1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,223 [Womal murdered my mother, ya see. 4 00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:15,094 Our very own catalogue of love killed her. 5 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:18,493 Listen here, it use to take me longer to remember Mother's voice, 6 00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:21,628 like the stairs of our house when we would go on holiday. 7 00:01:21,652 --> 00:01:25,335 But I can smell us, I can hear her again. 8 00:01:25,359 --> 00:01:27,535 See, I've been following her scent for a while now. 9 00:01:27,559 --> 00:01:31,539 It were never gone, ya see, just lost a little. 10 00:01:31,563 --> 00:01:34,500 But the grief finally came and took me, and I let it. 11 00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:38,282 But she's found herself in things. 12 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:41,120 So, I finally realised now how unconditional it was, 13 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:46,323 That thing we did was always the thing that recorded our lives, love, 14 00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:49,524 and that without it, nothing existed. 15 00:01:49,548 --> 00:01:52,329 I promise you, I will be catching the past in a net 16 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:55,398 my mother meshes, and memories like fishes. 17 00:01:55,422 --> 00:01:58,533 The longer we went without each little thing we collected, 18 00:01:58,557 --> 00:02:01,140 we worried the love would trickle and dry out. 19 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,837 I'm feeling woozy now. 20 00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:09,709 You'll feel it too... soon, I promise you that. 21 00:02:26,453 --> 00:02:28,761 Maria, for the net. 22 00:02:28,785 --> 00:02:31,392 Look, these. 23 00:02:33,757 --> 00:02:38,234 Do you know what, girl? I reckon we have found a full set here. 24 00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:16,701 I suggest you take yourself home to your mother, Billy Jones. 25 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,746 It's late. 26 00:04:16,497 --> 00:04:17,903 You. 27 00:04:17,927 --> 00:04:20,897 Maria, get out. 28 00:05:48,787 --> 00:05:50,525 Ello, Pearly Pearl. 29 00:05:51,691 --> 00:05:53,702 How's your day? 30 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,577 Ello, there, my little Rhubarb. 31 00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,513 How was school? 32 00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:06,541 - Good. - Yeah? Let's 'ave a look at ya lunchbox. 33 00:06:08,774 --> 00:06:12,490 Cor, girl, look at all this. 34 00:06:12,514 --> 00:06:14,558 You know what we can do with these, don't ya? 35 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,989 - What? - We can put 'em in the oven, 36 00:06:17,013 --> 00:06:19,761 we dry 'em out in slices, like they do on Blue Peter, 37 00:06:19,785 --> 00:06:21,697 and then we can use them as decorations. 38 00:06:24,119 --> 00:06:26,154 Where's ya tin? 39 00:06:29,465 --> 00:06:30,937 Don't know. 40 00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:33,081 What do you mean, you don't know where it is? 41 00:06:35,504 --> 00:06:37,572 Oh, Maria, didn't you bring it home? 42 00:06:38,804 --> 00:06:40,551 I told you, you bring everything home. 43 00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:42,808 I told you you needed to bring the tin home, didn't I? 44 00:06:48,484 --> 00:06:50,079 Christ's sake. 45 00:07:11,606 --> 00:07:13,641 Make a wish, then, sausage. 46 00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:17,951 God, them poor vegetarians, can you imagine? 47 00:07:17,975 --> 00:07:19,821 - Mum? - What? 48 00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:22,980 - Can I have a tree? - Eat one of your trees. 49 00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:26,157 I'm 'aving peas. 50 00:07:26,181 --> 00:07:28,953 You have trees. I have peas. 51 00:07:32,792 --> 00:07:34,794 Dig into ya pyramids n'all, girl. 52 00:07:35,927 --> 00:07:38,996 Them wishes only come true if you gobble that all up. 53 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:48,071 Nice? 54 00:08:31,653 --> 00:08:34,315 Red sky at night, shepherds' delight. 55 00:08:36,823 --> 00:08:39,826 Red sky in the morning, shepherds' warning. 56 00:09:03,146 --> 00:09:04,983 Mum, Mum. 57 00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:11,319 Mum, wake up. 58 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,737 Mum. 59 00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:22,944 Where's my PE kit? 60 00:09:22,968 --> 00:09:25,045 Oi, oi. 61 00:09:25,069 --> 00:09:28,048 Come 'ere a second. Sit down. 62 00:09:28,072 --> 00:09:30,820 Right. 63 00:09:30,844 --> 00:09:32,954 Now, I want you to remember, 64 00:09:32,978 --> 00:09:35,220 that if any of them 'orrible little kids start on you today, 65 00:09:35,244 --> 00:09:41,127 And you shut your eyes, and you say it as loudly as you can say it, right? 66 00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:43,866 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 67 00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,066 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran 68 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,134 with a finger up his bum to see what was the matter. 69 00:09:48,158 --> 00:09:51,137 That's it, good girl, 'ave a bite. 70 00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,908 Yes! Together? 71 00:09:52,932 --> 00:09:55,638 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line... 72 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,309 Christmas dinner's next Tuesday, 73 00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:01,851 so you've only got until tomorrow to get your tickets on the register. 74 00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:04,315 Get ready for PE. 75 00:10:04,339 --> 00:10:06,020 Now, please. 76 00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:09,892 Maria, 77 00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:11,852 why aren't you putting on your PE kit? 78 00:10:14,019 --> 00:10:16,129 I couldn't find it, Miss. 79 00:10:16,153 --> 00:10:19,033 What do you mean you couldn't find it? 80 00:10:19,057 --> 00:10:20,771 You know what you have to do. 81 00:10:20,795 --> 00:10:23,334 Wear lost property, or do it in your knickers and vest. 82 00:11:04,168 --> 00:11:06,311 So stupid! 83 00:11:06,335 --> 00:11:10,315 Stupid PE kit! No PE kit! Stupid! 84 00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:13,890 No... PE... kit! 85 00:11:29,457 --> 00:11:31,435 - Hello. - Oi, Rhubarb, 86 00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,074 What's all that about? 87 00:11:33,098 --> 00:11:35,241 Where's Pearl? I haven't seen her in days. 88 00:11:35,265 --> 00:11:37,914 I don't know, babe, but she'll turn up, 'cause she always does. 89 00:11:37,938 --> 00:11:39,443 Listen to me, why are you home early from school? 90 00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:41,280 - What's happened? - Why do we have this? 91 00:11:41,304 --> 00:11:44,813 And this? And this? 92 00:11:45,847 --> 00:11:47,418 I go 'round other people's houses, 93 00:11:47,442 --> 00:11:50,828 - and they don't look like this! - Maria, stop it! 94 00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:52,423 That's not very nice, the way you're being. 95 00:11:52,447 --> 00:11:55,734 It's because of you, all of this. It's because of your rhyme. 96 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,737 And it's because no PE kit again. 97 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,904 - They took the piss again! - You've got a roof over your 'ead 98 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:03,742 and you've got everything that you could possibly need. 99 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:08,373 Oh, do I? I'd like a mum that irons my clothes all the time. 100 00:12:08,397 --> 00:12:11,343 Oh, would you? You want your clothes ironed all the time? 101 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:13,312 All right, okay. 102 00:12:13,336 --> 00:12:16,051 I can iron your clothes. I do do my best, you know, Maria, 103 00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:18,416 but I work full-time as well, right? 104 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,386 Take your jumper off, then, and you can have it ironed, if it means that much. 105 00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:23,025 No. 106 00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:24,763 What? You will. 107 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,424 Take it off. If it means that much to you, 108 00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:28,525 take it off your back now, and I'll iron it. 109 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,464 Take it off. Take it off. 110 00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:35,532 Take it off, because you wanted it off, so take it off. 111 00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:37,072 Let go. Maria, let go. 112 00:12:37,096 --> 00:12:39,470 Let go of it. Let go of it now. 113 00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:42,838 Let go, 'cause you wanted it ironed, so we will iron it, all right? 114 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:46,917 We'll iron it if, it means that much to ya. 115 00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:49,480 If that means more to you, then that's what we'll do. 116 00:12:51,847 --> 00:12:54,410 I'm ashamed of us. 117 00:12:58,447 --> 00:13:00,515 I hate what we are. 118 00:13:14,298 --> 00:13:15,970 All right. 119 00:13:18,302 --> 00:13:20,379 Well, should we just stop it all, then? 120 00:13:20,403 --> 00:13:21,886 - No! - Should we? 121 00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:23,580 - Mum, I didn't mean it. - Yes, you did. 122 00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:26,187 - I didn't. - Yes, you did mean it, don't you lie! 123 00:13:26,211 --> 00:13:28,321 - You did mean it. - I didn't mean it. 124 00:13:28,345 --> 00:13:30,961 Nasty, nasty little girl. 125 00:13:30,985 --> 00:13:34,162 - No, I didn't mean it! - Where's your lunchbox? 126 00:13:34,186 --> 00:13:36,197 Maria... 127 00:13:36,221 --> 00:13:38,100 Maria, where's your lunchbox? 128 00:13:38,124 --> 00:13:41,334 Where's your peels and your wrappers and your tin balls? Where is it? 129 00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:43,842 Maria, where is it? Where did you put it? 130 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,536 Where is it? 131 00:13:52,369 --> 00:13:55,953 What have you done? What have you done? 132 00:13:55,977 --> 00:13:58,351 What have you done? Where have you put it all?! 133 00:13:58,375 --> 00:14:01,345 - Maria, where have you put it? - What have you done?! 134 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:29,340 Mum, is it... Pearl? 135 00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:32,253 Is it Pearl? 136 00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:34,147 Mum, is it Pearl? 137 00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:41,187 Rat King. 138 00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:49,567 Maria! 139 00:15:20,589 --> 00:15:23,394 They're just jealous of our love, Maria. 140 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,281 That's it. 141 00:15:45,482 --> 00:15:47,658 'Ere we go. 142 00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:52,995 Lucozade. 143 00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:56,700 I didn't mean it, Mum. 144 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,100 I just wanted to make you upset. 145 00:16:00,332 --> 00:16:03,608 I love how we live. I love our catalogue of love. 146 00:16:03,632 --> 00:16:06,512 Never, ever, ever change it. 147 00:16:06,536 --> 00:16:09,020 - Promise? - Never. 148 00:16:09,044 --> 00:16:12,254 - I love you, Rhubarb. - I love you, Custard. 149 00:16:41,538 --> 00:16:44,211 Look how pretty you are. 150 00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:51,284 Look at your lovely big eyelashes. 151 00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:57,101 I don't think you should go to school today. 152 00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:59,292 I think you might be too poorly. 153 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:06,572 What's that?! 154 00:17:06,596 --> 00:17:09,707 What's that?! Oh, God! Oh, quick, quick, quick! 155 00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:12,479 I think they can see us. Quick, quick! What is it?! 156 00:17:12,503 --> 00:17:15,713 Stay still. Stay still, Maria! Stay still 'cause they can see us. 157 00:17:15,737 --> 00:17:17,616 Maria they can see us! 158 00:17:24,449 --> 00:17:27,626 They're here, they're there, they're there. 159 00:17:33,623 --> 00:17:35,469 They're coming for ya. 160 00:17:35,493 --> 00:17:37,453 They're coming for you, and they're gonna get you. 161 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,310 Oompa... 162 00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:43,510 Loompa... 163 00:17:43,534 --> 00:17:47,217 stick it up ya jumper! 164 00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:51,089 You wiggly worm! 165 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:56,523 I'll make you squirm! 166 00:17:56,547 --> 00:17:59,724 And when it's time for bed... 167 00:17:59,748 --> 00:18:04,135 I'll talk and I'll talk 168 00:18:04,159 --> 00:18:06,434 until you wish 169 00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:11,307 you were dead! 170 00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:27,620 How about I make you and Pearl some breakfast then, girl? Yeah? 171 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,400 Cor, what's she look like on there? 172 00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:54,812 I think Blue Peter's lost its mind, you know. 173 00:18:54,836 --> 00:18:56,904 Right... 174 00:18:57,938 --> 00:19:00,314 ...hot or cold? 175 00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:03,689 - In this room? - Yeah, in this room. 176 00:19:03,713 --> 00:19:05,781 Hot or cold. Stand up. 177 00:19:10,258 --> 00:19:13,261 Ooh, she's hot. She's hot. 178 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:17,802 Shewarm! 179 00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:21,203 Ooh, she's getting cold. 180 00:19:22,336 --> 00:19:24,239 She's getting cold. 181 00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:30,617 No... she's cold. 182 00:19:30,641 --> 00:19:32,709 She's cold. 183 00:19:35,349 --> 00:19:37,459 Now she's really warm. 184 00:19:37,483 --> 00:19:39,263 Now she's really, really, really warm. 185 00:19:39,287 --> 00:19:41,496 She's really hot. She's getting hotter. 186 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,621 She's getting hotter. 187 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,428 Close your eyes. 188 00:19:51,464 --> 00:19:53,532 All right, open 'em. 189 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,967 Ah! 190 00:20:07,942 --> 00:20:10,822 This is for you, for our love. 191 00:20:10,846 --> 00:20:13,660 For our never-ending catalogue of love. 192 00:20:13,684 --> 00:20:16,531 Took me all year to collect all of this on the streets, 193 00:20:16,555 --> 00:20:18,797 to fill up this jar. 194 00:20:18,821 --> 00:20:21,536 Do you like it? Yeah? 195 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,703 Let's 'ave a look. 196 00:20:23,727 --> 00:20:27,443 Open it up and give it a whiff. 197 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,370 What does that smell like to you? 198 00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:34,318 - Magic! - Magic! It smells like magic! 199 00:20:34,342 --> 00:20:36,452 Magic, magic, magic! 200 00:20:38,973 --> 00:20:41,292 Gimme this one. 201 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:51,027 Oh, now she looks pretty. 202 00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:53,469 Oh! 203 00:20:53,493 --> 00:20:55,438 You got a green one on ya. 204 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,441 Right on ya nose. Right on ya lil nose. 205 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:01,279 But wait... what did we forget? 206 00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,379 Quick. 207 00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:03,899 'Old on. 208 00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:06,341 'Cause... 209 00:21:07,771 --> 00:21:09,036 ...one more. 210 00:21:14,349 --> 00:21:15,623 Wait there. 211 00:21:20,553 --> 00:21:23,565 Chocolate coins for my little magpie 212 00:21:23,589 --> 00:21:25,732 'cause I know you love 'em. 213 00:21:25,756 --> 00:21:27,635 You save them till later, all right? 214 00:21:27,659 --> 00:21:30,770 You don't be a little piglet. You don't be a little piglet. 215 00:21:30,794 --> 00:21:34,070 You don't be a little piglet. You don't be a little piglet! 216 00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:37,546 She loves 'em, don't she?! 217 00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:39,009 Oh, it's snowin'. 218 00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:42,551 It's snowin', it's snowin' on her! 219 00:21:42,575 --> 00:21:44,322 It's snowin' on her! 220 00:21:51,815 --> 00:21:55,366 - It's not furry. - It's not furry. Is it slimy? 221 00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:57,962 - Uh, sort of. - Has it got... 222 00:21:57,986 --> 00:22:00,063 Sort-of slimy. How can you be sort-of slimy? 223 00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:01,999 - You're either slimy... - Well, it is slimy. 224 00:22:13,969 --> 00:22:15,443 Is it green? 225 00:22:16,444 --> 00:22:18,776 - No. - Is it yellow? 226 00:22:20,107 --> 00:22:21,689 - Yes. - Is it yellow? 227 00:22:21,713 --> 00:22:24,362 - Is it stripey? - Yes. 228 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,957 - Is it a tiger? - Yes! 229 00:22:35,122 --> 00:22:38,937 And without spring, honey. 230 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,713 - [Mothels it real? - Yes. 231 00:22:45,737 --> 00:22:47,484 Is it slimy? 232 00:22:47,508 --> 00:22:51,851 No! What the heck?! This is nowhere near slimy. 233 00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:53,083 Is it furry? 234 00:22:58,849 --> 00:23:00,893 You think we need some snow spray? 235 00:23:00,917 --> 00:23:02,433 Yeah. 236 00:23:06,527 --> 00:23:10,795 - Mum, what am I havin' for Christmas? - Ah, you'll have to wait and see, girl. 237 00:23:16,064 --> 00:23:18,066 Where were you today, missy? 238 00:23:22,202 --> 00:23:24,422 Mrs Norwood, innit? 239 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,116 Yeah? 240 00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,888 Well, my Maria won't be coming back to your poxy school. 241 00:23:28,912 --> 00:23:31,792 Especially not to be bullied by children as cruel as you 242 00:23:31,816 --> 00:23:33,893 who do not seem to understand how talented, 243 00:23:33,917 --> 00:23:36,656 unique and stupendous my daughter truly is. 244 00:23:37,888 --> 00:23:39,866 See... 245 00:23:39,890 --> 00:23:41,793 I've 'eard all about you. 246 00:23:42,827 --> 00:23:43,894 Open your mouth. 247 00:23:47,227 --> 00:23:51,548 Teeth like bombed 'ouses. I shoulda known. 248 00:23:51,572 --> 00:23:53,451 Now, I suggest you move out of my way 249 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:55,882 before I make the bottom row look like tombstones n'all. 250 00:23:55,906 --> 00:23:59,523 And I hope Santa brings you a new set, Mrs Norwood. 251 00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:04,013 And I'll make you a better set outta white plasticine, all right? 252 00:24:09,524 --> 00:24:12,219 Merry cunting Christmas, Mrs Norwood. 253 00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:21,006 Now, shall we get the bits for the prawn cocktail, me lady? 254 00:24:21,030 --> 00:24:22,876 - Yeah. - Yeah. 255 00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:49,762 Give us a kiss, then. 256 00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:26,577 Get me some salt as well, babe. 257 00:25:26,601 --> 00:25:28,603 Just a little bit. 258 00:25:31,199 --> 00:25:34,807 God, this always happens when someone riles me up. 259 00:25:35,808 --> 00:25:37,876 Sprinkle a bit in. 260 00:25:39,306 --> 00:25:41,583 That's it. 261 00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:03,000 Ah! Bollocks. 262 00:26:06,201 --> 00:26:08,269 And I've dropped me needle now. 263 00:26:09,908 --> 00:26:12,075 Oh, where's that gone? 264 00:26:30,126 --> 00:26:32,742 - Mum? - Yeah. 265 00:26:32,766 --> 00:26:35,670 Please can I get some sweets from the corner shop? 266 00:26:37,397 --> 00:26:40,277 It's a bit late, babe, and we just bought a load of afters, ain't we? 267 00:26:40,301 --> 00:26:42,039 Please, Mum? 268 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,911 Give us me purse, then. 269 00:26:57,054 --> 00:27:00,794 You know, yous two have got the same name on purpose - Maria. 270 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:04,004 'Cause when you was in my belly, 271 00:27:04,028 --> 00:27:06,644 I read this over and over and over again. 272 00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,745 Right. 273 00:27:08,769 --> 00:27:12,243 Here, get me a pack of needles, so I can finish this. 274 00:27:12,267 --> 00:27:16,247 And so we can sew the turkey's bum up nice and tight. 275 00:27:16,271 --> 00:27:18,018 Before you go... 276 00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:20,086 there's somethin' for you over there on the piano. 277 00:27:20,110 --> 00:27:22,178 Go and have a look. 278 00:27:33,057 --> 00:27:35,125 Open it up. 279 00:27:45,806 --> 00:27:48,851 Magnificent. 280 00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:51,348 Show me. 281 00:27:54,749 --> 00:27:57,917 - Love you, Rhubarb. - Love you, Custard. 282 00:28:50,332 --> 00:28:52,466 Got my change, girl? 283 00:28:57,075 --> 00:28:59,823 What you up to, you little conniver? 284 00:29:41,581 --> 00:29:43,834 I'm gonna name you... 285 00:29:43,858 --> 00:29:46,025 Salt and Vinegary. 286 00:29:49,193 --> 00:29:53,164 And you, little one, I'm gonna name you Chip Butty. 287 00:29:58,301 --> 00:30:01,918 You're so cute. I love you, I love you, I love you. 288 00:30:01,942 --> 00:30:06,153 Mwah. Aw... so cute! 289 00:30:13,382 --> 00:30:19,166 - Mum? - Maria! 290 00:30:19,190 --> 00:30:20,563 Mum? 291 00:30:29,299 --> 00:30:31,873 Mum? Mum? 292 00:30:34,634 --> 00:30:37,052 Maria... 293 00:30:37,076 --> 00:30:39,582 Mum? 294 00:30:39,606 --> 00:30:42,387 Maria... 295 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,471 Rem... Rememb... 296 00:31:00,495 --> 00:31:02,937 Remember our... 297 00:31:04,004 --> 00:31:06,378 Remember our catalogue of love. 298 00:31:17,215 --> 00:31:21,294 Maria, darling. I've come to see if you're all right. 299 00:31:21,318 --> 00:31:24,000 When's my mum coming back? 300 00:31:24,024 --> 00:31:26,464 Oh, darlin', I don't know. 301 00:31:26,488 --> 00:31:28,664 I can't answer that, darlin'. I don't know. 302 00:31:28,688 --> 00:31:32,074 Poor, poor girl. Ain't fit to be a mother. 303 00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:35,143 Maria! 304 00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:38,245 - Don't you dare say that about my mum! - Maria! 305 00:31:38,269 --> 00:31:40,247 - No, no, no. Sorry, young lady. - Don't you dare! 306 00:31:40,271 --> 00:31:43,085 Now, listen. You can't come in, darlin'. 307 00:31:43,109 --> 00:31:46,079 I'm sorry, we're going to have to take you down to the station, all right? 308 00:31:50,017 --> 00:31:52,028 Come on, darlin'. 309 00:31:52,052 --> 00:31:55,484 Come on, darlin'. Good girl. 310 00:31:57,420 --> 00:32:00,696 There's a good girl. Come on, then. 311 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,557 Come with me? 312 00:32:04,031 --> 00:32:06,405 Come on. There's a good girl. 313 00:32:06,429 --> 00:32:08,946 Good girl. Come on, darlin'. 314 00:32:25,316 --> 00:32:27,648 Come on, over here. 315 00:32:33,324 --> 00:32:37,106 Maria, the hospital are taking the best care of your mother right now. 316 00:32:41,695 --> 00:32:43,211 I'll come and visit you tomorrow, 317 00:32:43,235 --> 00:32:45,081 but this is where you'll be staying tonight, 318 00:32:45,105 --> 00:32:47,173 with this lovely lady, Michelle. 319 00:32:49,538 --> 00:32:52,112 She looks after children like yourself. 320 00:32:54,708 --> 00:32:56,677 I do this with other kids, you see. 321 00:32:59,119 --> 00:33:01,187 Their mums need a little break. 322 00:33:02,221 --> 00:33:04,289 They just need a hand. 323 00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:08,095 I'm the hand. 324 00:33:09,723 --> 00:33:12,132 Do you understand, Maria? 325 00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:16,499 You're gonna be stayin' with Michelle for a while. 326 00:33:19,139 --> 00:33:21,504 Is that okay? 327 00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:44,272 I've decided I wanna donate me organs. 328 00:33:44,296 --> 00:33:46,703 Well, don't be coming to me when you don't have eyes in your next life. 329 00:33:46,727 --> 00:33:48,573 Eyes aren't organs. I can't believe you're getting funny 330 00:33:48,597 --> 00:33:51,807 - over this hypothetical thing. - No, I'm dead serious, Maria. 331 00:33:51,831 --> 00:33:53,479 My mother always used to say that to me. 332 00:33:53,503 --> 00:33:55,217 Who were you on the phone to late last night? 333 00:33:55,241 --> 00:33:57,417 - Kept me up. - Should've done these last night. 334 00:33:57,441 --> 00:33:59,320 Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you about. 335 00:33:59,344 --> 00:34:01,619 Do you remember I told you about Michael? 336 00:34:01,643 --> 00:34:05,227 The young lad that used to live with me couple of years before you came? 337 00:34:05,251 --> 00:34:07,295 He's coming to stay for a bit. 338 00:34:07,319 --> 00:34:11,101 He's waiting for his housing stuff to get sorted out. 339 00:34:11,125 --> 00:34:13,763 Gonna be coming on the 8th of August. 340 00:34:13,787 --> 00:34:18,108 Yes, I've just bleeding told you that, you ain't you listening. 341 00:34:18,132 --> 00:34:19,307 PE kit. 342 00:34:19,331 --> 00:34:21,342 It's ironed in the living room, hanging up. 343 00:34:21,366 --> 00:34:23,707 - Your PE kit's down there. - Right. 344 00:34:23,731 --> 00:34:26,512 So, he's gonna be kipping here for a few weeks. 345 00:34:26,536 --> 00:34:28,448 Right. 346 00:34:28,472 --> 00:34:30,648 He's coming this evening. 347 00:34:30,672 --> 00:34:32,773 So, try not to be out too late, yeah? 348 00:34:34,247 --> 00:34:36,126 Also, sorry, I know it's a bit last-minute, 349 00:34:36,150 --> 00:34:38,482 but could you hoover the downstairs? 350 00:34:39,615 --> 00:34:40,856 Mum, shoes? 351 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,627 - Clear up the living room a little. - Shoes? 352 00:34:42,651 --> 00:34:45,333 I dunno where ya bleeding shoes are, do I? 353 00:34:45,357 --> 00:34:49,304 Tidy up the living room, would you, a bit, please, before he gets here? 354 00:34:49,328 --> 00:34:51,273 Right. 355 00:34:51,297 --> 00:34:54,804 Oh, also, heard about this man dressing up as an old lady. 356 00:34:54,828 --> 00:34:58,511 He's been breaking into gaffs 'round here, raping women, old and young, 357 00:34:58,535 --> 00:35:00,381 so, please, come home with Laraib tonight. 358 00:35:00,405 --> 00:35:02,119 Keep ya wits about you. 359 00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:04,220 Anything looks dodgy, go into the telephone box, 360 00:35:04,244 --> 00:35:05,815 or knock on Janice next door. 361 00:35:05,839 --> 00:35:08,719 Can you not go on the stairs with your shoes on? 362 00:35:08,743 --> 00:35:11,293 How many times have I got to keep telling you? 363 00:35:12,813 --> 00:35:15,519 Can't believe how bleeding long you've been living in my house. 364 00:35:17,356 --> 00:35:19,235 Might have to start charging you upkeepance. 365 00:35:19,259 --> 00:35:20,830 - Love ya. - Love ya. 366 00:35:20,854 --> 00:35:23,428 - I'll see you later. - Forgot my PE kit. 367 00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:42,414 Who's the woman coming, then? 368 00:35:49,289 --> 00:35:52,235 - Morning, Janice. - All right, poppet. 369 00:35:52,259 --> 00:35:54,369 Oh, you look nice! 370 00:35:54,393 --> 00:35:56,272 Last day at school, yeah? 371 00:35:56,296 --> 00:35:58,901 Yeah, thanks. Don't forget your milk again. 372 00:35:58,925 --> 00:36:00,894 Oh... 373 00:36:07,604 --> 00:36:09,549 - It's a yes-or-no question. - It's really not. 374 00:36:09,573 --> 00:36:12,618 - I'm asking you! - Um, yes. Yes. I would say yes. 375 00:36:12,642 --> 00:36:14,257 Wait, wait, wait, turn around. 376 00:36:14,281 --> 00:36:16,490 - What's that say, Maria? - Give it a rest. 377 00:36:16,514 --> 00:36:19,658 Ah, mate! Who would've thought that trip in year eight, orienteering, would... 378 00:36:19,682 --> 00:36:21,891 - All right! Noot-noot! - Wait, wait, wait. 379 00:36:21,915 --> 00:36:24,432 Babes, how you got the least amount of goodbyes? 380 00:36:24,456 --> 00:36:27,567 Look, you're clearly the only bonfire here. 381 00:36:27,591 --> 00:36:30,273 Bonfire! 382 00:36:30,297 --> 00:36:32,473 What's Kadeeja saying about Saturday? 383 00:36:32,497 --> 00:36:34,838 Oh, she said that, what is it, pub's going off, 384 00:36:34,862 --> 00:36:37,214 and... 385 00:36:37,238 --> 00:36:39,348 ...Pete can give us a lift. 386 00:36:39,372 --> 00:36:42,450 - Did you hear about Beth Garvey? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 387 00:36:42,474 --> 00:36:45,849 Year eight, got fingered with a test tube in the science block, didn't she? 388 00:36:45,873 --> 00:36:47,917 I heard it was a Cadbury's Chomp in the common room. 389 00:36:47,941 --> 00:36:51,756 Mm-mm! Deffo science block. 390 00:36:51,780 --> 00:36:55,421 Why, what would you rather - Cadbury's or test tube? 391 00:36:56,686 --> 00:36:58,730 - Cadbury's. - Reason being? 392 00:36:58,754 --> 00:37:01,832 "Reason being?" Why do I need a reason? It's just a feeling. 393 00:37:13,802 --> 00:37:17,012 Yeah, but he got it from me. 394 00:37:17,036 --> 00:37:19,949 What, he was your first sexual awakening? Winnie the Pooh? 395 00:37:22,877 --> 00:37:24,756 Yeah. 396 00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:27,528 What was yours? 397 00:37:27,552 --> 00:37:29,662 - Looks like Simply Red! - Yes. 398 00:37:29,686 --> 00:37:31,268 - Simply Red lookalike! - Yes, yes! 399 00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:32,995 That's what I was thinking. When did you see him? 400 00:37:33,019 --> 00:37:36,570 - Do you think he's fit? - Oh, do you think he's fit? 401 00:37:36,594 --> 00:37:39,474 - What, Simply Red? - Yeah. 402 00:37:39,498 --> 00:37:41,641 - I guess I'd not really thought about it. - You not? 403 00:37:41,665 --> 00:37:43,412 What if Michelle's home and we reek of it? 404 00:37:43,436 --> 00:37:47,581 She's gonna see my eyes. She's gonna be, like, "You look like a raisin." 405 00:37:47,605 --> 00:37:49,418 - A raisin?! - I feel like a raisin. 406 00:37:49,442 --> 00:37:53,818 Well, lucky for you... I've got Impulse, innit? 407 00:37:53,842 --> 00:37:55,754 Turn around, babe. 408 00:37:55,778 --> 00:37:57,327 Look at that. 409 00:37:58,979 --> 00:38:00,297 Perfect. 410 00:38:04,754 --> 00:38:06,732 Smelling nice, ladies! 411 00:38:06,756 --> 00:38:08,899 - Piss off, Pete. - Oh, don't be like that. 412 00:38:08,923 --> 00:38:12,606 Look, I'm gonna get a lift home with this one. 413 00:38:12,630 --> 00:38:14,674 - What, with this nonce? - Oi! 414 00:38:14,698 --> 00:38:16,973 Cheeky bastard. I'm 27. 415 00:38:16,997 --> 00:38:20,416 - Yeah, exactly, this is bad. - Maria he's harmless, he's harmless. 416 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,615 He could be the granny rapist! 417 00:38:21,639 --> 00:38:26,081 Yeah, but it's not just grannies. I promised we'd walk back together. 418 00:38:26,105 --> 00:38:28,919 Look at him. He's harmless, look. We're gonna go 'round the block... 419 00:38:28,943 --> 00:38:31,460 Michelle told me about this man dressing up... 420 00:38:31,484 --> 00:38:33,561 Michelle knew someone who died from an ingrown hair 421 00:38:33,585 --> 00:38:35,827 - and got a decapitated arm. - But she did, though, I swear! 422 00:38:35,851 --> 00:38:37,796 Look, I'm gonna go 'round the block a couple times. 423 00:38:37,820 --> 00:38:40,667 I promise, I'll ring you when I get back, okay? 424 00:38:40,691 --> 00:38:42,570 Look, be back soon. 425 00:38:57,906 --> 00:38:59,488 Dickhead. 426 00:39:27,474 --> 00:39:29,542 Hello. 427 00:39:42,951 --> 00:39:44,566 Can you take my shoes off, please, 428 00:39:44,590 --> 00:39:47,186 and throw them down there before you do anything to me? 429 00:39:53,995 --> 00:39:56,578 - Do you have to rape me here? - Do what? 430 00:39:56,602 --> 00:39:58,481 I'll have to walk past these stairs every day. 431 00:39:58,505 --> 00:40:00,780 Could you take me to the garden at least? 432 00:40:25,862 --> 00:40:28,940 Maria, what you doing? Get off the stairs. 433 00:40:28,964 --> 00:40:31,580 Better not have gone on them with your muddy shoes. 434 00:40:31,604 --> 00:40:33,978 Oh, Michael. Give us a hand with the shopping, will ya? 435 00:40:34,002 --> 00:40:37,784 This is Sam and her girls, do you remember? 436 00:40:37,808 --> 00:40:41,986 All right, love. Oh, you've grown, ain't ya? 437 00:40:42,010 --> 00:40:45,187 - Girls. - Girls give him a hand, too, please. 438 00:40:45,211 --> 00:40:47,180 - Give us a chance. - Calm down. 439 00:40:53,758 --> 00:40:56,803 State of her and the price of chips. 440 00:40:56,827 --> 00:40:59,608 Fish, not chips, Elle, you div. 441 00:40:59,632 --> 00:41:03,513 I fostered Michael for a few months, 442 00:41:03,537 --> 00:41:06,549 'round six years before codswallop upstairs came here. 443 00:41:06,573 --> 00:41:09,717 - How old are you now? - I'm nearly 30 now. 444 00:41:09,741 --> 00:41:11,851 Oh, it's just gone by, ain't it? 445 00:41:11,875 --> 00:41:14,953 - I remember how little you were. - Yeah. 446 00:41:14,977 --> 00:41:18,825 You must have been 12 when I had ya, Michael. About 5 months, I think. 447 00:41:18,849 --> 00:41:22,565 But you I couldn't keep. Had to let go, didn't I? 448 00:41:22,589 --> 00:41:25,700 - 'Cause your lovely brother wanted ya. - Yeah, no, he took me in. 449 00:41:25,724 --> 00:41:27,504 Tight squeeze. 450 00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,737 But he's, uh, moving abroad now. 451 00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,575 He's got a family of his own, so he's... 452 00:41:32,599 --> 00:41:34,775 Yeah, I'm gonna move in close by here, I think. 453 00:41:34,799 --> 00:41:39,780 - Because? - I'm moving in with my girlfriend. 454 00:41:39,804 --> 00:41:42,277 She's a bit more than that, don't undersell her. 455 00:41:42,301 --> 00:41:44,521 Right, that's yours, Sam. 456 00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,523 I've put all your bits in that bag, and the girls, too. 457 00:41:46,547 --> 00:41:49,086 Oh, right. Fucking 'ell! 458 00:41:49,110 --> 00:41:52,991 How'd I raise 'em like that? Champagne taste, beer money. 459 00:41:53,015 --> 00:41:55,248 Burn a hole in my pocket, you lot! 460 00:41:57,118 --> 00:42:00,801 Michelle, do you mind if I have a shower? Don't wanna stink your house out. 461 00:42:00,825 --> 00:42:02,803 Oh, don't be silly. Yeah, yeah. 462 00:42:02,827 --> 00:42:05,168 Um, just give us a second, I'll stick the heating on. Go on, go up. 463 00:42:05,192 --> 00:42:08,228 You know where it all is. Towels on the banisters. 464 00:42:13,299 --> 00:42:15,915 - It's good to see ya. - Mm-hm. 465 00:42:15,939 --> 00:42:20,216 Proper lovely, ain't he? Aw, butter wouldn't melt. 466 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:21,855 Nice bit of crumpet, too. 467 00:42:21,879 --> 00:42:24,561 Behave! 468 00:42:24,585 --> 00:42:27,918 - That's bad luck. - Mind your own. 469 00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:01,721 Do you mind? 470 00:43:07,056 --> 00:43:09,124 Suppose. 471 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,710 That's a great big smile. 472 00:43:14,734 --> 00:43:16,868 Big as Christmas, that. 473 00:43:26,944 --> 00:43:29,012 That nice? 474 00:43:31,146 --> 00:43:33,729 What've you got? 475 00:43:36,954 --> 00:43:41,231 Anyway, so, I just thought, when's she gonna take it off? 476 00:43:41,255 --> 00:43:43,233 - S'cuse me? - Say please. 477 00:43:43,257 --> 00:43:45,136 Please. 478 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,676 Very polite. 479 00:43:46,700 --> 00:43:49,206 Yeah. 480 00:43:49,230 --> 00:43:51,813 - Still whiffs a bit, though. - All right, girls? 481 00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:55,047 - You all right, Michael? - Good day? 482 00:43:55,071 --> 00:43:58,844 Bleeding awful. Got a ladder in my tights, look. 483 00:44:00,406 --> 00:44:02,923 Ah. Hate it when that happens. 484 00:44:06,819 --> 00:44:09,424 So, you'll be seeing a lot more of us. 485 00:44:09,448 --> 00:44:11,384 Maria's like getting blood out of a stone. 486 00:44:12,825 --> 00:44:14,803 Dull as dishwater, ain't ya, Maria? 487 00:44:14,827 --> 00:44:17,069 Oh, I'm not being funny as well, Maria, 488 00:44:17,093 --> 00:44:19,401 but you stink of bobby orange. 489 00:44:19,425 --> 00:44:21,843 Like when was the last time you washed, girl? 490 00:44:21,867 --> 00:44:25,847 I could smell ya as you walked in. You reek, girl, Jesus Christ. 491 00:44:25,871 --> 00:44:28,784 Nah, it's probably me working with rubbish all day. 492 00:44:28,808 --> 00:44:34,053 Um, nah. Since school's ended, you've really let yourself go, Maria. 493 00:44:34,077 --> 00:44:35,857 Whoa. 494 00:44:35,881 --> 00:44:37,991 What? 495 00:44:38,015 --> 00:44:40,050 It's true, look at her. 496 00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:47,132 Got any mates feeling philanthropic this bank holiday, Michael? 497 00:44:47,156 --> 00:44:50,036 Cause I've got two sisters who look like dog-ends on my sofa who need a date. 498 00:44:50,060 --> 00:44:53,767 - Piss off! - So spiteful. 499 00:44:55,362 --> 00:44:59,243 I don't know what she can do with a pair of scissors, you know what I mean? 500 00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:02,369 - I'd probably be worried... - Argh! 501 00:45:05,339 --> 00:45:08,857 - All right. - All right. Laraib, right? 502 00:45:08,881 --> 00:45:10,760 Who's this berk? 503 00:45:12,181 --> 00:45:13,829 Sam? 504 00:45:13,853 --> 00:45:16,086 You're gonna get pissed as a newt tonight. 505 00:45:17,857 --> 00:45:19,197 I could jump through your hoop. 506 00:45:19,221 --> 00:45:21,331 - Could you? - Yeah. 507 00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:23,258 How long are your arms? 508 00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:27,139 Longer than mine. 509 00:45:27,163 --> 00:45:29,878 - I'm long-limbed. - Right. 510 00:45:29,902 --> 00:45:31,946 This orange number? 511 00:45:31,970 --> 00:45:34,146 - I'm feeling like... - This yellow one. 512 00:45:34,170 --> 00:45:35,842 - Oh! - Oh! 513 00:45:41,881 --> 00:45:43,958 - You still wear this? - Nah! 514 00:45:43,982 --> 00:45:46,820 Sometimes. Fuck off, it's comfy. 515 00:46:20,447 --> 00:46:24,097 - Oh, darling, don't you do this. - More glamorous. 516 00:46:24,121 --> 00:46:25,967 - More glamorous than I? - Way more money. 517 00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:27,562 - More money than me. - More experience. 518 00:46:27,586 --> 00:46:29,267 - More experience! - More life wisdom. 519 00:46:29,291 --> 00:46:32,138 - Oh, you're killing me! - Oh! It's the heat. 520 00:46:32,162 --> 00:46:34,173 - I'd do anything for you. - I know you would. 521 00:46:34,197 --> 00:46:36,472 'Cause I would do the same for you, cheeky plonker. 522 00:46:36,496 --> 00:46:39,046 Would you eat my shit? 523 00:46:39,070 --> 00:46:42,544 - Fuck, no. No! - Yes, you would! 524 00:46:42,568 --> 00:46:44,546 If it was life or death, would you eat my shit? 525 00:46:44,570 --> 00:46:48,858 Mate, I am dying before I eat any of your turds. 526 00:46:48,882 --> 00:46:51,256 Will the slipper fit its princess? 527 00:46:53,579 --> 00:46:56,294 - Love that film. - Look at her. 528 00:46:56,318 --> 00:46:58,263 - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. 529 00:46:58,287 --> 00:47:02,971 You're gorgeous. Look at all this fucking hair! 530 00:47:05,965 --> 00:47:07,470 Thought you said this was live. 531 00:47:07,494 --> 00:47:09,538 I thought you said this is where fascination happens. 532 00:47:09,562 --> 00:47:13,170 - Give it a couple hours, please, please. - Laraibs! It's dead. 533 00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:17,339 Argh! Couple hours, a bit more. 534 00:47:18,912 --> 00:47:23,057 - You're lying. What do you take me for? - It's not my fault, it's not my fault. 535 00:47:23,081 --> 00:47:25,356 - Who's that? - He looks funny, don't he? 536 00:47:25,380 --> 00:47:27,358 Fucking hell. 537 00:47:27,382 --> 00:47:30,559 I'm not sure about this. You're gonna get caught. 538 00:47:30,583 --> 00:47:32,869 The only way I'm gonna get caught is if you tell him. 539 00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:34,629 And look, I'm not really gonna get with him, am I? 540 00:47:34,653 --> 00:47:36,873 Look at the state of him. Also, I'm saving myself. 541 00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:39,106 And this is juice, not alcohol. What's wrong about that? 542 00:47:39,130 --> 00:47:42,373 It's an establishment for all! 543 00:47:42,397 --> 00:47:44,078 How're my birds? 544 00:47:47,006 --> 00:47:51,646 - You got a cigarette? - I do have a cigarette for you. 545 00:47:51,670 --> 00:47:53,890 - You wanna give it here? - Do you want a cigarette? 546 00:47:53,914 --> 00:47:55,650 She doesn't smoke. 547 00:47:55,674 --> 00:47:57,894 Mm-mm. 548 00:48:01,449 --> 00:48:02,525 Go on. 549 00:48:02,549 --> 00:48:04,967 - You done? - Mm-mm. 550 00:48:04,991 --> 00:48:08,489 It's too much. There we go, well done. 551 00:48:10,689 --> 00:48:13,173 - Busy in here, innit, eh? - Yeah, well busy. 552 00:48:13,197 --> 00:48:16,068 - Busy on my pager, too. - Ah, popular guy! 553 00:48:17,102 --> 00:48:18,664 What we got here? 554 00:48:19,665 --> 00:48:21,676 Yeah... Oh! 555 00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:24,283 Vibrations. 556 00:48:24,307 --> 00:48:26,384 Here we go. 557 00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:37,967 Fucking hell! Me eyes look like two piss-holes in the sky. 558 00:48:37,991 --> 00:48:39,936 What I do for you. 559 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,698 Got something for you, though. Might make up for it a little bit. 560 00:48:43,722 --> 00:48:46,041 Ba-ba-ba! 561 00:48:46,065 --> 00:48:47,977 Calvin Klein, the latest. 562 00:48:48,001 --> 00:48:51,178 Cor, smells well nice! Did he buy you that? 563 00:48:52,335 --> 00:48:54,247 He's good for something. 564 00:48:55,701 --> 00:48:58,350 You're drunk, you liar. Yes, you are! 565 00:48:58,374 --> 00:48:59,956 Orange juice with bits. 566 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:02,288 - Fancy a dance? - Raving with the dead. 567 00:49:02,312 --> 00:49:04,257 - Yeah. - Go on, then. 568 00:49:04,281 --> 00:49:06,391 Let's go. 569 00:49:21,727 --> 00:49:23,465 Are you from 'round here? 570 00:49:24,466 --> 00:49:26,312 Only live 'round the corner. 571 00:49:28,272 --> 00:49:30,340 You sound well posh. 572 00:49:32,672 --> 00:49:34,584 Yeah, is that a good thing? 573 00:49:34,608 --> 00:49:36,190 Depends. 574 00:49:36,214 --> 00:49:38,282 Depends on what? 575 00:49:40,482 --> 00:49:44,000 Oh, that was shit! 576 00:49:44,024 --> 00:49:47,786 I feel like you're letting me win. I feel like this is on purpose. 577 00:49:49,326 --> 00:49:51,427 You're good, aren't you? 578 00:49:52,527 --> 00:49:55,398 Do you do this a lot? Fleece guys at snooker? 579 00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:01,074 Shut up, Chislehurst boy! 580 00:50:02,075 --> 00:50:04,119 Oh, that was shocking! 581 00:50:04,143 --> 00:50:05,615 That was so... 582 00:50:05,639 --> 00:50:08,090 Fucking 'ell! 583 00:50:08,114 --> 00:50:10,224 - It's my first time. - What were you saying? 584 00:50:10,248 --> 00:50:12,316 All big and clever. 585 00:50:13,548 --> 00:50:15,616 I ain't gonna be your bit of rough. 586 00:50:16,617 --> 00:50:18,718 You make me really nervous, you know that? 587 00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,796 - Do I? - Yeah. 588 00:50:21,820 --> 00:50:24,097 You don't make me nervous. 589 00:50:25,791 --> 00:50:28,209 How does thmake you feel? 590 00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:30,772 Uh... 591 00:50:30,796 --> 00:50:32,642 Like I need another drink. 592 00:50:44,810 --> 00:50:47,063 Can you hear that? 593 00:51:36,301 --> 00:51:38,567 It's your go. 594 00:51:40,701 --> 00:51:44,870 It's your go. 595 00:52:13,173 --> 00:52:16,218 Can I... Can I stay here tonight, please? 596 00:52:16,242 --> 00:52:18,385 Can you get Michelle to call my mum? 597 00:52:33,622 --> 00:52:37,437 Maria, make me bread and water, please. 598 00:52:37,461 --> 00:52:39,925 Promise. 599 00:54:20,663 --> 00:54:22,764 Crack the egg. 600 00:55:02,100 --> 00:55:04,344 I was a crack baby. 601 00:55:06,643 --> 00:55:09,448 That's how I ended up here with Michelle. 602 00:55:11,879 --> 00:55:13,947 In and out of places. 603 00:55:16,785 --> 00:55:18,853 Sorry. 604 00:56:03,766 --> 00:56:06,382 One good turn... 605 00:56:06,406 --> 00:56:08,100 deserves another. 606 00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:57,655 Oi. 607 00:56:58,722 --> 00:57:00,790 What ya playing at? 608 00:57:07,533 --> 00:57:10,644 Mum, can you call Laraib's dad, please, 609 00:57:10,668 --> 00:57:13,165 - let them know she's here? - Again? 610 00:57:39,125 --> 00:57:41,028 My God, Maria. 611 00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:45,571 You piss like a horse. 612 00:58:00,047 --> 00:58:02,564 Uh-huh. 613 00:58:02,588 --> 00:58:05,094 - You know how you get milk? - How? 614 00:58:05,118 --> 00:58:08,702 They drill holes in your cows, and they come out like that. 615 00:58:08,726 --> 00:58:10,000 - Oh, do they? - Uh-huh. 616 00:58:10,024 --> 00:58:11,837 You know what? They do worse to women. 617 00:58:11,861 --> 00:58:14,103 Worse to women? Worse than cows? 618 00:58:14,127 --> 00:58:16,611 Hard on top soggy on bottom, just the way I like it. 619 00:58:16,635 --> 00:58:19,207 Oh, I know that's how you like it. 620 00:58:20,639 --> 00:58:23,915 - Oh, my God! - Open the door! 621 00:58:23,939 --> 00:58:26,214 Open the door! 622 00:58:26,238 --> 00:58:28,306 Where is she? 623 00:58:30,715 --> 00:58:31,914 Where is she? 624 00:58:32,915 --> 00:58:35,157 - Really? Really? - What? 625 00:58:35,181 --> 00:58:37,962 Enough of this bullshit. Move, move, move. Out. 626 00:58:37,986 --> 00:58:41,867 Michelle rang to say I was here, didn't she? 627 00:58:41,891 --> 00:58:47,202 Janice? Who the fuck is Janice? What, you? You?! Fucking nosy Parker! 628 00:58:47,226 --> 00:58:49,105 - Just move. - What did I do?! 629 00:58:49,129 --> 00:58:52,108 - Really? - Love you lots, my lady. 630 00:58:52,132 --> 00:58:54,143 Come on, move. 631 00:58:54,167 --> 00:58:57,179 - What the fuck are you looking at? - Hi, how are you? 632 00:58:57,203 --> 00:58:59,645 Just get inside and shut up. 633 00:59:01,141 --> 00:59:03,209 'Orrible. 634 00:59:10,755 --> 00:59:13,593 Fuck sake! Sod's law. 635 00:59:19,027 --> 00:59:24,613 Oh, shit, it's my A-level certificates. I gotta sign, right? 636 00:59:24,637 --> 00:59:29,169 Does Maria Strepp live here? Daughter of... Cynthia Strepp? 637 00:59:31,336 --> 00:59:33,206 Once, yeah. That is me. 638 00:59:34,207 --> 00:59:36,185 I'm, uh... 639 00:59:36,209 --> 00:59:38,079 sorry for your loss. 640 00:59:40,851 --> 00:59:45,029 Bit late, mate. Surely you don't hold on to those for this long. 641 00:59:45,053 --> 00:59:46,899 It's been over ten years. 642 00:59:46,923 --> 00:59:48,769 Miss Strepp, we only deliver recently deceased. 643 00:59:48,793 --> 00:59:52,863 So, she would have died sometime in the last... two weeks? 644 00:59:53,930 --> 00:59:55,998 Sorry for your loss. 645 00:59:57,230 --> 00:59:59,199 I'm delivering Broomfield now. 646 01:00:00,398 --> 01:00:04,072 You wanna put some witch hazel on that. Works wonders. 647 01:00:05,843 --> 01:00:08,813 I'm on a timer, you see, love. So sorry again. 648 01:00:31,363 --> 01:00:33,431 So, you're the woman, huh? 649 01:00:36,808 --> 01:00:38,370 Do you want a bit? 650 01:00:48,952 --> 01:00:53,834 Dad's sending me away. Um, he's sending me away for good. 651 01:00:53,858 --> 01:00:56,100 And I... And I don't know when I'm coming back. 652 01:00:56,124 --> 01:00:57,970 - What do you mean? - He's sending me away... 653 01:00:57,994 --> 01:01:00,005 What do you mean, going away? To... To Kurdistan? 654 01:01:00,029 --> 01:01:03,844 I can't go there, no-one can. But I don't know where I'm being sent. 655 01:01:03,868 --> 01:01:08,244 And... And I'm getting back for an exorcism. 656 01:01:08,268 --> 01:01:12,215 And they... they said I'm not coming back, and... 657 01:01:12,239 --> 01:01:14,723 And he found out about everything, Maria. 658 01:01:14,747 --> 01:01:17,253 He found out about the pub, he found out about Pete, 659 01:01:17,277 --> 01:01:21,994 And Kadeeja just stood there. Just stood there, and didn't say anything. 660 01:01:22,018 --> 01:01:24,161 We're supposed to grow old together. What do you mean? 661 01:01:24,185 --> 01:01:25,833 - We can't! - You're not going away! 662 01:01:25,857 --> 01:01:27,925 We can't. 663 01:01:29,322 --> 01:01:31,432 He said I'm going away for good. 664 01:01:31,456 --> 01:01:35,843 Birmingham tonight, and then I don't know where the next day, but... 665 01:01:35,867 --> 01:01:39,431 but it's over, and... 666 01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:43,809 I can't. I'm not coming back, I'm not coming back. 667 01:01:45,272 --> 01:01:47,151 Maria. 668 01:01:47,175 --> 01:01:49,153 Open the door! 669 01:01:49,177 --> 01:01:51,793 I wouldn't even mind, look, I didn't even do anything with him. 670 01:01:51,817 --> 01:01:54,158 - You know I didn't do anything with him. - I know, I'll tell him. 671 01:01:54,182 --> 01:01:56,490 - Wallahi, I didn't! - I'll tell 'em all, I promise. 672 01:01:56,514 --> 01:01:58,261 Be good for me, yeah? 673 01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:14,655 Michelle said she'll be 'ome later tonight. 674 01:05:14,679 --> 01:05:16,956 She's workin' overtime. 675 01:05:21,224 --> 01:05:24,293 Oi. You deaf or summin'? 676 01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:28,234 Stupid. 677 01:09:33,905 --> 01:09:36,842 Why do you always look at me like I'm gonna turn into stone? 678 01:09:47,556 --> 01:09:49,624 Hello? 679 01:09:52,231 --> 01:09:54,671 I'm out on a late. I got a double shift. 680 01:09:54,695 --> 01:09:56,541 - Got ya lunch? - Think so. 681 01:09:56,565 --> 01:09:59,238 - Got ya keys? - Yeah. 682 01:10:16,585 --> 01:10:18,653 You just woke up? 683 01:10:20,853 --> 01:10:22,633 The 'ouse has a stitch. 684 01:10:27,629 --> 01:10:29,574 Let's let it breathe, then. 685 01:10:40,477 --> 01:10:43,753 - So, when you leaving? - Why? 686 01:10:43,777 --> 01:10:46,549 - Can't wait to see the back of me? - Give it a rest! 687 01:10:48,683 --> 01:10:52,663 Couple weeks. Just tryna get into this one 'ouse. Seems to be taking forever. 688 01:10:52,687 --> 01:10:55,534 It's always when you don't want somethin' it's easier. 689 01:10:58,396 --> 01:11:00,704 Oh, is it, yeah? 690 01:11:00,728 --> 01:11:03,311 You're very, uh... 691 01:11:03,335 --> 01:11:04,972 well-read, aren't ya? 692 01:11:04,996 --> 01:11:07,843 Am I? You're not. 693 01:11:07,867 --> 01:11:11,011 You fire a lotta shots, don't ya? 694 01:11:11,035 --> 01:11:13,873 Ain't worth the bullet. 695 01:11:15,677 --> 01:11:17,688 I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. 696 01:11:19,318 --> 01:11:21,815 Oi. Don't be like that. 697 01:11:32,496 --> 01:11:34,738 By hook, by crook. 698 01:11:43,342 --> 01:11:47,652 Oompa Loompa, stick it up your jumper. 699 01:11:47,676 --> 01:11:49,654 ...stick it up your jumper. 700 01:11:49,678 --> 01:11:51,887 ...I'll make you squirm! 701 01:11:51,911 --> 01:11:54,659 You wiggly worm, I'll make you squirm. 702 01:11:54,683 --> 01:11:56,958 And when it's time for bed, 703 01:11:56,982 --> 01:11:59,796 I'll talk and talk until you wish you were dead! 704 01:11:59,820 --> 01:12:03,965 Oompa Loompa! Stick it up your jumper! 705 01:12:03,989 --> 01:12:07,100 You little worm, I'll make you squirm! 706 01:12:07,124 --> 01:12:08,970 ...wish you were dead! 707 01:12:08,994 --> 01:12:13,579 ...I'll talk and talk until you wish you were dead! 708 01:12:13,603 --> 01:12:16,043 Maria. 709 01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:19,684 Maria. Maria, they're coming. Maria, let's go. 710 01:12:19,708 --> 01:12:21,851 Maria! 711 01:12:25,681 --> 01:12:29,056 Oi, who do you think you are? Get off my garden! 712 01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:32,829 What do you think you're doing here? I'm 'avin the law on you! 713 01:12:32,853 --> 01:12:35,964 You little tea leaves! Get off her! Get out of here! 714 01:12:35,988 --> 01:12:38,056 Goose it! 715 01:12:40,630 --> 01:12:42,674 What do you think you are, a fucking bullfighter?! 716 01:12:42,698 --> 01:12:44,832 Get off my garden! 717 01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:49,912 - Hang about. - Your missus is 'ere. 718 01:12:49,936 --> 01:12:52,618 A looker, Michael. Well out of your league. 719 01:13:10,858 --> 01:13:12,572 - Yeah. - Or just take it easy. 720 01:13:12,596 --> 01:13:14,035 Oh, here he is. 721 01:13:14,059 --> 01:13:16,543 - Hiya. - Hiya, how you doing? 722 01:13:16,567 --> 01:13:19,414 Yeah, good, yeah. 723 01:13:19,438 --> 01:13:21,746 So, yeah, we're thinking of painting the walls yellow. 724 01:13:21,770 --> 01:13:25,717 Yellow? Bit sickly, innit? No, it's in, and... 725 01:13:25,741 --> 01:13:27,015 We don't know what it is yet. 726 01:13:27,039 --> 01:13:28,687 - Aw! - Yeah. 727 01:13:28,711 --> 01:13:31,184 Old school! 728 01:13:31,208 --> 01:13:33,153 Sun's nice, innit? 729 01:13:33,177 --> 01:13:35,529 Can't believe it's gonna piss down in an hour. 730 01:13:35,553 --> 01:13:37,489 Well, it never goes up, does it? 731 01:13:39,084 --> 01:13:42,503 You're so weird. She's off her trolley, mate. 732 01:13:42,527 --> 01:13:45,671 Grab Maria, will ya? I got some clothes the girls don't want. 733 01:13:45,695 --> 01:13:47,200 See if she fancies 'em. 734 01:13:47,224 --> 01:13:50,964 - Maria? Come down 'ere a minute? - One sec! 735 01:13:52,031 --> 01:13:54,539 - Ooh, that's nice. - Yeah, I think she'd love 'em. 736 01:13:56,673 --> 01:13:59,146 Hi, what you think of these, Maria? 737 01:13:59,170 --> 01:14:00,983 So? 738 01:14:01,007 --> 01:14:04,549 Oh, look, this is Leah, Michael's girlfriend. 739 01:14:05,550 --> 01:14:08,089 I just realised all three of you got names beginning with M. 740 01:14:08,113 --> 01:14:11,026 - Nice to meet ya. - How strange. 741 01:14:11,050 --> 01:14:12,887 Give us a hug. 742 01:14:13,921 --> 01:14:15,536 Aw. 743 01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:17,604 Right, let's get you home, shall we? 744 01:14:17,628 --> 01:14:19,199 You need some early nights. 745 01:14:19,223 --> 01:14:21,201 - "We", you mean. - "We." 746 01:14:21,225 --> 01:14:23,236 Look at the state of it. 747 01:14:23,260 --> 01:14:24,974 The state of it. 748 01:14:24,998 --> 01:14:27,207 Oh, Michael, did she get home okay? 749 01:14:27,231 --> 01:14:29,649 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. Oh, she's lovely. 750 01:14:29,673 --> 01:14:30,848 Yeah. 751 01:14:30,872 --> 01:14:32,883 Michael, if you was on Blind Date, 752 01:14:32,907 --> 01:14:35,149 what would your statement be? 753 01:14:35,173 --> 01:14:39,890 "Michael from South East London will take you and ya bins out." 754 01:14:41,883 --> 01:14:43,885 Behave, girls! 755 01:14:45,524 --> 01:14:46,822 Oh. 756 01:14:47,823 --> 01:14:48,866 Look at that one. 757 01:15:02,838 --> 01:15:05,652 I'm gonna be a dad. 758 01:15:05,676 --> 01:15:07,744 S'pose. 759 01:15:09,306 --> 01:15:11,682 I dunno, it just happened so fast. 760 01:15:12,782 --> 01:15:14,826 That's what she said. 761 01:15:14,850 --> 01:15:16,918 Div. 762 01:15:25,025 --> 01:15:26,937 I gotta cut some of the pensioners' hair tomorrow. 763 01:15:26,961 --> 01:15:30,105 - Oh, yeah, great. - There's some pastry in the fridge. 764 01:15:30,129 --> 01:15:32,646 - We can stick it in the microwave, yeah? - Night! 765 01:15:32,670 --> 01:15:36,234 - Thank you, bye! Bye. - See you tomorrow. 766 01:15:39,336 --> 01:15:42,845 Don't put that straight back in the fridge, will ya? 'Cause we'll all get ill. 767 01:15:44,715 --> 01:15:47,595 I remember when you both turned up here. 768 01:15:47,619 --> 01:15:50,125 Little rapscallions. 769 01:15:50,149 --> 01:15:53,601 Right...'night. 770 01:15:53,625 --> 01:15:54,965 'Night, Michelle. 771 01:16:45,908 --> 01:16:47,853 Red sky at night... 772 01:16:47,877 --> 01:16:49,945 shepherd's delight. 773 01:17:06,962 --> 01:17:08,973 What have you done, Maria? 774 01:17:13,397 --> 01:17:15,716 Rat King. 775 01:17:15,740 --> 01:17:17,916 What did you just say? 776 01:17:19,942 --> 01:17:22,010 I didn't say anything. 777 01:17:31,756 --> 01:17:33,824 I'm mad about ya. 778 01:17:56,781 --> 01:17:58,849 I mean it. 779 01:17:59,949 --> 01:18:02,380 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 780 01:18:04,349 --> 01:18:06,417 'Ave over, Paul Weller. 781 01:18:18,231 --> 01:18:19,978 Boo! 782 01:18:20,002 --> 01:18:22,334 Berk! 783 01:18:24,105 --> 01:18:25,412 Why are you home? 784 01:18:25,436 --> 01:18:27,150 - Huh? - Why are you home? 785 01:18:27,174 --> 01:18:29,152 Oh, uh, well, I felt a bit poorly. 786 01:18:29,176 --> 01:18:31,286 So, I thought we could spend a day together. 787 01:18:31,310 --> 01:18:33,255 Well, I've got stuff to do. 788 01:18:33,279 --> 01:18:34,861 - Oh, you got stuff to do? - Yeah. 789 01:18:34,885 --> 01:18:36,192 - Yeah, like what? - Mind ya own. 790 01:18:36,216 --> 01:18:38,161 Mind... All right. 791 01:19:11,350 --> 01:19:12,800 It's part of it. 792 01:19:12,824 --> 01:19:14,892 You're joking. 793 01:19:16,157 --> 01:19:18,168 You're pulling my leg. 794 01:19:18,192 --> 01:19:20,467 Do you make me right, though? 795 01:19:20,491 --> 01:19:22,559 Don't be daft. 796 01:19:25,529 --> 01:19:27,243 We can't do that. 797 01:19:27,267 --> 01:19:29,278 I want you to press it here like before. 798 01:19:29,302 --> 01:19:31,478 Before? 799 01:19:31,502 --> 01:19:35,185 Yes, yes, yes! 800 01:19:38,982 --> 01:19:40,852 You're a funny little biscuit. 801 01:19:48,222 --> 01:19:52,037 - We gotta get you to the hospital. - It's a bruise, that's all. 802 01:19:52,061 --> 01:19:53,997 Just take ya shorts off, all right? 803 01:19:55,900 --> 01:19:57,504 And get ya waist in. 804 01:20:13,478 --> 01:20:15,291 Why aren't you at work? 805 01:20:15,315 --> 01:20:18,833 Went to meet you for lunch, the boys said you didn't even call. 806 01:20:18,857 --> 01:20:21,198 They all thought I was 'avin the baby, absolute numbskulls. 807 01:20:21,222 --> 01:20:23,937 Honestly, they think a baby takes six months. 808 01:20:23,961 --> 01:20:25,499 Full of sh... 809 01:20:25,523 --> 01:20:30,372 I was quite sick in the night, babe. Don't want you and the baby to get it. 810 01:20:30,396 --> 01:20:33,210 Right, well, why didn't you call me and let me know? 811 01:20:33,234 --> 01:20:35,302 And why is your shirt wet? 812 01:20:36,303 --> 01:20:38,050 I was having a bath. 813 01:20:38,074 --> 01:20:40,855 - 'Ere? That's a bit weird. - Nah, no-one's in. 814 01:20:40,879 --> 01:20:43,121 I just, uh... Listen, I really don't feel well. 815 01:20:43,145 --> 01:20:45,156 - Well, can I come in, then? - Nah, it's best if ya... 816 01:20:45,180 --> 01:20:47,026 best if ya don't, I think. 817 01:20:47,050 --> 01:20:49,061 - All right, you can just fuck off. - No, Leah, Leah, Leah... 818 01:20:49,085 --> 01:20:51,890 - Here's your lunch too, silly bollocks. - Don't be like that. 819 01:20:56,994 --> 01:20:59,062 What are you playing at? 820 01:21:00,459 --> 01:21:03,240 I can smell a memory. 821 01:21:03,264 --> 01:21:05,242 We've gotta put some Savlon on it. 822 01:21:05,266 --> 01:21:07,334 Right? It's not? 823 01:21:09,072 --> 01:21:11,545 Not yet. 824 01:21:11,569 --> 01:21:13,349 Come here. 825 01:22:58,742 --> 01:23:01,019 You all right, love? 826 01:23:04,055 --> 01:23:06,288 Oh, that's charming. 827 01:23:38,089 --> 01:23:40,223 Can I help ya? 828 01:23:41,587 --> 01:23:43,655 Is it a present? 829 01:23:45,426 --> 01:23:48,759 In fact, it is. For my daughter for Christmas. 830 01:23:50,101 --> 01:23:52,763 What's your name? Come sit next to me. 831 01:23:55,634 --> 01:23:57,768 Can I have it for sumfin'? 832 01:23:58,769 --> 01:24:01,574 Well... never know ya luck. 833 01:24:03,279 --> 01:24:04,784 If it's good enough. 834 01:24:04,808 --> 01:24:07,382 Risk it for a biscuit, that's what they say. 835 01:24:18,723 --> 01:24:21,174 You ought to ask Santa buy you a new pair of drawers, love. 836 01:24:21,198 --> 01:24:25,235 I can see your skid marks! 837 01:24:36,246 --> 01:24:38,323 I wish you well to use it! 838 01:24:40,283 --> 01:24:41,392 Piss-head. 839 01:25:08,311 --> 01:25:10,652 She ain't all there, your mate, is she, Mike? 840 01:25:10,676 --> 01:25:12,588 A few sandwiches short of a loaf, boy! 841 01:25:12,612 --> 01:25:15,195 Good job ya never spunked in that one, son! 842 01:25:15,219 --> 01:25:17,287 - Hey-hey! - Piss off! 843 01:25:18,387 --> 01:25:20,431 Maria, what is that? 844 01:25:20,455 --> 01:25:22,433 Maria, where did you get that?! 845 01:25:22,457 --> 01:25:25,172 Even your own shit can blind ya. 846 01:25:25,196 --> 01:25:27,306 Hang on, I'm asking you where did you get it? 847 01:25:27,330 --> 01:25:29,398 It's not for you! 848 01:25:30,399 --> 01:25:32,608 - I thought we did this together. - Yeah, well, even worms turn. 849 01:25:32,632 --> 01:25:34,511 What are you on about? Have you taken something? 850 01:25:34,535 --> 01:25:36,612 Where there's no sense, there's no feelin', is there? 851 01:25:36,636 --> 01:25:37,934 Pudding 'ead! 852 01:25:44,413 --> 01:25:47,260 Get off! 853 01:25:47,284 --> 01:25:51,825 Get off! Get off me! Get off! 854 01:25:51,849 --> 01:25:55,565 Get off! Leave me be! Leave me be! 855 01:25:55,589 --> 01:25:57,204 - Leave me be! - I'm trying to play! 856 01:25:57,228 --> 01:25:59,833 I'm fed up of you trying to conduct what's in me. 857 01:25:59,857 --> 01:26:01,793 Get lost! 858 01:26:02,794 --> 01:26:05,377 A green-eyed monster's not a good look for you, you know that? 859 01:26:05,401 --> 01:26:08,743 You know, you can be real fucking nasty, do you know that? 860 01:26:08,767 --> 01:26:12,384 - Oi, no need for that. - You can piss of an' all! 861 01:26:12,408 --> 01:26:14,188 Nasty man. 862 01:26:33,858 --> 01:26:36,366 Hello? You in? 863 01:26:37,565 --> 01:26:40,280 Fuck's sake, what's that smell? 864 01:26:40,304 --> 01:26:42,537 Ooh, it's boilin' in 'ere. 865 01:26:51,777 --> 01:26:54,756 Did Michael say he's staying at Leah's tonight? 866 01:26:57,981 --> 01:27:00,696 Why is the heating on? 867 01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:03,402 - What the hell? What's this? - What? 868 01:27:03,426 --> 01:27:05,437 - What do you mean, "what"? - Dunno what that is, Mum. 869 01:27:05,461 --> 01:27:07,991 Well, take a butchers. Bleedin' reeks in there! 870 01:27:09,399 --> 01:27:11,542 Is this you or Michael? 871 01:27:11,566 --> 01:27:13,973 Well, I best 'ave a word with him when he gets in. 872 01:27:13,997 --> 01:27:15,744 Take 'em to the bin outside, will ya? 873 01:27:19,871 --> 01:27:22,520 What is it? 874 01:27:22,544 --> 01:27:24,612 Is this a joke? 875 01:27:25,580 --> 01:27:27,648 What's that face for? 876 01:27:30,816 --> 01:27:32,884 Grumpy cow. 877 01:27:51,408 --> 01:27:55,322 There's shit all on the skirtin'. 878 01:27:55,346 --> 01:27:57,456 Looks like crusty mince everywhere. 879 01:27:57,480 --> 01:28:00,822 You not noticed? I never noticed. 880 01:28:00,846 --> 01:28:03,387 It's fucking sweatin' in 'ere. 881 01:28:04,520 --> 01:28:06,960 I suppose I'll have to pay for that an' all. 882 01:28:06,984 --> 01:28:09,061 Why is the heating on? It's not even cold out today. 883 01:28:09,085 --> 01:28:10,733 I was cold. 884 01:28:10,757 --> 01:28:12,603 Well, stick a jumper on, then. 885 01:28:12,627 --> 01:28:14,737 What exactly do you do all day? 886 01:28:14,761 --> 01:28:17,674 Would it hurt you to tidy up a bit? Eh? 887 01:28:17,698 --> 01:28:20,413 I've come in every night, and you're nowhere to be found. 888 01:28:20,437 --> 01:28:23,647 I'm running around like a blue-arsed fly, tidying up after ya. 889 01:28:23,671 --> 01:28:26,683 It's like a bloody dosshouse in 'ere. 890 01:28:26,707 --> 01:28:29,323 You can't keep doing nothin' all day. 891 01:28:29,347 --> 01:28:31,008 It's five months since ya left school. 892 01:28:32,009 --> 01:28:33,987 Cor, it fuckin' stinks in 'ere. 893 01:28:34,011 --> 01:28:37,595 And you, you smell like a rat's crawled up your arse and died. 894 01:28:37,619 --> 01:28:40,490 When was the last time you had a bath? Or a shower? 895 01:28:42,085 --> 01:28:43,724 Dunno what to say. 896 01:28:44,923 --> 01:28:46,901 I've had it up to here. 897 01:28:46,925 --> 01:28:49,125 I can't take it, I'm going to Sam's. 898 01:28:51,094 --> 01:28:54,612 For crying out loud, start helping me out a bit, will ya? 899 01:28:54,636 --> 01:28:56,680 Start in the living room. 900 01:28:56,704 --> 01:28:58,772 Fuck's sake. 901 01:30:14,914 --> 01:30:16,685 Bins. 902 01:30:17,818 --> 01:30:19,886 They hold secrets in them. 903 01:30:33,603 --> 01:30:35,671 Hello, darling. 904 01:30:36,837 --> 01:30:40,742 And I'll call you... Salt and Vinegar. 905 01:30:57,990 --> 01:31:01,257 It's my stream. And I'm rowing in it tonight. 906 01:31:41,935 --> 01:31:43,134 Stillbirth. 907 01:31:48,073 --> 01:31:50,689 I carried her the whole nine yards. 908 01:31:50,713 --> 01:31:52,781 It was the doctor's fault. 909 01:31:55,817 --> 01:31:58,565 I hear her. 910 01:31:58,589 --> 01:32:02,162 I... You know, her voice before she had one... 911 01:32:02,186 --> 01:32:04,131 See... 912 01:32:04,155 --> 01:32:06,133 you can't break mothers' bonds. 913 01:32:11,294 --> 01:32:13,712 [WomaWhen babies lay on their mother's chest, 914 01:32:13,736 --> 01:32:16,332 no matter what age, their heartbeats will sync up. 915 01:32:18,609 --> 01:32:20,677 Did you know that? 916 01:32:24,142 --> 01:32:26,650 [MariYou ought to get a coat. 917 01:32:49,200 --> 01:32:53,015 [WomaGrief will take you with it, if you let it. 918 01:33:26,138 --> 01:33:28,041 Where've you been? 919 01:33:29,108 --> 01:33:30,307 Eh? 920 01:33:31,682 --> 01:33:34,155 Your lips are blue. Eh? 921 01:33:34,179 --> 01:33:36,247 You're back. 922 01:33:40,284 --> 01:33:43,032 You're freezing, ya wally. 923 01:33:43,056 --> 01:33:44,959 I've got the irits, Michael. 924 01:33:55,299 --> 01:33:58,973 Chillblains. You heard of socks and shoes? 925 01:34:04,407 --> 01:34:06,948 It's cold. 926 01:34:13,284 --> 01:34:15,726 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 927 01:34:20,929 --> 01:34:23,369 God, it really stings. 928 01:34:23,393 --> 01:34:25,745 Ain't gonna help you. 929 01:34:53,995 --> 01:34:56,063 Won't this feed it? 930 01:36:27,418 --> 01:36:29,959 It's not just like that, you know. 931 01:36:39,936 --> 01:36:42,004 There are other things. 932 01:36:43,533 --> 01:36:46,008 Lots of other things. 933 01:37:03,355 --> 01:37:05,929 Those'll have to come off, too. 934 01:37:12,463 --> 01:37:14,531 Do you want me to? 935 01:37:26,246 --> 01:37:28,158 If you must. 936 01:39:16,356 --> 01:39:20,369 I'll call you... Salt and Vinegary. 937 01:39:28,236 --> 01:39:29,741 Hello. 938 01:39:33,076 --> 01:39:35,186 Cor, blimey! 939 01:39:42,118 --> 01:39:44,417 Oh, hello, darling. Come in. 940 01:39:45,715 --> 01:39:47,594 We were meant to be going out, um... 941 01:39:47,618 --> 01:39:51,202 I think he went out on the lash with his mates last night. 942 01:39:51,226 --> 01:39:54,634 - Is he in, Michelle? - He... He's not really decent, Leah. 943 01:39:54,658 --> 01:39:56,570 Musta been pissed as a fart. 944 01:39:56,594 --> 01:39:58,233 God, what is he like? 945 01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:02,765 Is that what I think it is? 946 01:40:04,371 --> 01:40:07,317 - He asked me yesterday. - Aw! 947 01:40:07,341 --> 01:40:11,519 Oh, don't worry about her, she sleeps enough as it is. 948 01:40:11,543 --> 01:40:14,348 Go on, you go in and wake him up. I'll stick the kettle on. 949 01:40:19,320 --> 01:40:21,529 Lazy git. Michael! 950 01:40:21,553 --> 01:40:23,621 Michael. 951 01:40:25,227 --> 01:40:27,634 Why are you wearing nothing? 952 01:40:27,658 --> 01:40:29,669 Ugh. 953 01:40:29,693 --> 01:40:32,705 Look, we were meant to be goin' out. What's that smell? It smells... 954 01:40:32,729 --> 01:40:36,115 Is that you? Smells salt and vinegary. 955 01:40:36,139 --> 01:40:39,481 Uh, sorry. Yeah, uh... 956 01:40:39,505 --> 01:40:43,311 Well, hurry up and get ready, will you? I wanna get out of here. 957 01:40:45,412 --> 01:40:48,151 You all right? 958 01:40:50,615 --> 01:40:53,693 Here, they're getting married. Just saw the ring. 959 01:40:53,717 --> 01:40:56,564 It's a bit Argos catalogue-y, mind you. 960 01:40:56,588 --> 01:40:59,327 Here, take this to Leah, will ya? 961 01:41:06,532 --> 01:41:08,699 Does it look like its gonna snow to you? 962 01:41:09,700 --> 01:41:11,768 Here, nice cup of tea for you. 963 01:41:14,144 --> 01:41:16,476 Mothercare's gonna be shut at this rate. 964 01:41:19,281 --> 01:41:21,349 Oh. Cheers, Maria. 965 01:41:24,121 --> 01:41:28,200 Well... congratulations, then, boy! 966 01:41:28,224 --> 01:41:30,292 Kept that a secret, didn't ya? 967 01:41:36,529 --> 01:41:38,738 It felt like the right time, you know. 968 01:41:38,762 --> 01:41:41,864 Only been asking him God knows how long. 969 01:41:45,604 --> 01:41:47,813 Doing anything nice today, you two? 970 01:41:47,837 --> 01:41:50,642 Just a bit of food shopping, get the turkey. 971 01:41:59,750 --> 01:42:02,465 Cor, can't believe these are still damp. 972 01:42:02,489 --> 01:42:04,425 Been on 'ere since Thursday. 973 01:42:05,558 --> 01:42:08,273 We should get going, shouldn't we? 974 01:42:08,297 --> 01:42:10,374 Um... Oh, Michelle, I wanted to say, 975 01:42:10,398 --> 01:42:12,673 I think there might be something wrong with your heating. 976 01:42:12,697 --> 01:42:14,609 I think that's why I was so hot last night, 977 01:42:14,633 --> 01:42:16,446 but I'll give it a check when I come back, all right? 978 01:42:16,470 --> 01:42:19,242 - You'll give it a check later? - Yeah. 979 01:42:20,342 --> 01:42:24,289 You know shit about heating. You're a dustbin man, not a plumber. 980 01:42:27,547 --> 01:42:29,615 Thanks for the tea, Maria. 981 01:42:35,555 --> 01:42:39,403 Oi. You've been funny with me all day. 982 01:42:39,427 --> 01:42:41,603 Oi. Won't even look at... 983 01:42:41,627 --> 01:42:43,242 Why won't you ev... 984 01:42:57,511 --> 01:43:00,193 Hey, what happened? Help! 985 01:43:02,252 --> 01:43:03,889 "Timothy..." 986 01:43:03,913 --> 01:43:06,265 "6:7." 987 01:43:06,289 --> 01:43:08,762 "For we have brought nothing into this world," 988 01:43:08,786 --> 01:43:11,468 "so we cannot take anything out of it either." 989 01:43:11,492 --> 01:43:14,834 Hey, hey. She ain't well. We need to help, Maria. 990 01:43:14,858 --> 01:43:16,440 Maria! 991 01:43:16,464 --> 01:43:19,674 "Matthew, 6:19." 992 01:43:19,698 --> 01:43:23,348 She's not listening to herself, let me have it, you daft cow! 993 01:43:23,372 --> 01:43:26,870 Feed the grief... Maria. 994 01:43:28,410 --> 01:43:29,783 What do we do? 995 01:43:29,807 --> 01:43:31,488 Hey. 996 01:43:31,512 --> 01:43:33,655 What do we do? 997 01:43:33,679 --> 01:43:35,747 Hey... 998 01:43:40,950 --> 01:43:44,591 This ain't right. I'm gonna get help. Stay there. 999 01:44:07,317 --> 01:44:09,385 A bushel... 1000 01:44:10,419 --> 01:44:12,958 ...and a peck. 1001 01:44:22,530 --> 01:44:24,970 I'm sorry this has happened to us. 1002 01:45:32,534 --> 01:45:34,479 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 1003 01:45:34,503 --> 01:45:36,041 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran 1004 01:45:36,065 --> 01:45:37,845 with his finger up his bum to see what was the matter. 1005 01:45:37,869 --> 01:45:39,583 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 1006 01:45:39,607 --> 01:45:41,079 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran 1007 01:45:41,103 --> 01:45:42,883 with his finger up his bum to see what was the matter. 1008 01:45:42,907 --> 01:45:44,621 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 1009 01:45:44,645 --> 01:45:46,623 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran 1010 01:45:46,647 --> 01:45:48,625 with his finger up his bum to see what was the matter. 1011 01:45:48,649 --> 01:45:50,396 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 1012 01:45:50,420 --> 01:45:51,892 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran 1013 01:45:51,916 --> 01:45:54,059 with his finger up his bum... 1014 01:45:54,083 --> 01:45:55,863 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line, 1015 01:45:55,887 --> 01:45:58,404 the monkey chewed tobacco and a little piggy ran... 1016 01:45:58,428 --> 01:46:00,439 What's that? 1017 01:46:02,124 --> 01:46:05,136 Where the fuck have you been? Been worried sick. 1018 01:46:05,160 --> 01:46:09,041 We've had the police 'round, they're out lookin' for you an' all. 1019 01:46:09,065 --> 01:46:12,011 - Call em, Ellie. Let em know, yeah? - All right. 1020 01:46:12,035 --> 01:46:15,080 - ...The monkey chewed tobacco... - She on drugs? 1021 01:46:15,104 --> 01:46:16,653 ...to see what was the matter. 1022 01:46:16,677 --> 01:46:18,985 Look at you. Where've you been? 1023 01:46:19,009 --> 01:46:22,428 I thought that granny rapist might a gotcha. 1024 01:46:22,452 --> 01:46:26,861 Michael told me what happened last night. He's gonna have to give a statement. 1025 01:46:26,885 --> 01:46:29,094 You'll have to an' all. 1026 01:46:29,118 --> 01:46:30,838 Once upon a time, a bird shit on the line... 1027 01:46:32,726 --> 01:46:35,738 Michelle, she might just be in shock. Maybe we should let her. 1028 01:46:35,762 --> 01:46:40,446 She fucking stinks. I've had it up to here, I can't take it. 1029 01:46:40,470 --> 01:46:42,943 - This house does, too. - What the fuck, Michael?! 1030 01:46:42,967 --> 01:46:46,452 A message on my sister's answer machine. Are you shitting me? 1031 01:46:46,476 --> 01:46:50,687 You cowardly streak of piss! You good-for-nothing... 1032 01:46:50,711 --> 01:46:53,954 So, you're leaving me? You don't want me or the baby, yeah? 1033 01:46:53,978 --> 01:46:55,791 It's her, innit, it's you! 1034 01:46:59,181 --> 01:47:01,863 - You get back down here, you! - Michael, what's going on? 1035 01:47:01,887 --> 01:47:04,602 Maria, open the door! 1036 01:47:04,626 --> 01:47:06,868 Open the door now! 1037 01:47:09,532 --> 01:47:11,840 Can you feel me now? 1038 01:47:11,864 --> 01:47:15,679 Close your eyes, Maria. Let's play a game. 1039 01:47:15,703 --> 01:47:17,549 Hot or cold? 1040 01:47:25,141 --> 01:47:27,460 This wasn't just it, Maria. 1041 01:47:27,484 --> 01:47:29,990 You're freezing. 1042 01:47:30,014 --> 01:47:31,761 Open the door, Maria! 1043 01:47:34,689 --> 01:47:37,129 Maria, open the door! 1044 01:47:37,153 --> 01:47:39,604 ...in me own house. Am I a mug?! 1045 01:47:39,628 --> 01:47:41,969 Maria, open the door now! 1046 01:47:41,993 --> 01:47:44,939 It's all right, love, it's all right. There's just been a mix-up. 1047 01:47:44,963 --> 01:47:47,768 Maria! Open the door now, please, love. 1048 01:47:52,135 --> 01:47:54,005 Maria, what have you done? 1049 01:47:55,776 --> 01:47:58,216 What have you done? 1050 01:48:18,964 --> 01:48:20,909 You're lukewarm now. 1051 01:48:35,178 --> 01:48:36,595 Warmer. 1052 01:48:57,607 --> 01:49:00,718 You're really hot now. 1053 01:49:00,742 --> 01:49:02,612 Where'd you get it all from? 1054 01:49:03,613 --> 01:49:05,307 Where'd you get it all from?! 1055 01:49:17,594 --> 01:49:19,794 Do you remember now? 1056 01:50:19,689 --> 01:50:22,162 I'm sick of you, I'm sick of you! Leave! 1057 01:50:22,186 --> 01:50:23,702 Leave! 1058 01:50:23,726 --> 01:50:26,936 - You hurt me, piss off! - Don't be like that. 1059 01:50:26,960 --> 01:50:30,038 I know you don't love me, but I love you so much, 1060 01:50:30,062 --> 01:50:32,139 and I just want you to fucking love me back. 1061 01:50:32,163 --> 01:50:34,042 Eh? 1062 01:50:34,066 --> 01:50:36,143 Is it that hard?! 1063 01:50:36,167 --> 01:50:37,432 Just love me! 1064 01:50:39,808 --> 01:50:41,876 Please, love me! 1065 01:50:44,439 --> 01:50:46,758 Please! 1066 01:50:46,782 --> 01:50:48,751 Please. 1067 01:50:49,851 --> 01:50:51,919 Please. 1068 01:50:53,217 --> 01:50:55,932 Please. 1069 01:50:57,859 --> 01:50:59,828 You need to go, Michael. 1070 01:51:00,829 --> 01:51:02,930 Leave now, please. 1071 01:51:07,968 --> 01:51:10,045 I'm so sorry, Michelle. 1072 01:51:18,308 --> 01:51:20,154 Oh, my darling. 1073 01:51:57,413 --> 01:51:59,481 I'm sorry. 1074 01:52:00,449 --> 01:52:01,824 Don't leave. 1075 01:52:03,188 --> 01:52:05,232 Please, don't leave her. 1076 01:52:05,256 --> 01:52:06,961 Love her. 1077 01:52:18,236 --> 01:52:21,140 Thought it was Michael put all the bags in the boiler cupboard. 1078 01:52:22,240 --> 01:52:25,021 It was you. 1079 01:52:25,045 --> 01:52:27,859 Little stinker. 1080 01:52:27,883 --> 01:52:30,961 It's a hoard. 1081 01:52:30,985 --> 01:52:32,822 It's mine and hers. 1082 01:52:33,856 --> 01:52:35,867 It's mine and hers. 1083 01:52:35,891 --> 01:52:39,101 It's all ruined now. It's ruined. 1084 01:52:39,125 --> 01:52:41,939 Shh. 1085 01:52:41,963 --> 01:52:44,040 I get it. 1086 01:52:44,064 --> 01:52:45,494 I get it now. 1087 01:52:57,308 --> 01:52:59,385 Oh, decorating? 1088 01:52:59,409 --> 01:53:03,488 Bit late for that ain't it, girlies? Christmas has been and gone. 1089 01:53:03,512 --> 01:53:08,163 It's only a couple of days ago, Janice. Exactly. 1090 01:53:08,187 --> 01:53:09,991 Merry Christmas, Janice! 1091 01:53:11,190 --> 01:53:13,258 Nutters. 1092 01:53:19,396 --> 01:53:22,432 Merry fucking Christmas, the lot of you! 1093 01:53:25,171 --> 01:53:28,051 Thank fuck I don't have to eat any of this shit. 1094 01:53:28,075 --> 01:53:31,078 Maria? You all right? 1095 01:53:35,984 --> 01:53:40,195 So, it turns out, these are my exorcism gift, right? 1096 01:53:40,219 --> 01:53:42,868 Fucking Kurdish exorcisms are next-level wild. 1097 01:53:42,892 --> 01:53:45,904 My exorcist, the Sheikh - yeah, the Sheikh - 1098 01:53:45,928 --> 01:53:47,972 really, really, really fit 1099 01:53:47,996 --> 01:53:50,073 and I'm deffo gonna marry him when I'm older. 1100 01:53:50,097 --> 01:53:52,570 And also, my aunts, they keep on fucking pretending to be possessed. 1101 01:53:52,594 --> 01:53:54,875 'Cause every time he's coming over, they're proper like... 1102 01:53:56,499 --> 01:53:58,213 Fucking mental. 1103 01:53:58,237 --> 01:54:01,183 - Ah, she's back! Hello, trouble! - You all right? 1104 01:54:01,207 --> 01:54:03,086 Ah, Michelle! 1105 01:54:03,110 --> 01:54:05,616 Ah! It's like a Christmas miracle. 1106 01:54:05,640 --> 01:54:08,256 What's up with you? It looks like you seen a ghost. 1107 01:54:08,280 --> 01:54:10,522 - She missed ya. - I missed you! 1108 01:54:10,546 --> 01:54:13,965 - Argh! - Argh! 1109 01:54:13,989 --> 01:54:17,529 Maria, seriously, what the fuck have you been keeping in here? 1110 01:54:17,553 --> 01:54:19,201 Fuck off. 1111 01:54:19,225 --> 01:54:21,500 It's like a fucking museum or something. This is mental. 1112 01:54:21,524 --> 01:54:24,371 But, look, I gotta go. 1113 01:54:24,395 --> 01:54:27,002 I'll catch you Monday, yeah? In a bizzle! 1114 01:54:28,168 --> 01:54:33,479 - Bon voyage! - Bon voyage! 1115 01:54:33,503 --> 01:54:35,888 I gotta go, love. I'll see you soon. 1116 01:54:35,912 --> 01:54:37,549 Kill my ears. Come, let's go. 1117 01:54:37,573 --> 01:54:39,584 - What we having for dinner today? - Happy Christmas. 1118 01:54:39,608 --> 01:54:42,521 - Fish cakes. - I fucking love fishcakes. 1119 01:54:42,545 --> 01:54:44,118 Let's go, fishcakes! 1120 01:54:45,955 --> 01:54:48,263 Inside. 1121 01:54:48,287 --> 01:54:50,157 Inside. 1122 01:54:51,323 --> 01:54:52,929 Mm! 1123 01:54:53,655 --> 01:54:56,328 Right. What's the time? I better go. 1124 01:54:57,494 --> 01:54:59,373 So, you gonna stay in and watch Hootenanny? 1125 01:54:59,397 --> 01:55:01,432 - Mm. - Will ya tape it for me? 1126 01:55:03,566 --> 01:55:06,470 Oh, also, Sam and the girls are coming later. 1127 01:55:07,471 --> 01:55:09,539 I love you, ya know? 1128 01:55:11,574 --> 01:55:13,510 I love you more. 1129 01:55:17,085 --> 01:55:20,262 You don't half need a wash, though. Once ain't enough. 1130 01:55:20,286 --> 01:55:22,561 Piss off! 1131 01:55:25,423 --> 01:55:28,072 Laters! 1132 01:56:02,691 --> 01:56:04,759 Happy New Year! 1133 01:56:06,596 --> 01:56:08,697 Happy New Year! 1134 01:56:11,304 --> 01:56:14,382 Happy New Year to you all! 1135 01:57:27,248 --> 01:57:31,492 And now you've disappeared somewhere. 1136 01:57:44,331 --> 01:57:48,674 And I miss you, oh. 1137 01:57:52,108 --> 01:57:55,681 I've come to realise grief will never heal over time. 1138 01:57:55,705 --> 01:57:59,520 It simply disguises itself in things. 1139 01:57:59,544 --> 01:58:02,094 She disguised herself in things. 1140 01:58:02,118 --> 01:58:05,790 Some of my memories are vivid, and some are more like dreams. 1141 01:58:05,814 --> 01:58:10,300 They dip and dive, even changing, too. 1142 01:58:10,324 --> 01:58:12,599 But it's okay. 1143 01:58:12,623 --> 01:58:15,173 I remember now. 1144 01:58:15,197 --> 01:58:17,571 I can hear her. 1145 01:58:17,595 --> 01:58:20,145 The catalogue of love has found me once more, 1146 01:58:20,169 --> 01:58:23,115 and I guess it never left. 1147 01:58:23,139 --> 01:58:25,216 We are the kings of the castle. 1148 01:58:27,176 --> 01:58:28,846 And you lot... 1149 01:58:28,870 --> 01:58:33,512 you're the dirty rascals. 1150 01:58:37,384 --> 01:58:39,527 I love you, Custard. 1151 01:59:35,970 --> 01:59:38,346 Are you getting that? 1152 01:59:47,421 --> 01:59:51,335 There you are, darling. You got me singing now on tape, ain't ya? 1153 01:59:53,658 --> 01:59:55,924 Bye-bye, camera. Love ya. 1154 02:00:02,403 --> 02:00:04,900 Bye-bye camera. Love ya. 1155 02:06:11,970 --> 02:06:15,039 Descriptive subtitles by Matchbox Cinesub