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SEBUAH SIRI NETFLIX

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Keluar!

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Tengok, semuanya lancar.

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Saya nak jadi huruf!

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ALASAN DARAH

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SEKOLAH DIRT

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Tengok! Kaki awak macam kaki bayi!

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Cuma awak bukan bayi, betul?

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Sebab itulah Doktor Squats
beri awak ubatnya iaitu berjongkok!

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Berjongkok mengubah kaki,
punggung dan hidup awak!

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Sungguh mantap.

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Hari ini, kita mula jongkok katak.

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Hidup, ketawa, jongkok!

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Jongkok katak lagi?

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Betul, katak teruk.

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Jongkok takkan ubah hidup kita.

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Tidak?

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Tak, sebab itu kelas gim membazir masa.

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Jongkok tiada nilai langsung.

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<i>Jongkok boleh bantu</i>
<i>makanan saya siap cepat?</i>

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<i>Mampu pulihkan Internet yang sangkut?</i>

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Tak boleh! Tiada situasi sebenar

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memerlukan seseorang buat jongkok katak!

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Awak!

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Nak situasi jongkok katak sebenar, ya?

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Sepuluh kali jongkok katak!

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Saya tak boleh buat.

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Doktor kata saya tak toleran katak.

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Terfikir katak buat perut saya kembung.

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Alamak, dah terfikir. Baik saya balik.

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Yalah. Penawar yang diperlukan ialah…

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Jongkok katak!

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Okey, semua.

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Saya dapat tahu hari ini ada derma darah.

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Sesiapa yang menderma darah
dikecualikan daripada kelas.

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Dikecualikan?

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Jadi, awak perlu pilih.

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Teruskan dan belajar kemahiran jongkok

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atau menjadi wira.

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Saya tahu pilihan saya.

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- Bagaimana?
- Bagus.

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Mula-mula, saya baring.

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Jururawat puji urat besar saya
yang orang tak perasan.

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Tidur sekejap atau pengsan,

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dapat biskut.

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Hebatnya!

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Lebih baik daripada
jongkok katak yang sia-sia.

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Rasakan, kelas gim!

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Hari-hari ada kelas gim.

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Maka, saya tahu caranya.

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MAC 4
MAC 5

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MAC 14
MAC 15

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BUKA

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Maaf lewat makan aiskrim,

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tapi saya nak ceri.

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Maaf, encik. Waktu aiskrim ini peribadi

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untuk saya dan geng aiskrim percuma.

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Ini saya…

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Sayalah, James. Geng awak.

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James, memang betul awak?

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James?

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Awak rupanya.

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Apa yang awak buat?

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Kita sepatutnya jadi tua bersama!

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Saya derma darah setiap hari
untuk dikecualikan aktiviti.

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Awak dah macam belon kempis.

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Tunggu, belon ada darah?

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Harganya $75.

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Boleh beri tiga sudu?

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Maaf, tuan. Saya tak nampak.
Biar saya beri diskaun warga emas.

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Harganya dua dolar.

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Nah, bantal leher dan air suam

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kalau-kalau <i>brain freeze.</i>

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Baik, dua dolar!

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Apa?

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Max, Echo. Awak faham maksudnya?

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Awak nak keluarkan
dana persaraan sebelum matang?

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Maknanya tak macam kelas gim, derma darah

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beri sesuatu yang saya boleh guna,
diskaun warga emas!

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Saya dapat melahap makanan di Dirt
macam belalang juta berkerumun.

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Ayuh mula jelajah makanan.

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BIJIRIN OLYMPUS
MEMANG GULA

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CUBA HARI INI

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HARGA SAHIH

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JUMLAH: 70
DISKAUN: 60

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JUMLAH
WARGA EMAS

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Ponteng jongkok katak,
malah dapat diskaun warga emas.

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Banyaknya manfaat derma darah.

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Kurang bercakap, kismis.

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Diskaun warga emas
Bagel Bunker perlu direbut.

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Kawan-kawan, betis saya tak cukup darah.

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Kawan-kawan?

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Maaf, datuk.

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Boleh saya tolong datuk
lintas jalan untuk dapat lencana?

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Ya. Terima kasih.

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Dia setuju! Ayuh!

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Ya!

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Akhirnya saya dapat lencana kumpul datuk.

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Tak, awak tak faham!

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Awak silap, saya bukan…

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<i>Slushies?</i>

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Meridap?

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Keju lembut?

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Bawa saya pergi.

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James? Bukan.

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James? Bukan.

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James? Tidak!

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Usia muda saya.

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Max, Echo?

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James!

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Itu pun awak.
Saya perlu bayar $1.50 untuk hot dog.

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Apa mereka buat?

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Awak tenang. Tak macam biasa.

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Kelip mata jika ditahan secara paksa.

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Saya okey. Malah lebih baik.

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Saya dah bersara.

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Daripada apa?

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Kelas dungu yang tiada nilai sebenar.

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Tak macam skuter diaktifkan suara ini.

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Skuter, bawa saya jalan-jalan.

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Di tempat ini,

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boleh lupakan kelas gim,
statistik atau lain-lain

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yang cikgu kata sangat penting.

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Serius, Max. Sebut satu subjek.

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Geometri.

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Geo-cubalah-lagi.

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Satu-satunya matematik,

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satu jeli tambah satu jeli bererti parti.

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Ada vitamin tambahan.

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<i>Masa bingo.</i>

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Dalam hal cuba makanan, bukankah
lebih bagus percuma berbanding diskaun?

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Permainan bingo pula
tawarkan gula-gula khas orang tua.

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Bertenang. Mari kita main bingo.

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N-31.

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Bingo, beri saya snek!

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Mustahil, baru bola pertama!

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Bu!

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Baiklah, kita sambung. Nombor seterusnya…

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- Bingo!
- Saya dapat bingo!

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Bu!

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James, awak pura-pura tua.
Awak akan tinggal di sini?

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Max.

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Saya akan nikmati hidup
tanpa gim dan kelas lain di sini.

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Max? Saya kenal buaya itu. Tak mungkin!

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Mata itu. Saya kenal mata itu!

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Memang awak!

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Maaf, kita kenal?

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Bawang!

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Siapa?

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Smooth Jason?

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Bingo.

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Bu!

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Apa awak buat di sini?

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Sebab awak.

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Selepas awak dedahkan saya menipu,
saya diketepikan semua orang.

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Tiada tempat dituju,
tiada bawang untuk ditangisi.

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Namun macam awak,

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saya ada identiti baharu
dengan menderma darah!

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Saya menjadi…

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Jason Berkedut!

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Pentas baharu untuk bersinar.

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Sekarang masa untuk balas dendam.

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Awak pernah musnahkan hidup saya,
kini awak akan rasa!

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Sebaik bank darah tahu
awak salah guna sistem,

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- awak akan dilarang menderma!
- Tidak.

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Maka, awak tak dapat jadi tua!

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Dendam kesumat saya berbalas!

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00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,000
Awak buka mulut, awak pun kena.

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Tak kalau kaki bayi awak dikalahkan!

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Satu lawan tiga.

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Saya tak buat matematik lagi,
tapi suka kemungkinan itu.

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Waktu melawat sudah tamat.

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Semua orang muda, keluar!

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Selamat tinggal!

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- Bingo!
- Bu!

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<i>Penghuni boleh lepak di luar</i>
<i>sementara pergaduhan bermula</i>

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<i>atau tunggu dan letak taruhan!</i>

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Saya bertaruh 12 gula-gula
untuk si belon kempis!

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Di mana saya?

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Alamak! Ayuh tolong James!

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Dia sudah tak menentu!

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Nanti eloklah.

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Okey, siapa ada cucu teruk
dan mahu layanan istimewa hari ini?

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Satu gula-gula seminit. Siapa dulu?

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Belakang saya!

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Smooth…

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Si Kedut…

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Dah tamat, Jason.

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Awak ada pilihan.

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Dedahkan saya atau selamatkan
orang-orang tua itu.

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Ingat, hanya orang muda
yang sempat selamatkan mereka.

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Kalau dapat, maka terdedahlah rahsia awak.

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Tolong!

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00:14:06,958 --> 00:14:07,958
<i>Jongkok!</i>

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00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:14,041
Berjongkok mengubah kaki,
punggung dan hidup awak!

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Hidup!

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00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,083
Ketawa!

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00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:25,666
Jongkok!

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00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:33,208
Dia berpura-pura tua!

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00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:36,791
Dia berpura-pura tua!

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Tak fahamlah!
Saya tua dan ingat apa itu DVD!

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00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:41,916
Sudahlah, budak!

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00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,916
Orang tua tak mampu
berjongkok angkat sangkar bingo!

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Suka tempat ini! Boleh melawat?

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Sup Ahad? Serat Jumaat?

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00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:54,166
Saya tak nak bersekolah semula!

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BILIK AKTIVITI

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SEKOLAH DIRT

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00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,625
Aduhai, saya dah muda semula.

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00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:08,041
Namun, saya jumpa
nilai sebenar jongkok katak.

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00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,500
Setidaknya, awak hadir kelas.

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00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:13,208
Baiklah, berita penting!

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00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,708
Saya ada penawar baharu.

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00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:20,291
Tiada lagi jongkok, kini tekan tubi.

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Tekan tubi?
Apa gunanya tekan tubi dalam hidup?

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00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,083
Boleh tolong…

217
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:29,125
Jangan imbau kembali.
Buat tekan tubi sekarang!

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Nampak susah.

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Awak ada bantal leher itu lagi?

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AYUH, DIRTS

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Terjemahan sari kata oleh NH Azizan

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Belakang saya!