1 00:00:04,414 --> 00:00:08,461 [rock music] 2 00:00:08,548 --> 00:00:11,247 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:12,988 --> 00:00:15,425 This is gonna be cool. 4 00:00:15,512 --> 00:00:18,994 [chuckling] We're gonna egg a house. 5 00:00:19,081 --> 00:00:20,604 [chuckling] - Yeah, it's gonna be cool. 6 00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,214 Yeah. [chuckling] 7 00:00:22,301 --> 00:00:24,913 But, um, like, which house should we egg? 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,523 [indistinct yelling] 9 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,352 Uh, not this one. 10 00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:32,660 Whoever lives here is cool. [chuckling] 11 00:00:32,747 --> 00:00:34,749 [dog barking] 12 00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:38,100 Yeah, not this one either. These guys kick ass. 13 00:00:38,187 --> 00:00:39,536 [chuckling] - They sure do, Beavis. 14 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:40,929 [chuckling] 15 00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:46,369 Whoa, now, whoever lives here sucks. 16 00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,328 Beavis, I think we have a winner. 17 00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:52,201 Yeah, yeah, let's egg it, yeah. 18 00:00:52,288 --> 00:00:54,725 Okay, Beavis, when I count to three, 19 00:00:54,812 --> 00:00:57,206 let's throw these eggs. 20 00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:59,512 Uh, go. 21 00:00:59,599 --> 00:01:00,296 [both grunting] 22 00:01:00,383 --> 00:01:02,646 [both chuckling] 23 00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,866 - Yeah. - [chuckling] 24 00:01:06,998 --> 00:01:08,217 - [grunts] - [chuckling] 25 00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:09,435 Damn it. 26 00:01:11,786 --> 00:01:13,352 Ugh, damn it! [chuckling] 27 00:01:15,572 --> 00:01:16,965 Ah! 28 00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:18,270 Beavis, you dumbass. 29 00:01:18,357 --> 00:01:20,142 You got in the way of my perfect throw. 30 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:23,188 [chuckling] - [grunts] 31 00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:24,842 I'll show you how it's done, Beavis. 32 00:01:24,929 --> 00:01:27,279 Check this out. [chuckling] 33 00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:27,976 [grunts] 34 00:01:29,325 --> 00:01:31,153 Ah! 35 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,503 Damn it. Throwing sucks. 36 00:01:33,590 --> 00:01:34,243 [chuckling] 37 00:01:35,810 --> 00:01:39,901 [humming melody] 38 00:01:39,988 --> 00:01:42,686 ♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪ 39 00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,340 Butt-Head: Uh, I think 40 00:01:44,427 --> 00:01:45,994 she's supposed to be, like, Pinocchio, 41 00:01:46,081 --> 00:01:48,648 but when she lies, her butt grows bigger. 42 00:01:48,736 --> 00:01:50,128 [chuckling] 43 00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:51,869 Yeah, yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 44 00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:54,437 She been doing a whole lot of lying. 45 00:01:54,524 --> 00:01:57,005 You know what I'm saying? [chuckling] 46 00:01:57,092 --> 00:01:58,571 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:00,095 I wish, when I lied, 48 00:02:00,182 --> 00:02:02,053 my schlong would grow bigger 'cause then I'd be like, 49 00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,273 "Hey, baby." [chuckling] 50 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,710 "I have a gigantic schlong." [chuckling] 51 00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,974 And I'd be lying, but then my schlong would get bigger 52 00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:12,020 because I'm lying, see? 53 00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:13,630 And then it would be true, though, 54 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,328 so, um, I don't know if it shrinks again or-- 55 00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:17,808 I don't know how that works, you know? 56 00:02:17,895 --> 00:02:20,071 I don't know what the Pinocchio rules are. 57 00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,421 You know? [chuckling] 58 00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:24,206 Yeah, maybe it would just, like, start growing 59 00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:25,903 and shrinking back and forth, you know, like, 60 00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:28,253 'cause, um, 'cause it grows, and then I'm not lying, 61 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:29,777 and then it shrinks since I'm lying, 62 00:02:29,864 --> 00:02:31,648 and then, you know, it just goes back and forth. 63 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,955 It's kind of going "boing, oing, boing, boing, boing." 64 00:02:34,042 --> 00:02:35,391 [chuckling] 65 00:02:35,478 --> 00:02:37,045 And then I wouldn't even need the chick, you know? 66 00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:39,134 I could just have my schlong do all the work, you know? 67 00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:40,700 [chuckling] 68 00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,006 And I wouldn't need my hands either. 69 00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,921 [chuckling] 70 00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:46,924 Can go eat lunch or something. You know, go about my business. 71 00:02:47,011 --> 00:02:48,404 You know? [chuckling] 72 00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:49,840 Maybe take up a new hobby, you know, 73 00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:52,364 like, um, like, um... 74 00:02:52,451 --> 00:02:53,844 uh, like spanking my-- oh, no, never mind. 75 00:02:53,931 --> 00:02:55,411 [chuckling] 76 00:02:55,498 --> 00:02:56,891 That was quite a ride, Beavis. 77 00:02:56,978 --> 00:02:58,414 [chuckling] 78 00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,546 I guess what I'm saying, though, is, like, um, 79 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:03,245 is I wish I could lie a lot and have a big schlong. 80 00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:04,986 That's all. [chuckling] 81 00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:08,728 That would rule. [chuckling] 82 00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:11,557 Uh, you know, they really should 83 00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:14,212 make a "Schlongnocchio" movie. [chuckling] 84 00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,561 'Cause then, like, Jimmy Cricket 85 00:03:15,648 --> 00:03:18,173 can get it on with Tinkerbell, and then Peter Pan 86 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,957 can grant him a real schlong, 87 00:03:20,044 --> 00:03:21,872 and they can all ride off on Dumbo. 88 00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:23,874 [chuckling] 89 00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:26,137 Beavis: [chuckling] 90 00:03:26,224 --> 00:03:28,009 Butt-Head: And then that cricket can be like, 91 00:03:28,096 --> 00:03:32,056 "Uh, hey, Tinkerbell, wanna see my seventh leg?" 92 00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:34,102 [chuckling] 93 00:03:34,189 --> 00:03:35,538 [chuckling] Yeah. 94 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,019 "Hey, Tinkerbell, hey, how'd you like to see 95 00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:40,499 something that always grows up? You know what I'm saying?" 96 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:43,024 [chuckling] 97 00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:45,113 ♪ If that bitch gets slick, I'll cut the bitch ♪ 98 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,377 Uh, okay, Beavis, I have an idea for a game. 99 00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:50,248 [chuckling] 100 00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:53,121 Every time she says, "bitch," I get to smack you. 101 00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:54,731 [chuckling] - No way! 102 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,516 Why would I do that? [chuckling] 103 00:03:57,603 --> 00:03:59,649 Butt-Head: Uh, okay, how about this? 104 00:03:59,736 --> 00:04:02,260 Every time she says "butt," you can smack me. 105 00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:04,567 Uh, okay, yeah, I mean, 106 00:04:04,654 --> 00:04:06,482 she is the queen of butts. [chuckling] 107 00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:07,962 Your funeral. [chuckling] 108 00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:12,053 Now let the games begin. [chuckling] 109 00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:13,315 ♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪ 110 00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:14,969 ♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪ 111 00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,535 ♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪ - Ah! Wait, I-- 112 00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:17,667 Ah! Okay, okay. - ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪ 113 00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,060 I can't hear when you're smacking me! 114 00:04:19,147 --> 00:04:20,452 Ah! Wait, I think-- 115 00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:21,453 - [grunts] - Hold on! 116 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,455 Why did I-- ah, ah, ow! 117 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,588 I can--ah! Hey! 118 00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,024 - ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪ - [screams] 119 00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:28,373 ♪ Get the combination to the safe ♪ 120 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:29,853 ♪ And drug the bitch ♪ - I win. 121 00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,987 [chuckling] - Ah, ah! 122 00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:34,684 Damn it. [chuckling] 123 00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,381 I did not think she would say "bitch" so much 124 00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:38,035 when I agree-- ah! 125 00:04:38,122 --> 00:04:40,559 Wait, Butt-Head, you can't smack me when I say it! 126 00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,997 Son of a bitch. Oh, wait, don't--ah! 127 00:04:43,084 --> 00:04:44,259 [chuckling] 128 00:04:44,346 --> 00:04:45,564 Damn it, this game sucks. 129 00:04:48,524 --> 00:04:51,919 Uh, damn it, we're out of eggs. 130 00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,355 Where are we gonna get more eggs 131 00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:55,792 to throw at this dumbass house? [chuckling] 132 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,620 Uh... 133 00:04:57,707 --> 00:04:59,404 [doorbell rings] 134 00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,103 Well, hello. 135 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,801 Uh, hello. 136 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,629 We, like, need some eggs. 137 00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,848 Yeah, a lot of 'em. Please, yeah. 138 00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,025 Eggs? Of course. 139 00:05:11,112 --> 00:05:13,549 Happy to help. - [chuckles] 140 00:05:13,636 --> 00:05:15,116 Reminds me of the old days when a neighbor 141 00:05:15,203 --> 00:05:16,813 would ask for a cup of sugar. 142 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,077 Um, okay. Give us a cup of sugar too. 143 00:05:20,164 --> 00:05:21,035 - Yeah. - [chuckling] 144 00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:23,080 Sure, no problem. 145 00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,213 So what grade are you boys in? 146 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,564 Uh, we don't know. [chuckling] 147 00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:30,435 I know what you mean. 148 00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:32,655 It all goes by so fast, doesn't it? 149 00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:35,397 Uh, no? 150 00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:37,790 Nope. [chuckling] 151 00:05:37,877 --> 00:05:41,011 There you go, boys. Enjoy. 152 00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:43,579 Bye, boys. You come back anytime now. 153 00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,146 Nah. [chuckling] 154 00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:50,455 - Oh, yeah. - [chuckling] 155 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:54,242 That sugar really hit the spot. - Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah. 156 00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:56,157 You know, they should put this in food and stuff. 157 00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:57,767 Yeah. - Yeah, I wish. 158 00:05:57,854 --> 00:05:59,029 [chuckling] 159 00:05:59,116 --> 00:06:00,900 Now let's go egg those buttholes. 160 00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,163 Yeah! [chuckling] 161 00:06:03,816 --> 00:06:05,644 Okay, let's kick 'em this time. 162 00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,038 Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks. [chuckling] 163 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,259 [both grunting] 164 00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,654 Damn eggs. Ugh! 165 00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,830 Ah! 166 00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:21,138 Uh, did we get any eggs on the house? 167 00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,401 I think so. Um... 168 00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:26,752 eh, no, I don't think so. [chuckling] 169 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,363 Damn it. [chuckling] 170 00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:30,669 All right, Beavis, I have another idea. 171 00:06:30,756 --> 00:06:32,932 Now follow me. [chuckling] 172 00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,065 Um, what is it? 173 00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:37,502 Uh, I don't know. 174 00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:45,162 Okay, Beavis, we're gonna toilet paper their house. 175 00:06:45,249 --> 00:06:46,729 Yeah, yeah, because they suck. 176 00:06:46,816 --> 00:06:49,253 [chuckling] 177 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:53,040 This'll teach them a lesson. Okay, here we go, Beavis. 178 00:06:53,127 --> 00:06:54,911 [chuckling] [grunts] 179 00:07:00,134 --> 00:07:01,483 Yes! 180 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:04,181 They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah. 181 00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:06,009 No, they're not, dumbass. 182 00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,272 The toilet paper went down the sewer. 183 00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:11,275 Oh, yeah, yeah, so it did, yeah. 184 00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:12,407 Damn it. 185 00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:14,365 Now we gotta get more toilet paper. 186 00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:15,801 Where? 187 00:07:15,888 --> 00:07:18,282 [doorbell rings] 188 00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:20,067 Hello. 189 00:07:20,154 --> 00:07:22,634 Uh, we need toilet paper. 190 00:07:22,721 --> 00:07:24,332 [both chuckling] 191 00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,551 Sure, boys, always happy to help a neighbor. 192 00:07:26,638 --> 00:07:30,120 Um, and we need a lot because I poop too much. 193 00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,557 He sure does. [chuckling] 194 00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:35,212 You know, all that talk of eggs and sugar last time 195 00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:38,607 put me in the mood for baking, and I made some cookies. 196 00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:40,087 Whoa. 197 00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,874 Well, they sure appreciate your baking, honey. 198 00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:47,050 Put more sugar in next time. 199 00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,747 Yeah, yeah, have you heard of that stuff? 200 00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,141 Really good, yeah. 201 00:07:51,228 --> 00:07:52,664 - Toilet paper. - Yes! 202 00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:54,144 Yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 203 00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,754 It's about time. [chuckling] 204 00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:57,974 Such good boys. 205 00:07:59,584 --> 00:08:02,152 [both chuckling] 206 00:08:07,462 --> 00:08:10,813 We did it, Butt-Head! We did it, yeah! 207 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,424 Let me guess. You guys did that? 208 00:08:13,511 --> 00:08:16,297 - Yeah, we sure did. - Yeah, it's toilet paper. 209 00:08:16,384 --> 00:08:17,602 [chuckling] 210 00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:19,735 Real smart to TP a house 211 00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,346 when there's a nationwide toilet paper shortage going on. 212 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,524 Um, what? [chuckling] 213 00:08:26,611 --> 00:08:28,526 There's no toilet paper in the stores right now 214 00:08:28,613 --> 00:08:31,225 because of the supply chain, genius. 215 00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:33,009 It's called following the news? 216 00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:40,756 Eh, this sucks. [chuckling] 217 00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,193 Wait a minute, Beavis, I just thought of something. 218 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,108 If we get our toilet paper back, 219 00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:47,284 we can sell it and, like, be rich. 220 00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:49,243 Whoa! 221 00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:52,420 - Damn it. - [grunting] 222 00:08:53,943 --> 00:08:55,205 [doorbell rings] 223 00:08:57,251 --> 00:09:00,689 Uh, we got toilet paper. 224 00:09:00,776 --> 00:09:03,387 Yeah, yeah, check it out. Yeah, it's good stuff. 225 00:09:03,474 --> 00:09:04,997 [chuckling] 226 00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,303 You can use it on your butt, you know, 227 00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:08,697 or blow your nose or something. 228 00:09:08,784 --> 00:09:10,612 Wow. 229 00:09:10,699 --> 00:09:12,875 For you boys to clean up after some bad kids 230 00:09:12,962 --> 00:09:17,009 threw toilet paper on our home, it's wonderful. 231 00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,229 Thank you. - Yes. 232 00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:20,752 This is the nicest thing anyone's done for us 233 00:09:20,839 --> 00:09:21,971 in a long while. 234 00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:24,800 Uh, what? 235 00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:27,324 Diane and I were never able to have children 236 00:09:27,411 --> 00:09:31,633 of our own, but if we had, we'd sure like to think 237 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,156 they'd be something like you. 238 00:09:34,723 --> 00:09:36,681 Do you want the toilet paper or not? 239 00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:39,641 Yeah, it's, like, brand-new or something. 240 00:09:39,728 --> 00:09:41,991 Yeah, nobody wiped their butt on it, 241 00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,123 not even once. [chuckling] 242 00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:46,169 We'll throw this out for you. 243 00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:49,259 Thank you. Thanks again. 244 00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:52,262 - Ugh, damn it. - That sucks. 245 00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:53,785 They just stole our toilet paper. 246 00:09:53,872 --> 00:09:55,613 [chuckling] 247 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,050 Well, I did wipe my butt on some of it, you know, 248 00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,878 if I'm gonna be honest. [chuckling] 249 00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:02,533 We should, like, smear shaving cream everywhere 250 00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,188 to prank those buttholes. - Yeah, good idea. 251 00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,408 Yeah. [chuckling] 252 00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:10,411 Um, where do we get shaving cream though? 253 00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:12,804 Uh, I know. 254 00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:14,415 [chuckling] 255 00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,547 Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckling] 256 00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:17,722 [both chuckling] 257 00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:18,941 [doorbell rings] - This is gonna be cool. 258 00:10:19,028 --> 00:10:20,856 [both chuckling] 259 00:10:23,728 --> 00:10:26,601 [rock music] 260 00:10:26,688 --> 00:10:33,260 ♪ ♪ 261 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,278 Chirp.