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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎快跑…

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‎看吧，問題都解決了

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‎我也想當字母

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‎劇名：狼味情緒

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‎（泥巴學校）

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‎耶，止汗劑，老子現在轉大人囉

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‎天啊，詹姆斯，你怎麼了？

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‎我昨天下午參加某個社團的活動

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‎哪個社團？

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‎西洋棋社

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‎你幹嘛去西洋棋社的活動？

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‎因為我受夠每次都只有我什麼都不懂

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‎連我最好的朋友都有專長

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‎你是“演淚”比賽校隊的台柱

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‎我拚命想找到專長

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‎拚命到滿身大汗
‎我這輩子還沒流過汗耶

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‎沒錯，你的確有點汗臭味

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‎但是別擔心，我有法寶

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‎來，試試看

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‎謝了

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‎你幹嘛？要塗在腋下啦

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‎“警告：只能用在腋下？”

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‎也許這個可以是我的專長

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‎不理警告標示的叛逆小子

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‎怎麼回事？又鹹…又臭…

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‎等一下，這不是眼淚，是汗水

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‎你的眼睛流出汗水？

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‎不可能

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‎剛好上課時間

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‎你用巨大的鱷魚身軀擋住
‎也許就沒人注意到我

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‎誰說的？詹姆斯？你在哪裡？

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‎嗨

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‎詹姆斯，我在西洋棋社打敗你

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‎你到現在還難過嗎？

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‎不知道我的後援會還有沒有名額

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‎但是別擔心，我隨時能檢查檢查

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‎不對！我告訴你
‎史都華，你並沒有打敗我

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‎是我嚴正退出，因為你們不聽我解釋

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‎為什麼西洋棋的棋子名字錯了

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‎為什麼國王頭上有十字架？

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‎而且為什麼有主教？

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‎這種活動不該牽涉到宗教

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‎你為自己辯護，結果讓我更想欺負你

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‎但你流淚又讓我覺得你被我傷害到了

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‎我可不想在這種廢物身上浪費力氣

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‎我要走了

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‎別看我，我要走了

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‎一夜情後回家的感覺就這麼丟臉吧？

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‎好，刺激效果總算沒了

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‎詹姆斯，你太強了

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‎利用悲情讓對手心神錯亂並且落敗

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‎是非常高段的手法

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‎我太佩服了

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‎對手？你不是說惡霸嗎？

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‎在我擔任教練的“演淚”社
‎這兩者其實沒有分別

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‎這個社團利用豐沛的感情致勝

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‎這是我的專長

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‎一點也沒錯

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‎麥斯是我們的“最有價值愛哭鬼”

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‎可是麥斯的宿敵滑溜傑森…

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‎別說出他的名字，他老是讓我做惡夢

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‎滑溜傑森傳訊息給我

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‎貼出他和去年獎盃的合照

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‎他還穿著鱷魚皮靴

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‎威嚇意味和時尚品味十足

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‎詹姆斯，其實我告訴你

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‎我剛剛把一個隊員列入傷兵名單

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‎淚腺扭傷

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‎嗨

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‎想不想加入校隊，參加明天的大賽？

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‎你一定能幫我們

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‎好，謝謝，但是我不知道耶

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‎我們快要開始練習了，過來看看吧

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‎你不試試怎麼知道這不是你的專長？

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‎（演淚比賽練習）

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‎情緒

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‎大家集合起來

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‎各位，他是詹姆斯

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‎他有意加入我們的校隊

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‎嗨

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‎別只是站在那邊揮手
‎讓大家看看你的本事

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‎好，等一下

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‎哇

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‎天啊，只花1.8秒就流淚了

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‎我從來沒看過這麼快的

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‎詹姆斯，你一定可以打敗滑溜傑森

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‎毀了他，讓他粉身碎骨

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‎用他得到第二名的眼淚把自己煮熟

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‎我們總算要拿到冠軍了

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‎詹姆斯太強了

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‎-加油！
‎-厲害

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‎好耶！

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‎我找到專長了，麥斯
‎你聽到歡呼聲了嗎？

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‎這怎麼是你的專長？

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‎這是我的專長

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‎你也聽到掌聲了，麥斯

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‎可是你的眼淚是假的，這樣算作弊

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‎有規定不能用止汗劑嗎？

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‎沒有，怎麼有人會用止汗劑作弊？

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‎那就不算作弊了

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‎拜託，麥斯，我是為了你才這麼做的

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‎滑溜傑克森都讓你做惡夢了

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‎是滑溜傑森啦

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‎傑克森、傑森、傑克，隨便啦

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‎我會幫你料理他，相信我，保證好玩

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‎（演淚錦標賽）

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‎哇，出席的人好多

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‎你看看這些打扮體面的別校學生

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‎穿著畢挺的制服，住豪宅

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‎錢，我好愛錢

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‎他就在那裡，滑溜傑森

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‎我知道老師不該討厭小孩

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‎但我恨死那個小孩了

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‎對不起，我只是想到
‎小狗第一次看到日出

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‎我要花錢買那條手帕

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‎好，各位“演淚”選手，在第一回合

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‎雙方辯論時要用到情緒
‎也就是感覺，也就是裝可憐

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‎左邊的選手

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‎是滑溜傑森

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‎冠軍、玻璃心、舌燦蓮花

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‎右邊是麥斯

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‎讓觀眾最感動的人就贏了

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‎主題呢？“運動要誠實”

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‎聽口令，預備：哭起來！

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‎運動一定要誠實

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‎因為如果運動不誠實，就代表作弊

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‎謝謝你，麥斯

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‎但是我覺得更大的問題是…

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‎誠實是什麼？

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‎太驚人了，真叫人震驚

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‎重來一次，別擔心，朋友，交給我

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‎沒錯，我們可以問自己誠實是什麼

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‎用哲學理念故意唱高調給大家聽

135
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‎但我們也可以招認

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‎如果誠實不能幫自己的隊伍奪冠

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‎運動不完全誠實也沒關係

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‎如果教練說他們不可能贏

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‎有多少隊伍還會努力反敗為勝？沒有

140
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‎如果隊友每一次

141
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‎都誠實說出對彼此的想法
‎會有多少打架事件？

142
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‎“你的打擊力軟趴趴的”

143
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‎“是嗎？你的打法
‎就跟我國的建設一樣落後”

144
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‎“想打架嗎？來啊！”

145
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‎到時就會血流成河，血濺五步

146
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‎所以認真想過就會知道

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‎如果能贏，不誠實會比誠實來得好

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‎第一回合優勝者

149
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‎優勝者…

150
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‎下場比賽，音樂眼淚
‎這回合每次都會讓我哭

151
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‎現在選手要聽有史以來最悲傷的歌曲

152
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‎第一個流滿整桶眼淚的人獲勝

153
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‎打敗他

154
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‎愛哭鬼好了嗎？一、二、三，哭起來

155
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‎上啊！

156
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‎優勝者！

157
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‎毫無意外

158
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‎各位年輕人，這個回合是擁抱對決

159
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:10,875
‎你們要來回使出情緒滿滿的擁抱絕招

160
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‎第一個讓對手認輸的選手獲勝

161
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‎什麼？

162
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‎你們擁抱時不能耍詐
‎禁止弄傷脊椎或者搔癢

163
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‎制定規則是有原因的

164
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‎因為要讓我執行，懂了嗎？

165
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‎一、二、三，哭起來

166
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‎-擁抱
‎-懷抱

167
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‎摟住

168
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‎幹掉他，詹姆斯

169
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‎優勝者！

170
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‎真的成功了，總算成功了

171
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‎我們再贏一回合就得冠軍了

172
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‎我高興到都要吐了，然後吃掉

173
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‎因為蒼蠅就是這樣，我們吐了又吃

174
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‎暫停

175
00:12:17,666 --> 00:12:19,583
‎拜託，一定還有剩

176
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‎你在找這個嗎？

177
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‎對

178
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‎什麼？你在幹嘛？

179
00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:32,250
‎你聽到麥克蠅說的
‎只要贏最後一回合，冠軍就是我們的

180
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‎你不想贏嗎？這是你的專長

181
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‎再也不是了

182
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‎你已經用發霉、刺激
‎偶爾有毒的味道，侮辱了這個專長

183
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:43,416
‎好吧，那就只能算是我的專長了

184
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:47,291
‎這也不是你的專長
‎你從來就沒有這項專長

185
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‎你不能用這個或禿鷹尖釘

186
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‎或老虎閃電或忍者暴風

187
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‎或花豹砲彈或野狼卡車或黃鼠狼魚雷

188
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‎我的止汗劑！

189
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‎拜託，詹姆斯，找到你自己的專長吧

190
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‎壓軸好戲來了，最後一回合的比賽

191
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‎現在我要哭了

192
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,708
‎這回合的分數加倍計算

193
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‎現在勝負難料
‎最後一場激情辯論要開始了

194
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‎主題！

195
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‎“偷朋友的東西到底好不好？”

196
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,916
‎麥斯，這個我最行了

197
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,416
‎詹姆斯…

198
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‎我其實沒哭
‎我比賽時都用止汗劑刺激淚腺

199
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‎我說出口了

200
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‎沒錯，我比賽時流的淚都在騙人

201
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‎其實“演淚”根本就不是我的專長

202
00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,416
‎是我好朋友麥斯的專長

203
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:21,375
‎我寧願過著沒有專長的生活
‎也不想過沒有麥斯的生活

204
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:24,708
‎詹姆斯

205
00:14:33,416 --> 00:14:35,791
‎你的專長就是當我的好朋友

206
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:39,500
‎不准鼓掌！

207
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,708
‎他作弊

208
00:14:41,791 --> 00:14:44,166
‎滑溜傑森又贏了！

209
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,875
‎各位對我太好了

210
00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:52,125
‎鞠躬

211
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:57,791
‎癢蔥！

212
00:14:57,875 --> 00:14:59,250
‎唸洋蔥啦

213
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,000
‎-我唸“癢蔥”啊
‎-什麼？

214
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,458
‎好，等一下再講這件事，不過現在

215
00:15:04,541 --> 00:15:05,375
‎他作弊

216
00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:12,166
‎詹姆斯和滑溜傑森兩人都被除名

217
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,541
‎等一下，所以沒人贏？

218
00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:18,500
‎不行…

219
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:21,875
‎滑溜傑森被除名，但我還是沒贏？

220
00:15:21,958 --> 00:15:23,625
‎不行…

221
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:37,291
‎不公平…

222
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,833
‎人生真不公平！

223
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:44,958
‎戰局急轉直下，新的優勝者出現了

224
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,666
‎好耶…

225
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:55,375
‎我竟然讓一瓶止汗劑破壞我們的友誼

226
00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:58,041
‎對啊，他們應該在上面加註警語的

227
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:03,291
‎你說得沒錯，我們應該提告
‎也許告人可以是我的專長

228
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,125
‎滑溜傑森

229
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,875
‎你去吃便便

230
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:09,666
‎拿這個去哭吧

231
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:13,666
‎我贏了，我終於贏了

232
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,666
‎那個獎盃應該是你的，麥斯

233
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,875
‎為什麼？因為你覺得我最會哭？

234
00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:21,083
‎不對，因為你是不作弊的最強選手

235
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:22,291
‎對耶！

236
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:24,416
‎拿這個去哭吧，滑溜傑森

237
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,416
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺