1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,600 I knew you could to it! 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,960 Cheese! 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,080 Cheese! 4 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,080 LAUGHTER 5 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:10,600 O, reit. 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,360 Hello, Jake. 7 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,160 Hello, Dadi. 8 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,120 Last night of freedom. 9 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,200 Let's go out tonight, before the show? A date. 10 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Like the old days. 11 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520 FIREWORKS BANG 12 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,440 HE GROANS 13 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,280 Let's go! Come on! 14 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,200 How did he die again? 15 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,800 It was an accident. 16 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,560 The police aren't quite sure, but 17 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:44,480 what we do know is that he fell over and hit his head. 18 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,680 I fall over and hit my head all the time, 19 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,640 and I don't die. 20 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,320 I know, love, but this was... 21 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,240 It's incredibly unusual. 22 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,720 It's stupid. 23 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,600 I know this must be very hard for you, Jake. 24 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,200 What time is Dadi picking me up, then? 25 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,720 Sweetheart, 26 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,320 he won't be coming today. 27 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,080 Dadi's going to be feeling really sad about what's happened, isn't he? 28 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:22,520 So Llinos and I think that we should wait a bit 29 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,320 before deciding what happens next. 30 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:30,200 Especially because we think this will make YOU very sad as well. 31 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,039 And, of course, we're all hoping 32 00:01:32,039 --> 00:01:34,640 you'll be able to move in with him as planned. 33 00:01:37,039 --> 00:01:40,080 But we can't promise that right now. 34 00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:43,880 Jake? 35 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,920 Whatever happens, I want you to know 36 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,360 you're safe here with me. 37 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,000 Does this make sense, Jake? 38 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,039 They still have my toys. 39 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,960 I want them back. They're mine. 40 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,320 SHE SIGHS 41 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,800 He doesn't believe us, does he? 42 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,520 Well, the last thing we want is for Jake to think 43 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,560 they don't want him any more. 44 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,440 Do you think Gabriel might consider some contact? 45 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,520 A video, perhaps? 46 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,640 I'm sure he would but I haven't been able to speak to him directly yet. 47 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,240 Understandably. 48 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,200 Do we know how he's feeling about Jake? 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,840 I think Jake's the last thing on his mind right now. 50 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,400 Which is a bit of a concern. 51 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,800 His partner's just died. 52 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,240 I know that... And he barely knows Jake. 53 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,000 Yeah, but still, I'm not convinced we should be allowing any contact 54 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,720 until we're absolutely certain the adoption's moving forward. 55 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,079 This will be hugely traumatic for Gabriel. 56 00:02:54,079 --> 00:02:58,240 Hang on now, Gabriel's ability to parent is not in question here. 57 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,920 He was approved. 58 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,040 As part of a stable, loving couple, 59 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,320 which is no longer the case now, is it? 60 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,760 But Jake needs to hear something from his dadi, otherwise... 61 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,120 We don't know for certain he's actually going to be his dadi 62 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,440 now, though, do we? OK, it's all right. 63 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,600 It's great to hear you talking so passionately about Gabe and Jake. 64 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,320 But we do need to take the heat out of this 65 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,440 in order to move things forward. 66 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,880 So I'm going to suggest that we reconvene 67 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,280 in a couple of weeks, after the funeral. 68 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,800 Gabe? 69 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,800 KNOCK ON DOOR 70 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,040 Let me do that for you. 71 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,520 Do you want me to move that? 72 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,880 No. 73 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,040 Sorry I've not been much help with the organising. 74 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,640 Are you sure you're all right with the chapel service? 75 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,200 He's your son, Sandra. 76 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,840 He's your partner. 77 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,440 We never got married. 78 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,400 We should have got married. 79 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,880 And, anyway, it's a good thing you took control because I would have 80 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,120 probably turned it into a musical. 81 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,600 Do you think I should go and see the coroner? 82 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,640 You know, after this is done? Just to see what's happening there, 83 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,480 cos the police have been so useless, haven't they? 84 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,760 I mean, it can't have been an accident, can it? 85 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,720 Sit down, would you, Gabe? No, I'm fine. I know, but I'm not. 86 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,360 And you're getting on my tits. 87 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,880 Sorry. Don't be. 88 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,000 I'm getting on my tits as well, and I don't have any. 89 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,960 SANDRA LAUGHS 90 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,080 Is your dad coming here? 91 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,800 I told him to go straight there. 92 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,920 I didn't want him to feel, erm... 93 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,360 ..uncomfortable, you know? 94 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,840 Will Jake be there? 95 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,800 Erm, 96 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,400 no, I don't think so. 97 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,000 He's still coming, though, isn't he? 98 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,000 I can't think about that right now, Sandra. 99 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,560 Course. 100 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400 Oh, my boy. 101 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,200 DOORBELL CHIMES 102 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,640 Your carriage awaits, my ladies. 103 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,400 They wanted to walk with you. 104 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,840 BERWYN SIGHS 105 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,720 It's my dad! 106 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,080 Berwyn? 107 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,640 You mind stopping a moment, drive? 108 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,120 Emrys, dowch yn y car. 109 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,520 Na. Na, wir i chi. 110 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,160 I'm so very sorry, Sandra. 111 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,000 He was such a...a wonderful boy. 112 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,520 CAR DOOR CLOSES 113 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:32,159 # Guide me, O thou great Jehovah 114 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:38,760 # Pilgrim through this barren land 115 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:44,120 # I am weak but Thou art mighty 116 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:50,520 # Hold me with Thy powerful hand 117 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,520 # Bread of heaven 118 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,960 # Bread of heaven 119 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,400 # Feed me now and evermore 120 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,040 # Evermore! 121 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,920 # Feed me now 122 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:13,720 # And evermore. # 123 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,240 Who puts gherkins in a sandwich? 124 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,800 I do. 125 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,240 Oh... 126 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,480 Sorry. 127 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,440 You're all right. Very nice, Sandra. 128 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,640 I must say, I'm rather partial to a gherkin myself. 129 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,480 HE CHUCKLES 130 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,320 How old were you when Mam died? 131 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,000 I was your age. 132 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,440 I'm so sorry, Dad. 133 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,080 Me, too. 134 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,920 How is he? 135 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,760 Much like you, I imagine. 136 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,440 It's difficult for him to get his head round. 137 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Take your time. 138 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,760 Don't rush into anything. 139 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,320 Claire. 140 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,800 Tell him... 141 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,680 I will. 142 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,760 Want a light? I didn't know you smoked. 143 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,360 Neither did I. 144 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,160 Well, this is shit. 145 00:10:58,560 --> 00:10:59,800 Yep. 146 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,320 Do we need to talk about Jake? 147 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,440 Not now. But... We don't need to talk about it now. 148 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:11,600 OK. 149 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,800 You're the social worker. 150 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,480 Not today, Gabe. 151 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,840 Gabriel? Oh...! 152 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,120 Oh, I'm sorry. You remember Jackie? 153 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,960 Yes. I remember Jackie. 154 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,880 Well, I'll be off, then. 155 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680 OK. 156 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,520 Oh, er... 157 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,160 I'll leave you to it. I'm sure you two must have a lot to talk about. 158 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,960 Though it's...it's probably for the best. 159 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,400 What is? If the boy, erm... 160 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,240 Jake? 161 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,800 Yes. If Jake doesn't come any more. 162 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,960 Who said he wasn't coming any more? 163 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,440 Well, I've just been talking to Sandra 164 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,480 and I just assumed that, 165 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,880 er, it would be too difficult. 166 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,840 Yeah, he's still coming, Dad. 167 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,400 Oh. 168 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,920 OK, OK. I just, er... 169 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,120 I just misunderstood, that's all. 170 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,280 I'll walk you out, Emrys. I'm leaving now too. 171 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,800 Why do you think it will be too difficult? Let's not talk... 172 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,440 No. I want to know. 173 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,760 Why? 174 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,840 Oh, Gabriel, I... Just tell me. 175 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,640 I'm interested. 176 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,960 Well, because, well... 177 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,400 ..he's been through so much already, hasn't he, poor dab? 178 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,920 And, and now this. 179 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,240 Erm... 180 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,080 It'll be very difficult to fix him now. 181 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,720 Especially on your own. 182 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,160 BELL TOLLS 183 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,160 How long were you and your Danny together? 184 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,080 Three years. 185 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,760 Short years. 186 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,240 What about you, sweetheart? Anyone special? 187 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,440 There isn't anyone special enough. 188 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,680 TRAIN RATTLES ABOVE 189 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,560 DOG BARKS 190 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,200 DOG WHINES 191 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,200 GABRIEL GRUNTS 192 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,320 DOOR OPENS 193 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,480 Gabriel? 194 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000 HE COUGHS 195 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,440 Hiya, love. Thanks for coming. 196 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,800 But I thought it best to get the ball rolling 197 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,000 because I think Jake should move in this weekend. 198 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,760 Oh. And I know you'll probably think it's too soon, 199 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,120 but honestly, I am fine. Gabriel... OK, well, not fine, obviously, 200 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,040 but well enough for him to come here because... 201 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,320 Gabe, can I just take my bloody coat off first? 202 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,040 Sure. 203 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,600 Sure. Of course. 204 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,080 Not sitting? 205 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,280 Thing is, Gabriel... 206 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,560 ..I'm afraid we can't just plough on as if nothing's happened. 207 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,240 Well, I understand that... Wait. Just let me finish. 208 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,760 I'm meeting with Jake's team tomorrow to explore our options. 209 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,080 OK. But make it clear that I want him to move in sooner rather than... 210 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,119 It's not as simple as that, love. Why not? 211 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,079 We'll have to go back to panel. 212 00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:11,119 And I'll have to write an addendum report. 213 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,760 But I've already been assessed. I know that, but... 214 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,599 ..your situation's different now, isn't it? 215 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:23,079 Do you not think I can do this on my own either? I didn't say that. 216 00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:25,119 Am I going to lose Jake as well? 217 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,359 Hey, hey, we're not there yet. 218 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,120 And I promise, I am going to do everything I can 219 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,480 to make sure that doesn't happen. 220 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,120 Mm. 221 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,600 But I'm afraid Llinos is going to have to come round next week 222 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,040 and start collecting his things 223 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,200 because he's been asking for them, so... 224 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,880 But hopefully, it'll just be temporary. 225 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,680 Just until we can sort all this out. 226 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,280 And the best thing you can do after that is rest. 227 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,360 Do whatever you need to get through the day. 228 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,360 And give yourself time to grieve, 229 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,160 whatever form that takes. 230 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,960 I mean, for what it's worth, 231 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,760 the best advice anyone ever gave me about grief... 232 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,560 ..there are no rules. 233 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,520 MUSIC: Darkjewel by Gallops 234 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,040 ECHOING BREATHING 235 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,080 GABRIEL GROANS 236 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,800 LOUD SNIFF 237 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,880 MUSIC: Intro to Mad World by Gary Jules 238 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:31,200 # All around me are familiar faces 239 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,760 # Worn out places 240 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,960 # Worn out faces 241 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,720 # Bright and early for their daily races 242 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,520 # Going nowhere 243 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,800 # Going nowhere 244 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:53,360 # Their tears are filling up their glasses 245 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,760 # No expression 246 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,520 # No expression 247 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,200 # Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow 248 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,840 # No tomorrow 249 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,600 # No tomorrow 250 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,680 # And I find it kind of funny 251 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,360 # I find it kind of sad 252 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,960 # The dreams in which I'm dying 253 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,960 # Are the best I've ever had 254 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,600 # I find it hard to tell you 255 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,360 # I find it hard to take 256 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:32,160 # When people run in circles it's a very, very... # 257 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,400 ALL: # Mad world 258 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,920 # Mad world 259 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,160 # Children waiting for the day they feel good 260 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,720 # Happy birthday 261 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,920 # Happy birthday 262 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,480 # Made to feel the way that every child should 263 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,320 # Sit and listen 264 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,720 # Sit and listen 265 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,040 # Went to school and I was very nervous 266 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,160 # No-one knew me 267 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,560 # No-one knew me 268 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,520 # Hello, teacher Tell me, what's my lesson? 269 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,120 # Look right through me 270 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,760 # Look right through me 271 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,880 # And I find it kind of funny 272 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,840 # I find it kind of sad 273 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,440 # The dreams in which I'm dying 274 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,280 # Are the best I've ever had 275 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,000 # I find it hard to tell you 276 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,680 # I find it hard to take 277 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,560 # When people run in circles 278 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,360 # I find it kind of sad 279 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:55,560 # The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had 280 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,400 # I find it hard tell you 281 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,080 # I find it hard to take 282 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,440 # When people run in circles 283 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,360 # It's a very, very 284 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,880 # Mad world 285 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,280 # Mad world 286 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,400 # Enlargen your world 287 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:29,480 # Mad world. # 288 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,960 CHEERING, APPLAUSE 289 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,360 AUDIO DISTORTS AND ECHOES 290 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,000 And what type of sex did you have? 291 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,720 Anal. 292 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,680 Do you know if he had HIV or not? 293 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,200 I don't know. 294 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,160 Were you sexually assaulted? 295 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,040 No. 296 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,600 Jake? 297 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,440 Jake. Gabriel. 298 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,360 Jake. Jake? 299 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,960 Gabriel. Jake! 300 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:56,080 I'm so sorry, we thought you were someone else. 301 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,040 Come on. 302 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,400 HE WAILS 303 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,480 HE SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY 304 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,880 You were the one that said there are no rules. 305 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,640 I didn't think you'd end up in A&E, for God's sake! 306 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,480 They will understand, though. 307 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,120 Won't they? 308 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,840 After everything I've been through? 309 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,800 It's not about you, Gabriel. 310 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,560 It's about Jake and what he's been through. 311 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,320 Cos whatever's happened to you, 312 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,440 he has been through a hell of a lot worse. 313 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,800 The only thing that matters to them is whether or not you can be trusted 314 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,320 to take care of a boy with Jake's needs. 315 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,080 On your own. 316 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,240 Cos who's to say that next time life throws you a curveball 317 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,640 and, believe me, there will be many, 318 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,240 that you won't fall off the wagon again with Jake in your care? 319 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,160 But it won't happen again, I promise... 320 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:54,640 It can't happen again! 321 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,840 But the problem now is the panel will need to see at least two years' 322 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,320 stability after relapse before they will approve a match. 323 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,280 But it wasn't a relapse. It was a relapse. 324 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,280 It was your default position to stress. 325 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,520 To grief. Your default position was to use again. 326 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,640 But I want to be his dad. 327 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,560 I can be his dad. 328 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,120 But they'll have to look into other options. 329 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,960 Especially as you can't prove to us you'll be able... To us? 330 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,560 Yeah. 331 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,560 To us. 332 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,520 SHE SIGHS 333 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,280 Look, Gabriel, sort yourself out. 334 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,400 Whatever it takes. 335 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,800 Grief counselling, therapy. 336 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,920 In the meantime, we've agreed it would be a good idea, 337 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,480 as well as letterbox contact, 338 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,320 for you to record a short video message for Jake. 339 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,840 Something acknowledging how difficult this has all been. 340 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,320 Because we need to make absolutely sure he knows 341 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,560 that this wasn't all just some elaborate lie 342 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,840 and that you've rejected him. Is that what he thinks? 343 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,320 That little boy has had no reason to trust anyone, so... 344 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,800 So, what? 345 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,120 He thinks we're just making it up? That we... 346 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,040 ..that I don't want him any more? 347 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,320 Oh, God, does he not want me any more? 348 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,280 It's only fair that you know 349 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,400 he has asked us to look into other adopters. 350 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,720 So what's the point in me fighting for him, then? 351 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,320 Because he is not capable of knowing what he wants. 352 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,800 Because he's just a little boy, Gabriel. 353 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,560 I mean, in his head, he thought he was going to have two daddies. 354 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,680 And one of them died. 355 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,200 And the moment he experienced that loss, 356 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,800 another catastrophic loss... 357 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,960 ..you didn't show up for him either. 358 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,440 But that is because... I am just saying how it will feel to him. 359 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,640 But he can't know what he needs, he's just a child. 360 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,360 So don't take it personally. 361 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:07,000 But only you can decide if there is something worth fighting for. 362 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,800 You think it's hopeless, don't you? 363 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,120 I don't know. 364 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,600 But I've already lost my son. 365 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,240 So I would never forgive you if you didn't give it your best shot. 366 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,120 And you're not going to be on your own are you, 367 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,840 you twat? 368 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,680 Hi, Jake, it's Dadi here. 369 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,480 I don't know about you, but I'm finding this so weird. 370 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,040 Sometimes all I want to do is scream. 371 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,880 And if you're feeling anything like I am, 372 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,080 you'll be feeling very sad and confused. 373 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,600 Because this is an incredibly strange 374 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,560 and difficult situation. 375 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,880 But I want you to know that I really haven't 376 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,880 stopped thinking about you and I still love you very much. 377 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,360 And I hope, more than anything, that I'll get to see you again very soon. 378 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,080 Oh, and give my love to Billy for me. 379 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,520 GAME MUSIC BLARES 380 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,280 So I'm feeling great, actually. 381 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:37,000 I mean, I know that it's early days, but I have so much energy. 382 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,960 And I've been thinking, 383 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,080 just because there are five stages of grief, it doesn't mean 384 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,360 that we all have to go through every single one of them, does it? 385 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,520 And what are those stages? 386 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,440 Well, er, denial... 387 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,480 ..anger, bargaining. 388 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,000 I'm just reading the poster behind you. 389 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,640 You do know that, don't you? 390 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,280 And where are you on that spectrum, Gabriel? 391 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,880 See, that's the thing. 392 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,360 I don't think I'm on it any more. 393 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,440 OK, but if you had to put yourself somewhere, 394 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,880 just as a thought-experiment, where would that be? 395 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,280 Honestly, I'm not on it. 396 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,360 Because all I want to do is start our family - my family. 397 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,760 I've got so much energy and love that I could burst. 398 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,440 And I want to be able to focus that love somewhere, 399 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,120 which is why I'm doing everything I can to prove that I can parent Jake. 400 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,920 Cos I've never felt so invincible. 401 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,120 That's how I feel. 402 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,640 Yeah, invincible. 403 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,200 So there you go, Sharon, I'm not on the spectrum, am I? 404 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,840 In fact, I am shitting all over your spectrum 405 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,680 because invincibility isn't anywhere near that spectrum, is it? 406 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,160 It is, Gabriel. 407 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,560 No, it isn't. Look again. 408 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,080 Oh, yes, sorry. 409 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,040 Acceptance, isn't it? 410 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,040 No, Gabriel. 411 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,600 It's denial. 412 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,640 Fuck. 413 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,400 How do you think that made me feel? 414 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,560 How can his death be deemed as a death by misadventure? 415 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,800 I mean "misadventure" - what the fuck? 416 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,040 It makes dying almost sound fun, doesn't it? 417 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,160 As if we're all missing out. 418 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,920 Are you clear what "misadventure" means, Gabriel? 419 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,600 Unintended consequence of an intentional act. 420 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,560 Right. 421 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,160 All I want to do is catch the fucker 422 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,000 who performed that intentional act 423 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,200 which unintentionally killed my Andy, 424 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,520 and unintentionally kill him as well. 425 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,160 OK. 426 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,360 But don't worry, I won't be able to do that, because... 427 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,680 We have very little to go on, I'm afraid. 428 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,320 Our only hope is if somebody comes forward in the future. 429 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,000 Come back, Crimewatch, all is forgiven. 430 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,360 You know, I thought I saw my dad on Crimewatch once. 431 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,680 For a split second I thought he'd robbed a bank in Milton Keynes. 432 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,800 I even checked the calendar to see where he was that day. 433 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,720 Do you want to talk about your dad? 434 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,280 No, you're all right. 435 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,120 But Andy didn't deserve it, though, did he? 436 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,160 He was a saint. 437 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,520 If anyone was going to die first, it should have been me. 438 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,800 Then I find myself wondering if that's why he died - 439 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,520 because he was a saint. 440 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,240 Only the good die young, all that. 441 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,480 Or if Andy's death was a punishment from God for my past behaviour? 442 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,280 And I don't even believe in God! 443 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,800 And then I feel even more guilty 444 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,440 because I've somehow managed to make Andy's death all about me again. 445 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,560 He can't even be centre stage in his own demise. 446 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,120 Poor bugger. 447 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,000 And then all I want is to hear him tell me 448 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,560 that I'm being a self-centred egotistical twat again. 449 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,520 So I find myself pleading with They upstairs - 450 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,000 because if there is a God they're probably nonbinary, right? - 451 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,320 and I find myself saying things like, 452 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,679 "If I promise to stop masturbating, can I please wake up 453 00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:19,080 "from this nightmare and find Andy coming out of the shower 454 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,080 "like Bobby Ewing in Dallas?" 455 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,199 Is any of this normal? 456 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,080 CLOCK TICKS 457 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,400 This is all perfectly normal. 458 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,680 GABRIEL SCREAMS 459 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,240 HE LAUGHS 460 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,680 THEY BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY 461 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,400 Jake? Have you seen my...? 462 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,680 GABRIEL: I really haven't stopped thinking about you 463 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,000 and I still love you very much. 464 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,680 And I hope, more than anything, that I'll get to see you again very soon. 465 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,480 Oh, and give my love to Billy for me. 466 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,920 You've come a really long way. 467 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,800 I don't feel like I have. 468 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,280 You have. 469 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,240 You did the work, Gabe. 470 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:01,000 You're financially solvent. 471 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,400 Only because Andy ignored me and paid the life insurance anyway. 472 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,160 But you've clearly demonstrated you are committed 473 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,280 to being the best dad you can be to Jake. 474 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,560 Which is why we think it's time we took it back to panel. 475 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,360 What? Really? Really. 476 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,920 That is, if you still want Jake? 477 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,800 Yes. Yes, of course I still want Jake. 478 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,360 Which is excellent news because he's been asking for you. 479 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,000 He has? He has. 480 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,560 Fuck off. 481 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,000 Please don't say that to panel, will you? 482 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,120 Thank you. 483 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,680 It's not a done deal yet. 484 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,640 I mean, just because you want it, just because Jake wants it, 485 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,800 doesn't mean that panel will think it's a good idea. 486 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:53,600 Hey. 487 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,520 They're ready for you. 488 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,600 Just be prepared, 489 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,760 because they won't go easy on you in there. 490 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:17,880 So, I suppose in the end 491 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,280 it comes down to a matter of balancing risk. 492 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,360 Is it better for Jake's wellbeing to remain in the care system, 493 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,120 deny the parent he's asked for 494 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,000 and all the pain and rejection that would bring? 495 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,400 Or are we perhaps risking more if we approve this match? 496 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,040 Because if you can't cope as a single adopter, Gabriel, 497 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,000 then Jake's suffering could be greater. 498 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,760 Of course it's a risk. 499 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,160 Believe you me, for such a long time, 500 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,040 it's been the first thing I think about when I wake up. 501 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,800 And the last thing I think about before I sleep. 502 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,720 If I sleep. 503 00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:02,680 And, like most of you, I've had so many doubts. 504 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,320 What if I fail Jake? 505 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,720 Again. 506 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,160 And how can I know that fighting for this is the right decision? 507 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:13,880 But that's the point, I can't. 508 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,960 How can I possibly know what's right? 509 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,640 How can you know? 510 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,400 It's impossible. 511 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,920 This isn't science, these are emotions. 512 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,080 Relationships, vulnerabilities. 513 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,920 We're all just humans trying to figure out how to get through life. 514 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,400 So we can't know. 515 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,760 But we can feel. 516 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,600 And all we can ever do is go on the information we have 517 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,720 and what that does to our gut. 518 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,000 Our heart. 519 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,280 Here. 520 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:56,800 And I've messed up a lot. 521 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,280 But, my God... 522 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,880 ..the intention to love him... 523 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,440 ..and love him and love him... 524 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,440 ..is there. 525 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,120 And it's not just me, I have the most extraordinary support network, 526 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,840 who love Jake as well. 527 00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:24,120 And who, despite my flaws, 528 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,120 love me too. 529 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,160 And they want this to work out more than anything. 530 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,200 I have my village. 531 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,520 And so my gut is crying out that this is, 532 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,640 in all probability, the best thing for Jake. 533 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,880 Love is the best thing. 534 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,400 But you're right, it's a risk. 535 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,080 And it's scary. 536 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,040 And you have to listen to your own guts. 537 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,680 But if I'd listened to my fears about all the things 538 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,960 that could go wrong in my life... 539 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,760 ..I would never have come out. 540 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,720 I'd never have met Andy. 541 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,560 I would never have met Jake. 542 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,880 And, yeah, approving us might be the wrong decision. 543 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,080 But it might also end up being 544 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560 the best thing that's ever happened to both of us. 545 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,400 HE SIGHS 546 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,240 DOOR OPENS 547 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,120 Thank you, Gabriel, for everything that you've shared with us. 548 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,240 We've had to think really hard about this. 549 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,960 It is a high-risk decision. 550 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,880 But we've come to the unanimous decision 551 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,960 to approve the match. 552 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,640 You've got a brilliant support network, Gabriel. 553 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,800 And you've got a good 'un there too. 554 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,000 GABRIEL CRIES 555 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,040 Good boy. 556 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,640 Good boy. 557 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,520 PHONE RINGS 558 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,040 Gabriel? 559 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,960 Ia. 560 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,000 Dad? 561 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,760 MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES 562 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,640 KNOCK ON WINDOW 563 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,160 Here you are. 564 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,320 So... 565 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,800 ..just one more thing. 566 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:02,000 Will there ever not be just one more thing? 567 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,560 Welcome to parenting. 568 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,560 GABRIEL CHUCKLES 569 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,920 We need to talk about meeting birth mum. 570 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,720 You've agreed, Gabe. 571 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,880 And she's come a really long way this last year. 572 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,760 She's moved area for a fresh start. 573 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,080 And she's committed to getting herself clean. 574 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,480 She's been through a lot too. 575 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,120 I don't really care what she's been through. Jake's my priority. 576 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,360 Which is exactly why you should meet her. 577 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,560 You'll be able to answer his questions about her in the future. 578 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:39,800 We'll control everything. 579 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,280 We'll agree on the questions you ask each other beforehand, 580 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,280 things you'll want to know about Jake, 581 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,000 and she'll want to know about... 582 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,840 ..well, you. 583 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,720 And the kind of life you'll be able to give him. 584 00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,120 Just think how nice it will be one day, 585 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,000 when you're able to say to Jake... 586 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,280 .."I met your mum once." 587 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,760 I-I didn't know if I was supposed to come in or not 588 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,000 cos they said at the desk that Llinos is already here, 589 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,040 but they obviously got that wrong, didn't they, 590 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,720 cos she's not here, is she? 591 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,560 Fuck. Shouldn't have come in yet, should I? 592 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,920 I should have waited outside and now I've made this really weird. 593 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,480 Becky... 594 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,040 ..it's fine. You're very welcome. 595 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,920 I'm sure Llinos will be here in a moment. 596 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,200 No, I wouldn't bet on it. You know as well as I do, 597 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,440 social workers are a waste of fucking space. 598 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,240 Where's your social worker? 599 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:41,960 Erm, I'm a social worker. 600 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,480 Fuck. Really? 601 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,080 I thought you were his special friend or something, 602 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,560 like they offered me, I was offered but, erm, 603 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,160 I didn't want it cos it's no-one else's business, is it? 604 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,120 You know, this, it's just mine... Ours. 605 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,800 Shit. Sorry. I'm sure you're not a waste of space. 606 00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:05,120 Is she a waste of space? 607 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,280 No. Good. That's good, then. 608 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,600 God, bit bloody formal, this, isn't it? 609 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,240 And what's with all the plastic bottles? 610 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,720 You know, like, they fine you for screwing up the recycling 611 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,640 and then they give you all this plastic shit. 612 00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,440 I thought we were meeting in reception? 613 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,160 Yeah, you weren't fucking there, were you? 614 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,640 And I've been making a right tit out myself. 615 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,000 Come charging in like a paedophile in a playground! 616 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,520 Anyway, you're here now, so are we sitting down, then, or what? 617 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,080 OK. 618 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:33,440 So, this is your opportunity to share any information 619 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,000 you have about Jake. 620 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,560 You got the questions from the adopter, didn't you, Becky? 621 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,160 Doesn't he have a name? 622 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,280 Yeah. But as discussed, he'll be known as the adopter. Why? 623 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,640 In case I look him up on Facebook or something and try and kill him? 624 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,400 Nobody's suggesting that. 625 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,520 Because "adopter" makes him sound like the RoboCop 626 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,240 or Terminator or something. 627 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,520 It's what we agreed. All right! 628 00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,240 All right. I get it. 629 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,160 They're good questions. 630 00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:00,400 Thank you. 631 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,400 And the adopter has your questions too, so... 632 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,440 Thought they were shit, did you? Sorry? 633 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,760 I said yours were good, you said nothing. It's rude. 634 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,760 No, I, er... I'm joking, man. 635 00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,760 God! You're all so fucking touchy. 636 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,640 Becky. All right, all right. 637 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,240 Over to you, adopter. 638 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,440 I-I just wanted to ask about his name. 639 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,800 Why did you decide to call him Jake? 640 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,360 Take your time, Becky. It's OK to be upset. 641 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,960 I'm not upset. Take a moment. 642 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,720 I don't need a fucking moment! 643 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,480 It's cos I like Joseph, innit? 644 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,360 The musical. 645 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,040 Yeah, erm, I was in it when I was at school. 646 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:59,360 I couldn't sing for shit, but I could dance the tits off anyone. 647 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,520 But, erm, I didn't want Joseph cos of Stalin, 648 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,560 so, um, I settled for Jacob. 649 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,000 It's a stronger name anyway. And, erm, I wanted him to be strong. 650 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,920 I want him to be strong. 651 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,480 Is that all right, like? 652 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,240 It's great, I'm sure Ga... 653 00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,320 Ah! You were going to say his name then, weren't you? 654 00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,320 SHE LAUGHS 655 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,240 Don't get your knickers in a twist. I'm not going to try and guess. 656 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,120 Go on, next one. 657 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,440 Erm... 658 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:35,360 I wanted to ask about his dad, his birth dad. 659 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:36,760 Liam? 660 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,640 How did you meet? 661 00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,200 At a drum and base club, off my tits on Molly. 662 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,240 Promised me the world and utterly destroyed it. 663 00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,880 Oh... Go on. Next one. 664 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:52,560 When did Jake start speaking and walking? 665 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,400 That's actually two questions but I won't hold it against you. 666 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,840 God, right one you've got here, Llin. 667 00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,760 I thought you said he was intelligent. I'm sorry, I... 668 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,880 I'm joking, man. God! I hope you're more fun with Jake. 669 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,920 Anyway, Jakey took his first steps at 15 months. 670 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,360 Just as Call The Midwife was starting. 671 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,880 I don't forget anything, see. 672 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,400 I remember everything. 673 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,200 Everything. 674 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600 Jake bloody loves Call The Midwife, by the way. 675 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,880 You need to watch it with him. 676 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,080 I thought all nuns were cunts before I watched that. 677 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,240 GABRIEL CHUCKLES QUIETLY 678 00:48:37,240 --> 00:48:39,720 And his first word was "Mam", I think. 679 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,000 What are you staring at? 680 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,680 No. 681 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,080 Nothing. 682 00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,520 And your next question? 683 00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,960 Your happiest memory of him? 684 00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,520 I think it, erm... 685 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,200 I think it was seeing him for the first time. 686 00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,840 I couldn't believe how much I loved this pink wriggly thing 687 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,240 that had just like mutilated my fanny. 688 00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:19,480 But I did. 689 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:22,840 I loved him. 690 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,080 More than I've ever loved anything before or since. 691 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,160 Ever will again, maybe. 692 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,800 Erm, your last question? 693 00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,800 What do you hope that he achieves? 694 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,160 More than I have. 695 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,920 It might be nice if you can elab... 696 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,600 No, I don't have anything else to say! I want to ask my questions. 697 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:53,160 That was your last question, wasn't it, adopter? Yeah. Good. Yeah. 698 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,520 Right, what I want to know is, 699 00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:00,920 will you have other close family around? 700 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,480 Yes. 701 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,920 His nan's not too far away and she...she really can't wait 702 00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,280 to meet him. Good. Cos you'll need help, you know? 703 00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,040 It's hard doing it on your own. 704 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:13,960 Although I was actually dead chuffed 705 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,960 when I heard he was going to a single man. 706 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,200 Cos I'm his only mami then, see. 707 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,760 And, erm, I think it'll be good for him. 708 00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,720 He needs to know that not all men are complete and utter dickheads. 709 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,920 Why're you doing this on your own, anyway by the way? Are you gay? 710 00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,720 Yes, actually. 711 00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:33,320 Cool. 712 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,960 I-I'm cool with that. 713 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,360 Cos my nan's a lesbian and she's a total legend. 714 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,080 Why's your nan a legend? No, that's not on the list. 715 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,400 Is he allowed to ask questions that are not on the list? 716 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,360 We've time if you want to answer? 717 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,040 All right, well... 718 00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,080 ..don't be surprised if I go parkour on my questions as well. 719 00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,840 Nan's a legend because she's the only one that gave a shit 720 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,400 that my dad was a fucking arsehole. 721 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,080 I'm so sorry to hear that. 722 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,640 So how come you're single, then? 723 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,520 I mean, like, you're hardly a munter. 724 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,600 You just haven't found the right one yet, have you? Erm... 725 00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,520 No, my... 726 00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,120 My partner, he... 727 00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,280 He died. 728 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,280 Oh, God. Right. 729 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,600 What happened? We're not...we're not actually sure. 730 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,520 But he was probably attacked. 731 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,880 But anyway, he fell and... 732 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:39,960 Then he knocked his head and... 733 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,560 Shit. Sorry. 734 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,760 It's OK. 735 00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,720 It's not OK. It's fucking sad. 736 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,120 Llinos, get the man a tissue. No, I'm fine, honestly... 737 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,320 No, get the fucking man a tissue, I said! 738 00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,560 You cry if you want to. 739 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,600 It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. 740 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,720 And you make sure you teach that to Jakey too. 741 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:10,840 What was his name? 742 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,280 Your partner? 743 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,920 Andrew. Andy. 744 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,800 His name was Andy. 745 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,240 Andy. 746 00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,800 That's nice. 747 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,400 Oh, shit. No, I shouldn't have said... Oh, shit. 748 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,760 Sorry, look, I just wanted to know what his name was cos, erm, 749 00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,360 well, cos...cos he would have been his dad as well, wouldn't he? 750 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,640 Yeah. 751 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,200 Lucky boy. 752 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:39,400 You know, not one, but two nice dads to take care of him. 753 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:44,480 I mean... 754 00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,400 ..look at you. 755 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,760 Look at your kind face. 756 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,120 Anyway, erm... 757 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,520 "Will you take Jake on holiday?" 758 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:17,280 Yes. 759 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:21,440 Yes, there's lots of places that I'd love to share with him. 760 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,920 Last question. 761 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,640 Do you have a garden? 762 00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:33,800 Yes. 763 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,160 Front and back garden. 764 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,080 BECKY SNIFFLES 765 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:40,600 Just got a trampoline in the back cos, 766 00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,520 well, I know how much he loves that. 767 00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,080 Actually, can I ask one more question? 768 00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,080 You... 769 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,440 You... 770 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:01,680 Fuck! 771 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,280 You will love him, won't you? 772 00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:09,160 I already do. 773 00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,200 SHE LAUGHS THROUGH TEARS 774 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:17,880 Good. 775 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,400 Because I love him too, see. 776 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,640 And, erm... 777 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,600 ..I want him to have a good life. 778 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:33,920 I want him to be happy. 779 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,120 And you will let him know that? 780 00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,560 That I loved him. 781 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,960 It really wasn't because I didn't love him. 782 00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:53,480 God! 783 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,520 Look at you. 784 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,520 SHE LAUGHS 785 00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,840 Look at your kind face. 786 00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:05,880 He takes after you, you know. 787 00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,000 No, it's true. 788 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,520 He's bright. 789 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:12,200 And funny. 790 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,040 He's so funny. 791 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,040 SHE LAUGHS SADLY 792 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:17,360 And loving. 793 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,960 You should be really proud of that. 794 00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:31,800 Erm, we always think it's nice if there's a picture... 795 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,840 ..of the two of you together, for Jake. 796 00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,680 I don't have to put my arm round him or nothing? 797 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,360 No, you can just stand next to each other. 798 00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:51,440 I feel like a right fucking pleb. 799 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,320 No. It's lovely. 800 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,320 SHUTTER CLICKS 801 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:57,000 Thanks. 802 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,960 Right, then, we'd better get going, innit, Llin? 803 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,200 Christ, I could do with a drink! 804 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,240 And you'll have things to do, I imagine. 805 00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:10,400 Well, anyway, erm... 806 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,520 ..goodbye, RoboCop. 807 00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,560 My name's Gabriel. 808 00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:19,280 SHE SNIFFS 809 00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,080 Thank you. 810 00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,240 Come on, let's go. 811 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,840 HE SIGHS 812 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:33,840 HE LAUGHS 813 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,960 # You talk like Marlene Dietrich 814 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:07,120 # And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire 815 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:11,000 # Your clothes are all made by Balmain 816 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,560 # And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair 817 00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,760 # Yes, there are 818 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,000 # You live in a fancy apartment 819 00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,000 # Off the Boulevard St Michel 820 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,600 # Where you keep your Rolling Stones records. #