1 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:16,833 Go, go, go, go, go. 2 00:00:19,291 --> 00:00:21,208 See, everything worked out. 3 00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:26,958 Aw, I wanna be a letter. 4 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,250 How was tutoring, buddy-o? 5 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,791 You think you can pass PE now-- 6 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:50,666 Oh, no! Another friend has become a hideous, pale-headed zombie! 7 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,916 It never gets any easier taking out a friend. 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,166 Hey, Max. 9 00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,416 I didn't hear you come in. 10 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,375 James, you okay, man? 11 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,583 I must have been sleepwalking. 12 00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:07,125 It's school, Max. It's literally killing me! 13 00:01:07,208 --> 00:01:10,083 Language arts, music, history, algebra, 14 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,458 the history of algebra, 15 00:01:11,541 --> 00:01:15,666 term papers, homework, class projects, PE, tutoring. 16 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:19,541 All I hear is that school bell ringing, ringing, ringing 17 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:22,583 in my perfectly-shaped head. 18 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,125 I see what's happening here. 19 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:26,750 You're having a kid-life crisis. 20 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,291 A kid-life crisis? 21 00:01:28,375 --> 00:01:29,416 Mm-hmm. 22 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,666 What do you see here? 23 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,375 Is that an elephant? 24 00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:37,708 You see an elephant?! That means you are stressed. 25 00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:39,083 Or a homicidal maniac. 26 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,250 Either way, you need a "you day". 27 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,250 Take some time off, get a pedicure. 28 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,583 I can't, Max. I don't have any toes. 29 00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:49,708 Aww! So cute. 30 00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:51,916 But I could use a "me" day. 31 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,291 But when is that ever going to happen? 32 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,291 I'm a kid. I have no control over my existence. 33 00:01:57,375 --> 00:01:59,750 Well, you better find the time before you lose it. 34 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,708 And if you don't, you just remember-- 35 00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:07,208 old pokey's right there by the fireplace in case you turn into a zombie. 36 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,458 Where to put this? 37 00:02:08,541 --> 00:02:10,083 And... here. 38 00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,041 Mom! Dad! I woke up late. 39 00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:33,541 You gotta drive me, or I'll have to do the Late Kid Walk of Shame 40 00:02:33,625 --> 00:02:36,208 and everyone will stare at me like I'm some tardy monster. 41 00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:42,208 Wait, you can't leave me! 42 00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:44,708 Woah! 43 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:49,666 Oh, they forgot me. Now I'm gonna be late. 44 00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:53,750 Unless, I don't go. Then, I'll just be absent. 45 00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:56,625 But, no. I can't do that. Can I? 46 00:02:56,708 --> 00:03:00,083 I mean, they left me, so it's not my fault. 47 00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:01,208 It's their fault. 48 00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,750 Is this what free will feels like? 49 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:06,250 Why am I talking to myself? Oh, right. 50 00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,791 Because I'm home alone and no one can hear how weird I sound. 51 00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:10,541 And no one can tell me what to do. 52 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,916 I'm taking the day off of school! 53 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,541 Whoo! 54 00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:20,333 Whoo! 55 00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:21,500 Whoo! 56 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:22,583 Wee! 57 00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:28,833 First, I'm going to play video games in my dad's expensive suit. 58 00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:31,333 Then, I'll ride a toboggan inside. 59 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:33,416 Then, I'm gonna build and eat a house 60 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,750 made entirely out of skedaddle-laced pancakes 61 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:38,125 Then, I'll throw horseshoes indoors. 62 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:40,750 Then, I'll go through that dresser drawer in my parents bedroom 63 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,541 that I'm never allowed to look into. 64 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,916 Let the opposite of school begin! 65 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:56,208 Ah, my first day off. Oh, I'm so nervous. 66 00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:58,583 Okay, just got to make the first move... 67 00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:00,583 in this video game. 68 00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:04,541 This might be the first game I've ever played without any interruptions. 69 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:07,541 -Outside people! 70 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,541 Maybe if I just ignore them, they'll go away. 71 00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:15,958 -Outside people who won't go away! 72 00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:24,041 Hmph! 73 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,500 Good morning, sir. Beautiful day, is it not? 74 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:32,500 I'm Byron Sellers, and I'm here to share the good news 75 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:36,958 about the most amazing home security system money can buy. 76 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,833 So, you're a door-to-door sales dude, and your name is Sellers? 77 00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:43,708 Mm-hmm, you bet. 78 00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:46,416 Isn't that a little on the nose? 79 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:50,375 Well, my name used to be Robin Yew, but I changed it. 80 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,208 -Good move. -Do you own or rent, sir? 81 00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:56,375 I'm allowed to live here by the grace of the overlords who gave birth to me. 82 00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,208 So, government housing. Okay, splendid. 83 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,166 Check out this brochure about the-- 84 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:05,250 Uh, unfortunately reading brochures is too much like reading, 85 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:08,291 which is too much like school and it's my day off. 86 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,666 Also, I don't want you here. 87 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:13,458 Well, good because the Break-In Buster 3000 88 00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:16,416 is the best way to get rid of unwanted guests. 89 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,166 I prefer a more retro approach. 90 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:23,541 Well, well, well. That is one tough customer, 91 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:26,000 but I'm a tough seller. 92 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,041 Time to put these stairs to their proper use. 93 00:05:44,916 --> 00:05:45,875 Huh? 94 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,291 Greetings again. 95 00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:52,166 Please stop stopping my fun. 96 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:55,333 Wasn't me who stopped your sledding. It was friction. 97 00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:56,625 You know what they say: 98 00:05:56,708 --> 00:06:00,250 an object in motion will stay in motion until an opposing force stops it. 99 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,541 Huh, I didn't know that, but now I do. 100 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:05,541 Well, you learn something new everyday. 101 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Learning? Hey! No teaching me on my day off! 102 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,875 Oh, hungy. But it's not lunchtime yet. 103 00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:21,041 Wait a minute. I'm not at school. I can eat anytime I want. 104 00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:23,458 Oh, Pancake House. 105 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:30,666 Ah, brekkie anytime I want. 106 00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:35,625 Time to fill my belly with disks of processed white flour, 107 00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:38,791 smothered in thick, delicious maple tree sweat. 108 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,291 -Ahhh. -Yum! 109 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:45,208 Save some for me. 110 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:47,625 -You! 111 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,541 Yes, sir. Me, sir. 112 00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:51,666 I could never have penetrated your perimeter 113 00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:54,666 if you owned a Break-In Buster 3000. 114 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,833 It not only keeps out unwanted pests, 115 00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:01,500 it also features built-in solar panels that will soon pay for themselves. 116 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:07,208 Actually, it would take 20 years for solar panels to pay for themselves. 117 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,416 And factoring in the decay of the ozone layer 118 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,750 over the increase in population and the resources to feed them, 119 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,791 times the methane produced by cow toots, 120 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:18,250 and I'm pretty sure the planet and humanity will be toast by then. 121 00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,916 Eh, can't argue with your math, sir. 122 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,458 No, you can't. 123 00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:24,666 Wait. Did you just say math? 124 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,916 You just made me do math on my day off. 125 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,666 Get out of here! Go! Shoo, shoo! 126 00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:34,583 My pancakes! 127 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:40,125 Not sure these pancakes are structurally sound. 128 00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:44,958 Stop ruining my day off! 129 00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:50,083 Good morning, sir. 130 00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:54,416 Do you have unwanted visitors relentlessly showing up to your house? 131 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:57,708 Yes! All the time! You! 132 00:07:57,791 --> 00:08:01,708 Well, how about that? Then I have a deal you can't pass up. 133 00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:04,583 With a purchase of a Break-In Buster 3000, 134 00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:08,541 you'll not only get a safer home, you'll get the satisfaction of knowing 135 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:13,375 you've greased the wheels of capitalism with a lubricant called gullibility. 136 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:17,000 I'm. Not. Buying. Anything. 137 00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:19,458 I love a challenge. Bring it! 138 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,458 Fine! We'll see who breaks first. 139 00:08:27,958 --> 00:08:29,375 It's go time. 140 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,875 Go away time, that is. 141 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:35,666 Come in! 142 00:08:42,291 --> 00:08:45,375 Oh, sir. Are you there? 143 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,000 It's Mr. Sellers. 144 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,250 Yikes. 145 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:02,875 That's for making me do science on my day off! 146 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:11,375 And now, the world's greatest indoor horseshoe thrower steps to the line. 147 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,500 He sets, blinks. 148 00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,000 Blinks again. 149 00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:20,625 Blinks a third time, takes a deep breath... 150 00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,666 steps, and... 151 00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:29,666 Making me work on my day off! 152 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,333 Uh-oh. 153 00:09:33,416 --> 00:09:37,666 You know that Break in Buster 3000 can also help disperse unwanted solicitors. 154 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,250 Not as good as pokey. 155 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,666 Ah! 156 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,708 Ha! 157 00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:51,541 Oh. 158 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:54,291 -I'll just let myself in. 159 00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,250 Oh, man. 160 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,458 Wow, quite an attempt. 161 00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:03,000 I haven't seen a throw like that 162 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:06,541 since Jan Zelezny set the record in 1997. 163 00:10:06,958 --> 00:10:10,875 Actually, it was 1996, the hundred year anniversary. 164 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,708 Olympics are every four years. 165 00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:16,500 So, if you calculate that from the first Olympics in 1896-- 166 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,666 No! You just made me do PE, math, and history. 167 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:25,625 -Aww, bless his little heart. 168 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,458 All right, Sellers, you win. 169 00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:31,750 You can set up the Break-In Buster 3000. 170 00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,083 You're in luck, sir. 171 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:38,208 I took the liberty of installing it a few minutes after I first got here. 172 00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,958 If you'll just sign on the dotted line, 173 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,208 which isn't really dotted, but that's what people say, 174 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,875 so I'm saying it too. 175 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:55,791 So, how's this thing work anyway? 176 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,291 Oh, it's simple pimple. 177 00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,833 The Break-In Buster is entirely voice-activated. 178 00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:02,666 Oh, really? 179 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:06,041 Break-In Buster, keep all visitors away from my house. 180 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:09,875 Nice, try sir, but I set the voice controls to French 181 00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:12,541 to prevent you from using it before payment. 182 00:11:12,625 --> 00:11:14,375 French, huh? 183 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:15,916 Very good Break-in-Buster! 184 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,458 Keep all unwanted visitors away from my house! 185 00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:22,416 You-- You speak French? 186 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,916 Yes, sir. 187 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,041 Break-in-Buster-- Intruder! Shoot to Kill! 188 00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:32,750 Turn it off! Please, sir, sir, please, please. 189 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:36,125 I have a family. A family of tiny salesmen. 190 00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:39,000 Enfin. 191 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:42,333 You made me use language lessons. 192 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:48,125 Well, at least I can finally get on with my day off. 193 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,708 -Welcome home, sir. 194 00:11:49,791 --> 00:11:53,291 How are you enjoying your new Break-In Buster 3000? 195 00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:55,000 What are you doing in my house? 196 00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:58,583 -You mean my house? -What?! 197 00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:03,625 One subject you didn't do today was reading the fine print. 198 00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,333 By signing the contract, 199 00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:09,125 you agree for me to take your house in lieu of payment. 200 00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:11,875 -What? -When I said I was a Salesman, 201 00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:14,708 you should have known I was a parasite. 202 00:12:14,791 --> 00:12:18,333 So, I'm gonna need you to leave my house now. 203 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:19,708 I'm not going anywhere. 204 00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:23,416 Then I'm afraid that makes you a trespasser. 205 00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:31,250 Intrusion. Shoot to kill! Intrusion. Shoot to kill! 206 00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:37,166 It's my day off. I won't... fine! 207 00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,541 You want me to school? I'll school! 208 00:12:41,958 --> 00:12:43,125 Computer science! 209 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,833 I'll use my laptop to take out your cameras. 210 00:12:48,291 --> 00:12:49,750 -Pew, pew, pew, pew. 211 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,583 Oh, no. Pew, pew, pew, pew. 212 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,875 -Yikes! 213 00:12:57,291 --> 00:13:01,250 Ho... ly... sh... 214 00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,458 Ow, ow, ow. 215 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,416 You'll have to up your game, sir. 216 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,083 Well, I intend to. 217 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,583 I'm gonna take out your master control panel. 218 00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:21,541 Easier said than done, sir. 219 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,958 Ah! 220 00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:26,125 A-ha! 221 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,708 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew... 222 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,916 Music class! 223 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,958 -Ah, my ears! 224 00:13:35,083 --> 00:13:36,958 Gym class! 225 00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,541 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 226 00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:44,041 Math class! 1, 2, 3, 4, 6. 227 00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:54,291 Science class. Reflect on this! 228 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,833 I will. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 229 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:02,375 -Sorry! Hold still! 230 00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,791 And now, the last class of the day... 231 00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:07,916 history! 232 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,125 -History? -Yep. 233 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,708 'Cause that's what you are now. 234 00:14:14,791 --> 00:14:16,625 You learned about me in history? 235 00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:18,583 Oh, I get it. 236 00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,375 Wow, wow, wow, wow. 237 00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,791 You just got schooled. 238 00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:28,416 Heh, Max was right. 239 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,208 There really are a thousand uses for the fire poker. 240 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,916 Ugh, this day off sucked! 241 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,208 Well, with Sellers gone at least I can 242 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:38,458 go look at my parents' mystery drawer before they-- 243 00:14:38,541 --> 00:14:39,666 James? 244 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:50,166 Ugh, I guess I won't learn what my last name is after all. 245 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:55,750 Why do we even have this? We don't have a fireplace. 246 00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:57,625 What have you done? 247 00:14:57,708 --> 00:15:00,875 What have I done? What do you think I've done?! 248 00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:03,583 You went to work and left me alone on a school day, 249 00:15:03,666 --> 00:15:05,500 so I took a long-overdue break 250 00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:09,208 to finally do all the fun stuff I never ever get to do! 251 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,708 And I still didn't get to do any of it! 252 00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:15,708 Son, it's Saturday. 253 00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:24,625 Great. Now I have to do Home Ec, too?