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LAINEY: Back in the '90s,

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00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,483
there was no
more inspirational
sports movie thanRudy.

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00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:07,659
His story gave hope
to little guys everywhere.

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00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,835
Rudy makes me feel like
I can do anything.

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It's like Rudy feels
on the inside what
I look like on the outside.

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00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,972
Sorry, Jonathan
Taylor Thomas,

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there's a new
crush in town.

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I don't know.
Rudy seems pretty shy.

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I could reach him.

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Air! Need air!

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Toby Murphy?
How long have
you been in there?

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This time?
Hard to tell.Come on.

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Ooh.

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I know your Aunt Julie,
you know?

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Spectacular lady.
We go to the same gym.

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A bit of a sweater,
but always very courteous

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about wiping down
the equipment.

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Ronnie do this to you?

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I would never tattle
on a teammate.

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I'm gonna kick his butt.

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And you're not his teammate
'cause you're not on the team.

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No, I-I can be
if you just give me a shot.

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I memorized
the whole playbook.

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I've even been
working up a few
new plays

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where my sickly muscle tone
won't be a disadvantage.

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Well, I appreciate
the enthusiasm.
You're a good kid.

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But you're
too damn small.

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I'm working on that, too.

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I've been mixing bone meal
with my Capri Sun,

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and I heard there's
a place in Chinatown

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where they stretch you.

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Toby, if a thousand
gypsy-moths flew around

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unconvincingly
in the shape of a boy,

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I would put them
on the team before you.

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Now, let's go.

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Hey, Ronnie here?

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I want to bust
his muscular hump

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for being mean
to this little
garden gnome.

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Shh.

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Why are you showing
Notre Dame game film?

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Somebody accidentally
tape over your copy
of Patch Adams?

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You've never seen Rudy?

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The inspiring true story
of the small kid

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who got to play
for Notre Dame?

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COACH MELLOR:
They let that twerp play?

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Kid looks like the
dancing baby from
that Ally McBealshow.

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Well, sit down and watch
as Sean Astin does
for football

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what Robin Williams
did for hospital clowning.

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LAINEY: So,
Coach Mellor sat down
with a skeptical heart,

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and an hour later...

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...he realized,
perhaps for the first time,

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that the small and the weak
had dreams of their own.

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Toby, you're
on the team!

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What?
Seriously, Coach?

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Yeah, seriously, Coach?

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Is this one of those
Make-A-Wish deals?

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Ronnie, you may be big
and athletic,

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but your massive shoulders
have left little room
for heart.

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Well, this tiny goofball
has got more heart

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than all of you
put together!

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We'll see you at practice,
Toby Murphy.

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I'm gonna be a Quaker!

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Yes!

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Oh, I'm lightheaded.

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Can someone help me put
the straw in my Capri Sun?

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Try the pointy side.

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Oh.

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See that?
He's coachable!

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♪ One of these days
you're gonna get outta here

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♪ Live your life
and finally be free

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♪ Go where you wanna go
do what you wanna do

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♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪

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LAINEY:
It was October 9th,
1990-something,

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and I was enjoying
some precious girl-talk

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with my homegirl,
Erica Goldberg.

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ERICA: You and Barry together still baffles me.

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You're so fun and he's,
like, this boring radiologist.

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He's a romantic
radiologist.

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He sent me a lung X-ray
with a malignancy

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he said looks like me.

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Lainey, the great thing
about a mobile phone

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is that you
can take it anywhere.

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For example,
not in my office.

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ERICA: Ooh, is that Glascott?

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Is he still rockin'
the sweater vest?

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Mmm-hmm.
Maroon under
a wool blazer.

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I guess his middle
gets cold.

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Please stop talking about
my cold middle

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and take your
Doc Martens off of my
Word-of-the-Day calendar.

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It's very "churlish"
of you.

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I am so excited
for our girls' weekend.

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A seaweed wrap followed
by the best foursome
in R&B, Boyz II Men.

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Lain, I don't know how to tell
you this, but, um, I can't go.

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But we do spa day
and boy band every year.

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Last year, both the band
and the sauna were 98 Degrees. Sorry.

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My mom is throwing
a party that night
for her half-birthday.

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Beverly Goldberg
strikes again.

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But I get it. Bye.
Bye.

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Ugh.

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Erica bailed.

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Now I have to find
someone else who's down
for hot stones and cool jams.

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Those are the words
of someone leaving,

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and yet, here you are
settling in.

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With Erica living
three states away,

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I don't really have
anyone to hang out
and girl-talk with.

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Except you, John.

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And not even really me.

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I think you should find
someone who has

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a more confident take
on the relative kissability

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of Jared Leto
vs. Leonardo DiCaprio.

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Leo all the way.

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I felt the same way,
just not as strongly.

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I've never had a hard time
making girlfriends before.

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I've always been
kind of a chick magnet,

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but most of the women
around here are
so much older.

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Not sure I want a friendship
where I have to drive you
to your appointments.

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What about Wilma Howell?

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She's young and can probably
still drive at night.

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Yes.

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I'll ask Wilma
to be my new best friend

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and have her
on this weekend with me.

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Maybe just ask her
if she wants to have lunch.

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Look at you, giving excellent
girlfriend advice.

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And don't worry,
whatever happens with Wilma,

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we'll always have us.

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I know that's not a threat,

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but it feels like one.

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Whoa. You can
slow down there, Toby.

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I don't think
cafeteria meat has
an expiration date.

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I need to bulk up.

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There's a scrimmage today,
and as of right now,

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my jersey looks like
a choir robe with
a number on it.

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Speaking of choir,
that is a cool
extracurricular

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that doesn't involve
the risk of injury,

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as long as you care for
your instrument.

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♪ Ming, mong
ming, mong, ming, mong
ming, mong, moong

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♪ Ming, mong ♪

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Hi, Wilma!
Mind if I join you?

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Actually,
I'm not really eating.

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Me either.

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What I've actually
got an appetite for

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is getting to know fellow
lady-teacher Wilma Howell.

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Who is she?
What makes her tick?

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You noticed my tic?

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My eye gets twitchy
when someone invades
my personal space.

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All I see are
those awesome lashes.

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Maybe she's born with it,
maybe it's Maybelline.

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Yeah, that's nice,
but I'd rather watch
mold grow.

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Wow, message received.

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But ignored.
I am not easily
discouraged.

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No, I seriously have
to watch this mold grow.Oh.

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I'm prepping samples

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for my first big
school-wide presentation

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to get kids
excited about biology.

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This cafeteria is a hotbed
for airborne spores.

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Oh, you don't have to sell me.
I eat here every day.

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In fact, I really oughta
wash my hands

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so I don't contaminate
my samples

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while they're getting
contaminated.

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What... What are you doing?
I'm going
to the bathroom with you.

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That's where girlfriends
go to dish and gossip.

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Sure, and we can talk
about that weird woman

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who tries to follow people
to the bathroom.

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Ooh. She sounds creepy.

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Oh.
Listen, Lainey,

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I'm just not
into that whole
gal-pal thing,

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especially with people
I work with.

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Truth is, from an
evolutionary perspective,

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having female friends
doesn't serve any
biological purpose.

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Unless you need
a tampon.

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There goes my eye again.

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LAINEY: But I wasn't
gonna give up.

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So, after school,
I followed Wilma

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to see if I could
make friends with her
out in the real world.

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Meanwhile, CB went
to football practice

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to keep an eye on Toby.

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Alright, team, huddle up!

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We're gonna run
Blue 76 Fullback Swing.

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Toby, you're the
quarterback's first look
on the strong side.

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You mean on the blind side

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'cause he'll be
scrambling left away
from the pass rush.

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Ha! The rookie
knows his stuff.

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While you guys were all out
having fun and dating,

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he was at home,
completely alone,
studying the plays.

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Let's go!

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Break!

187
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,463
You're giving
Toby the ball?
Oh, boy.

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00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,509
He'll do great,
exactly like Rudy.

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Should have
shown you Lucas.

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It's a more accurate
portrayal of a small boy

191
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who gets tackled
and winds up in
the hospital,

192
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,558
clinging to life.

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00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,299
When CB got nervous,
he juggled.

194
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Set, hut!

195
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,657
Oh, my God!
He caught it!

196
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,487
Run, Toby, run!

197
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,621
Yeah!

198
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,666
Yeah!
He dodged him!
He do... Phew!

199
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,365
Whoo!
CB: He scored!

200
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,150
I can't believe it.

201
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,065
Boo-yeah!Believe it, baby!

202
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,370
I was wrong, Coach.

203
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,720
What you did here
is a testament

204
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,025
to encouraging children
to dream.

205
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,244
It's a great moment.

206
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,159
I doff my cap to thee.

207
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,029
And you ruined it!

208
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,162
Did I do okay, Coach?

209
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:48,511
You did awesome.
You really sold it.

210
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,860
"Sold it"?
Sold what?

211
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,862
I almost forgot
not to tackle him.

212
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,298
I see something so small
and defenseless

213
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,430
and I want to crush it.

214
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,173
Oh, my God.
I can't believe
you'd do this.

215
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,175
You fake-Rudy'd him?
Exactly.

216
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,743
I just gave that boy the best
moment he'll have in his life

217
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,659
until he's at least,
I'm guessing, 26.

218
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:12,143
What element
makes up 65%
of the human body?

219
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,667
Oxygen.

220
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,799
And it's actually 65.4.

221
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,235
Right again.

222
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:20,325
And thank you
as always for your
very public correction.

223
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,066
Couldn't do it without
your very public inaccuracies.

224
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,113
And you said you didn't have
any female friends.

225
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:26,810
Did you follow me here?

226
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,246
Meh, who's to say
who followed who, you know?

227
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,205
I am. I'm saying
you followed me.

228
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,555
Can I get a Bahama Mama,
but instead of the
orange slice,

229
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,688
can I just get extra rum?
Thank you.

230
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,167
TRIVIA HOST: What star of
The Breakfast Club

231
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,300
was in the original cast
of Facts of Life?

232
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,258
Tootie?

233
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,564
Molly Ringwald.

234
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,479
Correct!

235
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,786
"Tootie"? Seriously?
I'm sorry.

236
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,571
My brain isn't stuffed full
of useless pop-culture fluff.

237
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,052
But mine is,
which would make us

238
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:54,011
the perfect teammates,
the Salt-N-Pepa of trivia.

239
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,186
No idea who that is.

240
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,710
Exactly why you need me.

241
00:08:58,842 --> 00:08:59,582
Fine.

242
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,716
You missed
the whole point
of Rudy.

243
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,065
Rudy earned
his moment of glory.

244
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,370
It wasn't just
handed to him.

245
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,372
Wah-wah.
Nobody cares
about that.

246
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,809
What Rudy did on the field

247
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,811
is the reason
they turned his story

248
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,769
into a beautiful movie
about sports triumph.

249
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,379
Our little Toby
just got to taste

250
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,077
the sweet nectar
of victory.

251
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,513
What's he gonna taste
in a real game

252
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,559
when all his face holes
get smashed in?

253
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,777
Won't happen.

254
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,039
Saturday is
our last game,

255
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606
and I'm gonna keep him
on the bench.

256
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,174
But he'll always
have the memory
of today's glory

257
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:29,481
as he slogs through
the next 50 years
as a wimpy nobody,

258
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,875
trying to brighten his day
with kooky ties.

259
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,311
Ah, really?

260
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,183
We're going there,
Mr. Short Shorts?

261
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,184
TOBY: Coach Mellor!

262
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,709
Oh. Hi. Hi.

263
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:40,841
Toby's Aunt Julie.

264
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,886
Oh, please,
just call me Julie.

265
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,236
Julie.
I got here early
to pick up Toby

266
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,586
and I saw
that last amazing play.

267
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,239
I took the rock
to the house!

268
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,111
Sure did, buddy.
All you.

269
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,200
Will Toby be playing
on Saturday, too?

270
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,854
I wasn't gonna come,
but if Toby is playing,

271
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,857
I'd love to see it,
and maybe afterwards,

272
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,946
we could go out
for pizza and you
and I could catch up.

273
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,817
Of course he's playing.
You saw him take it
to the house,

274
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,123
all on his own there.

275
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,951
Well, we'll see you
Saturday.Okay.

276
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,563
Holy crap,
that got away from me.

277
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,130
I might have
just killed Toby.

278
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,827
Well, on the bright side,
at least you can bring

279
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,307
Aunt Julie as a date
to the funeral.

280
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,748
LAINEY: Wilma and I were
vastly different people,

281
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,011
but those very differences
made us an awesome team.

282
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,796
Uranium-235.

283
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,928
Blink-182.

284
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,277
Johannes Diderik
van der Waals.

285
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,757
James Van Der Beek.

286
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,541
The identification
of chromosomes

287
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,369
as the carriers
of genetic material

288
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,502
as stated in
the Boveri-Sutton theory!

289
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,983
Pogs.
Correct answer!

290
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,334
Mmm!
Time to tally up the score
and announce our winner.

291
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,076
Winners.
That would be us.

292
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,947
I'm so glad
you stalked me
here tonight.

293
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,949
If we win,
I probably won't even
call the cops on you.

294
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,299
Listen, I have an
extra ticket to a show.

295
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,258
Do you want to go to Philly
with me for the weekend

296
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,825
to have a spa day
and see Boyz II Men?

297
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,479
That sounds really nice,
but I don't even
know that group.

298
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,872
I'll Make Love to You.

299
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,178
I think you may have
different expectations

300
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,353
for this friendship
than I do.

301
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,747
No, that's one of
their hits. Like...

302
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,358
♪ Motown Philly's
back again

303
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:06,187
♪ Doing a little
east-coast fling

304
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,405
♪ Da-da-da

305
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,624
♪ Going off

306
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,105
♪ Not too hard
not too soft

307
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,497
That's Boyz II Men?

308
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,021
Oh, I do know them.
I'm in!

309
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,849
Yes!

310
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,068
BOTH:  ♪ Motown Philly's back again ♪

311
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,855
CB: Really stressed
about this.

312
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,726
You can't let Toby
play on Saturday.

313
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,510
I also can't let
the kid down.

314
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,121
Or his aunt.
Mmm-hmm.

315
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,644
Eh, you made me
lose count of
my blueberries.

316
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,385
Look, it's better to break
Toby's heart

317
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,300
than all the bones
in his body, okay?

318
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:35,259
It is our job as teachers
to deliver hard truths
to these kids.

319
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,870
Coach, check it out.

320
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:40,656
Oh. It's a Toby-sized
letterman jacket.

321
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,571
Is that the one they made
for our halftime monkey

322
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,878
before those wet blankets
at PETA shut us down?

323
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,357
I'm the one
who reported that.

324
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,577
Monkey seemed so sad.

325
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,622
I'm just so proud
to wear it.

326
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,800
CB, you had some hard truth
you wanted to dump on Toby?

327
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,844
Yes.

328
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,195
That jacket
is dry-clean only.

329
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,328
Could get pretty pricy.Worth it.

330
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,460
And plus, I've never felt
so popular before.

331
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:05,681
And I've even
seen a downward
trend in my pantsings.

332
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,857
The only question is
do we get our cheesesteaks

333
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:08,902
before or after
the pedicures?

334
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,468
During. We don't eat
with our feet.

335
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:11,339
Ding!
Correct answer.

336
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,733
Well, look at you two.

337
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,299
Do I hear friendship bells?

338
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,692
Ooh.
Friendship Belles.

339
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,389
That should be our new name
for trivia night.Ooh.

340
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,696
Nothing makes me happier
than when my teachers

341
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,133
grow very close
with someone
other than me.

342
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,484
Oh, my God. Look at the way
he's eating his yogurt.

343
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,616
Just like the guy
from last night.

344
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,791
Right?

345
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,488
BOTH: Soupy!

346
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,534
You know what?
I'm gonna go eat
in my office.

347
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,144
Yogurt should be private.

348
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,495
Hello?

349
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:40,237
Erica, what's up, girl?

350
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,065
Your mom's party's
been canceled?

351
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,415
There's rain in the forecast
and the doves refuse
to work wet.

352
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,721
Your mom must be
out of her mind.

353
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,853
Who is she taking
it out on?

354
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,942
At the moment, Al Roker.

355
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,640
But the good news is that
I'm back in for Boyz II Men.

356
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,033
So, now you can
do this weekend?

357
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,776
Um, the thing is,
actually, I...

358
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,256
It's okay.
Don't worry about me.

359
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,475
Are you sure?
Yeah, just go
with your friend.

360
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,432
I feel bad.
Yeah, don't.

361
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,435
Alright. I guess
I'll see you on Friday.

362
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,655
Girls II Boyz
II Men. Yay.

363
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,919
Sorry about that.

364
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,442
Erica's my oldest friend
and I asked her first.

365
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,792
Makes perfect sense.

366
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,229
But you are officially
my coolest friend

367
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,883
because you are
being so cool
about all this,

368
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,754
which is so cool.

369
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,799
Cool.

370
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,020
Oh, my God. Check out
that girl dipping her fries
in her chocolate milk,

371
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,369
just like Dippy last night.

372
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,632
Do you remember Dippy?

373
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,112
I should get to class.

374
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,201
Wait, come on.
Eh, Soupy's date.

375
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,681
Dippy. Dippy!

376
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,204
Listen,
last night was great.

377
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,902
Trivia, Soupy.

378
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,599
Let's just be good
with that and not try
to make more of it.

379
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,474
CB! Come on in here.
I got some good news.

380
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,737
I figured out a way to get
this kid to play Saturday

381
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:46,826
without having
to rename the field

382
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,828
"Toby Murphy
Memorial Stadium."

383
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,047
Thank God.
I was so stressed.

384
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,527
I had to juggle it out
all morning.

385
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,659
You can't put that little
nose hair on the field,
Coach.

386
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:55,922
It's the last game
of the season.

387
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,358
I-I got scouts coming.

388
00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,794
My whole troop.

389
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,972
We're gonna run one play,
and it goes like this.

390
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:07,107
It's called the
Red Dog 86 Omaha
Don't Let Toby Die.

391
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,978
Oh, I feel very
uncomfortable with this.

392
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,025
So, this is another
big fake-out,

393
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,461
like when we let Toby
think he scored
a touchdown?

394
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,028
Exactly.

395
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,030
We just give him
the ball and then we
move him downfield

396
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,859
like a herd of elephants
guarding a tiny,
useless duckling.

397
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,078
So, this has all
been a lie?

398
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,603
Toby.

399
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:27,867
Well, okay,
the touchdown, maybe,

400
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,043
but that feeling
it gave you,

401
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,871
that moment of glory,
that was real.

402
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,481
I didn't ask for glory.

403
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,874
I asked for a shot
to be part of the team.

404
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,092
And now I see
I'm just a joke.

405
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,267
You're not a joke.

406
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:38,878
No. I'm a duckling.

407
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,495
Okay, I'm bummed.
You bummed?

408
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,584
So bummed.

409
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:50,715
Let's go do some reps.

410
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,108
Yeah.

411
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,504
That's the
last time I do something
completely selfless.

412
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,027
Selfless?

413
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,376
You weren't even
thinking about Toby.

414
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,335
Seems to me like
you were more interested

415
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,684
in grabbing a pizza
with Aunt Julie.

416
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:03,903
That's ridiculous.

417
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,514
I have zero interest
in empty carbs.

418
00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:08,646
You got some
soul-searching
to do, brother.

419
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,300
I'm gonna leave you
with these.

420
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,693
Good luck.

421
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,133
LAINEY:
With Erica back in
on our girls' weekend,

422
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,179
I tried to score
an extra ticket for Wilma.

423
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:20,658
Are seats five
or eight available?

424
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,531
And if not, what is your
age limit on lap babies?

425
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,925
Forget it.

426
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,970
Do you ever have days where
everyone is annoying you?

427
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,233
I do. Why are you
in my office?

428
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,322
I thought I successfully
pawned you off on Wilma?

429
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,280
I'm worried
I blew that friendship.

430
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,108
No!

431
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,587
Erica Goldberg
suddenly became available

432
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,154
for our girls' weekend.

433
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,808
And you kicked poor Wilma
to the curb?

434
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,244
She said it was fine.

435
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,204
We always say it's fine
when a friend callously
brushes us aside,

436
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,902
but the heart feels
what the mouth won't say.

437
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,949
I was trying to protect Erica
because she is my
oldest friend.

438
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,168
Which is why it's okay
to treat her like crap.

439
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,605
This new friendship
with Wilma is fragile

440
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,216
and needs nurturing,

441
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,870
and I want this
for you both.Me too.

442
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,742
I'm gonna go figure out
a way to make this
up to her.

443
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,010
Oh, hi. Julie.

444
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,882
Aunt Julie.
Are you looking for Toby?

445
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,407
I'm not sure if he has
any more dreams
available to crush,

446
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,409
but he loves that bike
if you want to
slash the tires.

447
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:16,236
Please don't.

448
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,934
Come in, Coach.

449
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,501
I was just opening up
a Lunchable.

450
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,416
We'll be in
the sitting room.

451
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:23,721
I feel bad about
what I did to you.

452
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:24,809
It was not okay.

453
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,508
So...

454
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,205
Here's eight bucks.

455
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,641
I think that's fair.

456
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,948
You tricked me and made me
a laughing stock at school.

457
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,691
As a teacher,
you want to tell your kids

458
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,519
they can do anything
they set their mind to,

459
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,216
but sometimes,
that's just a crock.

460
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,132
Look, I've always wanted
to be a jockey,

461
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:46,744
but unfortunately,
I'm six feet of solid
tiger meat.

462
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,485
But I really love football.

463
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:51,314
And you can still
be a part of it.

464
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,056
I'm about to pay you
the highest compliment
possible.

465
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,841
Toby, I think
you could be a coach.

466
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,192
I mean, I'm looking
at some of the plays
you've drawn up.

467
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,454
There's a lot
of smart strategy here.

468
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,108
Maybe someday.

469
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,718
But I've always had
my heart set on playing

470
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:05,589
a real game, just once.

471
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,592
Okay, pal.

472
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,160
I owe you.

473
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,380
You're going out
on that field on Saturday,

474
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,077
and the reason
it's gonna work

475
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,297
is we're running
one of your plays.

476
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,299
Remember how I said I wasn't
in this for the glory?

477
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,216
I would very much
like some glory, please.

478
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:24,652
That's 'cause you're
a red-blooded American.

479
00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:36,533
Hey. Could you use these
for your project?

480
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,231
I'm doing
a presentation
on mold,

481
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,059
not hot dog buns
that someone
has scribbled on

482
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,277
with green marker.

483
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,978
Well, it was supposed to be
kind of a peace offering.

484
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,893
Shouldn't you be
in Philly with Erica,

485
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:52,288
getting Shiatsu'd
with a belly full
of cheesesteak?

486
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:55,422
I didn't go.
I gave Erica
both tickets.

487
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,251
I just couldn't enjoy myself
after how I treated you.

488
00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,687
I'm actually grateful
because you reminded me

489
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,558
why I'm not so keen
on girlfriends.

490
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:04,300
So much more relaxing
spending my free time

491
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,389
with Aspergillus fumigatus.

492
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,999
She's reliable,
self-sufficient,

493
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,610
and we both like
hanging out in my bathtub.

494
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,307
But can she drive you
to the airport

495
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:12,743
or hold your hair
when you're vomiting?

496
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:15,181
No, but she can
make you vomit.
Very toxic.

497
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,313
And then penicillin
will fix you right up.

498
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:20,273
That's the wild ride
mold takes you on.

499
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,449
Look, I like you, Wilma,

500
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,625
and I don't seem
to make friends
easily anymore.

501
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:25,974
So, when I decide
it's happening,

502
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,628
I do not take no
for an answer.

503
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,457
Ask around.
I-I'm as hard
to get rid of as

504
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,112
that gross thing growing
on that toothbrush.

505
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,592
Ulocladium.
Whatever it is.

506
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,073
I hope the students
appreciate the awesomeness

507
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,770
of what you
have done here.

508
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,120
When do your doors open?

509
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:42,991
Two hours ago.

510
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,993
It's been kind of
a soft opening.

511
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:47,343
Because you need me
to generate buzz.

512
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,998
Come on. We made a heck
of a team doing trivia.

513
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,391
We already
have your science brains.

514
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,306
Now all we need is my...Useless fluff?

515
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,177
I was going to say
showmanship, but sure.

516
00:18:57,614 --> 00:19:01,227
♪ Moldtown Philly's
back again

517
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,881
LAINEY: And so,
with some assistance
from the Quaker's Dozen,

518
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:07,363
I helped my friend Wilma
find a way to get kids
sold on mold.

519
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,757
♪ Going off ♪

520
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,326
♪ Makes salami hard
makes cheese soft ♪

521
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,155
Meanwhile, it was down
to the wire at the big game.

522
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,939
We're running Toby's
special play.

523
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,419
You guys know how this goes?

524
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:22,596
We got it, Coach.
"Team" on three.

525
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,902
One, two, three...
ALL: Team!

526
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,426
They're putting Toby in?

527
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:29,429
Um, does anyone have
any harlequin balls,

528
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,865
uh, Indian clubs,
anything one can juggle?

529
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:31,779
Any... Ma'am?

530
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:32,910
Blue 90!

531
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,043
Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

532
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,610
Wait, "Rudy"?
It's a pity play.

533
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,569
They're gonna throw it
to that little twerp.
Get him!

534
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:43,660
Both Toby and Wilma were
in totally uncharted waters,

535
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,141
but they also realized
if your friends have
your back,

536
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,535
you can accomplish
some pretty big things.

537
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,755
♪ So many types
of mold going off ♪

538
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,670
Set, hut!

539
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:54,802
Here, here!

540
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,021
With the defense tricked
into guarding Toby,

541
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,719
Ronnie was free to run it in.

542
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:01,330
So, even though Toby
didn't actually score
the touchdown

543
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,940
or even touch the ball...

544
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:06,074
...it was his moment of glory because his sneaky play won the game.

545
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,468
It worked! Yes!

546
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,773
Yeah!

547
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:19,043
It was a joyful reminder
for the Rudy in all of us

548
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,784
to never give up
on our dreams.

549
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:32,970
♪ Moldtown Philly's
back again

550
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:36,322
♪ Doin' a little
fungal thing

551
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,239
♪ Lots of mold goin' off

552
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,415
♪ Makes salami hard

553
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,982
♪ Makes cheese soft

554
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:49,160
♪ It's long overdue, but now
the fridge needs cleanin'

555
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:52,033
♪ Boyz II Men, toss that meat spray that bleach

556
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,730
♪ Protect your family

557
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,863
♪ Should I keep this beet?
♪ Nah

558
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,952
♪ It's stinkin' up
South Street

559
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,867
♪ Jet black mold
fruit got old

560
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,435
♪ And all the Philly steaks
smell like feet

561
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:06,352
♪ Back in school, we used to
learn about mold every day

562
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,875
♪ Should I keep on
scrubbing?

563
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:11,139
♪ Or does mildew
fade away? Yeah

564
00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:14,621
♪ So we started brushing
until the grout was smooth

565
00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:16,884
♪ Then we rinsed it off
and here we are

566
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:20,322
♪ Cleanin' it just for you

567
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,758
♪ Boyz II Men

568
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,369
♪ B-B-Boyz II Men