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SEBUAH SIRI NETFLIX

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Keluar!

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Tengok? Semuanya lancar.

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Saya nak jadi huruf!

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DEODORAN PENCETUS EMOSI

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SEKOLAH DIRT

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Ya, deodoran! Kita budak matang.

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James, apa dah jadi?

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Semalam saya sertai uji bakat kelab.

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Kelab mana?

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Catur.

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Kenapa masuk kelab catur?

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Saya jelak jadi orang yang tiada minat.

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Awak pun ada minat sendiri.

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Awak ketua Kelab Perasaan.

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Susahnya nak cari minat.

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Sampai berpeluh-peluh saya mencarinya.

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Ya, badan awak agak berbau.

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Jangan risau. Ada barangnya.

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Nah, cubalah.

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Terima kasih.

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Awak buat apa? Pakai di ketiak!

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"Amaran: untuk ketiak sahaja!"?

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Mungkin ini bakat saya.

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Tak endahkan label amaran.

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Apa yang berlaku? Masin dan busuk.

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Ini bukan air mata, tapi peluh.

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Peluh daripada mata? Tak mungkin.

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Tepat masa untuk kelas.

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Mungkin orang tak nampak
saya menyorok belakang awak.

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Siapa? James? Awak di mana?

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Hai.

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Masih sedih tak terpilih
untuk kelab catur sebab saya?

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Mungkin kelab peminat saya ada kekosongan.

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Jangan risau. Saya boleh periksa dulu.

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Tidak! Awak tak kalahkan saya, Stuart.

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Para ahli enggan dengar
hujah saya tentang nama buah catur.

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Kenapa raja ada salib di kepala?

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Apa biskop buat di sana?

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Sepatutnya tiada kaitan agama.

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Awak cuba melawan,
saya rasa nak buli lagi,

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tapi saya rasa awak tersinggung

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dan saya tak nak bazir tenaga untuk awak.

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Saya pergi dulu.

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Berhenti pandang saya.

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Inilah rasa malu rupanya.

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Bagus. Akhirnya dah habis.

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Bagus, James.

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Guna emosi untuk mengelirukan
dan mengatasi pesaing

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sesuatu yang agak maju.

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Kagum rasanya.

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Pesaing? Maksud cikgu, pembuli?

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Sama saja dalam kelab saya,
Kelab Perasaan.

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Kelab yang guna perasaan untuk menang.

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Itu bakat saya.

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SERTAI KAMI

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Ya, memang betul.

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Max ialah Cengeng kami. Paling bernilai.

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Tapi pesaing Max sejak sekian lama,
Smooth Jason…

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Jangan sebut. Saya teringat-ingat.

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Dia hantar gambar dia
dan piala tahun lalu,

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malah pakai but kulit buaya!

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Mengancam dan bergaya.

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Beginilah, James.

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Seorang ahli baru saja cedera.
Kelenjar air mata terkehel.

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Hei.

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Awak nak sertai kami
untuk pertandingan penting esok?

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Awak pasti dapat tolong kami.

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Terima kasih, tapi entahlah.

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Kami baru nak mula berlatih.
Marilah tengok.

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Manalah tahu awak akan minat.

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LATIHAN KELAB PERASAAN

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Emosi.

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Semua orang berkumpul.

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Semua orang, ini James.

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Dia nak sertai skuad kita.

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Hai.

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Jangan lambai saja.
Tunjukkan kemampuan awak.

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Okey, sekejap.

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Wah.

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Aduhai. Sifar hingga lopak
dalam masa 1.8 saat.

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Saya tak pernah nampak.

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James, awak boleh kalahkan Smooth Jason.

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Musnahkan dia. Lumatkan dia habis-habisan.

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Rebus dia guna air mata dia
di tempat kedua itu.

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Akhirnya kita akan menang kejuaraan.

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Syabas, James.

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- Hore!
- Syabas!

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Ya!

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Saya dah jumpa saya, Max.
Inilah bakat saya.

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Kenapa pula?

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Ini bakat saya.

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Awak dengar tepukan.

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Air mata awak palsu. Awak menipu.

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Ada peraturan larang guna deodoran?

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Tak. Kenapa nak guna deodoran
untuk niat jahat?

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Maka tak menipu.

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Ayuh, Max. Saya buat untuk awak.

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Awak mimpi tentang Smooth Jackson.

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Smooth Jason!

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Jackson, Jason, Joystick. Biarlah.

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Biar saya buat untuk awak.
Pasti seronok nanti.

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KEJUARAAN PERTANDINGAN PERASAAN

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Amboi, ramainya datang.

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Tengok sekolah pesaing itu,

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baju segak dengan rumah ada tangga.

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Duit. Saya ada duit.

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Itu pun dia. Smooth Jason.

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Guru tak patut benci pelajar,

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tapi saya benci dia.

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Maaf, saya cuma teringat
anak anjing melihat matahari terbit.

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Saya nak bayar sapu tangan itu!

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Okey, peserta. Untuk pusingan pertama,

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kamu akan bersaing
dalam debat penuh perasaan.

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Di sudut kiri,

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Smooth Jason,
juara mudah kasihan dan lembut lidah.

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Sebelah kanan, ada Max.

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Sesiapa yang mengharukan penonton menang.

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Topik? "Kejujuran dalam Sukan."

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Ikut saya, sedia dan beremosi!

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Kejujuran dalam sukan penting

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kerana jika tak jujur dalam sukan,
maknanya awak menipu.

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Terima kasih.

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Cuma soalan lebih penting…

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apakah erti kejujuran?

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Mengharukan. Sesak nafas saya dibuatnya.

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Lencongan. Serahkan kepada saya.

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Memang kita boleh tanya erti kejujuran

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sambil hirup teh falsafah

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atau kita jujur dan akui

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tak apa kalau tak jujur dalam sukan

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jika kejujuran halang kemenangan.

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Berapa ramai sedia bersaing lagi

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jika jurulatih kata
mereka tak boleh menang? Tiada.

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Berapa ramai bergaduh

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jika masing-masing beri pendapat jujur?

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"Awak pukul macam marshmallow."

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"Rentak awak lemah
macam infrastrukur negara kita."

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"Nak lawan? Marilah!"

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Pertumpahan darah pasti terjadi.

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Apabila difikirkan,

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lebih baik menipu jika nak menang.

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Pemenang pusingan pertama.

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Pemenang!

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Seterusnya, air mata muzikal.
Saya selalu terharu.

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Peserta akan dengar lagu paling sedih.

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Orang pertama penuhi baldi dikira menang.

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Musnahkan dia.

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Sedia, si cengeng?
Satu, dua, tiga, beremosi!

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Aduhai!

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Pemenang!

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Sudah dijangka.

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Kali ini, pusingan pelukan.

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Kamu akan saling berpelukan.

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Orang pertama buat lawan mengalah, menang.

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Apa?

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Saya nak pelukan kemas.
Jangan peluk kejap atau geletek tepi.

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Peraturan itu penting.

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Saya akan kuatkuasakan. Faham?

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Satu, dua, tiga, beremosi.

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- Peluk.
- Dakap.

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Takul.

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Kerjakan dia, James.

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Pemenang!

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Akhirnya akan tertunai.

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Satu lagi acara dan kita menang.

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Gembira sampai boleh makan muntah saya.

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Itulah lalat buat. Muntah dan makan.

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Masa rehat.

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Ayuh. Pasti ada satu.

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Awak cari benda ini?

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Ya!

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Awak buat apa?

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McFly kata jika saya menang,
kejuaraan milik kita.

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Tak nak menang? Ini minat awak.

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Tidak lagi.

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Awak cemari dengan bau tengik,
rempah dan kadangkala mengasyikkan.

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Baik, maka ini minat saya.

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Tak langsung. Malah bukan bakat awak.

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Selagi guna ini atau Pancang Hering,

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Kilat Harimau atau Taufan Ninja,

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Meriam Harimau,
Trak Serigala, Torpedo Wesel.

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Deodoran saya!

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James, carilah minat sendiri.

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Inilah detik penentuan,
acara terakhir pertandingan.

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Saya akan menangis.

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Ada dua kali ganda mata.

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Sesiapa boleh menang.
Satu debat emosi terakhir.

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Topik debat!

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"Rampas minat kawan.
Idea baik atau buruk?"

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Max. Saya boleh menang.

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James…

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Saya tak menangis.
Saya guna deodoran prestasi.

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Saya akui.

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Betul. Air mata ini dibasahi penipuan.

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Sebenarnya Kelab Perasaan
bukanlah minat saya.

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Namun minat Max, kawan baik saya.

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Hidup tanpa minat
lebih bererti dengan adanya Max.

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Aduhai, James!

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Jadi kawan baik saya adalah bakat awak.

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Jangan tepuk!

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Dia penipu!

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Smooth Jason menang lagi!

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Baiknya kamu.

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Tunduk.

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Bawang!

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Memanglah bawang.

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- Itulah saya kata.
- Apa?

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00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:05,375
Nanti kita cakap. Hei, penipu.

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James dan Smooth Jason hilang kelayakan.

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Tunggu, tiada sesiapa menang?

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Tidak!

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00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:21,875
Smooth Jason tersingkir
dan saya masih kalah?

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Tidak!

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Tak adil!

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Hidup memang tak adil!

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Disebabkan kejutan ini,
ada pemenang baharu.

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Ya!

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Kenapa saya biar deodoran
buat kita berbalah?

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Ya, patut ada label amaran.

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Betul juga. Kita patut saman.
Mungkin menyaman itu bakat saya.

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Smooth Jason, dah kalah, muka tak malu.

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Menangislah!

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Saya menang! Akhirnya saya menang!

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Awak patut dapat trofi itu, Max.

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Kenapa? Sebab saya paling bagus?

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00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:21,083
Tak, awak terbaik sebab tak menipu.

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Ya!

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Menangislah, Smooth Jason.

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Terjemahan sari kata oleh NH Azizan