-[theme music plays] -[bird chirps]
[chomps]
[burps]
[sniffs]
-[glass breaks] -[Max shrieks]
-[grunts, panicked breathing] -Go, go, go, go, go! Agh!
See? Everything worked out.
[laughs]
Aw. I wanna be a letter.
[burps]
[James and Max snoring]
[yawns] Now, that was the perfect sleepover. Right, Max?
Aw, heck yeah!
And I slept like a failed genetic experiment
gifted with human intelligence and voice.
Well, that's an oddly specific metaphor, considering that's exactly what you are!
[growls]
And you're ripping my stuff.
But I'm just too gosh-darn thrilled with our perfect sleepover to care!
[yells]
Our game time was perfect. The snacks were perfect.
And Mrs. Doubtcar was the perfect movie rental.
Ha, I mean, what a twist!
I know! And his dad was a car the whole time!
[grunts]
Hey, I threw it out the window.
And now to complete our perfect sleepover...
[toilet flushes]
[both] With perfect breakfast!
[James] We got eggies, taters, and to finish it off,
what no breakfast can be complete without: perfect toast!
Yeah!
♪ What's full of wheat germ And loaded with yeast? ♪
♪ Fün der bread It's for humans and beasts! ♪
♪ Makes a good sandwich But is better as toast! ♪
[Max] ♪ Toasting makes a bread Tastier than most ♪
[both] ♪ So toast it! Toast it! ♪
♪ Put that slice in the slot! ♪
♪ Toast it! Toast it! ♪
Ooh!
♪ Watch your fingers, it's hot! ♪
♪ Toast it! Toast it! ♪
♪ To have yourself a treat! ♪
♪ Because toasting Old time Fün der bread ♪
♪ Makes it edible and sweet! ♪
-[toaster quacks] -[screams]
Our perfect sleepover is ruined!
All I wanted was for us to have the perfect sleepover.
And you ruined perfect breakfast.
[grunts]
Ooh, ow, ow!
[sighs] I'm sorry, but why do we have to put up with toasters?
Even though they have seven different heat levels,
they'll still ignore all of them and burn the bread anyway.
Yeah, what's up, toasters?
Man hasn't changed the toaster in a hundred years.
How is it that we have every smart appliance
from watches, to refrigerators, but no one's created a smart toaster?
Why has no one created a smart toaster?
Because it's our destiny!
I may not know exactly how toasters or electricity works,
but I know we must have the technology
to allow the toaster to sense when the bread is at its perfect toast level.
Like artificial intelligence.
Yes, like artificial intelligence.
Together, we'll create a new, revolutionary toaster.
Yes!
One that can know exactly when the toast is done.
Together, we'll change the world!
[screams, laughs]
Tell 'em like you tell 'em.
Now all we need is an AI chip that can make this toaster as smart as that fridge.
[beeping]
[chomps]
[growls]
[heaves]
Great work, Max.
Now to change the world.
Oh, no, oh, no, what do we do, what do we do?!
[screams]
[both scream]
[giggles]
Hm. So that's how babies are made.
[giggles]
Oh. He's... so beautiful.
He has your eyes.
[whispers] I'm gonna call you Toasty.
Aw, he looks like a Toasty.
And you're gonna make the best toast the world has ever seen.
[giggles, blows raspberry]
[giggles, whimpers]
-[gasps] -[gasps]
[both] Toasty, Toasty, Toasty!
-[quacks] -[shocked gibberish]
Oh, goodbye, perfect Christmas! [groaning gibberish]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's just a baby.
Could you make perfect toast when you were a baby?
Honey, look, we created life.
Interesting.
Now let's see how it feels about electrocution.
No, you couldn't.
Well, not to worry.
If we raise Toasty right,
I'm sure he'll grow up to be the perfect, little smart toaster.
Isn't that right? [baby talk]
[deep voice] Ready when you are, co-dad.
What are you doing?
Being a dad! [clears throat]
[deep voice] Subject appears to be alive and of toaster origin.
[scoffs] Indeed! Now, come on, Papa-two, it's time for Toasty's first lesson.
[bird chirping]
[chomps]
[burps]
♪ My Toasty, toast it ♪
♪ To make yourself a treat ♪
♪ Because toasting Old time Fün der bread ♪
♪ Makes it edible and sweet! ♪
Ah.
[giggles]
[deep voice] Reacts positively to bad singing.
Well, he also likes your cooking.
How fresh!
-[giggles] -Okay, Toasty, let's try this again.
-Mwah. -[giggles]
-Aw. -[cooing]
[grunting]
[quacks]
[giggles]
Great job, Toasty!
[yells]
[screeches]
[deep voice] Failure.
[gasps] Careful, he'll hear you!
So?
So, hearing he failed can emotionally ruin him
and we'll never get great toast.
But why would you try and make better toast,
if you're already telling him he's doing the perfect toasty making?
You obviously have no idea how to parent.
Before a child can succeed, you need to make them believe they can.
No, no, no, no, that's all wrong.
First, you stare at them when they're asleep and awake.
You just always stare at them.
Then you put them through rigorous and often painful tests.
And most importantly, you only call them by their experiment number
to prevent any emotional attachment.
[deep voice] Okay, test subject 00001. Let's try that again.
Toasty isn't some experiment that accidentally became sentient.
What?
This is a living, breathing toaster that we just so happened to give life to.
And I'm gonna make sure his life is a happy and healthy one.
[coughs]
So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go give Toasty his bath.
[splash]
Toasty hated his bath.
[jaunty music plays]
-[slurping] -[chewing]
-[roars] -[screams]
[grunts]
[cooing]
[grunts]
[whistling]
[babbles, grunts]
Oh, what now, he can't catch it because you're the one with the parent issue.
[Max] He didn't catch it, the kid doesn't have hands, terrible!
[growls]
[whimpers] Ha?
[grunts]
[whimpers]
[babbles, groans]
[yells]
[whimpers]
[yells]
[bell tolls]
[Max] James, this is your fault.
[James] The toaster right?
[both talking over each other]
[whimpers, growls]
-He's a little baby boy! -Scuba diver's on you!
[James and Max scream]
[growls]
[grunting, yelling]
Man, that montage really messed up our kid.
What are you talking about?
-[Toasty grunts] -He's just playing.
Either that or Toasty's starting to be negatively affected by our disagreements.
See? Science doesn't lie.
Except for the moon landing.
Well, it's your fault we've been arguing.
According to my calculations, it's your fault.
See, look, it's in my calculations.
What? I'm the positive parent here.
All you do is put him in positions to fail.
Well, maybe he's failing because he takes after you!
How dare you! I've never failed at anything in my life.
Other than choosing you as a friend.
[gasps] Well, maybe we shouldn't be friends.
Well, maybe we shouldn't.
-[explosion] -[woman screams]
[explosion]
Relax. Toasty's just expressing himself.
-[explosion] -[man 1] Oh, my car!
He's just living his truth.
-[explosion] -[man 2] My house!
It's okay, Toasty, you be you.
[explosion]
[man 3] My legs! That toaster took my legs!
I'm all out of platitudes.
Toasty, stop!
Wait, you'll stifle his creativity.
What if destroying things could be the key to perfect toast?
-[car alarm beeping] -[grunting]
Huh?
No more playing, Toasty! [yells]
[yells]
[grunting]
Time to come... home?
[ice cream truck jingle plays]
Ice cream man?
[jingle continues]
A new phone! Thank you so much, you kind souls--
Ice cream man!
-[screams] Mail, mail, mail, mail, mail! -[growls]
Ha! Run, Toasty!
[grunting]
-Hiya! -[tires screech]
[car alarm beeping]
[gasps] Huh?
[growling]
[panting]
Toasty, this behavior is completely unacceptable.
[growls]
Come with me and we'll do more tests on you.
Don't listen to him, Toasty. You just need to channel your energy.
Come with me and you'll grow to make perfect toast.
[growls, hisses]
-[yelps] -Whoa!
[dramatic music plays]
[growls] Ya!
-[yelps] -Whoa!
Yes! You chose me!
-[Toasty grunts] -[both scream]
[evil giggle]
[grunts]
-No! -[grunts]
[groans]
[gasps]
[grunting]
[gasps] Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Are you hurt, Max?
Oh, uh... possibly internally.
[gasps]
What? What is this? What is this?
Something your father clearly never gave you.
A hug.
[wails]
[coughs]
I'm so cold.
Max, you're cold-blooded.
Oh, yeah!
I'm sorry. This is all my fault.
No, it's our fault.
We let our parenting get in the way of what's really important.
Perfect breakfast.
And us. It's not perfect breakfast without each other.
Ew, why are you so sweaty?
It's not sweat. [chewing]
I got hungry!
[groans]
[explosion]
How many slices do you think he has left?
Hmm. Three.
But two of those are end pieces and everyone knows those aren't any good.
[dramatic music plays]
[babbles]
Huh? [grunts]
Give it up, Toasty, we have you outnumbered.
[babbles] Huh?
[evil giggle]
[grunting]
[yells]
[grunts]
[evil giggle]
Where's he going?
[Max] The Fün der bread factory?
Oh, man, he's gonna' love it there. All the bread he could possibly want.
With that much ammo, he could burn this whole town to the ground!
-[coughs, groans] -Max, are you gonna be okay?
Go get our boy.
[stomach grumbles]
Aw. Hungy.
Toast!
[eerie music plays]
[evil giggle]
[grunts] Huh?
Toasty, please! It's our fault you're this way, but you don't have to be.
[growls]
♪ What's full of wheat germ And loaded with yeast? ♪
[grunting]
♪ Fün der bread It's for humans and beasts ♪
♪ Makes a good sandwich But is better as toast ♪
[winces]
♪ Because Toasty makes our bread Tastier than most ♪
[giggles]
♪ So Toasty, my Toasty ♪
♪ Put that slice in the slot ♪
[giggles]
♪ Toasty, my Toasty ♪
[evil giggle]
Huh?
[inhales] ♪ You're the best toaster We've got ♪ [sniffs]
[wind blows]
[bell tolls]
[dramatic music plays]
It's perfect.
No!
[toaster quacks]
Well, I guess we know why no one's created a smart toaster.
[both eating loudly]
[eerie music plays]
[evil giggle]
[eerie music plays]