1
00:00:12,988 --> 00:00:15,425
This is gonna be cool.

2
00:00:15,512 --> 00:00:18,994
We're gonna egg a house.

3
00:00:19,081 --> 00:00:20,604
Yeah, it's gonna be cool.

4
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,214
Yeah.

5
00:00:22,301 --> 00:00:24,913
But, um, like,
which house should we egg?

6
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,352
Uh, not this one.

7
00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:32,660
Whoever lives here is cool.

8
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:38,100
Yeah, not this one either.
These guys kick ass.

9
00:00:38,187 --> 00:00:39,536
They sure do, Beavis.

10
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:46,369
Whoa, now,
whoever lives here sucks.

11
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,328
Beavis, I think
we have a winner.

12
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:52,201
Yeah, yeah,
let's egg it, yeah.

13
00:00:52,288 --> 00:00:54,725
Okay, Beavis,
when I count to three,

14
00:00:54,812 --> 00:00:57,206
let's throw these eggs.

15
00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:59,512
Uh, go.

16
00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,866
Yeah.

17
00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:09,435
Damn it.

18
00:01:11,786 --> 00:01:13,352
Ugh, damn it!

19
00:01:15,572 --> 00:01:16,965
Ah!

20
00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:18,270
Beavis, you dumbass.

21
00:01:18,357 --> 00:01:20,142
You got in the way
of my perfect throw.

22
00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:24,842
I'll show you
how it's done, Beavis.

23
00:01:24,929 --> 00:01:27,279
Check this out.

24
00:01:29,325 --> 00:01:31,153
Ah!

25
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,503
Damn it.
Throwing sucks.

26
00:01:39,988 --> 00:01:42,686
<i>♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪</i>

27
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:44,340
<i>Butt-Head: Uh, I think</i>

28
00:01:44,427 --> 00:01:45,994
<i>she's supposed to be,
like, Pinocchio,</i>

29
00:01:46,081 --> 00:01:48,648
<i>but when she lies,
her butt grows bigger.</i>

30
00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:51,869
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>

31
00:01:51,956 --> 00:01:54,437
She been doing a whole lot
of lying.

32
00:01:54,524 --> 00:01:57,005
You know what I'm saying?

33
00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:00,095
I wish, when I lied,

34
00:02:00,182 --> 00:02:02,053
my schlong would grow bigger
'cause then I'd be like,

35
00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:04,273
"Hey, baby."

36
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,710
"I have a gigantic schlong."

37
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,974
And I'd be lying, but then
my schlong would get bigger

38
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:12,020
because I'm lying, see?

39
00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:13,630
And then it would be true, though,

40
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,328
so, um, I don't know
if it shrinks again or--

41
00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:17,808
<i>I don't know how that works,
you know?</i>

42
00:02:17,895 --> 00:02:20,071
<i>I don't know what
the Pinocchio rules are.</i>

43
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,421
<i>You know?</i>

44
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:24,206
Yeah, maybe it would just,
like, start growing

45
00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:25,903
and shrinking back and forth,
you know, like,

46
00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:28,253
'cause, um, 'cause it grows,
and then I'm not lying,

47
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:29,777
and then it shrinks
since I'm lying,

48
00:02:29,864 --> 00:02:31,648
and then, you know,
it just goes back and forth.

49
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,955
It's kind of going "boing,
oing, boing, boing, boing."

50
00:02:35,478 --> 00:02:37,045
And then I wouldn't even
need the chick, you know?

51
00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:39,134
I could just have my schlong
do all the work, you know?

52
00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,006
<i>And I wouldn't need
my hands either.</i>

53
00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:46,924
Can go eat lunch or something.
You know, go about my business.

54
00:02:47,011 --> 00:02:48,404
You know?

55
00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:49,840
<i>Maybe take up a new hobby,
you know,</i>

56
00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:52,364
like, um, like, um...

57
00:02:52,451 --> 00:02:53,844
uh, like spanking my--
oh, no, never mind.

58
00:02:55,498 --> 00:02:56,891
That was
quite a ride, Beavis.

59
00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,546
I guess what I'm saying,
though, is, like, um,

60
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:03,245
is I wish I could lie a lot
and have a big schlong.

61
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:04,986
That's all.

62
00:03:05,073 --> 00:03:08,728
That would rule.

63
00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:11,557
<i>Uh, you know,
they really should</i>

64
00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:14,212
<i>make a "Schlongnocchio" movie.</i>

65
00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,561
'Cause then, like,
Jimmy Cricket

66
00:03:15,648 --> 00:03:18,173
can get it on with Tinkerbell,
and then Peter Pan

67
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,957
can grant him a real schlong,

68
00:03:20,044 --> 00:03:21,872
and they can all ride off
on Dumbo.

69
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:26,137
<i>[chuckling]</i>

70
00:03:26,224 --> 00:03:28,009
<i>Butt-Head: And then
that cricket can be like,</i>

71
00:03:28,096 --> 00:03:32,056
<i>"Uh, hey, Tinkerbell,
wanna see my seventh leg?"</i>

72
00:03:34,189 --> 00:03:35,538
Yeah.

73
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,019
"Hey, Tinkerbell, hey,
how'd you like to see

74
00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:40,499
something that always grows up?
You know what I'm saying?"

75
00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:45,113
<i>♪ If that bitch gets slick,
I'll cut the bitch ♪</i>

76
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,377
Uh, okay, Beavis,
I have an idea for a game.

77
00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:53,121
Every time she says, "bitch,"
I get to smack you.

78
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:54,731
No way!

79
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,516
Why would I do that?

80
00:03:57,603 --> 00:03:59,649
<i>Butt-Head:
Uh, okay, how about this?</i>

81
00:03:59,736 --> 00:04:02,260
<i>Every time she says "butt,"
you can smack me.</i>

82
00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:04,567
Uh, okay, yeah, I mean,

83
00:04:04,654 --> 00:04:06,482
she is the queen of butts.

84
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:07,962
Your funeral.

85
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:12,053
Now let the games begin.

86
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:13,315
<i>♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪</i>

87
00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:14,969
♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪

88
00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,535
<i>♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪</i>
- Ah! Wait, I--

89
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:17,667
Ah! Okay, okay.
<i>- ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪</i>

90
00:04:17,754 --> 00:04:19,060
<i>I can't hear
when you're smacking me!</i>

91
00:04:19,147 --> 00:04:20,452
<i>Ah!
Wait, I think--</i>

92
00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:21,453
Hold on!

93
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,455
Why did I--
ah, ah, ow!

94
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,588
I can--ah!
Hey!

95
00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,024
<i>♪ Cut up the bitch ♪</i>

96
00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:28,373
<i>♪ Get the combination
to the safe ♪</i>

97
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:29,853
<i>♪ And drug the bitch ♪</i>
- I win.

98
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:32,987
Ah, ah!

99
00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:34,684
<i>Damn it.</i>

100
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,381
I did not think she
would say "bitch" so much

101
00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:38,035
when I agree--
ah!

102
00:04:38,122 --> 00:04:40,559
Wait, Butt-Head, you can't
smack me when I say it!

103
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,997
<i>Son of a bitch.
Oh, wait, don't--ah!</i>

104
00:04:44,346 --> 00:04:45,564
<i>Damn it, this game sucks.</i>

105
00:04:48,524 --> 00:04:51,919
Uh, damn it,
we're out of eggs.

106
00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,355
Where are we gonna get
more eggs

107
00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:55,792
to throw at this dumbass house?

108
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,620
Uh...

109
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,103
Well, hello.

110
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,801
Uh, hello.

111
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,629
We, like, need some eggs.

112
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,848
Yeah, a lot of 'em.
Please, yeah.

113
00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,025
Eggs?
Of course.

114
00:05:11,112 --> 00:05:13,549
Happy to help.

115
00:05:13,636 --> 00:05:15,116
Reminds me of the old days
when a neighbor

116
00:05:15,203 --> 00:05:16,813
would ask for a cup of sugar.

117
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,077
Um, okay.
Give us a cup of sugar too.

118
00:05:20,164 --> 00:05:21,035
Yeah.

119
00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:23,080
Sure, no problem.

120
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,213
So what grade
are you boys in?

121
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,564
Uh, we don't know.

122
00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:30,435
I know what you mean.

123
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:32,655
It all goes by so fast,
doesn't it?

124
00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:35,397
Uh, no?

125
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:37,790
Nope.

126
00:05:37,877 --> 00:05:41,011
There you go, boys. Enjoy.

127
00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:43,579
Bye, boys.
You come back anytime now.

128
00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,146
Nah.

129
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:50,455
Oh, yeah.

130
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:54,242
That sugar really hit the spot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah.

131
00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:56,157
You know, they should put this
in food and stuff.

132
00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:57,767
Yeah.
- Yeah, I wish.

133
00:05:59,116 --> 00:06:00,900
Now let's go egg
those buttholes.

134
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,163
Yeah!

135
00:06:03,816 --> 00:06:05,644
Okay, let's kick 'em
this time.

136
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,038
Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks.

137
00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,654
Damn eggs.
Ugh!

138
00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,830
Ah!

139
00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:21,138
Uh, did we get any eggs
on the house?

140
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,401
I think so. Um...

141
00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:26,752
eh, no, I don't think so.

142
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,363
Damn it.

143
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:30,669
All right, Beavis,
I have another idea.

144
00:06:30,756 --> 00:06:32,932
Now follow me.

145
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,065
Um, what is it?

146
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:37,502
Uh, I don't know.

147
00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:45,162
Okay, Beavis, we're gonna
toilet paper their house.

148
00:06:45,249 --> 00:06:46,729
Yeah, yeah,
because they suck.

149
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:53,040
This'll teach them a lesson.
Okay, here we go, Beavis.

150
00:07:00,134 --> 00:07:01,483
Yes!

151
00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:04,181
They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah.

152
00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:06,009
No, they're not, dumbass.

153
00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,272
The toilet paper
went down the sewer.

154
00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:11,275
Oh, yeah, yeah,
so it did, yeah.

155
00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:12,407
Damn it.

156
00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:14,365
Now we gotta get
more toilet paper.

157
00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:15,801
Where?

158
00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:20,067
Hello.

159
00:07:20,154 --> 00:07:22,634
Uh, we need toilet paper.

160
00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,551
Sure, boys, always happy
to help a neighbor.

161
00:07:26,638 --> 00:07:30,120
Um, and we need a lot
because I poop too much.

162
00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,557
He sure does.

163
00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:35,212
You know, all that talk
of eggs and sugar last time

164
00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:38,607
put me in the mood for baking,
and I made some cookies.

165
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:40,087
Whoa.

166
00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,874
Well, they sure appreciate
your baking, honey.

167
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:47,050
Put more sugar in next time.

168
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,747
Yeah, yeah, have you heard
of that stuff?

169
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,141
Really good, yeah.

170
00:07:51,228 --> 00:07:52,664
- Toilet paper.
- Yes!

171
00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:54,144
Yeah, yeah.

172
00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,754
It's about time.

173
00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:57,974
Such good boys.

174
00:08:07,462 --> 00:08:10,813
We did it, Butt-Head!
We did it, yeah!

175
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,424
Let me guess.
You guys did that?

176
00:08:13,511 --> 00:08:16,297
- Yeah, we sure did.
- Yeah, it's toilet paper.

177
00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:19,735
Real smart to TP a house

178
00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,346
when there's a nationwide
toilet paper shortage going on.

179
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,524
Um, what?

180
00:08:26,611 --> 00:08:28,526
There's no toilet paper
in the stores right now

181
00:08:28,613 --> 00:08:31,225
because of the supply chain, genius.

182
00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:33,009
It's called following the news?

183
00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:40,756
Eh, this sucks.

184
00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,193
Wait a minute, Beavis,
I just thought of something.

185
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,108
If we get
our toilet paper back,

186
00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:47,284
we can sell it
and, like, be rich.

187
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:49,243
Whoa!

188
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:52,420
Damn it.

189
00:08:57,251 --> 00:09:00,689
Uh, we got toilet paper.

190
00:09:00,776 --> 00:09:03,387
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah, it's good stuff.

191
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,303
You can use it on your butt,
you know,

192
00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:08,697
or blow your nose or something.

193
00:09:08,784 --> 00:09:10,612
Wow.

194
00:09:10,699 --> 00:09:12,875
For you boys to clean up
after some bad kids

195
00:09:12,962 --> 00:09:17,009
threw toilet paper on our home,
it's wonderful.

196
00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,229
Thank you.
- Yes.

197
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:20,752
This is the nicest thing
anyone's done for us

198
00:09:20,839 --> 00:09:21,971
in a long while.

199
00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:24,800
Uh, what?

200
00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:27,324
Diane and I were never able
to have children

201
00:09:27,411 --> 00:09:31,633
of our own, but if we had,
we'd sure like to think

202
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,156
they'd be something like you.

203
00:09:34,723 --> 00:09:36,681
Do you want the toilet paper
or not?

204
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:39,641
Yeah, it's, like,
brand-new or something.

205
00:09:39,728 --> 00:09:41,991
Yeah, nobody wiped
their butt on it,

206
00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,123
not even once.

207
00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:46,169
We'll throw this out for you.

208
00:09:46,256 --> 00:09:49,259
Thank you.
Thanks again.

209
00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:52,262
- Ugh, damn it.
- That sucks.

210
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:53,785
They just stole
our toilet paper.

211
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,050
Well, I did wipe my butt
on some of it, you know,

212
00:09:58,137 --> 00:09:59,878
if I'm gonna be honest.

213
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:02,533
We should, like,
smear shaving cream everywhere

214
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,188
to prank those buttholes.
- Yeah, good idea.

215
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,408
Yeah.

216
00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:10,411
Um, where do we get
shaving cream though?

217
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:12,804
Uh, I know.

218
00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,547
Oh, yeah, yeah.

219
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:18,941
This is gonna be cool.

220
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,278
Chirp.