- [Sam] Tonight.
Absolutely loving the texture of everything.
it's Josh Ruben.
(Josh sighs)
- Oh.
Oh.
(Josh gasps)
Oh.
(Josh squeals)
Oh.
- [Sam] Like a cartoon pig
to a steaming pie on a window sill, it's Zac Oyama.
(Zac mimicking pig grunting)
- [Zac] Ooh.
(Zac squeals)
- [Sam] And doing an old timey strip tease through the door,
it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
- Ooh.
(crew laughing)
(Sam laughs)
This may take a while.
The garments are quite complicated.
(Sam laughs)
- [Sam] They're all here to...
- [Players] "Make Some Noise."
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good, we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich.
Here's how the show works.
- [Sam] What is happening over there? (cast making fighting noises)
I have here a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right, players?
- We're a little busy, Sam trying to save the universe.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award them corresponding points
and the winner will go home with the coveted golden ear.
Straight up, we have no idea where these came from.
Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Yes, Sam-sei.
- Jesh. Did I get that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
- Zec?
- That's correct.
- Bronnon. - Bronnon.
- Got it. - Bronnon.
- That brings us to round one.
Josh. - Huh?
- "Tom Cruise explains his dangerous new
'Mission Impossible' stunt." - Ha ha.
Ha! (Brennan laughs)
All right, we all watched me take a bike off a cliff.
Now I'm gonna pick up a little kid,
jump on a plane through a roof, through a train,
and into a big pool.
Now, I wanna do all this in my sleep with my hands tied.
I want everyone to go to bed.
I'm gonna go to bed too, and I wanna eat a big cookie
that's gonna put me to sleep, not keep me up all night.
'Cause I'm gonna need those carbs in my dreams
to be able to jump off a cliff through a roof
in a train, in a pool with my hands tied down in bed.
(Sam laughs) - [Josh] We'll find out.
(Zac and Brennan laughs)
- [Sam] Josh. - Yeah?
- I'm so sorry.
I just realized I got this wrong.
- Wait, what is it?
- "Tom Cruise's new 'Mission Impossible' stunt
goes terribly wrong."
- Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now.
All right, cool. Yeah, tie me down.
All right.
- Do you want your big cookie right-
- Yeah, big cookie that'll put me to sleep.
- Okay.
- All right, go ahead and feed it to me. Go ahead.
Here we go, bud.
(Josh mimics chewing)
- Turn it. Turn it.
- Yeah. No, I can do it.
All right, I'm gonna go to bed now.
Little do they know I'm allergic (coughs) to flour.
- [Josh] It's fine.
(Josh gasping)
I'm fine. (coughs)
(Sam laughs)
I'm having an allergic attack,
but I'm not gonna tell anyone 'cause I'm Tom Cruise.
(Josh sighs)
(Sam laughs)
Whoa. The afterlife is really cool.
(Sam laughs)
Vroom, vroom, angels.
(Sam and crew laughing)
I'm a ghost now.
Okay, God. Let's do a cool stunt now.
I'm going through your camera.
- Mr. Cruise has gone into cardiac arrest.
Something's blocking his air capacity.
As a doctor, what I'd recommend is we need to feed him
a second really big cookie- - Really large cookie.
- Oh no, no, guys, please, no.
Ah, come on. - And turn it.
And start turning it. - Turn it.
- They're feeding my dead mouth a cookie.
- I'm gonna work his jaw. - Yeah, yeah.
- And you get the cookie in.
Mr. Cruise, swallow!
- Oh my God. It's working.
(Josh sucking in air)
(Josh gasps)
Oh, man, that was great.
- [Zac] Hey. - Yeah?
- We got it.
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
- Good.
Probably one of the weirder finale prompts.
- Not going through a boat, a house with a child.
- No.
- Literally died after eating a cookie-
- A big cookie. Tied down.
- Seven points that do their own stunts to you, Josh.
- [Zac] Oh my god.
- Which brings us to Zec.
- Ye?
- "Five rejected Mario idle animations."
- I forgot-a my watch.
(all laughing)
This is not-a my hat.
(all laughing)
This is-a my hat.
(all laughing)
(Sam laughs)
Oh, this is-a Luigi's hat.
Why does he write his name in-a my hat?
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
(Sam laughs)
- The hip swaying was so alarming.
- Let's say 10 stars, 60 moons,
but zero points to you. - Yahoo!
- Wa-ha!
- Wah!
- Brennan. - Yes.
- "Kermit the Frog representing himself on a murder charge."
- Well, golly, I understand that the prosecution
has presented a really compelling case.
(Sam laughs)
And obviously Fozzie Bear was a close friend.
(all laughing)
- [Sam] Oh, no.
- But ask yourself this question.
If I were to be the one that killed Fozzie Bear,
why would I have recorded going to see him alone that night?
Wouldn't I have wanted to cover that up?
Doesn't this speak that I've been framed?
My name written in the ledger
of the motel was written in pink glittery ink.
- Hm?
(all laughing)
- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
you've been watching me in a really
toxic situation for decades (all laughing)
and nobody's done anything.
(Josh grunting)
I understand that there's a gender dynamic,
but Miss Piggy is four or five times my physical size.
(Josh grunting) She's incredibly strong
and I know that she's in the courtroom-
(Josh yelling) (Brennan yelling)
(Sam laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
(crew clapping)
- Let's say a "Takes Manhattan" amount points for you-
- Wow. - [Sam] Brennan.
- Josh. - Why?
- "What D&D sounds like to someone who doesn't play."
- Now, I'd like to just set the scene
for what we're all doing. - Right.
- Everybody has horns, okay? (all laughing)
And also, like, generally, what are you all excited about?
I'm being a big dress.
Zac?
- I want to fight people. I think that's fun.
- Awesome.
- Would love to sort of solve the mystery at the core-
- Ah, that sounds silly.
Let's also talk generally
about what kind of horns do we have?
My horns, they shoot guns and they also do lasers.
Brennan?
- My horns shoot guns and do lasers, too.
- Oh, shit. Zac?
- We all kind of have the same set of horns.
- Should we all roll a die and kind of talk,
talk about other stuff? (Sam laughs)
Yeah, you go. Yeah.
- So far we're not announcing
what we get on the dice, is that normal?
- No, no, no. We should.
We should? - Right.
- When you just rolled just now,
you get more horns, more lasers and a bunch of guns.
(all laughing)
Yeah. (button buzzes)
Yeah.
(Sam laughs)
I just wanna be included. Just one episode.
- Stealth point check roll with advantage for you, Josh.
- No idea.
- Moving right along to Zec.
- Ye.
- "John Wick realizes his dog
was just hiding under the bed."
(Zac grunting)
(Zac mimics bullets pinging)
(Zac grunts)
- That was for you, Rufus. That was for you.
(Brennan barks)
(all laughing)
- I almost feel like I can hear you, which is so fucked up
because I killed so many people for you.
But I miss you every day, bud.
(Brennan barks)
Oh, no. (all laughing)
Rufus?
Oh.
(Brennan panting)
Oh.
Hey bud. (Sam laughs)
What you doin'?
Hey, what happened? I thought you were dead.
Oh, no.
Hey, hey bud. I'm gonna make a phone call.
Medallion folks, what's going on?
(Sam laughs)
Listen, truce.
(Sam laughs) (buzzer buzzes)
- "Listen." - [Brennan] "Listen."
- "Listen." - [Brennan] "Truce."
(Sam laughs)
- Let's say a killing spree amount of points for you.
(Josh laughs)
- Oh, that's rad.
- Brennan, there is nothing more that I love
of "Make Some Noise" than serving you up
a prompt to do with billionaires
and watching you take those dicks down.
- Oh no.
- "A take down of billionaires
Rihanna, Beyonce, and Oprah.
- [Josh] Oh.
(all laughing)
(Sam laughing)
- Ooh ugh.
(all laughing)
I'll be over here.
- So...
(all laughing)
You know, in the past when I have belittled
billionaires of our country,
I think I've committed a really great error,
which was not focusing on the system of capitalism
rather than individual, and I'm packing up to leave.
Because can we really expect
or anticipate the system to change
based on the actions of individuals?
(Brennan mimics window thudding)
(all laughing)
No, no, no. (Sam laughing)
Windy.
My umbrella.
- Shields on windows.
(Josh imitating mechanical shades closing)
(Sam laughing)
- The important thing is,
it's fun to take the shit out of Jeff Bezos
and Elon Musk because, you know,
they're kind of ridiculous individuals.
But we get lost sometimes critiquing individuals
rather than the ways we're all complicit.
(Brennan mimics jack hammer thudding)
(all laughing)
Burrowing, burrowing, burrowing.
Hard hat.
Suitcase.
Wee!
(Zac and Josh making tunnel sounds)
- Send him back up.
Turn up thermostat.
- God. It's fuckin' hot.
There are some critiques that people could offer
of certain individuals,
but I leave that to the people that are in community
and can speak more to that than I.
(Sam laughs)
Wow, we're live streaming. Great.
But the important thing that I wanna say is,
what is important is, here we go...
(frantic magical chanting)
(poofing out of existence sounds)
(Sam laughing)
- Counter spell.
Counter spell.
- Fuck, man, help me out! (buzzer buzzes)
- [Sam] Cut!
- [Zac] A lot of people are mad.
(all laughing)
- Incredible. - Who wrote that prompt?
- Paul Robalino.
- A truly great prompt.
- Mr. Big Head himself.
- Let's say a billion problematic
but well loved points for you, Brennan.
- Thank you.
- Josh. - Yeah.
- I think you can understand it
when I say at a certain point we just ran outta gas.
- Hit me, dude. I can do fucking anything, like my m...
(Josh gasps)
- [Sam] "Whatever Zac and Brennan want."
- Wow.
Let's do Robin Williams keeps getting smaller and bigger.
- Well, here I am. Bigger than everybody else.
(sounds of Josh crushing towns)
I'm so sorry about all the leaders and civilians, I've-
Uh oh.
(all laughing) Now I'm tiny.
Now I'm tiny. Please, don't step on me.
I think I shrunk the Robin. Why?
(all laughing)
- Could we do Tony Robbins being attacked by seagulls?
- Well, the thing about being a motivational speaker...
(Josh mimics seagulls squealing)
Is uh, you have to realize for financial success...
(Josh mimics seagulls squealing)
Fuck. (Sam laughs)
Fuck.
For financial success, you have to be willing
to do anything.
Punch a bird, sorry. Punch out your debt.
Fuck!
(buzzer buzzes)
- That's pretty great, Josh.
Let's say a seagull noise amount of points
for you, Josh.
Zac, whatever Josh and Brennan want.
- I should have known. (Josh laughs)
- A doctor about to operate
and he realizes he's never used his left arm before.
- Scalpel.
(all laughing)
Huh.
- Could you be a coroner who looks in the rear view mirror
and realizes the body got lost on the highway
like a half a mile ago?
(Sam laughs)
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
(all laughing)
- Oh, Zac. A well timed amount of points for you.
Brennan. - Huh?
- [Sam] Whatever Josh and Zach want.
- Can you be King Arthur's buddy, Chaz, who lost Excalibur?
(all laughing)
- I fucking buffed it, dude.
(all laughing)
- Inarticulate "Braveheart."
(Zac laughs)
- Everybody here is Scottish!
(all laughing)
But if you're not, but you wanna help, you can!
(all laughing)
My face is blue, part of it, because these guys are mean
and they killed my wife and your wife,
maybe, too, if they did!
Let's get 'em!
(all laughing) (buzzer buzzes)
- I don't like what it says about my job,
but those were all good.
(Brennan laughs)
Let's say a Snapple caps facts
amount of points for you, Brennan.
- [Zac] Snapple cap.
(upbeat music)
- This is a little mini game
that we like to call, "Name That."
In this case, dance moves.
- Okay.
- Players, it works like this.
I'm gonna show you a dance move.
You buzz in and name that dance move for me.
Does that make sense?
- Okay. No problem.
- Could I have our first dance move, please?
- Oh my god. Where's it coming...
- [Sam] Oh.
- Hi.
- [Josh] Hello.
(upbeat music)
- Oh.
(upbeat music continues)
(bell dings)
- Zac.
- The To and Fro.
- The To and Fro is pretty good. I like that, Zac.
(bell dings) Josh.
- The Mail Room.
- Yeah, work in the mail room.
I mean, look at this.
(Sam laughs) (bell dings)
Just imagine a bunch of fuckin' letters.
- Brennan. - Uh, uh, Nipple Slappin'.
- I like Nipple Slapping.
- The fingers were always within the areola.
- I am gonna say that that point goes to Brennan.
- Yeah!
- And if I could have the second dance move, please.
Music.
(upbeat rock music)
(all laughing)
(bell dings) Josh.
- Oh my god, Uncle Mike's having a heart attack.
Oh, no. Oh, no wait, he's fine.
Oh, now he's doing the sexy cat.
Okay. Yeah, no, I think he's good.
Oh, and he puked.
(bell dings) - Brennan.
- Self-Administered Heimlich. (Sam laughs)
(bell dings)
- Zac.
- The To and Fro!
(all laughing)
- Pretty good, Zac. I'm gonna say this one goes to you.
- Okay. (Brennan laughs)
- Dance move number three.
(electronic music)
Shit.
(electronic music continues)
(bell dings)
Josh.
- Euro Dad.
- Euro Dad's good, Josh. (bell dings)
Brennan.
- Marquess of Queensbury Rules.
- One more time.
- I actually have finally gone off the deep end
where not a person in the studio
knows what the fuck I'm talking about.
(all laughing)
- What are you talking about?
- Marquess Of Queensbury rules
are traditional rules in boxing.
When you see the little sort of, like,
the racist Irish caricature- - [Sam] Yes.
- Of the like- - Yes, yes, yes.
- Fists facing. That's Marquess of Queensbury.
I've done a lot of deep cuts
and no one was with me on that one.
- [Zac] I did not. (Sam and crew laughing)
- Dead quiet.
(bell dings) - Zac.
- I just lost a game of Fortnite to a 10-year-old.
(all laughing)
They're being mean to me.
- Yeah, Zac, we're gonna say you for that one as well.
- You don't have to.
- If I could please have dance move number four.
(upbeat electronic music)
(upbeat electronic music continues)
(bell dings) Brennan.
- Nipple first aid after the first dance.
(Sam laughs)
Smearing ointment on your nipples.
(bell dings) - Zac.
- I'm not sure if anyone has said this yet. Euro Dad.
(all laughing)
- That's really good, Zac. - Cool.
(Sam laughs) (bell dings)
- Josh. - I actually think Euro Dad,
which was my original idea,
applies more to this one or equally,
so let's just imagine that you heard it from me first.
- You're just gonna do the same prompt that Zac did?
- So, but- (bell dings)
- Brennan.
- Euro Dad. (all laughing)
- Interesting!
(Sam laughs)
- [Josh] Really think it applies to-
- [Zac] Why would you do that?
- [Brennan] I don't know, man, I just, that came to me.
There's a lot of- - No way.
Apparently that move is in fact called Euro Dad.
(Zac gasps)
Which means that that has got to go
to Zac for his inventiveness.
(all laughing) Well done, Zac.
- [Dad] Congratulations, Zac.
- [Zac] Oh my god. - I mean, you gotta credit
the originator, right?
- [Zac] I'm sorry to you.
(Josh grunts)
(all laughing)
- And last but not least,
if I could please have dance number five.
(upbeat rhythmic music)
Oh.
- [Sam] Woo. (crew cheering)
- [Sam] Damn.
(bell dings) Zac.
- Flamingo Mating Season.
- That's actually, like,
maybe the first great submission that we've had
this whole game. (all laughing)
(bell dings) Josh.
- Spooky, Scary, Fun, and Hairy.
- That's pretty good. (bell dings)
Brennan.
- Cobra Could Care.
You're like smearing a little...
- Reluctantly, this point goes to Josh.
(Brennan laughs)
Dad, I want to thank you so much
for treating us to your dance moves today.
- Thank you for having me.
- You are a formidable stage presence.
(all clapping) - Thank you, thank you.
(soft upbeat music)
- That brings us to round two,
where our players will now test their talents
in teams of twos.
Josh. - Why?
- Zach. - Yeah.
- "Two boom guys on Variety's 'Boom Guys on Boom Guys.'"
- You know I got hit in the head by Bob Richardson
on the set of, uh-
- Bob hit a lot of people. - Yeah, he did.
- And actually a little lower.
- Sorry. - [Zac] You can go lower.
- I'm just gonna go behind the head.
Or actually I can go lower like this.
- Can I see frame?
(Sam laughs)
Little lower.
- Do you have any Cardellinis or no? You good?
- Cardellinis? Let me check.
Cardellinis?
- The thing is, us sound guys,
normally we get hit in the head a lot.
- We actually hit ourselves with the the pole a lot.
- Yeah, sometimes, that's just how it works,
where you could walk backwards, fall, hit your head,
especially if you're working with Bob Richardson.
- So Bob's hit a lot of people in the head.
- Did you ever get hit by him or no?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Three times. Pop, pop, pop.
- Pop, pop, pop.
- It was just a closed set and I walked in a little too far.
- You ever fall off a condor?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? - [Zac] A couple times.
- Me too. - Actually a little lower.
- Oh, sorry. How's frame?
How's frame?
- Can we paint that out?
- Yeah, we could the Fincher. - [Zac] I'm buying it.
(buzzer buzzes) - We could do the Fincher
and paint it out.
- What is a Cardellini clamp?
- What isn't a Cardellini clamp?
- 65 points peaking out of control to you both.
- [Zac] Oh.
- Zac. - Mm-hm?
- And Brennan. - Yeah?
- "One of these students clearly did all the work
on the group project." (Josh laughs)
- Thank you. (all laughing)
- Okay, so, each of the binders relates to
one of the parties in the mock contract
that our professor wants us to look at.
So essentially it's a multi-part deal
between what would be primary talent or the actor,
this would be the producer, this would be the studio,
and then this would be for the director
who's only attached if the star is attached.
So that was theoretically
supposed to be us and the other two guys.
The other two guys kind of bailed, uh-
- I mean unreal, right?
(all laughing)
- All we're basically looking for here is...
- Look at this message.
(Sam laughs)
And then I said this. That's pretty good, right?
(Sam laughs)
- It's awesome that someone said hey to you on Bumble.
That's so, that's so sick.
But ultimately we...
Yeah, there's not a lot of follow up in these conversations.
(all laughing)
- I just, I'm building connections.
- Not with me. (Sam laughs)
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry, dude. (Sam laughs)
I just need to know if you got the binders for them,
because that was the one thing.
Your dad literally owns a print shop.
It's the easiest thing for you to do.
It's actually quite difficult for me
to do that with my resources.
- Can I tell you something?
Your words have an effect on people.
(Sam laughing)
I mean, maybe I didn't get the binders,
but maybe that's because you- - You can't just-
- Said something really fucking hurtful to me.
- So the reason you didn't do something in the past
is because of what I said right now?
(all laughing)
The reason you didn't do something already
is because of what happened now?
After you already- - It's a group project, okay?
- Mr. Richardson, Mr. Pinks,
truly looking forward to your presentation.
How are you feeling about it?
- Thanks, dad. I'm good.
- Oh, good. (Sam laughs)
(buzzer buzzes)
Hope you like the print shop.
(all laughing)
- Let's say 35 out of 100 points to you both.
Please see me after class.
- What? - What?
- Brennan and Josh.
- Oi. - Why?
- "A reanimated corpse is somehow
nailing this job interview."
- So this says that you were,
you were first class at Harvard University.
Let me understand that.
Were you first in class or are you saying
you were in the first class
that graduated Harvard University?
Because I'll tell you what, if you're in the first class
that graduated Harvard University, that's incredible,
but that would make you like 180 years old.
(Sam laughing)
You founded AT&T.
That's remarkable job experience.
Special skills: still being alive.
That is out of control. (all laughing)
That is so fascinating.
Now for references,
I'm noticing that we don't have telephone numbers listed.
We just have addresses that all say the Colony of Virginia.
(Sam and crew laughing)
Sir, I'm gonna be honest.
You're covered in flies and maggots
(Sam laughs)
and you have a stink like nothing I've ever smelled before
and we need you working at Jackson-Hewitt.
Please put it right...
(Brennan yells)
(buzzer buzzes) (Sam laughing)
- Zero points to you both. Far too scary.
Which brings us all the way back to Josh.
- Why?
- And Zac. - Yeah.
- This one might be a touch familiar.
"Jigsaw might just be a little lonely."
(Zac gasps)
- Where am I?
- Welcome to the death zone.
- You're Jigsaw, right? You got me the last time, man.
I was in that room with the blanket. (Josh making tricycle noises)
- That's right. Welcome back to hell.
- [Zac] Ah!
- But first, um, you want see a cool move
I can do on my tricycle? (all laughing)
- Sure, I'll watch a cool move.
- Okay, check this out. Ready?
- Okay. Yeah, yeah.
(Josh mimics tricycle squeaking)
Yeah, back up a little bit. You want speed.
(Josh mimics tricycle squeaking)
Oh, that's it?
- Oh. - That's pretty cool, right?
(all laughing)
- Yeah.
- Do you want to know what my favorite color is?
(all laughing)
- Yeah, like, what's your favorite color?
- Chartreuse.
- Chartreuse. Wow.
That's not a lot of people's favorite color.
That's really special.
- What's your favorite color?
- Blue.
It's blue. - Cool.
(Josh mimics tricycle squeaking)
(all laughing)
- Hey, Jigsaw, I just wanted to put it out there, like,
you don't have to sort of kidnap me
and torture me in order to hang out.
I would just, I just hang out
if you ever wanted to just hang out.
- Oh, that's cool.
Well, I actually feel pretty good about our conversation,
so here's 100 rats eating you from the inside out.
- No, no, no, no, no. - Bye, bye.
(Zac grunts)
(Sam laughs)
(Zac grunting)
(Josh mimics tricycle squeaking)
- Jigsaw, you're a fucking loser.
- Fuck you, dude.
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
- [Brennan] "Fuck you, dude."
- Jesus Christ, Josh.
- Fuck you, dude.
- 12 points inside one another's stomachs
for the two of you. (Brennan gasps)
Which brings us back to Zac.
- Okay. - And Brennan.
- I was gonna say.
- "A noble knight's sworn oath
starts to concern their liege lord."
(Sam laughs)
- My Lord. (Brennan grunts)
I've journeyed far to pledge my fealty to you.
I have slain many a fowl beast,
(Brennan chuckles) many a geese
- Hm?
- Running through the fields within the shire.
The geese were absolutely out of control.
(all laughing)
Many fell to my blade.
They have those long, slender necks.
Pretty easy to take out. (all laughing)
I didn't eat any of 'em.
I don't like eating geese. It's sort of gamey.
But enough about that. (all laughing)
I'm here and I will do whatever you want.
I will kill whoever you want.
I will slay whatever geese
may run afoul of you, pun intended.
(all laughing)
But enough about that. (all laughing)
What were you saying?
- I didn't say shit, man. I didn't say shit.
You keep saying enough about that, and frankly, Sir Bravas,
I disagree that we've had enough about that.
How many geese did you kill on the way to the castle?
- 60... - Holy-
- 70,000.
- Se...
(all laughing)
- There are no more geese in these lands
for I have taken them all out in your name and I shot-
- In my name?!
- "Lord Kilbington," I said. "For Kilbington!"
- What the?
Oh goddammit, there's an angry mob outside,
you piece of shit.
- It's fucked up what he did!
- Peasants?
- Yeah?
- I'm handling it.
- You're welcome. - [Josh] Oh, there he is.
- Goddammit. (all laughing)
(Brennan sighs)
- But enough about that.
(buzzer buzzes) - [Brennan] Stop saying
"Enough about that." - Enough about that.
- It was really nice to see you do the heavy lifting
in that scene and Brennan just stand there.
- I mean, this man lifts me up.
(Brennan chortles)
- A very noble amount of points for the both of you.
Brennan.
- Yes. - And Josh.
(Josh grunts)
This one feels a little familiar, too.
"Two grizzled fishermen compare love stories."
- I once walked in and locked eyes
with a lovely miss who saw me and said,
"I must tear off his old sea salty clothes immediately
for he is mine twin flame."
- You dare to speak of love to me?
Your love is nothing more than a limp
and shriveled sardine at the bottom of the can,
left to rot under the fearsome tempest of my love,
for my love is none other than the sea herself
whose foamy waves rise up each night
to stroke my gooch and butt hole.
(Sam and crew laughing)
I wade out into the tide,
my feet shredded by the barnacles outside of my bungalow,
and I stand amidst the foam
under the light of the full moon
and the waves come up and gently lap
the gooch and butt hole and the very back of my scrotum.
I say, "Great ocean, I love thee and thee alone"
and then I bust in the waves. (all laughing)
- Okay, okay.
I was literally just telling you a tale
of how I met my wife. (all laughing)
- Your wife is a two day old breakfast
compared to the buxom beauty that is bunches of waves.
(all laughing)
- Show me.
- Okay, let's wade out there.
Ow, feet hurt, oh, barnacles. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.
It's cold as well.
- My darling wife, the briny deep.
If you're into it, I found this guy on the boardwalk
and I was thinking third?
(Sam giggles and crew laughing)
- It's a tidal wave!
- Oh.
- Oh, get ready. - Here we go.
- I'm ready now.
Oh!
- [Josh And Brennan] Oh!
- Oi yoi yoi.
- Oi yoi yoi yoi.
Oh, I'm being rolled in a rip tide
and I'm being shredded on the ocean floor.
- Wow, what an honor.
- Best I've ever had!
- That's what I'm talking about.
(buzzer buzzes) - [Sam] And cut.
Holy shit. (Josh laughing)
- Are you sure?
- Six boats against the current
borne back ceaselessly into the past-
- "Great Gatsby." - For the both of you.
- [Josh] Okay. (soft upbeat music)
- That brings us to our final mini game.
This is a little mini game
that we like to call "Back to Basics."
Now I've gotten some feedback that folks miss the earlier,
simpler, more competitive episodes of "Make Some Noise."
- Aww.
- And so, players, this is gonna work as follows.
I'm going to give you each a sound effect to do.
I will then award the point to whoever I think
did the sound effect the most accurately.
Make sense?
- Good luck.
- Good fucking luck out there, dude.
(Sam laughs)
- Oh, shit.
- Your first sound is pig.
Josh, let's start with you.
(Josh mimics pig squealing)
Pretty good, Josh.
Zac, let's see what you got.
(Zac mimics pig squealing)
Ooh, that's tough competition, Zac.
- Yeah.
- Brennan, let's see what you got.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- Oh!
- What's up motherfucker?
- Shit!
Shit!
- Woo! - Woo!
- Got 'em!
(Sam sighs)
- That's very good, Brennan. (Brennan laughs)
I am gonna give that point to Zac.
- Wow. Pro cop.
- Next up, beatboxing.
Josh.
♪ A petta bi-de-pa-pa ♪
♪ A poom-da-poom-da-poom pop pop pop ♪
♪ And poom-da-poom-da pop pop ♪
♪ A turdy turd in a turd ♪
♪ A Lucky Charms, a beat-o-box of Lucky Charms ♪
♪ Fabulously delicious ♪ (all laughing)
- What?
Zac.
(Zac mimics Josh rapping)
- He gets the points.
♪ Lucky Charms ♪
- Incredible entry, Zac.
Brennan.
(Brennan beat boxing)
♪ They're great ♪
(all laughing) (Brennan beat boxing)
♪ Follow, follow, follow your nose ♪
(all laughing) (buzzer buzzes)
- Unreal.
That point is gonna go-
- That was fucking sick, dude.
- To Josh. (Brennan gasps)
- [Brennan] Wow.
- Next up, Josh.
A flame thrower.
(Josh mimics flames whooshing)
Very good, Josh. Love the scene setting.
Zac.
(Zac mimics buckles buckling)
- Oh, buckles. Fuck yeah.
(Zac mimics machine leaking)
(Zac mimics flames whooshing)
(all laughing)
(Zac mimics tightening the valve)
- I love, Zac, that you were full on
in the world of your imagination
and then just had a moment of what the fu...
- I was like, I truly have nothing to add to the impression.
- Yeah. - Beyond that-
- Yeah, it was great, though. - I was like, you kinda
covered all the things 'cause I put buckles on.
- Yeah, the buckles. (Sam laughs)
- Actually pretty, the buckles.
- Brennan.
(Brennan mimics buckles clicking)
- Oh, shit.
- A lot of buckles.
(Sam laughs)
(Brennan mimics device unscrewing)
(Josh laughs)
- Oh!
Oh!
- Flame thrower.
- This was just a nice costume.
(all laughing)
- Tons of buckles.
- He got dressed up to protest.
- Brennan winning all the comedy points.
- And none of the actual points.
- I think that goes to Zac.
- [Sam] Last one.
Grant O'Brien.
- [Brennan] Hey! - [Josh] Oh!
- Oh no. - He's arrived.
- Today, I'm making a Mezcal Negroni.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- It's also called the Oaxacan Negroni.
- Ain't that the truth?
- Wow. Pretty good.
Zac.
- Turn around.
Making a Mezcal Negroni.
Ooh, oh. (Josh laughs)
Looks like I, uh...
Has anyone seen the stirrer?
Oh, it was up my sleeve.
- Let me tell you something.
I have a bit of a tremor in my hands
and on "Dirty Laundry,"
there's a lot of closeups of my hands.
- Yes.
- Could it be the drinking? Who's to say?
Anyway, Brennan, what's going on with you?
(Brennan gasps)
- Bill?
Fred?
Paul?
Oh, where's the rest of my barbershop quartet?
(all laughing)
Well, they're all gone.
Time to make a breakfast.
Yogurt cup, big plate of loose cereal.
Stirrer.
Oh, what is that?
A little hummus cup. That can go with breakfast.
And a donut, and a donut, and a donut.
Oop. (all laughing)
- You forgot about my breakfast Negroni.
(all laughing)
Don't know that I appreciate that.
- Grant, which one of these impressions
did you think was the most accurate?
- I mean, I love barbershop.
It's gonna have to go to Brennan
- Grant, would you do us the honor and privilege
of sticking around for round three?
- Well, it's your funeral.
(Sam laughing) (players cheering)
- Hey, fellas.
A little honorary Noise Boy.
(players cheering)
(lively flute music)
And that brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
- Leap- - Brothers!
- Josh. - Yeah.
- Zac. - Yeah.
- Grant. - Yeah.
- Brennan. - Yep.
- "One mafioso is too invested in the business
that's supposed to be a front."
- All right, so that's the plan everybody.
So what do we all think?
- That sounds good to me.
- I think the thing we gotta remember here is this, right,
all of that money is gonna have to go
through the laundromat.
Once we get that heist, we gotta get those bills cleans
and we gotta get 'em clean fast.
- Yeah, that's right, Mario.
- Can I ask a question real quick?
(Sam laughs)
You know, a lot of places are moving over
to a card system rather than coins.
(all laughing)
People can load it up with a credit card that way.
- The banks where we're stealing the money from?
- No, no, no, the laundromats.
All over town.
'Cause who has quarters anymore, huh? Huh?
Who has quarters?
- Tony, if we're not a cash business,
we can't launder the fucking money we're stealing.
- That's the whole point of the money of it all.
- The whole point is- - The money of it all.
- It being a cash business.
- You're looking at this all wrong.
The bank has what, $300,000 in a year
of EBITDA on the laundromat,
we're looking at at least half a million.
- Half a million?
That's kind of a lot. - You said EBITA?
What's that? - EBITA.
- Don't let his biz dev buzzwords...
(Sam laughs)
I mean if we wanted the laundromat to really work,
I would say we should get a space with lower rent.
I mean what's the foot traffic on that street anyway?
We could probably move to a more affordable location.
And actually those little micro laundromats
are really huge in Europe right now.
(Sam laughs)
- Well look, if we mortgage the existing business,
then we can open an LLC to run it
and use the debt to purchase a new location.
- What the fuck?
I was just thinking we'd keep it simple. Extort.
What are the fuck are you talking about LLCs-
- Well, we still can extort,
'cause what we do is we open a second location,
we franchise it, now we're a chain of laundromats.
We open a credit card.
You can spend cash and have laundry bucks maybe
and make an incentive program.
- And how about a logo with an Italian guy
with a big mustache? - And it's made of bubbles!
- Made of bubbles. - Wait, we can do this.
- It's good.
- I have to say, two of you seem really enthusiastic
about this front.
- I think it's three of us kind of.
- I'm kind of on the fence,
but I'm actually leaning towards.
(Sam laughs) (buzzer buzzes)
- Nothing I love more than the funny man in a scene
winning people over to their side.
Let's say 50K points under the table to yous.
Which brings us to Josh. - Huh?
- Zac. - Huh?
- Grant. - Huh?
- Brennan. - Huh?!
- "One of the daddy-daughter talks
at the end of every episode of 'My Three Dads.'"
- Sweetheart. (crew laughing)
- Come on. Tough day.
- Tough day, huh? - Tough day at school.
- Take a sit on down.
- Why don't we all sit down?
- We can sit on down. - Let's all sit down.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- Are you okay?
- Also on my knee too.
- Sit on everyone's lap.
(all laughing)
- Everyone's gonna feel included.
- That's good.
- Everyone's gonna feel included.
(Sam laughs)
- All right.
- Kiddo, we want you to know something,
and I speak for not only myself, but every one of your dads.
- Yeah. - Mm-hm.
- We're so proud of you.
- Thanks, dad.
I just wish that I was better at roller skating
and I really feel like I humiliated myself
in front of the whole school.
- No, no, sweetheart, look, we've all done crazy things.
Like for example, dad number two fell really hard
at Rockefeller Plaza,
broke his ankle in front of 10,000 tourists.
- Remember that? - Yeah.
- Wasn't that funny?
- When the other kids say mean things,
it's not because of anything wrong you did.
They feel scared and insecure themselves.
Just like I felt scared and insecure
when all three of us jumped out of that cloning machine
of the first dad who died.
(all laughing)
- [Josh] Yeah.
- But we made it through, right?
- Yeah, we made it through
and all of our brains work just fine.
- Do you ever miss dad number one?
(Sam laughing)
As in the true dad number one? Not you.
- We're all the true dad number one now, sweetheart.
- What makes a true dad?
Is a true dad the first instance
of that sequence of DNA existing on the planet?
Or is the true dad the dad who shows up?
(Sam and crew laughing)
- That makes sense. - You wanna see a cool trick?
- Hey dad.
- Remember that? - Yeah?
- I think we gotta do dad removal protocol.
- Oh. - Okay.
- Not this again. - Oh, brother.
(Brennan mimics buttons beeping)
- Wait guys, what...
Are we really-
(Josh yells)
(Josh groaning)
(Josh grunting) (all laughing)
- Now I think that's a little bit messier
than a slip on some roller skates.
(Sam laughs)
(cheery music)
(buzzer buzzes)
(all laughing)
- [Sam] Was that a flame thrower at the end there?
- Yeah, flame throwing.
- A studio audience of awws amount of points for you.
That brings us to the last prompt of our game.
- Oh, no. - Fuck.
- [Sam] Can you believe? - The fun we've had.
- Man.
- "Aliens whose only understanding of the human race
is from Dropout content."
- I just want to offer something
'cause I think that we've been tasked
to come up with the invasion plan to conquer this planet.
- Yeah.
- I've only just watched the clips on Instagram.
I haven't- (Sam laughs)
I don't actually have a subscription to...
And people I know watch it on TikTok,
so I don't have like a full deep...
- I don't, either.
- I have one. I have a Dropout subscription.
- You do? Okay, pray tell.
- Would we get in trouble if we just shared that between us?
- I don't know.
I think they're actually kind of cool about it.
(Sam laughs)
- There's not that much content.
You can kind of burn through it
in four, five months and then cancel.
- How are they really going to enforce
password sharing on a program like Dropout anyway?
- I do have a pitch for the invasion plan.
- Okay.
- "Rank Room." - "Rank Room?"
- [Josh] Bring in "Rank Room?"
- Bring "Rank Room" back?
- We bring "Rank Room" back.
- What if we went in and got some of the really old,
problematic stuff that's deep there,
deep, deep in there, and kind of algorithm,
bubble that up.
- And then, you know.
- Some of that "Dirty Laundry" B-roll
that we leave on the cutting room floor.
We? They.
They leave on the cutting room floor.
- They, they.
(Grant gasps)
- Grant O'Brien, you motherfucker.
- He sucks. - Okay, now listen.
I can help, I can help you.
Listen, you can take over Dropout no problem.
Everyone's like fucking 40.
(all laughing)
- Can I get a Paper Plane?
- Yeah. Oh, you like Paper Planes?
It's an equal parts cocktail, which I think is really nice.
- That's what it starts with. - That's right.
It's a modern take on a classic
that I think is beautiful.
(Grant yelling)
- Yes, yes.
- God, it was all yogurt in there.
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzes)
(Sam laughing)
- Good protein. It's good protein.
- Get a nice Chobani. - Yeah!
- That was excellent.
Just $5.99 points per month.
- Wow. That's a pretty good deal.
- That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner tonight...
Zac Oyama. (players cheering)
Zac, you are the recipient of the coveted golden ear.
- Thank you, Sam.
- That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich and that sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(chill music)
(chill music continues)
(chill music fades)