1 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,760 ♪ I'm a bad bitch every day of the week ♪ 2 00:00:36,933 --> 00:00:40,419 ♪ If I hop up on the mike, they gonna play it on repeat ♪ 3 00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:42,180 I am sorry, sweetie. 4 00:00:42,318 --> 00:00:43,743 Sorry, sweetie. You are way too drunk. 5 00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,424 But I don't want to go home! 6 00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:47,057 I know you don't want to go home, but it's time to go. 7 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,721 - I was having a great time! - Good night! 8 00:00:48,772 --> 00:00:50,878 Was having a good time! Aah! 9 00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:52,776 - Come on. Let's go. - Come on?! Come on?! 10 00:00:52,914 --> 00:00:54,778 - Thank you. - Are you just hitting on me? 11 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,396 How you doing, folks? Good to see you. 12 00:00:56,435 --> 00:00:57,481 My God. Did you guys see that? 13 00:00:57,505 --> 00:00:58,713 He was hitting on me. 14 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,095 They don't even let you smoke in there! 15 00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:02,855 What the hell's that about?! 16 00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:04,754 I'm on camera?! 17 00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:17,801 Cat Sajak! 18 00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:20,942 Did you just buy yourself a bowel movement? 19 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,773 Ooh, that is fresh! 20 00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:27,604 My gosh. How much did you eat?! 21 00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:30,745 Do not remember feeding you that much. 22 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:36,061 Hey. 23 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,305 Hey, Piper. 24 00:01:38,477 --> 00:01:40,962 - Hey. - What's going on? 25 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:44,794 Good. How are you? How was your night? 26 00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:47,383 Well, I mean, my band played tonight. 27 00:01:47,486 --> 00:01:49,799 - I invited you, too, but... - Yeah. 28 00:01:49,937 --> 00:01:52,595 Yeah. It was... It was great. It was great. 29 00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:55,080 We had, like, a cheese plate in the green room. 30 00:01:55,218 --> 00:01:57,807 Ooh, I love cheese. That sounds so good right now. 31 00:01:57,945 --> 00:01:59,809 - This is so good. - Yeah. And... 32 00:01:59,947 --> 00:02:02,846 - Yeah. Delish. Are you kidding? - We had lots of people. 33 00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:05,677 We had, like, probably 15-plus. Something like that. 34 00:02:05,849 --> 00:02:07,230 - My God. That's so cool. - Yeah. 35 00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,681 That's sick. I love cheese. 36 00:02:09,819 --> 00:02:13,098 - Yeah. - So, so... You... 37 00:02:13,236 --> 00:02:16,412 Yeah. You look amazing tonight, by the way. 38 00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,448 You always look amazing. 39 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:21,002 Thank you. 40 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,176 My pleasure. 41 00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:28,078 Okay. I'm about to get real. 42 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,805 Do you want to come over? 43 00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:33,670 - Sh... - Yeah. 44 00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:35,776 Yeah. To... To your place? 45 00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:37,364 I can't believe I just asked you that! 46 00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:39,814 You're my neighbor! You're my neighbor! 47 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:43,093 But do you, though, want to come over? 48 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,854 Okay. Yeah. 49 00:02:45,026 --> 00:02:46,683 Okay. 50 00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:54,139 Wow! This is a great room! 51 00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:55,382 - Thank you. - It's nice. 52 00:02:55,554 --> 00:02:56,866 Shut the door. Shut the door! 53 00:02:57,004 --> 00:02:58,524 - Wait! I got it! - I think you got it. 54 00:02:58,626 --> 00:03:00,387 - Yeah. - Whoo! 55 00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:02,147 Yeah. 56 00:03:02,285 --> 00:03:03,805 No, no, no, no. The hook's in the back. 57 00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:05,747 The hook's in the back. The hook's in the back! 58 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,290 Whoo! 59 00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:09,948 Do you have a condom? 60 00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:13,020 Yes. Yes, I think so. I think so. 61 00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:15,402 - Great, great. - Got one. I mean... 62 00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:17,162 A-ha! Bingo! 63 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,233 I believe you. You don't have to show it. 64 00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:21,546 Aah! 65 00:03:21,684 --> 00:03:23,306 Are you good? Can we go? 66 00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:25,929 Just kind of... yeah. Just like... 67 00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,311 You might want to, like, get on top of me, yeah. 68 00:03:28,415 --> 00:03:32,212 Just, you know... Climb on me like a jungle gym. 69 00:03:35,698 --> 00:03:37,976 Can I touch your face? Is that okay? 70 00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:40,772 Yeah, that's... Wait. Hold... Okay. 71 00:03:40,944 --> 00:03:43,257 - Back of hand. - . You smell so good. 72 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:44,948 - What is that? - Just, um... 73 00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:47,744 - Is that jasmine? - Just my perfume. 74 00:03:47,882 --> 00:03:49,712 It's just a cocktail of flowers... 75 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:51,507 My mouth's here. 76 00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,406 My mouth's here. Just come back. 77 00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:57,064 Hold on. Let me just... 78 00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,859 Okay? Is that good? 79 00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:00,895 Okay. Would you please... 80 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,075 Whoa! 81 00:04:08,213 --> 00:04:11,009 Yeah. 82 00:04:11,112 --> 00:04:12,942 This feels so right. 83 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,271 Fuck. 84 00:04:45,492 --> 00:04:48,115 Hey... 85 00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:50,151 Peter. 86 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,153 Piper. 87 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,431 - Picked a... - Okay. 88 00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:55,467 Heh-heh. Sorry. 89 00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:57,331 I just... 90 00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:00,127 I have a really bad headache, so... 91 00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:01,508 Yeah. Yeah. 92 00:05:01,646 --> 00:05:04,821 Who's a grumpy morning person? You are. 93 00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:07,168 Boop. Ha ha ha... 94 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,998 Okay. Heh. 95 00:05:09,136 --> 00:05:12,208 I have to get ready for work, so... 96 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:16,937 Yeah. Need a ride? I'm a certified Uber driver. 97 00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:20,423 I know you don't have a car. 98 00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:24,703 My work is just a couple blocks from here, 99 00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:29,156 so I'm gonna stroll on over, but thank you. 100 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,192 How did you know I don't have a car? 101 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,987 Piper, we've lived 102 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:36,266 in the same apartment complex for over a year. 103 00:05:37,785 --> 00:05:39,822 This is the longest conversation we've ever had. 104 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,652 That's too bad because conversation is the area 105 00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:44,551 that I normally get the highest ratings on. 106 00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:46,035 On all my drives. 107 00:05:46,173 --> 00:05:48,106 Sorry. I just... I'm not trying to be "that guy," 108 00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:52,628 - but I do need you to... to go. - Yeah. 109 00:05:52,731 --> 00:05:54,319 Yeah, like, back to your place 'cause... 110 00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:57,322 Yeah. No prob. No worries. I gotta get going anyway. 111 00:05:57,460 --> 00:06:00,325 Wheel of Fortunereruns are on at 11. 112 00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:01,809 I don't want to miss that. 113 00:06:01,913 --> 00:06:04,536 Plus, my cat and I, we watch it together, 114 00:06:04,674 --> 00:06:06,366 and he gets bad-tempered for the day 115 00:06:06,504 --> 00:06:07,815 if he misses his Vanna. 116 00:06:07,919 --> 00:06:10,024 You gotta meet him sometime. 117 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,957 Would love that. 118 00:06:20,828 --> 00:06:24,522 Last night was really special. 119 00:06:27,214 --> 00:06:29,354 Wow. Just be... No, you're good. 120 00:06:29,492 --> 00:06:32,530 It's okay. That's a white pillow that you stepped on. 121 00:06:32,668 --> 00:06:34,635 - See ya, Piper. - Okay. Bye. 122 00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:39,571 Evan? What are you doing in my apartment? 123 00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:41,953 Hi, Maya. 124 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:45,094 Piper and I are... seeing each other. 125 00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:46,992 Yeah! 126 00:06:47,096 --> 00:06:48,546 Really?! 127 00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:49,961 Celebrate for me, alright? 128 00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:53,033 Will you? Come on! Let's dance! Yeah! Whoo! 129 00:06:58,521 --> 00:07:01,869 Evan Ebert! You are dating Evan Ebert?! 130 00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:05,459 Please do not throw the "D" word around. 131 00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,150 We are not dating. 132 00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,568 Your girl got a little boozy, a little frisky. 133 00:07:10,706 --> 00:07:12,397 Just please don't tell anyone. 134 00:07:12,535 --> 00:07:14,054 Why would I tell anyone? 135 00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:16,815 Babe, you're a little bit of a blabber mouth. 136 00:07:16,953 --> 00:07:18,921 - We know this. - Yeah, I do like a story. 137 00:07:19,059 --> 00:07:20,612 It was a one-time thing. 138 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:24,720 It is never, never happening again. 139 00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:27,067 That's not what he thinks. 140 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:29,449 Ooh... 141 00:07:29,587 --> 00:07:34,143 I told you she'd come around. She couldn't resist the Ev-man. 142 00:07:34,281 --> 00:07:35,938 Why would you go messing around with Evan? 143 00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:38,561 He's clearly always had a thing for you! 144 00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:40,149 I barely know the guy. 145 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,151 He's just some dude who lives in our building. 146 00:07:42,289 --> 00:07:44,049 I mean, I kind of thought his name was Adam 147 00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:45,810 until like 20 minutes ago. 148 00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:47,328 My God. Piper... 149 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,192 Babe, I'm so hungover, 150 00:07:49,365 --> 00:07:52,023 and you're really challenging me right now, and it's a lot. 151 00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:54,370 Why did you go out last night? Weren't you supposed to 152 00:07:54,543 --> 00:07:56,244 be preparing for your meeting with that publisher?! 153 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,374 What am I supposed to do to prepare? 154 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,939 I don't even know exactly what that woman wants to talk to me about. 155 00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:02,203 She's obviously a fan of yours. 156 00:08:02,309 --> 00:08:03,629 Every time I blink, your Instagram 157 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,381 has like a hundred more followers. 158 00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:08,522 Okay, again, I'm so hungover. You're coming at me very hot. 159 00:08:08,695 --> 00:08:10,110 And I do feel the love, but... 160 00:08:10,213 --> 00:08:12,215 I'm just worried about you, Piper. 161 00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:14,504 I love you so much, but there's nothing to worry about. 162 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:18,221 I'm fine. I mean, I feel like true trash right now, 163 00:08:18,394 --> 00:08:21,777 but otherwise I'm... I really think I'm thriving. 164 00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:26,057 Piper, I'm not paying you to look on your phone. 165 00:08:26,195 --> 00:08:29,578 Okay. I'm sorry. I just... I got an e-mail from that publisher. 166 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,990 She pushed back our meeting to, like, two weeks from now. 167 00:08:32,063 --> 00:08:33,685 That's too bad. 168 00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:37,137 Now why don't you help out the customer right in front of you? 169 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,036 Hey, that's okay, there, Raheem and Piper. 170 00:08:40,174 --> 00:08:41,555 But since you have your phone out, 171 00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:44,006 maybe you should just take my number, you know. 172 00:08:44,144 --> 00:08:47,803 Ha ha. Cameron? It's Cameron, right? 173 00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:49,149 - Yes. - Yeah. 174 00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:52,083 You're not exactly my type, so... 175 00:08:52,255 --> 00:08:53,912 Okay. A handsome, successful 176 00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:56,294 investment banker isn't your type? 177 00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:58,054 Can I just take your order, please? 178 00:08:58,192 --> 00:09:01,092 You know my order. You take it every day. 179 00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:03,128 Yeah, I take a lot of orders every day, 180 00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,890 so... just drawing a blank. 181 00:09:06,028 --> 00:09:08,755 Nonfat vanilla latte, one shot of espresso, 182 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:12,172 and exactly eight pumps of vanilla. 183 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:17,073 'Kay. That's a lot of pumps. That's a lotof pumps. 184 00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:19,110 She's a firecracker? 185 00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:20,767 How's that soccer league going, pal? 186 00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,527 We got a couple more games still left. 187 00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:24,545 Yeah, man. Let me know if you get to the finals. 188 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,773 I'll be there. Okay, man. 189 00:09:26,945 --> 00:09:29,016 Here is your truly insane order. 190 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,949 Thank you very much. 191 00:09:31,122 --> 00:09:33,296 - Extra tip. - . Thanks. 192 00:09:33,469 --> 00:09:35,920 Hey, and good luck in that publisher meeting, you know? 193 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:38,267 Two weeks comes around fast. 194 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,270 Thank you. 195 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:44,963 - Piper Brennan? - Yeah. 196 00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:46,736 Come with me. My office is down the hall. 197 00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,484 Cool, cool. Oops. 198 00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:50,566 - Thanks for coming out. - Okay. We're good. We're good. 199 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,972 Now, this is where the magic happens. 200 00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:56,872 This is a cool office. So bespoke. 201 00:09:56,975 --> 00:09:59,322 Finally. A face to the name. 202 00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:02,084 Thank you. I feel the same way. This is very cool. 203 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,051 Well, I'm just gonna jump right in there. 204 00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:06,467 - Yeah! Of course. - You know, I saw your Instagram 205 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,722 because it was pointed out to me by an ex-boyfriend of mine. 206 00:10:08,746 --> 00:10:10,620 He actually thought that you had taken a picture of him 207 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,244 with someone he shouldn't have been with. 208 00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:13,992 This was long before... I mean, I... 209 00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:15,452 Anyway, we're friends now. It's fine. 210 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:16,892 Your ex-boyfriend follows me. 211 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:19,722 Wow. That's... I was just, excited 212 00:10:19,826 --> 00:10:23,312 and a little annoyed by it initially, but I got on board. 213 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,330 I didn't expect to get on board, and you got me. 214 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,247 - You got me. - Thank you. 215 00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,974 Tell me a little bit about your inspiration for your Instagram. 216 00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,492 "I Spy Love." 217 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:35,842 Yeah, um, kind of just started on a whim. 218 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:38,430 I... you know, lady to lady... 219 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:42,296 never been great at relationships and dating. 220 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,367 And so whenever I'm, like, out at, like, 221 00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:46,345 a restaurant or a club, there are these couples 222 00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:48,682 who look, like, so locked in 223 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,719 and I'm like, "my God. What must that be like?" 224 00:10:50,857 --> 00:10:54,861 And so I kind of just started taking pictures of people... 225 00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:56,379 you know, with their permish... 226 00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:59,210 and, captioning it just kind of, like, 227 00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:02,869 what I think their conversation is like and what... 228 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:04,871 - Yeah. - Backstory is and... 229 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,527 - Yes. - I start to sort of fantasize, 230 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,346 like "wow. What's... What's going on here?" 231 00:11:08,391 --> 00:11:10,152 Yes! I just love kind of, like... 232 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,532 - Yes. - Making up a story of 233 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,984 what love could be like, maybe. 234 00:11:15,122 --> 00:11:16,606 - Yeah. So... - I love it. 235 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,470 - Thanks. - Yes. 236 00:11:18,608 --> 00:11:19,782 I spy a book. 237 00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:21,715 I spy a huge compliment. 238 00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:26,064 - That's, - Wow. - I spy a series of books. 239 00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:29,171 I spy a reality show. I spy a tour. 240 00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:32,174 I spy... PBS giveaways. 241 00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:34,314 PBS giveaways? Wow. Um... 242 00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:36,661 I spy "Judge Piper." I... I don't know. 243 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,950 I mean, I just sort of see... Maybe it's not a courtroom. 244 00:11:38,974 --> 00:11:41,045 That is, - Wow. 245 00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:42,909 Relationship advice. Love advice. 246 00:11:43,081 --> 00:11:46,671 So you think that it would be, like, me... 247 00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:48,915 - Yeah. - Giving advice... 248 00:11:49,053 --> 00:11:51,814 - Advice. - On relationships. 249 00:11:51,918 --> 00:11:54,161 Yes. You have a gift. 250 00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:57,164 - Yeah. - Tell us what to do, Piper! 251 00:11:57,268 --> 00:11:59,063 Tell us. You're the Pied Piper! 252 00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:02,514 I'll follow you anywhere. 253 00:12:02,618 --> 00:12:04,665 Or, you know, yeah, I mean if you could get me a date. 254 00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:06,208 - Wow. - Sure. Yeah. 255 00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:07,588 - And you're also... - I mean, 256 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,452 I have been almost married three times. 257 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:12,490 But the good news is, I would be divorced three times, 258 00:12:12,593 --> 00:12:14,250 so I am not divorced. 259 00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:16,114 Um... 260 00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:19,014 But the world needs you. We need you. 261 00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:22,949 It's cool to have someone believe in you. 262 00:12:23,121 --> 00:12:25,952 You will appeal to so many young readers 263 00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:27,919 and not-so-young readers. Heh! 264 00:12:28,057 --> 00:12:29,610 Yeah, you're a bright, 265 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,407 very smart, very charming young woman. 266 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,271 Yeah, you got it all. 267 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:36,689 - Thank you. - You've got it all. 268 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,793 Yeah. You really... 269 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:41,450 I'm so sorry. 270 00:12:41,622 --> 00:12:43,797 Yeah, it's emotional, right? Yeah. 271 00:12:43,935 --> 00:12:46,558 No, I... Yes, I am taking in what you're saying. 272 00:12:46,696 --> 00:12:50,286 I just also... 273 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:53,945 - No. - God. 274 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,055 - Are you okay? - No. 275 00:13:00,158 --> 00:13:04,438 God. Okay. I'll clean it up. 276 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,992 - No, no, no, no, no. - Yes. 277 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,279 No, that's why I have an assistant. 278 00:13:07,303 --> 00:13:08,649 - It's fine. - Okay. Good. 279 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,031 'Cause I gotta go. I gotta go. I have to... 280 00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:12,619 Jacob! 281 00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:17,624 Hey! How'd the meeting go? 282 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:21,801 Um... I don't really want to talk about it. 283 00:13:21,939 --> 00:13:23,768 No. It was that bad? 284 00:13:23,906 --> 00:13:28,152 I threw up, like, all over Jane Brantley's desk. 285 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,188 - Are you sick? - I feel fine now. 286 00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:32,018 I'm, like, a little fatigued, I guess, 287 00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:35,262 but this morning, I was barf city. 288 00:13:35,366 --> 00:13:37,817 I think it's just, like, something I ate. 289 00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:41,510 Yeah, I mean, it's either that or you're pregnant. 290 00:13:45,376 --> 00:13:47,550 If one were to be pregnant, like, 291 00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:50,519 how soon would they start showing symptoms? 292 00:13:50,657 --> 00:13:53,660 I don't know. Like, um, two weeks. 293 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,698 Are you pregnant?! 294 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,046 No. Come on. 295 00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:01,530 No. 296 00:14:03,566 --> 00:14:07,053 - They're both positive. - God! 297 00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:08,986 How did this happen? Aren't you on the pill? 298 00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:12,541 I was! But I stopped taking it 'cause it made me feel bloated. 299 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,337 If you had unprotected sex, why didn't you take Plan B? 300 00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,787 No, I... I didn't have... 301 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,720 I... I used a... 302 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,136 Ew! What are you doing?! 303 00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:22,723 I have to look! I have to look! 304 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,794 When was the last time you took out your trash?! 305 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:29,523 Ew! Wh... W-What? What? 306 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,731 It's expired! 307 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,251 Um... No, it's gonna be okay. Hey. Hey. 308 00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:35,253 Having a child can be a beautiful thing. 309 00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:38,705 It's not beautiful! I know who the father is! 310 00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:40,362 No! 311 00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:50,717 Would ya look at that, Cat Sajak? 312 00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:54,341 Piper wants some more lovin' from the Ev-man. 313 00:14:56,826 --> 00:14:58,518 What should I wear? 314 00:15:01,348 --> 00:15:03,247 Hey. 315 00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:06,767 Piper. Maya. 316 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,219 I thought it was just gonna be the two of us. 317 00:15:10,357 --> 00:15:12,670 You didn't tell him I was coming? 318 00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,016 You look nice. 319 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,776 - Thanks. - Cool tie. 320 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,709 Um, so... 321 00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:21,644 Evan, um, so you remember how... Ooh, what? 322 00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:25,545 Is it me or is that waitress over there staring at me? 323 00:15:25,648 --> 00:15:28,582 Um, I feel like that might just be you? 324 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,275 No, I think she actually is staring at him. 325 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:33,277 She's probably a fan of my band. 326 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:34,968 You're in a band? 327 00:15:35,106 --> 00:15:38,454 I've invited you to, like, three of my shows, you weirdo. 328 00:15:38,592 --> 00:15:40,905 I kinda remember that. 329 00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:42,251 Yeah? 330 00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,529 Deer in Headlights. 331 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:45,979 Is that a drink? 332 00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:49,155 No. That's my band. 333 00:15:49,327 --> 00:15:51,088 You're a fan, right? 334 00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:53,262 N-No. Why would I know your band? 335 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,954 You were staring at me over there. 336 00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,724 No. I was just staring at you 'cause you're dressed 337 00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,388 like an assistant principal in a dive bar. 338 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,684 And is that yarn hanging out of your big-boy bag? 339 00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:04,687 That's a leather satchel I bought at the Dallas airport. 340 00:16:04,825 --> 00:16:07,967 And, secondly, crocheting. Who doesn't love it? 341 00:16:08,105 --> 00:16:09,520 Can you get me a straw? 342 00:16:09,658 --> 00:16:11,832 - Yeah. Okay. Sure. - Thank you. 343 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:17,252 Okay, remember a few weeks ago there was that night 344 00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:19,979 where you came over to my apartment... 345 00:16:20,117 --> 00:16:23,327 Y-Yeah. How could I forget? 346 00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:28,159 Right. So, that night, um, the... 347 00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:31,473 Do... What are you doin'? 348 00:16:31,611 --> 00:16:35,028 I'm picking apart this meat before I eat it 349 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:37,720 'cause I always make sure it's fully cooked. 350 00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:42,449 Alright. Um, can you not do that right now? Sorry. 351 00:16:42,553 --> 00:16:44,279 I just wanted to, um... 352 00:16:44,382 --> 00:16:46,626 just real quick, talk to you 353 00:16:46,729 --> 00:16:49,318 about what happened that... You... 354 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,530 Sorry. Yeah. This is my mom. 355 00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:57,775 I-I'm gonna take this real fast, but... 356 00:16:57,878 --> 00:16:59,846 I'll be back. 357 00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:02,297 Mom! Hey! 358 00:17:04,471 --> 00:17:06,818 Told you Evan's not that bad. 359 00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:08,475 Are you fucking kidding me? 360 00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:10,132 Yeah, I'm trying to lighten the mood 361 00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:12,583 'cause you let Steve from "Blue's Clues" enter your body. 362 00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:14,723 God! It's so true. It's so true. 363 00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:16,587 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Piper. 364 00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:19,831 Yeah, yeah. It's input three, not input two, not... 365 00:17:19,969 --> 00:17:21,592 Hey, hey. Look, look, look, look. 366 00:17:21,764 --> 00:17:23,639 Positive side, you went through the foster-care system. 367 00:17:23,663 --> 00:17:25,423 You've always wanted to have a family. 368 00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,702 And now you're growing one inside of you. 369 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,258 I guess I am growing a little family in me. 370 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,536 It's kind of a sweet notion. 371 00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,514 And it... I mean, hey, if you feel like it's not right, 372 00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:37,884 you can always get an abortion. 373 00:17:38,022 --> 00:17:40,956 Yeah. I already had one of those. 374 00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:46,203 And this time, I don't know if it's 'cause I'm older or what, 375 00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:49,447 but I feel, like, kind of connected 376 00:17:49,585 --> 00:17:51,622 to the little nugget already. 377 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,727 Maybe, like, a little more ready for it? 378 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,695 I have no idea. 379 00:17:55,798 --> 00:18:00,009 If I have a baby, I will always have love in my life. 380 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:01,793 Why don't you just tell him you're pregnant 381 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,565 but you want to raise the baby on your own? 382 00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:05,118 I work in a coffee shop. 383 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:09,536 Like, your girl could use a two-income household. 384 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,506 Yeah, if only someone else had gotten you pregnant. 385 00:18:14,783 --> 00:18:16,888 - What? - You're gonna hate this. 386 00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:20,306 I know you are going to hate this, but hear me out. 387 00:18:20,444 --> 00:18:23,274 What if I went out 388 00:18:23,412 --> 00:18:26,553 and, like, met a fantastic guy? 389 00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:28,831 Checks all the boxes. Great dude. 390 00:18:29,004 --> 00:18:31,455 Could be a provider. All the things, right? 391 00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:34,147 And then we have sex... 392 00:18:34,285 --> 00:18:38,047 and then he thinks the baby is his. 393 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,601 - Piper. No. - Okay. 394 00:18:39,739 --> 00:18:42,604 I really want this baby to have a better childhood 395 00:18:42,742 --> 00:18:44,996 - and upbringing than I had. - You're just lying to yourself. 396 00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:47,340 You're being insane right now. Just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. 397 00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,645 You having a harsh reaction 398 00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:51,509 makes me think I'm onto something. 399 00:18:51,682 --> 00:18:53,442 No, you're not! No, you're not. No. Piper. 400 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,213 I feel it in my gut. It's not the baby kicking. 401 00:18:55,237 --> 00:18:57,277 - Pi... Piper. My God. - It is my intuition kicking. 402 00:18:57,412 --> 00:18:58,837 - Piper, stop. No. No! - I have to go. 403 00:18:58,861 --> 00:19:00,391 - I have to think. - You need to tell him. 404 00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:01,864 No. Piper! 405 00:19:02,002 --> 00:19:05,661 Yeah, but it doesn't even say in the d... Piper? 406 00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:07,353 You can't just go out to a club 407 00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:10,010 and pick who you want to be the father of your unborn child! 408 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,600 But you saw what he was like! You saw it! 409 00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:18,295 He's, the definition of a man-child, okay? 410 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:22,885 And I would really love for my kid to have a father who's... 411 00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:26,993 who's, like, strong and secure, you know? 412 00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:33,102 And... that is what I am determined to find tonight. 413 00:19:40,662 --> 00:19:44,873 Okay! Let's find me a baby daddy. 414 00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:46,737 What about that guy over there?! 415 00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:49,188 Calvin Klein? Look at his ring finger. 416 00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:51,190 Honey, he's married. 417 00:19:51,328 --> 00:19:52,536 Shit. 418 00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:54,814 - What about him? - He's bald. 419 00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:56,574 Piper, you realize the baby won't actually 420 00:19:56,712 --> 00:19:57,989 have his genetics, right? 421 00:19:58,127 --> 00:20:00,647 No, I don't care about that. It's just... 422 00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:02,751 Well, what if he has a midlife crisis at some point 423 00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:04,513 and then he gets a tattoo on his head 424 00:20:04,651 --> 00:20:06,011 and then he'll look super Neo-Nazi? 425 00:20:06,135 --> 00:20:07,861 It's just not worth the risk, you know? 426 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:11,175 Yeah. No. Makes total sense. Happens constantly. 427 00:20:11,313 --> 00:20:14,592 Ooh! He is hot! 428 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,491 The waiter? I don't think he's gonna 429 00:20:16,594 --> 00:20:20,011 be able to support a family on $12 an hour. 430 00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:22,428 Plus tips! 431 00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:25,603 Okay. Let's keep looking! 432 00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,881 Come on! We're on a mission! Hi! 433 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:30,021 Hey, how you broads doin' tonight? 434 00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,334 I'm Luca. This is my brother Rocco. 435 00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:34,923 Hey. Pleased to meet ya. 436 00:20:35,061 --> 00:20:36,890 - I'm Piper. - Piper? 437 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,927 'Cause you could get the pipe, sweetheart. 438 00:20:39,065 --> 00:20:43,621 I see what you did there! The... 439 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,427 That's funny how you did that with my name. 440 00:20:45,451 --> 00:20:49,040 Is your name Cecilia? 'Cause, girl, I wanna feel ya! 441 00:20:49,144 --> 00:20:52,561 What?! Rocco! Who taught you that one? 442 00:20:52,699 --> 00:20:54,263 This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought! 443 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,531 Hey, I'ma lot harder than you thought! 444 00:20:56,634 --> 00:20:58,809 Okay. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. 445 00:20:58,981 --> 00:21:01,190 - Piper, where you goin'? - Come on. 446 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:03,262 So, what do you do for work? 447 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,919 I'm a entrepreneur. 448 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,543 Okay. What does that mean? 449 00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:11,270 Whatever you want it to mean. 450 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,998 You got really sexy legs. 451 00:21:16,171 --> 00:21:19,830 But do you think I need, like, Botox or something? 452 00:21:19,968 --> 00:21:22,177 We don't get that. We don't get that. 453 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:25,767 Yes. So there's this thing called Babytox now. It's... 454 00:21:25,905 --> 00:21:27,216 Do you mind if I sit here? 455 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,046 Sorry. My feet hurt. I just need a minute. 456 00:21:29,149 --> 00:21:30,841 - No. You're - You're good. - God. 457 00:21:31,013 --> 00:21:33,119 - You are... good. - I hate high heels. 458 00:21:33,257 --> 00:21:34,810 You are good. 459 00:21:34,983 --> 00:21:37,744 Ooh. 460 00:21:37,848 --> 00:21:39,815 Sorry. Did you just take a photo of me? 461 00:21:39,953 --> 00:21:42,784 No, my phone died. That's what happens with phones. 462 00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,453 Piper! 463 00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:58,144 I've been looking all over for you. 464 00:21:58,282 --> 00:22:00,698 Who was that guy you were talking to? 465 00:22:00,836 --> 00:22:02,769 Um, that was my friend, Dr. Wendling. 466 00:22:02,873 --> 00:22:04,668 He's a surgeon at my hospital. 467 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,117 Is he single? 468 00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:08,154 I don't think he's really your type. 469 00:22:08,292 --> 00:22:10,363 He's a rich doctor and he's not my type? 470 00:22:10,536 --> 00:22:14,125 There you are, Maya! Hi! 471 00:22:14,263 --> 00:22:16,369 Yeah, he's... he's less baby daddy. 472 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:18,198 He's more sugar daddy, but... 473 00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:19,545 How are you? 474 00:22:19,717 --> 00:22:22,720 Can we get two vodka sodas, please? 475 00:22:22,893 --> 00:22:24,550 - Thank you. - Mnh-mnh. 476 00:22:24,688 --> 00:22:25,728 What? What are you doing?! 477 00:22:25,861 --> 00:22:27,141 You can't drink. You're pregnant. 478 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,727 Shit! I wish you would have 479 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,385 reminded me of that before I gave away $30. 480 00:22:32,558 --> 00:22:34,007 It wasn't a total waste. 481 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,146 Heh-heh-heh. 482 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,945 Hey. How's your night going? 483 00:22:41,739 --> 00:22:46,157 Sorry. I don't talk to pregnant chicks. Yo. 484 00:22:47,538 --> 00:22:51,577 There are like 100 guys in this bar, and all of them suck! 485 00:22:51,749 --> 00:22:54,338 What about 101? 486 00:22:54,476 --> 00:22:57,479 I'm Samuel. Nice to meet you. 487 00:22:57,583 --> 00:23:00,379 Hi. I'm Piper. 488 00:23:00,517 --> 00:23:02,588 Beautiful, Piper. 489 00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:04,935 Hunh... Thank you. 490 00:23:05,107 --> 00:23:08,110 Just give me one sec. One sec. 491 00:23:08,248 --> 00:23:11,390 Maya! I'm leaving! I found my guy. He is sexy. 492 00:23:11,528 --> 00:23:14,703 He's an engineer. And he just invited me back to his place! 493 00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:18,051 - God. Where is he? - He's right over there. 494 00:23:20,226 --> 00:23:22,780 I love him. What? Why are you laughing? 495 00:23:22,953 --> 00:23:24,575 - Piper. - What? 496 00:23:24,713 --> 00:23:26,922 - You can't be serious. - I'm so serious. 497 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:29,580 - He's Black. - Okay. What? 498 00:23:29,718 --> 00:23:31,133 Won't it be a little odd 499 00:23:31,306 --> 00:23:33,515 when "his" baby comes out white as a ghost? 500 00:23:33,619 --> 00:23:36,035 "Phoebe Bridgers doing yoga" white. 501 00:23:36,138 --> 00:23:38,106 Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 502 00:23:38,244 --> 00:23:41,592 I hate this night! This night is a bust, man! 503 00:23:41,730 --> 00:23:43,629 I'm sorry. 504 00:23:43,801 --> 00:23:45,907 Let's just go. 505 00:23:48,772 --> 00:23:50,256 Who are you talking to? 506 00:23:50,394 --> 00:23:51,982 It's Brantley. I feel like 507 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:54,191 she's gonna offer me the deal or something. 508 00:23:54,294 --> 00:23:56,296 - My God. Put it on speaker. - Yeah. 509 00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,473 Wasn't mad. I was just taken off guard. 510 00:24:00,611 --> 00:24:01,923 So, do we have a deal or not? 511 00:24:02,061 --> 00:24:06,721 Yeah! Yes! Sorry. I-I thought I blew it. 512 00:24:06,859 --> 00:24:08,343 You blew chunks. 513 00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:11,829 Yeah, that was morning sickness, um, 514 00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:14,970 because I'm... I'm pregnant and I was pregnant, um, 515 00:24:15,108 --> 00:24:16,455 when I was at your office. 516 00:24:16,593 --> 00:24:17,835 I just didn't know it. 517 00:24:18,008 --> 00:24:19,468 I didn't even know you were seeing anyone. 518 00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:22,322 Yeah, it's, you know... it's complicated. 519 00:24:23,841 --> 00:24:25,981 Single and pregnant. 520 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,088 I love it. I think the readers will love it. 521 00:24:29,191 --> 00:24:30,814 Just show me some of that authenticity 522 00:24:30,986 --> 00:24:32,298 in your first draft. 523 00:24:32,436 --> 00:24:36,751 Hundred percent. Thank you, Jane Brantley! 524 00:24:39,685 --> 00:24:41,963 - My God. My God. - My God! 525 00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:43,827 I can't believe you're writing a book! Aah! 526 00:24:43,965 --> 00:24:45,829 I'm roommates with a sexy Margaret Atwood. 527 00:24:45,967 --> 00:24:48,176 Thank you. My God. But seriously, though. 528 00:24:48,348 --> 00:24:50,212 You think you're proud of me now? 529 00:24:50,350 --> 00:24:54,458 Wait until you see this hot-ass dude I'm going on a date with. 530 00:24:54,596 --> 00:24:56,943 I present... Kyle. 531 00:24:57,047 --> 00:24:58,704 Whoa. He looks like a model. 532 00:24:58,876 --> 00:25:02,052 He isa model. Well, he used to be. 533 00:25:02,224 --> 00:25:03,881 Now he works for his dad's business. 534 00:25:04,054 --> 00:25:07,022 It's actually, like, a really cute story, but anyways. 535 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,300 I matched with him this morning on Bumble, 536 00:25:09,404 --> 00:25:11,855 and now we are going on a date this afternoon. 537 00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:13,719 - Already? - Maya... 538 00:25:13,857 --> 00:25:15,548 I'm two and a half weeks pregnant, okay? 539 00:25:15,721 --> 00:25:17,136 I gotta get on this, you know? 540 00:25:17,274 --> 00:25:19,656 We gotta move quick. Quick! 541 00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:24,833 - Piper! Hey! - Hi! 542 00:25:24,971 --> 00:25:26,490 Nice to meet you in person. 543 00:25:26,628 --> 00:25:28,527 Nice to meet you! I'll get the first round. 544 00:25:28,665 --> 00:25:30,705 No, no. Don't be silly. I already bought your round. 545 00:25:30,736 --> 00:25:34,187 Just pick a club, get your ball, and let's hit the links. 546 00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:36,742 Orange and a purple. There you go. 547 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,158 Thanks. Ladies first. 548 00:25:39,261 --> 00:25:41,367 So, I do a lot of business deals on the course. 549 00:25:41,505 --> 00:25:43,305 If you want me to go easy on you, let me know. 550 00:25:43,403 --> 00:25:45,716 Alright, big shot. Let's see what you got. 551 00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:56,382 My God. 552 00:25:59,730 --> 00:26:02,250 So, you, you go on a lot of Bumble dates? 553 00:26:02,388 --> 00:26:05,564 Um, just like four to six a week. 554 00:26:07,945 --> 00:26:09,740 Why? What about you? What's your deal? 555 00:26:09,878 --> 00:26:13,261 I'm just so busy with work, and all my clients are guys, 556 00:26:13,399 --> 00:26:16,126 so Bumble's the only option I have to meet girls. 557 00:26:16,264 --> 00:26:17,506 Not that I'm complaining. 558 00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:18,956 You're gorgeous. 559 00:26:19,094 --> 00:26:21,269 And I'm so happy to be here. 560 00:26:21,407 --> 00:26:24,444 Um, thank you. 561 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,102 So, on your profile, it says 562 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,104 that you're looking for something serious, 563 00:26:29,242 --> 00:26:31,106 and I was just curious if that was something 564 00:26:31,244 --> 00:26:32,694 you put on there more recently 565 00:26:32,798 --> 00:26:34,385 or if that was, like, a vestige 566 00:26:34,489 --> 00:26:36,111 from when you first signed up for the app 567 00:26:36,249 --> 00:26:38,251 or, like, what your current status is? 568 00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:40,391 No, I'm open to something serious. 569 00:26:40,495 --> 00:26:42,773 And I think we're off to a great start. 570 00:26:42,911 --> 00:26:45,742 Yeah. I-I agree. 571 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,744 Well, I think we are, 572 00:26:47,882 --> 00:26:50,091 but then you might see me play golf and be horrified. 573 00:26:50,229 --> 00:26:51,610 - It gets pretty bleak. - No. 574 00:26:51,748 --> 00:26:53,380 You might change your mind about me in 20 seconds. 575 00:26:53,404 --> 00:26:54,440 No judgement. 576 00:26:54,578 --> 00:26:56,200 Watch out, world. 577 00:26:56,822 --> 00:26:58,996 Cool. 578 00:26:59,134 --> 00:27:01,136 Almost sad that this is the last hole. 579 00:27:01,274 --> 00:27:02,966 I don't want today to end. 580 00:27:03,104 --> 00:27:05,485 Hey. I'll make you a deal. 581 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,661 If you make this hole-in-one... 582 00:27:08,799 --> 00:27:13,217 maybe we, continue this date back at my place. 583 00:27:14,011 --> 00:27:16,635 - Yeah? Okay. - I'm just saying. 584 00:27:16,773 --> 00:27:19,189 I want to pet the horsies! I want to pet the horsies! 585 00:27:19,361 --> 00:27:22,813 I want to pet the horsies! I want to pet the horsies! 586 00:27:22,951 --> 00:27:24,815 Hey, what the fuck was that?! 587 00:27:24,953 --> 00:27:26,265 I want to pet the horsies. 588 00:27:26,368 --> 00:27:30,165 - Well, I wanna get my dick wet. - Horsies. 589 00:27:31,511 --> 00:27:33,065 Piece of shit. 590 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:37,759 Crazy. You ready to take your shot? 591 00:27:37,863 --> 00:27:39,381 - That was horrible! - I know. 592 00:27:39,519 --> 00:27:42,039 Stupid brat stopped me from getting my hole-in-one. 593 00:27:42,177 --> 00:27:44,524 Not him. You! You were horrible! 594 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:48,494 How could you scream at an innocent kid like that?! 595 00:27:48,632 --> 00:27:50,669 It's easy. I hate kids. 596 00:27:51,808 --> 00:27:53,223 - Wha... - What's to like? 597 00:27:53,395 --> 00:27:55,708 They're smelly and annoying and expensive. 598 00:27:55,881 --> 00:27:56,882 The list goes on and on. 599 00:27:57,054 --> 00:27:58,953 You just, like, never want kids? 600 00:27:59,056 --> 00:28:00,540 Like, if you got a girl pregnant, 601 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,519 you would just, like, abandon her or something? 602 00:28:02,577 --> 00:28:04,890 I'd be outta the door faster than a racehorse. 603 00:28:05,028 --> 00:28:06,892 You know what? I'm a racehorse. 604 00:28:07,030 --> 00:28:09,411 Because I am out of the door here, right now. 605 00:28:09,584 --> 00:28:12,173 There's no door, but outside if there were a door, I'm out of it. 606 00:28:12,311 --> 00:28:14,727 - Bye! Bye, Kyle! - Hey. Wait. This is our first date. 607 00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:16,049 Why are we even talking about kids? 608 00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:17,834 Piper, it was... He started it! 609 00:28:17,972 --> 00:28:19,180 That's the guy. 610 00:28:19,318 --> 00:28:21,044 Look! I finally got a hole-in-one! 611 00:28:21,216 --> 00:28:23,563 God! Not even then! 612 00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:25,358 Um, may... No. No, no, no! 613 00:28:25,496 --> 00:28:27,084 Listen. Listen. Um, hold on, sir! 614 00:28:27,257 --> 00:28:29,057 Let's have a conversation. Come along with me. 615 00:28:29,086 --> 00:28:30,374 - Sir! - We're gonna talk about... 616 00:28:30,398 --> 00:28:31,398 Help! 617 00:28:35,852 --> 00:28:38,924 Piper, listen to your friend and pick your head up. 618 00:28:39,096 --> 00:28:40,753 Your favorite customer is here. 619 00:28:42,824 --> 00:28:44,377 Hey. That's okay, Raheem. 620 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,346 I'm used to being ignored by beautiful women. 621 00:28:48,554 --> 00:28:51,212 Really? You seem like the kind of guy 622 00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:53,086 who would be with a different girl every night. 623 00:28:53,110 --> 00:28:54,594 Only Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe 624 00:28:54,767 --> 00:28:57,045 when I'm watching old reruns of Friends. 625 00:28:59,013 --> 00:29:03,051 Wow, Piper .That's the first time I've seen you smile. 626 00:29:05,088 --> 00:29:07,746 Looks nice. 627 00:29:07,884 --> 00:29:09,092 Thanks. 628 00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:12,578 That's, um... That's really sweet. 629 00:29:13,924 --> 00:29:17,548 Um, yeah, so, I'll, - I-I'll have my usual. 630 00:29:17,652 --> 00:29:20,206 A nonfat vanilla latte with one shot of espresso 631 00:29:20,310 --> 00:29:22,450 and eight pumps of vanilla? 632 00:29:22,588 --> 00:29:24,268 - You remembered. - Of course I remembered. 633 00:29:24,314 --> 00:29:25,867 It's a psychotic order. 634 00:29:25,971 --> 00:29:28,974 But also kind of cute. 635 00:29:29,146 --> 00:29:31,597 Lot of sugar. Ha! 636 00:29:32,632 --> 00:29:34,427 Hey, how many goals last night, bud? 637 00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:36,464 - Five goals. - Alright. Good stuff. 638 00:29:36,602 --> 00:29:38,580 Well, let me know when you get to that final, alright? 639 00:29:38,604 --> 00:29:40,917 - Most definitely. Yeah. - Alright. Come on. 640 00:29:41,055 --> 00:29:42,297 There you go. 641 00:29:42,470 --> 00:29:43,574 Thank you. 642 00:29:43,712 --> 00:29:46,474 So, - I forgot to pay, right? 643 00:29:46,612 --> 00:29:49,615 Yeah. Yeah. Just tap or swipe. 644 00:29:49,753 --> 00:29:53,653 Hey, you, you have a-a great day, alright? 645 00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:55,379 - You too. - Okay. 646 00:29:56,553 --> 00:30:00,177 - Hey, Cameron? - Yeah? 647 00:30:00,315 --> 00:30:03,560 Do you maybe want to ask me out? 648 00:30:03,663 --> 00:30:06,149 I thought I wasn't your type? 649 00:30:06,287 --> 00:30:08,358 That never stopped you before. 650 00:30:08,496 --> 00:30:10,947 It... Well, yeah. I-I do, actually. 651 00:30:11,085 --> 00:30:12,485 I just... Things were going so well, 652 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:14,295 I didn't want to push my luck. 653 00:30:14,433 --> 00:30:16,538 How does dinner at my place sound? 654 00:30:16,676 --> 00:30:18,137 Let me... Let me give you my business card. 655 00:30:18,161 --> 00:30:19,852 You can shoot me a text, alright? 656 00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:22,648 Okay. Cool. 657 00:30:22,786 --> 00:30:24,591 Actually, I-I don't think I can go out with a guy 658 00:30:24,615 --> 00:30:28,447 whose Instagram handle is @StraightCashidy. 659 00:30:29,655 --> 00:30:32,347 I'm just messing with you. Relax. 660 00:30:32,485 --> 00:30:34,487 Check the side of your cup. 661 00:30:36,696 --> 00:30:38,353 So you'd know. 662 00:30:40,977 --> 00:30:42,012 You're good. 663 00:30:44,221 --> 00:30:46,810 Okay. Don't hit that woman. 664 00:30:46,948 --> 00:30:47,984 Hi. Hey. 665 00:30:48,122 --> 00:30:49,813 - See you. - Bye. 666 00:30:49,917 --> 00:30:52,816 You see what happens when you lift your head up? 667 00:30:52,954 --> 00:30:54,645 You have yourself a man. 668 00:30:57,545 --> 00:30:58,546 Maya! 669 00:30:58,718 --> 00:31:01,618 I have some news! I found my guy. 670 00:31:01,721 --> 00:31:03,171 Really? Who? 671 00:31:03,309 --> 00:31:06,140 Cameron Cassidy. 672 00:31:06,243 --> 00:31:08,211 He's the guy who comes into the coffee shop 673 00:31:08,349 --> 00:31:10,144 every day, the banker. 674 00:31:10,247 --> 00:31:12,042 The guy who harasses you every day? 675 00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:14,803 It's not harassing. It's... It's cute. 676 00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:16,667 You didn't think it was cute a few weeks ago. 677 00:31:16,805 --> 00:31:18,807 I didn't need a baby daddy a few weeks ago. 678 00:31:18,911 --> 00:31:22,328 And, Maya, this guy, he's got all the features. 679 00:31:22,432 --> 00:31:26,919 He is hot. He's got a good job. He's fit. 680 00:31:27,057 --> 00:31:28,403 He has great hair. 681 00:31:28,576 --> 00:31:31,579 He is really hot. 682 00:31:31,717 --> 00:31:34,237 I mean, what more could a girl ask for? 683 00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:36,618 Maybe to have some sort of connection with him? 684 00:31:36,756 --> 00:31:38,907 Well, we're gonna have a whole lifetime of connections. 685 00:31:38,931 --> 00:31:40,795 My God. That sounds like the nonsense 686 00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:43,360 my parents are always preaching to me about arranged marriages. 687 00:31:43,384 --> 00:31:46,628 Do you ever think that maybe your parents are onto something? 688 00:31:46,801 --> 00:31:50,667 I mean, they've been together, like, 35 years. 689 00:31:52,013 --> 00:31:53,749 I don't think they were ever truly in love, okay? 690 00:31:53,773 --> 00:31:56,362 That's not an ideal type of relationship. 691 00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:59,055 You finally get to have a family of your own. 692 00:31:59,193 --> 00:32:01,781 Okay. I hear what you're saying. 693 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,956 But you're not thinking about the fact 694 00:32:04,094 --> 00:32:06,855 that the alternative is Evan! 695 00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:09,789 Captain Cat Piss across the hall! 696 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,653 Now, what should I wear? 697 00:32:11,826 --> 00:32:14,415 I need Cameron to want to fuck me on the first date. 698 00:32:14,553 --> 00:32:15,830 Come on! 699 00:32:15,968 --> 00:32:17,487 What about a straitjacket and a thong? 700 00:32:17,659 --> 00:32:19,903 My God! That is so mean! 701 00:32:23,631 --> 00:32:24,804 Hi. 702 00:32:26,634 --> 00:32:28,636 Can I come in? 703 00:32:28,808 --> 00:32:30,327 Yes. Yes, of course. 704 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:35,332 You look absolutely stunning. 705 00:32:35,470 --> 00:32:37,162 Took my breath away. 706 00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:39,474 Wow. 707 00:32:39,612 --> 00:32:41,131 Come on. Let me get you a drink. 708 00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:42,615 Okay. 709 00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:44,410 No, I don't want to go out with Sandeep. 710 00:32:44,548 --> 00:32:46,654 He has a comb-over! 711 00:32:48,828 --> 00:32:51,176 I don't care if he has a comb-over anda ponytail. 712 00:32:51,314 --> 00:32:53,833 That's worse. 713 00:32:56,802 --> 00:32:59,184 I'll talk to you later, Mom. Someone's at the door. 714 00:32:59,356 --> 00:33:01,220 And it better not be Sandeep! 715 00:33:02,359 --> 00:33:05,155 Hi, Maya. Piper home? 716 00:33:05,293 --> 00:33:08,262 My lady. 717 00:33:10,643 --> 00:33:12,852 I'll be right back. Gonna get the food. 718 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:14,164 Okay. 719 00:33:19,307 --> 00:33:20,826 Here we are. 720 00:33:22,862 --> 00:33:24,968 My famous shrimp scampi. 721 00:33:25,106 --> 00:33:26,625 Okay, Top Chef. 722 00:33:26,728 --> 00:33:28,385 Are you trying to win me over with food? 723 00:33:28,558 --> 00:33:30,525 'Cause it's working. 724 00:33:30,698 --> 00:33:32,389 Well, my mother always told me 725 00:33:32,562 --> 00:33:34,874 the way to a lady's heart is through her stomach. 726 00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:36,842 Do you want to, like, maybe tell me just 727 00:33:36,980 --> 00:33:39,500 a little bit more about her and your family in general? 728 00:33:39,638 --> 00:33:40,880 I would love to hear. 729 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,779 Well, I grew up in North Jersey. 730 00:33:44,953 --> 00:33:48,060 My father is a financial advisor. 731 00:33:48,198 --> 00:33:50,649 And my mom, she owns a bakery. 732 00:33:50,752 --> 00:33:52,858 Maybe that's where I got my great cooking skills. 733 00:33:52,996 --> 00:33:55,412 - I don't know. - Well, maybe you can teach me 734 00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:57,932 some of your cooking skills, 'cause every time 735 00:33:58,070 --> 00:34:00,797 I've tried baking cookies, I always end up burning them. 736 00:34:00,900 --> 00:34:02,523 So, just getting back to the business 737 00:34:02,661 --> 00:34:04,180 of getting to know each other, 738 00:34:04,318 --> 00:34:06,906 do you envision yourself staying in Philadelphia long-term? 739 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,702 This is like an interview. 740 00:34:12,188 --> 00:34:15,398 No. 741 00:34:15,536 --> 00:34:17,434 Kidding! Funny. 742 00:34:17,607 --> 00:34:21,990 It's good we are learning about one another. 743 00:34:22,094 --> 00:34:24,855 Um, but, you know, 744 00:34:24,959 --> 00:34:29,653 speaking of family, um, tell me about yours. 745 00:34:29,757 --> 00:34:33,036 I don't... I don't think 746 00:34:33,174 --> 00:34:36,419 you want me to drop that bombshell right now. 747 00:34:36,557 --> 00:34:40,112 Come on. Tell me. It can't be that bad. 748 00:34:40,285 --> 00:34:42,459 Okay. 749 00:34:42,597 --> 00:34:45,635 My dad ran off before I was born, 750 00:34:45,773 --> 00:34:48,741 and my mom died shortly after I was born, 751 00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:52,228 so a lot of my childhood was spent 752 00:34:52,366 --> 00:34:53,608 in and out of foster homes. 753 00:34:53,746 --> 00:34:56,370 So, yeah, kind of a bummer. 754 00:34:56,473 --> 00:34:59,131 So, yeah, that's my deal. 755 00:34:59,304 --> 00:35:02,134 Wow. I'm sorry. I'm... 756 00:35:02,307 --> 00:35:04,240 No, it's pretty heavy. 757 00:35:04,378 --> 00:35:05,689 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. 758 00:35:05,793 --> 00:35:08,175 No, thank you. For sharing. 759 00:35:08,313 --> 00:35:11,971 And there's a lot behind those beautiful eyes, isn't there? 760 00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:14,974 And you had a meeting last week, right? 761 00:35:15,147 --> 00:35:16,493 How'd it go? 762 00:35:16,631 --> 00:35:20,566 Yeah. It was good. Um, I got a book deal. 763 00:35:20,670 --> 00:35:22,810 I mean, it's with the sixth-best 764 00:35:22,948 --> 00:35:24,674 publisher in Philadelphia, but... 765 00:35:24,846 --> 00:35:27,263 - What? - Yeah. I did get a book deal. 766 00:35:27,401 --> 00:35:29,092 That's unbelievable. 767 00:35:29,230 --> 00:35:30,507 This is unbelievable. 768 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,337 How could she go on a date 769 00:35:32,475 --> 00:35:34,891 without consulting with me first? 770 00:35:34,994 --> 00:35:36,341 Look. We slept together. 771 00:35:36,513 --> 00:35:39,067 D-Doesn't that mean anything? 772 00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:41,587 Evan, you really need to move on. 773 00:35:41,691 --> 00:35:44,314 You're a great guy, but... 774 00:35:44,452 --> 00:35:46,661 Piper doesn't like you like that. 775 00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:50,700 We had something. We had this connection. 776 00:35:50,872 --> 00:35:54,600 Look, Piper's just a complex girl, okay? 777 00:35:54,704 --> 00:35:56,844 She doesn't know what she wants. 778 00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:04,162 You want me to get a condom? 779 00:36:04,300 --> 00:36:05,680 No! 780 00:36:05,818 --> 00:36:07,717 - Okay. - Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. 781 00:36:07,855 --> 00:36:09,615 Y-You just want to take it slow? 782 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,516 No. No. No. 783 00:36:13,654 --> 00:36:16,277 If you say "no" one more time, I'm gonna go home. 784 00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:19,936 You arehome. 785 00:36:20,039 --> 00:36:23,560 No. I just don't think we need one. 786 00:36:23,698 --> 00:36:26,045 You know, it feels better when it's all natural. 787 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,771 And I'm on birth control, so... 788 00:36:27,875 --> 00:36:29,014 Nope. 789 00:36:30,326 --> 00:36:31,879 Let's do this. 790 00:36:36,573 --> 00:36:37,885 Yes. 791 00:36:54,350 --> 00:36:55,765 Hey. 792 00:36:55,937 --> 00:36:58,871 Did you just take a crib shot of me? 793 00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:03,911 No. 794 00:37:04,049 --> 00:37:06,258 - Yes, you did. - What's a crib shot? 795 00:37:06,431 --> 00:37:09,779 It's something guys do after they have sex with a girl. 796 00:37:09,951 --> 00:37:11,746 They take a picture of her in bed. 797 00:37:11,884 --> 00:37:12,884 Ew! 798 00:37:12,989 --> 00:37:15,716 I know. It's really creepy. 799 00:37:15,854 --> 00:37:18,270 And you gotta up your selfie game, Piper. 800 00:37:18,408 --> 00:37:21,515 My God! You're a creep! 801 00:37:21,618 --> 00:37:24,759 - Two creepers. - Two creepers. Aah! 802 00:37:29,592 --> 00:37:31,041 I was covered in algae. 803 00:37:31,179 --> 00:37:32,560 My God. 804 00:37:32,698 --> 00:37:34,597 Come here. What's your doggie's name? 805 00:37:34,735 --> 00:37:36,702 Hi. Hey. Ozzie? 806 00:37:38,117 --> 00:37:40,188 What's wrong, babe? 807 00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:41,707 - I'm just... - You hungry? 808 00:37:41,811 --> 00:37:43,744 - I don't know if it's good. - Aww. 809 00:37:43,882 --> 00:37:47,092 - Cocktails! Whoo! - Whoo! 810 00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:49,370 Let me get the appetizers. Be right back. 811 00:37:49,474 --> 00:37:51,959 - Okay. Cool. - Yeah. 812 00:37:53,926 --> 00:37:57,447 Sorry. False start. 813 00:37:57,585 --> 00:37:59,138 Here we go. 814 00:38:08,147 --> 00:38:11,910 Cut it out! You're holding up the line! 815 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:20,159 Hey. Where were you last night? 816 00:38:20,332 --> 00:38:23,024 Um, where do you think I was last night? 817 00:38:23,162 --> 00:38:25,786 Wow. That's the third night this week. 818 00:38:25,924 --> 00:38:27,804 Pretty soon I might need to find a new roommate. 819 00:38:27,857 --> 00:38:29,997 Yeah. Tomorrow's our two-month anniversary. 820 00:38:30,135 --> 00:38:32,171 So cute. And he's gonna meet me after work, 821 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,553 and I'm gonna tell him everything then. 822 00:38:34,691 --> 00:38:36,980 You're really gonna tell him that you're pregnant with another man's child? 823 00:38:37,004 --> 00:38:38,316 What? No! 824 00:38:38,454 --> 00:38:40,594 I'm gonna tell him I'm pregnant with hiskid. 825 00:38:40,697 --> 00:38:43,666 Do you really want your relationship to be based off of lies? 826 00:38:43,804 --> 00:38:45,084 I know this sounds kind of weird, 827 00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:47,704 but I get really excited thinking about 828 00:38:47,877 --> 00:38:50,328 the next one being his, you know? 829 00:38:50,466 --> 00:38:54,677 As long as my kid has a good life, I will be happy. 830 00:38:56,886 --> 00:38:59,164 So, what's the surprise you're dying to tell me about? 831 00:38:59,302 --> 00:39:02,182 Why don't we just, like, go sit over there and I'll tell you all about it? 832 00:39:03,996 --> 00:39:05,550 I made you a little treat. 833 00:39:05,688 --> 00:39:07,275 Homemade. 834 00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:08,794 So, you baked me... 835 00:39:08,898 --> 00:39:10,900 - Yeah, it's a cookie. - I guess I can assume 836 00:39:11,038 --> 00:39:13,316 that the surprise isn't you learned how to bake. 837 00:39:13,454 --> 00:39:15,076 Kidding. 838 00:39:15,214 --> 00:39:17,182 Yeah, no. Still suck at baking. Um, no. 839 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,080 The surprise has nothing to do with that. 840 00:39:19,218 --> 00:39:22,567 Um, remember when we were at the park a few weeks ago 841 00:39:22,739 --> 00:39:25,328 and we saw that really cute puppy and I was like, "my God. 842 00:39:25,466 --> 00:39:26,719 We should get a puppy together." 843 00:39:26,743 --> 00:39:28,573 You got us a puppy! 844 00:39:28,745 --> 00:39:31,576 - No. N... No. - Okay. Cat? 845 00:39:31,748 --> 00:39:33,267 - Frog. Turtle. - No. Frog? 846 00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:35,994 No. No! You got us one of those little teacup pigs! 847 00:39:36,097 --> 00:39:39,791 - Not a pig. - Just tell me, baby! 848 00:39:39,894 --> 00:39:41,965 - Baby. - Yeah? 849 00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:43,898 No. 850 00:39:44,036 --> 00:39:45,383 Baby. 851 00:39:45,521 --> 00:39:46,625 Yeah...? 852 00:39:46,729 --> 00:39:49,317 No. Baby. 853 00:39:53,218 --> 00:39:55,634 You're... 854 00:39:55,738 --> 00:39:57,187 pregnant? 855 00:39:57,325 --> 00:39:58,844 Surprise! 856 00:40:01,364 --> 00:40:04,022 Wow. How? 857 00:40:05,541 --> 00:40:06,783 When? 858 00:40:06,956 --> 00:40:09,027 I-I can't... I can't say for sure, 859 00:40:09,130 --> 00:40:13,100 but maybe it was even our first date. 860 00:40:13,238 --> 00:40:14,964 Wow. I mean, I thought you were on the pill. 861 00:40:15,102 --> 00:40:19,624 I am. It's just that, - Quick medical lesson... 862 00:40:19,762 --> 00:40:21,798 the pill is only 99% effective, 863 00:40:21,936 --> 00:40:24,560 and I guess we're the one percent. 864 00:40:24,698 --> 00:40:27,286 - Whoa. - Your sperm is just 865 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,255 crazy effective, and it just... 866 00:40:30,393 --> 00:40:32,637 pshew-pshew, got in there, you know? 867 00:40:32,775 --> 00:40:34,880 Michael Phelps, but make it sperm. 868 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,471 Strong sperm. Broke through. 869 00:40:39,644 --> 00:40:41,818 Just broke on through. It broke on through that seal. 870 00:40:41,991 --> 00:40:44,269 - Wow. That's crazy. Wow. - Cameron. 871 00:40:44,407 --> 00:40:47,652 We're gonna get through this. You and me. 872 00:40:47,790 --> 00:40:50,827 And... you know. 873 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,140 - Boy or girl? - They. Who cares? 874 00:40:53,278 --> 00:40:56,661 It's human life. It's a... It's cool. 875 00:40:56,833 --> 00:40:59,422 It's cool. It's a cool thing to do together. 876 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,494 - Give me a kiss. - It's exciting. 877 00:41:08,155 --> 00:41:09,225 Maya! 878 00:41:09,328 --> 00:41:11,469 Piper! What are you doing here?! 879 00:41:11,607 --> 00:41:13,274 - I've been looking for you. - I'm being serious. 880 00:41:13,298 --> 00:41:14,989 Why are you here? Remember what happened 881 00:41:15,127 --> 00:41:16,484 the last time you snuck into the hospital? 882 00:41:16,508 --> 00:41:18,268 My God. That was, like, three years ago, 883 00:41:18,406 --> 00:41:20,995 and I was, like, super fuckin' wasted. 884 00:41:21,168 --> 00:41:22,168 Heh. 885 00:41:22,272 --> 00:41:24,965 Sorry. She's very sick. Mentally. 886 00:41:25,103 --> 00:41:28,347 - Why are you here? - She's a patient now. 887 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,040 That's right. I'm going to the vaj doctor. 888 00:41:31,178 --> 00:41:32,800 Please. They're called OB/GYN's. 889 00:41:32,938 --> 00:41:34,215 I-I know what they're called. 890 00:41:34,388 --> 00:41:36,021 - Can I tell you something? - I don't know. 891 00:41:36,045 --> 00:41:37,643 - Is it workplace-appropriate? - Last night, 892 00:41:37,667 --> 00:41:39,600 I told Cameron he's the father. 893 00:41:39,738 --> 00:41:41,291 And? 894 00:41:41,429 --> 00:41:43,431 I mean, he was hesitant at first, 895 00:41:43,535 --> 00:41:45,330 but now he seems super on-board. 896 00:41:45,468 --> 00:41:47,056 He's meeting me at this appointment. 897 00:41:47,228 --> 00:41:48,713 You really think that's a good idea? 898 00:41:48,885 --> 00:41:50,715 You do realize that the doctor's gonna be 899 00:41:50,853 --> 00:41:55,029 able to tell you exactly when the baby was conceived, right? 900 00:41:55,167 --> 00:41:56,647 Yeah, I know. I've thought about that. 901 00:41:56,721 --> 00:42:01,449 But here's the thing. I'm just gonna sort of lie 902 00:42:01,553 --> 00:42:03,348 about when my last period was. 903 00:42:03,486 --> 00:42:05,212 It's only like a three-week difference. 904 00:42:05,384 --> 00:42:07,145 So nobody's gonna know. 905 00:42:07,248 --> 00:42:09,423 Can't believe your evil plan is actually gonna work. 906 00:42:09,596 --> 00:42:12,046 You can't keep calling it evil when everybody's happy. 907 00:42:12,184 --> 00:42:14,014 I wouldn't say that everyone's happy. 908 00:42:14,152 --> 00:42:18,225 Everyone seems pretty happy. I'm happy. Cameron's happy. 909 00:42:18,363 --> 00:42:22,643 It's such a shame your new girlfriend couldn't join us. 910 00:42:22,747 --> 00:42:26,405 Mom, Piper and I broke up. 911 00:42:26,578 --> 00:42:28,994 Evan! 912 00:42:29,132 --> 00:42:30,409 Mom, it's for the best. 913 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:32,584 We wanted different things, you know? 914 00:42:32,722 --> 00:42:34,931 I wanted to date her. 915 00:42:35,104 --> 00:42:37,278 She wanted me to not date her. 916 00:42:37,416 --> 00:42:40,488 But how could anyone not want to date my little pop star?! 917 00:42:40,592 --> 00:42:43,768 I'm not a pop star. My band plays alt rock. 918 00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:46,840 Evan, honey, you don't have to 919 00:42:46,943 --> 00:42:50,015 pick apart the food I make for you. 920 00:42:50,119 --> 00:42:53,191 You know it's always fully cooked. 921 00:42:53,329 --> 00:42:54,537 I know, Mom. 922 00:42:54,675 --> 00:42:59,335 But E. coli can be a tricky little beast. 923 00:43:00,301 --> 00:43:05,617 Well, if you think there's a chance she's the one, 924 00:43:05,790 --> 00:43:07,446 don't give up. 925 00:43:09,759 --> 00:43:11,623 Thanks, Mom. 926 00:43:11,761 --> 00:43:13,038 I thought I'd be more nervous, 927 00:43:13,142 --> 00:43:15,144 but I'm, like, actually... I'm excited! 928 00:43:15,282 --> 00:43:17,560 Excited. I know. It feels, like, so real. 929 00:43:17,698 --> 00:43:19,217 Yeah. 930 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,220 - Hi. I am Dr. Chapman. - Hey, Doc! 931 00:43:22,323 --> 00:43:24,981 And you two must be Mr. and Mrs. Brennan. 932 00:43:25,119 --> 00:43:28,985 We're not married, but he ismy boyfriend. 933 00:43:29,158 --> 00:43:31,160 Yeah. Cameron. Hey. Nice to meet you. 934 00:43:31,298 --> 00:43:33,990 - How are you? - Okay. Nice to meet you, too. 935 00:43:34,128 --> 00:43:35,440 God, you're so cute. 936 00:43:35,578 --> 00:43:37,649 Um, and so what brings you here today? 937 00:43:37,787 --> 00:43:40,652 Well, I believe I am pregnant. 938 00:43:40,825 --> 00:43:42,065 Took some home pregnancy tests, 939 00:43:42,102 --> 00:43:43,655 and they came back positive, so... 940 00:43:43,793 --> 00:43:46,347 - Yeah. - Really just here to, like, confirm it. 941 00:43:46,485 --> 00:43:48,211 Okay. Let me just take your medical history. 942 00:43:48,315 --> 00:43:50,006 - Okay. Cool. - Okay. 943 00:43:50,179 --> 00:43:52,457 Do you have any underlying medical conditions? 944 00:43:52,595 --> 00:43:54,010 - No. - No. 945 00:43:54,183 --> 00:43:55,954 Okay. Do you smoke, drink, do recreational drugs? 946 00:43:55,978 --> 00:43:58,256 - No. - Not right now. 947 00:43:58,359 --> 00:44:00,396 Not at the moment because of... 948 00:44:00,499 --> 00:44:02,363 - this whole thing. - That's funny. 949 00:44:02,536 --> 00:44:05,850 Okay. Let's keep it that way. Is this your first pregnancy? 950 00:44:05,988 --> 00:44:09,819 No. I had an abortion in 2011. 951 00:44:09,992 --> 00:44:11,959 Okay. 952 00:44:12,097 --> 00:44:15,618 - Babe, you had an abortion? - Yeah. 953 00:44:15,756 --> 00:44:19,173 And when was the first day of your last period? 954 00:44:19,311 --> 00:44:24,558 Eight weeks ago, and the reason I didn't, 955 00:44:24,731 --> 00:44:28,044 take a-a test sooner is because I was really just, 956 00:44:28,182 --> 00:44:30,529 like, feeling really scared and nervous. 957 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:31,876 That's totally fine, okay? 958 00:44:32,048 --> 00:44:33,981 We're gonna do an abdominal ultrasound 959 00:44:34,119 --> 00:44:35,599 and see what's happening inside, okay? 960 00:44:35,707 --> 00:44:38,054 Alright. So I'm going to need you to lift up your shirt. 961 00:44:38,192 --> 00:44:39,549 - Okay. - Okay. Lift up your shirt. 962 00:44:39,573 --> 00:44:41,213 I'm going to put some gel on your abdomen. 963 00:44:41,299 --> 00:44:42,517 It's going to be a little cool. 964 00:44:42,541 --> 00:44:46,891 - It's gonna be cold. - You're insane. 965 00:44:47,063 --> 00:44:49,652 - Ooh, wow, that is cold. - It's cold. 966 00:44:49,790 --> 00:44:51,689 - Yeah. - Okay. Alright. 967 00:44:55,727 --> 00:44:58,143 Okay. 968 00:44:58,247 --> 00:44:59,835 Okay. You see that bubble there? 969 00:44:59,973 --> 00:45:04,563 That's the gestational sac. And inside it is your baby. 970 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:08,257 You're definitely pregnant. Congratulations! 971 00:45:08,395 --> 00:45:13,089 Yes! The baby in there... on there... in... 972 00:45:13,262 --> 00:45:15,264 My God. Um, okay. 973 00:45:15,436 --> 00:45:17,922 - So, what's next? - Yeah. Next steps. 974 00:45:18,060 --> 00:45:19,371 We determine the due date 975 00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,109 and we come up with a prenatal care plan. 976 00:45:21,201 --> 00:45:23,997 Okay. So w-when's the due date? 977 00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:26,240 Okay. Let's see. 978 00:45:28,173 --> 00:45:30,279 The fetus looks pretty big... 979 00:45:30,451 --> 00:45:32,695 to be only eight weeks. 980 00:45:32,833 --> 00:45:35,111 Piper, you sure your last period was eight weeks ago? 981 00:45:35,249 --> 00:45:36,872 - Yeah, positive. - Okay. 982 00:45:37,010 --> 00:45:40,427 Based on your last period, your due date is mid-February. 983 00:45:40,565 --> 00:45:42,947 I guess you just have a really big baby. 984 00:45:43,119 --> 00:45:45,259 Whoo! Yeah! Hoo-hoo-hoo! 985 00:45:45,397 --> 00:45:47,848 Yeah, it's gonna be a bruiser. 986 00:45:47,952 --> 00:45:49,263 Yeah. 987 00:45:50,437 --> 00:45:53,095 Here is a print-out. 988 00:45:53,233 --> 00:45:55,787 - What? That's... - Whoa. 989 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,549 Whoa! 990 00:46:07,730 --> 00:46:09,801 That's the baby. 991 00:46:10,595 --> 00:46:13,287 Okay, cool, so we're, like, done here, though? 992 00:46:15,980 --> 00:46:19,431 This is so pretty. Lot of different flora and fauna. 993 00:46:19,569 --> 00:46:21,468 Wow. 994 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,230 Hey! Mom, Dad, we're here. 995 00:46:25,334 --> 00:46:26,922 Wow, they just leave the door open? 996 00:46:27,060 --> 00:46:28,406 Suburbs. 997 00:46:28,509 --> 00:46:31,305 My God. You grew up here? 998 00:46:31,443 --> 00:46:32,893 Yeah. 999 00:46:32,997 --> 00:46:35,171 - Cameron. - Hey! 1000 00:46:35,309 --> 00:46:37,277 Sweetheart. Mwah! 1001 00:46:37,415 --> 00:46:39,624 And you must be Piper. 1002 00:46:39,762 --> 00:46:42,006 I am. It's so great to meet you. 1003 00:46:42,178 --> 00:46:45,078 The pleasure is all mine. 1004 00:46:45,181 --> 00:46:47,839 And there's my future grandchild. 1005 00:46:47,977 --> 00:46:49,737 Joe, get in here! 1006 00:46:49,841 --> 00:46:50,980 - Coming. - May I? 1007 00:46:51,118 --> 00:46:52,602 - Coming. - Yeah. 1008 00:46:52,740 --> 00:46:54,060 Hello, darling. It's your grandma. 1009 00:46:54,190 --> 00:46:55,813 My apologies, sweetheart. 1010 00:46:55,951 --> 00:46:58,850 I've been totally preoccupied with Old Man Maloney next door. 1011 00:46:58,988 --> 00:47:01,991 Had to beat him down a couple times on the squash court. 1012 00:47:02,164 --> 00:47:03,544 I'm sure. 1013 00:47:03,717 --> 00:47:05,512 Old Man Maloney's the same age as you, pal. 1014 00:47:05,650 --> 00:47:07,272 He doesn't play like me, now, does he? 1015 00:47:07,376 --> 00:47:10,103 You know. 1016 00:47:10,206 --> 00:47:12,346 Hi! So nice to meet you. 1017 00:47:12,519 --> 00:47:14,486 - Piper. - Joe Cassidy. 1018 00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:16,109 - So... - Lovely to meet you. Piper? 1019 00:47:16,212 --> 00:47:17,696 Piper. Yeah. 1020 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:21,390 Well, now that we're all acquainted, come on inside. 1021 00:47:21,562 --> 00:47:24,358 Okay. Aww! That's such a cute dog. 1022 00:47:24,496 --> 00:47:26,464 - That's my other son. - What's his name? 1023 00:47:26,567 --> 00:47:28,052 - Bonzo. - We had to put him down 1024 00:47:28,224 --> 00:47:29,294 a couple weeks ago. 1025 00:47:29,398 --> 00:47:31,641 So, there I was, 1026 00:47:31,779 --> 00:47:33,643 out of bait, entirely. 1027 00:47:33,781 --> 00:47:37,647 I spot this 42-pound striped bass, 1028 00:47:37,751 --> 00:47:40,443 and he's staring me right in the eyes. 1029 00:47:48,417 --> 00:47:50,246 And how did I catch it, you ask? 1030 00:47:50,384 --> 00:47:51,799 How... how did you catch it? 1031 00:47:51,903 --> 00:47:54,078 You know, I ask myself the same damn question... 1032 00:47:54,216 --> 00:47:55,734 Who would like some hors d'oeuvres? 1033 00:47:57,081 --> 00:47:58,299 I've got your favorite, Cameron. 1034 00:47:58,323 --> 00:47:59,738 Pesto with a goat-cheese spread. 1035 00:47:59,911 --> 00:48:02,672 Diane! I was right in the middle of a story. 1036 00:48:02,776 --> 00:48:06,090 Joe, nobody cares about the striped bass. 1037 00:48:06,262 --> 00:48:07,746 We've heard it a million times. 1038 00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:09,517 You caught the fish with the scraps of your lunch. 1039 00:48:09,541 --> 00:48:11,095 But she's never heard it before. 1040 00:48:11,267 --> 00:48:12,613 There'll be plenty of time 1041 00:48:12,751 --> 00:48:14,892 for you to share your stories with Piper. 1042 00:48:15,030 --> 00:48:16,686 She's part of the family now. 1043 00:48:16,824 --> 00:48:18,826 Aww. 1044 00:48:18,930 --> 00:48:20,828 And on that note, Piper... 1045 00:48:22,382 --> 00:48:24,522 There's something that I want you to have. 1046 00:48:26,386 --> 00:48:28,077 Yeah. 1047 00:48:28,215 --> 00:48:29,665 It's an old family heirloom. 1048 00:48:29,768 --> 00:48:32,426 - Mom. - I can't take that. 1049 00:48:32,564 --> 00:48:34,912 My mother gave it to me when I was pregnant with Cameron. 1050 00:48:35,050 --> 00:48:37,293 My grandmother gave it to her. 1051 00:48:37,431 --> 00:48:39,099 I always dreamed that someday I would give it 1052 00:48:39,123 --> 00:48:44,404 to my own daughter, but seeing as I only had a son, 1053 00:48:44,542 --> 00:48:46,502 I thought it would be fitting if I gave it to you. 1054 00:48:47,476 --> 00:48:51,100 The mother of my first grandchild. 1055 00:48:51,238 --> 00:48:54,793 This is... wow. 1056 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:57,727 It's, like, the nicest thing anyone's ever given me. 1057 00:48:57,831 --> 00:49:00,316 I'm so happy these two are hitting it off, you know? 1058 00:49:00,454 --> 00:49:03,595 I was a little nervous after your initial reaction. 1059 00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:05,293 Well, obviously, I was a little shocked. 1060 00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:06,978 I mean, who wouldn't be? 1061 00:49:07,116 --> 00:49:09,094 You kids have only been together a couple of months, 1062 00:49:09,118 --> 00:49:13,812 but when I heard how Cameron talked about you on the phone... 1063 00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:14,986 Mwah. 1064 00:49:15,124 --> 00:49:17,678 Seeing you two together today, 1065 00:49:17,816 --> 00:49:19,896 I don't think I've ever seen you this happy, Cameron. 1066 00:49:19,991 --> 00:49:21,096 No. 1067 00:49:21,234 --> 00:49:23,788 My God. 1068 00:49:23,926 --> 00:49:26,894 Do you know what this is? 1069 00:49:26,998 --> 00:49:28,586 It's magical. 1070 00:49:28,689 --> 00:49:32,831 Like a classic Cassidy family moment. 1071 00:49:32,970 --> 00:49:35,351 Yes! I know what you're thinking, Dad. 1072 00:49:35,524 --> 00:49:37,319 I think we need a photograph. 1073 00:49:37,457 --> 00:49:38,941 - Yes. - Yes! 1074 00:49:39,045 --> 00:49:40,401 - In front of the mantelpiece. - Come on now. 1075 00:49:40,425 --> 00:49:42,186 What are we thinking? 1076 00:49:42,358 --> 00:49:44,119 - Time for a group family photo. - Come on. 1077 00:49:44,257 --> 00:49:46,017 Okay. 1078 00:49:46,155 --> 00:49:48,064 I want to get Bonzo in the background here, okay? 1079 00:49:48,088 --> 00:49:49,193 Okay, squeeze in tight. 1080 00:49:49,331 --> 00:49:52,127 And then, un, deux, trois. 1081 00:49:52,265 --> 00:49:54,370 - Family! - Family! 1082 00:50:06,417 --> 00:50:07,935 Are you okay? 1083 00:50:08,039 --> 00:50:10,317 Mnh-mnh. No. No. 1084 00:50:10,455 --> 00:50:11,870 What's wrong, hon? 1085 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:16,289 It's just, all of this, you know, it's... 1086 00:50:16,392 --> 00:50:17,635 it's a lot. 1087 00:50:17,738 --> 00:50:19,361 It's a lot. 1088 00:50:19,499 --> 00:50:22,571 What do you mean? 1089 00:50:22,709 --> 00:50:25,539 I didn't grow up like this, you know? 1090 00:50:25,677 --> 00:50:30,993 This is utopia, and that was not my childhood. 1091 00:50:31,131 --> 00:50:32,236 You know, so... 1092 00:50:32,374 --> 00:50:33,651 Listen, I just... I just... 1093 00:50:33,754 --> 00:50:35,722 I just want you to be happy, you know? 1094 00:50:35,860 --> 00:50:37,655 They're just really excited, you know? 1095 00:50:37,758 --> 00:50:40,209 If you can give them a break, it's their first grandchild. 1096 00:50:40,382 --> 00:50:42,349 Come on. 1097 00:50:42,487 --> 00:50:44,558 Come on, we miss you out there. 1098 00:50:44,696 --> 00:50:46,181 Come on, we miss you out there. 1099 00:50:46,319 --> 00:50:48,424 Come on. Let's go. 1100 00:50:49,184 --> 00:50:51,082 Now try it with me. Breathe in, breathe out. 1101 00:50:51,220 --> 00:50:54,189 Hey, P! Can you put headphones in? 1102 00:50:54,327 --> 00:50:55,397 Now the baby is en route. 1103 00:50:55,535 --> 00:50:57,054 Sorry! I forgot you were home. 1104 00:50:57,192 --> 00:50:59,056 Hey, what's going on? 1105 00:50:59,194 --> 00:51:02,576 Jane Brantley sent me over so many notes. 1106 00:51:02,714 --> 00:51:04,416 Okay. When do you have to submit your new draft? 1107 00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:05,890 Next month. 1108 00:51:06,028 --> 00:51:09,100 But I haven't made any progress in, like, weeks. 1109 00:51:09,238 --> 00:51:10,446 It's just, like, really hard 1110 00:51:10,584 --> 00:51:12,104 to write about any type of relationship 1111 00:51:12,241 --> 00:51:14,623 when I'm going through all this stuff with Cameron. 1112 00:51:14,795 --> 00:51:19,662 Like, how am I qualified to give any kind of dating advice? 1113 00:51:19,766 --> 00:51:21,250 Why don't you just take a break? 1114 00:51:21,388 --> 00:51:23,045 I mean, you've been in here all day. 1115 00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:24,391 I was. 1116 00:51:24,529 --> 00:51:26,117 I was watching some Lamaze videos, 1117 00:51:26,290 --> 00:51:27,601 'cause I signed up for a class. 1118 00:51:27,739 --> 00:51:29,293 Are you also gonna move to Connecticut 1119 00:51:29,431 --> 00:51:30,880 and open a tiny candle shop? 1120 00:51:31,018 --> 00:51:33,918 Okay, that does sound very nice, actually. 1121 00:51:35,299 --> 00:51:36,679 What, are we in the '90s? 1122 00:51:36,783 --> 00:51:38,785 What? 1123 00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:49,140 - Cassidy? - Hey! 1124 00:51:49,278 --> 00:51:51,487 I wanted to thank you so much for, you know, 1125 00:51:51,660 --> 00:51:53,489 allowing me to leave early today. 1126 00:51:53,662 --> 00:51:56,492 Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 1127 00:51:56,630 --> 00:51:58,667 Tanaka just sent over the initial deal points, 1128 00:51:58,805 --> 00:52:01,463 and he wants them reviewed by end of day. 1129 00:52:01,635 --> 00:52:04,638 Okay. Um... 1130 00:52:04,776 --> 00:52:07,331 Yeah, I was, - Remember I, - 1131 00:52:07,503 --> 00:52:10,506 I was, told you I had an application 1132 00:52:10,679 --> 00:52:12,577 with my girlfriend this afternoon. 1133 00:52:12,681 --> 00:52:16,133 Well, staying late with me will have its perks. 1134 00:52:16,271 --> 00:52:19,308 She's actually, like, on her way over here right now. 1135 00:52:19,446 --> 00:52:21,483 So, this is, t... 1136 00:52:21,655 --> 00:52:23,174 to juggle, you know? 1137 00:52:23,312 --> 00:52:24,624 Relax, Cassidy, 1138 00:52:24,762 --> 00:52:26,350 I'm talking about making you partner 1139 00:52:26,522 --> 00:52:28,421 when Lord comes back from Florida. 1140 00:52:28,524 --> 00:52:29,939 But I like where your head's at. 1141 00:52:30,077 --> 00:52:32,632 You're talking about making me a partner? 1142 00:52:32,770 --> 00:52:35,773 So, I take it you'll be staying late? 1143 00:52:39,190 --> 00:52:40,812 Geez. 1144 00:52:40,950 --> 00:52:43,919 Just imagine the life you could give her and your child 1145 00:52:44,022 --> 00:52:45,369 on a partner's salary. 1146 00:52:45,541 --> 00:52:47,509 Let me think about that. Yes. 1147 00:52:47,647 --> 00:52:49,166 This is amazing! 1148 00:52:49,304 --> 00:52:51,892 Meet me in my office in 10. 1149 00:52:52,030 --> 00:52:56,414 And, Cassidy, I hope you like cheesecake. 1150 00:52:58,313 --> 00:53:00,901 - Hello. - Hello. 1151 00:53:01,039 --> 00:53:03,973 What the actual fuck is going on in this office? 1152 00:53:04,077 --> 00:53:06,355 She's, like, whispering sweet nothings in your ear 1153 00:53:06,493 --> 00:53:07,977 about cheesecake? 1154 00:53:08,115 --> 00:53:10,290 It's not... it's not what you think. 1155 00:53:10,394 --> 00:53:11,567 You guys were cheek-to-cheek. 1156 00:53:11,705 --> 00:53:13,224 You were basically slow dancing. 1157 00:53:13,362 --> 00:53:15,157 - Shh. - You shh! 1158 00:53:15,261 --> 00:53:19,817 She was just, like, offering me a promotion, actually. 1159 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,647 Okay, obviously, it's cool if you get a promotion. 1160 00:53:22,751 --> 00:53:25,374 We all love a pay bump. We all love a title bump. 1161 00:53:25,512 --> 00:53:27,894 - Yes. - But come on. 1162 00:53:28,032 --> 00:53:31,208 That's like an H.R. nightmare waiting to happen. 1163 00:53:31,346 --> 00:53:33,071 Yeah. 1164 00:53:33,244 --> 00:53:34,314 What about Lamaze class? 1165 00:53:34,418 --> 00:53:35,591 Can we take a rain check? 1166 00:53:35,729 --> 00:53:37,766 Come on! I paid in advance. 1167 00:53:37,904 --> 00:53:39,595 This is really important to me. 1168 00:53:39,733 --> 00:53:42,080 Can you just go by yourself? Just this one time? 1169 00:53:42,219 --> 00:53:43,599 Yeah, yeah. Happy to go by myself. 1170 00:53:43,772 --> 00:53:46,671 Yeah, I'll just fly solo to Lamaze class, 1171 00:53:46,775 --> 00:53:50,088 and you can stay here and lick cheesecake 1172 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:54,748 off of your gorgeous boss with the perfect teeth! 1173 00:53:54,886 --> 00:53:56,612 Enjoy your cheesecake! 1174 00:53:56,785 --> 00:53:58,821 We will. Thank you. 1175 00:54:00,616 --> 00:54:01,997 Hi. For Piper. 1176 00:54:04,965 --> 00:54:07,105 Evan: Good evening, Miss. If you're hungry, 1177 00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:10,108 there's supplies to make s'mores behind my seat. 1178 00:54:10,281 --> 00:54:13,111 My God. Evan. 1179 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,390 Evan Ebert, at your service. 1180 00:54:15,528 --> 00:54:18,289 Of course you're my Uber driver. 1181 00:54:18,427 --> 00:54:21,706 It's not exactly how I envisioned our second date. 1182 00:54:23,121 --> 00:54:24,295 Jesus Christ. 1183 00:54:24,468 --> 00:54:25,745 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 1184 00:54:25,883 --> 00:54:28,644 Maya told me you're seeing someone, and... 1185 00:54:28,817 --> 00:54:30,784 Well, I'm assuming it's going really well, 1186 00:54:30,957 --> 00:54:33,442 based on your drop-off location. 1187 00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:35,237 Yeah. Thought it was going well, 1188 00:54:35,341 --> 00:54:41,139 but here I am, going to my first Lamaze class by myself. 1189 00:54:41,312 --> 00:54:43,072 You want to talk about it? 1190 00:54:43,176 --> 00:54:45,592 You really want to hear me bitch about my problems? 1191 00:54:45,730 --> 00:54:47,145 Yeah, of course. 1192 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:48,813 Feels like a conflict of interest, you know? 1193 00:54:48,837 --> 00:54:51,391 No, that's ancient history. 1194 00:54:51,495 --> 00:54:54,946 No, I'd love to hear you bitch about your problems. 1195 00:54:55,084 --> 00:54:56,084 Okay. 1196 00:54:56,154 --> 00:54:58,916 - I care about you, Piper. - Evan... 1197 00:54:59,019 --> 00:55:02,299 Come on, I... You know I do. 1198 00:55:02,437 --> 00:55:04,646 Seriously, I'm all ears. 1199 00:55:05,612 --> 00:55:10,514 Okay. Well, if you insist. 1200 00:55:10,652 --> 00:55:14,103 I met this guy, and... 1201 00:55:14,207 --> 00:55:17,521 I thought he was a really great match for me. 1202 00:55:17,659 --> 00:55:21,973 I saw a future with us, and I saw us having a family together, 1203 00:55:22,111 --> 00:55:27,358 and now everything just feels a little off. 1204 00:55:27,496 --> 00:55:28,946 Now it really sucks. 1205 00:55:29,049 --> 00:55:32,881 And I'm not thrilled about going to Lamaze by myself. 1206 00:55:33,019 --> 00:55:35,884 That's easy. I mean, you just gotta do the Humming Dove. 1207 00:55:36,022 --> 00:55:38,369 It's my favorite move. I love Lamaze. 1208 00:55:38,542 --> 00:55:41,234 You know Lamaze? What is happening? 1209 00:55:41,372 --> 00:55:44,202 Well, I get super nervous when my band's about to perform, 1210 00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:46,239 and so I got online, 1211 00:55:46,412 --> 00:55:48,966 and I started looking at all these relaxed breathing videos 1212 00:55:49,069 --> 00:55:52,245 and came across all these Lamaze channels, and it's awesome. 1213 00:55:52,418 --> 00:55:56,214 It's not just helpful to moms. It can help anyone. 1214 00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,802 I've found this one technique 1215 00:55:57,906 --> 00:56:00,218 where you inhale through the nose, 1216 00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:04,533 exhale through your mouth while audibly humming. 1217 00:56:04,671 --> 00:56:06,984 Like... 1218 00:56:07,122 --> 00:56:09,745 - Ooh... - Okay, okay, okay. 1219 00:56:09,883 --> 00:56:12,645 It works great. It helps me a ton. 1220 00:56:12,748 --> 00:56:14,474 Very interesting, Evan Ebert. 1221 00:56:14,578 --> 00:56:16,373 I'm learning a lot about you today. 1222 00:56:16,511 --> 00:56:17,822 And while you're at it, 1223 00:56:17,926 --> 00:56:19,490 you gotta check out Mommy Two Be's channel. 1224 00:56:19,514 --> 00:56:21,354 - Hers is the best. - Did you say, "Mommy Two Be"? 1225 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,000 - Yeah. - I'm obsessed. 1226 00:56:23,103 --> 00:56:24,415 I watch her videos all the time. 1227 00:56:24,588 --> 00:56:25,761 - Breathe in. - Yeah. 1228 00:56:25,934 --> 00:56:27,325 - Breathe... breathe in. - Breathe in. 1229 00:56:27,349 --> 00:56:30,076 Breathe out... 'til the baby's en route. 1230 00:56:30,214 --> 00:56:32,009 My God. And you use that, like, 1231 00:56:32,112 --> 00:56:33,942 when you're just with your bandmates? 1232 00:56:34,114 --> 00:56:36,427 They think it's weird when I say that part, 1233 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,188 but then we put on a good show, and they shut up. 1234 00:56:39,326 --> 00:56:41,812 - It's great. - Very interesting. 1235 00:56:41,915 --> 00:56:44,124 God, Mommy Two Be. 1236 00:56:44,262 --> 00:56:46,748 I wish she was going with me to Lamaze class. 1237 00:56:46,886 --> 00:56:48,577 I love her. 1238 00:56:48,715 --> 00:56:53,789 I-I don't think it's too weird, but I-I could go with you, 1239 00:56:53,962 --> 00:56:56,102 if you need some support or help. 1240 00:56:56,240 --> 00:56:58,276 I'm good. I'm good. But thank you. 1241 00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:02,349 That's really nice of you to offer, but no. 1242 00:57:02,453 --> 00:57:04,017 - It's not... - That's what she can say... 1243 00:57:04,041 --> 00:57:05,939 You wouldn't have come if I didn't. 1244 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:11,082 Right over there. 1245 00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:13,568 I see the seat. 1246 00:57:13,706 --> 00:57:15,086 This is weird. 1247 00:57:15,224 --> 00:57:16,467 Okay. Wow. 1248 00:57:16,605 --> 00:57:18,745 God, I'm, like, breakdancing. 1249 00:57:18,883 --> 00:57:20,298 - My gosh. - What? 1250 00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:21,783 That's Travis Boyer. 1251 00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:24,475 - Want a yoga block? - Maybe. 1252 00:57:24,648 --> 00:57:26,891 - Who? - You want a ball instead? 1253 00:57:26,995 --> 00:57:28,548 I want a yoga ball. 1254 00:57:28,652 --> 00:57:30,930 He's, like, the top music executive here in Philly. 1255 00:57:31,068 --> 00:57:32,932 - I can't believe he's here. - Yeah. 1256 00:57:33,070 --> 00:57:36,073 Why don't you go introduce yourself before class starts? 1257 00:57:36,211 --> 00:57:38,455 - Can we have pizza? - Tonight? 1258 00:57:38,593 --> 00:57:40,940 - Yes. - We had pizza yesterday. 1259 00:57:41,078 --> 00:57:42,469 I'm not gonna bother him with his family. 1260 00:57:42,493 --> 00:57:44,668 I'll do it some other time, maybe after. 1261 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,635 - But I still want pizza. - Okay. 1262 00:57:46,773 --> 00:57:48,741 We can have another pizza. What kind? 1263 00:57:48,844 --> 00:57:50,087 I want to leave. I hate this. 1264 00:57:50,190 --> 00:57:51,547 - We're here. - I hate it. I hate it. 1265 00:57:51,571 --> 00:57:52,917 - Comfy? - No, I'm not physically 1266 00:57:53,021 --> 00:57:54,861 comfortable, I'm not comfortable with you here. 1267 00:57:54,919 --> 00:57:57,474 I'm guessing this is your first child, baby. 1268 00:57:57,612 --> 00:57:58,923 You can tell? 1269 00:57:59,027 --> 00:58:00,625 You look more scared than Antwaan every time 1270 00:58:00,649 --> 00:58:03,100 I tell him "I just want to take myself out for a drive." 1271 00:58:03,203 --> 00:58:04,860 Because every time you go for a drive, 1272 00:58:04,998 --> 00:58:06,278 you leave me home with them kids. 1273 00:58:06,344 --> 00:58:08,346 This is cute. You guys are cute. 1274 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,970 This clearly is not your first time doing this. 1275 00:58:11,108 --> 00:58:13,041 We have two at home, but I do promise you this... 1276 00:58:13,179 --> 00:58:15,353 with each one, easier than the last. 1277 00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:17,528 We do it for the bonding experience, you know? 1278 00:58:17,701 --> 00:58:18,874 Keeps us close. 1279 00:58:19,012 --> 00:58:20,531 Give me that sugar. 1280 00:58:20,704 --> 00:58:21,981 It must be nice. 1281 00:58:22,119 --> 00:58:23,500 Good afternoon, moms and dads. 1282 00:58:28,194 --> 00:58:30,541 What a presence. 1283 00:58:30,679 --> 00:58:32,060 Good evening. 1284 00:58:32,198 --> 00:58:35,201 My name's Steve. Welcome to Lamaze class. 1285 00:58:35,339 --> 00:58:37,893 To start off, I want you all to sit pretzel style 1286 00:58:38,066 --> 00:58:39,239 across from your partner. 1287 00:58:39,377 --> 00:58:42,553 Hold each other's hands as you breathe. 1288 00:58:45,556 --> 00:58:47,351 Deeply. 1289 00:58:55,255 --> 00:58:57,913 As you breathe, I want you to explore 1290 00:58:58,051 --> 00:59:00,813 every part of your partner. 1291 00:59:00,916 --> 00:59:02,953 I want you to know their heartbeat. 1292 00:59:03,056 --> 00:59:04,748 It's very intense. 1293 00:59:04,886 --> 00:59:08,752 I want you to look into their eyes and discover their soul. 1294 00:59:08,924 --> 00:59:12,549 I want you to be the baby. 1295 00:59:12,687 --> 00:59:15,897 Okay. Just... 1296 00:59:16,035 --> 00:59:18,934 Excellent. Great start. 1297 00:59:19,107 --> 00:59:21,592 Now, moms, stay where you are. 1298 00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:23,905 Dads, get behind your partners. 1299 00:59:24,043 --> 00:59:25,443 Place your hands on their shoulders. 1300 00:59:25,596 --> 00:59:28,357 Now it's time to show your sensitive side. 1301 00:59:28,461 --> 00:59:32,085 Moms, I want you to continue with your deep breathing, 1302 00:59:32,223 --> 00:59:34,122 as if your baby's on the way. 1303 00:59:34,260 --> 00:59:36,020 Dads, I want you to give support and strength 1304 00:59:36,124 --> 00:59:37,284 throughout the whole process. 1305 00:59:37,435 --> 00:59:38,954 Just listen. Listen to my words. 1306 00:59:39,127 --> 00:59:40,414 Be the peanut butter to her jelly. 1307 00:59:40,438 --> 00:59:41,878 - The macaroni to her cheese. - Okay? 1308 00:59:43,096 --> 00:59:46,410 The Harry Potter to her Hermione. 1309 00:59:46,548 --> 00:59:49,240 Actually, Harry and Hermione aren't like that. 1310 00:59:49,378 --> 00:59:51,518 Their relationship is strictly platonic. 1311 00:59:51,622 --> 00:59:53,969 Shut up, Travis. 1312 00:59:54,142 --> 00:59:57,041 This is a safe space. 1313 00:59:57,145 --> 01:00:02,253 Piper, you are a beautiful flower. 1314 01:00:02,391 --> 01:00:07,155 You are so strong and you have so much love to give. 1315 01:00:07,293 --> 01:00:10,123 You will be an incredible mother, 1316 01:00:10,261 --> 01:00:13,057 and with every breath that you take, 1317 01:00:13,161 --> 01:00:16,164 you radiate love straight from your heart 1318 01:00:16,336 --> 01:00:19,961 to your child to all those around you. 1319 01:00:25,242 --> 01:00:27,900 Damn, that was smooth. My boy got game. 1320 01:00:28,003 --> 01:00:32,801 I want every dad in this room to take notes from this guy. 1321 01:00:32,939 --> 01:00:35,010 That's exactly the type of support 1322 01:00:35,148 --> 01:00:37,841 it'll take to get through this pregnancy. 1323 01:00:51,337 --> 01:00:56,791 Everything okay, Piper? You seem a little quiet. 1324 01:00:56,929 --> 01:00:58,482 No, everything's fine. 1325 01:00:58,620 --> 01:01:00,864 I'm just... I'm just thinking about the class 1326 01:01:01,002 --> 01:01:02,831 that we... that we went to. 1327 01:01:02,969 --> 01:01:04,108 Yeah. Yeah. 1328 01:01:04,212 --> 01:01:06,110 That was... It's funny 1329 01:01:06,214 --> 01:01:08,250 how everyone kept thinking we were a couple. 1330 01:01:08,354 --> 01:01:10,425 It's weird. 1331 01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:14,015 Yeah, it was hilarious. 1332 01:01:14,153 --> 01:01:16,465 Hey, what about that Steve guy? 1333 01:01:16,569 --> 01:01:19,399 That guy looked like he should have been oiling up on 1334 01:01:19,537 --> 01:01:23,300 Venice Beach instead of teaching pregnant women how to breathe. 1335 01:01:23,438 --> 01:01:25,440 He was... he was a buff dude. 1336 01:01:25,543 --> 01:01:29,030 - Yeah. - Yeah. He was... yeah. 1337 01:01:31,653 --> 01:01:33,897 He was a big dude. 1338 01:01:34,035 --> 01:01:35,139 - Well... - Whoa. 1339 01:01:35,277 --> 01:01:37,728 Here's your stop. 1340 01:01:37,901 --> 01:01:39,050 This is your stop, too, right? 1341 01:01:39,074 --> 01:01:41,007 Aren't you gonna come upstairs? 1342 01:01:41,145 --> 01:01:43,561 Yeah, actually I'm gonna run over to Office Depot. 1343 01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:46,530 My band has this big gig coming up at the Union Firehouse 1344 01:01:46,668 --> 01:01:50,051 in a couple months, and I want to print up some fliers. 1345 01:01:50,189 --> 01:01:52,570 That's, like, a great venue. 1346 01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:55,539 That's huge. Wow. That's a big deal. 1347 01:01:55,677 --> 01:02:00,406 Yeah, yeah, it's, definitely our biggest show to date. 1348 01:02:00,578 --> 01:02:02,063 Wow. 1349 01:02:02,201 --> 01:02:04,237 You know, I, - I do have a printer 1350 01:02:04,375 --> 01:02:06,067 if you want to just use my printer. 1351 01:02:06,205 --> 01:02:07,896 You don't have to go to Office Depot. 1352 01:02:08,034 --> 01:02:09,553 - Well, are you sure? - Yeah. 1353 01:02:09,691 --> 01:02:12,038 I mean, I got like 100 copies to print, so... 1354 01:02:12,176 --> 01:02:14,282 Yeah. I mean, I have, like, 1355 01:02:14,454 --> 01:02:16,733 hoarder levels of paper in my apartment. 1356 01:02:16,871 --> 01:02:18,735 It's all yours. 1357 01:02:18,873 --> 01:02:22,117 Hunky dory. I'll be sure to print up an extra one for you. 1358 01:02:22,255 --> 01:02:25,189 I still want you to see one of my shows, okay? 1359 01:02:25,293 --> 01:02:28,089 Yeah. You know, I can... 1360 01:02:28,227 --> 01:02:29,953 make a cup of coffee if you come upstairs. 1361 01:02:30,091 --> 01:02:31,644 We can, like, settle in. 1362 01:02:31,817 --> 01:02:34,026 You can tell me all about the gig and your music and... 1363 01:02:34,129 --> 01:02:35,441 Ooh, I don't know. 1364 01:02:35,613 --> 01:02:37,305 My mom says it's usually not good 1365 01:02:37,443 --> 01:02:40,964 to drink coffee after 4:00 p.m. 1366 01:02:41,136 --> 01:02:42,931 Maybe I'll make an exception? 1367 01:02:43,069 --> 01:02:44,691 Okay. 1368 01:02:44,795 --> 01:02:46,279 Cool. Don't tell mom. 1369 01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:49,282 Don't. She'll kill me. 1370 01:02:49,420 --> 01:02:51,077 You also don't have to have coffee. 1371 01:02:51,215 --> 01:02:54,667 You could just... come in and hang. 1372 01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:57,704 No, I'm just so grateful that you even went with me 1373 01:02:57,808 --> 01:03:00,811 to a Lamaze class. Well, I told you... 1374 01:03:00,984 --> 01:03:02,606 Hey. 1375 01:03:04,263 --> 01:03:05,471 Cam, what are you doing here? 1376 01:03:05,643 --> 01:03:09,095 You went to a Lamaze class together? 1377 01:03:09,233 --> 01:03:12,236 I like your shirt, man. It's, cool style. 1378 01:03:12,374 --> 01:03:14,376 Yeah. Wow. 1379 01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:16,171 We're twins. 1380 01:03:16,309 --> 01:03:18,311 I got out of work earlier than I expected, 1381 01:03:18,449 --> 01:03:21,280 so I made this romantic dinner, 1382 01:03:21,452 --> 01:03:25,905 and you come in with the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. 1383 01:03:26,009 --> 01:03:28,459 - Um... - That's a good one. 1384 01:03:28,597 --> 01:03:30,945 Yeah, I, - I'm actually Evan. 1385 01:03:31,048 --> 01:03:35,535 I'm her, um, neighbor and, um... and I'm also gonna get goin'. 1386 01:03:35,708 --> 01:03:37,537 No, you can still use the printer. 1387 01:03:37,675 --> 01:03:39,367 - No, it's fine. Fine. - Your fliers. 1388 01:03:39,539 --> 01:03:41,369 Follow the yellow brick road, bitch. 1389 01:03:41,507 --> 01:03:43,612 See ya, Piper. Nice meeting you, Cameron. 1390 01:03:43,716 --> 01:03:46,477 Okay, why are you mad at Evan? 1391 01:03:46,615 --> 01:03:48,548 - He did nothing wrong. - He did nothing wrong? 1392 01:03:48,686 --> 01:03:50,585 You don't go to a Lamaze class with a girl 1393 01:03:50,688 --> 01:03:53,036 if you're not the father of the baby. 1394 01:03:53,174 --> 01:03:55,176 I mean, do you think I didn't want to go? 1395 01:03:55,314 --> 01:03:57,626 You... You think I wanted to work late? 1396 01:03:57,730 --> 01:04:02,148 We need this promotion. We need to support our family. 1397 01:04:02,286 --> 01:04:04,530 Look, I'm sorry, you know? 1398 01:04:04,702 --> 01:04:06,049 And I'm sorry. Your... Your... 1399 01:04:06,221 --> 01:04:07,774 Your friend seemed like a nice guy. 1400 01:04:07,878 --> 01:04:10,156 I was inappropriate. 1401 01:04:10,294 --> 01:04:12,503 No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 1402 01:04:12,641 --> 01:04:14,195 - Yeah, I'm sorry too. - I'm so sorry. 1403 01:04:14,333 --> 01:04:16,956 No, I'm serious. This is new for us, 1404 01:04:17,060 --> 01:04:18,993 - and I'm sorry that I... - Yeah. 1405 01:04:19,131 --> 01:04:20,408 I just wanted to be with you. 1406 01:04:20,580 --> 01:04:22,962 - Really? - Yes, and I missed it. 1407 01:04:23,066 --> 01:04:24,205 I'm so sad. 1408 01:04:24,446 --> 01:04:25,689 Honey. 1409 01:04:25,827 --> 01:04:27,242 I'm sorry. 1410 01:04:27,380 --> 01:04:29,624 And you made me dinner? 1411 01:04:29,727 --> 01:04:30,867 Is that feta? 1412 01:04:31,005 --> 01:04:33,007 Quinoa salad with feta. 1413 01:04:33,145 --> 01:04:34,871 I love feta. 1414 01:04:51,266 --> 01:04:52,302 What's wrong, baby? 1415 01:04:52,405 --> 01:04:53,751 You okay? 1416 01:04:53,924 --> 01:04:55,063 - Yeah. - What's wrong? 1417 01:04:55,201 --> 01:04:56,481 I'm fine. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 1418 01:04:56,582 --> 01:04:58,411 - Sorry, I just... - Okay. 1419 01:04:58,549 --> 01:05:00,068 Just, talk dirty to me. 1420 01:05:00,206 --> 01:05:02,208 - Wow. - Yeah. 1421 01:05:02,346 --> 01:05:03,589 Alright. Yeah. 1422 01:05:03,727 --> 01:05:05,556 - Yeah, bitch. - Bitch, yeah. 1423 01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:08,352 Yeah. I knocked you up. 1424 01:05:08,490 --> 01:05:10,354 You did. 1425 01:05:10,458 --> 01:05:12,909 No, I knocked you up. 1426 01:05:14,634 --> 01:05:17,189 - I'm sorry! My God. - What the fuck, Piper? 1427 01:05:17,292 --> 01:05:20,226 I'm sorry. I don't know, I don't know. 1428 01:05:21,124 --> 01:05:23,022 Okay. 1429 01:05:23,126 --> 01:05:24,713 Hey, P? You almost ready? 1430 01:05:24,817 --> 01:05:27,130 Cameron said to get to the country club by three... 1431 01:05:28,786 --> 01:05:31,582 Hey, are you okay? 1432 01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:35,310 I think I need to break up with Cameron. 1433 01:05:35,448 --> 01:05:38,003 I can't keep doing this to him. 1434 01:05:38,141 --> 01:05:41,799 He deserves real love, and he's just not getting that kind of, 1435 01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:45,424 like, true love from me. 1436 01:05:45,562 --> 01:05:51,361 Hey, Cameron isn't the only one who deserves true love. 1437 01:05:54,433 --> 01:05:57,160 You were right. 1438 01:05:57,332 --> 01:05:59,576 Love isn't calculated. 1439 01:05:59,679 --> 01:06:02,441 So, guessing you want me to stay here 1440 01:06:02,579 --> 01:06:04,270 while you go talk to Cameron? 1441 01:06:04,443 --> 01:06:07,929 Yeah. Unless you wantto witness 1442 01:06:08,067 --> 01:06:11,346 the most awkward conversation of all time. 1443 01:06:11,519 --> 01:06:13,659 Yeah. I'll... I'll hang here. 1444 01:06:13,797 --> 01:06:15,626 Besides, I thought it was really weird 1445 01:06:15,764 --> 01:06:18,215 that he kept insisting I come along to lunch with you guys. 1446 01:06:18,319 --> 01:06:20,183 Yeah. 1447 01:06:20,355 --> 01:06:21,919 I think he just wanted to introduce you to one 1448 01:06:21,943 --> 01:06:23,358 of his weird friends. 1449 01:06:23,496 --> 01:06:26,672 My God. Him and my mom should be in a club. 1450 01:06:26,810 --> 01:06:28,950 What's the plan for after you break up with Cameron? 1451 01:06:29,088 --> 01:06:33,368 Talk to Evan. I have to tell him the truth. 1452 01:06:33,506 --> 01:06:35,301 It's about doing the right thing. 1453 01:06:37,441 --> 01:06:39,271 You know what, Piper? 1454 01:06:39,374 --> 01:06:42,205 You might not be a bad mom after all. 1455 01:06:42,377 --> 01:06:45,001 You might not be a bad godmother after all. 1456 01:06:45,139 --> 01:06:46,864 You want me to be the godmother? 1457 01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:49,350 Of course. 1458 01:06:49,488 --> 01:06:51,524 You should be everyone's godmother... truly. 1459 01:06:51,697 --> 01:06:54,010 Stop it. Piper, I love you. 1460 01:06:54,148 --> 01:06:56,943 I love you. 1461 01:06:57,047 --> 01:06:58,704 Like, a lot. 1462 01:07:01,155 --> 01:07:02,535 Wow. 1463 01:07:02,673 --> 01:07:04,503 This looks like the Titanic. 1464 01:07:04,641 --> 01:07:06,194 Hey, hey, Piper, over here! 1465 01:07:06,332 --> 01:07:07,713 - Hi! - Hi. 1466 01:07:07,885 --> 01:07:08,955 Hi. 1467 01:07:09,059 --> 01:07:10,371 Okay, come on. This way. 1468 01:07:10,509 --> 01:07:11,924 I got us a table in a private room. 1469 01:07:12,062 --> 01:07:13,833 Great. Um, it's good that we're in a private... 1470 01:07:13,857 --> 01:07:15,238 Hey, where's Maya? 1471 01:07:15,376 --> 01:07:17,526 Um, that's actually part of what I need to talk to you about. 1472 01:07:17,550 --> 01:07:19,656 I told Maya not to come. 1473 01:07:19,759 --> 01:07:23,246 Man. I can't believe she's gonna miss this. 1474 01:07:23,384 --> 01:07:24,730 Sorry. Miss what? 1475 01:07:24,868 --> 01:07:25,903 Miss this! 1476 01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:29,148 - Surprise! - Surprise! 1477 01:07:35,154 --> 01:07:36,397 Yeah! A surpr... 1478 01:07:36,535 --> 01:07:39,158 My. Everyone. 1479 01:07:39,262 --> 01:07:41,574 Hi. You're here. That's crazy. 1480 01:07:41,712 --> 01:07:43,404 - Hi. - Gorgeous. 1481 01:07:43,542 --> 01:07:46,027 - You're radiant. - Thank you. 1482 01:07:46,165 --> 01:07:47,270 There it is. 1483 01:07:50,514 --> 01:07:54,000 Aah! That's cool. 1484 01:07:54,104 --> 01:07:57,073 - Yeah. - You did that. 1485 01:07:57,211 --> 01:08:00,938 Hey, a surprise baby shower for the baby mama! 1486 01:08:03,251 --> 01:08:05,633 Wow. I... 1487 01:08:05,771 --> 01:08:08,256 Just so much joy, you know, flooding through my veins. 1488 01:08:08,394 --> 01:08:10,810 So, go ahead and tell me. What did you want to talk about? 1489 01:08:10,983 --> 01:08:12,640 Um, actually, can you give me a second? 1490 01:08:12,778 --> 01:08:14,228 I'm just gonna go make a quick call. 1491 01:08:14,366 --> 01:08:15,608 Okay. 1492 01:08:15,746 --> 01:08:18,680 He threw me a surprise baby shower. 1493 01:08:18,784 --> 01:08:20,579 Like, everyone I know is here. 1494 01:08:20,717 --> 01:08:24,030 His family, our friends. Even Jane Brantley is here. 1495 01:08:24,134 --> 01:08:25,411 Hold on a sec. 1496 01:08:25,549 --> 01:08:26,964 Why didn't he tell me about this? 1497 01:08:27,137 --> 01:08:29,312 Babe, you're a bit of a blabbermouth. 1498 01:08:29,484 --> 01:08:32,004 Maya, I need you here, right now. 1499 01:08:32,177 --> 01:08:36,042 Please, whatever you're doing, stop and make this a priority. 1500 01:08:36,146 --> 01:08:39,908 I need you to come here now, okay? Please? 1501 01:08:40,012 --> 01:08:41,669 Are you still gonna break up with him? 1502 01:08:41,807 --> 01:08:43,302 Yeah, I'm gonna break up with him in front of 1503 01:08:43,326 --> 01:08:45,569 everybody he knows. That's a real smart move. 1504 01:08:45,673 --> 01:08:47,157 Can you just get here? 1505 01:08:47,330 --> 01:08:50,816 'Cause I'm fucking flipping out. Fucking flipping out. 1506 01:08:50,954 --> 01:08:53,819 I'm sorry if my tone is intense, but I need you. 1507 01:08:53,991 --> 01:08:55,911 I just need you here 'cause I'm dying. I'm dying. 1508 01:08:55,993 --> 01:08:57,823 I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. I need you. 1509 01:08:57,995 --> 01:08:59,475 I need you. I need you. Just get here. 1510 01:08:59,514 --> 01:09:00,826 Alright, I'll be there in five. 1511 01:09:00,964 --> 01:09:02,793 I love you. I'm obsessed with you. Bye. 1512 01:09:02,931 --> 01:09:05,106 Whoo-kay. 1513 01:09:17,808 --> 01:09:20,984 It's the Pipester. 1514 01:09:21,122 --> 01:09:23,676 Cameron was right. This stuff is really good. 1515 01:09:28,819 --> 01:09:31,891 Hey, here she is now. Hey! There's my little lady. 1516 01:09:32,029 --> 01:09:34,204 - Hey. - It's so great to see you guys. 1517 01:09:34,377 --> 01:09:35,654 I'm actually going to read 1518 01:09:35,792 --> 01:09:37,138 your new draft tonight. 1519 01:09:37,276 --> 01:09:38,771 I've been traveling the last couple weeks. 1520 01:09:38,795 --> 01:09:40,521 I get it. No... No worries. 1521 01:09:40,659 --> 01:09:42,730 I... I... I can't wait to hear your thoughts. 1522 01:09:42,868 --> 01:09:44,732 Yeah. Well, I will catch you two later. 1523 01:09:44,870 --> 01:09:46,354 There's some fancy-looking dumplings, 1524 01:09:46,492 --> 01:09:47,932 and they're not gonna eat themselves. 1525 01:09:47,976 --> 01:09:49,299 - Nom-nom-nom. - Hey, so what do you think? 1526 01:09:49,323 --> 01:09:50,703 Some surprise party, right? 1527 01:09:50,841 --> 01:09:52,740 Yeah, just a quick question. 1528 01:09:52,912 --> 01:09:56,468 Um, how did Evan Ebert make the guest list? 1529 01:09:56,571 --> 01:09:59,229 I... I invited him. He's your friend, right? 1530 01:09:59,402 --> 01:10:01,404 Plus, I... I kinda felt bad about freaking out 1531 01:10:01,576 --> 01:10:03,406 on him the other night. 1532 01:10:03,544 --> 01:10:04,831 - Yeah. - Well, that's thoughtful. 1533 01:10:04,855 --> 01:10:06,719 Hey, Maya's here. Okay. 1534 01:10:06,857 --> 01:10:08,549 Hey, hey, now that everybody's here, 1535 01:10:08,687 --> 01:10:10,999 I would like to say a toast, please. 1536 01:10:11,103 --> 01:10:14,210 Hi. Um, so come... come on. Let's gather round. 1537 01:10:14,348 --> 01:10:16,246 Glasses up. 1538 01:10:16,384 --> 01:10:20,595 Well, first off, I want to thank you all so much for being here. 1539 01:10:20,768 --> 01:10:22,873 You know, it's amazing when we can all 1540 01:10:23,011 --> 01:10:25,945 come together... friends, family... 1541 01:10:26,118 --> 01:10:31,192 and celebrate what will be the birth of our first child. 1542 01:10:32,504 --> 01:10:35,921 You know, we all know that this is a surprise party for Piper, 1543 01:10:36,093 --> 01:10:37,750 but you know what? 1544 01:10:39,338 --> 01:10:42,376 It's not the only surprise. 1545 01:10:42,514 --> 01:10:44,240 Piper...? 1546 01:10:44,378 --> 01:10:46,966 I know that the last few months have been a roller coaster, 1547 01:10:47,139 --> 01:10:50,625 to say the least, and we've had our ups and downs. 1548 01:10:50,763 --> 01:10:52,972 But, at the end of the day, 1549 01:10:53,145 --> 01:10:56,113 there's nobody I'd rather start a family with than you. 1550 01:10:56,286 --> 01:10:59,565 And I, - I want to do what's right. 1551 01:11:01,947 --> 01:11:04,536 - Piper Brennan... - God. 1552 01:11:06,779 --> 01:11:09,126 Will you marry me? 1553 01:11:12,198 --> 01:11:14,097 Yes. No. 1554 01:11:15,305 --> 01:11:17,273 God. 1555 01:11:19,136 --> 01:11:21,138 I'm sorry, I can't. 1556 01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,486 I can't do this. 1557 01:11:23,624 --> 01:11:26,834 When we went on our first date, 1558 01:11:27,006 --> 01:11:30,631 I was... I was already three weeks pregnant. 1559 01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:33,219 I'm so sorry. 1560 01:11:35,843 --> 01:11:39,640 Um, I'm so sorry. So sorry. 1561 01:11:39,778 --> 01:11:43,506 I just wanted to do what was best for my kid. 1562 01:11:43,678 --> 01:11:47,337 Er, what I thought was best. 1563 01:11:47,510 --> 01:11:50,167 I didn't want the father of my baby 1564 01:11:50,340 --> 01:11:55,932 to be the father of my baby. 1565 01:11:56,035 --> 01:12:01,524 So, I went looking for a replacement dad. 1566 01:12:01,662 --> 01:12:04,216 Sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. Sick. 1567 01:12:04,354 --> 01:12:09,601 But then I found you, which was great, at first, 1568 01:12:09,704 --> 01:12:13,329 because you're you. 1569 01:12:13,467 --> 01:12:16,021 But the longer I kept lying, 1570 01:12:16,159 --> 01:12:19,714 the more I realized I don't want to be this person. 1571 01:12:19,852 --> 01:12:21,716 You don't deserve that. 1572 01:12:21,889 --> 01:12:23,511 My kid doesn't deserve that. 1573 01:12:23,649 --> 01:12:28,861 And, the father of my kid doesn't deserve that. 1574 01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:37,180 Evan, that's you. 1575 01:12:41,702 --> 01:12:44,014 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 1576 01:12:44,152 --> 01:12:46,016 I'm so sorry. 1577 01:12:55,923 --> 01:12:57,165 This is getting ridiculous. 1578 01:12:57,303 --> 01:12:58,902 You've got to get your life back together. 1579 01:12:58,926 --> 01:13:01,238 What life? I can't write this book. 1580 01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:03,379 Cameron's mom is leaving me all of these, like, 1581 01:13:03,517 --> 01:13:05,311 really angry voicemails, 1582 01:13:05,415 --> 01:13:08,384 and I keep getting calls from Cameron's attorney. 1583 01:13:08,522 --> 01:13:11,835 To top it all off, I'm having a baby real soon, 1584 01:13:11,939 --> 01:13:13,561 and Evan won't even talk to me. 1585 01:13:13,699 --> 01:13:17,220 You're lying on the couch eating chocolate and covered in filth. 1586 01:13:17,358 --> 01:13:20,430 When was the last time you even showered? 1587 01:13:20,568 --> 01:13:21,604 Tuesday. 1588 01:13:21,845 --> 01:13:23,502 You did not shower yesterday. 1589 01:13:23,606 --> 01:13:25,090 Last Tuesday. 1590 01:13:25,228 --> 01:13:26,056 Seriously? 1591 01:13:26,194 --> 01:13:28,404 Don't cry! 1592 01:13:30,060 --> 01:13:31,579 Evan lives right across the hall. 1593 01:13:31,717 --> 01:13:34,996 - Just go talk to him. - Yeah. Just talk to Evan. 1594 01:13:35,100 --> 01:13:36,342 No big deal. 1595 01:13:36,446 --> 01:13:38,586 Look. Look what happens. 1596 01:13:38,724 --> 01:13:40,761 Come on. 1597 01:13:42,348 --> 01:13:44,937 Watch. 1598 01:13:45,110 --> 01:13:48,631 Evan. 1599 01:13:48,803 --> 01:13:50,702 I know you're in there. 1600 01:13:50,874 --> 01:13:56,432 Can we please talk? Please? 1601 01:13:56,570 --> 01:13:58,917 Evan! 1602 01:13:59,987 --> 01:14:03,439 Wow, I guess he really does want nothing to do with you. 1603 01:14:03,577 --> 01:14:05,658 I mean, I didn't think he was gonna forgive me easily. 1604 01:14:05,682 --> 01:14:09,445 I just... I didn't think it was gonna be like this, you know? 1605 01:14:09,583 --> 01:14:11,205 I'm sorry. 1606 01:14:25,978 --> 01:14:28,464 Feels no fear like a twisting river. 1607 01:14:28,602 --> 01:14:30,569 You know, it's got to flow. 1608 01:14:45,032 --> 01:14:48,000 Thank you all so much for your support through the years. 1609 01:14:48,138 --> 01:14:50,624 It is a pleasure for me. Cheers to that. 1610 01:14:50,762 --> 01:14:52,315 - Cheers. - Cheers. 1611 01:15:18,721 --> 01:15:20,481 Um, hi. 1612 01:15:20,619 --> 01:15:23,622 I'm looking for Deer in Headlights. 1613 01:15:23,726 --> 01:15:25,244 We're Deer in Headlights. 1614 01:15:25,382 --> 01:15:28,247 Perfect. Um, do you know where Evan is? 1615 01:15:28,420 --> 01:15:30,836 Backstage, doing his pre-show rituals. 1616 01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:46,714 Hi. 1617 01:15:46,887 --> 01:15:48,544 Piper. 1618 01:15:48,682 --> 01:15:50,166 W-what are you doing here? 1619 01:15:50,269 --> 01:15:53,307 You always said you wanted me to see your band, so... 1620 01:15:53,410 --> 01:15:55,343 here I am. 1621 01:15:58,346 --> 01:16:02,178 And other... other things that need to be discussed. 1622 01:16:02,316 --> 01:16:05,561 Um, it's okay. It... Yeah. 1623 01:16:05,699 --> 01:16:08,943 I'll start... 1624 01:16:09,081 --> 01:16:11,394 Evan, I've changed. 1625 01:16:11,532 --> 01:16:15,881 Seriously. I... I've been going to Lamaze class alone. 1626 01:16:16,019 --> 01:16:18,090 Kind of into it. 1627 01:16:18,228 --> 01:16:21,266 And, um, I can't bring myself to write this book. 1628 01:16:21,438 --> 01:16:23,302 But it's been a really good thing, 1629 01:16:23,475 --> 01:16:25,304 'cause I was writing a relationship book, 1630 01:16:25,442 --> 01:16:29,136 and I'm not qualified to give advice on relationships. 1631 01:16:29,274 --> 01:16:31,587 I fucking suck at them. Clearly. 1632 01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:36,315 So, I got this memoir goin'. 1633 01:16:36,453 --> 01:16:39,422 It's about, you know, my pregnancy and... 1634 01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:42,218 the mistakes I've made. 1635 01:16:42,321 --> 01:16:47,119 So, maybe you'd want to take a look at it. 1636 01:16:47,257 --> 01:16:51,330 Okay, um, could you maybe just look at me? 1637 01:16:51,468 --> 01:16:54,955 Piper, I'm happy for you. I... I really am. 1638 01:16:55,093 --> 01:16:57,509 That doesn't change what you did. 1639 01:16:57,682 --> 01:16:59,970 This show is really big for me, so I'd really appreciate it 1640 01:16:59,994 --> 01:17:03,032 if you'd just... just left me alone and quit bothering me. 1641 01:17:06,760 --> 01:17:10,971 I'mbothering you? 1642 01:17:11,109 --> 01:17:15,734 I'm, like, pregnant as fuck with our child... 1643 01:17:15,838 --> 01:17:17,667 So now you call it "our child"? 1644 01:17:17,840 --> 01:17:18,910 "Our child." 1645 01:17:19,013 --> 01:17:20,670 I would have gone my whole life 1646 01:17:20,843 --> 01:17:23,155 not knowing I had a kid because of you. 1647 01:17:23,328 --> 01:17:25,330 You know how much that hurts? 1648 01:17:31,405 --> 01:17:34,684 Yeah, I... I messed up. 1649 01:17:34,857 --> 01:17:40,857 So, I'd love to at least apologize, if you'll hear it. 1650 01:17:45,868 --> 01:17:48,353 Fine. Go ahead. 1651 01:17:48,525 --> 01:17:52,806 Okay. Um... 1652 01:17:52,944 --> 01:17:57,051 God, I'm so sorry! 1653 01:17:57,189 --> 01:17:58,984 I don't know what I was thinking. 1654 01:17:59,122 --> 01:18:01,711 I'm a sociopath, maybe. I don't know. 1655 01:18:03,471 --> 01:18:07,648 I don't think I am, because sociopaths don't cry. 1656 01:18:07,786 --> 01:18:09,546 I've heard. Anyway... 1657 01:18:09,719 --> 01:18:12,549 I get if you don't want to talk to me, 1658 01:18:12,722 --> 01:18:14,172 or know me, but 1659 01:18:14,310 --> 01:18:16,553 it would be really great if you knew your kid. 1660 01:18:16,692 --> 01:18:19,246 I think they'd really like you. 1661 01:18:19,418 --> 01:18:23,560 'Cause I also like you just as you are. 1662 01:18:23,733 --> 01:18:26,149 That's from Bridget Jones's Diary! 1663 01:18:26,287 --> 01:18:29,359 I just rewatched it! 1664 01:18:32,259 --> 01:18:34,571 Okay. 1665 01:18:34,710 --> 01:18:37,713 Okay. 1666 01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:41,164 I am sorry. 1667 01:18:41,268 --> 01:18:44,374 Those are cool drums, by the way. 1668 01:18:44,512 --> 01:18:48,068 Have a good show. 1669 01:19:07,846 --> 01:19:11,712 Evan. Evan! Evan! 1670 01:19:11,850 --> 01:19:12,955 What are you doing? 1671 01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:20,548 Humming Dove. Humming Dove. 1672 01:19:27,624 --> 01:19:28,694 Hit it! 1673 01:19:38,739 --> 01:19:40,465 ♪ We were worlds apart 1674 01:19:40,810 --> 01:19:44,055 ♪ Though you lived just down the hall ♪ 1675 01:19:44,158 --> 01:19:45,953 ♪ You were my everything ♪ 1676 01:19:46,091 --> 01:19:51,165 ♪ But never noticed me at all ♪ 1677 01:19:51,338 --> 01:19:53,478 ♪ Until late that night ♪ 1678 01:19:53,650 --> 01:19:56,895 ♪ It was just like in my dreams ♪ 1679 01:19:56,999 --> 01:19:58,759 ♪ You gave me everything ♪ 1680 01:19:58,897 --> 01:20:03,453 ♪ But love is never what it seems ♪ 1681 01:20:03,591 --> 01:20:06,491 ♪ I wanted to be with you ♪ 1682 01:20:06,629 --> 01:20:09,943 ♪ But you had another plan ♪ 1683 01:20:10,081 --> 01:20:16,081 ♪ Too bad for me that it involved another man ♪ 1684 01:20:16,984 --> 01:20:19,366 ♪ Our love can not be planned ♪ 1685 01:20:19,538 --> 01:20:23,025 ♪ It's got to twist and flow like a river ♪ 1686 01:20:23,163 --> 01:20:25,682 ♪ Our love can not be planned ♪ 1687 01:20:25,855 --> 01:20:29,203 ♪ But for us, I'll always deliver ♪ 1688 01:20:29,341 --> 01:20:32,379 ♪ Our love can not be planned ♪ 1689 01:20:32,517 --> 01:20:35,865 ♪ The changing tides is what makes it true ♪ 1690 01:20:36,003 --> 01:20:38,557 ♪ Our love can not be planned ♪ 1691 01:20:38,903 --> 01:20:44,903 ♪ But know I always plan on loving y-o-o-o-ou ♪ 1692 01:20:48,878 --> 01:20:49,948 Yeah! 1693 01:20:54,884 --> 01:20:57,197 Thank you. 1694 01:20:57,335 --> 01:20:59,164 That's our new song. 1695 01:20:59,302 --> 01:21:01,408 It's called "Plan B." 1696 01:21:01,580 --> 01:21:05,653 Sometimes, the first plan doesn't always work out. 1697 01:21:05,791 --> 01:21:07,069 Hit it! 1698 01:21:07,207 --> 01:21:08,829 One, two, three, four! 1699 01:21:16,837 --> 01:21:19,219 Thank you guys for coming out tonight. 1700 01:21:19,357 --> 01:21:20,634 We're Deer in Headlights! 1701 01:21:24,327 --> 01:21:26,571 Evan, that was quite the performance. 1702 01:21:26,709 --> 01:21:30,023 Travis Boyer! That's incredible. 1703 01:21:30,161 --> 01:21:31,379 What are you... What are you doing here? 1704 01:21:31,403 --> 01:21:33,578 Piper invited me. 1705 01:21:35,925 --> 01:21:38,445 Wait, wait. Don't forget to take my card. 1706 01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:41,103 Yes, thank you. Thank you. 1707 01:21:41,241 --> 01:21:43,553 - My God. Thank you. - You guys were so good. 1708 01:21:43,691 --> 01:21:45,417 I...! 1709 01:21:53,770 --> 01:21:55,393 You're here, right now. 1710 01:21:55,531 --> 01:21:58,430 I mean, actually seeing you here and... and inviting Travis? 1711 01:21:58,568 --> 01:22:01,778 I mean, man, that's awesome. 1712 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,470 I'm so sorry. 1713 01:22:03,642 --> 01:22:05,748 I'm so sorry for ignoring you these... 1714 01:22:05,886 --> 01:22:07,923 I don't know. I was really confused at first 1715 01:22:08,061 --> 01:22:11,202 'cause I-I-I... I thought we used protection, you know? 1716 01:22:11,305 --> 01:22:12,789 We did, like, technically, yeah. 1717 01:22:12,962 --> 01:22:15,275 Then I-I-I went and checked all the condoms, 1718 01:22:15,413 --> 01:22:16,897 and they were like five years expired. 1719 01:22:17,035 --> 01:22:18,588 Old. Yeah. 1720 01:22:18,726 --> 01:22:20,797 That's... that's my bad, but that's on me. 1721 01:22:20,970 --> 01:22:22,316 That's on me. 1722 01:22:22,454 --> 01:22:25,492 But, no, I... I wanna be part of that. 1723 01:22:25,664 --> 01:22:31,664 I want... I want our kid to be ourkid. 1724 01:22:32,395 --> 01:22:34,811 Maybe we could give this a shot? 1725 01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:36,952 I say we give it a shot. 1726 01:22:37,090 --> 01:22:38,988 No. 1727 01:22:39,126 --> 01:22:40,990 No? Wh... 1728 01:22:41,163 --> 01:22:43,061 No. 1729 01:22:43,165 --> 01:22:45,339 - Piper? - No, no, no. 1730 01:22:45,477 --> 01:22:50,068 There's a leak in my underwear. 1731 01:22:50,172 --> 01:22:51,759 - So... - A wetness. 1732 01:22:51,863 --> 01:22:53,761 - Not in a hot way. - You need the bathroom? 1733 01:22:53,865 --> 01:22:56,281 No, this is disgusting. I think my water broke. 1734 01:22:56,419 --> 01:22:58,490 - My! N... - So very damp. 1735 01:22:58,628 --> 01:23:00,596 Water. Yeah. Hospital. 1736 01:23:00,699 --> 01:23:02,059 - Hospital. We... - Yeah, let's go. 1737 01:23:02,184 --> 01:23:03,185 - Right? Okay. - Okay. 1738 01:23:03,357 --> 01:23:04,669 Yeah. Okay. Everybody, move! 1739 01:23:04,841 --> 01:23:06,360 We're having a baby! 1740 01:23:06,533 --> 01:23:07,786 Fall out of my vagina onto the floor right now. 1741 01:23:07,810 --> 01:23:09,501 - I'm s... - I don't know. 1742 01:23:09,639 --> 01:23:11,341 - Breathing exercises. - Don't run into the doctor. 1743 01:23:11,365 --> 01:23:13,747 Hey, where's the baby delivery station? 1744 01:23:13,850 --> 01:23:15,473 - Hi. Hi. - Hi. 1745 01:23:15,611 --> 01:23:17,658 - You know where it is, okay. - I had them get the room ready. 1746 01:23:17,682 --> 01:23:19,097 Everything's okay. Alright. 1747 01:23:19,201 --> 01:23:20,561 - It's right his way. - Is it warm? 1748 01:23:20,650 --> 01:23:21,800 Yes, this is a state-of-the-art hospital. 1749 01:23:21,824 --> 01:23:23,308 - You're hot? - A little bit. 1750 01:23:23,446 --> 01:23:25,010 - I mean, I'm fine. - Alright, so just... 1751 01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:26,184 Can I get rid of the blanket? 1752 01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:27,554 Breathe, breathe. 1753 01:23:27,692 --> 01:23:29,252 What we talked about when were in there. 1754 01:23:29,349 --> 01:23:33,698 Just breathe in, breathe out until the baby's en route. 1755 01:23:33,836 --> 01:23:35,458 You're doing great. You're doing great. 1756 01:23:35,562 --> 01:23:37,805 Now is not the time to rhyme. 1757 01:23:37,909 --> 01:23:39,635 Breathe. Everything's looking really good. 1758 01:23:39,738 --> 01:23:41,878 We're getting really close, okay? 1759 01:23:42,017 --> 01:23:43,811 Okay, give me the ice. Yeah, ice chips. 1760 01:23:43,949 --> 01:23:47,056 Okay, Doc. 1761 01:23:47,194 --> 01:23:49,058 Doc, I think we're ready. 1762 01:23:49,231 --> 01:23:50,473 I'm not... I'm not hot! 1763 01:23:50,577 --> 01:23:52,234 Piper, are you ready to have a baby? 1764 01:23:54,822 --> 01:23:55,822 Okay. Alright. 1765 01:23:55,892 --> 01:23:57,722 Humming Dove. Humming Dove. 1766 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:02,554 Push on three, okay? 1767 01:24:02,692 --> 01:24:05,488 - You good? - One, two... three! 1768 01:24:05,592 --> 01:24:07,076 Push, push! You can do it! Push! 1769 01:24:07,249 --> 01:24:11,253 I'm shitting and it burns! I'm shitting and it burns! 1770 01:24:11,391 --> 01:24:12,978 It happens! Come on. 1771 01:24:13,082 --> 01:24:14,911 I'm gonna need another push on three, okay? 1772 01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:16,223 One more time, okay, Piper? 1773 01:24:16,361 --> 01:24:17,683 - No, no, no, no, no. - You can do it. 1774 01:24:17,707 --> 01:24:18,857 Yes, you can. Yes, you can, okay? 1775 01:24:18,881 --> 01:24:20,089 We're doing it. I'm so tired. 1776 01:24:20,227 --> 01:24:22,367 One, two, three. 1777 01:24:22,505 --> 01:24:24,507 Push! Push! 1778 01:24:24,611 --> 01:24:26,199 [Evan } Are you feeling it right now? 1779 01:24:26,337 --> 01:24:27,614 - Okay. - Push! 1780 01:24:27,752 --> 01:24:30,617 Come on! Yes! I'm seeing hair. 1781 01:24:30,789 --> 01:24:32,412 - You're seeing... - No, don't look! 1782 01:24:32,550 --> 01:24:33,830 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1783 01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:35,449 Get back out if you're not a doctor. 1784 01:24:35,622 --> 01:24:38,176 - It called to me, alright? - You're not a doctor! 1785 01:24:38,280 --> 01:24:40,523 - I know. - Aah! 1786 01:24:41,869 --> 01:24:43,423 - One, two... - Are we pushing? 1787 01:24:43,561 --> 01:24:45,528 - Are we pushing right now? - Three. Push! 1788 01:24:45,632 --> 01:24:47,047 You got one more in you. 1789 01:24:47,185 --> 01:24:48,290 - Ready? - Okay? 1790 01:24:48,462 --> 01:24:51,258 One, two, three. 1791 01:24:51,431 --> 01:24:53,018 Push! 1792 01:24:56,436 --> 01:24:57,885 It's a girl. 1793 01:24:58,023 --> 01:24:59,128 Ha! It's a girl! 1794 01:25:01,958 --> 01:25:03,581 You did it. You did it. 1795 01:25:03,719 --> 01:25:06,308 It's over. It's over. You did it. 1796 01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:08,310 - My God. - We did it. 1797 01:25:08,448 --> 01:25:10,381 - It was mostly you. - Okay. 1798 01:25:10,484 --> 01:25:12,417 You did so good. 1799 01:25:12,555 --> 01:25:15,248 You're a lucky man, Mr. Brennan. 1800 01:25:15,386 --> 01:25:16,666 I... I'm... I'm Mr. Ebert. I'm... 1801 01:25:16,835 --> 01:25:18,216 Well, we're... we're not together. 1802 01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:20,736 No, we are. 1803 01:25:30,159 --> 01:25:31,333 - Yeah. - Are you chilly? 1804 01:25:31,505 --> 01:25:32,817 Right. 1805 01:25:32,989 --> 01:25:37,270 Here. Here. I made this for her. 1806 01:25:37,408 --> 01:25:40,238 There you go. There you go. 1807 01:25:40,342 --> 01:25:41,964 - You made that? - Like that? 1808 01:25:42,102 --> 01:25:46,071 Yeah, well, I... when I found out she was mine, 1809 01:25:46,175 --> 01:25:48,281 I... I got right to work. 1810 01:25:52,354 --> 01:25:57,290 That is really sweet. 1811 01:25:57,428 --> 01:25:58,705 What should we name her? 1812 01:25:58,843 --> 01:26:00,672 The top of the list was Thom Yorke. 1813 01:26:00,810 --> 01:26:01,925 I mean, I like Thom Yorke, but... 1814 01:26:01,949 --> 01:26:03,330 Maybe Yorke? No? 1815 01:26:03,468 --> 01:26:05,677 What about Myrtle? 1816 01:26:05,815 --> 01:26:07,472 I love... I love old-fashioned names. 1817 01:26:07,610 --> 01:26:08,922 Okay, keep going, keep going. 1818 01:26:09,025 --> 01:26:11,649 Cleopatra? Is that too much? 1819 01:26:11,787 --> 01:26:13,858 Maybe Cleo. Maybe we shorten it to Cleo. 1820 01:26:14,030 --> 01:26:15,860 That's just fresh. 1821 01:26:15,998 --> 01:26:18,656 How do we... I see... Pat. 1822 01:26:18,794 --> 01:26:21,659 For Cleopatra. That's okay.