- [Sam] Tonight, one of those lizards
that can run across water,
it's Zac Oyama!
(upbeat music) (audience applauding)
(all laughing)
Confidently going to the wrong podium,
it's Jacob Wysocki! - Hey, Sam!
Just going to my normal spot.
- [Sam] And, trying to explain to a stranger
that they have the wrong podium
is Vic Michaelis.
What's up, Vic? - Hey, how you doing?
Hey, Zac. - Hi, how are you?
- Hey.
(all laughing)
- [Sam] They're all here to-
- [All] Make Some Noise!
(upbeat playful music)
(title whooshes)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good, we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich.
Here's how the show works.
I have a here a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right, players?
- Yeah. - Yes.
- I don't know.
- When you run like a lizard,
you're using muscles you're not normally using.
(Sam laughing)
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award them corresponding points,
and the winner will go home with the coveted Golden Ear,
which may look fine, but the stench is simply unbearable.
Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Yes. - I'm ready.
- Let's get ready to rumble.
- To make some noise- - Oh, man.
- Wait.
- First up, a little amuse-bouche, if you will.
- I still don't know what an amuse-bouche is.
- It amuses your bouche.
- Now I get it.
(Sam laughing)
- Firstly, Mr. Oyama.
- Hi.
- An election reporter without any touchscreen finesse.
- Okay, guys.
These are early results.
As you know, we're gonna get some of these more,
the bluer areas are gonna come in later,
because they're processing those votes as they happen.
It's larger percentage of people in this,
in this county.
This is DeKalb County, and it's, um,
as you can see, this is absolutely where
we have to pay attention.
Don't be surprised when this,
when this- (all chuckling)
(Zac grunts)
When this area completely flips, okay?
Because it is known to do a lot
of Republican voting at top,
and then a lot more mail-in ballots are gonna,
are gonna come in over here.
(Sam laughing)
- I'll cut you off there, Zac. (buzzer buzzes)
- Really channeling CNN.
It's stressful. - Yeah.
A pinch to zoom amount of points for you.
- Okay.
- Jake. - Hi.
- Happy to be here?
- Let me just say. - Yeah.
- I'm happy to be here.
- An evil laugh turned asthma attack.
- And that's why no one will live!
(laughing maniacally)
(Jacob wheezing)
(Jacob coughing)
Hold on.
(Jacob wheezing)
I've got it. (Zac laughing)
It's got my guy.
(Jacob coughing)
I gotta run a steam shower.
(Sam laughing)
Gotta break up in the mucus
in my bronchial tubes.
Who's got my guy?
(Sam laughing)
- Jake.
I don't know about this guy living,
let alone everybody else.
- Yeah.
- Let's say a 160 over 4.5 amount of points for you.
That's a little asthma inhaler joke
for my fellow asthma sufferers out there.
(Jacob makes whooshing sound)
Vic. - Yeah.
- You always look so worried.
- 'Cause I am!
(all laughing)
- A hi-yah for every Tae Kwon Do belt.
- So you start off with your white belt here,
and as a white belt, you're new.
You don't know anybody, right?
And you're alone in the world.
Hi-yah.
(Sam laughs) (all laughing)
Next, we got our yellow belt.
You know a couple more people, right?
- [Jacob] Yeah, for sure.
- You're getting a little more friendly,
a little more friends, but you're still sort of,
you're in the system.
Hi-yah. - Ooh.
Ooh!
- Next, we're going onto orange belt.
Okay, you've been there three months,
six months, nine months now.
You're feeling a little bit of unbridled confidence.
Maybe you started sparring in classes.
Hi-yah! - Ooh!
- Yeah, we're getting a little more excited.
Then we get to green.
You entered your first tournament, you lost.
(Sam gasps)
You're dejected, you're defeated.
Hi-yah. (Sam laughs)
- Whoa, we're back down. - We're sad again.
- We're back down.
We've regressed. - Then, we get to
light blue.
Light blue, you know, we're in the middle.
(Sam laughing)
Can I help you?
- Well, you're getting close in a way
that I think I might get hi-yahed.
(Sam laughing)
- Light blue, you've been doing this
for a couple years now.
We're mixing it up.
We're getting confident.
So maybe it's not a hi-yah anymore.
It's a ki-yah! (Sam gasps)
You know?
We're not worried about following the rules anymore.
We get to a dark blue belt.
Hi-yah!
More confident in the gut.
Brown.
The mountain belt.
Maybe you're teaching some classes,
the little ninjas is what they call them, the preschoolers.
Hi-yah.
- Ah.
- And you're getting in their face.
Okay, so we get to red belt.
You're getting close to graduating
into that black belt phase.
So maybe you don't care.
Hi-yah. - Oh!
- Then you go to- - Senioritis.
- Deputy belt.
You are so close to black belt,
but you have to be there for a year.
Are you gonna make it?
Are you not?
You gotta take a test.
Am I gonna pass the test?
I don't know. - The suspense.
- But you're gonna give it everything you got.
So that's gonna be a good old-fashioned hi-yah!
Should I do the kick?
- Do it.
- I won't.
Because you're withholding,
because you're not a black belt yet.
- Wow.
Vic.
Yeah, I mean, I took karate,
as you know, and not Tae Kwon Do.
So I'll go with what I know
and say a pinan one amount of points for you.
- So that's one point that I got for that?
(all laughing)
Just to clarify.
- Zachary. - Okay.
- Runner-up in the 2023 air guitar championships.
- Wow.
Second place.
Are we sure? (chuckles)
- Ooh.
Ooh.
What?
What is happening?
- Are you sure? (laughs)
(Sam gasps) - Whoa.
- Oh shit.
(Sam gasps)
(Jacob grunting)
- Oh!
Oh!
- But congrats to Craig.
(all laughing)
- Silver medal amount of points for you, Zac.
Which brings us right to Jake.
- It's about that time.
- Winner of the 2023 air guitar championships.
(Sam laughing)
- What's up, fuckers?
I'm Craig!
(Jacob imitating electric guitar)
(all chuckling)
- [Sam] Shit.
(Jacob making whooshing sounds)
(Sam gasping)
(Jacob makes whooshing sounds)
- Hey God, can I get that pick?
(Sam laughing)
(Jacob vocalizing) (all laughing)
(Jacob imitates electric guitar)
(Sam laughing)
Transform, guitar.
(Jacob makes clacking sounds) (all laughing)
(Jacob imitates guitar note)
Thank you so much.
Don't forget, I'm playing for children's rights.
(all laughing)
- Incredible.
Wait-
- Hey. (Sam laughing)
Good job.
- Yeah, I mean, sorry Zac.
I think we gotta say a gold medal
amount of points for Jake. - I would agree.
- Vic.
A person in line for the buffet
feels the need to make a little comment
about every dish.
- Salad.
(Sam laughs)
(Vic clears throat)
Oh, mac and cheese?
My mom.
Okay. (all laughing)
(Vic humming)
Oh my god, jello.
Who puts jello on buffets anymore?
It's like, there are no kids here.
It's not a kids buffet.
(Vic clears throat)
Peanuts, peanuts, peanuts, peanuts.
(Sam laughing)
Okay.
The big finisher.
A little piece of cake.
Little piece of cake for this little piece of cake, right?
(Sam laughing)
Okay, all right,
well, enjoy the conference.
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzing)
- Wow!
I feel like you sort of turned it around
on them at the end there, Vic,
for suddenly they looked like the assholes.
- Yeah, well they're crazy.
- I mean, it's one thing if they're strangers,
but if they're at the conference with you, then-
- Yeah, we work in the same office.
- Damn. - 12 years.
- Fuck.
- What's my middle name?
- I don't know. - Nobody knows.
- [Sam] Wow.
- Yeah, it's tough.
- Unlimited crab leg amount of points for you.
- Okay. - Whoa.
- Okay.
I'll take it.
- Zac.
Marvel announces that phase five is All Raisin Man.
- What's up, Comic Con?
It's me, Kevin!
Give it up!
(Jacob imitates crowd cheering)
- Woo!
- We have some big projects coming your way.
Thanos was one of the biggest villains
our world has ever seen,
and then we followed it up
with an even bigger villain,
that guy that's kind of, uh-
- Kang! - Kang, yeah.
(Sam laughing)
You got it.
You've heard of Spiderman.
We've heard of the X-Men.
- Woo!
- But what about Raisin Man?
- Who? (Sam laughing)
- Raisin Man?
- Which comic is he in?
- Well, he's not in the comic,
because we don't have to do that if we,
I'm in charge. (Sam laughing)
In 2024, we're kicking things off
with "Appearance of Raisin Man."
"Raisin Man Chronicles" on Disney+.
"Raisin Man Shits on the Avengers"
in a one on one fight.
(Sam laughing)
And, and what's the name of the third one?
- Grape Boy.
- "Grape Boy: Origins of Raisin Man"
coming to theaters (all laughing)
at the end of 2024.
Listen, uh, it's my greatest honor
to bring you these pictures, and uh-
- Hey, Kevin? - Hmm?
- Most everybody cleared out.
(Sam laughing)
(buzzer buzzing)
- I would like to see all of it.
I would. - They crushed ass, man.
- A (snaps fingers) amount of points for you, Zac.
- Whoa.
- Unfortunately, half of your points just disappeared.
Jake.
- Hi.
- A Top Chef contestant shows off
his disastrous dish to the judges.
- Good evening, chefs.
I'm very excite, (clears throat)
I'm very, I'm excited and I'm nervous
to show you my dish.
It is unfortunately my right hand.
(Sam laughing)
It's caramelized in a chicken reduction
where I use a bit of broth,
and I heated the flesh of my hand with that broth
so it sort of just crinkled up like cracklins.
I wanted to make a nice chile verde omelette for you guys,
but as I was cutting the pork,
I had a bit of a whoopsie.
(Sam laughing)
And I thought this is a moment for me to improvise.
So...
Munch on my hand.
Finger each.
Now you're gonna taste something in the back,
and you're gonna go, what's that?
And unfortunately, it is my foot.
(Sam laughing)
(buzzer buzzing)
- Absolutely inspired. (Jacob laughs)
A giant choice, showing the judges the hand
that you severed.
A mise en place amount of points for you.
Last prompt of round one, Vic.
A true crime podcast about the Hamburglar
from the Ronald McDonald suite of characters.
- A silent tube slide.
(Sam laughing)
The pitter-patter of fries leaving the cone into the basket.
A mother shouting at her two children to quiet down.
These are the sounds of the Reseda McDonald's
on 4th and 19th street.
(Sam wheezes)
Hi, my name is Sarah Canofcoke,
and I'm here to bring you- (all laughing)
an interesting mystery,
one that maybe you know well,
and maybe you don't know at all.
The hat.
The shoes.
The misunderstood face.
His name is the Hamburglar.
(all laughing)
It's really hard to say. - Oh, that's good.
- Hamburglar. - Hamburglar.
- Hi.
I'm a Hamburglar.
- My favorite food thief is the Hamburglar.
- My favorite food thief
is the Hamburglar.
(Sam laughing) (crew laughing)
- Yeah.
I think I gotta say, I'm lovin' it.
- And that would equate to, like, three points?
- Let's say two golden arches.
- Okay, two points.
(bright music)
- It's time for our first mini game.
This is a mini game we like to call
Wrong Answers Only:
Noise-canceling Headphones Edition.
How this is gonna work is I'm gonna ask
each of our players to don noise-canceling headphones.
I'll then ask them a series of questions.
They will give me their answers
based on what they think they heard.
My favorite answer takes the point.
Go ahead and put your headphones on.
- Wow.
- Question one.
What would you say is your biggest fear?
- It sounds like I'm in a planetarium concert right now.
(Sam laughing)
Just can't even think thoughts right.
- Jake, what about you?
- Jim Carrey.
(Sam laughs)
- [Sam] Vic, what would you say is your biggest fear?
- Uh, I'm a vegetarian.
(all laughing)
- That point is going to Vic.
- Me?
- Question two.
Does anything unusual turn you on?
- If I run at like a slow run,
I would say a pace of like nine minute 30 seconds
for about four or five miles.
- Jake.
- 14, 19, and 23.
(Sam laughs)
- [Sam] Vic, what about you?
- Monopoly, if I'm looking to have a bad time.
(all laughing)
- That next one is going to Jake.
(typewriter clacking sounds)
Question three, what do you want written on your gravestone?
Zac?
- I'm more of a lake guy than,
I don't really go to the beach.
- Jake, what about you?
What do you want written on your gravestone?
- A big old Harley Davidson.
(imitates motorcycle engine) (all laughing)
- That tracks.
Vic?
Your gravestone.
- My sister, but I don't think we could spend
that much time together. (Sam laughing)
- That's going to be Jake.
- Okay.
- Last question.
If you could go back and meet your 10-year-old self,
what would you say?
- Well, we would go to, like, Gulf Shores area of Alabama,
which is like the panhandle next to Florida.
- Jake.
- I think to overcome fear,
you have to put yourself in front of it,
maybe not like the big version of it,
and so you work up to it.
- And Vic, what about you?
♪ I may never ride in the cavalry ♪
(Sam laughing)
♪ March in the infantry ♪
♪ Shoot the artillery ♪
♪ I may never something, da-da-da ♪
♪ But I'm in the Lord's army ♪
Yes sir!
- I think we're gonna say that one goes to Vic as well.
And that is a mini game.
(bright music)
Welcome back to round two,
where our players will now test their talents
in teams of two.
Zac. - Yes.
- Jake. - Yes.
- Wood shop kids weirdly competitive
about their spoons.
- Hey, did you finish your spoon?
- Let's just say, um,
someone's getting an A in this class.
- How many hours did you put in?
- I was coming in on Saturdays,
two hours a day, just-
- Oh, just one of the weekends?
Just one of the days of the weekend-
- I was in a couple of Saturdays.
- But you weren't in Sundays?
- No, I wasn't in Sundays, 'cause I was-
- Oh, that's interesting.
- I was going to church. - That's interesting.
(all laughing)
- I was going- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God understood that I had an assignment,
so he, like, let me put it on hold or whatever.
(Sam laughing)
- Interesting.
Because God actually thought that
a true carpenter would go to church.
- Hmm.
It's just crazy, I was like woken up in a cold sweat,
and there was just sort of like,
this like ball of wings with eyes on it,
and it was like, I'm what an angel really looks like,
and you're meant to be a spoonman.
- No, I know who that is- (Sam laughing)
Because it actually, they stopped by me.
- Oh, when?
What time?
When?
- Uh, 2:15 on, uh, last Thursday.
- Monday for me.
- Really? - Yeah.
(Sam laughing)
- The Monday before that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What they told me was like,
you are meant to lead carpenters,
and so- - Oh.
- I feel like- - Yeah.
- I don't know how I feel. - Yeah, yeah.
I think mine was a little more specific,
just like a spoonman, but yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. (Sam laughing)
- So yours is a little broad.
Can I see it? - Uh, yeah.
This is what it looks like. - Oh, that's nice.
- As you can see, it has like a nice
linseed oil finish on it. - Uh-huh.
You don't mind if I show you mine?
- Yeah, absolutely.
You can show me your spoon.
What am I gonna do? (Sam laughing)
(Jacob grunting)
(Jacob grunts) (Sam laughing)
- Bow to me. (Sam laughing)
Bow to me.
Who's the spoonman?
- You're the spoonman
- Who's the spoonman? - You're the spoonman.
- [Jacob] Stand.
(buzzer buzzing) - And cut!
- That's a big spoon. (Jacob laughing)
I can't compete.
- Unbelievable.
An extra credit amount of points
for the two of you.
Jake and Vic.
- Yes.
- Adam and Eve broach an open relationship.
- Oh. - Oh.
- Oh, that was a great swim. - Yes.
- Yeah, the river was really nice today.
- Yeah, I mean, it's a beautiful temperature.
- Oh, it's so perfect.
- It's always a beautiful temperature.
- It's always so good. - Yeah.
- So nice. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got, uh, some food.
Got an apple. - Come on.
- No, I was just wondering
if you wanted an apple.
- No, I'm good.
Please.
Please don't eat that.
- Why wouldn't I eat the apple?
- You know the fuckin' deal.
- Snake gave it to me, okay?
Yeah, snake gave me the apple.
- Hanging out with the snake again, huh?
(Sam laughing)
- Are you serious right now?
- It's just odd.
You spend a lot of time with the snake.
- Yeah, well the snake likes my ideas.
- Uh, and I don't? - Don't.
Stop. - I love your ideas.
- I'm not, no you don't.
I said let's go for a walk.
You said, again?
- There's fuckin' three things to do here.
Fuck, go in the river, and go for a walk.
(Sam laughing)
- Okay, well you don't seem to wanna fuck me anymore,
so I'm saying let's go for a walk.
- Whoa.
Look.
You know that I'm, like, trying to heal
some trauma right now,
so I'm shutting off my kundalini, all right?
If you-
- Okay, I'm sorry that I'm made from your rib-
- My kundalini is shut off.
- I'm sorry, okay?
I know you're trying to heal from the trauma.
I apologize.
- But if you need to get fucked,
let's, maybe we can just,
maybe we can broaden this out.
If it's about you getting hammered.
(Sam laughing)
- Great, that would rock, actually.
Thank you. - Yeah.
Let's set some ground rules.
- Well, I think we should maybe put people on our list.
- Okay.
- So who's on your list?
Who's on your list, Adam?
(crunches apple)
- Don't.
- [Vic] No, who's on your list, Adam?
(Sam laughing)
- I've been fucking the snake.
- What?
What are you talking about?
(all laughing)
(buzzer buzzing)
- All right, we'll cut you off there.
There was a piece of that
that was so fucking grounded
before it went off the rails.
God, I mean the acting.
Acting that happens here onstage.
Honestly, I really like that game.
And I think I'm gonna say a biblical amount of points
for the two of you.
And that's gonna be tough to compete with.
- [Vic] Okay.
- Vic. - Yes.
- And Zac.
- Okay.
- Professional models couples posing tutorial.
- When you're presenting yourself as a couple,
and selling things that involve two people
rather than one, there's a bunch of go-to moves.
- Number one, just check in with each other,
look in each others' eyes.
And then you're just gonna wanna sort of slouch,
is sort of the first thing.
So you're sort of in,
and then you melt together like an ice cream cone, right?
(Sam laughs)
And there's multiple ways to melt.
- Yeah, yeah. - So as you see,
sort of like the back melt.
You can sort of go into the front melt, right?
(Sam laughing)
- Selling watches.
Selling hats.
Selling earrings.
- I think why this is so important
is 'cause you can use this across the board.
- Any ad campaign at all.
- Yeah.
- One- - Two, three.
- And I will- (buzzer buzzing)
cut you off there.
The two of you.
I mean, if you got it, flaunt it
amount of points for the both of you.
Zac and Jake.
This Airbnb owner sure is hanging out for a while.
- Yeah man, so, uh, you know.
Coffee. - Nice.
- There's a couple snacks in the freezer.
Go for it.
- Oh, thank you. - Go for it.
Hey treat this place- - Yeah.
- Like it's your place. - I appreciate it.
So I'm just here for the weekend,
and I think it'll be pretty easy-breezy.
- Yeah, where do you want me to put your bags?
- I got it, I think. - Nah, nah.
- I just, um, right here.
Yeah, so I'm, uh,
you know, I'm a little jet lagged,
so I think I'm probably just gonna take a little rest.
- Okay, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead and get settled in.
Do you want me to tuck you in?
(Sam laughing)
- I'm okay.
- I'm just gonna wash up,
and you go ahead and-
- You're washing up? - I'm just gonna wash up.
- I thought I had it from 12? - Oh yeah, check-in's 12.
- Yeah. - Check-in's 12.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And just, to be clear,
there's that little shack over there.
I don't know if that's part of this.
- Is there a shack over there?
Oh yeah, that is a shack.
That's odd.
Crazy.
- You don't know that there's-
- You get ready for bed.
I'll wash up.
- Are you gonna stay in that little shack over there?
- No, I'm just gonna wash up,
and I'm gonna get out of your hair.
And you won't hear from me,
you won't see from me,
unless you need me.
In that case, you can hit this button
and it'll page a buzzer in the shack.
(Sam laughing) I mean-
- What are you doing?
Look, I'm sorry if I'm coming off-
- I thought you were tired, man.
You're asking a lot of questions
for a tired guy.
- Who's in the shack?
- Sometimes you shouldn't ask questions
you already know the answer to.
(Sam laughing) (buzzer buzzes)
- I will cut you off there.
I really like the guilt trip
at the end of that.
The door code is 1357 amount of points
for the both of you.
- 1357. - So many points.
- 1357.
- Jake and Vic.
- Yes. - Hi.
- Politely asking the deli guy,
Mr. Mayonnaise, for no mayo.
- Hey, welcome to the deli, sweetheart.
What can I make for you, okay?
- I'm sorry, I work right around the corner.
I keep seeing this store.
- Oh, you never been here?
- No, no.
But-
- This is Mr. Mayonnaise's Mansion.
The best sandwiches this side of where we are.
- Okay. (all laughing)
Well, I work, um, I work at corporate
right next door.
Uh, not corporate here.
- Oh, the corporate?
- Yeah, Adidas corporate.
- Big bucks over here! (Sam laughing)
Okay.
I'm sure you'll be getting extra meat, Mrs. Corporate.
- Okay. (laughing)
Uh yeah, yeah actually.
I'll do the double ham.
Can I sub the lettuce for spinach?
- Oh, of course.
Of course, yes.
- Great. (Sam laughing)
And then I think I'm gonna do, uh, mustard, for sure.
- Right, nice.
Okay.
- And I'll do the, um,
the, uh, the vinegar and the um, olive oil.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I think- - Okay.
- That's- - Are you sure?
- That's good, sauce.
Sauce-wise, for me. - Are you sure?
That's it?
(Sam laughing)
- I'll get the mayo, and- - All right, that's a girl!
There's my girl!
Come on! - Yeah, and, you know what?
Actually, take the spinach off, that's fine.
- Great, nice.
- And you can just do the lettuce.
And then the mayo off. - Okay.
- And I think that's good.
- That last part? - Yup.
Is that a gun?
(all laughing)
- Hey, listen.
Hey, no it's locked. - It's locked.
(all laughing)
- That's not gonna work in here.
- There's no reception.
(buzzer buzzing)
- I'm gonna cut this off there.
What an incredible choice.
(all laughing)
- You trying to be sneaky,
trying to get it in, get it out?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Not on Mr. Mayo's watch.
- Mr. Mayonnaise is packing.
Yeah, egg and cheese with a supy amount of points
for the both of you.
Vic. - Yes.
- And Zac. - Okay.
- Very last prompt. - Okay.
- Of round two.
And a bit of a sequel prompt.
Maybe it was a bad idea
to break up on a rollercoaster.
(Vic makes hissing sound) - Whoa, okay.
- Three, two, one.
Go!
(both grunting)
- Who's Sandra? - What?
- Who's Sandra?
- Uh, I just, it's a friend!
- Oh, really?
What kind of friend?
- She's just someone who like,
I just think is cool!
- Oh yeah?
Oh yeah?
Well you know who I think is cool?
My Pilates instructor! - Okay.
- And you don't see me texting
my Pilates instructor on Words for Friends!
- I mean, what are we even doing right now, right?
This doesn't feel healthy to me.
- Oh, this doesn't feel healthy to you?
(Jacob screeching) Whoa!
(Vic screams)
(Zac screams)
(both screaming)
Do you even wanna be here?
- We came with your family.
I enjoy it here.
- That's not what I asked!
I asked, do you wanna be here?
- No, okay?
I don't want to be here!
- Then fucking leave!
- Oh no, why is it doing this?
- Oh no!
(both groaning)
- Seems like our engines have failed.
What are we gonna do?
- I'm just thinking maybe we need to take
a little bit of a break.
- We fueled up.
Three, two, one!
Go!
(both scream)
- And cut! (buzzer buzzing)
Love that, the two of you,
can always count on you to give me
a healthy amount of backstory.
- What was the first fight?
I was just-
- Massage chairs.
- Oh yes. - Ah, yes.
- Yeah, a double loop amount of points
for the both of you.
- Loop-de-loop.
(bright music)
- That brings us to our second mini game.
The mini game in question, Alternate Universe.
The category is Santa.
How this is gonna work, players.
I am gonna start you off
with three alternate universe Santas to perform,
and then after I do, you are gonna buzz in
and pitch me on your own.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- Zac. - Mm-hmm.
- Three elves in a trench coat Santa.
- Ho, ho, ho! (all laughing)
Happy Christmas to everyone!
As you know, we've been absolute,
I've been absolutely swamped up here.
The elves didn't unionize and crush Santa-
(all laughing)
or anything like that.
- Power to the people!
Next up, Jake.
Q-Anon Santa.
- Ho, ho, ho!
Hello, children.
You're fuckin' being lied to.
(all laughing)
Okay?
Every single one of you beautiful minds
are being wrought by the liberal agenda!
- And that'll do it, Jake.
Last but not least, Vic.
Ate too may edibles, paranoid and keeping it together Santa.
(all laughing)
- Don't know about that one, man.
(bell dings) (Vic sighing)
- Ho.
(all laughing)
Keep it together.
Ho, ho, ho, um.
(clears throat) Presents.
Um, okay.
(clears throat) (bell dings)
(dinging bell) (Sam laughing)
Is there any cookies?
- And I'll cut you off
(buzzer buzzing) there, Vic.
Now players, if you would be so kind
as to pitch me any Santa.
(bell dings)
- Location confirmed.
Sending supplies.
Again, that is just the buzzer.
- Oh my god, Jake.
- WWE Santa?
- Love it.
- All right brother, I'm gonna come in there,
and I'm gonna take your presents!
I'm coming down your chimney,
and I'm gonna create some havoc in the home, brother!
- That rattled my fuckin' ribcage.
I liked it.
(bell dings)
Vic.
- Waiting for deadbeat dad Santa?
- Love it.
- Yeah, don't worry.
I'll be back in the workshop in a second.
My dad's taking me fishing this weekend,
and then I will go ahead,
and will be back in the workshop with the elves
on Monday sharp, but he's coming,
and it's gonna be pretty exciting.
I'll bring back fish for everybody.
(clears throat)
- (laughing) Oh no!
- Sun. - No, it's fine.
- Moon. - Huh?
Oh, okay. - Sun.
- Oh, sorry. - Moon.
- Thought I heard my dad.
(Sam laughing)
- Sun, moon.
- Okay, it's Monday.
- I will cut you off there, Vic.
(buzzer buzzing)
- Heart wrenching. - So sad.
(bell dings) Zac.
- Santa that's just, um, actually a hog that got loose.
(all laughing)
Ho, ho-
(imitates hog squealing)
- Oh gosh, gosh!
(imitates hog squealing)
My daughter just wants to sit on your lap!
(slaps legs)
We just wanna sit on your, okay.
Tell him what you want. (Zac squealing)
- I don't want to- - Tell him what you want.
- This is the only way to get presents?
- Yes, tell him what you want.
And we're gonna take the picture,
and it's good memories.
(Zac squealing)
- I want joy for my family for Christmas,
and it's been a tough year-
(Zac imitates hog squealing)
(Jacob screams)
- And I will cut you off there, Zac.
(buzzer buzzes)
That is a remarkably good hog impression.
- I know. (Sam laughing)
(bell dings)
- Location confirmed.
Sending supplies.
- Jake.
- European Santa, but he doesn't want
anybody to know that he's European.
He wants to seem American.
- I love it.
- Ho, ho, ho, man!
So many cool hot dogs tonight!
(Sam laughing)
Hey!
- It's good to have you around, Santa.
- Oh, I got you all presents!
- Oh.
- Yeah, you've been a good man!
A good man, my boy!
- Thank you.
- And here you go.
It's stroopwafel!
Totally old school!
So retrospective!
(Sam laughing)
- I will cut you off there! (buzzer buzzing)
The accent that's the non-accent.
(bell dings) Vic.
- Santa who's trying to tell someone
they're at the wrong podium.
- Love that.
Go for it.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Uh, can I tell you what I want-
- No, it's fine. - Yeah.
(all laughing)
(bell dings)
Location confirmed.
Sending supplies.
- Jake. (laughing)
- Um, three small Santas.
- Oh. - Great.
(Zac snickering)
- All right, so I'm gonna diddly up
the Western hemisphere.
And then, you think you can you can handle
the Southern hemisphere, and you can-
- [Vic] Wow, giving me the Southern hemisphere.
- Well, it's a big important job.
- [Vic] It is a big important job,
but I'm just saying, we all know why
you wanna go to the Northern hemisphere.
- Why?
Tell me why?
- Because it's closer to your house.
- You want to do the Northern?
If you want to do the Northern-
- [Vic] Yeah, I want to do the Northern.
- No, I was offering,
I was offering to this- - No.
Why would you offer it to me
if you don't wanna do it?
- Do you want to it? - Yes, I want to do it.
- No, not you-
- [Vic] Well then why don't I get to choose?
- Why don't you just let the person
who wants to do the Northern do it?
- Well, I wanna do it,
so that means that I will do it!
Right?
- Rock paper scissors.
Rock paper scissors.
- Okay.
Ready? - Ready?
- [Both] Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
(all laughing)
- Uh, that was a tie. - Okay, one more time.
One more time.
- [All] Rock, paper, scissors.
Shoot. (buzzer buzzing)
- And I'll cut you off there.
(bright music)
That brings us to round three,
where our players will now hold hands and jump
into the abyss together.
- Bing. - Bing!
- Bing!
- Zac. - Yeah.
- Jake.
Vic. - Me.
- The part of the Oscars where they show a clip
from each movie, and then cut to that actor.
- Cinema.
It makes us think.
It makes us feel, it makes us love.
This year, we have 12 amazing actors to-
(Sam laughing)
- Well.
- First up, Jon Hamm in "The Syllable."
(Vic clapping)
- Speak!
Stop stuttering, and speak!
(slapping hand)
Say a word.
- No.
- Wow.
(all laughing)
Next, we have Jon Hamm in "Ride Or Die."
- Get on the bike!
Get on the bike and ride!
(slaps hand)
(all laughing)
- No!
- Incredible. (clapping hands)
Incredible. (all laughing)
Next we have Jon Hamm in "An Alien Among Us:
"A Philadelphia Story."
- Be a human!
Be a human amongst us!
(slaps hand) (Zac gibbering)
(Zac vocalizes)
- No.
- Wow.
(all laughing) (Vic clapping)
Now that is just something special.
Next, we have Jon Hamm
in "Pretty Little Liars."
- Get hot and lie! (Sam laughing)
Get hot, attractive, and lie!
- No.
(slaps hand)
(all laughing) (Zac whimpers)
(Sam laughing)
- And I'll cut you off there. (buzzer buzzing)
Wow.
Jon Hamm getting some real action this year.
- He got slapped- - He deserved it.
- Like, 5000 times.
- And I'd like to thank the Academy amount of points.
Next up, one of those very disturbing
children's YouTube videos.
- Hey, I'm the Mucinex guy!
(all laughing)
Are you kids looking to have some fun?
- Me and my brother?
- Yeah!
- I'm also Batman.
(Sam laughing)
- Who do we have here?
- Julie. - Julie?
- Yeah.
- Do you guys like building sand castles?
- [Vic] Hmm.
- I love it.
- Well come now with me
to my sand castle!
- Okay.
- Now you're just gonna take the sand,
and you're just gonna build it up.
- Build it up?
- Build it up. - Build it up?
Oh no, I dropped my pen!
You keep building the sand castle.
Oops! - Thanks, Julie.
(Sam laughing)
- Oops! - Oops!
- I'm so clumsy!
Oops! - Oops!
Batman! - Yes?
- Why did you choose to have nipples on your suit?
- Oh, I just like the feel of them.
- Nice. - Thank you.
- Tell me a little bit about your sand castle.
- My sand castle is a tower.
- My sand castle's also a tower.
- My sand castle did 9/11.
(Sam laughing) (buzzer buzzing)
- I'm- - Julie!
(Sam laughing)
- I will cut you off there.
That actually was a pretty faithful parody.
So bravo.
A 148 million views amount of points for the both of you.
- Oh. - Whoa.
- Last prompt of our game.
Can you believe it?
- Dang. - Dang it.
- Dang.
- Dang it!
- An alternate universe where the only difference
is that the word for money is poopoopeepee.
- All right, everybody.
Welcome to the auction.
We're gonna go ahead and auction off
this nice, beautiful cow.
Beautiful cow, beautiful cow.
Beautiful cow, and we're gonna go ahead
and start the bidding at 700 poopoopeepee.
(Sam laughing)
700 poopoopeepee.
That's 800 poopoopeepee.
800 poopoopeepee.
Can I get 850?
850, 850 poopoopeepee?
Poopoopeepee 850?
850, we got 900.
Going once, going,
900, going over here.
That's 800.
800 extra.
900, 800, that's 16,000. (Sam laughing)
16,000 poopoopeepee.
This is a beautiful cow.
There's a beautiful cow.
20,000 poopoopeepee.
Poopoopeepee.
Hey, we gotta get it to 2100.
Who's got it?
- One million.
- One million poopoopeepee!
Do I got one five?
One five, one five?
He's on the phone.
He's gonna be on the phone, he's gonna go,
he's got enough poopoopeepee
to raise his hand again!
We got one two, one two.
Can I get a one two three?
What about four, what about a four poopoopeepee?
We got 105.
105, 105, 105.
We got no poopoopeepee.
She got no peepee, she got no peepee,
she got no poopoo.
She got the peepee.
107, 107, 107.
We're gonna go over to two million poopoopeepee,
he's on the phone, he's gonna check up on his,
can I get a two million?
We're right here, one nine, one nine,
one nine going once!
Twice!
Sold for 1.7 poopoopeepee!
The beautiful cow is yours!
(buzzer buzzing)
- Wow, Jake!
I believe that's what we call heavy lifting!
Jesus Christ!
- The paddles were pretty, you know,
they were weighted. - Impactful.
They were pretty impactful.
- Oh my god.
Way to fall on that sword.
- Blacked out.
Was it funny?
- Sometimes you just throw yourself
into that tunnel, and you're like, I'm here
until the end of it, wherever it goes.
A poopoopeepee amount of points.
That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner this evening...
Jacob Wysocki.
- Wow. - Yeah.
(jazzy music) (audience applauding)
- You are the recipient
of the coveted Golden Ear,
and join the two winners club.
- Wow.
- You can hear it from both sides.
- Yeah, now you got two ears.
- That does it for us here
at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me.
Goodnight.
(audience applauding) (soft jazzy music)
(music fades)