- [Sam] Tonight call down on "The Price is Right"
it's Jacquis Neal.
- So yeah man, how you gonna bring me down to the world to-
Me? (Sam laughing)
They said my name wrong,
they said my name wrong
but I'm on the "Price is Right" biotch.
- [Sam] Chasing the waiter down for the check
it's Matt Apodaca.
- Check please please.
- [Sam] And flagged for
unsportsmanlike like conduct, it's Carl Tart!
(Carl shouting) (door closing)
(Sam laughing)
They're all here to...
- [All] Make! Some! Noise!
(lively jazzy music)
Welcome to "Make Some Noise"
the game so good we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host Sam Reich.
Here's how the show works,
I have here a series of improvisational props
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right players?
- I don't see anything. - It's true.
- I ain't seen nothing. - They will to the best
of their ability fulfill those prompts.
I will award them corresponding points
and the winner will take home the coveted golden ear
which is worth its own weight in golden ears.
Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Si señor. - Yes.
- First a little warmup round, something to whet the palate,
an amuse-bouche if you will.
Something to amuse your respective bouche's.
(Matt laughs) What is the bouche?
- I think it's the space between
(Sam laughs)
the-- - That's a taint.
- Yeah sorry I. - No no no no no,
between the taint and the like not the taint
but like the groove in between.
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- Yeah that's the bouche yeah. - We're off to a flying start.
(Matt laughs)
- Jacquis.
- Samuel.
- Your Peloton instructor
is keeping you motivated with blackmail.
- All right, all right, all right, you don't stop.
Like that time you didn't stop uh huh,
you know what I'm talking about.
You better not slow them knees down
or somebody gonna find out what you put on your knees.
You hear what I'm saying?
You gonna have abs, you gonna have ass,
you gonna have muscles, you gonna have five to 10
if I tell people what you did mother fucker.
(everyone laughing) All right.
You better keep it going,
keep going on it, sweat, sweat,
sweat like everybody sweats when you walk in a room
'cause of what you did, sweat!
(buzzer dinging) Good job.
- I will cut you off there.
- He did something very illegal.
- Yeah something to do with knees.
(everyone laughing)
I mean that's what it would take.
- You guys seen Sam recently?
He got shredded.
(everyone laughing) What happened?
- 125 BPM amount of points for you.
- Oooh.
- Matt. - Sam.
- Deep in the pleasure of a scalp massage.
(Matt moaning)
- Oh yeah just back back back of the head. Yeah.
Stop stop stop stop stop stop.
I don't have any protection.
(everyone laughing)
We just can't do this no.
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there Matt.
- Every time I get a hair cut and they do that to my head
I'm always like, "I gotta tip 100 dollars."
- Yeah it's like do I introduce you to my parents now?
- Is a cop- - Is that
what happens? - Gonna kick the door
down right now, what's happening?
- I do love it, I ask for the hair wash every time.
- I am always a little disappointed when they don't do it.
- A Swedish amount of points for you.
- Okay nice.
- Carl.
- Thanks for having me.
- Just the worst explanation of daylight savings.
(Matt laughing)
- Back in the 1920's Henry Ford
created the eight hour work day with a lunch break.
- Right in the earlier part of the day,
usually about three hours into the day
where you would make a sandwich of some sorts,
only could each sandwiches in Henry Ford's plant.
And the problem with the sandwich meat
(Sam laughing)
was you had to get it from a store
or some sorta market or a place like that.
And then after you would get the sandwich meat
it's time to go back to work at that point.
So what happened was usually at night time
when you get into the bed you usually put on
some sort of like negligee or night clothing
or something like that which will then turn around
and then you wake up in the morning time
and the cows are crowing and the birds are mooing.
And you would take breakfast, the same meat for lunch,
(everyone laughing)
you would then take that for breakfast
'cause you saved it and now it's daylight.
(buzzer dinging) You get what I'm saying.
- I will cut you off there Carl.
This man has no business being a substitute teacher.
(contestants laughing)
Fall back amount of points for you.
(Carl groans) Jacquis.
- Let's do this.
- For those of you who don't know (Sam laughs)
Jacquis wrote prompts for this season
of "Make Some Noise," we're very grateful.
You'll see his brilliant prompts
scattered throughout the season.
Every once in a while there was a prompt where I read it
and I went, "I don't know how that's gonna go."
- Oooh! (Carl laughs)
- And my only option is to feed it right back to him
(everyone laughing) and see what happens.
- Oh shit here we go. - Jacquis.
The speech MLK really wanted to give
(contestants laughing)
instead of "I Have a Dream."
Good luck.
- My fellow Americans, I have a dream,
I have a dream that one day you white mother fuckers
gonna get yours.
Oh I swear to god one day.
(contestants laughing)
Motherfucker we coming.
(Sam laughs)
I have a dream I have a dream,
I have a dream today (Jacquis laughs)
that one day when you walk through the door
and you see black people and brown people,
Jews and gentiles, we all turn around and say,
"Fuck you white motherfuckers!"
(everyone laughing)
You white devil motherfuckers you, I have a dream today!
- He's right, let's storm this place.
(everyone laughing) (buzzer dinging)
(everyone continues laughing) - I will cut you off.
You know something,
as a Jew it's just nice to feel included,
(everyone laughing)
it really is.
- It's probably what he wanted to say.
- A candid amount of points for you.
(contestants laughing)
Matt.
- Yes? - Is it Matthew?
- It is. - Oh.
But only when I'm in trouble.
- Matthew.
(Sam laughing) - Oh god.
- Announcing tonight's performance of "Hamilton"
has been canceled.
- Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us
here on the the great white way as it were.
And tonight I do have some bad news,
I know you're all here to see the smash hit "Hamilton."
(Carl shouts)
Yes thank you, I know but unfortunately.
- Lin Manuel!
- Yeah I know Lin (Matt laughs)
- Patriotism! - Just let me.
If I could just.
- I spent 1,000 dollars
for this! - No I absolutely
I understand that. (Sam laughing)
I understand that everybody is very excited to see the show.
- They ran outta Red Vines at the concession stand.
- That okay as well, this brings me to my next point,
tonight's performance has been canceled.
- You sing it!
(crew laughing)
You do the whole show! - Okay.
How does a bastard orphan son of the whore.
(everyone laughing)
(buzzer dinging)
- The entire rest of this episode
is just you doing your best
possible "Hamilton." ♪ You say the price ♪
♪ Of my love's not the price that you're willing to pay ♪
I mean honestly!
♪ You cry ♪
- Oh my gosh.
- Yeah a box seat amount
of points for you. - Oh! Careful Lincoln.
- Matt.
Which brings us back to Carl.
A survivalist is a little too eager
(Carl and Jacquis laughing)
to drink their own piss.
- Okay so at this point
you've been in the Kalahari for about 20 minutes.
(Sam laughing)
Kalahari desert is one of the driest places on the planet.
You stumbled upon a nice clean puddle of water here,
(Sam laughing)
clearly pristine, flowing,
you always wanna drink flowing water.
But something still ain't right.
(Sam laughing)
We've stumbled upon a spring, a fresh spring,
probably some of the clearest water we've ever seen,
but don't trust it.
(Sam laughs)
Yeah I got a whole crew of people over here
that have tons of water.
(everyone laughing)
We have come to the edge of the Kalahari desert.
There's still tons of convenience stores and
(everyone laughing)
plenty of places, but no, that sweet warm people tea
(everyone laughing)
freshly brewed in your bladder.
(buzzer dinging)
- And I'll cut you off there Carl.
A wild amount of points for you.
(Carl cheering)
(light jazzy music)
That brings us to our first mini game,
the mini game in question Wrong Answers Only.
Dick names!
(Matt laughs)
I'm gonna present you all with a character,
you buzz in and tell me
what that characters nickname is
for their penis.
Make sense?
- Great.
- First up, Sherlock Holmes.
(bell dinging)
Jacquis.
- The pipe.
- That's very good. (Jacquis laughs)
Kicking us off with a bang. (bell dinging)
Carl. - Elementary school.
(everyone laughing)
- I have no follow up questions.
(bell dinging) Matt.
- Are you ready for some more-iarty?
- Oh I see what
you did there Matt. - It's not really a nickname
it's more of like a catchphrase for his dick.
- I mean I'll take a catchphrase.
(bell dinging)
Oh shit Matt.
- Deets and Watson.
- Yeah I was waiting for someone to do it.
(bell dinging) Carl.
- No shit.
(everyone laughing)
- He didn't do that.
(Sam laughs)
- This particular point is going to go to Carl
(contestants laughing)
for that if not the last one.
Next up, Gandalf.
(bell dinging)
Matt.
- The Balrog.
- Balrog is good.
(bell dinging) Matt.
- The eye of Sauron.
(Sam laughs)
- That one makes me giggle.
(bell dinging)
Matt.
- Second breakfast.
(crew laughing)
- [Crew member] Wow.
- Explain that to me, why is everybody laughing?
(everyone laughing)
- It's a "Hobbit" thing.
- This round is evident that me and Carl don't watch.
(Matt and Jacquis laughing)
- Yeah I know, a natural advantage.
Sorry this one is gonna go to Matt.
Next up, Optimus Prime.
Matt.
- Sam Dick Wicky.
(Jacquis laughing)
- Sure, yes Matt.
(bell dinging)
Jacquis.
- Chevy steel.
- Oh!
(bell dinging)
Carl.
(Carl makes a horn sound)
(Matt laughing)
Fantastic.
I do think this one's gonna go to Carl.
(Carl and Sam laughing)
Sometimes it's about minimalism for me.
- Yeah absolutely.
- Next up Yoda.
(bell dinging) Matt.
- Baby baby Yoda.
(Carl laughs)
- It could also just be baby Yoda.
- If baby Yoda is small, baby baby Yoda's even smaller,
the implication being Yoda he's not packing.
- He's not packing.
And that's probably correct.
- Yeah yeah.
(bell dinging) Jacquis.
- Is pen.
(everyone laughing)
- I think I'm gonna give that one to you.
That's Jacquis all the way.
Next up Donald Trump.
(bell dinging)
Jacquis.
- (Donald Trump voice) The greatest penis.
- Oh no. - You've ever seen.
- It's triggering.
- I just call 'em Don.
- I hate it.
(Jacquis laughs)
(bell dinging) Matt.
- (Donald Trump voice) The tallest building
in New York City.
(Sam laughs)
- I love everyone is pulling out their Donald Trump's.
(bell dinging) Carl.
- (Donald Trump voice) I got this one in China.
(everyone laughing)
- Well played all three of you.
Let's say Matt for that one,
(Matt laughs) I think that's fair.
Shaq.
(bell dinging) Jacquis.
- The biggest dick you've ever seen.
(Matt laughs) - I mean let's call it like it is.
(bell dinging) Carl.
- Carl Tart.
(everyone laughing)
- I'll be right back.
(light jazzy music)
That brings us to round two
where our players will now test their talents
in teams of two.
Jacquis. - Yes.
- Matt. - Oh.
A college tour that makes you second-guess coming here.
- You say you're from Milwaukee?
- Yeah yeah. - All right sweet
sweet sweet sweet. - Thank you.
- You're gonna love it up here,
you're gonna love it up here.
We have none of that weather y'all be having in Milwaukee,
y'all got snow and you know cold.
- Okay great.
- Now we got warm weather, earthquakes,
and fires, and shit like that.
That really it has circled around the mountain
that we're in too you know?
Like that mountain was on fire
for at least two weeks last year.
(Sam laughs)
Yeah but you know we got a lotta stuff here on campus
that makes it good for us.
So right here is the dorm room.
- Oh okay. - That you'll be in.
Now I do wanna say this, make sure you buy shoes
because there's needles and stuff all over the ground here.
I don't know how heroin keeps getting on our campus
but it does so you know make sure you bring your shoes.
- Okay. - You excited about college?
- Yeah yeah yeah. - Yeah man you excited
to get some?
- Yeah yep that's yep.
- That's cool, yeah there's no women here.
(Sam laughs)
It's a all boys school.
Now if you look over here,
here is the white man that's gonna give you all your grades.
Look at him, look how crazy he looks right there.
- You look like a B minus to me.
- I think I'm gonna go learn a trade.
(Sam laughs)
(buzzer dinging)
- Based on a true story.
(Matt laughs)
- That's what we all did.
- A scholarship amount of points for the both of you.
Next up, Matt, Carl.
Good cop dad cop.
- Get over here.
(Sam laughs)
- How you doing there champ?
(Sam laughs)
- Listen man this'll all be over
if you just tell us where you were Thursday night.
- I've already told y'all I was at home.
- Yeah have a two piece.
- Chicken? - Yeah.
(everyone laughing)
- Thank you so much.
- Now I just want you to know
we're not mad, we're disappointed.
(Sam laughs)
- You can tell me man,
I'm gonna go easy on ya, I'm gonna get you a light sentence.
- I just don't want you making the same mistakes I did
and frankly I see a lotta myself in you.
- And I come from the same neighborhood that you came from,
so we can talk on a different level.
(Sam laughs)
- You don't want me to call your mother?
- Why would you call my mother, I'm an adult.
- I'm gonna allow you to have one phone call.
- Are you gonna call your mom?
- No I'm not gonna call my mom,
I don't need a phone call,
and my- - Your mom says
you don't call enough and it makes us sick.
- You're not my dad.
(crew laughs)
(Jacquis laughs)
You're just a cop.
- Now go to your room!
- That's a cell.
- That's the jail cell.
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there.
(Sam laughing)
I could probably say this, an ACAB amount of points
for the two of you. - Hell yeah.
- Carl and Jacquis.
Fast and the Furious 67: Too Fast, Slow Down.
- Oh wanna put my seatbelt on.
(Sam sputters)
Now is the air to 74?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- It's a hot summer day.
- Oh and we are- - We got to hurry up
and get over to Lenny's diner for the all star special
before it goes out.
- Now hold on now hold on. - Easy.
- Hold on now! - You got to
think about family.
- I am thinking about family,
I don't wanna leave 'em now okay?
(Sam laughing)
I don't wanna leave my family,
you're going 15 miles an hour, slow down!
- I'm on the highway, I got to go with the flow of traffic.
- You ain't gotta go with the flow of nothin'.
You ain't out here racing Jason Mamoa.
(Matt and Sam laughing)
- May Jason rest in peace.
- I know this how he died going 22 in a 55.
(everyone laughing)
Now oh wait a minute, is that our old arch rival?
- Who? - John Cena.
- John Cena?
- Yeah.
- Did we go to high school with him?
- No I think that was your brother in Fast Nine.
(Sam laughing)
So we technically yes you did go to high school with him,
it was just y'all was familial.
- Slow down!
(Sam and crew laughing)
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there.
Yeah I mean at this rate we're gonna get there.
- We are.
- It's just a matter of time. - 67.
- Let's say a blockbuster amount of points
for the both of you,
which brings us back to Jacquis and Matt.
These "Family Feud" rapid-fire answers are way off.
- Well everybody I'm your man Steve Harvey,
and welcome back to "Family Feud."
It's time to play Fast Money.
Matt here's playing for 20,000 dollars.
(Sam gasping) I'm gonna ask you five questions,
if you can't think of something say, "Pass."
- Okay. - And we'll come back
to you you get 20 seconds.
Are you ready Matt?
- Let's do it, let's do it.
- All right here we go buddy, good luck.
Time won't start until I complete the first question.
On a scale of one to 10
how often do you go to the bathroom?
- The pyramids of ancient Egypt.
(Sam laughing)
- Name a word that rhymes with the word peach.
- Like the space dog cosmonaut.
- Name an athlete that you would wanna be with.
- Yahoo Serious.
- Name a person or place that you love.
- Pass.
(everyone laughing)
- Name something that a parent gives their kid in college.
- "Flubber" starring Robin Williams.
- Name a person or place that you love.
- "Flubber" starring Robin Williams.
(buzzer dinging) - And I'll cut you off there.
This is somebody who had the answers written on his hand
ahead of time.
- Can't mess this up.
- A survey says amount of points for both of you.
Matt and Carl.
Bigfoot Zoom interviews for a job he thought was remote
but turns out is in office.
- Yeah so I'm pretty malleable I can-
(Sam laughs)
- Well actually good news, we're actually taking this job
from remote to back in person,
things have loosened up.
I'm sorry is there something wrong with your camera?
- I beg your pardon?
(Sam laughing)
- You're just like very blurry.
- Me? - Yeah.
- Oh it's interesting, I don't know.
- Could you just go into preferences
and maybe just see if you have
the correct camera selector maybe.
- Okay I'm gonna level with you, I'm driving right now.
(Sam laughing) - [Matt] You're driving.
- I'm actually using my phone, the app,
the Zoom app on my phone.
Hey so you're saying that we'll be
in person for this job? - Yeah we'll be in person.
We found that that well between you and me
nobody wants to work anymore.
- All right, take it easy,
(everyone laughing) take it easy.
- Jesus Christ.
- But we figured that corporate culture
needs to exist in a corporate setting okay?
So we need you to come in and be miserable here
instead of at home.
- I thought that this was online telemarketing.
I have great phone service, I'm with MCI.
(Sam laughing)
- You have a great phone voice
and- - Some people have said
that my voice sounds like I'm in witness protection.
(Sam laughing)
Question, will there be anybody else in the office?
- Yeah I'll be there, all our staff of employees-
- Hey hey buddy I'll be there too,
I'm just listening in the back here.
Yeah I'll be there.
(Sam and crew laughing)
Where'd he go?
(buzzer dinging)
- Incredible last beat.
- Jacquis was the Loch Ness monster.
(everyone laughing)
- I have never disliked you more
(Matt laughs)
than when you said, "Nobody wants to work anymore."
- I don't mean that, I was doing joking.
- 10 vacation days amount of points for the both of you
which brings us to the last prompt of round two.
- Wow.
- Carl and Jacquis.
- Okay.
- Two Oscar presenters feel snubbed
for the award they're presenting.
- Hello everyone.
- Hello.
- We are here to present the nominees
for best directors in a motion picture,
something that is very hard to do
that only a few people can actually do
and I- - Oh we've done it,
we've done it. - We've done it.
(Sam laughs) - We've done it.
- We've done it, we've done it well,
we've done it well. - Done it well.
Directed a few movies.
Not flops in the box office.
- No we made profits.
- Yeah. Overseas money.
- Wow. - Everything.
- They watched our movie in China.
- And I'm not a Twitter person
but if I were to read the tweets
I'm sure they would all be pretty positive
which they were 'cause I read 'em.
(Sam laughing)
- Now this year's nominees have made excellent films
that have brought inspiring stories to life.
- Yeah stories. - I mean yes
you're right. - Stories already written
by other people.
- Right 'cause we read our stories
see we wrote our stories. - We writ our stories.
(Matt laughing)
- We writ our stories. - We writ our stories you know
we writ and directed our stories-
- That's neither here nor there nor up or down,
left or right. - Nope.
- Okay.
- We going straight through to the center
to these nominees.
- Nominees are... I don't know.
- Some white man for management of managements.
- Manage yeah Ed Sheeran.
(Sam and Matt laughing)
I just gotta say something,
the cheese platter in the back, lack luster at best.
- It's not good!
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there.
- I was just standing over there
and I was mad on your behalf.
(Carl and crew laughing)
- Yeah a best sound mixing amount of points
for the both of you.
(light jazzy music)
That brings us to our second mini game,
the mini game in question, If It Could Talk
Florida man edition.
I'm gonna present you with a series of headlines
featuring a man from Florida.
These are real headlines that exist in the real world.
After I do so I'm gonna ask you to enact
those headlines for me. - Okay.
- First up, Florida man desperate
for ride to Hooters calls 911.
- 911 what's your emergency?
- Help!
(Sam laughing)
Help me!
- Are you injured,
are you safe? - Did you hear that?
- My tummy's rumbling
to keep- - My stomach!
- Did you tell him my stomach's rumbling?
- Yeah I'm telling 'em right now.
- Sorry is there two of you there,
you're both okay? - Yes me and my brother.
(Sam laughing)
My name is Daryl, this my brother Daryl.
- You're both named
Daryl okay. - Daryl and Daryl,
we're the Daryl's.
- This is the emergency line, what is your emergency?
- We don't have no car and we got to get over to Hooter's,
it's Monday night you know what that means?
- Wings and titties!
- 25 cent wings and 50 cent titties.
- Sir this is, this is an emergency hotline,
911 is for very serious business.
- Hey who the hell you you think you are?
- Yeah who is you?
- Why don't I come on down to that hospital you work at
and knock your dick in the dirt?
- Okay I don't,
I'm a 911 dispatcher, I don't work at a hospital.
- Where you work at then?
- I'm not telling you where I am.
- Well how close is it to the Hooters?
We need some wings and titties!
- Why don't you take us down there?
You sound like you drive a 1995 Camry station wagon.
- Can you fit us?
- Just give me your address
and I'll pick you guys up. - We're both very large.
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there.
"I will knock your dick in the dirt,"
I believe I heard you say.
(Matt laughing)
Florida man wakes up on Christmas eve
to find intruder sucking his toes. (Matt laughing)
(Jacquis snoring)
(Jacquis shouting)
- What's?
- My man, chill out, chill out.
(Sam laughing) - Hey, hey!
Whatcha doing? - Hey my man.
- Watcha doing down there? - Man shut up.
Man go back to sleep.
- Santa I said we have to get back on the sleigh,
what are you doing?
(everyone laughing) - Shut up Rudolph.
- Whatcha doing man?
Get my toes out your mouth.
- Listen it's Christmas,
I'm giving you a miracle right now.
- No stop licking my big toe.
- My man I'm sorry, I just,
I was walking by and your feet were poking
outta the, into the bed and I was just like,
hold on man let me see what these talking about real quick.
(Jacquis groaning) (crew laughing)
Don't make it weird, you making it weird.
- You know where my feet have been?
- Where? - Well he's seen you
when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.
- Santa is a freak.
(buzzer dinging) - I will cut you off there.
You heard him, your first Santa is a toe guy.
- Toe guy.
- Next up, Florida man trapped in unlocked closet
for two days.
- Hey man if I die in here first-
- No man don't don't don't don't.
- You got permission to eat me.
- Don't say that, we're gonna get outta here okay?
- You got permission to eat me.
- Someone's gonna come along
and they're gonna free us from-
- No man you can eat me. Eat me!
- Hey y'all shut up I'm trying to watch "Judge Judy."
(Sam laughing)
- Well hey man. - It ain't none
of my business what you're doing in there,
but just please keep it down.
♪ We're trapped in this closet ♪
(everyone laughing)
- Turn the door knob sir.
- Turn the door knob.
- We haven't tried
turning the door knob.
- Like we haven't.
Oh damn.
- Looks like you hadn't tried it.
- Hey man let us get back in here.
Hey man, eat me man.
- No I'm not gonna eat you.
- Yeah something tells me
this wasn't about being trapped.
(contestants laughing)
Florida man arrested
after stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper.
- I'm innocent.
- It's hard to hide 66 rolls of paper towel.
- Those are my thighs.
- Those are your thighs?
- Those are your thigh- - Yeah.
- And let me guess, you're very muscular too?
- Yeah I work out only my upper half.
- You look like the Michelin man.
- I eat a lotta sweets and it all goes to my thighs.
- Let me ask you something.
- Ask me anything, I'm an open book.
(Sam laughing)
- What's that stuck to your shoe right there?
It looks like you just came out of the bathroom.
- So I got a little toilet paper stuck to my shoe,
everything else is normal okay?
- Sir you're under arrest.
- I'm not going.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- We keep shooting and it's bouncing off of him.
- We keep shooting it's just bouncing off!
(buzzer dinging)
- Cut!
(Sam laughing)
- Man fuck the cops dude.
- And last but certainly not least of this mini game.
Florida woman arrested for peeing in the store's ice cream.
- You do samples here?
- Yeah you can sample anything we got here.
- Well I was reading the newspaper today
and this is specific what I wanna sample,
I'm a survivalist you see.
(Sam laughing)
- Misses Grylls?
- You caught me, the one and the only.
- Wow good to see you.
- It's an honor to have you here in our store.
- What would you like,
would you like some pralines and cream?
- Maybe some cookies and cream?
- Some butter and cream?
- I think I want some piss and cream.
- Well as a matter of fact we have that.
- Nice big sample size.
- We can't give this stuff away.
(Sam laughing)
- [Jacquis] Nobody wants it.
(Carl moaning)
- Somebody ain't been drinking enough water.
(Sam laughing)
- You're under arrest.
- Y'all the cops?
- Yeah you're under arrest, you're under arrest.
- Come back!
(light music)
- That brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
(Sam laughing)
It's not happening.
Jacquis, Matt, Carl.
- All three of us?
- A heist team realizes they all have the same specialty.
- All right yo all right. - Okay okay.
- So look, we gotta get money for our families man,
our families need money man, they in jail right now.
- I wanna make this abundantly clear, after this I walk.
- I thought I was the guy who walks after.
- Yeah no you're- - I'm the dude who walks
like I'm the one who walks- - No no you gotta stay
being a criminal, both of y'all stay being a criminal.
- No no no no no no no no. - I gotta-
- No man I'll specialize in turning my life around bro.
- I'm the one that walks,
I'm the one that goes and becomes a preacher
and never speaks of this again
until the cops come 20 years later and I go, "You found me."
(Sam laughing) - Wait a minute
I'm the one that walks and goes and be's a preacher
until the cops come 20 years later
and says, "You found me" and then I run and walk again.
- You guys, it's as if you took this directly from me
because I said, "Look I'll do one more job
"but then I'm walking away."
And donning the cloth, becoming a preacher.
(Sam laughing)
And then 20 years down the line
if the cops wanna come get me I won't say no.
- Hey man I'm gonna walk this.
I'm walking this man. - No no I'm gonna walk.
- I'm walking now man.
No man I'm walking. - No.
- No no I'm walking, I'm.
- I'm just gonna do what I'm brought here doing,
cut this wire okay? - No wait man,
I cut the wire bro. - Cut the wire.
(buzzer dinging)
- I'll cut you off there.
I worried for Matt for a moment
but that he was gonna drown.
- So did I.
(contestants laughing)
- An "Ocean's 11", no an "Ocean's 12" for the three of you.
- A good one.
- Next up, three poker players with terrible tells.
(contestants laughing)
- Oh boy y'all going down.
(Sam laughing)
- Fuck!
No shit no.
- Fold.
(Sam laughs)
- Right hold on hold on let me, you folding?
- No or maybe not.
- You know the game, you know the rules.
- Texas hold 'em.
- Okay here's the river.
- Okay all right, what's the river.
(Jacquis laughing)
- God damn it!
My wife's gonna kill me.
- Texas.
(Sam laughing)
- Hey man what's your tell then?
- Wouldn't you like to know.
- Full royal flush.
- Ah three twos.
(Sam laughing)
- Two and seven, why did I bet my house, why?
- Do I win?
- Do you not know how to play?
- No. - And I'll buzz you out there.
(contestants laughing)
It felt a little bit
like even though they were all terrible
they were perfectly matched.
(Jacquis laughing)
Straight up two poker players with terrible tells
and one who has no idea
(contestants laughing)
what poker is, what the hands are.
Trips on the river, amount of points for three of you.
Last prompt of our game.
- Great.
- In lieu of white noise
(Jacquis laughs)
to help you sleep, Caucasian noise.
- Your credit score is 845.
(Matt laughing)
- Ah this Thanksgiving dinner is minimalistic.
(Sam laughs)
- I am the manager.
(everyone laughing)
- Ah these Air Force One's are filthy.
- Ah I'll fail and still move forward.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- Ah I'll have a vodka soda.
- My favorite band is Arcade Fire.
- Ah I'm stressed
(Matt laughs)
I'm gonna have some dark chocolate.
(Sam laughs)
- I love improv comedy.
- And I will cut us off.
(buzzer dinging)
There.
Privileged amount of points for the three of you.
That brings us to the end of our game.
Our winner this eve.
(paper rustling)
Jacquis Neal.
- Oh wow. - Jacquis.
(smooth music)
A much deserved and coveted golden ear.
- Thank you.
I have a dream today.
- Oh boy.
That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game same-r,
I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me.
Goodnight.
(audience clapping)