> 01:09:38,833
[tense music playing]
1489
01:09:38,916 --> 01:09:40,916
[Bree sighing]
1490
01:09:50,125 --> 01:09:52,208
[tense music swelling]
1491
01:09:54,041 --> 01:09:57,541
[Danny] Andy Goldfarb
is going in the goddamn wood chipper!
1492
01:09:57,625 --> 01:09:59,083
- [keyboard clicking]
- Okay.
1493
01:09:59,166 --> 01:10:01,166
["Now I'm In It" by HAIM playing]
1494
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,560
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy here.
1495
01:10:05,958 --> 01:10:10,166
So, as you probably already know,
Lydia's Bat Mitzvah is coming up,
1496
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:12,333
and I really don't know what to do.
1497
01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:15,083
I'm not even sure if she wants me there.
1498
01:10:15,166 --> 01:10:17,125
- [girls laughing]
- [kids clamoring]
1499
01:10:19,666 --> 01:10:21,986
[Stacy, continuing] If I was in
this situation a month ago,
1500
01:10:22,041 --> 01:10:24,000
I would've asked my friends what to do.
1501
01:10:24,875 --> 01:10:26,541
Hey, look, we're twinning.
1502
01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:28,875
[Megan] Twinning?
1503
01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:30,666
What are we in fourth grade?
1504
01:10:31,375 --> 01:10:33,434
[Stacy, continuing] But the people
I'm hanging out with now,
1505
01:10:33,458 --> 01:10:35,666
I don't know
if they'd have such good advice.
1506
01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:38,375
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
et b'ney Moshe...
1507
01:10:38,458 --> 01:10:40,226
[Stacy, narrating]
I've actually been working hard
1508
01:10:40,250 --> 01:10:43,166
because I want to have a good Bat Mitzvah
and a good life.
1509
01:10:43,666 --> 01:10:46,583
[continuing in Hebrew]
kedushah ha-nasi...
1510
01:10:46,666 --> 01:10:49,083
I don't know how to fix things with Lydia,
1511
01:10:49,166 --> 01:10:50,458
or if I should,
1512
01:10:50,541 --> 01:10:52,208
or if it's even possible.
1513
01:10:52,291 --> 01:10:56,791
[Stacy practicing in Hebrew]
al panav ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1514
01:10:56,875 --> 01:10:58,041
Booyah!
1515
01:10:58,583 --> 01:11:01,208
So I've been focusing
on my new mitzvah project.
1516
01:11:01,291 --> 01:11:02,500
♪ 'Cause now I'm in it ♪
1517
01:11:03,083 --> 01:11:04,666
♪ But I've been trying... ♪
1518
01:11:04,750 --> 01:11:07,101
{\an8}[Stacy, narrating] And maybe,
if I start doing good things...
1519
01:11:07,125 --> 01:11:07,958
I got you.
1520
01:11:08,041 --> 01:11:09,875
...good things will start happening to me.
1521
01:11:12,250 --> 01:11:13,250
[coin clanking]
1522
01:11:15,958 --> 01:11:17,000
Thanks.
1523
01:11:17,791 --> 01:11:20,434
[Stacy, continuing] That's more of
a Buddhist concept than a Jewish one,
1524
01:11:20,458 --> 01:11:21,958
but, hey, at this point, I'm...
1525
01:11:22,041 --> 01:11:23,083
[Schmuley] Friedman?
1526
01:11:23,916 --> 01:11:25,500
What the hell are you doing?
1527
01:11:25,583 --> 01:11:27,291
Your meter was expired.
1528
01:11:27,375 --> 01:11:29,250
Yes, I wanted it to be expired.
1529
01:11:29,333 --> 01:11:31,208
The meter maid is a sexual icon,
1530
01:11:31,291 --> 01:11:33,375
and I wanted a chance to hit on her.
1531
01:11:33,458 --> 01:11:35,958
Now I have to wait 45 minutes!
1532
01:11:36,041 --> 01:11:37,801
You're not supposed
to call them meter maids.
1533
01:11:37,875 --> 01:11:39,583
And why are you in a handicapped spot?
1534
01:11:40,166 --> 01:11:41,666
Everybody loves a bad boy.
1535
01:11:42,458 --> 01:11:44,458
Gross. That's a $500 fine.
1536
01:11:44,541 --> 01:11:45,625
Huh?
1537
01:11:54,208 --> 01:11:56,166
[dance music playing on stereo]
1538
01:11:56,250 --> 01:11:58,666
- [tires screeching]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1539
01:11:58,750 --> 01:11:59,750
[Stacy gasping]
1540
01:12:01,625 --> 01:12:02,625
What the heck, man?
1541
01:12:03,250 --> 01:12:04,416
It was her fault!
1542
01:12:05,125 --> 01:12:06,916
- [man] Her?
- [Schmuley] She did it!
1543
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:08,333
- [man] We know that kid.
- What?
1544
01:12:08,416 --> 01:12:11,250
- She goes out with the basketball guy.
- Exactly.
1545
01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:13,375
[car window rolling down]
1546
01:12:22,166 --> 01:12:24,125
[somber music playing]
1547
01:12:24,208 --> 01:12:25,458
[Bree] Stace?
1548
01:12:25,541 --> 01:12:27,000
[footsteps approaching]
1549
01:12:27,083 --> 01:12:28,083
[Bree] Honey?
1550
01:12:29,625 --> 01:12:31,041
Why aren't you ready yet?
1551
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,625
I don't want to go.
1552
01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:35,166
[Bree] Yes, you do.
1553
01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:37,625
This is Lydia's Bat Mitzvah.
1554
01:12:38,541 --> 01:12:40,958
- She doesn't even want me there.
- [Bree] Honey.
1555
01:12:41,041 --> 01:12:43,416
I don't know what's happening
between you two,
1556
01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:46,541
but I know things must feel
really messed up right now.
1557
01:12:46,625 --> 01:12:50,583
I know she hurt you,
but I'm sure she misses her best friend.
1558
01:12:52,875 --> 01:12:54,833
You need to make things right.
1559
01:12:58,291 --> 01:12:59,750
- Okay?
- [Stacy] Yeah.
1560
01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:02,208
[Bree] Okay,
I think you should wear this towel.
1561
01:13:02,291 --> 01:13:04,416
- It's a good accessory.
- It's very stylish.
1562
01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:05,750
- Don't you think?
- Yeah.
1563
01:13:05,833 --> 01:13:07,333
[contemplative music playing]
1564
01:13:07,416 --> 01:13:08,875
[indistinct chatter]
1565
01:13:10,958 --> 01:13:13,958
Oy! Hey! Hey, slow down!
1566
01:13:14,041 --> 01:13:16,208
- Feel the breeze, Grandma!
- Oh my, ah!
1567
01:13:16,291 --> 01:13:18,625
I can see why you fell for him so hard.
1568
01:13:21,916 --> 01:13:23,559
[Bree] You're wearin' the suit
for me, huh?
1569
01:13:23,583 --> 01:13:26,208
- [Danny] Yeah. Lydia gets the suit.
- [Bree] Oh, it's for Lydia.
1570
01:13:29,416 --> 01:13:30,958
[Schmuley yelling in Hebrew]
1571
01:13:31,041 --> 01:13:33,000
- [funky song playing]
- [Schmuley groaning]
1572
01:13:33,083 --> 01:13:35,041
[indistinct chatter]
1573
01:13:37,208 --> 01:13:38,888
- We love you guys!
- Thank you for coming.
1574
01:13:38,916 --> 01:13:40,291
[Bree] Lydia! Look at you!
1575
01:13:40,375 --> 01:13:41,666
Oh my God!
1576
01:13:41,750 --> 01:13:43,166
- This is exquisite!
- [inaudible]
1577
01:13:43,791 --> 01:13:47,041
Gabi, you've outdone yourself, girl.
Really, it's gorgeous.
1578
01:13:47,125 --> 01:13:48,833
[Gabi] Stacy, I'm so glad you came!
1579
01:13:48,916 --> 01:13:51,125
Lydia said you've been so busy
with show choir.
1580
01:13:52,083 --> 01:13:53,583
Yeah, the show's going really great.
1581
01:13:53,666 --> 01:13:54,916
[Gabi] That's exciting.
1582
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:56,000
Can you girls believe it?
1583
01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:58,791
You've been planning this
your whole lives, and it's finally here!
1584
01:13:58,875 --> 01:14:02,125
Uh, well, it's time to get hammered.
1585
01:14:02,208 --> 01:14:03,083
[chuckling] Okay.
1586
01:14:03,166 --> 01:14:04,833
Ooh, maybe he'll pass out.
1587
01:14:04,916 --> 01:14:07,833
You! I saw you today at temple.
The Haftarah.
1588
01:14:07,916 --> 01:14:09,125
[smacking lips] Spot on.
1589
01:14:09,208 --> 01:14:11,750
- Thank you, Mr. Friedman.
- Lydia, you look so pretty!
1590
01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:12,875
[Lydia] Well, thank you.
1591
01:14:12,958 --> 01:14:16,625
- You got the Twizzlers station?
- Yeah, it's back there. I got it for you.
1592
01:14:16,708 --> 01:14:18,375
[girls] Yay! [giggling]
1593
01:14:18,458 --> 01:14:21,291
[sing-songy] Your New York theme
is gonna be amazing!
1594
01:14:21,375 --> 01:14:23,375
[in accent] Thank you for coming, madam.
1595
01:14:23,458 --> 01:14:25,583
[in accent] Well,
thank you for inviting me.
1596
01:14:25,666 --> 01:14:27,291
[Nikki] Lyd! There you are!
1597
01:14:27,375 --> 01:14:28,875
- [Tara] Hey!
- You're up! Come on!
1598
01:14:28,958 --> 01:14:30,158
Ready for your grand entrance?
1599
01:14:31,041 --> 01:14:32,958
[in accent] Come on! Places, cutie-pops.
1600
01:14:33,041 --> 01:14:34,291
[girls giggling]
1601
01:14:34,375 --> 01:14:36,017
- See you after.
- That's a good impression.
1602
01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:37,161
[Gabi] See you. Bye, Ronnie!
1603
01:14:37,208 --> 01:14:39,333
- That felt good, huh?
- Yeah.
1604
01:14:40,791 --> 01:14:41,791
- Wow!
- Wow!
1605
01:14:43,541 --> 01:14:45,166
- [Bree] Hey!
- [Danny] Oh, hey!
1606
01:14:45,250 --> 01:14:47,541
We're sitting with the Lamonsoffs.
I love it!
1607
01:14:47,625 --> 01:14:48,666
Good to see ya.
1608
01:14:49,791 --> 01:14:51,416
[knocking on door]
1609
01:14:51,500 --> 01:14:52,500
What up?
1610
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,458
[man] You ready, DJ? The party's starting.
1611
01:14:55,541 --> 01:14:59,291
All right, I'll be right there!
I'm just getting my mind right!
1612
01:15:02,375 --> 01:15:03,416
[Schmuley sighing]
1613
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:05,833
It's Schmuley time.
1614
01:15:07,791 --> 01:15:08,875
So let's go.
1615
01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:15,416
All right! Put your hands up in the air
like you just don't care, because...
1616
01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:20,458
It is officially
Lydia Katz Rodriguez's Bat Mitzvah!
1617
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:22,833
[all cheering]
1618
01:15:22,916 --> 01:15:25,833
[Schmuley] Woo!
Oh yeah, you got it, Grandma!
1619
01:15:25,916 --> 01:15:27,291
[inaudible]
1620
01:15:31,125 --> 01:15:34,041
Yeah, nobody does it
like DJ Schmuley, huh?
1621
01:15:34,125 --> 01:15:35,125
I guess.
1622
01:15:35,208 --> 01:15:37,500
["A Little Bit of Love" by Weezer playing]
1623
01:15:44,666 --> 01:15:46,208
[crowd exclaiming]
1624
01:15:46,916 --> 01:15:49,291
My little sweet baby.
1625
01:15:52,125 --> 01:15:53,250
Bubelah!
1626
01:15:53,333 --> 01:15:54,208
Tatelah!
1627
01:15:54,291 --> 01:15:55,291
Meydelah!
1628
01:15:55,375 --> 01:15:57,708
Shayna punim!
1629
01:16:03,250 --> 01:16:06,083
- Remember that? Kindergarten, first day?
- Yeah, yeah.
1630
01:16:06,166 --> 01:16:07,750
Yeah, you took my parking spot.
1631
01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:10,500
Mm-hmm.
Not sure that was me, but either way.
1632
01:16:10,583 --> 01:16:11,583
Okay.
1633
01:16:11,666 --> 01:16:13,458
[crowd exclaiming]
1634
01:16:14,666 --> 01:16:16,708
If that was you and a boy,
what would you do?
1635
01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:21,250
[all chuckling]
1636
01:16:23,166 --> 01:16:25,166
[tense music playing]
1637
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:30,101
[Stacy, on video] We're waiting for her
to pop a pimple.
1638
01:16:30,125 --> 01:16:32,041
Stace, what's going on?
What are you doing?
1639
01:16:32,541 --> 01:16:33,958
[crowd laughing]
1640
01:16:35,125 --> 01:16:36,125
Look at that.
1641
01:16:37,166 --> 01:16:38,767
[Stacy, on video]
Why do you always do that?
1642
01:16:38,791 --> 01:16:40,708
Because I like the way my feet smell!
1643
01:16:40,791 --> 01:16:42,250
[Stacy, on video] This isn't normal!
1644
01:16:43,958 --> 01:16:46,041
Schmuley, turn off the video.
Please, please, please!
1645
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:49,000
Schmuley! Turn off the video!
1646
01:16:49,083 --> 01:16:51,041
It's getting big reactions.
What's wrong with it?
1647
01:16:51,125 --> 01:16:54,375
It's getting a horrible reaction!
Please, just turn it off!
1648
01:16:54,458 --> 01:16:56,578
- [all laughing]
- [Tara] She sounds like a lawnmower.
1649
01:16:58,041 --> 01:16:59,500
That was not a snore!
1650
01:16:59,583 --> 01:17:01,041
[girls giggling]
1651
01:17:01,125 --> 01:17:02,958
- [Lydia] What's that smell?
- Oh God.
1652
01:17:03,041 --> 01:17:05,250
[Lydia] Kym and Megan and Anya, they suck.
1653
01:17:05,333 --> 01:17:06,625
They're horrible.
1654
01:17:06,708 --> 01:17:10,583
Oh, I want cute, designer stuff,
but make sure it's, like, eco-friendly.
1655
01:17:10,666 --> 01:17:12,291
- I'm sorry.
- [Lydia] They're very dumb.
1656
01:17:12,375 --> 01:17:13,458
It's kinda true though.
1657
01:17:13,541 --> 01:17:15,416
Shut up! It's not.
1658
01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:17,860
- I got a full booger.
- Stop! Erase that right now. Please!
1659
01:17:18,958 --> 01:17:20,601
[Stacy, on video] Her real toes are hairy.
1660
01:17:20,625 --> 01:17:23,041
[Lydia] Remember when that string
on my tampon broke?
1661
01:17:23,125 --> 01:17:24,416
I think I peed myself!
1662
01:17:24,500 --> 01:17:25,958
Oh my God.
1663
01:17:26,041 --> 01:17:28,583
Have you ever farted from the front?
1664
01:17:28,666 --> 01:17:30,184
[Stacy, on video]
Yeah, like your vajayjay?
1665
01:17:30,208 --> 01:17:31,892
- [Lydia] Want me to show you?
- [Stacy] Yes.
1666
01:17:31,916 --> 01:17:33,125
[Lydia] I have to prepare.
1667
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,291
[flatulating]
1668
01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,000
[Lydia] I was showing them how to queef.
1669
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:40,333
[woman] Is that
what kids talk about today?
1670
01:17:40,416 --> 01:17:42,583
Tampons and frontal farts?
1671
01:17:42,666 --> 01:17:44,333
You better not show this to anyone.
1672
01:17:44,416 --> 01:17:45,333
Oh my God.
1673
01:17:45,416 --> 01:17:47,458
I swear to God,
if you show this to anyone...
1674
01:17:47,541 --> 01:17:49,708
- Schmuley did this?
- I... I...
1675
01:17:49,791 --> 01:17:50,791
Schmuley?
1676
01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:55,250
Thanks for watching, bye!
1677
01:17:58,875 --> 01:18:00,515
- Why would Stacy do that?
- I don't know.
1678
01:18:02,375 --> 01:18:03,833
[crowd exclaiming, murmuring]
1679
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:06,916
Okay, even I'm not that mean.
1680
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:08,875
- You're pretty mean.
- Yeah, you suck.
1681
01:18:25,708 --> 01:18:27,125
Turn it off, turn it off!
1682
01:18:27,208 --> 01:18:29,583
Lydia! Lydia, I didn't mean to...
1683
01:18:29,666 --> 01:18:31,958
[Lydia] Stop! You didn't mean to?
1684
01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:34,802
Like you didn't mean to tell everyone
I had a black hair on my nipple,
1685
01:18:34,833 --> 01:18:36,083
or that Andy was my first kiss?
1686
01:18:36,166 --> 01:18:38,500
- No, but this is different!
- Just stop lying, Stacy!
1687
01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:41,208
I have tried to apologize,
but you keep punishing me!
1688
01:18:41,291 --> 01:18:43,666
- When is it enough, Stacy?
- Now, it's enough!
1689
01:18:43,750 --> 01:18:44,750
It's too late!
1690
01:18:45,166 --> 01:18:46,166
[Gabi] Lydia!
1691
01:18:47,583 --> 01:18:50,309
["Hang the Moon" by Matthew Bair,
Katelyn Tarver, Sadie Sandler playing]
1692
01:18:50,333 --> 01:18:54,041
♪ I saw us only in the highlights ♪
1693
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:56,083
[Stacy crying]
1694
01:18:57,708 --> 01:18:58,791
[Stacy sniffling]
1695
01:18:58,875 --> 01:19:02,208
♪ A picture of me... ♪
1696
01:19:02,291 --> 01:19:04,541
I should go up and see her.
I gotta talk to her.
1697
01:19:04,625 --> 01:19:07,041
No, I'm the one who sent the damn video.
I should go.
1698
01:19:07,125 --> 01:19:10,291
Neither of you guys should go up there.
She needs to process this herself.
1699
01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:11,291
No, honey, she needs...
1700
01:19:11,375 --> 01:19:13,495
I know what she needs
'cause I know how she's feeling.
1701
01:19:13,541 --> 01:19:14,976
How would you know what she's feeling?
1702
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,583
Even your crazy ass
never did anything that stupid.
1703
01:19:17,666 --> 01:19:19,916
True, but I've seen some similar TikToks.
1704
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:22,833
And the "even your crazy ass"
was gaslighting.
1705
01:19:23,708 --> 01:19:25,188
Yeah, you're right. Sorry about that.
1706
01:19:25,250 --> 01:19:27,583
This is gonna be difficult
for you to hear, Danny and Bree,
1707
01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:29,083
but from this point forward,
1708
01:19:29,166 --> 01:19:33,166
there's going to be a whole huge part
of Stacy that you don't understand,
1709
01:19:33,250 --> 01:19:36,166
that you won't ever understand,
no matter how much you want to,
1710
01:19:36,250 --> 01:19:37,500
and that's just the way it is.
1711
01:19:38,583 --> 01:19:41,125
Don't ever call us Danny
and Bree again, Zaara.
1712
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,333
Yeah, that was weird.
1713
01:19:42,416 --> 01:19:44,666
Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Friedman.
1714
01:19:46,041 --> 01:19:47,750
To me, that was gaslighting.
1715
01:19:51,250 --> 01:19:55,583
[Stacy, narrating]
God, everything is such a mess.
1716
01:19:56,833 --> 01:19:58,875
I've never felt this way before.
1717
01:20:01,750 --> 01:20:04,500
And I don't know how to fix it.
1718
01:20:07,791 --> 01:20:11,583
♪ When you said it was love
Did you mean it? ♪
1719
01:20:12,083 --> 01:20:16,166
♪ Or did I make it up? Did I dream it? ♪
1720
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:20,166
♪ For a while I was fooled
I believed it ♪
1721
01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:24,458
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1722
01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:31,500
♪ But you can hang the moon ♪
1723
01:20:31,583 --> 01:20:35,375
[Stacy, narrating] Well, I'm sure you got
this day marked in your holy calendar too,
1724
01:20:35,458 --> 01:20:37,541
but today is my Bat Mitzvah.
1725
01:20:37,625 --> 01:20:40,375
The most important day of my Jewish life.
1726
01:20:40,458 --> 01:20:42,625
Maybe even my entire life.
1727
01:20:43,208 --> 01:20:44,750
But what's the point?
1728
01:20:44,833 --> 01:20:46,083
[Bree] Let's do this!
1729
01:20:48,666 --> 01:20:50,416
You're kidding me. Again?
1730
01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,666
This time, I'm serious. I am not going.
1731
01:20:52,750 --> 01:20:55,000
Oh, you're going.
Get dressed. Get in the car.
1732
01:20:55,083 --> 01:20:56,923
- I can't, and I won't.
- [tense music playing]
1733
01:20:56,958 --> 01:20:59,791
Okay, fine. Say goodbye to your phone.
1734
01:21:01,541 --> 01:21:03,416
Fine. Who am I texting anyway?
1735
01:21:05,541 --> 01:21:06,541
[music stops]
1736
01:21:06,916 --> 01:21:10,500
There is nothing you can say or do
that will make me go.
1737
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:13,833
I'm an adult today,
and I can make my own decisions,
1738
01:21:13,916 --> 01:21:16,458
and I have decided that I am staying here.
1739
01:21:17,750 --> 01:21:20,430
- [screaming] Put me down, put me down!
- [Danny] Hey. Come on. Hey.
1740
01:21:20,500 --> 01:21:22,625
Ronnie! [screaming]
1741
01:21:22,708 --> 01:21:25,416
That is some amazing parenting
right there.
1742
01:21:25,500 --> 01:21:27,708
- [Stacy] No! Don't! [screaming]
- [Danny] Hey.
1743
01:21:27,791 --> 01:21:30,041
[indistinct chatter]
1744
01:21:32,708 --> 01:21:34,666
Hey, how are those armpits doing?
1745
01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:36,750
You know how they say
that it grows back double?
1746
01:21:36,833 --> 01:21:38,041
It's growing back triple.
1747
01:21:38,125 --> 01:21:39,000
Oh.
1748
01:21:39,083 --> 01:21:40,000
Yeah.
1749
01:21:40,083 --> 01:21:41,883
- [Stacy screaming]
- [Bree] Pull it together!
1750
01:21:42,250 --> 01:21:43,333
[crowd murmuring]
1751
01:21:43,416 --> 01:21:44,625
[Bree chuckling nervously]
1752
01:21:44,708 --> 01:21:46,750
- [Danny] Calm down.
- I don't want to go.
1753
01:21:46,833 --> 01:21:47,875
Can you stop?
1754
01:21:48,791 --> 01:21:49,916
H-hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
1755
01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:52,083
Shabbat shalom.
1756
01:21:52,166 --> 01:21:53,958
[all] Shabbat shalom.
1757
01:21:54,041 --> 01:21:57,083
Today is a very special day.
1758
01:21:57,583 --> 01:22:00,250
Our brilliant, young Stacy Friedman
1759
01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:03,833
is called to the bimah
for her Bat Mitzvah.
1760
01:22:03,916 --> 01:22:05,166
[Stacy, narrating] Oh, God.
1761
01:22:05,250 --> 01:22:08,833
Do you hear her calling me up
to receive an honor I do not deserve?
1762
01:22:09,541 --> 01:22:13,458
I've been dreaming about this day
my whole life, and now it's here.
1763
01:22:13,541 --> 01:22:17,666
And I wish I could go back in bed,
or under my bed, or literally anywhere...
1764
01:22:17,750 --> 01:22:18,750
[Rebecca] Seema?
1765
01:22:18,833 --> 01:22:20,833
[contemplative music playing]
1766
01:22:30,541 --> 01:22:32,000
[Stacy clearing throat]
1767
01:22:43,666 --> 01:22:46,625
[in Hebrew] Barechu et Adonai hamevorach.
1768
01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:51,291
[crowd in unison] Baruch Adonai
hamevorach leolam vaed.
1769
01:22:51,375 --> 01:22:54,291
Baruch Adonai hamevorach leolam vaed.
1770
01:22:54,375 --> 01:22:58,833
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu
melech haolam,
1771
01:22:58,916 --> 01:23:01,958
asher bachar banu mikol...
1772
01:23:02,041 --> 01:23:03,500
[Stacy slowing] ha-amim...
1773
01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:05,791
[Stacy sniffling]
1774
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:14,625
I made a huge mistake. [sniffling]
1775
01:23:15,833 --> 01:23:18,458
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what I'm doing up here.
1776
01:23:21,541 --> 01:23:22,541
[guitar ending abruptly]
1777
01:23:23,666 --> 01:23:24,666
[Stacy sniffling]
1778
01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:26,750
[exhaling]
1779
01:23:27,291 --> 01:23:28,125
Uh...
1780
01:23:28,208 --> 01:23:29,750
[emotional music playing]
1781
01:23:29,833 --> 01:23:33,791
In the Jewish religion,
I am supposed to be a grown-up today.
1782
01:23:35,083 --> 01:23:41,208
But I have been so selfish and bratty
and annoying to my parents who just want...
1783
01:23:41,291 --> 01:23:43,250
[Stacy, narrating] And then, it happened.
1784
01:23:43,333 --> 01:23:45,958
The very day I was supposed
to become a woman
1785
01:23:46,041 --> 01:23:48,000
is the day that everything started
to make sense.
1786
01:23:48,083 --> 01:23:49,458
...Nikki, Tara...
1787
01:23:49,541 --> 01:23:52,708
When you're a kid, you think it's okay
to put yourself in front of your friends
1788
01:23:52,791 --> 01:23:54,583
in pursuit of something better.
1789
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:58,041
A woman knows there is nothing better
than your friends.
1790
01:23:59,541 --> 01:24:00,833
...Kym, Megan, Anya...
1791
01:24:00,916 --> 01:24:02,059
[Stacy, narrating] When you're a kid,
1792
01:24:02,083 --> 01:24:05,458
sometimes you think you have to be
someone you're not in order to fit in.
1793
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:09,083
...if I'm being honest, it's probably 'cause
we were, like, jealous or something...
1794
01:24:09,166 --> 01:24:11,666
But a woman knows
it's not about hiding who you are.
1795
01:24:11,750 --> 01:24:13,710
It's about being yourself
and speaking your truth.
1796
01:24:13,750 --> 01:24:17,041
...but also, you guys can be,
like, such a-holes sometimes.
1797
01:24:17,125 --> 01:24:18,333
[crowd gasping]
1798
01:24:18,416 --> 01:24:19,916
Keep it PG in the temple.
1799
01:24:20,000 --> 01:24:21,041
Sorry.
1800
01:24:21,125 --> 01:24:23,458
Where'd she learn to curse like that?
1801
01:24:23,541 --> 01:24:24,583
No idea.
1802
01:24:24,666 --> 01:24:27,791
[Stacy] And the biggest difference
between being a kid and an adult...
1803
01:24:27,875 --> 01:24:28,916
Andy...
1804
01:24:29,750 --> 01:24:31,708
...is knowing what really matters.
1805
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:35,625
I'm gonna keep it brief 'cause I know you
can't focus on one thing for that long,
1806
01:24:35,708 --> 01:24:38,791
but you're basic and not nice to people,
1807
01:24:38,875 --> 01:24:41,375
and if I'm being honest,
not that good at soccer.
1808
01:24:41,458 --> 01:24:42,750
[kids laughing]
1809
01:24:42,833 --> 01:24:43,833
[Aaron] You suck!
1810
01:24:44,791 --> 01:24:46,833
And worst of all, because of you,
1811
01:24:47,541 --> 01:24:51,000
I ruined my friendship
with the one person that matters the most.
1812
01:24:51,916 --> 01:24:53,666
I need to tell her how bad I messed up.
1813
01:24:54,875 --> 01:24:55,916
Hey, hey, hey...
1814
01:24:56,000 --> 01:24:58,476
You gotta go up there and finish
your Torah portion before you go.
1815
01:24:58,500 --> 01:25:02,291
Come here. Give it your best shot,
and then we'll all fix this together.
1816
01:25:02,375 --> 01:25:04,500
Hopefully, after I take off
this itchy suit.
1817
01:25:05,166 --> 01:25:06,041
[Stacy chuckling]
1818
01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:07,291
You have coffee breath.
1819
01:25:07,375 --> 01:25:10,291
Okay. All right. Use that up there. Go.
1820
01:25:10,375 --> 01:25:14,875
Quickly, so quickly, so quickly.
1821
01:25:14,958 --> 01:25:16,583
So quickly.
1822
01:25:17,333 --> 01:25:19,041
[uplifting music playing]
1823
01:25:19,125 --> 01:25:21,041
[Stacy breathing shakily]
1824
01:25:22,958 --> 01:25:27,000
[in Hebrew] Va-y'chal Moshe mi-dabeyr itam
1825
01:25:27,083 --> 01:25:29,083
Va-yiteyn al panav masveh.
1826
01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:34,833
Uv'vo Moshe lifney Adonai l'dabeyr ito
1827
01:25:34,916 --> 01:25:37,291
Ya-sir et ha-masveh ad tzeyto
1828
01:25:37,375 --> 01:25:44,000
V'yatza v'di-ber el b'ney Yisrael
et asher y'tzuveh.
1829
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:48,375
V'ra-u v'ney Yisrael et p'ney Moshe
1830
01:25:48,458 --> 01:25:54,750
Ki karan or p'ney Moshe v'heysheev Moshe
1831
01:25:54,833 --> 01:25:57,583
Et ha-masveh al panav
1832
01:25:57,666 --> 01:26:02,791
ad bo-oh l'dabeyr ito.
1833
01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:05,250
I did it.
1834
01:26:05,750 --> 01:26:07,833
[all cheering]
1835
01:26:07,916 --> 01:26:09,791
Ya'sher koach! Now go!
1836
01:26:09,875 --> 01:26:12,416
["Reputation" by Radiant Baby playing]
1837
01:26:58,250 --> 01:26:59,333
[Stacy] Lydia!
1838
01:26:59,416 --> 01:27:00,625
[doorbell ringing]
1839
01:27:01,416 --> 01:27:03,250
[panting] Lydia.
1840
01:27:05,250 --> 01:27:06,250
Lydia.
1841
01:27:06,916 --> 01:27:08,291
Lydia, please open...
1842
01:27:10,041 --> 01:27:11,083
The Andy stuff.
1843
01:27:11,583 --> 01:27:13,708
I know you never hurt me on purpose.
1844
01:27:13,791 --> 01:27:15,833
I should have let you apologize.
1845
01:27:16,541 --> 01:27:19,833
I miss you, and I love you, and I'm sorry.
1846
01:27:19,916 --> 01:27:21,791
I've been a horrible, selfish friend.
1847
01:27:21,875 --> 01:27:23,666
Please, please forgive me.
1848
01:27:26,666 --> 01:27:29,541
Stacy, you ruined my Bat Mitzvah.
1849
01:27:29,625 --> 01:27:32,185
What part of that do you not understand?
I don't under... Like...
1850
01:27:32,250 --> 01:27:34,291
- I know.
- Let me finish.
1851
01:27:34,875 --> 01:27:37,166
That day at the ledge,
I told you not to go.
1852
01:27:37,250 --> 01:27:39,250
I told you don't jump. You jumped.
1853
01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:41,093
Then the whole thing
ended up being my fault.
1854
01:27:41,125 --> 01:27:43,166
- Then I was the shitty friend?
- I'm sorry.
1855
01:27:43,250 --> 01:27:46,875
And I've known you liked Andy for, like,
a million years, but guess what, Stacy?
1856
01:27:46,958 --> 01:27:49,625
So has every other girl at our school,
including me,
1857
01:27:49,708 --> 01:27:52,750
but I never told you anything
because I knew it'd just make you upset.
1858
01:27:52,833 --> 01:27:57,541
And then, when you uninvited me to the day
I've been helping you plan forever,
1859
01:27:58,791 --> 01:28:00,500
I dated him to make you mad.
1860
01:28:01,208 --> 01:28:02,416
Until you ruined it.
1861
01:28:03,208 --> 01:28:05,517
Then you ruined your best friend's
most important day of her life.
1862
01:28:05,541 --> 01:28:07,250
So, yeah, I'm... I'm done here, Stacy.
1863
01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:09,000
Wait, you're right.
1864
01:28:09,750 --> 01:28:11,291
Yeah, I know.
1865
01:28:11,375 --> 01:28:15,791
Just come to my Bat Mitzvah party tonight.
I promise it'll be worth it. Please.
1866
01:28:18,541 --> 01:28:20,208
[dramatic music playing]
1867
01:28:21,166 --> 01:28:22,833
I'm gonna take that as a maybe.
1868
01:28:27,708 --> 01:28:28,708
Hello, again.
1869
01:28:31,791 --> 01:28:34,791
["Post Humorous" by Gus Dapperton playing]
1870
01:28:34,875 --> 01:28:35,875
Honey?
1871
01:28:36,791 --> 01:28:37,708
Hi, Mom.
1872
01:28:37,791 --> 01:28:39,625
[Bree] Your father called in
a lot of favors.
1873
01:28:39,708 --> 01:28:42,375
I think it's gonna work out
if she shows up.
1874
01:28:44,583 --> 01:28:45,750
Come on. Let me do it.
1875
01:28:50,541 --> 01:28:53,916
I know tonight's not exactly
what you dreamed it would be,
1876
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:55,458
but I'm really proud of you.
1877
01:28:56,333 --> 01:28:57,166
Okay, go.
1878
01:28:57,250 --> 01:28:58,500
[both smacking lips]
1879
01:29:00,041 --> 01:29:01,041
[Bree] There.
1880
01:29:01,416 --> 01:29:02,416
[objects clattering]
1881
01:29:02,500 --> 01:29:04,125
- [Stacy] Hmm.
- Gorgeous.
1882
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:05,208
[in accent] Thanks, doll.
1883
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:07,333
[Stacy chuckling]
1884
01:29:08,041 --> 01:29:09,958
- I have something for you.
- Okay.
1885
01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:15,583
[Bree] Okay, now,
I know you may not like this, but...
1886
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:19,166
[gasping] Really?
1887
01:29:19,750 --> 01:29:20,750
Thank you!
1888
01:29:21,250 --> 01:29:23,333
[Stacy groaning]
1889
01:29:23,416 --> 01:29:25,291
I think I'm gonna wear sneakers.
1890
01:29:25,375 --> 01:29:27,833
Oh my God, you're a woman.
You're a smart woman
1891
01:29:28,458 --> 01:29:29,666
Let's party!
1892
01:29:34,333 --> 01:29:36,333
[crowd cheering]
1893
01:29:36,416 --> 01:29:38,625
[dance music playing]
1894
01:29:38,708 --> 01:29:39,708
[door opening]
1895
01:29:40,041 --> 01:29:41,041
[Bree] Is she here?
1896
01:29:41,916 --> 01:29:43,916
[exhaling] I don't think she's coming.
1897
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:45,083
Honey, she's gonna come.
1898
01:29:45,166 --> 01:29:47,041
[Schmuley] May I have your attention?
1899
01:29:47,125 --> 01:29:49,845
It's starting. What if she doesn't come?
Then everything's pointless.
1900
01:29:49,875 --> 01:29:50,958
[door opening]
1901
01:29:51,791 --> 01:29:53,041
[Danny] It's not pointless.
1902
01:29:53,125 --> 01:29:56,208
- I could've been working on my golf game!
- Oh, you're fine.
1903
01:29:56,291 --> 01:29:57,291
You made it.
1904
01:29:58,625 --> 01:29:59,625
I made it.
1905
01:30:00,208 --> 01:30:01,375
Perfect timing.
1906
01:30:01,458 --> 01:30:03,541
Just in time for your grand entrance.
1907
01:30:03,625 --> 01:30:06,291
[Schmuley] Listen guys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen...
1908
01:30:06,375 --> 01:30:07,583
No, Lydia...
1909
01:30:07,666 --> 01:30:12,125
Please give a very sweet welcome
to your Bat Mitzvah
1910
01:30:13,541 --> 01:30:16,666
Lydia Rodriguez Katz!
1911
01:30:16,750 --> 01:30:18,166
[Stacy] It's time for yours.
1912
01:30:19,125 --> 01:30:20,875
Stacy, what is this?
1913
01:30:21,375 --> 01:30:24,500
You deserve a perfect Bat Mitzvah.
One that no one ruins.
1914
01:30:25,250 --> 01:30:27,416
So you gave up your Bat Mitzvah for me?
1915
01:30:29,666 --> 01:30:31,208
Stacy, this was your dream.
1916
01:30:31,291 --> 01:30:32,583
It's our dream.
1917
01:30:32,666 --> 01:30:33,666
Stacy!
1918
01:30:34,875 --> 01:30:37,791
Yeah, Lydia! We love you!
1919
01:30:37,875 --> 01:30:39,208
We love you!
1920
01:30:41,666 --> 01:30:42,750
Go!
1921
01:30:42,833 --> 01:30:44,208
Okay.
1922
01:30:44,291 --> 01:30:45,958
[Stacy] Entrance. Beautiful.
1923
01:30:48,208 --> 01:30:50,583
[Schmuley] Lydia! Lydia! Lydia!
1924
01:30:50,666 --> 01:30:52,250
[crowd] Lydia!
1925
01:30:52,333 --> 01:30:54,375
[Schmuley] Come on, Lydia!
1926
01:30:56,708 --> 01:30:57,875
Go, Lydia!
1927
01:30:59,958 --> 01:31:02,166
[dramatic, uplifting music playing]
1928
01:31:14,666 --> 01:31:19,250
[Schmuley] All right! Make some noise
for Lydia and Stacy!
1929
01:31:19,333 --> 01:31:21,250
[crowd cheering]
1930
01:31:21,333 --> 01:31:24,333
- I'm not paying for this, right?
- Yeah. You are.
1931
01:31:24,416 --> 01:31:26,916
I'm kidding you. You're good. We got this.
1932
01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:31,833
- [Schmuley] Let's get this party started!
- Oh man.
1933
01:31:31,916 --> 01:31:34,375
["Party of a Lifetime" by Pitbull playing]
1934
01:31:35,708 --> 01:31:37,416
♪ It's your birthday every day ♪
1935
01:31:39,541 --> 01:31:40,916
♪ Every day your birthday ♪
1936
01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:43,708
♪ We gon' have a good time, all right ♪
1937
01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:46,458
[indistinct chatter on phone]
1938
01:31:49,458 --> 01:31:52,708
Guys, you're watching
Shawshank Redemp! [chuckling]
1939
01:31:52,791 --> 01:31:55,583
- I love that movie. Have you seen...
- [both] Yeah, we've seen it.
1940
01:31:55,666 --> 01:31:58,541
- Yeah, can you leave us alone?
- [both] Bye!
1941
01:32:00,500 --> 01:32:02,500
[dialogue from film playing]
1942
01:32:05,000 --> 01:32:06,684
You're the guy
from the movie theater, right?
1943
01:32:06,708 --> 01:32:07,708
I am.
1944
01:32:07,791 --> 01:32:09,333
Let me get some Twizzlers.
1945
01:32:09,833 --> 01:32:11,500
- Yeah, give me a lot.
- [man] On it.
1946
01:32:16,166 --> 01:32:18,041
- I just want one.
- Okay, my bad.
1947
01:32:18,125 --> 01:32:19,375
Hell's wrong with you?
1948
01:32:21,958 --> 01:32:24,708
All right, mishpachalah!
1949
01:32:24,791 --> 01:32:28,083
Who's ready
for some "Don't Stop Believing!"?
1950
01:32:28,166 --> 01:32:29,958
Yeah, let's go!
1951
01:32:31,666 --> 01:32:34,958
Of course you are, nerd,
and that's why I'm not going to play it.
1952
01:32:35,541 --> 01:32:38,833
I think it's time to slow things down
1953
01:32:38,916 --> 01:32:43,083
for a little love jam.
1954
01:32:43,166 --> 01:32:45,458
["Easy" by The Commodores playing]
1955
01:32:45,541 --> 01:32:49,583
♪ Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain ♪
1956
01:32:53,208 --> 01:32:57,541
♪ Girl, I'm leaving you tomorrow ♪
1957
01:32:59,916 --> 01:33:04,166
♪ Seems to me, girl
You know I've done all I can ♪
1958
01:33:07,500 --> 01:33:11,708
♪ You see, I begged, stole
And I borrowed ♪
1959
01:33:12,541 --> 01:33:15,000
♪ That's why I'm easy ♪
1960
01:33:18,875 --> 01:33:21,541
♪ I'm easy like Sunday morning ♪
1961
01:33:21,625 --> 01:33:22,625
[Mateo] Hey.
1962
01:33:23,125 --> 01:33:24,541
Do you want to dance?
1963
01:33:25,458 --> 01:33:27,166
Well, what about Isabella?
1964
01:33:28,166 --> 01:33:29,166
Who?
1965
01:33:29,750 --> 01:33:31,791
Your 25-year-old girlfriend back
in Ecuador?
1966
01:33:31,875 --> 01:33:35,208
I just assumed her name
was something glamorous like Isabella.
1967
01:33:35,291 --> 01:33:36,916
I don't have a girlfriend.
1968
01:33:37,000 --> 01:33:39,666
You know, it's a weird rumor
I don't understand.
1969
01:33:41,083 --> 01:33:42,083
Oh.
1970
01:33:45,333 --> 01:33:47,541
[gasping] Ooh, how do you feel about that?
1971
01:33:47,625 --> 01:33:50,083
Your daughter's dancing
with a handsome young gentleman?
1972
01:33:50,166 --> 01:33:53,000
Um, surprisingly, I feel okay with it.
1973
01:33:53,083 --> 01:33:53,958
Really?
1974
01:33:54,041 --> 01:33:56,625
- You know what I don't feel good with?
- What?
1975
01:33:57,208 --> 01:33:59,500
- Rabbi Rebecca and Cantor Jerry.
- [Bree gasping]
1976
01:33:59,583 --> 01:34:00,416
[Danny] What is that?
1977
01:34:00,500 --> 01:34:02,333
[Bree] Ooh, work it, Rabbi.
1978
01:34:02,416 --> 01:34:05,500
Yeah. That should be against
every religion right there.
1979
01:34:05,583 --> 01:34:07,500
- Yeah. [laughing]
- What are they doing?
1980
01:34:10,791 --> 01:34:13,125
{\an8}Okay, that's enough of the slow stuff.
1981
01:34:13,208 --> 01:34:16,500
- Let's make some noise everybody!
- [crowd cheering]
1982
01:34:16,583 --> 01:34:17,833
Are you ready?
1983
01:34:17,916 --> 01:34:19,916
["Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper playing]
1984
01:34:21,000 --> 01:34:23,083
[all clapping rhythmically]
1985
01:34:23,166 --> 01:34:24,291
♪ Funky ♪
1986
01:34:25,583 --> 01:34:27,208
♪ Everybody clap your hands ♪
1987
01:34:27,291 --> 01:34:29,208
♪ Everybody clap your hands ♪
1988
01:34:31,458 --> 01:34:34,458
[Stacy, narrating]
Dear God, Stacy Friedman here.
1989
01:34:35,166 --> 01:34:36,833
So today, I'm an adult,
1990
01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:39,416
and honestly, it's wonderful.
1991
01:34:40,708 --> 01:34:43,458
I know this is just the first chapter
of my grown-up life,
1992
01:34:43,541 --> 01:34:45,875
and it might not always be this great,
1993
01:34:45,958 --> 01:34:48,291
but if it was, that would also be great.
1994
01:34:48,791 --> 01:34:50,291
I mean, no pressure.
1995
01:34:50,375 --> 01:34:52,166
Not like I could pressure you.
1996
01:34:53,000 --> 01:34:54,000
Just saying.
1997
01:34:54,041 --> 01:34:55,791
[uplifting music playing]
1998
01:34:55,875 --> 01:34:57,750
And I know what you're thinking,
1999
01:34:57,833 --> 01:35:00,875
that giving up my party
for Lydia was my mitzvah project.
2000
01:35:03,166 --> 01:35:04,583
But that's not a mitzvah.
2001
01:35:06,375 --> 01:35:08,000
That's just being a best friend.
2002
01:35:08,833 --> 01:35:09,875
[music fades]
2003
01:35:09,958 --> 01:35:11,166
♪ Yeah, turn it up ♪
2004
01:35:11,250 --> 01:35:13,250
["Over You" by HOLYCHILD playing]
2005
01:35:14,666 --> 01:35:17,291
Welcome to Mitzvah Bakery.
All proceeds go to charity.
2006
01:35:17,375 --> 01:35:21,375
[Stacy] Helping others, being selfless,
taking the bad and making it good...
2007
01:35:21,458 --> 01:35:23,226
- Breadsticks for four dollars.
- Four dollars.
2008
01:35:23,250 --> 01:35:24,416
[Stacy] That's a mitzvah.
2009
01:35:25,250 --> 01:35:26,458
[girl] Stacy, you did this?
2010
01:35:26,541 --> 01:35:28,708
- This is so dope.
- What are you gonna get?
2011
01:35:28,791 --> 01:35:32,875
[Stacy] Okay, obviously you know that.
You're God, which you also know.
2012
01:35:34,291 --> 01:35:35,833
Make sure you say Hamotzi.
2013
01:35:35,916 --> 01:35:38,291
And for one piece, 24 dollars.
2014
01:35:38,375 --> 01:35:39,208
[girl chuckling]
2015
01:35:39,291 --> 01:35:41,333
[Stacy] Anyway,
thanks for being patient with me.
2016
01:35:41,416 --> 01:35:43,166
I'm really glad I'm a part of this.
2017
01:35:43,250 --> 01:35:44,916
- Ooh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
2018
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:46,208
You're very, very welcome!
2019
01:35:46,291 --> 01:35:48,625
[Stacy] Okay, I'll get back to you.
Selling bread.
2020
01:35:48,708 --> 01:35:50,875
Now we're talking mitzvah!
2021
01:35:50,958 --> 01:35:54,541
♪ I'm so hopeless and over you ♪
2022
01:35:54,625 --> 01:35:58,333
♪ Think that you know it too ♪
2023
01:36:03,083 --> 01:36:07,916
♪ I say that it's over ♪
2024
01:36:08,500 --> 01:36:13,291
♪ But here I'm still singing ♪
2025
01:36:13,375 --> 01:36:15,125
♪ Play me something juicy ♪
2026
01:36:15,208 --> 01:36:18,250
["Breakfast for Dinner"
by Winnetka Bowling League playing]
2027
01:39:02,916 --> 01:39:03,791
[song fades]
2028
01:39:03,875 --> 01:39:05,875
[upbeat, contemplative music playing]
2029
01:41:18,208 --> 01:41:19,791
[music fades]