1 00:00:03,749 --> 00:00:07,492 [rock music] 2 00:00:07,579 --> 00:00:10,582 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:14,760 This is gonna be cool. 4 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,329 [chuckling] We're gonna egg a house. 5 00:00:18,416 --> 00:00:19,940 [chuckling] - Yeah, it's gonna be cool. 6 00:00:20,027 --> 00:00:21,550 Yeah. [chuckling] 7 00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:24,248 But, um, like, which house should we egg? 8 00:00:24,335 --> 00:00:25,859 [indistinct yelling] 9 00:00:25,946 --> 00:00:28,687 Uh, not this one. 10 00:00:28,774 --> 00:00:31,995 Whoever lives here is cool. [chuckling] 11 00:00:32,082 --> 00:00:34,084 [dog barking] 12 00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:37,218 Yeah, not this one either. These guys kick ass. 13 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,959 [chuckling] - They sure do, Beavis. 14 00:00:39,046 --> 00:00:40,047 [chuckling] 15 00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:45,791 Whoa, now, whoever lives here sucks. 16 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,751 Beavis, I think we have a winner. 17 00:00:48,838 --> 00:00:51,623 Yeah, yeah, let's egg it, yeah. 18 00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:54,148 Okay, Beavis, when I count to three, 19 00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:56,628 let's throw these eggs. 20 00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:58,630 Uh, go. 21 00:00:58,717 --> 00:00:59,718 [both grunting] 22 00:00:59,805 --> 00:01:02,069 [both chuckling] 23 00:01:02,156 --> 00:01:03,984 - Yeah. - [chuckling] 24 00:01:06,116 --> 00:01:07,639 - [grunts] - [chuckling] 25 00:01:07,726 --> 00:01:08,858 Damn it. 26 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,775 Ugh, damn it! [chuckling] 27 00:01:14,995 --> 00:01:16,387 Ah! 28 00:01:16,474 --> 00:01:17,693 Beavis, you dumbass. 29 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,564 You got in the way of my perfect throw. 30 00:01:19,651 --> 00:01:22,306 [chuckling] - [grunts] 31 00:01:22,393 --> 00:01:24,265 I'll show you how it's done, Beavis. 32 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,397 Check this out. [chuckling] 33 00:01:26,484 --> 00:01:27,398 [grunts] 34 00:01:28,747 --> 00:01:30,575 Ah! 35 00:01:30,662 --> 00:01:32,621 Damn it. Throwing sucks. 36 00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:33,665 [chuckling] 37 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,410 [humming melody] 38 00:01:39,497 --> 00:01:42,196 ♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪ 39 00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:43,849 Butt-Head: Uh, I think 40 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,503 she's supposed to be, like, Pinocchio, 41 00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:48,158 but when she lies, her butt grows bigger. 42 00:01:48,245 --> 00:01:49,638 [chuckling] 43 00:01:49,725 --> 00:01:51,379 Yeah, yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 44 00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:53,947 She been doing a whole lot of lying. 45 00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:56,514 You know what I'm saying? [chuckling] 46 00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:57,776 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:59,604 I wish, when I lied, 48 00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:01,563 my schlong would grow bigger 'cause then I'd be like, 49 00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:03,478 "Hey, baby." [chuckling] 50 00:02:03,565 --> 00:02:06,220 "I have a gigantic schlong." [chuckling] 51 00:02:06,307 --> 00:02:09,484 And I'd be lying, but then my schlong would get bigger 52 00:02:09,571 --> 00:02:11,529 because I'm lying, see? 53 00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:13,140 And then it would be true, though, 54 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,533 so, um, I don't know if it shrinks again or-- 55 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,318 I don't know how that works, you know? 56 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,276 I don't know what the Pinocchio rules are. 57 00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,626 You know? [chuckling] 58 00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:23,715 Yeah, maybe it would just, like, start growing 59 00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:25,413 and shrinking back and forth, you know, like, 60 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,763 'cause, um, 'cause it grows, and then I'm not lying, 61 00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,286 and then it shrinks since I'm lying, 62 00:02:29,373 --> 00:02:30,853 and then, you know, it just goes back and forth. 63 00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:33,464 It's kind of going "boing, oing, boing, boing, boing." 64 00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:34,900 [chuckling] 65 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,641 And then I wouldn't even need the chick, you know? 66 00:02:36,728 --> 00:02:38,730 I could just have my schlong do all the work, you know? 67 00:02:38,817 --> 00:02:40,297 [chuckling] 68 00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:41,603 And I wouldn't need my hands either. 69 00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:43,518 [chuckling] 70 00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:46,521 Can go eat lunch or something. You know, go about my business. 71 00:02:46,608 --> 00:02:48,001 You know? [chuckling] 72 00:02:48,088 --> 00:02:49,437 Maybe take up a new hobby, you know, 73 00:02:49,524 --> 00:02:51,961 like, um, like, um... 74 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:53,441 uh, like spanking my-- oh, no, never mind. 75 00:02:53,528 --> 00:02:55,008 [chuckling] 76 00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:56,487 That was quite a ride, Beavis. 77 00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:58,011 [chuckling] 78 00:02:58,098 --> 00:02:59,838 I guess what I'm saying, though, is, like, um, 79 00:02:59,925 --> 00:03:02,841 is I wish I could lie a lot and have a big schlong. 80 00:03:02,928 --> 00:03:04,582 That's all. [chuckling] 81 00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:08,325 That would rule. [chuckling] 82 00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:10,849 Uh, you know, they really should 83 00:03:10,936 --> 00:03:13,504 make a "Schlongnocchio" movie. [chuckling] 84 00:03:13,591 --> 00:03:15,158 'Cause then, like, Jimmy Cricket 85 00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:17,769 can get it on with Tinkerbell, and then Peter Pan 86 00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:19,554 can grant him a real schlong, 87 00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:21,469 and they can all ride off on Dumbo. 88 00:03:21,556 --> 00:03:23,166 [chuckling] 89 00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,734 Beavis: [chuckling] 90 00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:27,605 Butt-Head: And then that cricket can be like, 91 00:03:27,692 --> 00:03:31,653 "Uh, hey, Tinkerbell, wanna see my seventh leg?" 92 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,698 [chuckling] 93 00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:35,135 [chuckling] Yeah. 94 00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:37,702 "Hey, Tinkerbell, hey, how'd you like to see 95 00:03:37,789 --> 00:03:40,183 something that always grows up? You know what I'm saying?" 96 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,707 [chuckling] 97 00:03:42,794 --> 00:03:44,492 ♪ If that bitch gets slick, I'll cut the bitch ♪ 98 00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:48,061 Uh, okay, Beavis, I have an idea for a game. 99 00:03:48,148 --> 00:03:49,627 [chuckling] 100 00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:52,804 Every time she says, "bitch," I get to smack you. 101 00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:54,415 [chuckling] - No way! 102 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,895 Why would I do that? [chuckling] 103 00:03:56,982 --> 00:03:59,333 Butt-Head: Uh, okay, how about this? 104 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:01,944 Every time she says "butt," you can smack me. 105 00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:04,251 Uh, okay, yeah, I mean, 106 00:04:04,338 --> 00:04:06,166 she is the queen of butts. [chuckling] 107 00:04:06,253 --> 00:04:07,341 Your funeral. [chuckling] 108 00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:11,736 Now let the games begin. [chuckling] 109 00:04:11,823 --> 00:04:12,998 ♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪ 110 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,652 ♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪ 111 00:04:14,739 --> 00:04:15,914 ♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪ - Ah! Wait, I-- 112 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:17,351 Ah! Okay, okay. - ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪ 113 00:04:17,438 --> 00:04:18,743 I can't hear when you're smacking me! 114 00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:20,136 Ah! Wait, I think-- 115 00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:21,137 - [grunts] - Hold on! 116 00:04:21,224 --> 00:04:22,834 Why did I-- ah, ah, ow! 117 00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:24,967 I can--ah! Hey! 118 00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:26,708 - ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪ - [screams] 119 00:04:26,795 --> 00:04:27,752 ♪ Get the combination to the safe ♪ 120 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,537 ♪ And drug the bitch ♪ - I win. 121 00:04:29,624 --> 00:04:32,670 [chuckling] - Ah, ah! 122 00:04:32,757 --> 00:04:34,368 Damn it. [chuckling] 123 00:04:34,455 --> 00:04:36,152 I did not think she would say "bitch" so much 124 00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:37,806 when I agree-- ah! 125 00:04:37,893 --> 00:04:40,330 Wait, Butt-Head, you can't smack me when I say it! 126 00:04:40,417 --> 00:04:42,767 Son of a bitch. Oh, wait, don't--ah! 127 00:04:42,854 --> 00:04:44,029 [chuckling] 128 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,335 Damn it, this game sucks. 129 00:04:48,295 --> 00:04:51,689 Uh, damn it, we're out of eggs. 130 00:04:51,776 --> 00:04:53,126 Where are we gonna get more eggs 131 00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:55,563 to throw at this dumbass house? [chuckling] 132 00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,391 Uh... 133 00:04:57,478 --> 00:04:59,175 [doorbell rings] 134 00:05:00,785 --> 00:05:01,873 Well, hello. 135 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,572 Uh, hello. 136 00:05:04,659 --> 00:05:06,400 We, like, need some eggs. 137 00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:08,619 Yeah, a lot of 'em. Please, yeah. 138 00:05:08,706 --> 00:05:10,795 Eggs? Of course. 139 00:05:10,882 --> 00:05:13,015 Happy to help. - [chuckles] 140 00:05:13,102 --> 00:05:14,886 Reminds me of the old days when a neighbor 141 00:05:14,973 --> 00:05:16,584 would ask for a cup of sugar. 142 00:05:16,671 --> 00:05:19,848 Um, okay. Give us a cup of sugar too. 143 00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:20,805 - Yeah. - [chuckling] 144 00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:22,851 Sure, no problem. 145 00:05:22,938 --> 00:05:24,679 So what grade are you boys in? 146 00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:28,030 Uh, we don't know. [chuckling] 147 00:05:28,117 --> 00:05:30,206 I know what you mean. 148 00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,426 It all goes by so fast, doesn't it? 149 00:05:32,513 --> 00:05:35,168 Uh, no? 150 00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,344 Nope. [chuckling] 151 00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:40,564 There you go, boys. Enjoy. 152 00:05:40,651 --> 00:05:43,132 Bye, boys. You come back anytime now. 153 00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:45,003 Nah. [chuckling] 154 00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:50,008 - Oh, yeah. - [chuckling] 155 00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:53,795 That sugar really hit the spot. - Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah. 156 00:05:53,882 --> 00:05:56,014 You know, they should put this in food and stuff. 157 00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:57,320 Yeah. - Yeah, I wish. 158 00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:58,887 [chuckling] 159 00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:00,758 Now let's go egg those buttholes. 160 00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:02,020 Yeah! [chuckling] 161 00:06:03,674 --> 00:06:05,502 Okay, let's kick 'em this time. 162 00:06:05,589 --> 00:06:07,896 Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks. [chuckling] 163 00:06:07,983 --> 00:06:10,812 [both grunting] 164 00:06:14,032 --> 00:06:15,512 Damn eggs. Ugh! 165 00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:17,688 Ah! 166 00:06:17,775 --> 00:06:20,996 Uh, did we get any eggs on the house? 167 00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:23,259 I think so. Um... 168 00:06:23,346 --> 00:06:26,306 eh, no, I don't think so. [chuckling] 169 00:06:26,393 --> 00:06:28,221 Damn it. [chuckling] 170 00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:30,223 All right, Beavis, I have another idea. 171 00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:32,790 Now follow me. [chuckling] 172 00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:34,923 Um, what is it? 173 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:37,447 Uh, I don't know. 174 00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:42,409 Okay, Beavis, we're gonna toilet paper their house. 175 00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:43,975 Yeah, yeah, because they suck. 176 00:06:44,062 --> 00:06:46,500 [chuckling] 177 00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:50,286 This'll teach them a lesson. Okay, here we go, Beavis. 178 00:06:50,373 --> 00:06:52,157 [chuckling] [grunts] 179 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,729 Yes! 180 00:06:58,816 --> 00:07:01,123 They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah. 181 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,256 No, they're not, dumbass. 182 00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:05,519 The toilet paper went down the sewer. 183 00:07:05,606 --> 00:07:08,522 Oh, yeah, yeah, so it did, yeah. 184 00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:09,653 Damn it. 185 00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,612 Now we gotta get more toilet paper. 186 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,048 Where? 187 00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,529 [doorbell rings] 188 00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:17,313 Hello. 189 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,881 Uh, we need toilet paper. 190 00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:21,578 [both chuckling] 191 00:07:21,665 --> 00:07:23,798 Sure, boys, always happy to help a neighbor. 192 00:07:23,885 --> 00:07:27,367 Um, and we need a lot because I poop too much. 193 00:07:27,454 --> 00:07:29,804 He sure does. [chuckling] 194 00:07:29,891 --> 00:07:32,459 You know, all that talk of eggs and sugar last time 195 00:07:32,546 --> 00:07:35,940 put me in the mood for baking, and I made some cookies. 196 00:07:36,027 --> 00:07:37,420 Whoa. 197 00:07:39,944 --> 00:07:42,207 Well, they sure appreciate your baking, honey. 198 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,384 Put more sugar in next time. 199 00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:46,081 Yeah, yeah, have you heard of that stuff? 200 00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:48,475 Really good, yeah. 201 00:07:48,562 --> 00:07:49,998 - Toilet paper. - Yes! 202 00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:51,478 Yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 203 00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:53,088 It's about time. [chuckling] 204 00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:55,308 Such good boys. 205 00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,486 [both chuckling] 206 00:08:04,795 --> 00:08:08,146 We did it, Butt-Head! We did it, yeah! 207 00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:10,758 Let me guess. You guys did that? 208 00:08:10,845 --> 00:08:13,630 - Yeah, we sure did. - Yeah, it's toilet paper. 209 00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:14,936 [chuckling] 210 00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,068 Real smart to TP a house 211 00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:19,375 when there's a nationwide toilet paper shortage going on. 212 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,858 Um, what? [chuckling] 213 00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,860 There's no toilet paper in the stores right now 214 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:28,558 because of the supply chain, genius. 215 00:08:28,645 --> 00:08:30,343 It's called following the news? 216 00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:37,872 Eh, this sucks. [chuckling] 217 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:40,614 Wait a minute, Beavis, I just thought of something. 218 00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,529 If we get our toilet paper back, 219 00:08:42,616 --> 00:08:44,705 we can sell it and, like, be rich. 220 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,359 Whoa! 221 00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:49,536 - Damn it. - [grunting] 222 00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:52,626 [doorbell rings] 223 00:08:54,671 --> 00:08:58,109 Uh, we got toilet paper. 224 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,808 Yeah, yeah, check it out. Yeah, it's good stuff. 225 00:09:00,895 --> 00:09:02,418 [chuckling] 226 00:09:02,505 --> 00:09:03,724 You can use it on your butt, you know, 227 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,813 or blow your nose or something. 228 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,728 Wow. 229 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,295 For you boys to clean up after some bad kids 230 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:14,430 threw toilet paper on our home, it's wonderful. 231 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:16,650 Thank you. - Yes. 232 00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:18,173 This is the nicest thing anyone's done for us 233 00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,087 in a long while. 234 00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:21,916 Uh, what? 235 00:09:22,003 --> 00:09:24,745 Diane and I were never able to have children 236 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:29,053 of our own, but if we had, we'd sure like to think 237 00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,577 they'd be something like you. 238 00:09:32,143 --> 00:09:34,102 Do you want the toilet paper or not? 239 00:09:34,189 --> 00:09:36,757 Yeah, it's, like, brand-new or something. 240 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:39,412 Yeah, nobody wiped their butt on it, 241 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,544 not even once. [chuckling] 242 00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:43,590 We'll throw this out for you. 243 00:09:43,677 --> 00:09:46,680 Thank you. Thanks again. 244 00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:49,683 - Ugh, damn it. - That sucks. 245 00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,206 They just stole our toilet paper. 246 00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:53,034 [chuckling] 247 00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:55,471 Well, I did wipe my butt on some of it, you know, 248 00:09:55,558 --> 00:09:57,299 if I'm gonna be honest. [chuckling] 249 00:09:57,386 --> 00:09:59,954 We should, like, smear shaving cream everywhere 250 00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:02,304 to prank those buttholes. - Yeah, good idea. 251 00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:04,828 Yeah. [chuckling] 252 00:10:04,915 --> 00:10:07,831 Um, where do we get shaving cream though? 253 00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:10,225 Uh, I know. 254 00:10:10,312 --> 00:10:11,531 [chuckling] 255 00:10:11,618 --> 00:10:13,968 Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 256 00:10:14,055 --> 00:10:15,143 [both chuckling] 257 00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:16,361 [doorbell rings] - This is gonna be cool. 258 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,276 [both chuckling] 259 00:10:21,149 --> 00:10:24,021 [rock music] 260 00:10:24,108 --> 00:10:30,680 ♪ ♪ 261 00:10:47,828 --> 00:10:48,481 Chirp.