- [Sam] Tonight, a wobbly newborn giraffe, it's Josh Ruben!
(audience applauding) (lively music)
When your favorite song comes on the jukebox,
it's Anna Garcia!
- Oh, what now?
Oh, ooh! I love this one.
Groovy, baby.
- Ouch. (Sam laughing)
- Oh, ha-cha-cha.
- [Sam] And bad news rolling into the saloon,
it's Izzy Roland!
- Well, darn tootin'! (door slams)
Darn tootin'! Darn tootin'!
Darn tootin'!
- [Sam] They're all here to...
- [All] Make some noise!
(exuberant music)
(exuberant music continues)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich. Here's how the show works.
I have here a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before,
isn't that right, players?
- Have-a never.
- I've-a never seen the prompts.
- I've never seen the prompts. - I've never seen the prompts.
- [Sam] I've-a never-
- I have-a never seen 'em before.
- I don't know anything.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award them corresponding points,
and the winner will go home with the coveted Golden Ear,
which if you already have one might put you over the top
as some kind of ear person.
- I have someone else's.
- Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Yeah, I'm going for that EarGOT, baby.
- Hey, could you maybe stop it?
- Don't touch me. (Izzy and Sam laughing)
- We are all badly behaved this morning.
- [Izzy] I don't know where- - We're being bad!
- Josh. - Huh.
- A flock of birds flies into a plane engine.
- No worries. (mimics jet engine howling)
(Josh mimics birds chirping)
(Josh mimics impacts crashing)
Oh my God!
(Josh mimics alarm blaring) - Brace, brace!
(Josh mimics birds chirping and crashing)
(Josh mimics impacts pounding distantly)
(Sam laughing)
(Anna laughing)
(Josh mimics impacts pounding)
(Josh chirps) (crew members laughing)
- Was there a last little bird
that died at the very end there?
- Yeah, it was like, I just wanted to send
the one that's left is like. (peeps)
- That, I lived, yeah. - [Josh] Yeah.
- That had to watch its entire family be-
- The subtitle's just like,
"I'm gonna get revenge on Spirit," you know what I mean?
(Sam laughing)
Yeah, the John Wick of birds.
- Unbelievable. - Tragedy.
- Really sad.
- A 737 amount of points for you, Joshua,
kicking us off with- (hands slap)
- Don't touch me. - With a bang.
Anna. - I'm scared!
(Sam laughs)
- A barista lists off the 11 kinds of milk you can get.
- So, you said that you don't want almond milk.
That's totally fine.
We can get you any variety of nut which means macadamia,
pistachio, almond, oat, which is not nut,
cashew, any sort of legume.
We can also do pea pod, pea protein, piss
(Sam sputter laughs) piss freak.
We can also get you sort of like jet fuel,
which is not good for you,
but people are loving it these days as well as,
we can put coffee as a type of milk into your coffee,
but every add-on is $1,000. (Sam and cast laughing)
(buzzer blares)
- I love that, Anna! I'll take the piss.
- Yeah! (laughs and claps)
- A venti amount of points for you.
- I've gotten that before.
- Izzy. (Josh gasps)
This dodgeball coach is a little too hard on the kids.
(Izzy claps fist) (Josh laughs)
- Brandy, Alicia, Chandler, (draws deep breath)
Christina, (sighs deeply) Lyla, Globrielle.
(cast and Sam laughing)
Do you know what a ball is? (Sam laughing)
Do you know what you're supposed to be avoiding?
Or do you like a big, red ball slamming into your face?
'Cause it seems like that's what you like.
Did you sign up for dodgeball
to get hit in the face over and over again with balls?
Embarrass your parents, embarrass me, is that why?
Globrielle, Alicia, what the fuck is going on out there?
Let me tell you, I've never had to run onto the court before
to save a game, and I don't wanna do it again, but I will
'cause this is fucked up!
Globrielle! (buzzer blares)
- I will... (laughs) (Josh laughing)
- [Izzy] Again!
- I will cut you off with Globrielle.
- Leave her alone!
- I loved how Anna's empathy turned on throughout that
and was like, nodding as if she was one of the kids.
- Sorry, I'm an empath, so that does happen.
- Let's say elbows, foreheads,
shins amount of points for you.
Which brings us all the way back to Josh!
- Josh! - Uh...
- Winning an embarrassing amount of tickets at an arcade.
(Josh chuckles happily)
(Anna mimics prize bell ringing)
(Josh chuckles joyously)
- (laughs) Yo!
Yo! (Anna mimics bell ringing)
Yo, ha-ha!
- Everybody, spotlight on Jeremy,
who has beat the high score on Skee-Ball!
- Wow! (claps) - Good for you!
- I, uh, I...
(Josh mimics bird peeping)
Yeah, yo, I'm, I'm...
Yo, get me down, yo!
Yeah! (Sam laughing)
I didn't even... (mimics wind howling)
Yeah!
I'm in the sky, yo!
Yo, take 'em, take 'em!
Yeah, wha...
(cast laughing)
(Sam and cast laughing)
(Josh beeping)
(inhales sharply) Welcome to heaven.
(cast laughing)
- And that, kids, is what happens
when you play too much Skee-Ball.
Holy shit!
- Going for that EarGOT, dog.
- [Sam] Let's say, um- (Josh mimics fart)
I believe it's- (Josh gasps)
- (laughs) Dude, you're so gross.
- I believe it's 100 points in the corner.
- Sure.
- Anna. - (laughs) Don't look at me!
(Sam laughing) Just skip me!
- Sorry, sorry. I'll deliver it over here.
- Yeah, don't look at me.
- Anna, a "Let's make my kids' lunch" TikTok
that makes you feel bad about yourself.
- Another Wednesday morning for me
and my two gorgeous sons, Stephan and Ruben.
So, I started by carefully slicing a hard-boiled egg
into 18 heart-shaped pieces. (Sam laughing)
I then put it in a special Glad container
I ordered on Amazon.
You can use my link in the bio.
And I put all those careful heart-shaped pieces in there
and sealed up the lid.
After that, I bought 18 Fruit by the Foots
and cut them up into pieces
that spelled out Stephan and Ruben's name.
(Sam and crew laughing)
I then smooshed them together carefully
in a piece of tinfoil that I origamied into a swan
right in their lunchbox. (Sam laughing)
And then I sealed it off with some of my placenta juice
which they actually really love and they love me.
All that and then a turkey sandwich on rye
(buzzer blares) for my boys.
- Anna, I don't love anything in the world
as much as these folks love their children.
- (laughs) Ruben and Stephan. - Let's say 12 points,
each of them absolutely identical to each other.
- Mm, I had to delete TikTok because someone filmed,
like, their plane crashing.
(Sam and Josh laughing)
- TikTok is pretty remarkable in the way it's like,
oh, serotonin release, serotonin release, serotonin release,
deep trauma! - This is how my baby died!
- No, it's, "This is how my baby died."
(Sam laughing)
- Part one. - Incredible.
- Go to the next video to see why.
- Izzy, this is a sequel prompt, if you will.
- Ooh!
- A track announcer who's clearly attracted
to one of the horses.
- Maybelle is out, going fast, chasing the rabbit.
We've got Jimmy Cracks following right behind.
We've got...
No!
(Anna laughing)
Oh, he said he wasn't gonna be here.
(Sam cackles)
Whew, we've got Mr. Dalilah going so fast.
(Izzy breathes heavily) (Josh laughing)
Too fast. (Sam laughing)
Get the rabbit. Oh!
Maybelle out now leading. (breathes deeply)
Jimmy Cracks, Mr. Dalilah, big, big, big boy.
(Sam laughing) (Josh chuckles)
Looking erect.
(Sam sputter laughs)
Looking strong. (Josh laughing)
Protruding in front,
all the way out!
Grabs the rabbit!
Wait, that's dogs! Fucking shit!
(buzzer blares) (Sam laughing)
- I'll cut you off there, Izzy. I'm buying it!
Whew, whew! - Whew, whew, whew.
- Oh! I hear what you're saying about the rabbit.
- [Izzy] I definitely- - I don't think horses eat
or are compelled by rabbits.
- We don't know. None of us have ever been a horse.
- And none of us actually- - [Sam] We don't know.
- Have ever been a horse.
- Have you thought about that, Sam?
- We shouldn't speak for the horses, you know what I mean?
- Horses, it's appropriative.
- Apparently, horses can speak for themselves
'cause he didn't tell you he was gonna be there today?
- No. (Sam and Anna laughing)
- Let's say a record time amount of points for you.
- Yeah.
- Joshua. - Huh?
- The Terminator's batteries are dying.
- [Josh] Oh, great. - [Anna] Oh.
- I'm coming through the door here, all right?
- Oh! - Exploring the space.
(Josh vocalizes "Terminator" theme)
- I need your shoes, your clothes, and your motorcycle.
I literally need them now.
Uh-oh, it's T-1000. (cast laughing)
Here comes T-1000.
(mimics gun cocking) Fuck.
Uh-oh, here comes T-1000. (cast laughing)
(chuckles) Oh, reserve power.
Uh-oh, here comes T-1000.
I'm going to blow him a little...
A little right there. (Sam laughing)
He, he, John Connor, John Connor, John Connor.
(Josh mimics power fading) (cast laughing)
♪ John Connor, John Connor ♪ (buzzer blares)
♪ John Connor, John Connor, John Connor ♪
♪ John Connor, John Connor ♪ (Josh mimics power dropping)
- I mean, Josh, the nuance I love.
- That really got me. It was delightful.
- I love, we were sort of going down,
and then we were back up with reserve power.
- Yeah, we were going down. - Reserve power.
- Yeah, and then it was kinda like,
a credit song, why would you?
But you know what? I'm 39. (Izzy laughing)
I'm 39. It's a Monday.
- He said, "Uh-oh." - I know.
(cast laughing)
- I got a giggle fit. - (laughs) I got her.
- T-100 amount of points for you, Josh. Well done.
♪ John Connor, John Connor ♪
♪ Uh-Oh ♪ (cast laughing)
- Okay, someone on the internet, I know you can do this.
Remix this- - [Izzy] Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Foreshadowing a future prompt.
- What? - Anna.
An indecisive person orders a dozen donuts.
- Okay, let's see. (hums)
They all look really good. (cast and crew laughing)
They all look really good. Um...
So you said that one's ube? Oh, I've had ube before.
Uh, and that's like, a little maple on top of that one?
Yes, bacon, okay. Is it filled with anything?
It is. What is it?
Jam, okay, cool. Um... (Sam laughing)
There's a cruller and then there's a regular donut.
Um, do they taste, like, if I were to get a regular donut,
would I need to get the cruller?
No, I'm fine. That's...
I'm, there's a line, there's a line! Um, uh...
There's a long line here! Um, I'm also gonna get...
- I just want one glazed. - Oh God!
- Is there anyone else? - Hey, shush!
I can't think when you're talking!
Um, so I'm gonna get... (Sam laughing)
Definitely, um, oh, let's start with a regular glazed.
12 of those. No, no!
(Sam laughing) Um, I don't know.
I don't know, I'm gonna get... (barfs)
- I will cut you off there, Anna. Holy shit!
- Based on me!
- She didn't choose one! - Whew.
- A Boston cream point for you.
- Just one Boston cream point.
- Oh, but it's a big one. - So a lot in many ways.
(hands clap) Oh...
(cast laughing)
(snaps fingers) Just met five seconds,
literally five minutes ago.
What mushie did we do, you know what I mean?
Because like, what stem? - Don't call it mushie, dude.
That's disgusting.
- Yo, what mushie did we all stem, dog?
It's 10:05 Pacific AM-style, dog.
- Oh God. Whew, Izzy, you ready?
- No. - [Sam] No.
♪ Go, go Izzy ♪
(Anna claps) ♪ Go, go, go, Izzy ♪
- Your therapist: An aunt drunk on white wine at a wedding.
- Now...
And I can, I can read people. (Sam and crew laughing)
If you don't leave him,
(Sam gasps) you're not gonna get anything,
do you understand?
You're undiagnosed bipolar II.
(Sam gasps) Yeah.
And why you're gonna break up is because of that.
(Sam sputter laughs)
And I went to (hiccups) Emerson College.
(Sam laughing)
And then Cal State.
And I was, um, I was on "Love Is Blind" so...
(Josh laughing)
So I'm pretty intuitive about these things.
And I hate to be right.
I hate being right, but I love this wedding.
(Sam and crew laughing)
Did you try the pig in blanket?
(buzzer blares) - I will cut you off there!
- One blanket, one blanket. - It's too real.
- [Sam] Izzy! - Too many therapists
going on reality shows,
I have to say. - Really?
- A lot of therapists on "Survivor" don't do well.
- I am going to say a... (Josh gasps excitedly)
2019 Chablis amount of points for you, Izzy.
- Ooh!
(cheerful music)
- That brings us to our first minigame!
The minigame in question, Translator.
How this is gonna work is,
Josh is going to take center podium switching with Anna.
Josh... (laughs)
Josh will be our foreign politician.
Anna and Izzy will be his translators
taking turns translating what comes out of his mouth.
- Awesome.
- The topic in question is a new flag.
And if you look in your drawer there, Josh,
you will find the flag in question.
(Josh slams drawer) And away we go.
- Uh... (speaking in foreign language)
- Good evening!
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- Country is about being countries.
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- And no one knows more about this country than this guy.
(Sam and crew laughing)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
(flag flapping)
- Ah! (crew members laughing)
- Actually, it's my honor to present this flag
that represents exactly what I love.
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
(Josh grunts animalistically)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- It's based on an experience I had
where I think I fucked a bear?
(Sam and crew laughing)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- Zip!
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
(Josh grunting)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
(Josh yelps, gasps, and screams)
Oh!
- I was in the woods, and I was looking around.
I saw pants. I unzipped them.
Bear cock! (Sam laughing)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
(Josh continues speaking in foreign language)
- Yeah, and he's sort of realizing that I am his wife
and didn't realize I would be translating today
and that I now know that he fucked a bear in the woods
so he's sort of folding up the flag
and is I guess feeling pretty embarrassed
because we haven't had sex in several years.
(Sam laughing)
- I don't know either of them. I get paid $18 an hour.
(Sam laughing)
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- No, keep going.
You had to know I was going to figure it out
that you were going to make our country's symbol
you fucking a bear, so how was it?
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- How was it?
- Oh, like, he's saying it was the best sex he's ever had.
- Yeah, I'm sure, right.
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- I want you to freak me out in the bedroom.
(Josh speaking in foreign language)
- I'm horny! (Sam and crew laughing)
(buzzer blares) - I will cut this off there!
Having expanded into a whole world!
- It's 10:00 AM.
(cheerful music)
- That brings us to round two where our players
will now test their talents in teams of two.
- [Anna] Whoo!
- Josh. - Huh?
- Anna. - Ah!
- Jack builds up the courage to ask Rose
(Josh laughs) if they can share the door.
- Rose.
Rose, Rose. - Yeah, yeah?
(Sam and crew laughing)
Yeah?
- My heart will always go on.
- Oh my God, baby.
(Sam laughing)
Yeah?
- Uh, just, just real quick... - Oh, sweet.
- I'm just noticing something. - Yeah?
- Rose, Rose, please, please, I'm noticing something.
- Yes, honey.
- There seems to be...
There seems to be...
- Hey. (Sam and crew laughing)
- Does he need help?
- (giggles) Shush...
(Sam and crew laughing)
Baby, what? You're being...
You're taking too long.
- Sorry, I think I think I have hypothermia.
- Oh my God! The violinist!
(Sam laughing)
Hey!
- I have a full boat. Like, it's just empty.
- Oh, he's passed. - My hands are frozen.
- [Anna] What are you saying?
- [Josh] Rose! - Yes, baby.
- Rose, I'm really frozen.
Please, if you take me up now...
- I love you, too.
- (moans) Oh no- - I love you too.
And our time has sort of come.
- Shark, shark, shark. Would you-
- Shark? - Shark. (groans)
- Oh, oh my God. (Josh screaming)
- No, no, no, no! Oh God!
(moans) This is, this is..
- Jack, you're being crazy right now.
(Sam laughing)
You're being so silly. Oh, well...
Who wants to come on my door?
(Sam laughing) (buzzer blares)
- Oh my God! - Oh my God!
What incredible decisions. (hands clap)
- After he dies she like, unhooks his hands.
- Yeah, yeah, she's like... - [Sam] Unhooks his hands.
- She's like, "Ew." - Ew, ew.
- He was poor. - [Sam] (laughs) Yeah.
- He was!
- Here points, far points,
wherever you are points. - Wherever you are points.
- Anna. - Yeah?
- And Izzy. - Huh.
- A witness interviewed by the local news
tries way too hard to get autotuned and go viral.
- I'm here at the scene of the crime
where we have an eyewitness who says
that he saw the whole thing.
Now, was it a gru- ♪ I did ♪
- Um, so, uh...
♪ I saw the whole thing ♪
(Sam laughing) - And so...
Describe the bodies for us.
♪ Well ♪
- Well, the bodies
♪ Were covered in blood ♪
♪ They were covered in blood ♪
On the floor and I was like...
♪ Whoa, whoa, this is crazy ♪ (Sam laughing)
♪ Their blood is everywhere ♪
I was like, "Ah! Ah!"
I was like "Ah, ah, ah!"
Y-y-yeah, eek! (laughs)
And so I just kind of like, walked...
♪ In, I walked in ♪
And then I sort of...
♪ I walked up ♪
♪ I said I walked up ♪
(Sam and Josh laughing)
- (sighs) So uh, yes, five children were killed today.
(cast laughing)
Beloved children under the age of-
♪ And it was like, so sad ♪
♪ It was so sad ♪
- And cut! (buzzer blares)
♪ Dead bodies, dead bodies ♪ ♪ So sad ♪
(Anna vocalizing)
- Yeah, I think we gotta say...
♪ So many points ♪
♪ So, so many points for you ♪
(crew laughing)
We are all the way back at Izzy...
And Josh!
- Oh! - Damn!
- This couple's shortlist of baby names is batshit.
- I mean, I'm personally excited about Globalina.
(Sam and Anna laughing)
- Globalina's really high up there because we love globes.
And I feel like there's no way to make fun of it.
(Sam laughs)
Another one that I really love is Snack.
- We like snack. You might think for obvious reasons.
- Furgirl, yeah. - Furgirl.
- Which might be problematic.
- Turnip. - Turnip, Chunky Duncan.
- Chunky Duncan. (Sam laughing)
Clam Poppa. - Clam Poppa.
Mrs. Dunkins, Tubi.
- Roku. - Roku Box, Boku Rox.
- Philo. - Sakura.
- Upside-down. - Big Podium Girl.
- Cool Little Shit.
- Fish Bowel. Not Fish Bowl, but Fish Bowel.
- Fish Bowel. Alone By The History Channel.
- [Josh] Hey There. - Gorgeous.
- Josh Ruben.
- Izzy Roland, which is kinda French.
- Izroland. - Izroland.
- Axter. - And Mike.
(buzzer blares) - I will cut you off there!
There is absolutely a child out there named Axter.
- Totally!
- They're both registered for points,
and if you go online, you can choose which points
you're going to give to them.
Josh. - Huh?
- Anna. - Yes?
- The theater piece sure does involve a lot
of pausing the scene and talking to the audience.
- Ah, just when you think you could walk in here.
- I did certainly think I was. It's 20 past 12:00,
and I told you I'd be coming by at this time.
He never remembers when I tell him the time.
(Sam laughing)
- And yet time...
- Where, yes? - Is a crime.
That was the moment I knew. - Oh.
- When I told her time was a crime that it rhymed.
- I didn't understand what he was saying
when he said time was a crime.
I was like, what are you talking about?
- And yet here we are again. (Sam laughing)
- You may think time's a crime,
but there's no crime like the one you've committed
with my sister. (Sam gasps)
- She was talking about the time I-
- I was talking about the time that...
- I strangled- - He strangled my sister.
- Sister. (Sam and crew laughing)
- It was a bummer. - Very violent.
- Very violent and a bummer. - And a bummer.
It was a violent bummer. - Violent bummer.
- A violent, violent bummer. - I hate him so much.
- You go. No, no, I'll go, I'll go.
- You go. Oh no. - Oh no.
- Oh, shoot. Okay. - Move.
It was the last time we ever entered a doorway and passed.
- It was the last time we ever entered a doorway and passed.
- And that was a fuck. - Fuck, fuck.
- Like truly, fuck me! - Like, truly.
I'm doing everything I can! - Fuck me!
- What the hell is going on in this show?
- We blocked this multiple times. Anyway...
- You're probably wondering about the choreography and so-
- When will my sister come back?
- Oh! (Sam and crew laughing)
- You can't bring my sister back!
- Time. (Sam and crew laughing)
- When will my sister come back?
- This is actually a cue I definitely forgot.
- When will my sister come back?
- I wasn't to supposed to get, a little early.
(buzzer blares) - I will cut you off there!
Fucking right! - One EarGOT, hopefully.
- That might have gotten you the EarGOT.
- And now playing on Broadway, "The Violent Bummer."
(Anna laughing)
Yeah, standing ovation amount of points
for the both of you. - Oh!
- That sounds- - That sounds good.
That sounds like a lot. - [Josh] Izzy, no.
- Sorry- - She's rolling her eyes.
- You should celebrate, the both of you.
Don't pay attention to Izzy.
- Don't pay attention to-
(Sam laughing)
They're gonna have a hard time with that one.
- Oops, I just saw it's time to pay attention to Izzy.
- Oops. (Anna laughing)
- Anna. - Yes?
- And Izzy. - Oof.
- Catty teens roast Sam's outfit.
- Do you see that?
- You look like a Nutter Butter.
(Sam and Josh laughing)
Your shirt and tie look like a vagina.
(Sam chuckles)
- I'm getting for sure labia vibes
from sort of the darker pink in the middle.
- I'm getting married without children.
(Sam and Josh laughing)
- That was not about my outfit.
- It's giving, hates summer.
- It's giving, what's that brand?
- When teens whisper. - I hate it.
- It's giving OshBosh Gosh B'Gosh.
(Sam laughing)
- It's giving "Does he have legs?"
- It's giving, never seen this man's legs.
- It's giving- - Izzy's like,
frantically deciding if it's actually too mean.
That's what's going on right now, I can tell.
Give it to me.
- It's giving "Wish I was Daniel Tosh" vibes.
(Sam and crew laughing)
It's giving "Wish this was 'The Soup.'"
(Sam laughing)
- It's giving, I don't know, I-
- To think I can stop my own torture at any moment
just by pushing this button. - Yeah, I like your outfit.
- Oh! Oh, that's really nice! (buzzer blares)
I'll cut you off there, the both of you.
- Oh my God.
- A me crying in the mirror tonight amount of points.
(Josh chuckles)
Which brings us to the last prompt of round two. So sad.
- Aw. - So sad.
- Izzy. (Josh gasps)
- Alone?
- And Josh. - Together.
- I disappear.
- Italian mobsters try to out-order each other at dinner.
- Hey, let me get a, let me get a, let me get a coff.
- I'm gonna get a full zuppa di pesce.
And I don't know if...
And I want it, and I'm not just saying zuppa di pesce.
I want the full Christmas Eve dinner, and I want it now.
- I want a table (Sam laughs)
covered in cream! (Sam laughing)
Shoot it to death!
- I want my nonna here dumpin' flour all over the floor.
I wanna take 500 egg yolks.
I wanna dip 'em on the floor,
and I wanna break 'em up with a shovel.
Then I wanna turn it into pasta.
I wanna make my nonna, watch my nonna turn it into pasta.
I wanna eat all that pasta.
- Sorry, you just want your,
you want your nonna to turn into pasta?
- I want my nonna, I want her here.
I wanna dump all the flour on the floor. Egg yolk, make-
- 500 egg yolks. - 500 egg yolks.
- I want Jonnie Marbles' tongue on a dish.
Put it on a roller coaster, send it on Space Mountain,
take its picture on a ride.
Fry it up in a chicken fried steak!
Put it in my belly. Don't wanna chew it.
Don't wanna eat it at all.
Cut it open, shove it inside!
- I want a trunk of a Cadillac filled with cottage cheese!
I wanna cover the cottage cheese in gaffaga gabagool.
I want that gabagool get all stirred up by a witch's broom.
I want that witch's broom to be not straw but dry spaget.
- I wanna shave this man's head!
- I want a football field-sized-a cannoli!
(buzzer blares) - I gotta cut you off there
before one of you has an aneurism, I-
- [Anna] That would have been gorgeous.
- Apologize in advance to the closed captioning team.
(Anna laughing)
I don't know how they're gonna navigate
their way out of that one. - Gaffaga, question mark,
question mark, sniff through my nose,
question mark, question mark. - Cauldron.
(cheerful music)
- That brings us to our second minigame.
This is a minigame we like to call Take Some Direction.
How it works, players, is- - Oh!
- I'm gonna give you a famous line of dialogue
to repeat one at a time.
In between readings I will give you micro-direction
in order to affect your performance.
In other words, an acting challenge, make sense?
(Josh blows fingernails confidently)
Your line is, from "The Princess Bride,"
"My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die."
- Mandy Patinkin, the love of my life.
- Josh. - Huh?
- Go.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Anna, give me a little bit more.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Izzy, give me a little bit more.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Josh, with an odd inflection.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Anna, it's a secret. (laughs)
- (whisper) My name is Inigo Montoya.
(laughs) You killed my father.
(Sam laughing)
Prepare to die.
- Izzy, in an extreme close-up.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Josh, to a non-English speaker.
- My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- Anna, to someone on the phone
while silently arguing with someone in the room.
- My name, my name is Inigo Montoya.
I'm, I'm , on... (Sam laughing)
You, you killed my father.
Hi!
Prepare to die.
- Izzy, on the verge of tears.
- My name is Inigo Montoya. (sobs softly)
You killed my father. (sniffles)
(Sam laughing)
Prepare to die.
- Josh, in a Saturday morning cartoon.
- (high-pitched voice) My name is Inigo Montoya, ha-ha!
You killed my father! Prepare to die, ha-ha!
(Josh mimics impacts landing)
- Anna, in a one-person show on Broadway.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- (chuckles) It was just another day, I thought.
(Sam laughing)
And then I remembered. (chuckles)
My name is Inigo Montoya. (chuckles)
It was sweet, you know? (Sam laughing)
You killed my father.
Prepare to die.
- Izzy, enjoying a tall, cool Barq's Root Beer.
- My name's Inigo Montoya. (Sam laughing)
(Sam and Josh laughing)
You killed my father!
(Anna laughing) - Why so different?
- Prepare to die. (cast laughing)
- Josh, a living statue that comes to life
when someone puts a dollar in its hat.
- Hey, my name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
(Sam laughing) Prepare to die.
- Anna, giving a TED Talk.
- My name is Inigo Montoya, right?
Like, we know this. This we know.
You killed my father. We all killed my father, right?
(Sam laughing)
And this is some bad news. (Sam and crew laughing)
- And finally, Izzy, giving a demonstration
at Colonial Williamsburg.
(Sam and Anna laughing)
- My name's Inigo Montoya. (Sam and Josh laughing)
You killed my father.
(Anna mimics viscous fluid slurping)
Prepare to die.
- And that's a minigame! - Yay!
- Bravo, the three of you!
(dramatic music)
That brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
- Fart. (Anna blows raspberry)
- Fart! (Anna blows raspberry)
(Sam and crew laughing)
It's 10:00 AM.
- Josh. - Huh?
- Anna. - Yeah!
- Izzy, one friend is taking the birthday song
way too seriously.
- [All] One, two, three.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- You're off.
♪ Happy birthday, dear ♪
♪ S-Sh-Shelby ♪
(Anna vocalizing extravagantly)
♪ Shelby ♪
(Sam and crew laughing)
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah ♪
(Sam and crew laughing)
- [Josh] Wow! - I love that!
♪ Are you one ♪
♪ Are you two ♪ - I don't know that part.
♪ Are you three, are you four, are you five ♪
♪ Are you six, are you seven ♪ (Sam laughing)
♪ Are you eight, are you nine, are you 10 ♪
♪ Are you 11, are you 12 ♪
(Sam and crew laughing) ♪ Are you 13, are you 14 ♪
♪ Are you 15, are you 16 ♪
♪ Are you 17, are you 18, are you 19 ♪
- Are you 20? How old is she?
♪ Are you 21, are you 22 ♪ (Buzzer blares)
- All right, I'll cut you off there.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ - That's great!
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
(Josh vocalizing)
- Fan-fucking-tastic.
Yeah, make a wish amount of points for you.
That brings us to the last prompt of our game!
Josh. - Yep.
- Anna. - Yeah?
- Izzy. - Yes.
- Two indoor cats and the outdoor cat they despise.
- What? What?
- Please just leave us alone. - Just go.
(Izzy mimics cat pissing) - Ew!
- Oh, not again!
(Izzy continues mimicking cat pissing)
- [Anna] No, oh! - Oh God, it wafts in
when we just wanna sniff the fucking breeze!
- You get canned food?
- Are you gonna beat us up if we don't give it to you?
(Izzy spits)
- Oh, whoa! - A bird!
- It's a fucking bird!
- I got that today!
- Wow.
- It was already dead. - Oh my God, he's disgusting.
- He's disgusting! Hey!
- Stop doing that. - If we give you canned food
for one more time, will you leave us alone?
- Yeah. - [Anna] Oh.
- Yeah, I'll leave you alone forever.
(crew member laughing)
(Anna giggling) - One, two, three.
(Izzy gobbling ravenously)
Oh my God, she ate the whole fucking can!
- She ate the can! (Izzy moans triumphantly)
- [Josh] Oh my God! - Oh yeah!
- [Anna] I mean, we can't hate her 'cause she's...
(Sam laughing)
- Yeah, now... (mimics squirting)
- No! Are you pregnant? - Always!
- All right, I'll cut you off there.
- Oh my God, that is my new favorite character.
- A feral amount of points for the three of you.
That brings us to the end of our game.
Our winner tonight...
Anna Garcia.
(Josh cheers excitedly) - Whoa, whoa!
- [Sam] Anna... (laughs)
- [Josh] Izzy, come on- - [Anna] Izzy!
- You are the recipient of the coveted Golden Ear.
- I'm an EarGOT now.
- That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(upbeat music) (audience applauding)
(upbeat music softens)