1 00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,697 - That is humorous, yes. - Very humorous, yes. 2 00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:08,333 - Quite jocular, yes. - Droll, very droll, yes. 3 00:00:08,334 --> 00:00:10,601 - Whimsical, yes, yes. Quite absurd, yes. 4 00:00:10,602 --> 00:00:11,670 - Quite whimsical, yes. 5 00:00:11,771 --> 00:00:13,639 Priceless wit of a satirical bent, yes. 6 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:16,807 [rock music] 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:20,812 ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:23,781 [dramatic music] 9 00:00:23,782 --> 00:00:30,856 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:34,692 - Behold, oh dim-witted humans. 11 00:00:34,693 --> 00:00:36,761 I am Smart Butt-Head. 12 00:00:36,762 --> 00:00:40,632 - And I am the one sages call Smart Beavis. 13 00:00:40,633 --> 00:00:42,434 - In the past, we have come to you 14 00:00:42,435 --> 00:00:44,135 to chronicle the mysterious events 15 00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:46,471 of a distant universe where Beavis and Butt-Head 16 00:00:46,472 --> 00:00:49,374 are not teenagers, but in middle age. 17 00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,476 - At the height of their powers. 18 00:00:51,477 --> 00:00:54,412 But today, we bring you a different tale, 19 00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:56,515 a tale about ourselves. 20 00:00:56,516 --> 00:00:58,517 - The legend of how we came to be known 21 00:00:58,617 --> 00:01:00,818 across the cosmos as... 22 00:01:00,819 --> 00:01:03,187 - The Discoverers. 23 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,190 [dramatic orchestral music] 24 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:13,265 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:17,535 - Our legend begins the day 26 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,440 we were called before the Supreme Leaders. 27 00:01:21,441 --> 00:01:23,409 [metallic scraping] 28 00:01:23,509 --> 00:01:25,577 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:25,578 --> 00:01:28,780 - Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 30 00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:31,016 we have for you an important mission. 31 00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:35,520 The Smart Council has decided to invade Earth I, 32 00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:37,588 the planet they call Normal Earth. 33 00:01:37,589 --> 00:01:39,157 - The humans who live there 34 00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:41,859 are too stupid to have their own planet. 35 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,529 - And so they must be terminated. 36 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,731 Mm-kay? 37 00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:47,699 - Your Mission is to go to Earth I 38 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,434 and place a navigational beacon 39 00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,604 to show our space fleet precisely where to attack. 40 00:01:52,704 --> 00:01:54,472 - Ah, yes, you chose us 41 00:01:54,473 --> 00:01:57,309 because of our deep understanding of Normal Earth. 42 00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:59,278 - And wisdom in the art of war. 43 00:01:59,378 --> 00:02:03,148 - No, we chose you because you will probably die. 44 00:02:03,149 --> 00:02:06,551 - You were the most expendable people we could think of. 45 00:02:06,552 --> 00:02:09,587 - And we are extremely good at thinking. 46 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,422 - Quite right, Smart Todd. 47 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:15,294 - Now go. May science be with you. 48 00:02:15,394 --> 00:02:17,662 ♪ ♪ 49 00:02:17,663 --> 00:02:20,598 - Very well. We shall go to Normal Earth. 50 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,734 - And we shall be its doom. 51 00:02:22,735 --> 00:02:24,970 - Indeed. Doom. 52 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:27,538 - Yes, yes. Quite jocular. - Chucklesome, yes, yes. 53 00:02:27,539 --> 00:02:29,141 - Amusing jocosity. - Yes, yes. 54 00:02:29,241 --> 00:02:31,276 Waggish and farcical as well, yes. 55 00:02:31,376 --> 00:02:32,611 [Post Malone's "Insane"] 56 00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:35,046 - ♪ Yeah, we want to go insane ♪ 57 00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:38,617 ♪ ♪ 58 00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:40,651 - Interesting, quite interesting, yes. 59 00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:42,954 - Yes, yes. Very interesting. 60 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,923 - ♪ Take your bitch, give her back, insane ♪ 61 00:02:45,924 --> 00:02:47,926 ♪ Sent her packing, she was actin' crazy ♪ 62 00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:50,661 - People less sophisticated than ourselves might assume 63 00:02:50,662 --> 00:02:53,865 that this is a man stumbling around intoxicated in his yard 64 00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:55,634 and should be handed over to the authorities. 65 00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:57,602 - Yes, but we know better. 66 00:02:57,603 --> 00:03:00,605 - These are sophisticated dance moves with great meaning. 67 00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:02,974 - Yes, it will take our scientists many centuries 68 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,710 to interpret what he is saying through the language of dance. 69 00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:07,012 - Yes, yes. 70 00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:09,447 The probability of him urinating in his own pants 71 00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:10,515 is zero. 72 00:03:10,516 --> 00:03:12,017 - I need it cash, cake ♪ 73 00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:14,486 - Did you catch that, Smart Butt-Head? 74 00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:17,323 He is expressing his earthly desire for fornication 75 00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:18,823 and a carton of smokes. 76 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,592 - Ah, yes. Yes, indeed. 77 00:03:20,593 --> 00:03:21,827 - ♪ But it's different ♪ 78 00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:23,328 - Oh, look at this. 79 00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,629 He is paying tribute to the God of fertility. 80 00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,666 - Yes, yes, by placing his hand near his Earth penis, 81 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,868 I believe this is how they pledge of allegiance. 82 00:03:30,869 --> 00:03:32,204 - Yes, yes. 83 00:03:32,304 --> 00:03:34,673 - The Earth penis is a much less intelligent organ 84 00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,040 than our space penis. 85 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,009 - Yes, yes. 86 00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:39,944 Primitive 16-bit Earth penis, yes, yes. 87 00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,712 - ♪ Completely ♪ 88 00:03:41,713 --> 00:03:44,148 - I do not understand what he appears to be doing now. 89 00:03:44,149 --> 00:03:46,351 What is the meaning of this, Smart Butt-Head? 90 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,153 - He is performing the ancient moves 91 00:03:48,154 --> 00:03:51,223 necessary before immersion in the basin of purification. 92 00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,724 - Ah, yes, indeed, yes. 93 00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:54,759 I believe you are correct, Smart Butt-Head, yes. 94 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,596 - Humans must reach the exalted state they call 95 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,566 krunk before immersion into the pool of infinity. 96 00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:01,934 - Yes, yes, that pool, 97 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,769 like the wisdom of Post Malone, is infinite. 98 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,238 - ♪ Second verse, second verse, yay ♪ 99 00:04:07,239 --> 00:04:08,340 ♪ Second verse ♪ 100 00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:10,741 - This is very good, Smart Butt-Head. 101 00:04:10,742 --> 00:04:12,410 - Yes, yes. Very good. 102 00:04:12,411 --> 00:04:14,612 I do not understand why it was not nominated 103 00:04:14,613 --> 00:04:16,047 for the Space Oscars. 104 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,983 - Ah, yes. Yes, it is a travesty. 105 00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:21,753 - Post Malone has become quite wealthy doing this. 106 00:04:21,754 --> 00:04:24,222 - Yes, yes, it is no wonder that the Earthlings 107 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,991 have made him their king. 108 00:04:25,992 --> 00:04:27,526 - ♪ To try to teach me how to dance ♪ 109 00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,928 - What do those words on his face mean? 110 00:04:29,929 --> 00:04:32,063 - They mean one thing, Smart Beavis. 111 00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:35,566 Kidnap me and probe my anus. - Yes, yes. 112 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,902 - Perhaps we should lure him into our spacecraft 113 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,738 with a 40-ouncer and a pack of cigarettes 114 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,907 and take him to our home planet for study. 115 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,109 - Yes, yes. 116 00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:46,944 40 ounces is the optimal volume for malt liquor. 117 00:04:46,945 --> 00:04:49,947 - 32-ounce does not get you messed up sufficiently. 118 00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:52,150 And 52 ounces is too heavy to hold. 119 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,787 - Yes, yes. Do you think he would mind being probed? 120 00:04:55,788 --> 00:04:58,123 - I do not think he would mind or notice. 121 00:04:58,223 --> 00:04:59,125 - Yes, yes. 122 00:04:59,225 --> 00:05:02,161 [suspenseful music] 123 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:09,268 ♪ ♪ 124 00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:14,473 - Look upon these foolish humans, 125 00:05:14,573 --> 00:05:17,141 unaware their destruction is nigh. 126 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:20,846 - Let us place the beacon here in this temple of commerce. 127 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:21,947 ♪ ♪ 128 00:05:21,948 --> 00:05:24,148 [bell chimes] 129 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,950 How primitive. - Yes. 130 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,120 The convenience stores on our world are far more advanced. 131 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,623 - Yes, yes, very primitive, yes. 132 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:34,460 - It appears to be an obsolete form of nachos. 133 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,462 - Yes, quite archaic, yes. 134 00:05:36,562 --> 00:05:38,397 Where is the space cheese? 135 00:05:38,398 --> 00:05:40,165 - And look at this. 136 00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:42,500 Primitive analog pornography. 137 00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,768 - Fascinating. 138 00:05:43,769 --> 00:05:45,771 We must take it for our research. 139 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,708 Now, let us place the beacon 140 00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,877 to guide our space fleet to its prey. 141 00:05:51,878 --> 00:05:54,712 - But where shall we place it, Smart Beavis? 142 00:05:54,713 --> 00:05:58,216 - Ah, these days, you got to take out a mortgage 143 00:05:58,217 --> 00:06:02,220 just to buy some cold ones, I tell you what. 144 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,322 - Let us put the beacon in this chamber. 145 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,691 It should suffice. 146 00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:08,493 - Yes, yes. A felicitous location, yes. 147 00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:10,229 - Well, hold on there, boys. 148 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,230 You can't just take those magazines 149 00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:15,366 and go whack off in the bathroom. 150 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,035 - I do not understand. 151 00:06:17,036 --> 00:06:18,537 - What do these words mean? 152 00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:20,571 "Whack off"? 153 00:06:20,572 --> 00:06:24,175 - You know, choking the chicken. 154 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:27,078 Beating your meat. 155 00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:29,882 Spanking your monkey. 156 00:06:29,982 --> 00:06:33,151 Son, I'm talking about masturbating. 157 00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:34,520 - We have never heard of it. 158 00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:37,390 - What is masturbating? 159 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:39,824 - You really don't know? 160 00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:41,693 Oh, boy. 161 00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:45,531 Well, all right, I guess I'll explain it to you then. 162 00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:48,033 You see, sometimes a man-- 163 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,471 And that's pretty much the long and short of it. 164 00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:54,606 - Fascinating. 165 00:06:54,607 --> 00:06:56,608 - Your own schlong? 166 00:06:56,609 --> 00:06:58,243 - Quite fascinating, indeed. 167 00:06:58,244 --> 00:07:01,078 - We must try this immediately for research. 168 00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:02,114 - Indeed. 169 00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,083 We shall return immediately afterwards 170 00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:05,784 and place the beacon. 171 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,787 [dramatic orchestral music] 172 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,088 ♪ ♪ 173 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,063 - The research was a success. 174 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,165 - Indeed. 175 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,432 The old man's analysis 176 00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,668 of spanking your monkey was correct. 177 00:07:23,669 --> 00:07:25,137 - Quite accurate, yes. 178 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,571 Let us go now and place the beacon. 179 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,642 - First, we should conduct the research one more time. 180 00:07:30,643 --> 00:07:31,843 - Very well. 181 00:07:36,516 --> 00:07:37,949 - Research complete. 182 00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,918 Let us place the beacon. 183 00:07:40,018 --> 00:07:43,188 - Or we conduct the research one more time. 184 00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:44,756 - Yes, yes, I agree. 185 00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:47,426 One more time, yes. We must be thorough, yes. 186 00:07:48,994 --> 00:07:52,064 [doors opening and shutting] 187 00:07:55,501 --> 00:07:58,570 [doors opening and shutting] 188 00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:01,007 - My schlong hurts. 189 00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:02,340 - As does mine. 190 00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:04,175 - It is finally time to cease our research 191 00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:05,643 and plant the beacon. 192 00:08:05,644 --> 00:08:06,878 - Agreed. 193 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:09,081 But first, one more time. 194 00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:16,487 ♪ ♪ 195 00:08:16,488 --> 00:08:19,491 - Set course for the navigation beacon. 196 00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,393 - I'm not detecting it, sir. 197 00:08:21,394 --> 00:08:22,861 - That's not possible. 198 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:25,864 We sent a team to plant it a week ago. 199 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,899 - It was never turned on, sir. 200 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,834 We have zero navigational data. 201 00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:31,168 - No matter. 202 00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:35,339 I became Smart Admiral because I am expert in navigating 203 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,408 without-- 204 00:08:50,122 --> 00:08:51,423 [dramatic music] 205 00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:53,825 - Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 206 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:56,027 you failed to place the beacon. 207 00:08:56,028 --> 00:08:57,230 As a result, 208 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,698 our invasion fleet crashed into the moon, 209 00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:01,699 destroying over 40 ships 210 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,202 and putting Admiral Smart Van Driessen 211 00:09:04,203 --> 00:09:06,371 in the space emergency room. 212 00:09:06,372 --> 00:09:10,042 - You have disappointed us for the last time, mm-kay? 213 00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:14,579 - You have anything to say before we pass sentence? 214 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,614 - In our defense, Supreme Leaders, 215 00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:18,316 we have discovered something. 216 00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,851 - Indeed, we did. 217 00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:24,389 Something unknown to our planet called spanking your monkey. 218 00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,658 - I will beam you how it works. 219 00:09:26,659 --> 00:09:29,160 [devices chime] 220 00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,563 - Very well. 221 00:09:30,663 --> 00:09:33,931 We will consider this spanking your monkey 222 00:09:33,932 --> 00:09:36,835 and return with our verdict. 223 00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:39,738 [ominous music] 224 00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:44,876 ♪ ♪ 225 00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:50,215 [ominous music] 226 00:09:50,315 --> 00:09:57,355 ♪ ♪ 227 00:09:57,356 --> 00:10:00,691 We will now vote on your sentence. 228 00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:01,726 - Death. 229 00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,828 - Give them a billion dollars. 230 00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:05,531 - Throw them a parade. 231 00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,566 - Give them $2 billion. 232 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,734 - Rename the planet in their honor. 233 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:13,571 - Sing songs of their triumph at every public gathering. 234 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:17,076 - Let us consider the evidence one more time. 235 00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:20,413 Yes. - Agreed. 236 00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:23,049 - You've got to be kidding me. 237 00:10:23,149 --> 00:10:26,051 [triumphant orchestral music] 238 00:10:26,151 --> 00:10:29,387 ♪ ♪ 239 00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:32,524 - I only wish more people had come to our parade. 240 00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:36,027 - They are all at home spanking their monkeys. 241 00:10:36,028 --> 00:10:38,564 - Thanks to what we learned from that old man, 242 00:10:38,664 --> 00:10:41,866 Earth 327-Z would never be the same again. 243 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:47,072 ♪ ♪ 244 00:10:47,073 --> 00:10:49,607 And that is why we are known as... 245 00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,344 - The Discoverers. 246 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:57,015 ♪ ♪ 247 00:11:02,688 --> 00:11:05,723 [rock music] 248 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:12,798 ♪ ♪ 249 00:11:25,077 --> 00:11:27,078 [chiming noises] 250 00:11:27,079 --> 00:11:28,146 - Chirp.