1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,380
[sighs, kisses]
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,216
- Hi, handsome. How are you?
- [groans]
3
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,509
Good. You?
4
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,593
Hey, sexy.
5
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,137
- Oh, I spent the night.
- You did.
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,514
- We gotta do less of these sleepovers.
- Why?
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,810
Because it makes us think that
we're boyfriends again. And that means...
8
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,729
[Malcolm]
It's a sleepover. It's fine, baby.
9
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:24,023
Don't call me "baby."
Call me Evan. I'm Evan...
10
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:27,485
You're not just Evan to me.
You're baby. You're my baby.
11
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:30,155
If we just let ourselves float back
into being boyfriends...
12
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,906
- Where is the hole?
- It's there. Put your arm in.
13
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,325
...then we're gonna be boyfriends again,
and guess what's gonna happen?
14
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:35,785
We're gonna have to break up again.
15
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:36,870
- You're good.
- Thank you.
16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,915
You're not gonna be able to find
a real relationship if we keep doing this.
17
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:44,043
I can't just be complacent in my own life.
18
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,503
Shut up. Rude.
19
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,590
Being with me is the only exciting part
of your life. Remember that.
20
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,842
You are very interesting.
21
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,511
Do you have a clean toothbrush?
I don't wanna use yours again.
22
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,514
Baby, I literally spat in your mouth
last night. You remember?
23
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,891
It's different bacteria.
24
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,185
[chuckling] You remember.
25
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,312
Don't go. Let me give you head.
26
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,396
[Evan] I have to go.
27
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,775
Wait, kiss. Hello?
I love being your boyfriend.
28
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,234
[Evan] Okay, bye.
29
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,319
["Kyrie" playing]
30
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,655
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
That I must travel ♪
31
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,867
{\an8}♪ Kyrie eleison on... ♪
32
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,913
{\an8}Siri, text Malcolm,
"No, I don't have your Apple Watch.
33
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,290
{\an8}I don't know when
you would've even left that at my place.
34
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,209
I'm always at your place, honestly."
35
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:28,296
[gunshots firing]
36
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,806
What? Mr. Marquez, no. What the fuck, bro?
37
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,600
- Yo, what? Chill, queen.
- What?
38
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,311
[whispering]
Put your phones on silent. Get down.
39
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:45,146
Is this gay panic?
40
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,398
[Evan] Lay flat. Lay flat.
41
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:51,236
Lay flat. What are you doing?
What are you doing?
42
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,905
Mr. Marquez, it's not a shooting.
43
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:54,989
It's gun club.
44
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,491
[panting]
45
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,117
- What?
- [Jeff] Chill the eff out.
46
00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,202
[whispers] Gun club?
47
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,038
Yeah, Coach Hillridge
started that shit back up.
48
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,837
Why is... Why is there a gun club?
49
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,466
To shoot guns?
50
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,971
[Becca] You should change that shirt.
51
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,431
I have a crop top in my locker.
Do you want it?
52
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,308
["Kyrie" resumes playing]
53
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:26,104
♪ My heart is old
It holds my memories ♪
54
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,316
♪ My body burns a gem-like flame ♪
55
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,401
Fire!
56
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,194
Fire!
57
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,239
Fire! Barrels down.
58
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,742
♪ Is where I find myself ♪
59
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,160
- [gunshot]
- [song cuts out]
60
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,663
We have to talk about the list.
Have you seen the list?
61
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,040
No. But whatever that is,
I have something way more important.
62
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,750
Gwen, I thought
I was gonna die this morning.
63
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,003
Is it the tonsil? It's getting bigger.
64
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,214
I'm sorry. Let me look. Let me see.
65
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,507
No. It's not that.
66
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,092
Gun... I heard gunshots.
67
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,343
- [Gwen] Oh. Wait.
- Markie.
68
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,554
He shot people?
He's shooting people? He's hunting people?
69
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,638
- No.
- [Grant] Evan, Gwen. Please,
70
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,724
with the distractions.
I'm low blood sugar right now.
71
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,475
- Do you need an apple? Yeah?
- Psst.
72
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,769
- Ev. Do you need a shirt?
- [Grant] Trust exercises between teachers...
73
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:07,896
I got some at home.
74
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,981
I have shirts at home too.
75
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,316
[laughs]
76
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,902
Okay. So if you have
any more ideas to contribute,
77
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,655
just talk to Lacey by 4:00 p.m. on Friday
or forever hold your peace.
78
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:21,659
And that is the last item
on my godforsaken agenda.
79
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,162
Okay. Anything else? No?
Thank you. Great. All right.
80
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,496
- Hi. Hello.
- [Grant] Oh, no, Evan.
81
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,873
Please. We're already running late.
82
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,333
This morning I was involved in a shooting.
83
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,834
- What?
- [staff] What?
84
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,461
At least I thought
it was a shooting, okay?
85
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,379
It was actually Markie's new gun club.
86
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,214
[all groan]
87
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:38,134
My life flashed before my eyes.
88
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:42,305
To hear the sound of gunshots in
a school environment in this day and age--
89
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,765
You're gonna say triggered?
90
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,476
Thank you, Evan,
for expressing your feelings about this.
91
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:50,939
- We all understand. We all hear you.
- I thought I was gonna die at work.
92
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,482
Do you guys fucking get it?
93
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,609
People are being gunned down in America
94
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,818
- every day.
- Yes.
95
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,988
[Evan] And I thought it was gonna be
us today, okay? It felt so real.
96
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,492
We need to shut this gun club down.
97
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,786
Not happening, buddy. Seriously.
98
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,665
The firearms safety program, it was
shut down in the dark days of '99, okay?
99
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,917
I am not about to let it
get railroaded again.
100
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,795
Okay, fine. So, actually, we can just wait
for one of your little gun protégés
101
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,880
to walk through that door
with a semiautomatic--
102
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,757
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That is not how that goes.
103
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,176
Evan, Evan. It's a firearm safety program.
104
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,553
Safety. It's designed to protect, man.
105
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:25,932
It's all about teaching these kids
how to do the right thing
106
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,309
with these guns
that are already out there.
107
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,394
This is Texas.
108
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,271
I can't even believe other people
are okay with this. You all support this?
109
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:33,898
- [teacher 1] I don't know. Maybe.
- [teacher 2] No.
110
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,901
It's not a democracy. It doesn't matter
who's okay with it and who's not.
111
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:40,071
What matters is that it is legal,
and it's school board approved.
112
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,990
And that is the end of this conversation.
113
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,616
And for God's sakes,
change your fucking shirt.
114
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,285
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean
to use the F word. I'm so sorry.
115
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:48,538
Please, Gwen. Can I have
that apple now, please?
116
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,165
All right? Dismissed.
Go inspire young minds, please.
117
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,001
Oh, my God. I gotta go.
118
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,877
My mom and dad are getting back together.
119
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,504
- Marquez. Evan.
- What?
120
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,714
Are you serious in there, man?
121
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,216
Every time I try and do
something important at this school,
122
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,801
it's, like, you wanna get it shut down.
123
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,679
I can't even talk to you about this,
Markie. This is not a discussion.
124
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,889
This is not some cute thing
that you're doing wrong.
125
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:07,974
This is people's lives.
126
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,059
Well, hold on, man.
You're hot and bothered right now.
127
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,769
Where do the false equivalencies
end with you?
128
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,563
Where did you learn that expression?
129
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,648
I'm doing, like,
a Harvard extension online thing.
130
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,692
I am so impressed. I did UT online.
131
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,776
I am so in debt.
132
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,070
There's no false equivalency, Markie.
A gun is a gun.
133
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,156
You give a kid a gun,
you're giving a kid a gun.
134
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,158
Now everybody thinks
you're a piece of shit, so--
135
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,452
You are adorable when you're angry.
136
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,662
I am giving them an education.
I'm an educator. Okay?
137
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,165
Save this activist thing for Facebook.
138
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,667
Nobody's on Facebook, Markie.
How old are you? I'm shutting it down.
139
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,210
I'm... I'm your age.
140
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,378
No, you're not.
141
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,880
Can we talk about the list now?
142
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,340
There's a list online
of the hottest teachers ranked.
143
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,301
What? And what? You're number one?
144
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,427
- I'm 26.
- What?
145
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,928
- That's crazy. You're so hot.
- Yeah.
146
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,014
You must be reading it ba...
Maybe 26 is the highest.
147
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,475
No, I know. No.
But I'm not reading it wrong. I'm 26.
148
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,685
- It's insane. I'm going insane.
- Where'd you find this?
149
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,771
The student Discord.
Rick texted it to me. He's on there
150
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,939
- under a fake student name.
- He should not be doing that.
151
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,024
Anyway I'm shutting it down.
152
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,068
You're gonna shut it down
because you're low on the list?
153
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,737
No, f-- for feminist reasons.
This is terrible.
154
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,572
Not because you're number 26?
155
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,199
No. Why would I care about that?
156
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,409
How do you shut down a list
you're not supposed to know about?
157
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:10,870
- That's the question.
- Listen, this gun stuff, I'm serious.
158
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:14,040
Like, you, me, all these kids.
We could be dead right now.
159
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,958
Thirty-four years old. That would be it.
160
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,294
Yeah. I switched
to saying I'm 32 recently. But yeah.
161
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:20,671
I'm not just watching this stuff happen
on the news anymore. Okay?
162
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,633
I'm not gonna be a statistic.
I'm doing something about this.
163
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,178
Wow, that's good. You say that,
and I'm, like, I'm on your side.
164
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,807
I'm not gonna let you guys
become statistics.
165
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,266
I'm doing something about this.
166
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,477
Yeah, I'ma do something about this dick.
167
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,438
That's what you got out of that, Frank?
Come on, man.
168
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,108
I mean, it's a gun safety course,
Mr. Marquez.
169
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,902
You think shutting that down
is gonna do anything about gun violence?
170
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,403
It's the principle of it.
171
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:47,281
He's trying to take a stand.
172
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,658
[Evan] I am taking a stand, Jeff.
173
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:52,161
I'm taking a stand, okay?
I don't care if you guys get it.
174
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,287
Of course we get it.
175
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:56,624
We've been doing drills our entire lives.
We're used to it.
176
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,961
You shouldn't be used to it.
That is so depressing.
177
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,379
It's not that depressing.
178
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,172
Mr. Marquez, I'm with you.
I'm super anti-gun.
179
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,133
Hartman, we know you're anti-gun.
180
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,676
Your parents are, like, hippies.
181
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,302
They are, like, anti-electricity.
182
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:11,472
They're not anti-electricity,
they're pro-wind turbines.
183
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,683
Look, I get that you guys
have gotten used to this,
184
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,269
but you shouldn't be used to it, okay?
185
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,647
To me, if I grew up in this environment,
I would feel insane.
186
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:23,818
Like, you are probably having
levels of cortisol in your body
187
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,695
that you don't even realize are there.
188
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,155
What's cortisol?
189
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,739
There's really nothing we can do about it.
190
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:32,368
It's like a... It's like a shark attack.
It's like a force-of-nature kind of thing.
191
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:35,913
It's not a force of nature.
This is what I'm saying.
192
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,124
This is a completely preventable problem.
193
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,252
But it's not preventable if we can't get
the government to do anything about it.
194
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,920
The gun lobby's too powerful.
195
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,007
They killed my stepdad.
196
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,800
Oh, my God, Jeff. That's crazy.
197
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,719
This is the kind of stuff
I'm talking about.
198
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,888
I'm just playing with you.
But you know the vibes.
199
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,347
Jeff, you have trauma.
200
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:54,432
From being so cool.
201
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,558
[Tiffany] Who said you're cool?
202
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,687
I mean, safety-wise, there's that one door
that has metal detectors.
203
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,814
Becca, nobody goes through that door.
204
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,274
You can't bring metal through it.
205
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,318
No, you can go through it. It just beeps.
206
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,778
I don't know. I just feel like
when I was you guys' age,
207
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:11,032
like, if we wanted to change something,
we would do something about it.
208
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,242
We would speak truth to power. You know?
209
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,660
Like, about what?
210
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,372
Like, we would protest,
like, Bush getting reelected.
211
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,208
And we were trying to get Kerry in office.
212
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,292
[Jeff] Did it work?
213
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,211
[stammers, sighs]
214
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,504
Oh, my God.
I just thought of something. I'm a genius.
215
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:28,299
What if we did a protest?
216
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,676
But, like, to show
that we disagree with the gun club.
217
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,679
Right. Well, that is what I've been saying
this whole time. But yes, sure.
218
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,640
If we're gonna do a protest,
it needs to be inside
219
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,475
because my hair will get insane.
220
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:41,145
Oh. My cousin just did a--
a drunk-driving protest at her school.
221
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,231
We could try to do something like that.
222
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,733
But I wouldn't know how to organize that.
223
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,653
Why is it hard to organize? You guys
are on all these group chats, right?
224
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,947
I'm not in any group chats.
225
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,199
I'm a one-on-one guy.
226
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,023
Dude, is this
one of those drunk-driving things?
227
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,526
It's an
anti-getting-killed-by-guns protest.
228
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,070
The kids are making their voices heard.
I'm joining them.
229
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,490
That's good. I'm so anti-death,
so I'm, like, so on board.
230
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,909
Ghosts. Duality of life and death.
231
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,244
[stammers, speaks Spanish]
232
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,371
[in English]
It's an anti-gun-club protest.
233
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,622
Oh, it's not reading like that.
234
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,041
What is going on?
You look like Erin Brockovich.
235
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,418
I always look like this.
236
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,795
Lies. She's doing it because of the list.
237
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:51,132
No. But seriously,
who is making that list, right?
238
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,009
'Cause we know who's making the hot list.
239
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,969
Who makes it? Who is it?
240
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,304
Um, I don't know.
241
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,180
- Damn it.
- Nobody knows who makes the list.
242
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:04,145
- What the hell is this?
- Oh, God.
243
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,981
{\an8}Just a little protest. Yeah, that's right.
244
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,151
{\an8}Some of the kids in my program
heard about what y'all were up to
245
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,903
{\an8}and decided they wanted
to make their voices known too.
246
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:14,989
You're doing a protest?
What are you protesting?
247
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,283
Protesting y'all for bullying us.
248
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,451
- Bullying you?
- [laughs]
249
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,828
Yeah. Trying to bully us
out of having guns.
250
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,997
If we can't have guns,
then we can't protect ourselves.
251
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,583
Protect yourselves against what, Markie?
252
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168
People with guns.
253
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:30,755
You're saying if you can't protect
yourself from guns, then you're dead.
254
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,173
So guns are the problem.
255
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,509
If there were no guns, there would be
no problem. Are you starting to see that?
256
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,178
I'm starting to see
that you're the problem.
257
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,222
You don't understand that we already live
in a world where guns exist, Evan.
258
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,350
- [Grant] Coach Hillridge!
- We already... Guns are already here.
259
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,851
Coach!
260
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,020
What?
261
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,230
- What?
- Let's go.
262
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,442
- We're not even meeting on school grounds.
- You are promoting death.
263
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,027
I am not promoting death.
264
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,695
- Oh, come on.
- Please, Just try to be civil.
265
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,113
- [Markie] No, no, no, no.
- Civil. Civil. Civil.
266
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,532
What does a gun do other than kill people?
267
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:01,118
- Uh, protect people. It protects people.
- From what?
268
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,954
- People who don't know how to use--
- From people who have guns to kill people.
269
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,664
[Markie] You know, Evan, man,
270
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:09,543
I'm trying to do something for the kids.
I'm trying to give 'em a skill, a lesson.
271
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,796
Yeah, but the problem is,
when you do something like that,
272
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,422
it doesn't work 'cause you're an idiot.
273
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,299
[sighs]
274
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,599
Markie, Markie. Markie, Markie.
Mar... Markie.
275
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,935
Oh, God, Evan.
276
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,813
Oh, God. I feel bad for saying that.
277
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,942
Look. Politically, I agree with you.
278
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,445
- You're anti-gun?
- Well, you know. But... You know?
279
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:37,822
See, I can't track your politics.
280
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,658
I do it on purpose.
I can't. It's, like, I have to...
281
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:41,826
[grunts]
282
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,577
Look, I can't do anything about it.
283
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,831
The rules are very clear,
and I just have to stay out of it.
284
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,582
Just... Every possible way. I just have to.
285
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,875
It's your favorite thing to do.
286
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,669
Basically, yes. All right?
287
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:55,339
So, the club stays, unless there's
an active threat, which there is not.
288
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,091
What constitutes an active threat?
289
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,551
Evan, do not do anything stupid.
290
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,845
What? I wasn't even thinking
of doing anything.
291
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,472
I'm literally asking,
what's an active threat?
292
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,977
Now I'm thinking something.
293
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:16,777
Hello?
294
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,404
Crime and Punishment.
295
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,948
An incredible book,
but what if that were you?
296
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,910
What if you were Raskolnikov,
and you could get away with anything?
297
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,828
[chuckles]
298
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,999
We all have this voice inside of us
that's kind of dark and weird and scary.
299
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,126
And society tells us to push that down.
300
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,545
I say, "Eff you, society." Right?
301
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,506
We got to express ourselves.
That's what our friend Fyodor did.
302
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,593
Worked out pretty well for him.
And this book sold a lot of copies.
303
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,053
Guys, this is English class, okay?
304
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:48,726
This is a safe space for you to say
anything, no matter how scary, how dark.
305
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:53,731
I want you... When you write in here,
to forget anything
306
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:58,110
that anyone reading this might think
about what you're writing, and just write.
307
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,778
You're talking about creative writing?
308
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,655
Creative writing. That's what we're doing.
309
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,657
Three pages of creative writing.
310
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:09,455
And the subject is, "If you could get away
with any heinous act, what would you do?"
311
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,416
Really get into this one, guys. Go wild.
312
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:16,170
It's gonna be fun.
I wanna hear some nasty stuff, okay?
313
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,130
And if it's a little bit of this...
314
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,467
You know, I don't wanna say the word
for this, but if these are involved,
315
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,219
maybe a little bit of extra credit.
I don't...
316
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,222
Question. Is this for a grade?
317
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,350
Just pass-fail, yeah. And as long
as it's violent and heinous, it's a pass.
318
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,393
So, like, is this double-spaced or...
319
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,478
I don't care.
320
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:36,357
So I don't get it. Like, you want someone
to write an essay about killing you?
321
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,691
No, it doesn't need to be about me.
322
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,945
It just has to be something,
like, threatening for the school.
323
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,446
Yo, where's Nick?
324
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,741
He's at Buffalo Wild Wings with
his work friends. Or his ex-work friends,
325
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,869
'cause they still work there,
but he got laid off. Obviously.
326
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,204
Glad I don't have a day job.
327
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,622
- [Malcolm] Hi.
- [Rick] Malcolm.
328
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,706
- [Gwen] Come on in.
- Oh, God.
329
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,459
Oh, my fucking God.
Wait, what happened to your yard?
330
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,836
Were you bombed? It looks horrible.
331
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,088
No, Nick's building a pool!
332
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,383
- By hand?
- Why is that what everybody focuses on?
333
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,676
Pay. Pay people to do that.
334
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,177
Malcolm, check it out.
335
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,471
I found these rocks in the hole.
They look like teeth.
336
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:08,556
Oh, those are teeth.
337
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,266
- What? I was touching chips...
- [whispers] You invited him?
338
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,810
- Yeah, he said you guys are back together.
- [Rick] Oh, my God, dude.
339
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,687
- Touching chips then teeth.
- We're not back together.
340
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,522
What? He sent me a picture of you in bed.
341
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,482
- [Malcolm] Gwen. This look.
- [Gwen] Yeah.
342
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,068
Very sexy, I love it.
It's new for you, right?
343
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,070
- I knew you'd like it.
- You usually look not sexy.
344
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,405
- Okay.
- No, it looks hot. It's good.
345
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,865
She's doing it
because she fell six spots down the list.
346
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,617
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- [Gwen] No, I'm not.
347
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,160
What? What? What?
348
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,620
- Active threat. Active threat.
- What?
349
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,746
Active threat.
350
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,039
[Evan] This is it. This is the one.
351
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,084
This is... This is really intense.
352
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,586
I mean, this is concerning maybe. I...
353
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,670
- Like, how?
- [Evan] Look at this.
354
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,131
He goes, "They'll pay.
They'll pay with their lives."
355
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,465
That doesn't seem bad.
356
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,135
"This is me talking.
This isn't fiction anymore.
357
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:50,097
I've got an unslakable thirst
that can only be quenched by blood."
358
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,558
Blood? It could be a vampire.
359
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,852
Ultimately, compelling.
I mean, like, I'm hooked.
360
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,937
This is gonna work.
We're shutting it down.
361
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:59,315
Incredible. Shut it down!
362
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:06,447
As you all know, an active threat
was found in our community last night.
363
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,490
A number of measures have been taken.
364
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:11,076
Of course, the student in question,
who will not be named here,
365
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,162
will be entering immediate evaluation.
366
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,914
Also, metal detectors will be installed
367
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,000
at the remaining entrances
throughout the school.
368
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,418
This is awful news.
369
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,629
And I suppose
this part goes without saying,
370
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,465
but effective immediately, the gun club...
371
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,799
Firearms safety program.
372
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,217
...will be suspended indefinitely.
373
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,677
- [teacher 3] What? No.
- [teachers sigh]
374
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:29,845
There it is.
375
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:33,432
[Markie] Okay.
And that's how gun club dies again.
376
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,517
Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
377
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,478
Taken out back
and just George-and-Lennied.
378
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,646
Just... That's it? We're done?
379
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,231
Markie, please. If you make a speech,
then Evan has to make a speech.
380
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,691
And... No speeches while I'm speaking!
381
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,568
- [Markie] Okay, fine.
- Okay? I shouldn't have to say that.
382
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:47,738
All right. Anyway,
gun thing is canceled, okay?
383
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:52,368
However, per the district's instructions,
thanks to Evan here...
384
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,078
Whoo-hoo! Evan's our guy.
385
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,747
...we will now begin immediate
firearm training for all faculty.
386
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,374
- What?
- Sorry, what?
387
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,042
Never mind. That's bad.
388
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,252
Each classroom will now have a gun
in a lockbox
389
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,088
- to be accessed in case of a threat.
- [Gwen] Okay.
390
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,631
I'd like to opt out of that option.
391
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,926
Too bad. Firearm training starts tomorrow,
and Markie will lead it.
392
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,844
Oh. You're all in good hands.
393
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,722
Okay, you know what?
You know what? I have something to say.
394
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:14,807
Is this not a speech?
395
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,725
I don't think this is all bad,
396
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,311
even though, you know, we all
have to learn how to use guns now,
397
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,814
because the kids no longer have guns.
398
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,149
And that is really
what this was all about to me,
399
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,694
and it should have been
about that to you all too.
400
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,612
So, a success was achieved.
401
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,738
- [Rick] Legendary.
- Nice one, buddy.
402
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,201
And last but not least, free-writing
assignments will now be banned.
403
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,327
- Yes.
- [teacher 4] That's terrible.
404
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,955
That is good, actually,
with how this all shook out.
405
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,123
[student] Yeah, exactly.
406
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,834
- Hey, Jeff. Hey.
- What's up, Ms. Sanders?
407
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,585
So you like making lists, huh?
408
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,963
How do you know about that?
409
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,382
I know about it
'cause I've been working on this all week.
410
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,634
And Becca literally just told me
that it's you.
411
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,304
- Damn.
- Listen, Jeff... [sighs]
412
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:58,267
I just... I-- I just wanna know,
like, why am I low on the list?
413
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,103
Just out of curiosity. I don't
actually care. I just... I'm curious.
414
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,563
And you want the truth?
415
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,606
Yeah, of course. Yes.
416
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,775
Ever since I saw the list
was affecting how you dress,
417
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,318
I started manipulating you.
418
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,778
Sick. What?
419
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:13,323
What? No. No, like,
I want you to dress well. Elegant.
420
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,700
- You're a 34-year-old woman.
- 32.
421
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,703
- Still have nearly half your life ahead.
- You think I'm gonna live to 60?
422
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,247
You don't have to wear plain dresses
just because you have a tough job
423
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,249
- and your boyfriend's going insane.
- What?
424
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,042
Look, I actually
put together some looks for you.
425
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,461
You put together some looks?
426
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,463
[Gwen] Oh, wow. It's... Okay.
427
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,547
What do you got here?
428
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,549
I like that blazer. That's good.
429
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,843
I like that belt too, that high.
That's good.
430
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,637
God, I like these shoes though.
It's cute with the... with the wedge.
431
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,389
Those are Giuseppe Zanotti.
432
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,682
Sus-eppe Zan-oni?
433
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,434
No, stop. Okay.
434
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,311
Email this to me. But seriously,
435
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,481
this is wrong, Jeff. You know what?
I'm gonna give you detention.
436
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,984
You shouldn't be manipulating teachers.
You shouldn't be objectifying teachers.
437
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,694
Okay, I'm just saying,
you look good in teal.
438
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,029
[Gwen] Shut up.
439
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,739
But thank you.
440
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,827
What the fuck, Mr. Marquez?
441
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,621
Oh, Pablo, hey.
442
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,040
I... I'm so sorry about all of this.
443
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,001
But that was really
a particularly violent essay.
444
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,921
What's wrong with violent?
I was inspired by the concept of murder.
445
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,506
You were what?
446
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,424
I was inspired by the concept of murder.
447
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:16,261
Well, look, I mean,
it's all gonna be fine.
448
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,431
You're under 18. This is not
gonna go on your permanent record.
449
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,433
And I even wrote a letter for your file
450
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,019
taking full responsibility
for the assignment. You'll be fine.
451
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,021
Now I have to go to therapy
three times a week.
452
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,316
Yeah. I mean, people pay
a lot of money for therapy, right?
453
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,818
You're getting it for free. [chuckles]
454
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,612
I guess now I know who to talk to
about my intrusive thoughts.
455
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,447
What intrusive thoughts do you have?
456
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,699
Just stuff about buying a new car.
457
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,661
Right. Exactly.
458
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,455
So we can call it a win-win, right? Okay.
459
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,290
I guess we're cool.
460
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,292
Don't get on my list though.
461
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,048
No, I can't believe
we have to get firearms training now.
462
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,383
Markie's gonna fucking shoot us.
463
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,385
It's fine. We'll just get through it.
464
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,428
You're just saying that
'cause it's your fault.
465
00:18:58,428 --> 00:18:59,930
I was trying to do something good.
466
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,641
What if we all get into gunfights,
like, every day now?
467
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,101
Yeah, that would suck.
468
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,520
Well, at least we get to be outside,
and we're together.
469
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,105
See, this outfit is working.
470
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,439
I know. [cheers]
471
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:10,524
All right.
472
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,777
The only thing stronger
than a bad guy with a gun is?
473
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,070
A girl with a gun.
474
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,321
A good guy with a gun.
475
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,656
Which one are you?
476
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,491
Listen, Evan. I know, man.
477
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,785
I know you're pissed at me.
I know you think you won something.
478
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,120
I did win, okay?
479
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,581
In my own way, because no,
I didn't end gun violence,
480
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,542
but I got some guns
out of some kids' hands.
481
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,836
And that is good, Markie.
I made the world a better place.
482
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,005
I don't care how much shit you give me.
We're on the same side.
483
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,216
Okay, buddy? Seriously,
we're the good guys here, man.
484
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:37,885
Think about it like this.
485
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,429
You've worked your whole life
to become a power bottom,
486
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,389
now you get to be a power bottom
with a gun.
487
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,433
You think I'm a bottom
after this whole week?
488
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,101
- [Markie] Honestly?
- He's only bottomed, like, once.
489
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,396
Can we please shoot, please?
Evan, can you... Markie, please?
490
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,189
Here we go. This is what we're here for.
491
00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:52,274
- Aim.
- Markie.
492
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,567
- What?
- I don't need your advice.
493
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,611
- I know you need my advice. This has...
- Please back up.
494
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,613
- This is very straightforward.
- Buddy. It's not.
495
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,156
There's the bull's-eye, here's the gun.
496
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,199
- No, it's called recoil.
- I'm doing it. Back up.
497
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,201
- Oh, shit, man. Whoa!
- Okay. Okay.
498
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,120
- You okay? You okay?
- [Gwen] Did you break your wrist?
499
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,663
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- [Evan panting]
500
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,916
- You okay?
- I don't know. I don't know.
501
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,710
Actually, hey, look at that.
502
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,962
Bull's-eye, huh?
503
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,506
Look at you. Feel that power, buddy.
504
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:17,758
Oh, hell yeah.
505
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,551
["Kyrie" playing]
506
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:24,264
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
That I must travel ♪
507
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:30,604
♪ Kyrie eleison
Through the darkness of the night ♪
508
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:35,067
♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm going
Will you follow? ♪
509
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:41,323
♪ Kyrie eleison
On a highway in the night ♪
510
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:45,661
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
That I must travel ♪
511
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:51,959
♪ Kyrie eleison
Through the darkness of the night ♪
512
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:56,421
♪ Kyrie eleison, where I'm going
Will you follow?
513
00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:02,678
♪ Kyrie eleison
On a highway in the night ♪
514
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:07,182
♪ Kyrie eleison down the road
That I must travel ♪
515
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:08,600
{\an8}[song fades out]