-Go, go, go, go, go! Agh!
See? Everything worked out.
Aw. I wanna be a letter.
Ah.
Max, today's the day!
The day I turn into a real boy?
No, Max, that'll never happen.
Today's the day I'm going to ask my parents for an upgrade
from my dumb, old emergency flip phone.
You don't want that sweet phone anymore?
Sweet? The only thing this phone is good for
is seeing if my drinks are too hot.
And calling for help in an extreme emergency situation.
-But I need a smartphone. -Ow!
Everyone has one.
My phone can't text or take photos
or look up answers to questions I should have studied for.
Still better than mine.
Your parents still won't buy you any tech?
Nope. Minus the tracking device embedded in my neck.
But if you can get your parents to give you a cool, new smartphone,
you can give me your dumb, old emergency flip phone!
Well, get your creepy-old-man phone holster ready, Max,
because I'm about to do this!
Oh, heck yeah!
Mom, Dad. I wanna talk to you about my phone.
No. You want a flourless, gluten-free renewable pancake.
No. Bleh. That's not a pancake. And phone!
Honey, we've talked about this.
You're not responsible enough for a smartphone.
That's why you have a dumb phone. It's only fair.
It's not fair! Everyone at school has one.
And I bet they'd never use theirs as a hot-beverage thermometer.
Ugh. How can you not want your child to have the latest technology?
You work as a scientist.
Which means I'm smart enough to see through your paper-thin argument.
Paper-thin? It's your argument that's paper-thin!
How do you know I can't handle it
if you've never actually given me a smartphone?
Can you see the future?
In the lab, do you just decide how your experiments are gonna come out
and not do them?
No, you don't.
A real scientist would test their theories in the field.
Hi, James' mom, how's everything-- Hey, hey, hey! I wasn't done talking!
It is our job to test theories.
Fine. I'll test my theory.
If you can prove you're responsible, I'll get you a smartphone.
I'll do whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes.
Okay.
Mom, you ruined the moment.
We normally use this machine to mix flies with humans,
but it should work with a phone and a boy without damaging the phone too much.
What?!
I'm kidding, honey.
You won't feel a thing, and it'll wear off by later today. No big.
All right, everybody.
If this works,
children will finally understand how to be responsible with a phone!
Janine, I want you to run all power to my station.
Jim, grab a fire extinguisher.
No, two, in case this thing gets out of control.
I know I already said this, but, what?!
Sorry, honey, can't hear you! Too much steam.
It hurts! Make it stop!
Mm, you look the same. Feel any different?
Not really.
Oh, I gotta unlock you.
Not really.
Let me call you.
What the heck? Hello?
It worked! You're a smartphone!
Now, all you've gotta do is make it from this moment
until I get home from work without damaging yourself,
and we'll know if you're responsible enough for a real smartphone.
Uh-huh.
I don't know why you're okay with this. Your mom's using you as an experiment.
Your parents do experiments on you all the time.
Yeah, but I never learn a lesson.
Look, this experiment will be a piece of cake.
Speaking of which, I could go for some cake.
-Aah! -Aah!
How did you do that?
You just said you wanted-- Mm!-- cake-- Mm!-- and it got delivered! Mm!
I'm a smartphone!
I thought my mom meant I'd break like one or take a call,
but I'm like a full-fledged smartphone!
Ooh! What else can you do?
Is it amazing?
You can't see it?
No, I got blinding lights shooting out of my eyes.
Ugh. What is this?
It's a version of a falafel.
Ugh. What version?
It's the public-school-budget version. What do you expect?
Move on. Get out of here.
Ugh. One star.
My business is ruined! Why? Why me?
I'd like to return my order.
And this app takes your picture and shows you what you'd look like as a baby.
Now for you, Mr. McFly.
No, no, no, no. Don't look, don't look. I was born in the lab!
Disgusting! I'm gonna puke! Argh!
Mr. McFly, report to my office immediately.
Yes, Principal Loudspeaker.
And as for the rest of you kids, school's out!
Until we can replace your teacher!
You see, Max, the day's almost over and not a single scratch.
Hm. I can't wait for my mom to see how responsible I am.
I know! I can almost taste my new old phone.
-Up top! -Yeah!
What did you do?
What did I do? You-- you said up top!
What was I supposed to do? Leave you hanging?
Well, you didn't have to--
Agh! Agh! It's your mom!
Hi, Mom.
Hey, honey. I was just, uh, checking in.
I'll be off work in a couple of hours. Uh, so, how's the experiment going?
Uh, fine. Experiment's amazing. Totally responsible.
-Save yourself!
Uh, but I'm going-- I'm-- I'm going through a tunnel.
Sorry. Bye.
I hope she believed there's a tunnel outside.
I need to get this crack fixed before she gets home.
Why?
Because I'm always home when she gets back from work,
and if I'm not there, she'll know something's up.
And that means there's no smartphone for me and no dumb phone for you!
My flip phone! We gotta fix you!
Ugh. But we can't go to the lab.
My sister! She works at uBreak iDon't Judge.
If anyone can do questionable and possibly warranty-violating repairs, it's her.
Hey, bro.
Whoa, James. Lookin' good.
Thanks, but I'm not here to flirt right now.
My mom turned me into a smartphone
so I could show I'm responsible enough to get a smartphone,
and it turns out I'm not so smart.
Cool.
I'll have you fixed up in no time.
That'll be 600 bucks.
Six hundred?!
If I had that kind of money, I'd just buy myself a smartphone.
All right, your phone funeral.
Please, sis! He's my key to a new old flip phone.
Fine. If I do this, it'll cost you a pepperoni plate from Foodball Joe's.
And make it vegan.
Uh, anywhere but there.
Me and Foodball Joe kind of had a falling-out.
All right, well, you better find a way to squash it
'cause I can't repair things on an empty stomach.
Ugh. Fine. And fix this up for Max while you're busy doing nothing.
Hey, Foodball Joe! Good seeing you. Nice hat.
Could we get an order of your most delicious vegan pizza food balls?
No, you can't.
Because of your one-star review, I'm going out of business!
What? Pfft. That was a joke.
People these days don't understand the vernacular.
Yeah. One star just means you suck.
Yeah. That's what it means.
And I don't like that,
and I'm not making you food until you change that review
and make it not meaning it sucks.
All right, fine. I'll change it.
There you go. Five stars. You made me a liar.
Now please cook us some pizza balls.
Oh, you want pizza balls. Well, I can't.
The deep fryer thermostat's broken and I can't afford to replace it,
you ruining my business and all.
So unless you know a way to check the temperature of hot liquid--
I don't think you do-- you're not getting pizza balls!
Ah! James, you can't!
It's okay, Max. What's one more scratch?
Jenna's gonna fix me up anyways.
Who's Jenna? She sounds nice.
-Ah!
Okay, I'll go finish your order.
You're gonna be okay. We just gotta call for help.
Just get me back to uBreak iDon't judge.
As long as nothing else happens to me, I think I'll make it.
Order's ready.
Foods!
Could you eat faster, please?
I gotta get home before my mom does.
Ugh, fine.
Hang here, Max, and, uh, don't come running when you hear him screaming.
He's just in excruciating pain.
Whoa! Hey there! Ooh, not my dongle!
-Hey, look out for my SIM card!
Agh! Ooh! Watch out!
How'd it go?
Good. Though your sister has now seen parts of me you'll never see.
How's it going? Feeling responsible?
Oh, yeah, perfect. I'm totally perfect. Not broken at all.
Good for you. Can't wait to see for myself. I'll be home in five.
Uh, click.
I gotta get home!
All right, well, take it sleazy. I don't honor warranties.
Uh. Ah! Bubble wrap.
You okay, man?
No. I have to run back across town without suffering any damage.
Uh, you know, you could just take a rideshare.
Yes!
I need a ride!
Mr. McFly? You drive a rideshare?
Mm-hmm. Principal Loudspeaker fired me.
Apparently, baby pictures that induce vomiting
violate the school's code of conduct.
Well, if you can get me home in the next five minutes--
I'll give you a huge tip.
Tip? Did you just say "tip"?
Ah, yeah!
What are you doing?!
The only way I can get you home in time for that sweet gratuity
is by taking a shortcut.
Ooh!
Hand-over-hand steering.
Watch out! Watch out!
Left turn! Right turn! Flip!
Back it up. Back it--
Look out!
Huh?
My tip!
Oh. The case worked.
Let's hope it's rated for dramatic falls on to concrete.
Huh?
I'm flying!
Huh? Oh!
Huh. Look at you. Not a scratch.
Yep. I'm Mr. Responsible.
And proud new owner of a smartphone, am I right?
Not until I check your data and make sure you're being totally honest.
Of course I'm being honest.
Hmm?
Hmm.
Turn around.
Oh. Your tamper sticker says you've got some water damage.
What? No, I didn't get wet.
I got cracked, fried, melted, and chewed, but no water.
I don't want a smartphone anymore.
Man, you were right. This phone sucks!