1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,208
-[theme music plays]
-[bird chirps]
2
00:00:07,291 --> 00:00:08,250
[chomps]
3
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[burps]
4
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[sniffs]
5
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-[glass breaks]
-[Max shrieks]
6
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-[grunts, panicked breathing]
-Go, go, go, go, go! Agh!
7
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:21,125
See? Everything worked out.
8
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[laughs]
9
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,916
Aw. I wanna be a ladder.
10
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:29,958
[burps]
11
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[whistle blowing]
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Look at you! You all have baby legs!
13
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,041
But you're not babies, are you?
14
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That's why Doctor Squats is prescribing
the only medicine she recognizes…
15
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squats!
16
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:56,166
Squats transform your legs, your glutes,
and your life!
17
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They're squat-tastic.
18
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So, today we begin with squat frogs.
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Live. Laugh. Squat!
20
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[cheers]
21
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[strains]
22
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[grunts, groans]
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More squat frogs?
24
00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:12,958
Yeah, I know. Frogs suck.
25
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:15,625
Squats won't "transform our lives."
26
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:16,708
They won't?
27
00:01:16,791 --> 00:01:19,916
No, that's why gym class
is such a waste of time.
28
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Squats have zero value in everyday life.
29
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,458
Will squats help me microwave
my mac and cheese faster?
30
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Will squats restore the internet when my
Wi-Fi crashes? No!
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There will never be
a real world situation
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where one would need to perform
a squat frog.
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[heavy stomping]
34
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You! You want a real world situation
for squat frogs, do ya?!
35
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Do ten squat frogs!
36
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,291
Oh, I can't.
37
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My doctor says I'm actually
frog intolerant.
38
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Just thinking about frogs, and I'll bloat
like a blimp. [chuckles]
39
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:55,041
Uh-oh, I thought about them.
I should go home.
40
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:58,791
Uh-huh. The only prescription you need
for your condition is…
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[winces]
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Squat frogs!
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[groaning]
44
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[whispers inaudibly]
45
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[groans, blows whistle]
46
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Okay, everyone.
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It's come to Doctor Squats' attention
that today is blood drive day.
48
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Whoever wants to donate blood can be
excused from gym class.
49
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,833
[gasps] Excused from gym class?
50
00:02:21,916 --> 00:02:24,000
So, you have to choose.
51
00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:27,125
Stay here and master
a squat-tastic life skill,
52
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:29,458
or you can be a hero.
53
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I know what I'd choose.
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[panting]
55
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[bell ringing]
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00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,708
-How'd it go?
-Great!
57
00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:46,666
First, I got to lie down in a recliner.
58
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,833
Then the nurse complimented me
on my large veins,
59
00:02:48,916 --> 00:02:50,291
which no one ever notices.
60
00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:52,458
I took an instant nap,
which they called fainting,
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and then I got a cookie.
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That is incredible!
63
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Yeah, way better than useless squat frogs.
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Take that gym class!
65
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But gym class is every day.
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Then I know what I have to do.
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[montage music]
68
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[winces]
69
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[muzak playing]
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[montage music resumes]
71
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[straining, panting]
72
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:37,583
Sorry I'm late for ice cream o'clock,
73
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but dibs on the cherry.
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Sorry, mister.
Ice cream o'clock is a private thing
75
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,250
for me and the two chumps
I hustle for free ice cream.
76
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:48,583
But it's me… [coughing]
77
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:51,250
But it's me, James, one of the chumps.
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00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:55,208
[gasps] James!
Is it really you?
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00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:57,333
[Max] Hmm…
80
00:03:58,583 --> 00:03:59,958
James?
81
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:05,125
It is you!
82
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,791
What did you do?
83
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:09,583
We're supposed to grow old together!
84
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,250
I've been donating blood every day
this past week to get out of P.E.
85
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,791
But you're like a deflated balloon!
86
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:18,000
Wait, do balloons bleed?
87
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:21,916
That will be seventy-five dollars.
88
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,041
[clears throat] Can we get three spoons?
89
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:29,500
[gasps] Oh, sorry, sir.
I-- I didn't see you there.
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00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:31,750
Let me just give you the senior discount.
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00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:34,166
That'll be two bits.
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00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,291
And here's a neck pillow
and a glass of warm water,
93
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in case you get a brain freeze.
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00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:46,416
Two bits it is!
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00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:51,083
-What?!
-Max, Echo.
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00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,750
Don't you see what this means?
97
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:55,708
That you'll be cashing out your
retirement fund years before it matures?
98
00:04:55,791 --> 00:04:58,208
No, it means that unlike gym class,
99
00:04:58,291 --> 00:04:59,958
me giving blood has actually given me
100
00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,916
something I can actually use
in real life, actually.
101
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,333
Senior discounts!
102
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:07,916
Which means I'm going to eat my way
through Dirt's ancient foods
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like a locust on swarming day.
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Let the food tour begin.
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♪ ♪
106
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:46,916
Ah, getting out of squat frogs
and getting old people discounts--
107
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,708
is there anything giving blood
isn't good for?
108
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:51,708
Less talky, more walkie, raisin man.
109
00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:54,458
Bagel Bunker's senior discounts
aren't going to discount themselves.
110
00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:58,750
[panting] You guys?!
111
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My blood-starved calves. [groans]
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[panting]
113
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Guys?!
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Excuse me, Mr. Senior.
115
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,875
Can I help you cross the street
116
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,541
for my helping the elderly merit badge?
117
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:21,083
Oh, um, sure. Thank you.
118
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:23,416
He said, yes! Go! Go! Go!
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[whimpering]
120
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:38,041
Yes! I finally got
my grandpa-gathering badge.
121
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Wa-hoo!
122
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,875
No wait, you don't understand!
123
00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:46,291
This is a mistake.
I'm not actually… [gasps]
124
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:52,583
[James gasps] Slushies?
125
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:55,958
Naps?
126
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:01,458
[gasps] Soft cheeses?
127
00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:06,000
Take me away, boys.
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00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,541
James? Nope.
129
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:15,250
James? Nuh-uh.
130
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James? No!
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My youth!
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[James] Max? Echo?
133
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,458
-[gasps]
-[grumbles]
134
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James!
135
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:28,708
[groans] There you are.
136
00:07:28,791 --> 00:07:31,375
I had to pay a full dollar fifty
for a hot dog.
137
00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:33,875
What have they done to you?
You look relaxed.
138
00:07:33,958 --> 00:07:35,208
That's not the James that I know.
139
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,750
Blink normally if you're being held
against your will!
140
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:38,875
I'm fine, Max.
141
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,416
I'm more than fine.
I'm retired.
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Retired from what?
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00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,333
Stupid classes that bring
no real value to life,
144
00:07:47,416 --> 00:07:49,750
unlike my new voice-activated scooter.
145
00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:51,541
Scooter, tour me.
146
00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:57,416
In this place, you can forget all about
dumb P.E or stats,
147
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:01,458
or any other unimportant thing teachers
force you to think are so important.
148
00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,625
Seriously, Max, name a school subject.
149
00:08:03,708 --> 00:08:04,750
Geometry.
150
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:07,375
Pfft! Geome-try-again.
151
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:09,416
The only math you got to know here is
152
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:13,333
that one Jello plus two Jello
is a party, baby.
153
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:18,416
Mmm. With added vitamins.
154
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,583
[PA chimes] Bingo time.
155
00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:26,250
When it comes to trying new foods,
what's a bigger discount than free?
156
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:30,416
At bingo, we play for obscure candies
only known by the elderly.
157
00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:33,375
[cheering]
158
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,291
Oh!
159
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:49,375
Alright. Alright, calm down, kids.
Let's play some bingo.
160
00:08:55,083 --> 00:08:56,250
[giggles]
161
00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:57,625
"N," 31.
162
00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:59,666
Bingo! Give me snacks!
163
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:02,541
Impossible, that was just the first ball!
164
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,916
-Boo!
-[more jeering]
165
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:10,375
Oh!
166
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:14,208
All right, let's get back to it.
The next number is--
167
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,708
-Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
-Bingo! Bingo! I got bingo!
168
00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:18,541
[more booing and jeering]
169
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,250
So, uh, James, now that
you're pretending to be old,
170
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:25,583
are you going to live here now?
171
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,541
Mm-hmm, Max.
I'm gonna live my best gym-less
172
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:31,708
and other unnecessary classes life
right here.
173
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:37,375
Max? I know that crocodile.
It can't be!
174
00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:42,083
[laughing]
175
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,125
Those eyes! I know those eyes!
176
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,791
It is you!
177
00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:55,000
Sorry, do I know you?
178
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,750
[sniffing]
179
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,500
Onion!
180
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:01,583
Who?
181
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,208
[gasping] Smooth Jason!
182
00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:14,958
[swooning]
183
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,041
Bingo.
184
00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,958
[elders] Boo!
185
00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:20,666
What are you doing here?
186
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,875
I'm here because of you.
187
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:25,458
After you exposed me as a cheater,
188
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,000
I was shunned by everyone.
189
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:31,666
No place to go, no onion to cry on.
190
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:35,708
But like you, I discovered a
new identity for myself
191
00:10:35,791 --> 00:10:37,000
through giving blood!
192
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,250
I became…
193
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,458
Wrinkly Jason!
194
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,291
And I found a new stage to shine on,
195
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:48,000
and now it's payback time.
196
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:52,375
You've ruined my life once,
so now I'm gonna ruin yours!
197
00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:55,208
Once the blood bank hears
you're abusing their system,
198
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:56,833
you'll be banned from donating!
199
00:10:56,916 --> 00:11:00,416
-No!
-And that means no more looking old.
200
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,958
Revenge will be mine! [grunts]
201
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,000
If you tattle on me, I'll tattle on you.
202
00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:12,416
Not if I break those wrinkly baby legs!
203
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,250
[scoffs] One against three.
204
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:17,375
I don't do math anymore,
but I like those odds.
205
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:26,833
Visiting hours are officially over.
206
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:31,000
All you youngins, get out!
207
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,541
-Well, bye, James!
-Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
208
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,958
[elders booing and jeering]
209
00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:38,041
[sniffs and chuckles]
210
00:11:41,125 --> 00:11:44,833
[orderly on PA] Residents can now either
enjoy outside time
211
00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:46,875
while the impending fight ensues,
212
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:50,083
or stay and place their bets!
213
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:54,041
I'll put twelve gum drops
on the deflated balloon!
214
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,333
Where am I?
215
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,458
[screams]
216
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,208
[grunting]
217
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,416
[groans]
218
00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:05,083
[groans]
219
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:06,916
[grunting and whimpering]
220
00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:11,666
[yells and groans]
221
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,666
[panting and straining]
222
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,416
Oh, no, we gotta help James!
223
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,291
He's not a lover or a fighter.
224
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:35,166
Eh, I'm sure they'll work it out.
225
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:38,333
Okay, who has ungrateful grandchildren
226
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,791
and wants to be treated respectfully
for the day?
227
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,750
Great. Gumdrop a minute. Who's first?
228
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:49,250
[grunting]
229
00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:54,875
[cracking]
230
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:56,708
My back!
231
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,583
-[chuckling]
-[whimpering]
232
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,416
[muffled grumbling]
233
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:22,750
[grunting and gasping]
234
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:27,000
Smooth… Wrinkly… It's over, Jason.
235
00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:32,916
[chuckles] Looks like you have a choice.
236
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,666
You can choose to turn me in
or you can save those prunes.
237
00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:40,125
[gasping]
238
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:43,916
Just remember, only a youngin'
can save them in time.
239
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,166
Save them, and they'll know
who you really are. [evil laughs]
240
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,125
[gasps]
241
00:13:57,416 --> 00:13:59,083
[groaning] Help! Oh, dear.
242
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:07,041
[straining]
243
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:08,833
-[Coach] Squats!
-[gasps]
244
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:13,958
Squats transform your legs,
your glutes, and your life!
245
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,166
Live!
246
00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:22,791
Laugh!
247
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,833
Squat!
248
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:33,208
Senior impostor! Senior impostor!
249
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:36,833
Senior impostor! Senior impostor!
250
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,375
I don't know what he's talking about!
251
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,541
I'm old-- I remember DVDs!
252
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:41,875
Save it, kid!
253
00:14:41,958 --> 00:14:45,666
No real senior could frog squat
a bingo cage.
254
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,000
Uh-huh!
255
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,125
But I love it here!
Can I at least visit?
256
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:50,541
What about on Soup Sundays?
257
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:51,708
Fiber Fridays?
258
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,166
Please, don't make me go back to school!
259
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:57,208
[evil laughing]
260
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,916
[bell ringing]
261
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,375
And great, I'm young again.
262
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:07,916
But I guess I did find
a real-life value in squat frogs.
263
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,541
Well, at least you know how
to gym class now.
264
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:13,208
All right, class, big news!
265
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,708
Doctor Squats has a new prescription.
266
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:16,875
Squats are out,
267
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,291
and push-ups are in!
268
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:23,875
Push-ups? How will push-ups
ever help me in life?
269
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:25,041
Will push-ups help me--
270
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,875
No flashbacks!
271
00:15:26,958 --> 00:15:29,166
Push-ups, now!
272
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,208
[straining]
273
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:32,625
Oh, that looks hard.
274
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,166
-[cracks]
-Ow!
275
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:39,833
Hey, do you still have that neck pillow?
276
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,833
[panting and groaning]
277
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,166
[ending theme music plays]
278
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:13,541
[James] My back!