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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎快跑…

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‎看吧，問題都解決了

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‎我也想當字母

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‎劇名：捐血逃課

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‎（泥巴學校）

7
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‎你們看看自己！腿都跟嬰兒一樣無力

8
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‎但你們不是嬰兒吧？

9
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‎所以深蹲博士要開出

10
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‎她唯一認可的藥方：深蹲！

11
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‎深蹲能改變你們的腿、臀肌和人生！

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‎深蹲真的好神奇

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‎所以今天我們從青蛙式深蹲開始

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‎生活、歡笑、深蹲！

15
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‎還要青蛙式深蹲？

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‎對啊，我知道，青蛙超爛的

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‎深蹲不會“改變”我們的人生

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‎真的嗎？

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‎不會，所以體育課根本是浪費時間

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‎深蹲對日常生活一點價值都沒有

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‎既不能縮短乳酪通心粉的微波時間

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‎也不能在無線網路掛點時恢復連線

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‎不行，真實世界裡不會有人

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‎需要做青蛙式深蹲

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‎你！

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‎你要把青蛙式深蹲用在真實世界嗎？

27
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‎青蛙式深蹲十個去！

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‎喔，我不行

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‎我的醫生說我有青蛙不耐症

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‎我一想到青蛙就會腫得跟氣球一樣

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‎糟糕，我想到青蛙，該回家了

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‎你這個症狀只需要一種處方…

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‎青蛙式深蹲

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‎好，各位同學

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‎深蹲博士發現今天是捐血日

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‎願意捐血的人就不必上體育課

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‎不必上體育課？

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‎所以各位必須選擇

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‎要留在這裡學會神奇的深蹲生活技能

40
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‎還是當個英雄

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‎我知道我會怎麼選

42
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‎-怎麼樣？
‎-超棒的

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‎首先我坐在躺椅上

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‎然後護士稱讚我的血管很粗

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‎從來都沒人注意過

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‎我睡了一下覺，他們說是昏倒

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‎然後拿到餅乾

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‎太棒了

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‎對，比沒用的青蛙式深蹲好多了

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‎怎樣？體育課

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‎可是每天都有體育課

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‎那我知道該怎麼做了

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‎（3月4日、5日）

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‎（詹姆斯）

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‎（3月）

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‎（O型陽性，詹姆斯）

57
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‎（O型陽性，詹姆斯）

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‎抱歉，我沒準時參加冰淇淋聚會

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‎不過我要櫻桃口味

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‎先生抱歉，冰淇淋聚會是私人活動

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‎讓我和兩個冤大頭請我吃冰淇淋

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‎是我啊…

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‎是我啊，詹姆斯，其中一個冤大頭

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‎詹姆斯，真的是你？

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‎詹姆斯？

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‎真的是你耶

67
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‎你怎麼搞的？

68
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‎我們應該要一起變老的！

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‎我為了不上體育課，這禮拜每天

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‎都在捐血

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‎可是你就像扁掉的氣球

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‎等一下，氣球會流血嗎？

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‎總共75美元

74
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‎能給我們三支湯匙嗎？

75
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‎抱歉，先生，剛剛沒看到你
‎我馬上給你長者優惠價

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‎總共2美元

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‎這是護頸枕和一杯溫開水

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‎以免你吃太冰頭痛

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‎那就2元吧

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‎什麼？

81
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‎你們知道這代表什麼意義嗎？

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‎你能在退休基金期滿前提領出來？

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‎不對，這代表捐血和體育課不一樣

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‎真的有現實生活的實際用途…

85
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‎長者優惠！

86
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‎所以我能把泥巴鎮的古代食物吃透透

87
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‎就跟蝗蟲過境一樣

88
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‎我們開始美食巡禮吧

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‎（冰沙，馬上試試）

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‎（完全正常價格）

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‎（小計：70，優惠：60）

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‎（總價，長者）

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‎不必做青蛙式深蹲，又能有老人優惠

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‎捐血還有什麼不好的？

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‎少講話，多走路，乾扁仔

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‎貝果碉堡的長者優惠可不會自己打折

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‎各位，我的小腿缺血

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‎各位

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‎對不起，長者先生

100
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‎我能扶你過馬路
‎以便拿到敬老尊賢徽章嗎？

101
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‎好啊，謝謝

102
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‎他答應了，上啊…

103
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‎讚啦！

104
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‎我總算拿到阿公蒐集徽章了

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‎不對，等一下，你搞錯了！

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‎這是一場誤會，我其實不是…

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‎冰沙？

108
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‎午覺？

109
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‎軟軟的乳酪？

110
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‎帶走我吧，年輕人

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‎詹姆斯？不對

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‎詹姆斯？非也

113
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‎詹姆斯？不對！

114
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‎我的青春

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‎麥斯、艾可？

116
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‎詹姆斯！

117
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‎你在這裡

118
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‎我剛才得花原價1.5美元買熱狗

119
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‎他們把你怎麼了？

120
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‎你好悠閒，詹姆斯不是這種人

121
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‎如果你被挾持了，就正常眨眼！

122
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‎我沒事，麥斯，我好得很

123
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‎我退休了

124
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‎退什麼休？

125
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‎我再也不必上毫無實際用處的爛科目

126
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‎這台全新的音控代步車就很有用

127
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‎代步車，幫我導覽

128
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‎在這裡

129
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‎再也不必理會愚蠢的體育課、統計課

130
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‎或老師騙你說很重要
‎但其實不重要的其他科目

131
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‎真的，麥斯，隨便講一個科目

132
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‎幾何學

133
00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,375
‎幾…何必要學？

134
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‎你在這裡要懂的數學

135
00:08:09,416 --> 00:08:13,416
‎就只有一份果凍加兩份果凍
‎等於大家一起嗨翻天

136
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‎而且添加維他命

137
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‎賓果時間到了

138
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‎說到試吃新的食物
‎有什麼折扣比免費還要低？

139
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‎玩賓果遊戲時
‎獎品是老人才知道的無名糖果

140
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‎好，各位孩子冷靜下來
‎我們來玩賓果遊戲吧

141
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‎N-31

142
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‎賓果，給我零食

143
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‎不可能，才第一顆球而已！

144
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‎噓！

145
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:14,333
‎好，我們繼續玩，下個數字是…

146
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‎-賓果！
‎-賓果，我賓果了！

147
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‎噓！

148
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,208
‎詹姆斯，你都假裝成老人了

149
00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,583
‎那要住這裡嗎？

150
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,541
‎對，麥斯

151
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:30,708
‎我要過著沒有體育課
‎也沒有其他無用課程的完美生活

152
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‎就在這裡

153
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‎麥斯？我認識那隻鱷魚，不可能吧！

154
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,875
‎他們的眼睛，我看過他們的眼睛！

155
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‎真的是你！

156
00:09:52,791 --> 00:09:54,958
‎抱歉，我認識你嗎？

157
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,500
‎“癢蔥”！

158
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:01,583
‎誰？

159
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,250
‎滑溜傑森？

160
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‎賓果

161
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‎噓！

162
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,583
‎你怎麼在這裡？

163
00:10:20,666 --> 00:10:22,416
‎我來這裡都是因為你

164
00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:27,500
‎自從你揭發我作弊後，我成為邊緣人

165
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:31,541
‎無處可去，沒有洋蔥可哭

166
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:32,916
‎但是我跟你一樣

167
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:37,000
‎發現只要捐血，就能有全新身分！

168
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,166
‎我成了…

169
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:42,583
‎皺紋傑森！

170
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:44,875
‎我也找到能發揮的新舞台

171
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:48,000
‎現在報仇的時刻到了

172
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:52,375
‎你曾經毀了我的人生
‎現在我要毀了你的人生

173
00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:55,166
‎只要血庫知道你濫用他們的制度

174
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,833
‎就會禁止你捐血

175
00:10:56,916 --> 00:11:00,416
‎-不行
‎-所以你就不會老態龍鍾

176
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,208
‎我能報仇雪恨了！

177
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,583
‎你檢舉我，我也檢舉你

178
00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:12,416
‎我打斷你跟嬰兒一樣的皺皮腿就行了

179
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:14,291
‎我們是一對三

180
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:17,666
‎雖然我不算數學，但我喜歡人數優勢

181
00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:26,875
‎探親時間已經正式結束

182
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:31,000
‎所有小伙子都給我出去！

183
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,166
‎再見，詹姆斯！

184
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,958
‎-賓果…
‎-噓！

185
00:11:41,125 --> 00:11:44,750
‎住客可以在即將開始的打架期間

186
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:46,750
‎享受戶外活動

187
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:50,125
‎也可以留在室內下注！

188
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:54,000
‎我用12顆軟糖賭那個扁掉的氣球贏

189
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:56,166
‎我在哪裡？

190
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,375
‎糟糕，我們非幫詹姆斯不可！

191
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,291
‎他雖然白目，但也不會打架

192
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:35,125
‎他們一定能搞定的

193
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:38,333
‎好，誰有不肖的孫子

194
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,875
‎而且希望今天受到尊重對待的？

195
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,958
‎好，軟糖時間一分鐘，誰先？

196
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:56,666
‎我的背！

197
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,166
‎滑溜…

198
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,500
‎皺紋…

199
00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:27,000
‎你沒戲唱了，傑森

200
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,916
‎看來你可以選擇

201
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,666
‎你可以選擇檢舉我
‎也可以選擇救這些老傢伙

202
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:44,000
‎但是要記得
‎只有小伙子才能及時救他們

203
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:47,708
‎只要救他們，院方就知道你是冒牌貨

204
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,166
‎救命啊！

205
00:14:06,958 --> 00:14:07,958
‎深蹲

206
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:14,041
‎深蹲能改變你們的腿、臀肌和人生！

207
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,166
‎生活！

208
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,083
‎歡笑！

209
00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:25,666
‎深蹲！

210
00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:33,208
‎冒牌老人！

211
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:36,791
‎冒牌老人！

212
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:40,541
‎我不知道他在講什麼
‎我很老，我還記得DVD

213
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:41,916
‎省省吧，小子！

214
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,666
‎真正的老人沒辦法
‎用青蛙式深蹲舉起賓果遊戲籠

215
00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:49,166
‎但我喜歡這裡，至少讓我來玩吧

216
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,750
‎那麼週日煲湯日呢？週五纖維日呢？

217
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:54,166
‎拜託別逼我回學校上課！

218
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,083
‎（活動室）

219
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,500
‎（泥巴學校）

220
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,625
‎這下可好，我又變年輕了

221
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:08,041
‎不過我找到青蛙式深蹲的實際用途了

222
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,500
‎至少你知道怎麼上體育課了

223
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:13,208
‎好，各位同學，重大消息！

224
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,708
‎深蹲博士有了新處方

225
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:19,875
‎深蹲出局，現在要伏地挺身！

226
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:23,875
‎伏地挺身？
‎伏地挺身對生活有什麼幫助？

227
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,083
‎伏地挺身能幫…

228
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,625
‎不准回顧！

229
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:29,125
‎馬上伏地挺身！

230
00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:32,625
‎看起來好難

231
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:39,833
‎你還有那個護頸枕嗎？

232
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:44,000
‎（泥巴鎮隊加油）

233
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:12,458
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺

234
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:13,541
‎我的背！