CONSTANTIN FILM PRESENTS
A CONSTANTIN FILM PRODUCTION
A BAREFOOT FILMS CO-PRODUCTION IN COOPERATION WITH OLGA FILM
MANTA MANTA PARTY TWO
- Klausi? - Bertie?
- Put the Calibra out, it's ready now. - Will do.
It'd be great to actually sell a car for a change.
- You know me. - That's why I'm saying it.
I'm crossing my fingers for you. You got this.
Yeah, I'll just tell them a story.
Stinks like a loser's ass.
Hey, Gramps, sweet ride, is that a women's bike?
Wait, is that Bertie Katzbach?
His ugly mugshot's hanging on the Wall of Legends at Paula's Pub.
- Thought they'd all croaked. - I didn't know that.
- That your photo's there? - That you can think.
What are you talking about?
The race is heating up
between irresistible hottie Rico Feucht
and lame old Bertie Katzbach.
- Neither is giving an inch. - You're nuts.
But what's this?
Katzbach takes the lead for Team Zombie.
But Rico keeps riding his ass, no matter how bad it stinks.
Whoops. Woah!
Unbelievable.
Katzbach loses control of his vehicle at the last second.
As Rico Feucht drives to victory,
welcomed by popping corks and hot babes.
See ya, loser.
- How's it shaking? - Whoa, Bertie Katzbach.
Morning, Mr. Nasser.
What an honor to have such a famous visitor.
Mr. Katzbach...
Welcome to the final part of the assessment of your fitness to drive.
Also known as the "ldiot Test".
Do you know why it's called that?
Well, everything's fine with me up here.
By the way, I was a fan of yours back in your DTM days.
Thanks. Yeah...
- It was a great time. - Didn't end so great.
And that's why it was the end.
- Separated? - From my wife and my license.
Which of them would you rather get back?
What are you, my couples' therapist?
I'm your final obstacle, so I'd advise you to cooperate.
- Okay. - So, two kids?
- Yes. - Your daughter lives with you.
- Your son lives with his mother. - That's correct.
- Why is he still in school? - Got held back. Eight times.
Just kidding.
He's finishing his degree at night school.
- Which you never managed. - I never needed one.
- Do you see him often? - Who?
Your son?
What does that have to do with my license?
Do you ever fall unconscious?
Only after my tenth brewski.
- "Brewski"? - A little beer.
That's not what you said.
You're trivializing alcohol, which is a drug.
Subconsciously, you don't view drugs as dangerous.
Trivializing bad things doesn't make them better.
"Heroinski"... "needleski"...
"shotski"...
"Bayern MiJn-ski".
Now answer these questions without thinking too long.
- What color is a forest? - Green.
- What color is a tree frog? - Green.
- What color are Robin Hood's tights? - Rainbow?
Kidding. Green! Write "green," Mr. Nasser.
- What color requires you to stop? - Green.
- Wrong. - I meant "red," sometimes yellow.
- Only the first answer counts. - What?
Obviously you don't stop for red!
- Wrong. - I meant, "do stop."
A glider crashes at the border. Who gets the engine?
- Sure this is still about my license? - Answer the question.
A glider doesn't have an engine.
This one was carrying a lawnmower engine.
- That has to be a joke. - No. It's "considering every option."
Like in traffic: Things come at you from any direction.
Moving on. A night watchman dies during the day.
- Does he get a pension? - Was he run over by the lawnmower?
His wife would get the pension.
- If she's still alive. - You sure?
- Can I use my 50:50 lifeline? - Mr. Katzbach.
If he doesn't have a wife, she won't get the pension, of course.
And he doesn't get it either,
since he's dead, after all.
- Is that your final answer? - Yes, Mr. Philbin.
The answer is...
Wrong. Okay.
Papa Boar, Mama Boar, and Baby Boar are out in a field.
- The baby is thirsty, who does it go to? - Into a bar.
To its mother, of course. Makes sense, right?
"Mama Boar" and "Baby Boar" don't exist, since boars are male.
The pig who took my license away was definitely female.
Last question: A tomato walks into a bar. How many drinks does it order?
- No matter what I say, it'll be wrong. - Just do your best.
40.
Tomatoes can't walk.
You know what? I've had enough of this.
Shove my license up your ass.
Trying to make a fool of me. I'm done with this shit.
Come on, Mr. Katzbach, loosen up. After all, this is the Idiot Test.
You can pick up your license next door.
Hello, Mr. Winkler. Those four years really flew by.
And now Katzbach is back. Do you...
That's... That's funny.
When I first came in, I thought you were Mr. Winkler.
Then you turn around, and at first I think you're a woman.
- And then... - I am a woman.
"Mr." Winkler...
hasn't existed for half a year now.
- Sorry to hear that. - Why are you sorry?
I mean... You look great.
Very feminine.
Those nails...
I'd better stop talking.
Mr. Winkler was a very unhappy
and angry man.
Because he was trapped in the wrong body. But then...
he mustered up his courage and became a woman.
- That's nice. - And that woman...
went on to meet the love of her life.
- A man. - A woman.
- What a bombshell. - Yes?
Yeah, suits you. Two bombshells.
You think so?
So you became a woman...
in order to become a lesbian?
I was always a lesbian.
- You're getting your license back today. - Yes?
But... Zero-point-zero BAC behind the wheel.
No speeding. Not even a little.
No infractions.
- Not anymore. - Not anymore.
- You've used up all of your lifelines. - I know, Ms. Winkler.
- Drive carefully. - No problem.
- Yes? - You're a very nice woman.
Get out of here before you turn me straight.
Then I'd better get out of here quick.
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Where is my Jaguar?
This can't be happening.
What is this?
- A balloon? - A balloon.
Hey! Hey-
Why are you wearing my wife's dress?
Good question.
- What happened? - I was just about to ask you that.
Listen up! Who... stole... my... car?
How would I know? I'm just the pizza delivery guy.
He has some balls.
Nice place.
But...
I'll leave you a menu, okay? For the next party.
Alright, thanks for the wild party.
Have fun cleaning up.
Hey. my dress!
My dress.
Your son is driving me insane. This cannot go on.
Think of something!
Otherwise, I will!
Get that filthy animal out of here.
- My God. - Daniel!
Sick!
- The dude's crazy. - Insane.
He's a beast, dude.
Where did he learn to drive like that?
My God.
- Did you get the whole thing? - Amazing.
Daniel!
Fuck.
Daniel Katzbach... have you totally lost your mind?
Trashing our house and taking Gunnar's car?
- I can explain. - Be my guest.
- It's just... - Cat got your tongue?
Hi, Mrs. Katzbach, how are you?
How does it look, Tessa?
You promised me you'd stop pulling this shit.
And you promised me you wouldn't get back till tomorrow.
So let's chalk it up to poor planning.
"Poor planning"... "Poor planning"?
You're coming home immediately to clean up that mess!
- What's wrong now? - These boots are too tight.
Take the fucking things off and stop whining, you ditz.
- Klausi. - Axel, is that you?
- No, Michael Bublé. - Really?
Just as thick as ever. You've come a long way, Big Nose.
- Kudos. - Thanks. But it doesn't belong to me.
- It's Bertie's. - "Bertie's"...
That loser still around? Thought he'd be in the pits of hell.
No, he's making a pit stop, getting us breakfast. He'll be back now.
What about the rest of your crack team? Still hanging around?
No, they all made it to the big leagues. Cities like Essen, Bottrop, Wuppertal.
- I need a car for the Classics. - Right in front of you.
It hurts so fucking much.
Looks pretty bad. Let me have a look at those.
It stinks in here.
The neighbor's cat took a leak in there. But she's so cute, I couldn't get mad.
So I'll throw in a free air freshener.
Finally.
Hello? Anybody home?
Breakfast's here! Klausi?
- Bertie. - Hauke. How's it hangin'?
- Let those soak a bit, they won't pinch. - What is this?
An old Army trick Axel showed me.
You go on ahead, honey.
You pissed in my girlfriend's boots. Asshole.
- How dumb can you be, moron? - That hurt.
Those fucking boots cost me 2000 euros!
2000, asshole. Fuck you.
He pissed in those.
- Didn't you lose your license? - Check it out.
Ta-da!
- So... - What did I do this time?
Excessive honking within town limits.
That's a noise disturbance.
As per the list of traffic penalties...
- Your fine is five euros. - Are you pulling my leg? Five?
Just like a cosmetic surgeon: If you want honkers, you gotta pay.
No seatbelt? That's another 30.
So you owe me exactly 35 euros.
- Come on, give me 15 back. - Sorry, I don't have any change.
Okay, let's just settle it then.
Now we're even. Buy yourself a popsicle with the rest.
Have a great day, Hauke.
Breakfast is here!
That's for you, Klausi...
What happened to you?
- Axel decked me. - Axel who?
You know, from way back. The guy with the Benz 190.
That dimwit... decked you?
I'll return the favor.
- Did you sell the Calibra? - Nope.
- But we still have this air freshener. - Great.
- Had a good crap, Tyrese? - Three-point swish.
- Okay. Done. - "Done"?
Well, there aren't any more pictures.
Swiped right on everyone within 120 miles.
Klausi, women can smell desperation.
- Not through the phone. - But you're losing status.
I'm like a vintage car. Over time, vintage cars...
start to rust if you don't take them out for a drive.
As long as the gear stick still works...
Which photo do you like most?
- This one. - Go back to the one before.
Look, it's much more expressive. My smile is better.
What smile?
No, sorry, Klausi.
- This is the one. - Klausi!
- The screwdriver. - Why didn't you say?
Hey, howdy, hello.
Salam alaykum! Where's my doner kebab?
Salem, it's almost noon.
What? Explains why I'm so hungry.
We start work at 9 a.m., not 1:30 p.m.
Bro, tell it to my paycheck... You can't, since it hasn't arrived yet.
I haven't gotten mine for five months either,
yet somehow I was on time.
- Where were you? - At the nail salon, bro.
- Sick, right? - This shit is what you're late for?
"This is the shit for which you're late."
That's a dangling preposition.
- Why is the Calibra still here? - Don't ask.
Keeping them closed won't help.
Opening them won't help either.
- Hello. - Hey, you two.
- Here for a Lick-a-Color? - No, go-karts.
Then you've come to the right place.
- That's not enough, sorry. - But it's all we have.
- It's our whole allowance. - We need to ask your parents.
- Okay. - Take two helmets, go choose your spots.
Thanks. Love ya, Bertie.
Love you too, Stella.
- We'll never pay off our debts. - Their dad is unemployed.
I didn't know that.
"Lick-A-Color"... is that just an ice cream?
- What else would it be? - Dude.
- What? - "ls Lick-A-Color just an ice cream?"
Maybe you have something else to keep us moms occupied
while we're waiting for our kids.
- Sorry, we're all out of Screwballs. - What?
No Rocket Pops either.
And Creamsicles... looks like we've just run out.
We do have Fudgsicles.
Well then, bye.
Thanks, Mücke...
- Isn't she a little young for you? - I'd like to have some fun, too.
Then go play a round of go-karts.
"Hope you aren't wearing underwear again"?
- Dad, did you look in my phone? - Just by mistake.
- What the hell? That's the last straw. - Mücke!
Babe! Where are you? I'm so horny for you.
Katzbach.
- Can you turn off that shitty music? - Fuck you, Gramps.
Ouch.
I'm bleeding.
- I think it's broken. - Where's the volume?
- You have to swipe. - Swi-what?
See? So, you and my daughter... not gonna happen.
- Says who? - Me.
Are you Mücke's clad?
- No, her little sister. - What?
My daughter is too good for a dimwit like you.
Mr. Katzbach, I apologize for our little mishap.
I didn't mean to tap you, it was an accident.
"Accident"? You threw me over that bench and drove off.
Clearly incorrect behavior on my part.
- What happened to Rico? - Bumped his head on the wheel.
- Ditched your panties? - Never you mind.
He's your new boyfriend?
- What if he is? - Ls he?
- Do you have a problem? - You do. The guy's an idiot.
- You don't even know him. - Mücke, honestly...
I thought it couldn't get worse than Justin.
But now him? Is he a valet for bumper cars, too?
- Your face is dirty. - Sweetie, why are you dating that wimp?
Honestly, Dad, it's my life, not yours.
I can fall in love with whoever I want, whenever I want.
You clumsy thing, how did you hit your head on the wheel?
Mücke, if you leave now...
Mücke!
Get home before dark, at least.
Dad, you couldn't be more embarrassing!
Mr. Katzbach, why aren't you picking up?
Tried a thousand times! I do know where to find you.
Mr. Werner, too. That's all I needed.
What's wrong?
You look like death warmed over.
My daughter just went off with Rico Feucht.
God.
- With Feucht's son? - Yeah.
That's no good.
- Mr. Katzbach, I'm truly sorry. - Thanks.
What can I do for you?
Well, now... So...
Mr. Katzbach...
We haven't received your loan installments for three months.
I've been a client of your bank for almost 50 years.
Back then, I brought socks full of coins to the bank
to open my first savings account.
- What are three months? - In numbers: 33,500.
Next month, it'll be 40,000.
You need to pay. Your account's always in overdraft.
I signed for you this time since you're such a nice guy.
But...
I have no other option but to foreclose on this garage.
As much as it pains me to, it's a blow to local car racing...
I'll come up with the cash. Count on it.
But don't rob our bank. I know what you're like.
That was my plan.
"That was my plan"...
I... I'll leave you to it.
And don't forget: By the end of the month.
- We're so screwed. - You can say that again.
I'm 54. Where am I gonna find a job?
Should I ask Uschi if you can work at her salon?
Great. What would I do there?
Wig stand?
How much do you think it pays?
80s AND 90s CLASSICS RACE
GRAND PRIZE: PORSCHE 964, VALUE 150,000 EUROS
- What are we going to do now? - We're going to the Classics.
What do you mean?
You promised Daniel and me you'd never race again.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
- What is that, an old saying? - The Porsche nets 150 grand.
Where else can we get the cash?
But only if we win. You haven't driven in 17 years.
It's like riding a bike. You never forget.
Unless you're me.
What's the fastest marble we have right now?
- The Cali. - The Cali.
- Fuck.
The Cali, which we only still have because I'm so smart.
As if I somehow knew. Barn!
Come on, you piece of shit.
Sorry!
I'm so sorry, didn't mean to startle you.
Uschi
- How are you? - How...
- You go first. - You first.
Okay. I'm well, thanks.
- I think. - You think?
- How are things with Gunnar? - Good.
Good.
He's just away on business a lot. And I'm busy, too.
We don't see much of each other. And you? Seeing anyone new?
No, no. I'm also... busy.
- How's the salon? - Great.
- I have a whole chain now. - A chain.
- I have a chain, too. - I know. I gave it to you.
- And Daniel? - Know what his dream job is?
- Race car driver? Influencer
The flu?
Switch out the "-a" for "-cer."
He's hanging out with a bad crowd. They're just after his money.
- Daniel, money? Since when? - Gunnar gave him a credit card.
- Is he out of his mind? - I don't like it either.
Uschi, you need to stand your ground. Money corrupts people!
Explains why you're still such a great guy.
- Funny. - You also gave him whatever he wanted.
But not his own credit card!
He was six when we split up.
How's his night school going?
Great. About to graduate, wants to drop out.
I handled my life without a diploma, too.
You're such an idiot.
Why'd I think we could have a reasonable talk?
- Uschi! - Man, Bertie.
I wouldn't be here if I didn't need your help.
What can I do?
He lives with you, ignores me.
I thought he could stay here for a bit?
Here? With his loser of a dad?
Look, you two could talk about things.
About what went wrong, or what you could start doing better.
You could spend time with each other.
Bertie, please. He's your son.
Uschi, I don't have space for him here.
Nice digs...
"Forgiveness is a gift we give not to others...
but to ourselves."
Okay.
Hey, how's it hanging, dude?
- Going great so far. - Thanks for coming.
- Is he always this cheery? - It's usually worse.
What did this place here cost?
- Is that important, Bertie? - Just asking.
It's Career Day at school.
- Can you jump in? - "Career Day"?
One of his parents needs to explain their job to his class.
- No, Uschi. Do I have to? - Please.
- Bertie! - Okay.
- Damn fine weather today, no? - Shove it.
The Ruhr region is so beautiful.
- What? - Your car is a mess, dude.
Better, bud?
Listen up. You aren't my bud.
You're my sperm donor at most.
If I'd been the egg, I would've rejected you. So just drive.
Listen, it was more than just a donation.
It was damn hard work. Ask your mom, she was there.
Daniel, back then...
I don't know, I just lost control.
No matter what you said to me,
I shouldn't have slapped you.
Spare me the bullshit. Sounds rehearsed.
Here's a tip from an old and wise man:
Forgiveness is a gift you give not to me, but to you.
- "Yourself." - No, "yourself."
Did you get that from a fortune cookie?
- From an auto tuning magazine. - Whatever.
At the moment, I'm looking forward to "Show-and-Tell: Parent Careers."
No, you won't step foot into that classroom.
- Is that clear? - How much can you pay?
- I'll hit you. - Then we'd be even.
- Dad, don't do this to me. Please. - "Dad"?
Wow, already upgraded from "sperm donor" to "Dad."
While collectors and galleries are active on the primary market,
art dealers are more specifically involved in sales...
- Excuse me. - And acquisitions.
In the supermarket, a can of soup like this might cost...
Make room. There you go.
In 1962, Andy Warhol screen-printed these cans
onto 32 canvases.
- You're a doctor, am I right? - He charged 100 dollars for each.
- Honorary professor. - "Honorary," cool.
Sounds like a tidy profit. Now...
In 1996, these pictures were sold
for 15 million dollars
to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.
By an art dealer.
- Thank you, Mr. Dubois. - My pleasure.
For our next guest speaker,
please welcome Mr. Katzbach, Daniel's father.
- What do you do for a living? - I used to be a race car driver.
We're all aware of that. What are you doing now?
I repair and sell used cars.
- I also run a go-kart track for kids. - Yes? Tom?
What's the most expensive used car you've sold?
I can tell you exactly which one:
It was an Ascona Bye "Mattig Extrem" which I bought for 9000
and sold for 12,000... Deutschmarks.
- When they were still worth something. - Yes.
Before they fucked us all up the ass with the euro.
Mr. Katzbach...
Why don't you tell the class why you chose your profession?
Okay. Everyone, please close your eyes.
Come on, join in. Close your eyes and imagine...
It's a hot summer's night in the city.
It's muggy. You're going stir-crazy.
So you go and sit in your car.
You open the windows, maybe even the roof.
You start driving and can feel the cool breeze.
You turn on the radio, listen to music.
You drive to your girlfriend's place to pick her up.
You take her across the country to the sea.
Towards the salty air.
Can you hear the waves crashing?
You sit in the warm sand...
put your arm around your girl...
crack open a can of Veltins...
Can you feel that sense of freedom?
Cars mean freedom. And I love freedom.
And that's why I made cars my career.
You can open your eyes now.
- That was... lovely. - Thanks.
By the way, your girlfriend is very nice.
- How do you know her? - She reissued me my license.
Or not.
Mr. Katzbach!
Thanks for taking us to the seaside.
You're welcome.
- See you around, free spirits. - Bye.
- What's with the stupid grin? - That gal's into you.
Dude.
- Trust me, I notice these things. - No way!
Leonie isn't into anyone. She's a nerd, okay?
- What's a nerd? - Someone like her.
- That's what we used to call a babe. - Man.
- Hey, I like her, too. - Pedo much?
I would like her if I was her age.
- Yeah... but you aren't. So just drive. - Geez, okay.
- Fuck. Fuck, I'm dead. - Put this over your head.
- But I won't be able to breathe. - Rip a hole in it.
Boys! We have a new roommate: Daniel.
- I'll show you your room. This way. - Nah...
So, welcome to your new home.
How does it go in Spanish? "Mu saca, ma saca."
A little dusty, but it'll settle.
- A cot? Are you fucking serious? - I also have an air mattress...
Dude, what the hell?
Your mom, and her new boyfriend Gunnar,
are at the end of their rope.
Okay, so that explains your "cool clad" act.
Gonna set me back on the right path?
Nonsense, you'll make your own path.
I'll just help you avoid my mistakes.
You'll make plenty of your own. View me as a friend.
And now we'll toss back a couple of beers and go pick up chicks?
- Sounds like a plan. - With "LuvMe."
- Who's he? - Klausi. Don't you remember?
Yeah, the guy with the schnozz.
- And the giant baby? - That's Tyrese.
My third-best friend after Salem.
- And where is he? - Probably at the nail salon.
- No door? - There's a curtain.
A curtain. Awesome. What about my fucking privacy?
- Your what? - Privacy, man!
We don't keep secrets from each other.
- We're a family, pal. - I'm not your pal, is that clear?
Shit.
- Okay, what's the WiFi password? - Daniel.
Fuck, I just want the WiFi password, got that?
The password is "Daniel."
Still, now...
Fuck!
Fuck.
- Are you really going to race? - I have to.
Dad, the only thing you have to do is die.
I'm immortal.
Idiot. I'm scared something will happen to you during it.
Mücke, nothing's going to happen. We need the cash.
So if you have a Plan Bye... let us know.
Rico's also competing.
With that toilet brush?
I'll bury it so deep in shit it won't even be good as scrap.
That toilet brush has 373 horsepower.
- 373. - Did I stutter?
Doesn't matter. That lunkhead can't even handle that much HP.
Sits in that car like a monkey in a rocket.
You can't win against 373 HP.
Greatness is admitting you've lost before you've begun.
Greatness is not giving up hope.
It's doing all you can to save your life's work.
"Life's work"? Your go-kart track or your kids?
Mücke...
Shit.
Sim-Salem-bim, look into its soul.
Does this clunker have hidden talents?
I see...
- What do you see? - That we're... totally screwed.
- Fuck, bro. - We can't even use it as a safety car.
- Fuck! - Fuck.
- Come on! - What is he doing?
Hurry it up.
Dude. Fuck. What are you doing?
Man, it's hot in that jalopy.
- Might as well hang ourselves. - Can we afford a rope?
- Room for improvement. - Tell me my time, already.
Won't be breaking the sound barrier.
- What did you expect with that jalopy? - Tyrese? Salem?
- Any ideas? - Of course.
We need an anti-lag system and more stable intake hoses.
And I'm just getting started.
- A bigger intercooler would be nice. - Yeah, a Porsche would be nice, too.
Freaks.
Your uncle Aslan has that old Vectra engine.
Think he'd lend it to us?
Nope. He doesn't lend.
- Aren't you Turks generous? - Not him.
- He has enough dough. - Since he never lends it.
- There he is, the fatso. - Ouch.
In that shed back there to the right... It's in there.
How are we doing this?
Aside from the junkyard, Aslan keeps an eye on one thing.
- Which is? - My cousin Siri.
- We need something to lure him away. - Any ideas?
Something like that.
- What? I wasn't picking boogers. - Nobody said that.
You're the chosen one, Klausi.
- Yeah. - Okay?
- Chosen to do what? - You're in charge...
of getting us stocking masks.
- Wow, sounds exciting. - Yeah.
- Siri, my angel. - Salem, what's up?
How are you?
Hey! Doughface!
Have you been sniffing glue? Put that back.
This is the second time.
- I was gonna pay. - A likely story.
Do it one more time,
and I'll chop off your fingers and put 'em with the feta.
Got that? I'll really do it.
- Where were we? - How's your dad?
He just grounded me for two weeks.
What the fuck? Why?
Because he's a fucking Turkish patriarch.
- Wanna get back at him? - Ls an imam Muslim?
- Duh. - That's what I thought.
- I'll be in touch. - Okay.
- That'll be 298 euros, please. - No, her boyfriend's paying.
- He's in the bathroom. - Okay. Gotcha.
Hey, Tessa...
do you know... how cute you are?
- Are you crazy? - What's this?
- Are you mad? - What're you doing?
- He hit on you. - No, he didn't.
- Tessa, I'm not blind. - Here's the bill.
- That fuck's paying. - You said you'd pay.
- Fuck you. - What did you say to me?
Daniel, please don't make a scene.
- Do you have another one? - There's cash on there. Try again.
Nope.
Fuck.
Do you... have money on you?
No.
You said you'd pay for everything.
Daniel, you're a real loser.
You know what? It's on me.
You animal.
Freeze!
The perfect disguise.
- Klausi, what are you doing? - How did you know it was me?
- Your nose. - What's so special about it?
- It's specially cute. - No one's ever told me that.
High time, then. Are you gonna rob a bank?
- Absolutely not. I'm the chosen one. - Chosen for what?
Chosen to buy stockings.
I can see that. Why?
- To use as coffee filters. - Coffee filters?
On your head?
Yes, just wearing it so I don't forget to make coffee.
- Klausi, you're such a nut. - Yes.
- Hey. - I want you to apologize to him.
- Nope. - Today. And you have to mean it.
Why do I need to apologize?
Because I don't want anyone to ruin the party I've been looking forward to.
- If you don't work this out... - Okay. Okay.
- Good. - Tessa...
I need to go to sleep now. Daniel, I love you.
Gunnar... canceled my credit card.
My birthday party is in two days. The bar is booked.
You said you'd take care of it. It's bad enough Tom paid today.
- Daniel, please don't let me down. - Tessa...
- I love you. - Tessa!
Dude.
Fuck.
Fuck! Shit.
Fucking shit, man!
- Fuck! Fucked-up fucking... - You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. You?
- Want to talk? - No.
Come on, something's bothering you.
- Can you lend me some money? - Sure, how much are we talking?
1000.
Daniel, I wish I could, but I have so many debts and fines.
Sure, forget it. It was... Never mind. It's okay.
I could give you 100.
- Not even close to enough. - What do you need so much for?
It's my girlfriend Tessa's birthday tomorrow.
I wanted to pay for everyone at the beach bar, but Gunnar blocked my card.
Why not celebrate with a few beers at a diner?
Seriously?
Back in the day, we had legendary parties there.
They have Jägermeister, too.
If I offer Tessa Jägermeister, she's gone, dude.
I'd be wondering whether she's the right one for you.
- She is. - Then money shouldn't matter.
- Daniel! - What do you want from me?
I'm not like you and I never will be! Is that clear?
I'm living my life.
- And you're living yours. - Okay...
No problem, got it. It's okay.
Good night.
- Trouble in teensville? - I'm an adult.
As adult as Dad?
What's going on?
If you really loved somebody...
and would do anything to keep that love alive,
would you even do something...
that's not allowed?
"Not allowed" like offing someone, or like stealing candy?
Have you been sucking an exhaust pipe? I'm not gonna kill anyone.
No, it's just...
not exactly okay.
Sounds fair enough, when love is involved.
- Mücke! - Yes?
- I'm glad you're my sister. - I'm glad you're my brother.
Best bros for life?
Best bros for life.
I still don't know if this is a good idea.
- It's the best idea ever. - Our plan is illegal.
After the race, we'll bring the engine back.
Exactly, Klausi.
His generous uncle is temporarily loaning the engine to us, so to speak.
- Does he know that? - He doesn't know what he doesn't know.
That's why he's a junkman, not a philosopher.
Plus, we'll give the engine an oil change and clean it:
Like an unsolicited service.
In other words: It's a legal gray area.
We're basically like Christmas elves.
- But they scared me as a kid. - Me too.
- Really? - No.
- Here.
Awooga!
- Hot. Who's that? - My cousin Siri.
You're allowed to date her. But first, meet her dad.
- Child's play. - Here.
- So we can service it in peace. - Holy cannoli, he looks dangerous.
He's as harmless as a guinea pig.
I'm allergic to pet hair.
Listen, Klausi. My uncle has always dreamed
of finding a confident, good-looking German man for Siri.
Dude, this is your chance.
- And... and... she's there? - Yeah.
Go get her, Klausi.
- No. - What? Why not?
No, it won't work.
- She's fine! - What if I say something dumb?
You've never said anything dumb. Ever.
Just tell her some jokes. You know lots.
- Just jokes about Mantas. - Aslan loves those.
- Should I date Aslan? - Just do it. We need the engine.
But I don't have anything with me:
no condoms, no Viagra, nada.
Are you crazy? You need to let girls come to you.
But Dr. Ruth says it's better to come at the same time.
Klausi, what are you doing?
- A disguise? Camouflage? - Not you, dummy!
Us, because we're stealing the engine!
Borrowing.
How's my hair?
Perfect the way it is.
Distracts from the rest.
Wait, Klausi.
Killer. Good luck.
Hello, Mr. Aslan.
I'm Klausi. Like "clow-zee."
Know this one? "A Manta driver walks into a bakery..."
Okay... Guess he knew that one.
- What do you want? - To tell you some yummy jokes...
Fuck off!
- This doner kebab is sick. - It's from Podolski.
- Not Kangal? Been wanting to try it. - "Mangal."
A "kangal" is a Turkish herding dog.
- What? - A Turkish herding dog.
Can you not speak with your mouth full?
- A Turkish herding dog. - Now I got it.
- What do you want with my dau... - Let him go!
Baba! Man.
- Hello, Klausi. - Hello, Siri.
You're even prettier than in real life.
You're sweet.
We're both wearing chains. It's a sign.
Yes.
- Why are you here? - For a date with your lovely daughter.
You'd better get the hell out of here, or I'll destroy you.
Come on, Klausi.
Okay, folks. Showtime.
- Thought he'd kill him. - That's your third kebab.
- How come you still look good? - The gym, brother.
Okay, folks. Masks out.
Dude... Maybe take the hat off first.
This guy-
- Happy? - Looks great.
- What are you doing? - I'm hungry.
Let's go get the thing.
Delicious soup. The gyros are to die for.
- "Gyros." - Koftas.
- Excuse me? - Those are koftas.
Koftas. They're really... koft-icious.
- You're funny, Klausi. - Yes.
Baba... you say something.
The meat in the soup... I shot it myself.
- Want to see the gun? - Baba.
- What? - Honey.
You can't force love.
It falls where it may.
Look where I landed.
A cowpie also falls where it may.
That doesn't make it a good thing.
You're right about that, Mr. Aslan.
I enjoy boxing.
- Do you box, too? - Nah, I think boxing's primitive.
- Did you call me primitive? - No, not you...
The sport in general.
I find it primitive, low-class... boorish.
What? Boxing's for Neanderthals.
What have I clone for you to punish me?
I'm not punishing you.
I really like him.
What did he say? My Turkish is rusty.
- That he really likes you. - How nice.
- Maybe later, we can... - No, we can't.
- Quiet! - Yes.
- Baby's over there. - It's dark as hell in here, Bertie.
Take off the mask.
You check if the coast is clear.
- You come with me. - Okay.
Okay, on three.
One... two... three.
- Dude! - Are you crazy? Not so loud.
- I think I need to crap. - What, now?
- Are you insane? - I can't help it. It's bearing down.
Why did you eat three kebabs?
- His head is poking out. - Who?
- Him. - What are you thinking?
That he's about to make an entrance.
Two Manta drivers go to a shoe store to buy crocodile-skin boots.
Ankle boots cost 900. Tall boots, 1500.
So they fly to the Nile and shoot their own crocodiles.
They've just thrown the 15th crocodile ashore
when one of them says, "I'll shoot one more.
But if it doesn't have boots on either, then let's just go."
- I'll get you laughing, too, Mr. Asslan. - Aslan.
- Are you almost done? - Yeah, brother.
Good. Get dressed, we have things to do.
But I don't have any toilet paper. Can you get me some?
How? Should I go ask your uncle nicely?
"Mr. Aslan, your nephew just crapped in your garage.
But he doesn't have any TP. Would you mind?"
There must be a newspaper lying around. Go look.
Dude.
Dude, where are you? It's starting to smell.
Here, take this.
- What is this? - Sandpaper
Do you prefer 40 or 120 grit?
I don't want to sand my rosebud.
The one from Aldi isn't any softer.
Got another: A Manta driver comes home drunk at 4 a.m.
Finds his wife there holding a broomstick.
He says...
"Still cleaning, or about to fly away?"
You laughed.
If anything, I smiled.
- What was that? - What was what?
That noise. It came from outside.
- Why is that van rolling? - Get down.
- Where? - Are you blind? There!
That's mine. Forgot the parking brake.
- With the slope... - There's no slope.
- How else would it roll? - Someone's pushing.
- Where's my gun? - I hid it.
- Where are my cartridges? - I forget.
I'm smart.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
- Fuck. - Take cover!
Idiot!
Fuck. Shit!
- What are you doing? - Out of my way, worm.
- He's lost it. - I want to marry your daughter.
- What did you say? - I'm asking for her hand.
I'll give you many grandkids. Only boys!
- Shit. - Mom my!
Stay here. He'll kill us.
Fuck.
- Lost my mask. What if my uncle saw me? - Jump in!
- What about Klausi? - Screw Klausi!
It's every man for himself now.
Hands off!
- Up ahead! - Get out of the way!
- Bertie Katzbach. - Ldiot!
This thing is going in the trash.
I'm bleeding.
Bertie! You guys forgot me!
- Keep going. We're too young to die. - Klausi.
Get in, bro!
Sunny tomorrow, with a high of 8.9 degrees.
By the end of the week...
- Bertie. - Hey.
What are you doing here?
I... wanted to get my hair washed.
- Wash your hair? - I ran out of shampoo.
Well, that's no good.
Is that a good temperature?
Is there some other reason you're here aside from a rinse?
- I had a bad spat with Mücke. - Why?
She keeps bringing all these wimps home.
Come on, Mustafa was cute.
Yes, he was. If I'd known who she'd rack up after him,
I'd have forced them to get married.
I really don't know what to do with her.
Most importantly, you shouldn't interfere.
- I'd never interfere. - She told me you airbagged the new guy.
- Not interfering, it's intervening. - Bertie, stop it.
Whatever you do or say about her boyfriends, it'll just backfire.
- I know that, Uschi. - Yes, of course.
How's it going with Daniel?
He's really a tough nut to crack. But I'm trying my hardest.
- You can do it. - You think so?
I believe in you.
Do you want to get lunch with me tomorrow?
- What do you think? - Okay.
- Mücke, can we talk? - Really not a good time, Dad.
I wanted to tell you how much I love you.
- I know that already. - Don't interrupt me.
Alright.
I just wanted to say how...
completely sorry I am for treating Rico so badly.
I just want you to be happy.
So I'll never say anything dumb about one of your boyfriends again.
Word of honor.
- Did you visit Mom? - No, why?
- Because you sound like her. - I do?
Yes.
Dad, you're like a hole in the head.
Nobody needs one... but I need you.
I'll always love you.
You owe me 1.70 for the ice-cream.
One...
- Cool shit. - Two...
Wait.
Now you can count.
- A toothpick? Since when? - You have one, too.
Looks cool.
- And now you want to look cool, too? - Of course.
Do I look cool?
Daniel!
Tarzan, is that you?
- Need any help? - Hey!
Before someone gets hurt.
- What are you doing here? - Thought I'd offer to help.
There's a coverall in the closet.
- Spitting image of Stallone. - How does Dad look like Stallone?
Like in the film, when he crash-lands naked in a parking lotto save the past.
- You mean "Terminator"? - That's the one, smarty-pants.
That was Arnold, dimwit.
Now I want to see what I pay you for, you specialists.
You haven't paid us for five months.
There'll be fat raises after the Classics.
- For everybody. - Sounds good, boss.
- I told you not to call me "boss." - Sorry.
Sounds good.
- Sounds good. - I'm not deaf.
Just drive already.
Yeah!
- How did it go with Daniel? - Great.
We pimped the car. Together.
He just came into the garage and asked if we needed help.
- Really? - Yeah.
We've been doing repairs all morning, we test-drove the Calibra,
we laughed, and...
he even gave me a hug.
Wow.
What are you thinking?
I know I wasn't always the perfect man for you,
but why him?
- Who, Gunnar? - Are there others?
- Dozens. - Dozens?
- Why did you fall in love with him? - He was great with the kids.
- And I wasn't? - No, of course you were.
"Of course"? And that's why you left me for Gunnar?
I was alone for three years before he came along.
If he was so great, why did Mücke move back in with me?
She was always daddy's little girl. And she pitied you.
- "Pitied"? - She didn't want you to be alone.
Wow.
I'm just telling you how it is.
What?
Why did you stop loving me, back then?
I always loved you, Bertie.
When you left, you told me you didn't love me anymore.
- I lied. - Lied?
I couldn't live with the idea of you crashing and leaving me at your grave.
No one's ever died racing in the DTM.
- You almost died. - We'd long since split up by then.
What kind of logic is that?
Bertie, someone has to be the first.
And I knew you had to race.
If I had asked you to quit, then that would've been the reason we split.
Or would you have stopped if I had asked you?
Answer honestly.
No.
See?
I have to go.
Bye.
To the best deal of the past ten years.
Cheers. I hope you enjoy.
Hello, everybody.
- I'm Uschi. - Hey, sweetie.
Have a seat and join us.
- Where were you? - I had pizza.
- That's nice. Who with? - Bertie.
- What are you having? - Oysters.
Fresh, flown in straight from the Atlantic.
By the smell, I'd guess bike courier.
I was just telling you all...
how funny she can be.
Bertie? Did something happen?
Daniel stole my credit card. He's throwing a 1000-euro beach party.
- Shit. Are you on your way? - Almost there.
- He'll be getting a hiding. - No, don't.
If you hit him, I'm never speaking to you again.
Mücke, let the grown-ups talk.
You wanted him to forgive you, right? So show him how.
Up to my ears in debt and I should forgive him?
Yes, Dad. He already feels super guilty.
- Bertie? - Yes?
He needs his dad, okay? Don't be hard on him.
No.
Listen to Mom for once. You won't regret it.
Please.
Okay, Uschi. I'll do it like you said.
You're really killing the vibe.
Maybe because my dad's gonna rip me a new one.
Is that my fault?
Have you lost it, Tessa?
Tessa! Where are you going?
To the DJs. Their vibe is better than yours.
- What a knockout. - He needs to get laid.
- Yours, not so much. - Take a look in the mirror, dickwad.
- What did I do? - Mücke's coming with me.
- You two, go over there. Now. - Okay, boss.
Daniel! Hey!
- Let us through. - VIP?
- We're VIP, dude. - Show me some tickets.
My son's in there. The one in the preppy white jacket.
I don't know him. Never seen him before.
Fuck.
- Hey, bro! Wassup? - What are you doing here?
- We're here to party. - Please, don't make a scene.
We won't, we're just here to have fun.
I've never gone out with my kids on a Friday. I'm usually in the garage.
- So go right back there. - No way. Dad gets to party, too.
He works so much. It's time to tear the house down.
Yeah, and how.
- What's shakin', bacon? - Can we help?
Yes, I'm looking for Daniel.
About 5'11", dark hair, almost as hot as me.
- Was your dad a glassmaker? - No?
- So you aren't see-through? - No.
You're blocking our view of the dancefloor.
Anything else, Grampa?
- A rum and Coke would be nice. - A rum and Coke.
What's the biggest part of a Manta?
The passenger's tits.
- Thomas! Tino! - I can say that, I drive a Manta.
- Do you have a problem? - No, do they look like a problem?
- I'm on a roll here. - Take a hike.
- What? - Get lost.
Hey, boys. Cool music.
- What's Grampa doing here? - Fuck.
Groovy joint here, not bad.
You really know how to party.
I'll pay you back, okay?
Hey, how about another round? It's on Daniel.
- Could you just leave, please? - Relax, we're hereto have fun.
What is this?
Good shit.
.Hey- .Hey-
- What do you want? - A Sex on the Beach.
- A Sex on the Beach? - Something wrong?
- Not at all. - Salem.
Bartender.
Hi. I'm Klausi.
- Let's get it on. - Finally someone says it.
- Really? - Ten minutes, ladies' room.
Okay, boss.
Go on ahead, get undressed,
and I won't meet you there.
No problemo.
Man.
Needed that.
When it rains, it pours. Who's your daddy?
- That's the ladies'. - I know.
Yeah.
- You forgot my drink. - Anna?
- Enjoy. - Sim-Salem-bim.
Guess I'll make another one.
- I'll be in touch. - Don't forget.
I got a date.
Flex.
- Dude, I said flex! - I am.
What the fuck?
- Let's go to the bathroom. - No sex before a race.
- I'm a pro. - Hey, frogface!
Katzbach, go home to your daddy.
- I'm bleeding! - Who are you?
- I'm his girlfriend, bitch. - Ls that why your noses match?
Did you call for back-up, Rico?
I'll eat them for breakfast.
Come on!
- Wow, hitting a defenseless girl? - Fuck you, Katzbach.
Come with me, Mücke.
- Pussy. - Shove it, Ufuk or Ali or whatever.
- I only want Katzbach. - Go get her.
Go get her, guys.
- Boys, simmer down. - There won't be any fighting.
Egi?
Jackie Chan or what?
- Okay, guys. - Yo, yo, yo. What's going on here?
- What's with him? - I just took a shit.
- Dude. - Next, please.
- Fuck yeah! - Who wants to go next?
- Is he dead? - Nah, old men just smell weird.
Okay. Let's go tell Tino. This dude's wasted.
How did I get home?
- Time to head out. - You look like shit.
I'm challenging that dishonorable prick Tom.
Says he's my friend while stabbing me in the back.
It's time for an honest fight.
You and me, Tom. A chicken race.
You know where.
You piece of shit.
- You okay, Klausi? - Never better.
I used to be into a Betty... Heidi's friend.
- Cindy's sister... - Go to sleep.
First gear. Engage the clutch... slowly.
Klausi, shut it, okay?
Parking brake.
Now reverse.
125 MPH
Hang on, bud. I'm coming for you.
- Shit. - What?
Need a diagram? The ball goes under your dress.
Sweetie.
- Happy? - I love you, sweetie.
Do you have shit for brains?
Step out of the car, turn around, hands up, legs spread.
- Hello there. - Kiss my ass.
- Aren't you JP Kraemer? - Yeah, I'm him.
Great, I'm a huge fan of yours.
I believe you, pal, but can't you see my girlfriend's pregnant?
But that isn't true...
- ls it yours, or...? - The Pope's.
- How? - Ls your brain fried or what?
She's pregnant. We need to go.
No problem. I'll drive ahead and keep the road clear.
- Anyone seen my speed gun? - Not me.
But he just threw it into that cornfield.
What's her problem?
- She's a good cook. - That's what counts.
- Agreed. - Can we take a photo?
- No. - I don't have my phone. Let's use yours.
You can send me the photo. I won't give anyone your number.
Brake carefully. Very carefully.
- Perfect, boss. - I told you not to call me "boss."
Hold his head up. He's obviously plastered.
Got it.
Hey!
Dipshits.
We aren't within town limits, Hauke!
Still! You can only honk in two cases.
- Have a nice day! - First...
To alert other drivers to danger. Second, to pass a vehicle.
- You're the king of fools. - That was neither.
- The what? - The king of fools. Hauke's here.
- Do you know who's in here? - Who?
JP Kraemer. So I'm letting you all off the hook this time.
Everything's tip-top!
Zero blood in Bertie's alcohol-stream.
- Get in here, sit down. - Shut up! There's a cop up there.
- I'm hungry. - Klausi, shut the hell up!
- Dude! - But I'm hungry.
Something fishy is going on.
Scream.
- Scream. - But I'm fine, nothing hurts.
- What happened? - It's coming.
Out of the way! Mantas coming through!
Klausi... take cover!
Daniel?
Pineapples? ls that a thing these days?
Get his head.
Get his head, dude!
He stinks. Why are his balls in my face?
- Because he kissed me. - It's not the same.
- Plus, I have a date. - Daniel? You here?
Looks like he split.
Aw, little Klausi.
What the fuck...
I'm challenging that dishonorable prick Tom.
Says he's my friend while stabbing me in the back.
Dude, the Cali's gone.
- "Gone"? - Gone, gone.
- A chicken race. - Fuck, guys.
He went to the quarry for a chicken race.
Shit. We didn't fix the brakes yet.
Time to go!
The rules are really simple.
Drive towards the cliff at full speed,
and whoever brakes first...
Jerkwad.
Loses.
- Go away. - Don't do it.
- Leonie, stay out of it. - There are three outcomes.
- You brake and lose. - I'm not gonna brake before him.
Tom brakes and you win. No one brakes, both win, both die.
Even if you win, there's a 33-percent chance you'll die.
- No way. - It's just math.
Fuck off, four-eyes.
Daniel, no. Please don't.
Daniel, Daniel. Daniel, fuck.
Fuck! Fuck!
What an idiot.
- Dumb cow. - Chill, four-eyes.
- Shit, they're actually doing it! - Shit!
- My God, Daniel's gonna die! - Daniel!
- No, Daniel!
- Why aren't you stopping? - Come on, brake!
Hello?
- It's Klausi. - Klausi.
- I screwed up. - What did you do?
I was drunk as a skunk and... cheated.
- I know it's no excuse, but... - Hang on...
- Who did you cheat on? - You.
Me? How did you manage that, exactly?
Yes, well... not really, but in my imagination.
- But you can imagine anything, Klausi. - That's almost as bad.
I'm such a bad person.
No, you aren't.
You're a wonderful person, Klausi. You know what?
I'll forgive you this time.
- How about a walk on Sunday? - That's the Classics, so I can't.
Why don't you come along?
- Drag racing's not my thing. - But it's going to be awesome.
We totally pimped the Calibra. We're going to win.
- I'll put' you on my VIP list. - On your VIP list?
Well, I guess I can't say no, can I?
- See you Sunday. - See you Sunday.
What happened to the Calibra?
- Did I do that? - Not this time, Klausi.
Daniel.
Where is he now?
Leonie drove him to Uschi's.
Who's Leonie?
It doesn't matter anymore.
- How is he? - He feels like shit.
What do we do now?
I'll send you all termination letters so you can apply for unemployment.
Then I'll close up shop. Forever.
Brother, you must be joking.
C'mon, Mücke.
Nobody's going to say anything? Fine.
Then I will. Rule number one:
The only ones to enter this house are me, your mom, and you.
Anybody else needs an invitation from me or your mom. Not you.
Rule number two: You may not lay a finger
on a car I'm paying for. Buy your own or take the bus.
Rule three: The only place you'll drive is to school and back.
Do you understand me? In other words...
Wake up, go to night school, come home.
- You're grounded. - Gunnar, in terms of parenting Daniel...
And as soon as you get your diploma, you're out of here.
You go live your life, and we'll live ours.
Gunnar.
I agree.
I agree. I'll do everything you say.
But I have one condition.
Did he just say he has a condition?
What do you need? A new Mercedes?
Money? Kerosene to burn my house down?
You loan my dad the money he needs
so he doesn't lose his garage.
- Daniel, I don't think... - Quiet.
I'm an investor, not a bank.
- Gunnar... - I said, be quiet.
That garage is his whole life.
The go-kart track, too.
And I ruined everything.
Exactly. And you know why?
Your father lacks discipline,
which is exactly what I'm teaching you now.
- Please. - End of discussion.
Ursula, the dumplings, please.
Sit back down until we've finished eating, got it?
You leave my child alone right now, got that?
He's not a damn child anymore!
Do whatever you want. You will either way.
- Don't talk to my mom like that, prick. - Daniel.
- What did you say? - Something in your ears, prick?
Are you out of your mind?
You really screwed him up. Didn't hurt at all.
- We knew this would happen, right? - But you didn't give up.
We'll find something new.
Isn't that what we've always done?
- You sure about that? - 73 percent sure.
Hey, Lukas. Hey, Stella.
- We brought ten euros today. - We spoke to our parents.
Keep it, it's on me today.
- Really? - Yes, go play as long as you like.
- Thanks! - Cool, then we'll take ten popsicles.
Ice cream's free today, too.
If Mom and Dad get divorced,
then I'll tell her to marry you.
Sounds like a great plan, Stella.
- You're a good dad, you know? - They aren't mine.
- Sure about that? - 73 percent sure.
What are you doing here?
Sulking in the garage so someone'll ask you
why you're sulking in the garage?
You don't have a clue.
But I do have time. If you want to talk about it.
- Maybe we can just drive around? - Let me think about it...
Okay. Whatever the sulky boy in the garage wants.
- Pretty cool car. - I know. I fixed it up myself.
- You're into fixing cars? - A bit.
Can I drive it sometime?
The guy who totaled his car in front of me?
That... wasn't mine.
That's your reasoning?
- Why did you stop by? - I was wondering how you were doing.
- So-so. - Because of Tessa.
You know...
I don't know what her problem is.
- Maybe you're the problem? - Wow.
You could've said that before I got in your car.
You try to be someone you're not
to impress a girl who only likes the fake you.
Was that more... math?
Psychology-
BERTIE'S PIT STOP VEHICLE SERVICE, SALES AND GO-KARTS
ls this seat taken?
Cool jacket.
I took it from your closet.
I know. Suits you.
May I?
Do you remember when I drove for the first time in here?
Or our first race.
- Even back then, I was faster than you. - As if.
Mom even made me a certificate. Don't you remember?
I let you win. So your mom made me a certificate for that.
Dad...
Why did you quit racing?
Because of the accident?
I've had so many accidents in my life. That was normal for me.
The trick is to get right back up again. Just like horseback riding.
Otherwise, the accident gets you up here...
and you never step foot in a racecar again.
But why didn't you get right back up?
- I did get up. - But?
I climbed out of the wreckage and puked.
Car's totalled, lost the race...
You're a national laughingstock.
I didn't spend one second thinking about how
I should really be grateful to have survived at all.
And then?
You all visited me in the hospital,
threw your arms around me and started crying.
I never wanted to see that fear in your eyes again.
So it was for Mücke and me...
that you gave up your dream?
Dad, that was your life.
You two are my life.
You definitely would've won tomorrow.
Too bad.
What is that?
My God... My baby.
What the fuck.
- Mom, what is this hideous car? - Don't let your father hear you.
What... is this?
- What? - Yeah, this?
I thought you sold it to pay for your salon.
- I didn't have the heart. - It's just as beautiful as ever.
Dude, this car is old and freaking ugly.
God!
Still has the steering wheel.
- And the Schroth harness. - Yes.
The colors are an eyesore.
- No way this was ever hip. - Hey!
Everybody was jealous of me and this car.
- Were they blind? - No, they were Manta fans.
This car was legendary.
Yeah, and back then you also wore pegged jeans,
and those new wave hairdos...
That was ten years earlier, silly. So, can you get her ready in time?
- If you didn't take anything out, yes. - It's all still there.
Except the engine, I pawned that for my first salon.
So it just has 60 HP now.
- You're not serious? - No. Kidding.
As if anyone would pay me for that.
- It still has 135. - "Jalopy."
So we still need to add 250.
Then we need to put the Vectra engine from the Calibra into the Manta.
From that Calibra? The engine still works?
Sim-Salem-bim.
Hang on, I need to get this.
- You aren't serious, are you? - Just a sec.
- Hello? - Salem?
- Yes? - We're back in the game.
What? Really?
- Come straight here. Call Klausi. - On my way, boss.
- What? - We have to change the colors.
- The colors stay. - The colors are a nightmare!
The colors stay.
Bye.
Bertie? Why are you still here?
You need to be ready in four hours. Let's get you to the sofa.
I can't sleep now, I'm full of adrenaline.
Come on. I'll tell you a bedtime story.
I don't need one.
- Dad, Mom's right. - Go on.
- Come on. - You're all ganging up on me.
- Time for bed. - Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Sleep well. Sweet dreams.
Men, we still have work to do. Andiamo, let's go.
Allez!
Once upon a time, a prince wanted only to marry a princess.
But she had to be a real princess.
What's a "real princess"?
Someone like me?
So the prince traveled the world looking for this princess.
But he couldn't find anyone. He sadly returned home.
Until one night, there was a terrible storm.
Right on time.
The prince made her his wife,
because he knew he had finally found a real princess.
And the pea...
Well, who's talking.
Sweet dreams, my prince.
What happened to the pea?
I'll tell you what happened to the pea tomorrow.
You looked really cute asleep.
- Yeah? - How are you feeling?
Today, we're going to write history.
Guys, what are you doing? Dad's not blind.
What part of "the colors stay" did you not understand?
Dude, admit it. You think it's cool, too.
That damn hood?
- It's not a V8. - Brother, I know that.
But your opponents don't. It's psychological warfare.
Exactly, Dad.
It's actually pretty cool, right?
Okay, guys! We need to go.
Dad?
Mom?
It's all black.
Yes.
At least the harness is still the same color.
- It's the bomb, right? - You're totally into it.
- I'm in love. - With the Manta.
With that, too.
That's old Bertie Katzbach.
- Piece of shit. - Did it sting you, Mücke?
I'm just checking out my hat.
- What's with your daughter? - Our daughter.
This car is worth 150,000 euros?
Hello there, handsome.
Hello, lovely lady. Well, look at that: Mr. Katzbach.
- What are you doing here? - Volunteering.
Idiots aren't allowed to race.
You're too late.
Fuck.
I'll ask you one question.
- Answer correctly and you can race. - Okay, shoot.
A submarine is flying through the desert.
Signals left, but flies to the right.
Everyone disembarks. Who wins?
There aren't any balls in the trunk.
Unbelievable. Correct.
If only you'd been that smart in the real test.
I save my smartness for the important moments.
Drive safely.
- How did you know the answer, Dad? - Plain as day.
How so?
There are rarely balls in the trunk.
Guess who?
I know that voice from somewhere.
The two bombshells are here, too.
- I have a cute photo of you here. - May I see it?
Of course.
Photo of me.
Seems you've discovered a new side of yourself.
- That's not my dad. - Yes, it most certainly is.
Going 36 above the speed limit.
- It's over. - We'll get the cash somehow.
- How? - We'll rob a bank.
- Won't work, Werner knows how I look. - No need to rob a bank.
Just frame the photo. The case has been closed.
But I think I get a big fat smooch right here, no?
It'll be the best kiss I've ever had.
Oldest trick in the book.
- And my dad fell for it. - I did.
There's no speed limit here. Leave 'em in the dust.
- Thanks. - Go on.
Excuse me, Mr. Lewandowski.
Lewandowski? What can I do for you?
Have you seen a stunning Turkish girl
with doe eyes anywhere?
- Can you be a little more specific? - She's... unique.
You loon.
Hey, Bertie.
- Axel. - You're late.
They won't fire the pistol till Katzbach's in position.
- Only you believe that. - Nice helmet, may I?
- No greasy fingers? - No.
- I went to your garage recently. - Heard about that.
I was interested in the Calibra.
But then I realized the air freshener was worth more than the car.
You can tell your friend Klausi that the boots are soft as butter.
I will. He'll be happy to hear it.
Exactly. So you owe me 2000 bucks.
Two... thousand... bucks.
- I don't have that much. - Bertie.
How much do you have?
Roughly...
that much.
What was that for?
That, dear Axel, was a tiny bit of payback
for punching my friend Klausi.
- Bertie, is that you? - Cold.
- There you are. - Of course.
- Do you know what you're doing? - I was born holding a wrench, Klausi.
Sounds like a tough birth.
Klausi, man!
- The ratchet! - Why didn't you say?
Look, it's where hope goes to die.
Hey, my fries.
Don't talk to the crazy bitch.
I could straighten your nose again. With this.
- No need. - Your dad'll pay for that on the track.
You won't be laughing soon.
You really think you can win with that hearse?
- Ouch. - Boo.
You forgot something.
- See you on the track. - But only from behind.
Stop!
Axel?
- Who's that I see? - You've never looked better.
Who's in the back row, hooking for losers?
- Wow. - Sorry, don't have any change on me.
I'm gonna mop the floor with you, Bertie.
Uschi, tell him this is the last time
he'll see the front of me.
C'mere, my hero.
Come back in one piece. We have some catching up to do.
Bertie Katzbach: The biggest comeback of the year in motorsports.
A warm welcome to you all
here at' the Bilster Berg Classics.
The anticipation is immense-
Everyone wants to see what this man is still capable of.
Can he pull off the same feat as all those years ago?
The race is starting.
- But what's going on with Katzbach? - No way.
Katzbach hasn '1' budged while everyone else passes him!
- I don't believe it. - What kind of start is that'?
- This can be be happening. - Shit.
Katzbach is stuck and the rest are getting ahead.
- Shock at' Bilster Berg. - Come on, baby. Come on.
The race couldn"t be off to a worse start'.
Katzbach is there at the right of the screen.
It's hard to believe.
Please start, please, please.
- Yes, baby. - Now he's go! it.
He's go! it.
Now all he can do is slam the pedal to the metal,
go full throttle.
What' '5 still possible?
All the way at the back.
The others are all far ahead here at' Bilster Berg.
Including the favorites." Malicki, Feucht, Möhler; Jonas Nagel.
Over the past few Weeks and months,
they've demonstrated their mastery of the racetrack.
Bertie!
Where's Rico?
Way ahead of you, third place.
- Dude. - Let me pass, douchebag.
He '5 fighting his way up.
One thing's clear: He can still do it.
He can still race.
Katzbach, between them!
It's risky, but it's the only way.
Hey!
Watch out. They're both airborne!
But nothing worse has happened.
And Katzbach has it in the bag.
Figured it out. And he '5 catching up-
They're coming.
Jones Nagel, he There's Katzbach. Unbelievable.
He's catching up with the leaders.
Leaving Nagel behind!
- Fuck.Fuck. - Wild, he's passed him-
What about Möhler? All he can do is watch.
He's got him, too.
Shit! Go.
Fuck.
Bertie! Bertie!
I can't brake! Shit.
God.
Thanks, Bertie.
Shit.
- Shit, you prick. - Come on!
Go. Make room!
I'm faster, jerkwad!
Nothing's happened to Lukas Podolski.
Now Katzbach's behind Rico Feucht.
- Fuck! - Katzbach's riding his bumper.
You're not getting me.
Head to head against Rico Feucht. He's leaving him behind!
FUCK you!
Katzbach passes Rico Feucht.
- The crowd's going wild. - Fuck!
Feucht can do do anything. Katzbach is gone.
Incredible. He isn't really going to...
Final round, Dad. You got this.
Yeah, keep it up!
He might win the Classics here-
Only Jakob Malicki left ahead of Bertie Katzbach.
What a showdown.
Will the victor be decided now?
- Neither is backing down- - Come on, Rico.
That's how you do it, baby.
Ciao.
No!
Yes!
Bertie, asshole, we'll meet again!
Fuck.No.
Fuck you.
- You asshole. - Show me what you got.
The miracle of Bilster Berg
is really happening.
Bertie Katzbach.
He's still go! it.
Made it all the way from last place
to winning the title.
This is unbelievable.
Nice one, Bertie.
I want that too. One Kölsch, please.
Sure thing.
- That's why they invented trashcans. - Man, I'm so sweaty.
I like it when you're sweaty.
- What? - You make a cute couple.
We're not a couple. We went on one date.
Go over there, Klausi, and claim her.
- How? - Ask if she wants to go out with you.
Go. Go, go, go.
Siri?
Could you maybe picture...
under certain circumstances...
going out with me?
To get ice cream?
No, no. I mean, don't people say that
when you're in love with somebody?
Well, for me it was love at first sight.
Me too. Look...
Sorry.
- I love you. - I love you.
Hey, this is like in "Rocky," you know?
At the end, when he's all beat up from the fight: "Adrian..."
And she's all, "Rocky, I love you."
And he's like, "I love you."
You know? He doesn't say, "I love you too,"
he says, "I love you."
- That was so cool. - Honey, I was sitting right next to you.
- That was you? - Yes.
What a bumpkin.
Fastest bumpkin in the world.
Nino de Angelo. This is Uschi's and my song.
Guys, what's five million years old and sings "Guardian Angel"?
- Beats me. - Dino de Angelo.
- Great. - Did you get it?
If you have to pay for love
Just' to be tender once
Then We lived for nothing
/ want to feel a new love with you
A new love with you
Even if we only touch through thoughts
One day / have to leave forever
Then / wan! to say
This world was beautiful
- I need to crap. - Turn off that shitty music already!
Ursula, no! Not the "ll piffera..."
No!
Dude, what are you doing?
Here.
- This is his pride and joy. - There's nothing else.
- It's just a dumb newspaper clipping. - Forgive me, Uncle.
- You don't have to eat the husk. - It's yummy, though.
Hey! What was that?
- Looks like piss to me. - Yep, piss.
Do you have a good joke, Mr. Aslan?
- You, Emel? - No.
- Guess I have to go again. - Yeah.
Tastes like shit.
- Hey, Mücke. - Evelyn. How are you?
Take a pic!
- One scoop of Stratz-Nutella, please. - Stratz what?
- Stratz-Nutella. - Nutella?
White ice cream with little chocolate sprinkles.
- Hey, homie, bro, what's up? - What did you say?
Hey, homie, bro, what's up?
Why him?
He's dumb, old, and ugly as sin.
- Love transcends age. - He's still dumb and ugly.
"Premium Deluxe," that's what you need.
That's exactly what he said to me.
As a result, my entire winnings from "I'm A Celebrity" are gone.
Nothing left. Nata.
- I'm the chosen one. - You look like it, dude.
Take these. They'll lower your cholesterol.
It's good for you. Believe me.
Do I pay you banana benders to just stand around doing nothing
while the club descends into chaos?
- A two-euro tip? - Treat yourself.
To an ice cream or something.
- I need to talk to your father. - Please don't.
- He'll tan my hide. - I hope so.
Are you drunk?
Bertie?
- How the old Manta looked... - Yeah.
Beautiful. Truly, truly beautiful.
Really delicious.
Hold the shot. Feeding time. What's with you, Tyrese?
- Cramp. - What?
Cramp.
Really? Zoom in on me and Tamer, bosom buddies.
Get well soon.
No Limits Media 2023 Subtitles: L. Ferguson, N. Alboino