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♪ MTV ♪
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[both chuckling]
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[rock music]
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♪ ♪
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[eerie music]
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♪ ♪
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Hail, dimwitted Earthlings.
I am smart Butt-Head.
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And I am the one
men call Smart Beavis.
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Long have we observed
the parallel universe
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where Beavis and Butt-Head
got older
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and are now in middle age.
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Oh, the marvels we have seen,
the wisdom we have learned.
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All of it far beyond
the comprehension
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of your feeble human minds.
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Nonetheless,
we shall now reveal to you
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but one of these marvels
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on the planet
imbeciles call Earth.
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Smart Beavis,
where is the steering wheel
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on this comet?
- I do not know.
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We shall have to steer it
with the power of our minds.
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Very well.
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[both humming]
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[screams]
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♪ ♪
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You know
what we should do, Beavis?
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Let's get some beers
and have a party.
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[chuckling]
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Yeah, but, um,
we did that last weekend,
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and we drank all the beers,
and no chicks showed up.
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[chuckling]
- That party was cool.
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[chuckling]
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Yeah, it was.
[chuckling]
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Party down.
[chuckling]
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Howdy there, neighbors.
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You got time to sign a petition
to keep Highland beautiful?
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Uh, what?
[chuckling]
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I'm collecting signatures
to get rid
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of that ugly low-income housing
out on the main road.
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Um, what's housing?
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In this case, it's an eyesore
that needs to go.
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Let me show you.
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Uh, yeah, that place sucks.
[chuckling]
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Yeah, it sure does.
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What kind of buttholes
live in that dump?
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[chuckling]
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I mean, seriously.
[chuckling]
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My company wants
to put in a new condo
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with ground level retail,
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but we have to demolish
this one first.
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Yeah, demolishing is cool.
[chuckling]
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It sure is.
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The city council's
going to discuss this tonight.
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I hope I see you there
to support the demolition.
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Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
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I got a sledgehammer.
Should I bring that?
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[chuckling]
- Uh, yeah, we'll go to that.
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Can you buy us some beer?
[chuckling]
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How about I buy you a beer
after you go to the meeting?
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Oh, that sounds good.
[chuckling]
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We're being bribed.
[chuckling]
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[soft music]
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♪ ♪
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Beavis: Being a janitor
would kick ass
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'cause, like, you just, like,
listen to music all night,
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and then you can just,
like, spank your monkey
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wherever you want,
and then you can clean it up,
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you know, cause you already
have the mop, see.
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[chuckling]
Butt-Head: Yeah.
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It is the perfect crime.
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♪ ♪
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It was the Native Americans who
first invented the fist pump.
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[chuckling]
Beavis: Whoa.
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What's his other hand doing?
[chuckling]
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Butt-Head:
He's doing a different kind
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of fist pump down there.
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[chuckling]
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Beavis: Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
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Yeah, there's something else
dancing down there
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about the same size.
[chuckling]
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He's masturbating.
[chuckling]
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Beavis: [chuckling]
Yeah, he sure is.
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He's not shy about it either.
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Yeah.
[chuckling]
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Nothing wrong with that.
[chuckling]
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Beavis: Yeah, I mean,
I don't really want to see it,
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but, you know, I mean,
no one wants to see me
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do it either, you know, so,
you know,
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so go for it, you know?
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Oh, look.
[chuckling]
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Tiesto's spanking
his monkey too.
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[chuckling]
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Tiesto.
[chuckling]
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Beavis: Yeah, you know,
if you can't masturbate
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to your own music, you know,
what's the point?
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[chuckling]
Butt-Head: Yeah.
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[chuckling]
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Uh, I think this guy's, like,
not even a janitor at all.
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[chuckling]
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Yeah, he's just
a really considerate
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masturbater, you know?
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He's like...
[chuckling]
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You know, he brings a mop
with him, you know,
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and a bucket, you know?
[chuckling]
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Butt-Head: Yeah, at the front
of the museum,
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they were like, "Sir,
you're gonna have to leave
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that mop and bucket outside."
[chuckling]
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And then he's like, "Uh, no,
you're gonna thank me."
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[chuckling]
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You're gonna be glad I did,
believe me.
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[chuckling]
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Butt-Head: Uh, well, time
for him to go get the mop.
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[chuckling]
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Beavis: Yeah.
[chuckling]
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I think I might get me
one of those, you know?
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[chuckling]
Mop.
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[chuckling]
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[both chuckling]
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Boys, you made it.
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Uh, where's
the demolition crew?
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And who are those buttholes?
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- Community.
- [chuckling]
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It's proven to keep an eye...
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man: They're the people
who think they run this city.
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[chuckling]
Running sucks.
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Yeah, really.
[chuckling]
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Now, the meeting's
about to wrap up here,
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and then any member
of the public is allowed
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to speak for four minutes,
and that's when you can talk
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about protecting
our neighborhood
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from low-income housing.
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That concludes new business.
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The floor is now open
to public comment.
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First on the list
is Mr. Beavis.
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You're up.
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Um, I'm Beavis, Your Honor,
and I just wanna say
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I'm in favored of destroying
this building that sucks.
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[chuckling]
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Uh, amen or something.
[chuckling]
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You've got 3 minutes
and 50 seconds left.
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Oh, okay,
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um, also,
when you destroy it,
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I think you should burn it.
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Yeah, you know, with fire,
you know,
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and then you'll see
how cool it is.
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Yeah, yeah, with fire.
Yeah, and destroying it.
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And then it'll be so cool,
we'll go destroy
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more buildings with fire, and
then we'll destroy everything!
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- Yeah.
- We will just burn...
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And then destroy trees
and rocks and the schools!
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Yeah, yeah, the schools!
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They could throw rocks
at the schools,
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and I just want to say
I think it's wrong
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for children
to ever have to go to school
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because the children
are our future, and, um--
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and in conclusion, uh,
let's destroy this building
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with fire and bombs, yeah!
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Looks like my time is up.
Thank you very much.
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[chuckling]
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Thank you, Mr. Beavis.
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Next is Mr. Buff-Head.
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Please use
your real names, people.
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You have four minutes.
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Uh, I yield my time
to Mr. Beavis.
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And then destroy the sky
and the land!
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Destroy it all with fire!
[chuckling]
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And then destroy
the fire with fire
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and more fire!
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Here's your beer money, boys.
You earned it.
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You really spoke
from the heart, Beavis.
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Well, you know, I just like
destroying stuff.
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That's all, you know.
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He's a big fan of fire.
[chuckling]
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Yep, always have been,
always will be.
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Great news,
the council just voted
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five to four to condemn
that building.
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Six months from now,
those apartments
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will be a pile of rubble.
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- Yes!
- Yes, yeah!
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[both chuckling]
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TV announcer: Tired of hoping
that the right candidates...
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[door clicks]
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There's another one
of those things
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on our door, Butt-Head.
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Butt-Head: They can tape up
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as many of these things
as they want,
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but they can't
make me read 'em.
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[chuckling]
Outsmarted 'em again.
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We sure did, Beavis.
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Well, let's celebrate.
- Yep.
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[chuckling]
Yep, party time.
191
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Let's go get some beers.
[chuckling]
192
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[hammers thudding,
tools grinding]
193
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How come it's so loud today?
[chuckling]
194
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Yeah, sure is a lot
of police tape too.
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Something cool
must have happened.
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We always miss it.
[chuckling]
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What's happening
over there, Butt-Head?
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Uh, I think they're wrecking
199
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that place that sucks that we
talked to the president about.
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Those buttholes
that live there
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are gonna get
what they deserve.
202
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[chuckling]
203
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[building crashing]
204
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,880
- This is cool.
- Yeah, yeah, wreck it!
205
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Wreck it!
Destroy!
206
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,276
[chuckling]
207
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,800
Yeah!
- [chuckling]
208
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:02,411
- There you go, yeah!
- [chuckling]
209
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,108
That's it, yeah!
210
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,849
Yeah, kick it!
Yeah!
211
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,809
[both coughing]
212
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,510
[both chuckling]
213
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,818
- Yeah.
- That was cool.
214
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:20,734
Sure was, yeah.
215
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,474
It feels good
that we got involved
216
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,476
in our community,
and it paid off.
217
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You know what I'm saying?
218
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,264
And now it's party time.
[chuckling]
219
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,918
Let's go home.
[chuckling]
220
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,354
Yep.
[chuckling]
221
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,443
Time to kick back.
[chuckling]
222
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:41,668
Uh, wait a second,
where's our apartment again?
223
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,279
[chuckling]
- Um...
224
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,107
I think it's
around here somewhere.
225
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:50,241
It was right next to the, um,
the thing with the, um...
226
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,374
hm, hm.
227
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:56,770
Uh, I don't see it.
[chuckling]
228
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,860
Well, it's a puzzle.
[chuckling]
229
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,906
This one's a real thinker. Yeah.
230
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:06,997
Uh, I'm tired.
[grunts]
231
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:10,740
Let's find our apartment later.
[chuckling]
232
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,961
Yeah.
Well, it's not going anywhere.
233
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:18,095
We can just party right here.
- Yeah.
234
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,271
I hope some chicks show up
this time.
235
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,752
[chuckling]
236
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:26,408
[rock music]