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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎快跑…

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‎看吧，問題都解決了

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‎我也想當字母

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‎劇名：新小鬼當家

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‎家教怎麼樣？現在體育課能及格嗎？

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‎天啊，又有朋友變成噁心的白頭殭屍

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‎每次要殺朋友都讓我很痛苦

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‎嗨，麥斯

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‎我沒聽到你走進來

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‎詹姆斯，你還好吧？

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‎我一定是在夢遊

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‎麥斯，都是學校啦，學校快害死我了

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‎語言藝術、音樂
‎歷史、代數、代數史

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‎報告、功課、分組作業、體育、家教

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‎我這個頭形完美的腦袋
‎現在只能聽到學校鐘聲

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‎我知道怎麼回事了，你有幼年危機

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‎幼年危機？

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‎你看到什麼？

20
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‎這是大象嗎？

21
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‎你看到大象？

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‎那代表你壓力太大

23
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‎或者是變態殺人狂

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‎反正你都需要休息

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‎休個假、讓人做個指甲

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‎麥斯，不行，我沒有腳趾

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‎好可愛

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‎不過我的確需要休假

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‎但何時才能休假？

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‎我是小孩，沒辦法掌握自己的生活

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‎你最好在瘋掉前找時間休假

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‎不然你只要記得

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‎如果你變成殭屍

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‎壁爐旁都有火鉗

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‎要放哪裡？就…這裡吧

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‎好

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‎爸媽！我睡過頭了

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‎你們要送我上學
‎不然我遲到會被恥笑

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‎大家會瞪著我，好像我是遲到怪獸

40
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‎等一下，你們不能丟下我！

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‎他們忘了我

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‎我一定會遲到的

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‎除非我不上學

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‎那就只會曠課

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‎我不能曠課，還是可以？

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‎是他們丟下我的
‎不是我的錯，是他們的

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‎自由意志就是這種感覺嗎？
‎我為什麼自言自語？

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‎對喔，因為我一個人在家

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‎沒人會聽到我講奇怪的話

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‎而且誰都管不了我

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‎我今天要請假不上學！

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‎首先，我要穿我爸的名貴西裝打電動

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‎然後我要玩室內雪橇

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‎然後把淋滿楓糖漿的煎餅

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‎蓋成房子後吃掉

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‎然後在室內丟馬蹄鐵

57
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‎然後到我爸媽臥室

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‎在那個我不准動的抽屜裡尋寶

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‎上學的相反人生正式開始吧！

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‎第一天休假，好緊張喔

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‎好，先開始打電動的第一步

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‎這可能是我第一次打電動

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‎沒被人打擾

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‎外面有人

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‎也許沒人應門，他們就會走了

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‎外面的人不肯走！

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‎先生，早安，今天天氣很好吧？

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‎我是拜倫蕭壽原

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‎要來告訴你一個好消息

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‎向您推薦市面上
‎功能最強的居家保全系統

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‎你是挨家挨戶推銷的業務員
‎而且你剛好就叫蕭壽原？

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‎沒錯

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‎這也太故意了吧？

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‎其實我以前叫“涂翡”，後來才改名的

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‎算你聰明

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‎這個家是買的還是租的？

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‎我住這裡是因為生下我的大人恩賜

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‎所以是國宅，太好了

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‎快來看這份傳單…

80
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‎可惜看傳單需要讀太多字

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‎太像上學了

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‎我今天休假

83
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‎而且我不想讓你進來

84
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‎那很好

85
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‎因為闖門剋星3000最適合用來

86
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‎趕走討厭的客人

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‎我寧願用傳統方法

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‎這個嘛

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‎這個顧客很難搞

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‎不過我是很難搞的銷售員

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‎現在該好好運用樓梯了

92
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‎又見面了

93
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‎請別妨礙我的樂趣

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‎讓你滑不成雪橇的不是我，是摩擦力

95
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‎老師都有說

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‎除非有反作用力
‎否則運動中的物體會保持運動狀態

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‎我本來不知道，現在知道了

98
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‎活到老，學到老

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‎學？喂！

100
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‎別在我休假時教我東西！

101
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‎餓餓，可是午餐時間還沒到

102
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‎等一下，我不在學校

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‎隨時都能吃東西

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‎煎餅屋

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‎隨時都能吃早餐

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‎現在該用好幾盤加工麵粉填飽肚子了

107
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‎還要淋上厚厚一層美味的楓樹甜漿

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‎好吃

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‎留一點給我

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‎你這傢伙！

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‎對，正是在下
‎如果你有闖門剋星3000

112
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‎我就絕對無法越雷池一步

113
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‎本系統不但能驅除有害動物

114
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‎而且內建太陽能板，馬上能回本

115
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‎其實太陽能板需要20年才能回本

116
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‎如果考量到人口增加
‎和這些人消耗的資源

117
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‎導致臭氧層破洞

118
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‎乘以牛放屁產生的甲烷

119
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‎我很確定地球和人類到時早就完蛋了

120
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‎先生，我的數學比不上你

121
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‎一點也沒錯

122
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‎等等，你剛剛提到數學？

123
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‎你剛剛害我在休假時算數學！

124
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‎給我出去！噓！

125
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‎我的煎餅！

126
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‎不確定這些煎餅有沒有結構問題

127
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‎別再毀了我的假期了！

128
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‎先生，早安

129
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‎有不速之客老是出現在你家門口嗎？

130
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‎有！出現個不停！就是你！

131
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‎太好了，那我有不容你錯過的好康

132
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‎只要購買闖門剋星3000

133
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‎不但住家更安全

134
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‎還能得到心靈滿足
‎因為資本主義的巨輪

135
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‎有你這麼好騙的推動力量

136
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‎我什麼也不會買的

137
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‎我喜歡挑戰，來吧

138
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‎好！看誰先認輸

139
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‎開工了

140
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‎也就是閃邊時間到了

141
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‎請進！

142
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‎先生，你在家嗎？

143
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‎我是蕭壽原先生

144
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‎慘了

145
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‎誰叫你在我休假時逼我做科學實驗？

146
00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:11,375
‎全世界最強的馬蹄鐵投擲手現在上場

147
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‎他就位、眨眼睛

148
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‎再眨眼睛

149
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:19,583
‎眨第三次眼睛

150
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‎深呼吸

151
00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:23,666
‎跨步，然後…

152
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,666
‎竟然害我在休假時工作！

153
00:09:33,416 --> 00:09:35,083
‎其實闖門剋星3000

154
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‎也能驅趕上門的推銷員

155
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‎沒有火鉗好用

156
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‎我就自己進去了

157
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‎天啊

158
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‎哇，真夠力

159
00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:06,541
‎捷克標槍名將澤萊茲尼在1997年
‎打破紀錄後，我就沒看過這種勁道

160
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:10,875
‎其實是1996年，奧運百年紀念

161
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‎奧運每四年舉辦一次

162
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‎如果從1896年的第一屆奧運算起…

163
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:20,750
‎不行！你剛剛害我
‎做體育、數學和歷史作業

164
00:10:23,166 --> 00:10:25,625
‎願主保佑這個孩子

165
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,375
‎好，蕭壽原，你贏了

166
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:31,750
‎你可以安裝闖門剋星3000了

167
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,125
‎先生，你太幸運了

168
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:37,791
‎我剛來這裡幾分鐘
‎就已經擅自安裝完成了

169
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,750
‎請在虛線上簽字

170
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,250
‎雖然沒有虛線，不過大家都這樣說

171
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,916
‎所以我也學他們

172
00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:55,791
‎這個東西到底怎麼用？

173
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,291
‎非常簡單

174
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,833
‎闖門剋星完全以聲音控制

175
00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:02,708
‎真的嗎？

176
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:06,041
‎闖門剋星，把我家的所有客人都趕走

177
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:07,458
‎先生，好可惜

178
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,791
‎但我把聲控功能設定成法語

179
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,541
‎免得你在付款前偷用

180
00:11:12,625 --> 00:11:14,375
‎法語？

181
00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:22,416
‎你會講法語？

182
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,833
‎是的，這位先生

183
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:27,041
‎闖門剋星，有人闖入！開火！

184
00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:32,625
‎快關掉！拜託，先生…

185
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,958
‎我有一家老小，全都是小小銷售員

186
00:11:37,541 --> 00:11:38,666
‎總算

187
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,875
‎你逼我運用外語課學的東西

188
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:48,083
‎好，至少我總算能開始休假了

189
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,666
‎先生，歡迎回家

190
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,291
‎喜歡全新的闖門剋星3000嗎？

191
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:55,041
‎你怎麼在我家？

192
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:58,583
‎-你是說我家嗎？
‎-什麼？

193
00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:04,000
‎你今天沒做的功課
‎就是閱讀合約上的小字

194
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:09,125
‎簽約就代表你同意用房子代替付款

195
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:10,208
‎什麼？

196
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:14,666
‎我說我是業務員時
‎你就應該知道我是社會寄生蟲

197
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:18,250
‎所以我要你馬上離開我家

198
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:19,708
‎我才不走

199
00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:23,666
‎那我只好把你當成入侵者了

200
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:31,041
‎有人入侵，開火…

201
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:36,041
‎今天我休假，我不會…

202
00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:39,458
‎好！你要我發揮所學？我就發揮所學

203
00:12:41,958 --> 00:12:43,083
‎電腦科學！

204
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:45,833
‎我要用筆記型電腦消滅你的攝影機

205
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:50,791
‎糟糕

206
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:59,500
‎我…

207
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,500
‎先生，你得加油了

208
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:16,083
‎我正有此意

209
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,583
‎我要摧毀你的主控台

210
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:21,541
‎先生，說得比做的容易

211
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,291
‎音樂課

212
00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,208
‎我的耳朵

213
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:37,166
‎體育課

214
00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:44,041
‎數學課！一、二、三、四、六

215
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:54,291
‎理化課，反射吧！

216
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,375
‎我會的

217
00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:02,375
‎抱歉，別動

218
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:06,958
‎現在是今天的最後一課

219
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:07,875
‎歷史課

220
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,041
‎歷史課？

221
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:10,125
‎對

222
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:13,833
‎因為你要成為歷史了

223
00:14:14,791 --> 00:14:16,583
‎我有在你的歷史課本上？

224
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:18,583
‎我懂了

225
00:14:24,541 --> 00:14:26,708
‎學到教訓了吧？

226
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,791
‎麥斯說對了，火鉗真的有幾百種用途

227
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:33,916
‎今天休假真難玩

228
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,458
‎既然蕭壽原走了

229
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,500
‎至少我能看看爸媽的神秘抽屜…

230
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:39,666
‎詹姆斯？

231
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:50,166
‎看來我沒辦法知道自己姓什麼了

232
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,000
‎我們怎麼有這種東西？

233
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,708
‎我們又沒有壁爐

234
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:57,583
‎你做了什麼好事？

235
00:14:57,666 --> 00:15:00,875
‎我做了什麼好事？
‎妳以為我做了什麼？

236
00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:03,583
‎你們在上學日跑去上班，把我丟在家

237
00:15:03,666 --> 00:15:05,541
‎所以我休了早就該休的假

238
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:09,166
‎總算要享受我一直沒享受到的樂趣

239
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,666
‎但終究還是沒辦法！

240
00:15:13,208 --> 00:15:15,166
‎兒子，今天是星期六

241
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:24,208
‎真慘，現在還得運用家政課學的東西

242
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,583
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺

243
00:15:54,666 --> 00:15:56,041
‎這個嘛