1 00:00:01,305 --> 00:00:02,741 LAINEY: Back in the '90s, 2 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,483 there was no more inspirational sports movie thanRudy. 3 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:07,659 His story gave hope to little guys everywhere. 4 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,835 Rudy makes me feel like I can do anything. 5 00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:13,535 It's like Rudy feels on the inside what I look like on the outside. 6 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,972 Sorry, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, 7 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,756 there's a new crush in town. 8 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,584 I don't know. Rudy seems pretty shy. 9 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:21,630 I could reach him. 10 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,723 Air! Need air! 11 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,594 Toby Murphy? How long have you been in there? 12 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:32,119 This time? Hard to tell.Come on. 13 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,294 Ooh. 14 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,730 I know your Aunt Julie, you know? 15 00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:37,298 Spectacular lady. We go to the same gym. 16 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:40,083 A bit of a sweater, but always very courteous 17 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,432 about wiping down the equipment. 18 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,912 Ronnie do this to you? 19 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,218 I would never tattle on a teammate. 20 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,872 I'm gonna kick his butt. 21 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,918 And you're not his teammate 'cause you're not on the team. 22 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:51,051 No, I-I can be if you just give me a shot. 23 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,009 I memorized the whole playbook. 24 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,663 I've even been working up a few new plays 25 00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,926 where my sickly muscle tone won't be a disadvantage. 26 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,059 Well, I appreciate the enthusiasm. You're a good kid. 27 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,538 But you're too damn small. 28 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:01,713 I'm working on that, too. 29 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,759 I've been mixing bone meal with my Capri Sun, 30 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:04,890 and I heard there's a place in Chinatown 31 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,240 where they stretch you. 32 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,112 Toby, if a thousand gypsy-moths flew around 33 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,680 unconvincingly in the shape of a boy, 34 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,509 I would put them on the team before you. 35 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:15,597 Now, let's go. 36 00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,166 Hey, Ronnie here? 37 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,515 I want to bust his muscular hump 38 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,733 for being mean to this little garden gnome. 39 00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,170 Shh. 40 00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,783 Why are you showing Notre Dame game film? 41 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:30,090 Somebody accidentally tape over your copy of Patch Adams? 42 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,787 You've never seen Rudy? 43 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,832 The inspiring true story of the small kid 44 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,399 who got to play for Notre Dame? 45 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,140 COACH MELLOR: They let that twerp play? 46 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:40,709 Kid looks like the dancing baby from that Ally McBealshow. 47 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:43,364 Well, sit down and watch as Sean Astin does for football 48 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:46,454 what Robin Williams did for hospital clowning. 49 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,760 LAINEY: So, Coach Mellor sat down with a skeptical heart, 50 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:49,979 and an hour later... 51 00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,377 ...he realized, perhaps for the first time, 52 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,640 that the small and the weak had dreams of their own. 53 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,598 Toby, you're on the team! 54 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,034 What? Seriously, Coach? 55 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,210 Yeah, seriously, Coach? 56 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:05,212 Is this one of those Make-A-Wish deals? 57 00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,649 Ronnie, you may be big and athletic, 58 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:10,260 but your massive shoulders have left little room for heart. 59 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:13,089 Well, this tiny goofball has got more heart 60 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,222 than all of you put together! 61 00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,746 We'll see you at practice, Toby Murphy. 62 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,095 I'm gonna be a Quaker! 63 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,749 Yes! 64 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,664 Oh, I'm lightheaded. 65 00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:29,192 Can someone help me put the straw in my Capri Sun? 66 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,367 Try the pointy side. 67 00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:33,109 Oh. 68 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,025 See that? He's coachable! 69 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,680 ♪ One of these days you're gonna get outta here 70 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:41,639 ♪ Live your life and finally be free 71 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,903 ♪ Go where you wanna go do what you wanna do 72 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:48,603 ♪ Someday, you will say "Those were the days" ♪ 73 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,561 LAINEY: It was October 9th, 1990-something, 74 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,433 and I was enjoying some precious girl-talk 75 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,435 with my homegirl, Erica Goldberg. 76 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,785 ERICA: You and Barry together still baffles me. 77 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,788 You're so fun and he's, like, this boring radiologist. 78 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,443 He's a romantic radiologist. 79 00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,488 He sent me a lung X-ray with a malignancy 80 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,838 he said looks like me. 81 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,145 Lainey, the great thing about a mobile phone 82 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,407 is that you can take it anywhere. 83 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,801 For example, not in my office. 84 00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,237 ERICA: Ooh, is that Glascott? 85 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,499 Is he still rockin' the sweater vest? 86 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,806 Mmm-hmm. Maroon under a wool blazer. 87 00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,460 I guess his middle gets cold. 88 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,157 Please stop talking about my cold middle 89 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,421 and take your Doc Martens off of my Word-of-the-Day calendar. 90 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,641 It's very "churlish" of you. 91 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:29,383 I am so excited for our girls' weekend. 92 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:32,908 A seaweed wrap followed by the best foursome in R&B, Boyz II Men. 93 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:36,259 Lain, I don't know how to tell you this, but, um, I can't go. 94 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,609 But we do spa day and boy band every year. 95 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:42,222 Last year, both the band and the sauna were 98 Degrees. Sorry. 96 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,746 My mom is throwing a party that night for her half-birthday. 97 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,313 Beverly Goldberg strikes again. 98 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,924 But I get it. Bye. Bye. 99 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:49,794 Ugh. 100 00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,796 Erica bailed. 101 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,495 Now I have to find someone else who's down for hot stones and cool jams. 102 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,977 Those are the words of someone leaving, 103 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,371 and yet, here you are settling in. 104 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:03,068 With Erica living three states away, 105 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,636 I don't really have anyone to hang out and girl-talk with. 106 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,855 Except you, John. 107 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,422 And not even really me. 108 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,858 I think you should find someone who has 109 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,382 a more confident take on the relative kissability 110 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,689 of Jared Leto vs. Leonardo DiCaprio. 111 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,081 Leo all the way. 112 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,649 I felt the same way, just not as strongly. 113 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:21,609 I've never had a hard time making girlfriends before. 114 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:22,740 I've always been kind of a chick magnet, 115 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,874 but most of the women around here are so much older. 116 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,093 Not sure I want a friendship where I have to drive you to your appointments. 117 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,965 What about Wilma Howell? 118 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:32,750 She's young and can probably still drive at night. 119 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,013 Yes. 120 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,711 I'll ask Wilma to be my new best friend 121 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,234 and have her on this weekend with me. 122 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,410 Maybe just ask her if she wants to have lunch. 123 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,630 Look at you, giving excellent girlfriend advice. 124 00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,458 And don't worry, whatever happens with Wilma, 125 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,024 we'll always have us. 126 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,939 I know that's not a threat, 127 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,201 but it feels like one. 128 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,729 Whoa. You can slow down there, Toby. 129 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,905 I don't think cafeteria meat has an expiration date. 130 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,036 I need to bulk up. 131 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,821 There's a scrimmage today, and as of right now, 132 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,780 my jersey looks like a choir robe with a number on it. 133 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,043 Speaking of choir, that is a cool extracurricular 134 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,219 that doesn't involve the risk of injury, 135 00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,178 as long as you care for your instrument. 136 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,745 ♪ Ming, mong ming, mong, ming, mong ming, mong, moong 137 00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:11,789 ♪ Ming, mong ♪ 138 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,315 Hi, Wilma! Mind if I join you? 139 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,925 Actually, I'm not really eating. 140 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,100 Me either. 141 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,712 What I've actually got an appetite for 142 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,932 is getting to know fellow lady-teacher Wilma Howell. 143 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,194 Who is she? What makes her tick? 144 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,065 You noticed my tic? 145 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,503 My eye gets twitchy when someone invades my personal space. 146 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,679 All I see are those awesome lashes. 147 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,376 Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline. 148 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,639 Yeah, that's nice, but I'd rather watch mold grow. 149 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,424 Wow, message received. 150 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,774 But ignored. I am not easily discouraged. 151 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:42,124 No, I seriously have to watch this mold grow.Oh. 152 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,560 I'm prepping samples 153 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,823 for my first big school-wide presentation 154 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,608 to get kids excited about biology. 155 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:50,219 This cafeteria is a hotbed for airborne spores. 156 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:52,482 Oh, you don't have to sell me. I eat here every day. 157 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,179 In fact, I really oughta wash my hands 158 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,529 so I don't contaminate my samples 159 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,573 while they're getting contaminated. 160 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,535 What... What are you doing? I'm going to the bathroom with you. 161 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,319 That's where girlfriends go to dish and gossip. 162 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,495 Sure, and we can talk about that weird woman 163 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,018 who tries to follow people to the bathroom. 164 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,585 Ooh. She sounds creepy. 165 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,763 Oh. Listen, Lainey, 166 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,243 I'm just not into that whole gal-pal thing, 167 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,897 especially with people I work with. 168 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,073 Truth is, from an evolutionary perspective, 169 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,510 having female friends doesn't serve any biological purpose. 170 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:21,642 Unless you need a tampon. 171 00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,471 There goes my eye again. 172 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,823 LAINEY: But I wasn't gonna give up. 173 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,086 So, after school, I followed Wilma 174 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,567 to see if I could make friends with her out in the real world. 175 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,482 Meanwhile, CB went to football practice 176 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,613 to keep an eye on Toby. 177 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,528 Alright, team, huddle up! 178 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,139 We're gonna run Blue 76 Fullback Swing. 179 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,185 Toby, you're the quarterback's first look on the strong side. 180 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,013 You mean on the blind side 181 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,406 'cause he'll be scrambling left away from the pass rush. 182 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,886 Ha! The rookie knows his stuff. 183 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,976 While you guys were all out having fun and dating, 184 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,370 he was at home, completely alone, studying the plays. 185 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,502 Let's go! 186 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,504 Break! 187 00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,463 You're giving Toby the ball? Oh, boy. 188 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,509 He'll do great, exactly like Rudy. 189 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:03,771 Should have shown you Lucas. 190 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,381 It's a more accurate portrayal of a small boy 191 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,730 who gets tackled and winds up in the hospital, 192 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,558 clinging to life. 193 00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,299 When CB got nervous, he juggled. 194 00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,257 Set, hut! 195 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,657 Oh, my God! He caught it! 196 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,487 Run, Toby, run! 197 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,621 Yeah! 198 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,666 Yeah! He dodged him! He do... Phew! 199 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,365 Whoo! CB: He scored! 200 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,150 I can't believe it. 201 00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,065 Boo-yeah!Believe it, baby! 202 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,370 I was wrong, Coach. 203 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,720 What you did here is a testament 204 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,025 to encouraging children to dream. 205 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,244 It's a great moment. 206 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,159 I doff my cap to thee. 207 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,029 And you ruined it! 208 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,162 Did I do okay, Coach? 209 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:48,511 You did awesome. You really sold it. 210 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,860 "Sold it"? Sold what? 211 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,862 I almost forgot not to tackle him. 212 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,298 I see something so small and defenseless 213 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,430 and I want to crush it. 214 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,173 Oh, my God. I can't believe you'd do this. 215 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,175 You fake-Rudy'd him? Exactly. 216 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,743 I just gave that boy the best moment he'll have in his life 217 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,659 until he's at least, I'm guessing, 26. 218 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:12,143 What element makes up 65% of the human body? 219 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,667 Oxygen. 220 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,799 And it's actually 65.4. 221 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,235 Right again. 222 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:20,325 And thank you as always for your very public correction. 223 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,066 Couldn't do it without your very public inaccuracies. 224 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,113 And you said you didn't have any female friends. 225 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:26,810 Did you follow me here? 226 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,246 Meh, who's to say who followed who, you know? 227 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,205 I am. I'm saying you followed me. 228 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,555 Can I get a Bahama Mama, but instead of the orange slice, 229 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,688 can I just get extra rum? Thank you. 230 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,167 TRIVIA HOST: What star of The Breakfast Club 231 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,300 was in the original cast of Facts of Life? 232 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,258 Tootie? 233 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,564 Molly Ringwald. 234 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,479 Correct! 235 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,786 "Tootie"? Seriously? I'm sorry. 236 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,571 My brain isn't stuffed full of useless pop-culture fluff. 237 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,052 But mine is, which would make us 238 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:54,011 the perfect teammates, the Salt-N-Pepa of trivia. 239 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,186 No idea who that is. 240 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,710 Exactly why you need me. 241 00:08:58,842 --> 00:08:59,582 Fine. 242 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,716 You missed the whole point of Rudy. 243 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,065 Rudy earned his moment of glory. 244 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,370 It wasn't just handed to him. 245 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,372 Wah-wah. Nobody cares about that. 246 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,809 What Rudy did on the field 247 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,811 is the reason they turned his story 248 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,769 into a beautiful movie about sports triumph. 249 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,379 Our little Toby just got to taste 250 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,077 the sweet nectar of victory. 251 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,513 What's he gonna taste in a real game 252 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,559 when all his face holes get smashed in? 253 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,777 Won't happen. 254 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,039 Saturday is our last game, 255 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606 and I'm gonna keep him on the bench. 256 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,174 But he'll always have the memory of today's glory 257 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:29,481 as he slogs through the next 50 years as a wimpy nobody, 258 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,875 trying to brighten his day with kooky ties. 259 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,311 Ah, really? 260 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,183 We're going there, Mr. Short Shorts? 261 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,184 TOBY: Coach Mellor! 262 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,709 Oh. Hi. Hi. 263 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:40,841 Toby's Aunt Julie. 264 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,886 Oh, please, just call me Julie. 265 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,236 Julie. I got here early to pick up Toby 266 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,586 and I saw that last amazing play. 267 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,239 I took the rock to the house! 268 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,111 Sure did, buddy. All you. 269 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,200 Will Toby be playing on Saturday, too? 270 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,854 I wasn't gonna come, but if Toby is playing, 271 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,857 I'd love to see it, and maybe afterwards, 272 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,946 we could go out for pizza and you and I could catch up. 273 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,817 Of course he's playing. You saw him take it to the house, 274 00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,123 all on his own there. 275 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,951 Well, we'll see you Saturday.Okay. 276 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,563 Holy crap, that got away from me. 277 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,130 I might have just killed Toby. 278 00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,827 Well, on the bright side, at least you can bring 279 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,307 Aunt Julie as a date to the funeral. 280 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,748 LAINEY: Wilma and I were vastly different people, 281 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,011 but those very differences made us an awesome team. 282 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,796 Uranium-235. 283 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,928 Blink-182. 284 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,277 Johannes Diderik van der Waals. 285 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,757 James Van Der Beek. 286 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,541 The identification of chromosomes 287 00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,369 as the carriers of genetic material 288 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,502 as stated in the Boveri-Sutton theory! 289 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,983 Pogs. Correct answer! 290 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,334 Mmm! Time to tally up the score and announce our winner. 291 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,076 Winners. That would be us. 292 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,947 I'm so glad you stalked me here tonight. 293 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,949 If we win, I probably won't even call the cops on you. 294 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,299 Listen, I have an extra ticket to a show. 295 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,258 Do you want to go to Philly with me for the weekend 296 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,825 to have a spa day and see Boyz II Men? 297 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,479 That sounds really nice, but I don't even know that group. 298 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,872 I'll Make Love to You. 299 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,178 I think you may have different expectations 300 00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,353 for this friendship than I do. 301 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,747 No, that's one of their hits. Like... 302 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,358 ♪ Motown Philly's back again 303 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:06,187 ♪ Doing a little east-coast fling 304 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,405 ♪ Da-da-da 305 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,624 ♪ Going off 306 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,105 ♪ Not too hard not too soft 307 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,497 That's Boyz II Men? 308 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,021 Oh, I do know them. I'm in! 309 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,849 Yes! 310 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,068 BOTH: ♪ Motown Philly's back again ♪ 311 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,855 CB: Really stressed about this. 312 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,726 You can't let Toby play on Saturday. 313 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,510 I also can't let the kid down. 314 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,121 Or his aunt. Mmm-hmm. 315 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,644 Eh, you made me lose count of my blueberries. 316 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,385 Look, it's better to break Toby's heart 317 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,300 than all the bones in his body, okay? 318 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:35,259 It is our job as teachers to deliver hard truths to these kids. 319 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,870 Coach, check it out. 320 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:40,656 Oh. It's a Toby-sized letterman jacket. 321 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,571 Is that the one they made for our halftime monkey 322 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,878 before those wet blankets at PETA shut us down? 323 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,357 I'm the one who reported that. 324 00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,577 Monkey seemed so sad. 325 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,622 I'm just so proud to wear it. 326 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,800 CB, you had some hard truth you wanted to dump on Toby? 327 00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,844 Yes. 328 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,195 That jacket is dry-clean only. 329 00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,328 Could get pretty pricy.Worth it. 330 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,460 And plus, I've never felt so popular before. 331 00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:05,681 And I've even seen a downward trend in my pantsings. 332 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,857 The only question is do we get our cheesesteaks 333 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:08,902 before or after the pedicures? 334 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,468 During. We don't eat with our feet. 335 00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:11,339 Ding! Correct answer. 336 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,733 Well, look at you two. 337 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,299 Do I hear friendship bells? 338 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,692 Ooh. Friendship Belles. 339 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,389 That should be our new name for trivia night.Ooh. 340 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,696 Nothing makes me happier than when my teachers 341 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,133 grow very close with someone other than me. 342 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,484 Oh, my God. Look at the way he's eating his yogurt. 343 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,616 Just like the guy from last night. 344 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,791 Right? 345 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,488 BOTH: Soupy! 346 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,534 You know what? I'm gonna go eat in my office. 347 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,144 Yogurt should be private. 348 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,495 Hello? 349 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:40,237 Erica, what's up, girl? 350 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,065 Your mom's party's been canceled? 351 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,415 There's rain in the forecast and the doves refuse to work wet. 352 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,721 Your mom must be out of her mind. 353 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,853 Who is she taking it out on? 354 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,942 At the moment, Al Roker. 355 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,640 But the good news is that I'm back in for Boyz II Men. 356 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,033 So, now you can do this weekend? 357 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,776 Um, the thing is, actually, I... 358 00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,256 It's okay. Don't worry about me. 359 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,475 Are you sure? Yeah, just go with your friend. 360 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,432 I feel bad. Yeah, don't. 361 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,435 Alright. I guess I'll see you on Friday. 362 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,655 Girls II Boyz II Men. Yay. 363 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,919 Sorry about that. 364 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,442 Erica's my oldest friend and I asked her first. 365 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,792 Makes perfect sense. 366 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,229 But you are officially my coolest friend 367 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,883 because you are being so cool about all this, 368 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,754 which is so cool. 369 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,799 Cool. 370 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,020 Oh, my God. Check out that girl dipping her fries in her chocolate milk, 371 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,369 just like Dippy last night. 372 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,632 Do you remember Dippy? 373 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,112 I should get to class. 374 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,201 Wait, come on. Eh, Soupy's date. 375 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,681 Dippy. Dippy! 376 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,204 Listen, last night was great. 377 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,902 Trivia, Soupy. 378 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,599 Let's just be good with that and not try to make more of it. 379 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,474 CB! Come on in here. I got some good news. 380 00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,737 I figured out a way to get this kid to play Saturday 381 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:46,826 without having to rename the field 382 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,828 "Toby Murphy Memorial Stadium." 383 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,047 Thank God. I was so stressed. 384 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,527 I had to juggle it out all morning. 385 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,659 You can't put that little nose hair on the field, Coach. 386 00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:55,922 It's the last game of the season. 387 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,358 I-I got scouts coming. 388 00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,794 My whole troop. 389 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,972 We're gonna run one play, and it goes like this. 390 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:07,107 It's called the Red Dog 86 Omaha Don't Let Toby Die. 391 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,978 Oh, I feel very uncomfortable with this. 392 00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,025 So, this is another big fake-out, 393 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,461 like when we let Toby think he scored a touchdown? 394 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,028 Exactly. 395 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,030 We just give him the ball and then we move him downfield 396 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,859 like a herd of elephants guarding a tiny, useless duckling. 397 00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,078 So, this has all been a lie? 398 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,603 Toby. 399 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,867 Well, okay, the touchdown, maybe, 400 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,043 but that feeling it gave you, 401 00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,871 that moment of glory, that was real. 402 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,481 I didn't ask for glory. 403 00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,874 I asked for a shot to be part of the team. 404 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,092 And now I see I'm just a joke. 405 00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,267 You're not a joke. 406 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:38,878 No. I'm a duckling. 407 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,495 Okay, I'm bummed. You bummed? 408 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,584 So bummed. 409 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,715 Let's go do some reps. 410 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,108 Yeah. 411 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,504 That's the last time I do something completely selfless. 412 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,027 Selfless? 413 00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,376 You weren't even thinking about Toby. 414 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,335 Seems to me like you were more interested 415 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,684 in grabbing a pizza with Aunt Julie. 416 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:03,903 That's ridiculous. 417 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,514 I have zero interest in empty carbs. 418 00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:08,646 You got some soul-searching to do, brother. 419 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,300 I'm gonna leave you with these. 420 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,693 Good luck. 421 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,133 LAINEY: With Erica back in on our girls' weekend, 422 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,179 I tried to score an extra ticket for Wilma. 423 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:20,658 Are seats five or eight available? 424 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,531 And if not, what is your age limit on lap babies? 425 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,925 Forget it. 426 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,970 Do you ever have days where everyone is annoying you? 427 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,233 I do. Why are you in my office? 428 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,322 I thought I successfully pawned you off on Wilma? 429 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,280 I'm worried I blew that friendship. 430 00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,108 No! 431 00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,587 Erica Goldberg suddenly became available 432 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,154 for our girls' weekend. 433 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,808 And you kicked poor Wilma to the curb? 434 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,244 She said it was fine. 435 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,204 We always say it's fine when a friend callously brushes us aside, 436 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,902 but the heart feels what the mouth won't say. 437 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,949 I was trying to protect Erica because she is my oldest friend. 438 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,168 Which is why it's okay to treat her like crap. 439 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,605 This new friendship with Wilma is fragile 440 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,216 and needs nurturing, 441 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,870 and I want this for you both.Me too. 442 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,742 I'm gonna go figure out a way to make this up to her. 443 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,010 Oh, hi. Julie. 444 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,882 Aunt Julie. Are you looking for Toby? 445 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,407 I'm not sure if he has any more dreams available to crush, 446 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,409 but he loves that bike if you want to slash the tires. 447 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:16,236 Please don't. 448 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,934 Come in, Coach. 449 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,501 I was just opening up a Lunchable. 450 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,416 We'll be in the sitting room. 451 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:23,721 I feel bad about what I did to you. 452 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:24,809 It was not okay. 453 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,508 So... 454 00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,205 Here's eight bucks. 455 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,641 I think that's fair. 456 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,948 You tricked me and made me a laughing stock at school. 457 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,691 As a teacher, you want to tell your kids 458 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,519 they can do anything they set their mind to, 459 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,216 but sometimes, that's just a crock. 460 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,132 Look, I've always wanted to be a jockey, 461 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:46,744 but unfortunately, I'm six feet of solid tiger meat. 462 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,485 But I really love football. 463 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:51,314 And you can still be a part of it. 464 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,056 I'm about to pay you the highest compliment possible. 465 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,841 Toby, I think you could be a coach. 466 00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,192 I mean, I'm looking at some of the plays you've drawn up. 467 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,454 There's a lot of smart strategy here. 468 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,108 Maybe someday. 469 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,718 But I've always had my heart set on playing 470 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:05,589 a real game, just once. 471 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,592 Okay, pal. 472 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,160 I owe you. 473 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,380 You're going out on that field on Saturday, 474 00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,077 and the reason it's gonna work 475 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,297 is we're running one of your plays. 476 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,299 Remember how I said I wasn't in this for the glory? 477 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,216 I would very much like some glory, please. 478 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:24,652 That's 'cause you're a red-blooded American. 479 00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:36,533 Hey. Could you use these for your project? 480 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,231 I'm doing a presentation on mold, 481 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,059 not hot dog buns that someone has scribbled on 482 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,277 with green marker. 483 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,978 Well, it was supposed to be kind of a peace offering. 484 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,893 Shouldn't you be in Philly with Erica, 485 00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:52,288 getting Shiatsu'd with a belly full of cheesesteak? 486 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:55,422 I didn't go. I gave Erica both tickets. 487 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,251 I just couldn't enjoy myself after how I treated you. 488 00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,687 I'm actually grateful because you reminded me 489 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,558 why I'm not so keen on girlfriends. 490 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:04,300 So much more relaxing spending my free time 491 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,389 with Aspergillus fumigatus. 492 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,999 She's reliable, self-sufficient, 493 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,610 and we both like hanging out in my bathtub. 494 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,307 But can she drive you to the airport 495 00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:12,743 or hold your hair when you're vomiting? 496 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:15,181 No, but she can make you vomit. Very toxic. 497 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,313 And then penicillin will fix you right up. 498 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:20,273 That's the wild ride mold takes you on. 499 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,449 Look, I like you, Wilma, 500 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,625 and I don't seem to make friends easily anymore. 501 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:25,974 So, when I decide it's happening, 502 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,628 I do not take no for an answer. 503 00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,457 Ask around. I-I'm as hard to get rid of as 504 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,112 that gross thing growing on that toothbrush. 505 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,592 Ulocladium. Whatever it is. 506 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,073 I hope the students appreciate the awesomeness 507 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,770 of what you have done here. 508 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,120 When do your doors open? 509 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:42,991 Two hours ago. 510 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,993 It's been kind of a soft opening. 511 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:47,343 Because you need me to generate buzz. 512 00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,998 Come on. We made a heck of a team doing trivia. 513 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,391 We already have your science brains. 514 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,306 Now all we need is my...Useless fluff? 515 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,177 I was going to say showmanship, but sure. 516 00:18:57,614 --> 00:19:01,227 ♪ Moldtown Philly's back again 517 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,881 LAINEY: And so, with some assistance from the Quaker's Dozen, 518 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:07,363 I helped my friend Wilma find a way to get kids sold on mold. 519 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,757 ♪ Going off ♪ 520 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,326 ♪ Makes salami hard makes cheese soft ♪ 521 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,155 Meanwhile, it was down to the wire at the big game. 522 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,939 We're running Toby's special play. 523 00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,419 You guys know how this goes? 524 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:22,596 We got it, Coach. "Team" on three. 525 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,902 One, two, three... ALL: Team! 526 00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,426 They're putting Toby in? 527 00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:29,429 Um, does anyone have any harlequin balls, 528 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,865 uh, Indian clubs, anything one can juggle? 529 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:31,779 Any... Ma'am? 530 00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:32,910 Blue 90! 531 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,043 Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! 532 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,610 Wait, "Rudy"? It's a pity play. 533 00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,569 They're gonna throw it to that little twerp. Get him! 534 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:43,660 Both Toby and Wilma were in totally uncharted waters, 535 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,141 but they also realized if your friends have your back, 536 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,535 you can accomplish some pretty big things. 537 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,755 ♪ So many types of mold going off ♪ 538 00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,670 Set, hut! 539 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:54,802 Here, here! 540 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,021 With the defense tricked into guarding Toby, 541 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,719 Ronnie was free to run it in. 542 00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:01,330 So, even though Toby didn't actually score the touchdown 543 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,940 or even touch the ball... 544 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:06,074 ...it was his moment of glory because his sneaky play won the game. 545 00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,468 It worked! Yes! 546 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,773 Yeah! 547 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:19,043 It was a joyful reminder for the Rudy in all of us 548 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,784 to never give up on our dreams. 549 00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:32,970 ♪ Moldtown Philly's back again 550 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:36,322 ♪ Doin' a little fungal thing 551 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,239 ♪ Lots of mold goin' off 552 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,415 ♪ Makes salami hard 553 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,982 ♪ Makes cheese soft 554 00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:49,160 ♪ It's long overdue, but now the fridge needs cleanin' 555 00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:52,033 ♪ Boyz II Men, toss that meat spray that bleach 556 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,730 ♪ Protect your family 557 00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,863 ♪ Should I keep this beet? ♪ Nah 558 00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,952 ♪ It's stinkin' up South Street 559 00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,867 ♪ Jet black mold fruit got old 560 00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,435 ♪ And all the Philly steaks smell like feet 561 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:06,352 ♪ Back in school, we used to learn about mold every day 562 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,875 ♪ Should I keep on scrubbing? 563 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:11,139 ♪ Or does mildew fade away? Yeah 564 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:14,621 ♪ So we started brushing until the grout was smooth 565 00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:16,884 ♪ Then we rinsed it off and here we are 566 00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:20,322 ♪ Cleanin' it just for you 567 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,758 ♪ Boyz II Men 568 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,369 ♪ B-B-Boyz II Men