1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:33,240 [light music playing] 4 00:00:41,317 --> 00:00:43,422 - [gentle ping] - [electricity hums gently] 5 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,120 [audience applauding, laughing] 6 00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,778 [man] I was right. I was right. 7 00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:57,643 Now, that's nice. That's got me, that's good. 8 00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:59,749 Most people don't get me, you know. 9 00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,786 Nobody's direct anymore, you notice this? 10 00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:06,480 Everybody's got, like, a secret language. 11 00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,724 It's like a code for what they really wanna say. 12 00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:12,451 Like the doctor who first told me my son was autistic. 13 00:01:12,555 --> 00:01:15,247 You know, he says to me, he says, "You know, the autistic mind 14 00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:19,803 is wired in brilliant and revolutionary ways." 15 00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:22,323 I said, "Oh, yeah? 16 00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:23,945 How so?" 17 00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,327 Because, you know, my son didn't speak. 18 00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:28,985 Didn't speak at all for years. 19 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,332 Communicated only in grunts, growls 20 00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:33,576 and ear-piercing screams. 21 00:01:33,679 --> 00:01:37,614 [dramatic piano instrumental playing] 22 00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:43,965 And then when he finally started speaking, he wouldn't shut up. 23 00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:47,348 - [audience laughing] - It's true. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. 24 00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:50,144 That doctor could've saved us both a lot of time if he'd just said the truth. 25 00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:52,871 Just slap those bitches, and show 'em who's boss! 26 00:01:52,974 --> 00:01:55,874 - Ezra! - Autistic kids don't give a fuck, man. 27 00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:59,602 - Say my name! Say my name! - [man] They don't. They don't. 28 00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:01,949 [indistinct shouting] 29 00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:05,159 [intense orchestral music playing] 30 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,301 You look good. 31 00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,855 How's work? 32 00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:12,856 Good. 33 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,790 When did Ezra see Breaking Bad? 34 00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:17,585 We binged it last weekend. 35 00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:22,935 - Maybe we should be a little more careful. - What-- what do you mean? 36 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,972 He's been reading the New York Times since he was five. 37 00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,491 He can handle Walter White. 38 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,872 - [woman] Thank you for coming in. - Hi! 39 00:02:28,976 --> 00:02:31,254 - Hi, Jenna. - Mrs. Lee, hi. Nice to see you. 40 00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:33,670 Max, you both know Dr. Tamarova. 41 00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:34,637 [Jenna] Mm-hmm. 42 00:02:36,294 --> 00:02:38,192 [woman] Ezra, please stay with Anthony. 43 00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,436 Hi, hi, Ms. Cathro. 44 00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:41,816 Uh, what-- what's happening? 45 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,818 Why is Ezra not with the rest of the class? 46 00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:45,475 [Cathro] He's really been acting out today. 47 00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:47,097 I have other students who want to learn, 48 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,547 who count on me to keep them safe. 49 00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,411 - I'm getting so tired of this shit. - Max, please. 50 00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,689 No, you know that he's bullied here, right? 51 00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:55,727 Yeah, maybe he was trying to make that vicious little kid laugh. 52 00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,867 Ezzie came home with a bloody lip last week. 53 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,282 Anybody get expelled for that? 54 00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:00,525 Spoke to that boy's parents as well. 55 00:03:00,628 --> 00:03:01,905 Right, but Ezzie's the bad one. 56 00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:03,424 [doctor] No, no, Ezra is not bad, 57 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:05,909 but today, he was a danger to himself and others. 58 00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:08,153 There it is, there it is. The secret language. 59 00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:09,844 - I was waiting for it. - [Jenna] Max. 60 00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:11,639 - Huh? - Max! Stop. 61 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:19,751 You can't expel him. He's been working very, very hard. 62 00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:21,787 And, yes, he has had his bad days, 63 00:03:21,891 --> 00:03:24,756 but he's also met a lot of the goals 64 00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:26,240 that you set for him. 65 00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:28,380 Ms. Lee, please. 66 00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:30,831 Y-You can't drop him. 67 00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:33,868 [man] Max, this autism shit, it's depressing. 68 00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:35,560 [woman] You can talk about whatever you want 69 00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,009 if you give us a reason to want to listen. 70 00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:39,702 And I want to listen. I think my cousin's autistic. 71 00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,636 - But it's gotta be funny. - [man] See, the sign says comedy on it. 72 00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,603 - It's not a funeral parlor. - [Max] Huh. 73 00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:46,018 What is this, a fucking intervention? 74 00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:49,159 [man 2] I disagree. You need to go deeper, further. 75 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,471 Make a whole set out of it. 76 00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:51,714 Well, make a whole evening out of it. 77 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:53,681 You know, "Disabilities with Max." 78 00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:55,580 Well, I'm not telling jokes. I'm storytelling. 79 00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:57,375 I know you're not, but you gotta make it funny. 80 00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:59,618 Sad stories, Jackie, you should see his sad stories. 81 00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:01,033 [Jackie] Oh, I've seen 'em plenty. 82 00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,242 [man 2] Divorce is not for pussies. 83 00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,898 [man] Nosy, dark, and sexy. 84 00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:05,555 Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to tell you 85 00:04:05,659 --> 00:04:07,385 - I loved your set. - [man] There you go. 86 00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:09,352 - [Max] Thank you. - You're welcome. I'm Susan. 87 00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:10,698 Can I buy you a drink? 88 00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:12,907 [man] I'd save the dough. This guy is in mourning. 89 00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:17,015 [Max sobbing] 90 00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:21,640 [Susan] Hey. 91 00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:24,022 - Are you crying? - Ah, come on. 92 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,337 I'll call you. 93 00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:30,511 Really? 94 00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:33,273 No. 95 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:48,943 [sighs] He cried, didn't he? 96 00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:53,016 It's his kid, my grandson. 97 00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:57,987 You hungry? 98 00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,437 Fix you something to eat. 99 00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:08,342 [piano melody playing] 100 00:05:08,446 --> 00:05:10,033 [Jenna] It's a bigger number than we discussed, 101 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:13,554 but it's exactly the neighborhood that you wanted. 102 00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:15,384 Listen, th-there are multiple bids, 103 00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,731 so I think we have to come in above the ask. 104 00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:22,045 I wish that wasn't the case, but, unfortunately, 105 00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:23,564 it's still a seller's market. 106 00:05:24,496 --> 00:05:26,705 Ezra! Breakfast! 107 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:31,331 [♪] 108 00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:34,989 [urine splashing] 109 00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:49,659 - Where'd you get the shirt? - Come on. Cut it out. It's not your shirt. 110 00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,868 - You sure it's not my shirt? - I'm sure. 111 00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:58,323 Enrico moved to the Ritz. 112 00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,498 And my building is still a union house, 113 00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:01,947 and there's an opening now, so... 114 00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:04,225 - Yeah? - ...I want you to consider that. 115 00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:05,641 Yeah, okay. 116 00:06:05,744 --> 00:06:07,367 I'm just not gonna be a doorman, Pop, thank you. 117 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,127 There's nothing wrong with being a doorman. 118 00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,992 And a man your age shouldn't be living with his father. 119 00:06:13,476 --> 00:06:17,100 They're expelling him. They expelled Ez. 120 00:06:17,204 --> 00:06:18,861 They want me to put him in a special needs school. 121 00:06:18,964 --> 00:06:21,795 Nah, none of it's special. It's all bullshit. 122 00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:23,900 Yeah, there it is, they're recommending drugs. 123 00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,250 Put him in a gym, let him work off that special sauce. 124 00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:31,149 - Yeah. - But you gotta keep fighting. 125 00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:33,531 Yeah, keep fighting, right. You know how much that's costing me? 126 00:06:33,634 --> 00:06:34,980 I'm paying for her lawyer, my lawyer. 127 00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:36,913 Jenna knows I'm broke. Can I have a fork, please? 128 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:39,088 She knows you're still not over her, too. That's one thing. 129 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,987 Just cut it out already, all right? Give me a break. Come on. 130 00:06:42,091 --> 00:06:44,265 Okay, who cries after fucking a stranger? 131 00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:46,889 That's crazy. You gotta move on, kiddo. 132 00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:48,925 Believe me, I know what it's like to fuck things up with a woman 133 00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,134 and to get stuck with a kid on top of it. 134 00:06:51,238 --> 00:06:53,551 More coffee? 135 00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:55,518 Yeah, what, am I new here? I'll take a coffee. 136 00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:57,762 [siren blaring] 137 00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:00,834 Tell me something good, Jayne. 138 00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:03,423 I have something really, really good. 139 00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,459 I'm not doing it. Nah, I write for me now. 140 00:07:05,563 --> 00:07:06,874 - Come here. - For me. 141 00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:08,117 Come here. 142 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,532 I'm not sitting on your lap. 143 00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:10,809 I got something to tell you. 144 00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:12,362 Come on. 145 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,985 You don't want me to get up. 146 00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:17,264 All right, no one's gonna hire me in late night anymore. 147 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,300 Conan fucking blackballed me. 148 00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,406 Well, you punched him in the balls. 149 00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,097 Well, I was aiming for his stomach. 150 00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:24,651 He's so fucking tall! 151 00:07:27,343 --> 00:07:29,069 - Why are you so crazy? - [grunts] 152 00:07:29,172 --> 00:07:32,900 Listen, Robert Segal has heard great things about you. 153 00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:35,178 Robert Segal. What, Kimmel's booker? 154 00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:37,698 He wants to see you down at the Cellar tonight. 155 00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,528 No, I can't. I can't do it tonight. 156 00:07:39,631 --> 00:07:41,426 I'm taking Ezzie to The Big Lebowski tribute. 157 00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:43,946 We're gonna dress up like the characters, throw shit at the screen. 158 00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:46,604 - It's gonna be awesome. - That's all cute, but not tonight. 159 00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:47,984 I can't. I can't let the dude down. 160 00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:50,539 You wanna do something for your son? 161 00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:54,059 You get Mr. Segal to book you on Mr. Kimmel. 162 00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:57,097 [Jenna] Okay, ready? I'm getting the costume. 163 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,098 Okay. 164 00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:00,721 Okay, this is cozy. 165 00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:06,934 - This is gonna be itchy. - I know. 166 00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,039 [Jenna] Okay. 167 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,181 - Okay. - Wait, not now, I got it. 168 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:15,598 - I got it. - [Jenna laughing] 169 00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:18,636 You look so cute! 170 00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,604 - [Ezra screaming] - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 171 00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:24,883 - It's okay. Sorry. It's okay. - [whimpers] 172 00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:27,299 - [pants] - I'm sorry, Ezzie. It's okay. 173 00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:29,163 It's okay. It's okay. 174 00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:31,580 It's okay. 175 00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:41,141 - [traffic noise] - [birds chirping] 176 00:08:43,246 --> 00:08:45,248 [indistinct chatter] 177 00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:57,606 [man] I got it, honey. 178 00:08:58,676 --> 00:09:00,401 Wow, look at you. 179 00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,543 - So, a lawyer walks into a bar-- - No, no. Don't do that, Bryce. 180 00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,821 - It's Bruce. - Ezzie! Ezzie! 181 00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:07,719 And you're "Hay-zeus," the bowler, right? 182 00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,687 It's "Jesus," man. 183 00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,033 - Jesus. - Have you not seen the movie? 184 00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:13,587 No, it's been a-- oh! And here's the Big Lebowski! 185 00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:16,003 I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. 186 00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:16,935 I'm The Dude. 187 00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:18,592 [Max] Well, not yet you're not. 188 00:09:18,696 --> 00:09:20,249 Let's see. 189 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,044 Now you're The Dude. 190 00:09:22,147 --> 00:09:24,494 [Jenna] Let me see. 191 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:25,944 Just in case. [clears throat] 192 00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,568 Okay, he's with me. He's not gonna have a meltdown. 193 00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:30,949 Sure. Well, we'll be back by 9:00, 194 00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:32,744 so just the movie and straight home. 195 00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:34,435 - Promise? - Yeah, I promise. 196 00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:35,609 - Okay! - Okay. 197 00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:37,507 [Jenna] Okay. 198 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,958 - Straight home, guys. - Yeah. You, too. Okay? 199 00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:41,822 - [Jenna] Have fun! - [Max] All right. 200 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,134 [Bruce] He didn't like my joke. 201 00:09:43,237 --> 00:09:47,345 [hard rock music playing] 202 00:09:50,935 --> 00:09:54,317 [overlapping chatter] 203 00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:55,698 You're nice. 204 00:09:55,802 --> 00:09:57,562 [man] What's up, buddy? 205 00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:59,046 [Max] Jack-Jack-Jacquelyn. 206 00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:01,152 - What's up, Max? - I'm gonna go get changed. 207 00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:02,981 - Hey, Ezra. - Hi. 208 00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,190 Have you been to a costume ball, then, love? 209 00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:07,503 No. Big Lebowski, 7:00 p.m. show. 210 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,470 Oh! Great movie. Love it. 211 00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:11,576 I'll have a White Russian. 212 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,890 Virgin White Russian for The Dude. 213 00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:17,617 Actually, pineapple juice. I'll have a pineapple juice. 214 00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:28,248 - You make me think of pirates. - Really? That's weird. 215 00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:29,283 Yes. 216 00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:32,321 Even though the pirate accent 217 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,426 is typically West Country English. 218 00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:36,256 Yaarrgh! 219 00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:37,740 The Irish are fine pirates. 220 00:10:37,844 --> 00:10:39,811 [door creaks open] 221 00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:42,780 Oh! Drop the lobe! Drop the lobe. 222 00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:47,094 Max is stoned, everyone. Max is stoned. 223 00:10:47,198 --> 00:10:48,061 Really, dude? 224 00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:49,062 [Emma] I don't know if anyone's 225 00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,857 in an interracial relationship. 226 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,893 I'm in one. My girlfriend's Puerto Rican. 227 00:10:52,997 --> 00:10:55,171 - Yes! Thank you. I appreciate that. - [Max] See him? 228 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:57,346 Okay, see the guy over there with glasses? 229 00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,107 That's him. Okay, I need my Ezzie mojo, okay? 230 00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:01,971 You ready to be my good luck charm? 231 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,941 Find me a more unhappy human being. 232 00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:09,013 Depressing. Why would I do that? 233 00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:11,187 Don't be so literal, Ezzie. Come on, let's go. 234 00:11:11,291 --> 00:11:14,087 Every time my dad interacts with a gay person, he calls me. 235 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,158 - [audience laughing] - [Emma] Every interaction. 236 00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:18,229 It doesn't matter how small it is. He called me the other day. 237 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:19,920 He was like, "Emma, I was at the grocery store, 238 00:11:20,024 --> 00:11:22,095 and I looked over, and I saw a lesbian." 239 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,443 And I was like, "That's great, dad. How did you know she was a lesbian?" 240 00:11:25,546 --> 00:11:28,273 He said "Well, she looked like you." "Goodbye, Pop!" 241 00:11:28,377 --> 00:11:30,897 - Okay, guys, ready for your next comic? - [audience cheering] 242 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,416 Gimme the mojo. Gimme the mojo! Gimme the mojo! 243 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,246 One of my personal favorites. 244 00:11:35,349 --> 00:11:37,697 He was a writer for some of the biggest names in the business. 245 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,974 Now he writes for himself. 246 00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:40,630 Clap it up for my buddy, Max Bernal! 247 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,631 Let him hear ya! 248 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,875 - [audience applauding] - Yes! 249 00:11:43,979 --> 00:11:45,912 [audience cheering] 250 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,501 - That's Emma Willmann! Give it up! - [audience cheering] 251 00:11:50,951 --> 00:11:53,160 - How we feeling? - [audience] Good. 252 00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:55,438 - Now, take it easy. I don't really care. - [audience laughing] 253 00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:59,132 My son is here tonight! That's right. My son is here tonight. 254 00:12:00,996 --> 00:12:02,549 Dying of shame. 255 00:12:02,652 --> 00:12:04,309 Stand up, and take the wig off, Ez! 256 00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:08,072 - Stop talking about me! - [audience laughing] 257 00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:10,591 Okay. I didn't expect that. Uh, you know, 258 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,179 try to have a little respect, okay, Ez? 259 00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:14,872 I'm up here humiliating myself to give you a better life. 260 00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:17,046 - [audience laughing] - All right. 261 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:18,738 I'm good to you, you little prick. 262 00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:20,809 - Not like my old man. - Pop-Pop! 263 00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,949 That's right. Pop-Pop. 264 00:12:23,052 --> 00:12:25,054 That's the last time he'll speak, by the way. 265 00:12:25,158 --> 00:12:28,161 Pop-Pop, that's actually the perfect name for my old man. 266 00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,922 Pop-Pop. It's like two gunshots. 267 00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,476 One to the head, one to the heart. "Pop! Pop!" 268 00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:35,651 Let me tell you a little bit about my old man. 269 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,827 This guy, you know, he was a-- one of the top gourmet chefs 270 00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,518 in New York City back in the day. 271 00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:43,279 Worked at all the top restaurants. It's true, you know. 272 00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:45,695 Every one of which he got shit-canned from 273 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,732 because nobody could stand working with him. 274 00:12:47,836 --> 00:12:49,492 I mean, the guy got driven out of town, 275 00:12:49,596 --> 00:12:52,116 and the only place he could find a job as a chef 276 00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:54,739 was at a steakhouse in Nebraska. 277 00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,706 - [audience] Ooh! - That's right. 278 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,917 You know cuisine in Nebraska, man. 279 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,746 - There isn't any. - [audience laughing] 280 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:06,820 I mean, you kill it, they grill it, you get a Michelin tire, see? 281 00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:09,340 So, I'm five years old, I'm living in Nebraska, 282 00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:12,170 it's my birthday party, and you know, it's a lot of pressure. 283 00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:14,966 I mean, you know, I've got these fat farmers' kids staring at me. 284 00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:18,798 I'm the only thing standing between them and the cake, so, you know... 285 00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:23,009 Papier-mâché bib, it's 1980, so you know everything I'm wearing 286 00:13:23,112 --> 00:13:24,527 is made out of napalm. 287 00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:27,254 I bend down, blow out my candles, 288 00:13:27,358 --> 00:13:29,222 I'm about to do it when I hear my pop say, 289 00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,603 "Blow out your fucking candles, Max!" 290 00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:33,053 [audience laughing] 291 00:13:33,157 --> 00:13:36,160 I flinch. I fall forward. 292 00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:39,094 Candle lights me up. I light up like a fucking road flare. 293 00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:41,682 I'm telling you, I am on fire! 294 00:13:41,786 --> 00:13:44,237 My old man, he grabs his Dr. Pepper, 295 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,446 he puts me out like a campfire, and says, 296 00:13:46,549 --> 00:13:49,967 -"You want some cake, Maxie?" - [audience laughing] 297 00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:51,451 I says, "No, Pop. 298 00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:53,453 - I want my eyebrows back!" - I want my eyebrows back! 299 00:13:53,556 --> 00:13:55,904 [audience laughing] 300 00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:57,664 Thanks, kid. 301 00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,528 I'm gonna go kill my son. 302 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,531 Hey, I think it's great that you memorized my set, 303 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,360 but you can't be steppin' on my punchline, buddy. 304 00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:06,949 I can't let the train go off the rails! 305 00:14:07,053 --> 00:14:09,641 Okay, Ez, here comes Mr. Happy now. 306 00:14:09,745 --> 00:14:13,507 Okay, just whatever you're thinking, don't say it, okay, please. 307 00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:14,923 - Good set. - Thank you. 308 00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:17,028 - I think I'll book your kid. - Ha! 309 00:14:17,132 --> 00:14:18,581 You're still not funny, Bob. 310 00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:21,826 Ezzie, meet Mr. Segal. Bob, this is my son, Ezra. 311 00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,277 So, um, next week, a producer comes in 312 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:26,796 - to see you and Sal Argento. - All right. 313 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,938 And then, one of you is doing the Kimmel show in Los Angeles. 314 00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:33,182 Mr. Segal, are you sad because you're bald? 315 00:14:34,218 --> 00:14:36,013 - He's dark. - Mm. 316 00:14:36,116 --> 00:14:38,222 Like his daddy. [chuckles] 317 00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:40,258 - Get your best stuff together, Max. - Okay. 318 00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:42,812 - All right? You're gonna need it. - All right. All right. 319 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,297 [Bob chuckles] 320 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,714 Sad and bald? That's you not talking? 321 00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:50,406 - [Ezra] I was just asking a question. - [Max] Okay. 322 00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:53,582 Come on, let's get out of here before your mother kills me. 323 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,446 - [Ezra screams] - Sorry. Sorry. 324 00:15:01,762 --> 00:15:02,625 [Max] Well... 325 00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:10,426 [yawns] Oh, my god. 326 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,152 [Max] Okay. [grunts] 327 00:15:12,256 --> 00:15:14,258 Snug as a bug in a rug. 328 00:15:14,361 --> 00:15:15,328 [inhales] 329 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:16,570 [sighs] 330 00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,609 - [screams] - Okay. All right, all right. 331 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,024 I wasn't doing anything. 332 00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:27,581 Hey. We had a good time, right? 333 00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:29,480 - Just one more. - [screams] 334 00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:32,690 All right, all right! Hey. I love you. 335 00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:35,658 Good night. 336 00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:43,218 Who says autistic kids can't communicate? 337 00:15:43,321 --> 00:15:46,393 "Ah, get out of my room!" And I'm out. Yeah. 338 00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:48,464 He's the best communicator in the world. 339 00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:50,432 You can use the sensory brush next time. 340 00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,710 Nah, nah, nah, the brushing thing is your thing. 341 00:15:52,813 --> 00:15:54,470 What is he, an alpaca? 342 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:57,232 You did a set at the Cellar, and you promised me you wouldn't. 343 00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:59,268 - You're driving me crazy. - I'm sorry, okay? 344 00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,270 A guy from Kimmel came to see me, 345 00:16:01,374 --> 00:16:04,342 - and I needed my good luck charm, right? - Oh. 346 00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:06,413 You know me. I needed my mojo man. 347 00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,071 Did you read Dr. Tamarova's assessment? 348 00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:14,387 Look at you. You are so pretty. Come on. Give me a kiss. 349 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:16,009 - Brad's gone already. - Stop it. 350 00:16:16,113 --> 00:16:18,287 It's Bruce, and he's in the kitchen. 351 00:16:19,909 --> 00:16:22,326 - Brian is in my kitchen? - [Bruce] Hi, Max! 352 00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,259 You know, he's never gonna belong in our house. 353 00:16:24,362 --> 00:16:26,502 Max. This is my house. Did you read it? 354 00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,780 [sighs] Yeah, I read it. I read it, yes. 355 00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:30,920 But it was a mugging. They just want him out of there. 356 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,716 The Board of Ed will pay for him to go to a special needs school. 357 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,270 He doesn't need a special school. 358 00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:37,858 Max, he led 20 kids onto Washington Street. 359 00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,654 - It was incredibly dangerous. - Okay, but he's not dangerous. 360 00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:42,001 He's a challenge. 361 00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:44,106 Fuck. Nobody wants to do the fucking work. 362 00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:46,902 The work? The work. All I do is work. 363 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,629 You come here, you play dress up to take him to comedy club. 364 00:16:49,732 --> 00:16:51,907 - Bring him home at midnight. - That's not what I meant, okay? 365 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,150 Look, we're on the same team, Jen. 366 00:16:53,253 --> 00:16:56,153 You know how he thinks. I know how he thinks. 367 00:16:56,256 --> 00:16:58,189 He just needs to be seen, Jen, you know? 368 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:02,400 And heard and-- and appreciated for what he has to offer. 369 00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:05,058 Yes, yes, but he also needs to be able to give us a hug 370 00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:06,301 without screaming. 371 00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:10,443 It's an opportunity, Max. 372 00:17:10,546 --> 00:17:13,998 He'll be with trained teachers and aides 373 00:17:14,102 --> 00:17:15,275 in a school built for him, 374 00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:17,139 how he needs to learn. 375 00:17:18,485 --> 00:17:19,831 No bullies. 376 00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,283 He'll be with kids just like him. 377 00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:28,668 - Nice. Kids like him, huh? - Okay. 378 00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:31,498 - That's not what I meant. - You know what? I know what you meant. 379 00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:34,053 Here's the thing, I'm a kid like him. 380 00:17:34,156 --> 00:17:37,539 And kids like us, you know what we need? To be with all kinds of kids. 381 00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,921 So, no, I will not accept her recommendation fucking ever. 382 00:17:41,232 --> 00:17:43,821 - [door opens] - [sighs] 383 00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:44,856 [door shuts] 384 00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:55,695 - [Bruce] You all right? - [Jenna] No. 385 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,491 It never fails! 386 00:17:58,594 --> 00:17:59,906 Every time we get close to something 387 00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:01,045 that might actually work, 388 00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:02,805 Max has to blow it up! 389 00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,429 This is the third school that Ezra's been expelled from. 390 00:18:05,532 --> 00:18:09,088 There's no other options. What am I supposed to do? 391 00:18:09,191 --> 00:18:11,607 [Bruce] Well, I could get rid of Max for you. 392 00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,885 - [Jenna] Oh, you can do that for me? - Yeah. I'm a lawyer. 393 00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,370 I have no moral compass. 394 00:18:15,473 --> 00:18:19,512 Besides, I know a guy. They call him Jimmy the Hatchet. 395 00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:23,274 Bang, bang, bitches. Cut off his head, and feed him to the fishes! 396 00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:27,692 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 397 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:35,493 [Ezra murmuring in panic] 398 00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:39,946 - [dog barking] - [woman] Get down! Get down! [indistinct] 399 00:18:40,049 --> 00:18:42,362 - [car honking] - [tires screeching] 400 00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:53,166 [Jenna] It won't be too much longer, sweetie, 401 00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:55,755 but you scared the hell out of me. 402 00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:01,416 Honey, why'd you sneak out of the house like that? 403 00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,384 Hmm? Please don't do that ever. 404 00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:09,286 - Say you'll never do that. - I won't ever do that. 405 00:19:09,389 --> 00:19:11,633 Miss Demuzio saw you run in the street, 406 00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,980 and then a taxi came out and then he hit you. 407 00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,051 - I mean, you could've been-- - A dog tried to bite me. 408 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,260 I had to get away from his teeth. 409 00:19:18,364 --> 00:19:20,504 Hey, Jen. They're almost ready for him. 410 00:19:20,607 --> 00:19:22,161 No! 411 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,301 - [Jenna] It's okay. - [Max] Hey. 412 00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:27,166 - Hey. Dad's here. - What's happening? 413 00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,098 Hey, buddy. Hey, hey. You okay? 414 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:32,378 What's going on? Huh? What happened? 415 00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:35,381 - 14th Street Viaduct to Manhattan Avenue. - What? 416 00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:37,624 - Three blocks to the park at-- - Hey, hey, I know-- 417 00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:39,764 - I know you know where Pop-Pop lives. - I'm sorry. 418 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,422 Don't be sorry, okay? Just tell me what-- 419 00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:43,941 - You're mad. - No, I'm not mad. 420 00:19:44,044 --> 00:19:45,356 Okay, I'm not mad-- 421 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,186 Okay, you know what? Yeah, I'm a little bit mad. 422 00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:49,222 Eyes. Eyes. Ezzie. 423 00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:52,260 - What were you doing running outs-- - Can I talk to you for a second? 424 00:19:53,122 --> 00:19:54,710 [sighs] 425 00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:55,884 - Hey-- - [Ezra growls] 426 00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:01,441 [nurse] Ezra Bernal. 427 00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:03,857 - Why's he in the middle of the hallway? - They need to run tests. 428 00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:06,377 What do you mean tests? What tests? You mean like X-rays? 429 00:20:06,481 --> 00:20:08,103 - Psych evaluation. - What do you mean psych eval-- 430 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,933 - [medical bed rattles] - Hey, where you going? Hey, no, thanks. 431 00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:12,970 - I had the same reaction. - What psych evaluation? 432 00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:15,144 - He got hit by a cab. - It's protocol for children. 433 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:18,078 - Excuse me. Is there a problem? - Yeah. We need to see a doctor, please. 434 00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:21,668 - I'm Dr. Kaplan. - Oh, okay. We-- hey, stop! 435 00:20:21,772 --> 00:20:23,636 Sir, you need to let the man do his job. 436 00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:25,741 Yes. Let's just relax. Just-- 437 00:20:25,845 --> 00:20:27,743 - Dad? - Yeah, I'm right here, buddy. 438 00:20:27,847 --> 00:20:29,400 - [Jenna] We're here, honey. - Don't worry. 439 00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:31,057 We're gonna sort this out in a minute, okay? 440 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,369 [♪] 441 00:20:32,472 --> 00:20:36,407 [sirens wailing] 442 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,422 They made me draw pictures, 443 00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:55,426 stuck lights in my eyes and asked me questions. 444 00:20:56,393 --> 00:20:58,395 What kind of questions? 445 00:20:58,498 --> 00:21:03,089 They asked me if Mom or Dad ever tried to hit me. 446 00:21:03,192 --> 00:21:05,367 If I had ever tried to hurt myself. 447 00:21:07,231 --> 00:21:09,785 Okay, I'm sorry they asked you that kind of stuff. 448 00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:15,826 Are they gonna make me live 449 00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:17,276 somewhere else? 450 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,624 - Like in a hospital? - No. 451 00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:22,281 They can't. 452 00:21:22,384 --> 00:21:25,698 You have family, and they have to answer to us. 453 00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:29,736 - So, that's not gonna happen. - Okay. 454 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,186 Next move. 455 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,533 - You sure you want to do that? - Oh, yeah. 456 00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,295 KO. 457 00:21:36,398 --> 00:21:39,090 You had to do that, didn't you, huh? 458 00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:44,095 - [footsteps approaching] - Hi. 459 00:21:44,199 --> 00:21:45,511 Thank you for your patience. 460 00:21:45,614 --> 00:21:47,927 I know it's been a long night. 461 00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,238 I have some good news. 462 00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,275 We are going to send Ezra home this morning. 463 00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:53,622 - [Jenna sighs] - But because of his age 464 00:21:53,726 --> 00:21:56,176 and because a witness saw him run in front of a cab-- 465 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,488 That's bullshit. 466 00:21:57,592 --> 00:21:58,834 Please. Let him finish. 467 00:21:58,938 --> 00:22:00,974 Ezzie would never just run in front of a cab. 468 00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:03,322 - Just listen to the doctor. - [doctor] I know this is traumatic, 469 00:22:03,425 --> 00:22:05,462 but I'm doing what the law says I must do. 470 00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:07,256 Ezra is technically a ward of the state. 471 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,121 - You don't have that right. - Legally, he does actually. 472 00:22:10,225 --> 00:22:11,502 Let's just hear the doctor out. 473 00:22:11,606 --> 00:22:13,435 [doctor] Ezra has a history of fleeing 474 00:22:13,539 --> 00:22:14,988 and putting himself in danger. 475 00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:18,302 Now, I'm not going to put him into a pediatric psych ward. 476 00:22:18,406 --> 00:22:22,617 But I am going to require him to attend a school for special needs. 477 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,620 And I would like to try a prescription for Risperdal. 478 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,830 Risperdal? That's an antipsychotic. 479 00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:31,557 - Your son has been a danger to himself. - He has not! 480 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:34,353 Max! He nearly died! That happened. 481 00:22:34,456 --> 00:22:36,009 Just let him finish. Let him finish. 482 00:22:36,113 --> 00:22:38,702 [doctor] We are going to revisit this in three months. 483 00:22:38,805 --> 00:22:41,946 But right now, Risperdal is the correct medication. 484 00:22:47,745 --> 00:22:49,816 - [Bruce] Max. - No, no. I just-- 485 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,336 - You got a lot of Risperdal here. - [Jenna] Max. 486 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,304 What do the drug companies give you for pushing this on kids? 487 00:22:55,408 --> 00:22:56,685 You get a free fucking badge? 488 00:22:56,789 --> 00:22:58,446 - Hey, Max, come on. Take it easy. - Take it easy. 489 00:22:58,549 --> 00:23:00,448 Now, I see where the dangerous behavior comes from. 490 00:23:00,551 --> 00:23:02,553 - Oh, excuse me? - [Bruce] Max! 491 00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:04,037 You son of a bitch! 492 00:23:04,141 --> 00:23:05,763 - [doctor grunting] - [objects clattering] 493 00:23:05,867 --> 00:23:09,733 [sirens wailing] 494 00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:11,804 - [Max] No. I'm not doing that. - [Bruce] Max. 495 00:23:11,907 --> 00:23:13,461 I got Dr. Wells to drop the assault charge, 496 00:23:13,564 --> 00:23:15,670 - but you gotta go with the program. - Fuck that guy. 497 00:23:15,773 --> 00:23:18,120 - He's a drug dealer. - He's in control is what he is. 498 00:23:18,224 --> 00:23:21,883 Of the special ed school, the medications, all of it. 499 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:27,923 [stammers] And what about the, uh, about the restraining order? 500 00:23:29,615 --> 00:23:32,790 Three months. You can't go near Ezra. 501 00:23:32,894 --> 00:23:36,104 I'm sorry. It's the judge's decision. 502 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:39,314 I can probably get it down to a month if you use the behavior cards. 503 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,868 Fuck those cards. He pisses on those. 504 00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:45,320 You want to go home or you wanna spend another night in here? 505 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,528 It's up to you. 506 00:23:48,944 --> 00:23:51,222 - [birds chirping] - [kids playing] 507 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,502 [sighs] 508 00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:04,443 Must have been humiliating being rescued by your wife's boyfriend. 509 00:24:04,546 --> 00:24:06,272 [Max] Please stop talking. 510 00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,274 She's obsessed with this retard crap. 511 00:24:08,377 --> 00:24:10,379 Hey, what's wrong with you, huh? 512 00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:14,522 Nobody says "retard" anymore, okay? Nobody. Don't say it again. 513 00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:16,109 [Pop-Pop] Okay. I won't say it. 514 00:24:18,664 --> 00:24:20,217 You know, it's a felony having this. 515 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,598 That's a lot of bullshit. 516 00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:24,117 I served my country. I have a right to have this. 517 00:24:24,221 --> 00:24:26,119 Food. You served food. 518 00:24:28,743 --> 00:24:32,263 I had no choice. Now they're telling me I can't see Ezra. 519 00:24:33,161 --> 00:24:36,095 I-- I got no say in what drugs they're gonna give him. 520 00:24:36,198 --> 00:24:38,407 What school they're gonna put him in. What the f-- 521 00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:40,271 [indistinct chatter on radio] 522 00:24:44,206 --> 00:24:45,898 You got anything to say? 523 00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:49,798 - She cut you out good. I know. - She didn't do this. 524 00:24:49,902 --> 00:24:51,593 She didn't have to. I just picked you up from prison. 525 00:24:51,697 --> 00:24:52,836 What are you talking about? 526 00:24:53,008 --> 00:24:54,493 - That's the best you got? - What am I gonna say? 527 00:24:54,596 --> 00:24:56,529 You rush in blind, you get knocked on your ass. 528 00:24:56,633 --> 00:24:57,875 You can't control your own power, 529 00:24:57,979 --> 00:24:59,049 then what the hell do you have? Nothing. 530 00:24:59,152 --> 00:25:00,568 Says the guy who knocked out a customer 531 00:25:00,671 --> 00:25:01,672 because his steak was overcooked? 532 00:25:01,776 --> 00:25:02,880 That was a perfect steak. 533 00:25:02,984 --> 00:25:04,295 Ah, you see now, there it is. 534 00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:06,435 - There's my twisted moral compass. - That's right. Whatever. 535 00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:07,678 Whatever's right. Yeah. 536 00:25:07,885 --> 00:25:09,162 Maybe if that were true, we'd still be in Nebraska, 537 00:25:09,266 --> 00:25:10,750 I'd still have a mother, what do you think? 538 00:25:10,854 --> 00:25:12,476 - [tires screeching] - [cars honking] 539 00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:13,891 What are you doing? What are you doing? 540 00:25:13,995 --> 00:25:15,962 - [Pop-Pop mumbles] - Stop. 541 00:25:16,066 --> 00:25:18,378 - [horns honking] - I'm sorry, all right? 542 00:25:18,482 --> 00:25:19,966 I just-- I didn't mean to bring that up. 543 00:25:20,208 --> 00:25:22,659 Fucking guy says to me, "Hey, stupid, there's no blood on my plate." 544 00:25:22,762 --> 00:25:24,764 I say, "Hey, I'm sorry." And I punch him in the face. 545 00:25:24,868 --> 00:25:26,248 I say, "Now there is blood on your plate." 546 00:25:26,352 --> 00:25:28,250 What are you talking about? I'm talking about my mother. 547 00:25:28,354 --> 00:25:30,252 Now what, now you're gonna start blaming everything 548 00:25:30,356 --> 00:25:32,323 that's wrong with you and your life on me and your mother? 549 00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:34,394 Get the fuck out of here! 550 00:25:34,498 --> 00:25:35,879 You know what? You're a fucking asshole! 551 00:25:35,982 --> 00:25:38,433 Fuck you. Learn how to fucking cook a steak. 552 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,780 - [woman] Move the car! - [cars honking] 553 00:25:42,299 --> 00:25:43,127 [Jenna] Got it? 554 00:25:50,307 --> 00:25:51,204 Good job. 555 00:25:57,107 --> 00:25:58,936 Do you really think you should wear the dinosaur costume 556 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,904 on your first day at a new school? 557 00:26:01,007 --> 00:26:01,939 Hmm. 558 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,218 Hey, it's gonna be great. 559 00:26:05,322 --> 00:26:09,602 There's gonna be all these new kids, and you're gonna find the nicest ones. 560 00:26:13,744 --> 00:26:15,297 Hey, psst, Ezra. 561 00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:17,645 Ezzie. 562 00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:20,855 - Ezzie. - [growls] 563 00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:24,928 [classical piano instrumental building] 564 00:26:32,452 --> 00:26:36,629 [indistinct chatter] 565 00:26:40,806 --> 00:26:45,396 [school bell ringing] 566 00:26:49,642 --> 00:26:51,368 [teacher] Okay, everybody. Inside! 567 00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:55,303 [♪] 568 00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,689 You've got to head in, Ezra. 569 00:27:04,761 --> 00:27:07,626 What class do you have? Art? 570 00:27:11,906 --> 00:27:14,046 [audience laughing] 571 00:27:14,149 --> 00:27:15,806 [Max] You know, I was thinking about it recently. 572 00:27:15,910 --> 00:27:17,981 This fucked-up game we used to play when I was a kid. 573 00:27:18,084 --> 00:27:19,914 - [inaudible dialogue] - You remember Musical Chairs? 574 00:27:20,017 --> 00:27:21,260 - [audience] Yeah! - Yeah? 575 00:27:21,363 --> 00:27:23,987 - [audience member] Whoo! - Whoo! Really? Jesus Christ! 576 00:27:24,090 --> 00:27:27,024 It's like a roomful of pharmaceutical executives. 577 00:27:27,128 --> 00:27:29,613 - [audience laughing] - You know, I was thinking about this game. 578 00:27:29,717 --> 00:27:31,063 But you know what the catch is. 579 00:27:31,166 --> 00:27:34,618 If you got a dozen kids, you only got 11 chairs. 580 00:27:34,722 --> 00:27:37,483 So, who doesn't get a chair, 581 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:41,038 "Fuck you, you're out," right? 582 00:27:41,142 --> 00:27:43,109 Yeah, it's brutal, it's brutal. 583 00:27:43,213 --> 00:27:46,388 I mean, these kids, they turn into savages, man, right? 584 00:27:46,492 --> 00:27:49,875 They bite each other, they kick each other. 585 00:27:49,978 --> 00:27:52,636 They poke each other's eyes out. 586 00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:54,673 What sadist invented this game? 587 00:27:56,088 --> 00:27:58,124 And why do they even call it Musical Chairs? 588 00:27:58,228 --> 00:28:02,301 There's nothing remotely musical about Musical Chairs, man. 589 00:28:02,404 --> 00:28:05,442 It's like, uh-- it's like the original Squid Game or something. 590 00:28:05,545 --> 00:28:08,514 [audience laughing] 591 00:28:08,617 --> 00:28:11,448 You know, I just, uh-- I got out of prison a couple days ago. 592 00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:12,725 - It's a true story. - [man cheers] 593 00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,140 Thank you. Thank you. 594 00:28:14,244 --> 00:28:17,316 You know, I, um, put in some hard time. 595 00:28:17,419 --> 00:28:20,629 - Toughest 14 hours of my life. - [audience laughing] 596 00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,321 But, um... 597 00:28:25,082 --> 00:28:27,775 yeah, this doctor, doctor. 598 00:28:27,878 --> 00:28:29,086 Fucking doctor. 599 00:28:29,190 --> 00:28:30,881 Tried to push some drugs on my kid, so, 600 00:28:30,985 --> 00:28:32,434 you know, I had to knock him out, 601 00:28:32,538 --> 00:28:34,126 and, uh, they threw me in jail. 602 00:28:36,818 --> 00:28:38,924 Uh, but they offered me a deal. 603 00:28:41,512 --> 00:28:43,169 If I let them give my son 604 00:28:43,273 --> 00:28:46,966 the same drugs they give to the criminally insane, 605 00:28:47,070 --> 00:28:49,348 they'd drop all the charges. 606 00:28:51,557 --> 00:28:53,421 So I, uh... 607 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:57,183 took the deal. 608 00:28:59,979 --> 00:29:02,188 My son needed me to go to bat for him... 609 00:29:09,402 --> 00:29:11,750 and I sold him right the fuck out. 610 00:29:15,995 --> 00:29:20,689 [sentimental piano instrumental playing] 611 00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:23,347 [Jayne on phone] Where are you? What are you doing? You have a spot. 612 00:29:23,451 --> 00:29:25,453 - You need to get back here. - [Max] I'm not coming back. 613 00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:30,596 Listen, Max, I really, really want you to fly. 614 00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:32,425 Really high. I really do. 615 00:29:32,529 --> 00:29:35,497 But you have got to stop bombing the runway. 616 00:29:35,601 --> 00:29:37,706 You know the bit I did about the meds and Ez, 617 00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:39,294 it's all true, right? 618 00:29:39,398 --> 00:29:41,987 Okay, fine. Then come back and tell them. 619 00:29:42,090 --> 00:29:44,196 But you gotta come back here. 620 00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:46,888 And they'll understand. Listen, Kimmel loves kids. 621 00:29:48,338 --> 00:29:49,166 So do I. 622 00:29:49,270 --> 00:29:53,239 [♪] 623 00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:04,319 [bed crackling] 624 00:30:04,423 --> 00:30:07,426 Shhh. 625 00:30:08,116 --> 00:30:11,464 Hey, remember when we did that drill down the fire escape? 626 00:30:15,399 --> 00:30:16,469 You wanna do it again? 627 00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:20,888 Okay. 628 00:30:20,991 --> 00:30:22,475 You gotta trust me, buddy. 629 00:30:24,201 --> 00:30:26,272 Oh, yeah, I got a nice bed for you back here, Ez, huh? 630 00:30:26,376 --> 00:30:28,447 You got your Star Wars pillow. I got snacks. 631 00:30:28,550 --> 00:30:29,828 This is gonna be fun! 632 00:30:30,587 --> 00:30:33,486 Hey. What are you doing? What are you doing? 633 00:30:33,590 --> 00:30:35,247 Don't worry about it. Go back in the house. 634 00:30:35,350 --> 00:30:37,111 - What do you mean? - [Max] Don't worry about it. 635 00:30:37,214 --> 00:30:38,560 You're not taking the car. 636 00:30:38,975 --> 00:30:40,700 - Just having a little father-son time. - You're not taking the car. 637 00:30:40,804 --> 00:30:42,944 - It's a Thrilla in Manila! - [Max] We're not fighting, Ezra. 638 00:30:43,048 --> 00:30:44,256 We're not fighting, just talking. 639 00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:46,258 [Ezra] Frazier whipping the mighty Ali! 640 00:30:46,361 --> 00:30:48,674 There's a court order out for you. Are you crazy? What are you doing? 641 00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:51,263 Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! 642 00:30:51,366 --> 00:30:52,540 [Max] I gotta get him to bed. 643 00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,301 Get in the car, Ezra. Hey, listen to me, okay? 644 00:30:55,405 --> 00:30:57,786 I saw him at that school, I saw him on those drugs. 645 00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:59,788 They were killing him. I need to get him away from here. 646 00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:01,998 You're doing it wrong. What the hell is the matter with you? 647 00:31:02,101 --> 00:31:03,654 Pop, I swear to God, stop, okay? Just stop. 648 00:31:03,758 --> 00:31:05,760 You told me to fight, I'm fighting. Let's get in the car, Ez. 649 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,900 You're not fighting, you're running! What are you doing? 650 00:31:08,004 --> 00:31:09,522 I'm not running. Ezra, get in the car! 651 00:31:09,626 --> 00:31:10,938 Okay. It's okay. 652 00:31:11,041 --> 00:31:12,284 - I got some waffles for you. - No. 653 00:31:12,387 --> 00:31:14,389 There's no waffles. Ez, get in the car. 654 00:31:14,493 --> 00:31:16,944 - [Pop-Pop] You want fresh whipped cream? - Stop it, please. 655 00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:19,463 Listen, we're family. We're the Rice Krispie boys. 656 00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:21,569 He's Snap, you're Crackle, and who am I? 657 00:31:21,672 --> 00:31:22,950 - [Ezra] Pop-Pop! - That's right! 658 00:31:23,053 --> 00:31:24,813 And we're not fighting, we're just sparring. 659 00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:25,987 So show me what you got. 660 00:31:26,091 --> 00:31:27,782 That's it! And, and-- 661 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,750 - Oh! - [Max] All right! Knock out! 662 00:31:30,854 --> 00:31:32,028 [Max] Good job. Come on, buddy. 663 00:31:32,131 --> 00:31:33,615 In the car. Come on. Let's go. 664 00:31:33,719 --> 00:31:36,515 - [Pop-Pop] This is a mistake. - Let's go. Okay. Says who? 665 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,345 - [Ezra] Can Pop-Pop come? - [Max] No, Pop-Pop can't come. 666 00:31:39,449 --> 00:31:41,278 Pop-Pop's gonna hold the fort down. Right, Pop-Pop? 667 00:31:41,382 --> 00:31:43,522 - Where are you taking him? - I'm going to Nick's in Michigan. 668 00:31:43,625 --> 00:31:45,938 Oh, Jesus. That Greek prick. Of all the fucking people-- 669 00:31:46,042 --> 00:31:47,629 [Max] Stop it. He's my best friend. 670 00:31:47,733 --> 00:31:48,872 That guy's a fucking thief! 671 00:31:48,976 --> 00:31:50,736 I take him into my house, he steals from me. 672 00:31:50,839 --> 00:31:52,462 He didn't steal your saucepan. 673 00:31:52,565 --> 00:31:54,878 I'm not stealing your clothes. Nobody's stealing anything, okay? 674 00:31:54,982 --> 00:31:57,294 You're making a mistake. You can't do this. 675 00:31:57,398 --> 00:31:59,641 You know what? Take this, please. Already have enough problems. 676 00:31:59,745 --> 00:32:01,195 - Thank you! - This is crazy! 677 00:32:01,298 --> 00:32:02,851 - Say, "Bye, Pop-Pop!" - [Ezra] Bye, Pop-Pop! 678 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:04,094 Bye, Pop-Pop! 679 00:32:04,198 --> 00:32:08,374 ["Sisyphus" playing] 680 00:32:22,664 --> 00:32:24,149 What the fuck am I doing? 681 00:32:28,498 --> 00:32:30,776 ♪ Sisyphus peered Into the mist ♪ 682 00:32:30,879 --> 00:32:34,469 ♪ A stone's throw From the precipice, paused ♪ 683 00:32:36,023 --> 00:32:37,438 ♪ Did he jump or did he fall 684 00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:40,268 ♪ As he gazed into the maw Of the morning mist? ♪ 685 00:32:40,372 --> 00:32:42,891 ♪ Did he raise both fists And say "To hell with this" ♪ 686 00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:45,687 ♪ And just let the rock roll? 687 00:32:48,104 --> 00:32:49,898 ♪ Let it roll 688 00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:53,212 ♪ Let it crash down low 689 00:32:53,316 --> 00:32:57,320 ♪ There's a house down there But I lost it long ago ♪ 690 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:02,290 Ezzie? Ezzie? 691 00:33:02,394 --> 00:33:03,567 Ezzie? 692 00:33:03,671 --> 00:33:05,155 Ezra? 693 00:33:05,259 --> 00:33:09,435 ♪ See my house down there But I lost it long ago ♪ 694 00:33:09,539 --> 00:33:10,436 Ezzie? 695 00:33:11,437 --> 00:33:13,750 Ezra? Ezra! 696 00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,592 - [Max] Did you get a good night's sleep? - No. 697 00:33:31,492 --> 00:33:33,045 I bet it's Mom. 698 00:33:33,149 --> 00:33:34,633 I bet you're right. Ugh. 699 00:33:34,736 --> 00:33:37,360 Parental abduction is defined as one parent taking a child 700 00:33:37,463 --> 00:33:39,638 without permission from the other parent. 701 00:33:40,363 --> 00:33:43,124 - Yeah. - [Jenna] You kidnapped Ezra? 702 00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:45,299 I can't be kidnapping if I'm his father. 703 00:33:45,402 --> 00:33:47,059 Of course it can! You have a restraining order! 704 00:33:47,163 --> 00:33:48,336 I'm saving my son's life. 705 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,269 Ezzie needs somebody to advocate for him 706 00:33:50,373 --> 00:33:52,237 the way you and I used to dotogether. 707 00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:53,652 You know I'm right. 708 00:33:53,755 --> 00:33:56,758 No! No, you're not right, Max. You are wrong, okay? 709 00:33:56,862 --> 00:33:59,071 You need to bring him home now! 710 00:33:59,175 --> 00:34:01,073 [Ezra screaming] 711 00:34:01,177 --> 00:34:02,971 - Is that Ezra? - [Max] Hey, hey, hey, hey! 712 00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,387 - [waitress] Let go! - No bananas! 713 00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,423 - No bananas! - [Max] No bananas! 714 00:34:06,527 --> 00:34:08,011 - Get his inhaler! - Excuse me! 715 00:34:08,115 --> 00:34:09,461 Okay, Ezzie. It's all right, breathe. 716 00:34:09,564 --> 00:34:12,395 Breathe! Breathe. Breathe. Breathe, all right. 717 00:34:12,498 --> 00:34:14,742 I got you. It's okay. Come on. Come on, come on. 718 00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:16,468 Where's the bathroom? Where's the bathroom? 719 00:34:16,571 --> 00:34:19,091 - Come on. You're okay. - [Ezra groaning] 720 00:34:20,610 --> 00:34:22,301 [phone chiming] 721 00:34:22,405 --> 00:34:23,509 [Max] He's all right. 722 00:34:23,613 --> 00:34:25,339 Look, I didn't know that there were 723 00:34:25,442 --> 00:34:27,824 bananas in the oatmeal, right? 724 00:34:27,927 --> 00:34:30,482 - What you're doing is insane! - Nah, I don't think it is. 725 00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:32,622 That's the problem. You're not thinking. 726 00:34:32,725 --> 00:34:34,486 Trust me, this is very, 727 00:34:34,589 --> 00:34:35,728 very, very bad. 728 00:34:35,832 --> 00:34:37,005 In fact, this is a crime. 729 00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:38,800 Bring him back! 730 00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:42,149 [scoffs] Max? 731 00:34:42,563 --> 00:34:44,875 Holy shit! He hung up on me again! 732 00:34:44,979 --> 00:34:46,360 - [yells] - [phone thuds] 733 00:34:46,463 --> 00:34:47,464 Fuck! 734 00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:50,812 You know, you can call the police. 735 00:34:53,677 --> 00:34:55,852 No, I'm not-- I'm not gonna make this worse. 736 00:34:55,955 --> 00:34:58,165 I'm not traumatizing my son. 737 00:35:07,933 --> 00:35:09,866 [phone chiming, vibrating] 738 00:35:15,561 --> 00:35:17,529 [vibrating continues faintly] 739 00:35:17,632 --> 00:35:20,428 Hey, buddy, what's the deal with the bananas? 740 00:35:22,948 --> 00:35:26,227 - Hmm? - I start gagging, and I can't breathe. 741 00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:29,265 Well, okay, but we know that you're not allergic to bananas, right? 742 00:35:29,368 --> 00:35:31,474 Because we saw that doctor, remember? 743 00:35:31,577 --> 00:35:34,822 So, maybe the banana thing's in your mind, you know? 744 00:35:36,410 --> 00:35:38,446 [Ezra growling and mooing] 745 00:35:40,655 --> 00:35:44,521 I'm growling and I'm mooing, what am I? 746 00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:48,076 I got no idea, but you're freakin' me out there with no shirt on. 747 00:35:48,180 --> 00:35:50,113 Mad cow disease! 748 00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:52,943 Oh, is that original material? 749 00:35:53,047 --> 00:35:54,428 - SpongeBob. - Ah, I see. 750 00:35:54,531 --> 00:35:55,981 That's why it wasn't funny. 751 00:35:56,084 --> 00:35:59,260 [bittersweet piano music playing] 752 00:36:09,339 --> 00:36:10,858 Are you going to prison? 753 00:36:13,826 --> 00:36:17,105 Look, Ez, Dad made a big decision when I was upset, 754 00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:18,728 and that's never a good idea. 755 00:36:18,831 --> 00:36:20,247 "Bang, bang, bitches. 756 00:36:20,350 --> 00:36:23,008 I'll cut off his head and feed him to the fishes!" 757 00:36:23,111 --> 00:36:26,114 Okay. Maybe no more Breaking Bad. 758 00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:28,324 Mom might be right about that one. 759 00:36:28,427 --> 00:36:30,947 Bruce wants to kill you. You can't go home. 760 00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:34,778 - Okay, he's definitely not a fan-- - No! That's what he said! 761 00:36:34,882 --> 00:36:35,779 What? 762 00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,231 - When? - When I got hit by the cab. 763 00:36:39,335 --> 00:36:42,338 I was coming to Pop-Pop's to warn you about Bruce. 764 00:36:43,373 --> 00:36:44,823 Okay, hold that thought, buddy. 765 00:36:48,136 --> 00:36:49,621 [car engine stops] 766 00:36:51,347 --> 00:36:53,211 Are you telling me 767 00:36:53,314 --> 00:36:55,592 that you didn't run into the street on purpose? 768 00:36:56,731 --> 00:36:58,423 Ezzie? 769 00:36:58,526 --> 00:37:00,183 Ezzie, I need your eyes, okay? 770 00:37:00,287 --> 00:37:02,012 This is very important. 771 00:37:03,013 --> 00:37:06,293 Are you saying that you didn't run into the street on purpose? 772 00:37:06,396 --> 00:37:08,743 Am I nuts? A dog tried to bite me. 773 00:37:11,090 --> 00:37:12,299 Did you tell Mom this? 774 00:37:15,578 --> 00:37:17,856 - Don't be mad. - Nobody's mad. 775 00:37:17,959 --> 00:37:19,444 - There was-- - I wasn't supposed to tell you? 776 00:37:19,547 --> 00:37:21,066 Yes, of course. Hey. 777 00:37:21,169 --> 00:37:23,724 Telling the truth, that's your biggest superpower. 778 00:37:23,827 --> 00:37:24,966 Huh? 779 00:37:25,312 --> 00:37:26,554 Thanks for telling me. 780 00:37:27,935 --> 00:37:28,936 You know what? 781 00:37:29,730 --> 00:37:30,800 You know what? 782 00:37:30,903 --> 00:37:32,180 I think we gotta dance. 783 00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:33,734 I think we gotta dance. 784 00:37:34,148 --> 00:37:36,599 - Come on. Let's find a good station. - ["Express Yourself" playing] 785 00:37:36,702 --> 00:37:38,980 Ah! There it is. Ah. Can you move your butt muscles? 786 00:37:39,084 --> 00:37:41,569 Come on. Let's go. Move it up. Into your chest. 787 00:37:41,673 --> 00:37:44,538 Into your shoulders. Ah, yeah! Let it roll. 788 00:37:44,641 --> 00:37:47,334 Let it roll. Down to the ass. Back up to the shoulders. 789 00:37:47,437 --> 00:37:50,958 Now some pops. Some claps. Huh? Elbows up. 790 00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,546 Ah, yeah, let it roll. 791 00:37:52,649 --> 00:37:54,375 Let it roll. Come on. Up into your chest, dude. 792 00:37:54,479 --> 00:37:55,825 Into your chest, Ezzie. 793 00:37:55,928 --> 00:37:58,517 Yeah, yeah, that's it. Let it roll. Let it roll. 794 00:37:58,621 --> 00:38:00,347 ♪ Express yourself 795 00:38:01,831 --> 00:38:02,797 [song fades] 796 00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:08,251 [Ezra] I need to rinse! 797 00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:10,391 - [phone chiming] - [Max] Coming. 798 00:38:14,430 --> 00:38:15,431 Hey, Jayne. 799 00:38:15,534 --> 00:38:17,571 - Where the hell are you? - Uh, 800 00:38:17,674 --> 00:38:19,193 I'm just taking a little time off with Ez. 801 00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,160 Not a good time to take off, Max. 802 00:38:21,851 --> 00:38:24,302 Yeah. I-- I know. I know. I-- I screwed up. 803 00:38:24,405 --> 00:38:26,027 Yes, you did, and they were pissed! 804 00:38:26,131 --> 00:38:28,616 Yeah, look, I had a bad night. It happens, right? 805 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,861 No.[scoffs] Sal Argento had a bad night. 806 00:38:31,964 --> 00:38:34,450 Yeah. I guess that's something, right? 807 00:38:34,553 --> 00:38:36,624 No, what's something is having a manager 808 00:38:36,728 --> 00:38:39,178 who gets Jimmy Kimmel to watch the video. 809 00:38:39,282 --> 00:38:40,870 Video? 810 00:38:40,973 --> 00:38:42,389 What-- what video? 811 00:38:42,492 --> 00:38:44,391 The one I made with my phone! 812 00:38:44,494 --> 00:38:46,427 [chuckles] He wants to book you. 813 00:38:46,531 --> 00:38:48,602 - What? - [Ezra] I need to rinse! 814 00:38:48,705 --> 00:38:50,811 So you have to get yourself to LA. 815 00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:53,261 They're not gonna fly you. Is that gonna be a problem? 816 00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:54,884 Uh, no. 817 00:38:55,194 --> 00:38:57,438 - Uh, when? - Next Friday, 818 00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:59,337 4:00 pm in the Kimmel studio. 819 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,269 Rinse! 820 00:39:01,373 --> 00:39:03,444 Okay. All right. I'm coming. Uh... 821 00:39:04,065 --> 00:39:06,205 - He loved you, Max. - He loved me, really? 822 00:39:06,309 --> 00:39:07,552 I love you, Jayne. 823 00:39:07,655 --> 00:39:09,726 - You're full of shit. Bye. - [Max chuckles] 824 00:39:09,830 --> 00:39:10,727 Rinse! 825 00:39:10,831 --> 00:39:13,454 Okay. I'm coming. I'm coming. Hey, ow! 826 00:39:13,558 --> 00:39:15,870 Shit! That's boiling hot! Come on, get out! 827 00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:18,010 Get out! Get out! Get out! Come on. 828 00:39:18,114 --> 00:39:20,116 What-- what are you doing? Why-- don't you feel it? It's hot! 829 00:39:20,219 --> 00:39:22,877 - I don't-- I don't feel hot! - Okay, it's hot, though. 830 00:39:22,981 --> 00:39:24,638 Okay? Look at your arms. They're all red! 831 00:39:24,741 --> 00:39:26,778 Mom checks the temperature! 832 00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:30,091 That's fine, but if you see steam, it means it's too hot, okay? 833 00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:31,748 - God damn it! - My stupid brain. 834 00:39:31,852 --> 00:39:33,923 - Stop, no. Hey, come on. Sit down. - Stupid! Stupid! 835 00:39:34,026 --> 00:39:35,856 - Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! - Stop that, okay? 836 00:39:35,959 --> 00:39:38,134 You're not stupid! You're not-- stop hitting yourself. 837 00:39:38,237 --> 00:39:40,619 Hey, hey, hey, listen to me. Hey, hey. You're not stupid. 838 00:39:40,723 --> 00:39:42,172 You're not stupid. You're smart, okay? 839 00:39:42,276 --> 00:39:45,866 If you see steam, it means it's too hot. Easy-peasy, okay? 840 00:39:47,626 --> 00:39:50,180 It's on the cards. 841 00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:51,975 We don't have the fucking cards! 842 00:39:53,494 --> 00:39:54,909 I'm sorry. 843 00:39:55,565 --> 00:39:57,774 - Mom uses Bactine. - Oh, yeah? Well, guess what. 844 00:39:57,878 --> 00:39:59,742 We don't have Bactine, so you and I, 845 00:39:59,845 --> 00:40:01,951 we're gonna have to figure it out together, all right? 846 00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:04,505 There we go. Nice. 847 00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:05,713 You know what? I got a better idea. 848 00:40:05,817 --> 00:40:07,784 I got a better idea. Let go. Here. 849 00:40:08,095 --> 00:40:11,581 Ready? Come on. Stand up. Stand up. Arms up. 850 00:40:12,168 --> 00:40:14,688 Huh? Armpits. Isn't this fun? 851 00:40:14,791 --> 00:40:17,484 Huh? Does Mom do stuff like this? No? 852 00:40:17,587 --> 00:40:19,278 I didn't think so. Okay. 853 00:40:19,382 --> 00:40:20,832 We got this! 854 00:40:21,626 --> 00:40:23,213 Why do you always yell? 855 00:40:24,836 --> 00:40:27,321 Because Pop-Pop used to lock me in the attic 856 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:28,529 chained to a radiator. 857 00:40:28,633 --> 00:40:30,876 I had to yell so he'd remember to feed me. 858 00:40:30,980 --> 00:40:33,258 There are no radiators in attics. 859 00:40:33,707 --> 00:40:35,847 You are good. Nothing gets past you. 860 00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:38,953 Boom. There you go. 861 00:40:39,057 --> 00:40:40,921 I want to talk to you about something. 862 00:40:41,024 --> 00:40:43,717 I just got off the phone with Aunt Jayne. 863 00:40:44,614 --> 00:40:48,376 Turns out Jimmy Kimmel wants me to be on his show in Los Angeles. 864 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:49,654 That's far. 865 00:40:50,309 --> 00:40:52,001 Yeah, it is far. 866 00:40:52,657 --> 00:40:56,868 Did you get the part about Jimmy Kimmel wanting me to be a guest on his show? 867 00:40:56,971 --> 00:40:58,179 Yeah? 868 00:40:58,283 --> 00:41:00,250 So, you got anything for me? 869 00:41:00,354 --> 00:41:01,735 Any advice for your dad? 870 00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:04,945 Be polite. 871 00:41:05,048 --> 00:41:06,118 "Be polite." 872 00:41:07,430 --> 00:41:08,638 Anything else? 873 00:41:09,743 --> 00:41:12,504 - Nope. Now stop asking me. - [chuckles] Okay. 874 00:41:13,954 --> 00:41:15,334 But where am I gonna get my mojo from? 875 00:41:15,438 --> 00:41:18,510 - Mojo man! - That's right. 876 00:41:18,614 --> 00:41:20,443 Good. Okay. 877 00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:22,376 Let's have a staring contest. 878 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,136 - I don't want to. - Come on. 879 00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:25,759 - For me? Please. - No. 880 00:41:26,553 --> 00:41:28,002 - Pretty please? - No. 881 00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,142 What if I make it worth your while? 882 00:41:32,455 --> 00:41:35,907 If I win, we go trick-or-treat? 883 00:41:37,115 --> 00:41:38,565 Yeah, deal. 884 00:41:39,013 --> 00:41:41,878 Ready? Come on. First one that blinks loses. 885 00:41:41,982 --> 00:41:44,122 Go, one, two, 886 00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:45,813 three, four... 887 00:41:45,917 --> 00:41:48,402 - Are you autistic? - ...five, six... 888 00:41:48,954 --> 00:41:50,542 - seven... - Mom says you are. 889 00:41:50,646 --> 00:41:53,338 ...eight-- Mom thinks everyone's autistic-- 890 00:41:53,441 --> 00:41:55,685 - nine, ten... - She thinks you got it from Pop-Pop, 891 00:41:55,789 --> 00:41:57,273 who gave it to you, who gave it to me. 892 00:41:57,376 --> 00:41:59,862 Listen to me. Nobody knows for sure, okay, honey? 893 00:41:59,965 --> 00:42:01,104 Nobody. 894 00:42:01,277 --> 00:42:03,141 [whispers] But it doesn't matter 'cause you're awesome. 895 00:42:03,244 --> 00:42:04,625 Fourteen, 15, 16... 896 00:42:04,729 --> 00:42:06,834 - Does Mom love me? - ...seventeen. 897 00:42:08,077 --> 00:42:10,976 Buddy, Mom loves you more than anything in the world. 898 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,253 Yeah. Okay? 899 00:42:12,391 --> 00:42:14,117 She and I, we're just having a disagreement right now. 900 00:42:14,221 --> 00:42:18,190 - You blinked! I win! - Uh! Oh, you did so good. 901 00:42:18,294 --> 00:42:20,468 You did so good. You win. 902 00:42:20,572 --> 00:42:22,540 - Good job, buddy. - [humming] 903 00:42:22,643 --> 00:42:26,095 Let's go. Bring it. Yeah, baby! Whoo! 904 00:42:26,198 --> 00:42:27,683 - [banging on door] - [doorbell ringing] 905 00:42:27,786 --> 00:42:29,236 [Jenna] Stan, can you open up, please! 906 00:42:29,339 --> 00:42:30,409 [banging and ringing continues] 907 00:42:30,513 --> 00:42:31,514 Stan! 908 00:42:31,618 --> 00:42:32,860 [banging and ringing continues] 909 00:42:32,964 --> 00:42:35,794 - We need to talk! - [doorknob rattling] 910 00:42:35,898 --> 00:42:37,451 - Stan? - [knocking on door] 911 00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,073 Hey, I know you're in there! 912 00:42:39,177 --> 00:42:40,903 Open the door! 913 00:42:41,662 --> 00:42:42,836 Open the door! 914 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,669 Stan, just talk to me, please? 915 00:42:49,221 --> 00:42:51,361 - [banging on door] - I'm worried about them. 916 00:42:54,192 --> 00:42:55,193 Please? 917 00:43:05,168 --> 00:43:06,238 You don't give a shit! 918 00:43:06,894 --> 00:43:07,861 Huh? 919 00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:10,173 You're going to let Max ruin his life again! 920 00:43:10,277 --> 00:43:12,762 - [objects rattling] - And your boys too! 921 00:43:13,729 --> 00:43:15,593 - Jerk! - [loud thud] 922 00:43:16,628 --> 00:43:18,837 [engine starts] 923 00:43:18,941 --> 00:43:21,978 ["Golden" by My Morning Jacket playing] 924 00:43:32,851 --> 00:43:35,820 ♪ Watching a stretch of road 925 00:43:37,131 --> 00:43:40,341 ♪ Miles of light explode 926 00:43:41,653 --> 00:43:44,587 ♪ Drifting off a thing 927 00:43:45,139 --> 00:43:48,073 ♪ I'd never done before ♪ 928 00:43:49,972 --> 00:43:53,147 ♪ Watching a crowd roll in 929 00:43:54,459 --> 00:43:57,738 ♪ Out go the lights it begins 930 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:02,053 [Nick] Hey! There they are! 931 00:44:02,605 --> 00:44:03,675 - [Max] Hey! - [Nick] Hey! 932 00:44:03,779 --> 00:44:05,746 [Max] Hello, baby! 933 00:44:05,850 --> 00:44:09,543 Ezzie, get on out here and give your Uncle Nicky a hug! 934 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,995 Oh, come on, come here! Hey, where you going, kid? Oh, I got you. 935 00:44:13,098 --> 00:44:16,067 Oh, that's it. That's it! You are dead. You're so dead! Oh! 936 00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:20,002 Hi! I'm Margaret. 937 00:44:20,105 --> 00:44:21,313 How are you? 938 00:44:22,590 --> 00:44:24,385 Wanna help me set the table? 939 00:44:25,973 --> 00:44:27,354 Come on. 940 00:44:27,941 --> 00:44:31,496 - [Nick] Oh, you're... - [Max] Oh! Look at you! 941 00:44:31,599 --> 00:44:34,568 No chance! Jesus Christ, man. Huh? 942 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:37,536 Bottomless s'mores when you run a camp. 943 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,642 - Endless s'mores. - Can you get that? 944 00:44:39,746 --> 00:44:40,988 - I'm not gonna carry anything. - Okay. 945 00:44:41,092 --> 00:44:42,749 What's up with the, uh-- the bad habit there? 946 00:44:42,852 --> 00:44:44,820 That's Sister Margaret from Senegal. 947 00:44:44,923 --> 00:44:46,753 Oh. That's way outta town. 948 00:44:46,856 --> 00:44:49,341 Yeah, she's, uh, staying with a family in Ann Arbor. 949 00:44:49,445 --> 00:44:50,722 She goes to Michigan. 950 00:44:50,964 --> 00:44:53,207 You know that they want nuns to have a bachelor's degree? 951 00:44:53,311 --> 00:44:56,383 - Why the fuck would I know that? - I mean, can you imagine that? 952 00:44:56,486 --> 00:44:59,075 Four years of college before you can say your vows. 953 00:44:59,179 --> 00:45:00,870 But as long as she's on my staff, 954 00:45:00,974 --> 00:45:02,872 Catholic church pays half my expenses. 955 00:45:02,976 --> 00:45:05,254 Huh. Scammin' the Vatican. I'm proud of you. 956 00:45:05,357 --> 00:45:07,290 - Yeah, huh. - [Ezra] There's no cheese on it. 957 00:45:07,394 --> 00:45:09,637 [Nick] Wait 'til you try it. It's incredible. 958 00:45:09,741 --> 00:45:11,570 She uses ancient Senegalese spices. 959 00:45:11,674 --> 00:45:12,779 [Margaret] I got the spice from Costco. 960 00:45:12,882 --> 00:45:14,781 - Whoa! - Costco. 961 00:45:14,884 --> 00:45:17,404 That sounds exotic! Costco. 962 00:45:17,507 --> 00:45:19,406 [Nick] I thought you brought it from Senegal. 963 00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,546 [Margaret] No. You're mixing up the cheeses. 964 00:45:21,649 --> 00:45:24,066 And she puts goat-- she puts goat in the lasagna. 965 00:45:24,169 --> 00:45:27,276 - [Margaret] What's wrong? - Metal hurts my teeth. 966 00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,625 Okay, but you know, plastic hurts the planet. So... 967 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,972 [Nick] Oh, I got some plastic right in the store room, I can just-- 968 00:45:34,076 --> 00:45:35,767 No, no. We're okay. We're gonna use the fork. 969 00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:36,906 [Margaret] It's okay-- 970 00:45:37,010 --> 00:45:37,976 It's mind over matter like the bananas. 971 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:39,806 Come on, Ezzie, try it. 972 00:45:40,807 --> 00:45:41,980 Ezzie. 973 00:45:42,084 --> 00:45:43,844 E-- Ez, come on. That's not polite. 974 00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:45,950 Pick up the fork and try it please. 975 00:45:46,053 --> 00:45:48,193 - Ez? - I-- I need plastic. 976 00:45:48,297 --> 00:45:50,920 - Mom has plastic! - Okay. Well, Mom's not here. 977 00:45:51,024 --> 00:45:53,129 Ezra. Where you going? 978 00:45:53,647 --> 00:45:56,201 - Ezra? - [Ezra] I need plastic! 979 00:45:56,305 --> 00:45:58,790 - You don't listen to me! - [Max] Sorry, guys. 980 00:45:58,894 --> 00:46:00,654 Ez, come on. Come on back, please. 981 00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,104 It hurts me! 982 00:46:02,207 --> 00:46:04,037 - Because they're razor sharp! - [Max] Ezzie! Ezzie! 983 00:46:04,140 --> 00:46:05,832 - It's not in my mind! - Ezzie! 984 00:46:05,935 --> 00:46:08,248 - Ezra, come and sit down! - I'm not taking it! 985 00:46:08,351 --> 00:46:09,732 I'll make you a deal. I'll let you eat with your fingers 986 00:46:09,836 --> 00:46:11,665 if you try a fork once. 987 00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:14,564 - It hurts! It hurts! - Once, Ezra. 988 00:46:15,842 --> 00:46:17,050 I would take that deal. 989 00:46:17,153 --> 00:46:19,604 - I need plastic! - [Nick] Sounds like a good deal. 990 00:46:19,707 --> 00:46:21,779 Plus, I'm gonna use my fingers, too. 991 00:46:21,882 --> 00:46:23,090 So will I. 992 00:46:25,368 --> 00:46:26,784 [Max] Once, Ezzie? 993 00:46:28,647 --> 00:46:29,959 Deal? 994 00:46:31,754 --> 00:46:35,275 Okay! Let's do it! Let's get to work! 995 00:46:35,378 --> 00:46:36,724 All right! 996 00:46:37,139 --> 00:46:39,486 Come on, Max. Join the party. 997 00:46:40,004 --> 00:46:42,661 Join the lasagna party. Now-- oh, God. 998 00:46:42,765 --> 00:46:44,387 - Oh, man. Of course. - [Margaret] Oh, my! 999 00:46:44,491 --> 00:46:47,321 "They each shouldered the heavy pack and the water skin 1000 00:46:47,425 --> 00:46:48,702 which was their share, 1001 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:52,464 then turned from the light that lay on the lands outside 1002 00:46:52,568 --> 00:46:54,708 and plunged into the forest." 1003 00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:57,297 [crickets chirping outside] 1004 00:47:05,098 --> 00:47:07,445 [mellow piano music playing] 1005 00:47:39,787 --> 00:47:41,410 You can go now. 1006 00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:47,934 Ezzie, did you just-- 1007 00:47:51,834 --> 00:47:52,973 For me? 1008 00:47:54,078 --> 00:47:55,596 You can go now. 1009 00:47:56,321 --> 00:47:57,253 Okay? 1010 00:47:58,772 --> 00:48:00,256 Goodbye. 1011 00:48:03,397 --> 00:48:04,467 Okay. 1012 00:48:21,795 --> 00:48:25,661 [Margaret] Max, oh, my goodness, I have a crush on your son. 1013 00:48:25,764 --> 00:48:27,007 Ah, he'll break your heart. 1014 00:48:27,111 --> 00:48:28,698 Don't worry. I can take it. 1015 00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,217 All right, but you know what? 1016 00:48:30,321 --> 00:48:32,875 If there's no future, Sister, let's not lead him on. 1017 00:48:32,979 --> 00:48:35,119 Hey, hey. I haven't taken my vows yet. 1018 00:48:35,222 --> 00:48:37,707 - [Max] Oh! - [Nick] Uh-oh. [chuckles] Okay. 1019 00:48:37,811 --> 00:48:39,606 [Nick groans, sniffs] 1020 00:48:45,060 --> 00:48:46,371 [Margaret] Good night. 1021 00:48:46,475 --> 00:48:48,097 - [Nick] Good night. - [Margaret] Smoking, huh? 1022 00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:50,513 The wages of sin is death. 1023 00:48:51,031 --> 00:48:52,791 [Max] Did she just bless you? 1024 00:48:53,068 --> 00:48:54,828 She does it every time she leaves. 1025 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,726 I think it's making me a better man. 1026 00:48:59,143 --> 00:49:03,216 Look, I-- I don't want to be sacrilegious, but I think this could be love. 1027 00:49:03,906 --> 00:49:04,838 [Nick] Hey. 1028 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,012 I'm Greek Orthodox, 1029 00:49:06,115 --> 00:49:07,358 and we don't go there. 1030 00:49:07,461 --> 00:49:09,049 Okay? [exhales] 1031 00:49:09,153 --> 00:49:11,431 And she, oh-- she's a holy spirit. 1032 00:49:11,534 --> 00:49:13,916 - All right. Here you go. - I'm just saying, man. 1033 00:49:14,020 --> 00:49:16,470 House in the woods, summer camp, hot nun. 1034 00:49:16,574 --> 00:49:17,989 [Nick laughs] 1035 00:49:18,093 --> 00:49:21,061 Yeah, it sure beats telling dick jokes to drunken tourists. 1036 00:49:21,165 --> 00:49:22,545 Hey, it's a living. 1037 00:49:24,030 --> 00:49:25,548 It wasn't for me. [sighs] 1038 00:49:27,999 --> 00:49:29,242 So why are you here? 1039 00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:30,968 What do you mean? I needed a little Nicky. 1040 00:49:31,071 --> 00:49:32,107 [chuckles] 1041 00:49:32,210 --> 00:49:33,798 You got a little bit of Nicky, 1042 00:49:33,901 --> 00:49:38,320 and, uh, Nicky's a little concerned. 1043 00:49:38,423 --> 00:49:40,770 You haven't signed the papers yet, have you? 1044 00:49:41,185 --> 00:49:43,014 [chuckles] Seriously? 1045 00:49:44,084 --> 00:49:46,121 [sighs] 1046 00:49:46,224 --> 00:49:49,089 - That's it. You blew my high. - Are you gonna cry? 1047 00:49:49,193 --> 00:49:50,988 Do you wanna cry? You wanna let it go? 1048 00:49:51,091 --> 00:49:52,817 Come to Papa Bear. Come on. 1049 00:49:53,473 --> 00:49:55,371 I tried to give her everything, Nick. 1050 00:49:55,475 --> 00:49:56,855 But where would she put it? 1051 00:49:56,959 --> 00:49:58,961 [both laugh] 1052 00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:01,895 - God bless Steven Wright. - Ah. 1053 00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:04,277 "All those who believe in psychokinesis 1054 00:50:04,380 --> 00:50:07,728 - raise my hand." -"Raise my hand." 1055 00:50:07,832 --> 00:50:10,524 I broke into Jenna's house in the middle of the night, 1056 00:50:10,628 --> 00:50:11,939 and I kidnapped Ezra. 1057 00:50:12,043 --> 00:50:13,458 [Nick laughs] 1058 00:50:15,736 --> 00:50:17,117 All right, I'll play along. 1059 00:50:17,221 --> 00:50:19,706 Why did you break into Jenna's house and kidnap Ezra? 1060 00:50:19,809 --> 00:50:22,709 Ezzie snuck out of Jenna's and got hit by a cab. 1061 00:50:22,812 --> 00:50:23,986 What? 1062 00:50:24,297 --> 00:50:26,540 His doctor said he might've done it on purpose. 1063 00:50:26,644 --> 00:50:27,576 Shit! 1064 00:50:27,679 --> 00:50:29,543 You think that was true? 1065 00:50:29,647 --> 00:50:32,305 No! Wha-- you kidding me? 1066 00:50:32,408 --> 00:50:35,239 Every day he wakes up, that kid chooses life. 1067 00:50:35,825 --> 00:50:37,103 Oh, good. 1068 00:50:38,207 --> 00:50:40,278 - That's good. - [sighs] 1069 00:50:40,692 --> 00:50:41,969 So why'd you do it? 1070 00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,938 Jenna thinks he should go to a special needs school, and I don't. 1071 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,113 - Why not? - Because in public school, 1072 00:50:47,216 --> 00:50:49,839 you know, he'll learn how to fight, learn how to protect himself. 1073 00:50:49,943 --> 00:50:51,117 What are you, the great Santini? 1074 00:50:51,220 --> 00:50:52,877 What are you-- what are you talking about? 1075 00:50:52,980 --> 00:50:55,155 I see people move away from Ez, right? 1076 00:50:55,569 --> 00:50:58,193 He has a temper tantrum or he's just walking down the street. 1077 00:50:58,296 --> 00:51:02,093 You know, people aren't trying to be mean, it's just that it's easier. 1078 00:51:02,197 --> 00:51:04,268 You know the word "autism" comes from the Greek 1079 00:51:04,371 --> 00:51:05,648 "in your own world." 1080 00:51:05,752 --> 00:51:08,341 I don't want him in his own world, Nick. I-- 1081 00:51:13,380 --> 00:51:14,795 [voice cracking] I want him in this world. 1082 00:51:14,899 --> 00:51:16,556 [sighs] 1083 00:51:21,940 --> 00:51:23,597 [Nick sighs] 1084 00:51:23,701 --> 00:51:25,082 [phone vibrating] 1085 00:51:26,704 --> 00:51:28,050 You make it back okay? 1086 00:51:28,395 --> 00:51:29,776 [Pop-Pop] Put Max on the phone. 1087 00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,192 Oh, my God. [sighs] 1088 00:51:32,296 --> 00:51:34,021 I don't have your pan. 1089 00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:35,437 [Pop-Pop] Hello. 1090 00:51:38,164 --> 00:51:40,166 - Hello? - Yeah, I'm right here, Pop. 1091 00:51:40,269 --> 00:51:41,822 What do you think, the world stopped for you 1092 00:51:41,926 --> 00:51:44,066 - to hang out with this idiot? - What are you talking about? 1093 00:51:44,170 --> 00:51:46,172 She took my son and I took him back! 1094 00:51:46,275 --> 00:51:48,243 You made a promise, you didn't keep your promise. 1095 00:51:48,346 --> 00:51:50,210 She's throwing rocks at my window now. 1096 00:51:50,314 --> 00:51:51,867 - Hang up the phone. - Hello? 1097 00:51:51,970 --> 00:51:53,420 I'm coming there tomorrow! 1098 00:51:53,524 --> 00:51:54,973 - [both] No! - Then listen to me carefully. 1099 00:51:55,077 --> 00:51:56,941 Call Ezzie's mom. 1100 00:51:57,044 --> 00:51:59,909 - You hear me? Call Ezzie's mom. - I don't have your pan. 1101 00:52:02,084 --> 00:52:03,879 [phone chiming] 1102 00:52:06,364 --> 00:52:08,435 - Where are you? - Uh, don't worry about it. 1103 00:52:08,539 --> 00:52:11,542 - Where are you? Where are you? - You know, Jen, I gotta say, 1104 00:52:11,645 --> 00:52:13,923 in spite of everything that we've been through, 1105 00:52:14,027 --> 00:52:16,167 I-- I really believed you when you said that no matter what, 1106 00:52:16,271 --> 00:52:18,135 we were gonna treat each other like family, 1107 00:52:18,238 --> 00:52:19,653 and we were gonna be honest with each other. 1108 00:52:19,757 --> 00:52:21,759 - Remember you said that? - You haven't been honest, Max. 1109 00:52:21,862 --> 00:52:24,520 You took him, and you need to bring him home! 1110 00:52:24,624 --> 00:52:25,832 L-Let me ask you something. 1111 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,730 Did Ezra tell you that the reason he ran into the street 1112 00:52:27,834 --> 00:52:30,526 was because he thought he was gonna get bit by a dog? 1113 00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:33,322 Yes, I mean, what difference does it make? 1114 00:52:33,426 --> 00:52:36,394 He ran out of the house in his pajamas, barefoot, 1115 00:52:36,498 --> 00:52:38,155 and he nearly got hit by a cab! 1116 00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:40,295 Yeah, because he heard your boyfriend say he was gonna kill me. 1117 00:52:40,398 --> 00:52:41,744 Yeah, and he was coming to warn me. 1118 00:52:41,848 --> 00:52:44,747 Okay, y-- you're scaring me now, Max. 1119 00:52:44,851 --> 00:52:47,647 I'm scaring you? Why don't you ask your boyfriend? 1120 00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:49,235 You know Ezzie doesn't lie! 1121 00:52:49,338 --> 00:52:51,375 Okay. Hey, hey, you-- you're right. 1122 00:52:51,478 --> 00:52:53,791 You are family. You are. 1123 00:52:54,309 --> 00:52:57,208 But you need to just bring him home now, okay? 1124 00:52:58,692 --> 00:53:01,005 Come home, and we'll talk about all of this. 1125 00:53:01,488 --> 00:53:02,765 None of this is easy, 1126 00:53:02,869 --> 00:53:06,044 but all I ever wanted was just to protect our boy. 1127 00:53:06,493 --> 00:53:08,081 Well, I'm protecting him now. 1128 00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,634 And leave my father alone. 1129 00:53:14,743 --> 00:53:18,022 You waited four days to call about a missing child 1130 00:53:18,125 --> 00:53:19,955 taken by a man you're divorcing, 1131 00:53:20,058 --> 00:53:22,820 who has a restraining order keeping him from seeing that child. 1132 00:53:22,923 --> 00:53:25,616 - Is that about right? - [Jenna] I know how it sounds. 1133 00:53:26,444 --> 00:53:27,652 He's his father. 1134 00:53:27,756 --> 00:53:29,206 You don't think he'd hurt your son? 1135 00:53:29,309 --> 00:53:30,931 No. No, no, absolutely not. 1136 00:53:31,311 --> 00:53:33,313 All right. Um, let's make a few calls. 1137 00:53:33,417 --> 00:53:36,523 We'll see if we can find him, and, um, put a trace on his phone. 1138 00:53:36,627 --> 00:53:38,422 No disrespect, Mike, but no. 1139 00:53:38,525 --> 00:53:42,149 I'm sorry, miss, but right now I'm not feelin' good about this. 1140 00:53:42,253 --> 00:53:43,979 - You understand? - Yeah, I understand. 1141 00:53:44,082 --> 00:53:47,776 Good, because from a missing and exploited child perspective, 1142 00:53:47,879 --> 00:53:50,227 we need to issue an Amber Alert now. 1143 00:53:50,330 --> 00:53:52,332 Are you sure this situation warrants-- 1144 00:53:52,436 --> 00:53:54,955 Margo, let's just start with a missing person's report 1145 00:53:55,059 --> 00:53:57,164 Amber is for situations exactly like this one. 1146 00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,959 And we're late, ma'am. 1147 00:53:59,063 --> 00:54:01,583 I'm afraid it's not your decision. 1148 00:54:01,686 --> 00:54:03,792 [gentle guitar music playing] 1149 00:54:03,895 --> 00:54:05,483 [Margaret] You know how to do it? 1150 00:54:05,587 --> 00:54:07,451 [Margaret chuckles] 1151 00:54:22,293 --> 00:54:25,710 [Nick] Hey, that's nice. Thank you. 1152 00:54:26,159 --> 00:54:28,748 - [Max] Packed up and ready to go. - [Nick] Okay. 1153 00:54:31,578 --> 00:54:33,546 I don't think that kid's ready to go, though. 1154 00:54:33,649 --> 00:54:35,030 - Hmm? - You see him over there 1155 00:54:35,133 --> 00:54:37,446 - making lanyards with Sister Margaret? - Yeah. 1156 00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:39,690 - Kid's trying to steal my girl. - [Max chuckles] 1157 00:54:39,793 --> 00:54:42,244 - [Max] They look good together. - [Nick chuckles] 1158 00:54:42,348 --> 00:54:44,902 I think it's the autism. Chicks dig it. 1159 00:54:45,730 --> 00:54:48,250 Sometimes I think I might be on the spectrum. 1160 00:54:48,906 --> 00:54:50,356 I think you check a lot of the boxes. 1161 00:54:50,459 --> 00:54:52,047 - Yeah. - But, nah, I just think 1162 00:54:52,150 --> 00:54:53,980 you're a strange dude. 1163 00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:57,259 Yeah, I'm just uncomfortable in social situations. 1164 00:54:57,363 --> 00:54:58,674 It's good you're out here. 1165 00:54:58,778 --> 00:55:01,988 - Yeah. Keeps me away from... - Everyone. 1166 00:55:02,091 --> 00:55:04,611 - People. - Yeah. Yeah. 1167 00:55:05,232 --> 00:55:07,683 [sighs] You guys are welcome to stay. 1168 00:55:07,787 --> 00:55:11,066 Oh, buddy. I'd love to stay, but we can't. I gotta be in LA. 1169 00:55:11,446 --> 00:55:12,895 - What's in LA? - [sighs] 1170 00:55:14,932 --> 00:55:16,071 I booked Kimmel. 1171 00:55:18,556 --> 00:55:20,317 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Yeah, it's not-- 1172 00:55:20,420 --> 00:55:23,009 You wouldn't lead with that? That's amazing! 1173 00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:25,252 - Yeah, it's okay. - Max, come on! 1174 00:55:25,356 --> 00:55:26,944 - Kimmel, that's great! - Yeah. 1175 00:55:27,047 --> 00:55:30,499 Best I did is get bumped from Arsenio. Worst night of my life. 1176 00:55:30,603 --> 00:55:32,777 Hasselhoff segment ran long. 1177 00:55:32,881 --> 00:55:35,332 - [chuckles] - I'll tell you what, you go to LA, 1178 00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:36,850 you work on your set, you get relaxed, 1179 00:55:36,954 --> 00:55:39,025 you get focused, you get centered, take care of yourself. 1180 00:55:39,128 --> 00:55:40,198 Leave Ezra with me. 1181 00:55:40,302 --> 00:55:41,303 Me and Margaret will take care of him-- 1182 00:55:41,407 --> 00:55:42,580 I can't do it, buddy. 1183 00:55:42,684 --> 00:55:44,064 - I gotta have him with me. - Why not? 1184 00:55:44,168 --> 00:55:46,929 Because I need him. He keeps my feet on the ground. 1185 00:55:47,274 --> 00:55:49,069 All right, fine. [sighs] 1186 00:55:49,173 --> 00:55:51,244 I'll bake you a cake and bring it to you in prison. 1187 00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:54,212 Okay, well, make sure you throw Stan's saucepan in there. 1188 00:55:54,316 --> 00:55:56,353 - I don't have the pan. - [whistle blows] 1189 00:55:59,045 --> 00:56:02,428 Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Carlton. Have a lovely day. 1190 00:56:02,531 --> 00:56:03,670 [Stan chuckles] 1191 00:56:04,671 --> 00:56:06,155 [Jenna] Where are they? 1192 00:56:06,259 --> 00:56:08,226 What do you mean? Just call him. 1193 00:56:08,330 --> 00:56:10,401 He doesn't answer. He's just like you. 1194 00:56:10,505 --> 00:56:12,679 I-- well, I can't talk. I'm working. I can't. 1195 00:56:12,783 --> 00:56:15,302 Hello, Mrs. C. And how are you today, young ladies? 1196 00:56:15,406 --> 00:56:16,856 - [girl] Hi, Stan! - Score a goal, 1197 00:56:16,959 --> 00:56:18,616 there's a box of Cracker Jacks in there for you. 1198 00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:20,169 Cracker Jacks are no good for her teeth. 1199 00:56:20,273 --> 00:56:22,206 There's gonna be an Amber Alert. 1200 00:56:22,551 --> 00:56:24,001 What do you mean? You called the cops on him? 1201 00:56:24,104 --> 00:56:25,382 Where is Ezzie? 1202 00:56:27,556 --> 00:56:29,903 He's with his father. You shouldn't have done that. 1203 00:56:30,007 --> 00:56:32,112 That's a-- that's a very bad thing to do. 1204 00:56:32,216 --> 00:56:33,804 - I did a bad thing? - Yes. 1205 00:56:33,907 --> 00:56:36,082 - You're making it so he can't see him. - Max did that! 1206 00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:38,291 - What did you expect him to do? - Not kidnap him! 1207 00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,914 You made it kid-- you made it kidnapping. 1208 00:56:41,018 --> 00:56:42,088 [Stan groans] 1209 00:56:43,192 --> 00:56:44,815 Please. Please. 1210 00:56:44,918 --> 00:56:47,369 - Stan, I don't-- - How could you do that? 1211 00:56:47,473 --> 00:56:49,129 Amber Alert. Do you know what that is? 1212 00:56:49,233 --> 00:56:51,684 - I don't wanna fight. - Well, I don't wanna fight either, 1213 00:56:51,787 --> 00:56:53,513 but all of a sudden you don't believe in him. 1214 00:56:53,617 --> 00:56:55,308 Now you're gonna-- Amber Alert? 1215 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:57,724 I got tired of not knowing what he was gonna do on any given day. 1216 00:56:57,828 --> 00:57:01,038 I'm already so tired with Ezzie. Please, I just-- 1217 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:05,387 I'm-- I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm alone. And I need help. 1218 00:57:06,112 --> 00:57:08,735 Rice Krispies boys make me really tired. 1219 00:57:16,847 --> 00:57:18,780 All right, well, we're gonna have to-- 1220 00:57:18,883 --> 00:57:21,472 we're gonna have to get to 'em before the cops do. 1221 00:57:23,336 --> 00:57:25,131 - We? - Yeah, we. Yeah. 1222 00:57:25,234 --> 00:57:27,029 The shift ends, we start driving. 1223 00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:29,722 Take 11 hours to get to Michigan. 1224 00:57:29,825 --> 00:57:31,724 Hopefully, get to them by tomorrow. 1225 00:57:32,932 --> 00:57:34,243 He's at Nick's? 1226 00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:38,213 Yes. He's with Nick. I'm not happy about that, but yes. 1227 00:57:38,731 --> 00:57:41,147 Unfortunately, we're going to Nick's. Yeah. 1228 00:57:41,561 --> 00:57:43,425 [Max] I have a self-destructive personality. 1229 00:57:43,529 --> 00:57:44,737 [audience laughs] 1230 00:57:45,013 --> 00:57:47,464 But it's okay 'cause I recently had a breakthrough. 1231 00:57:47,567 --> 00:57:50,536 After thousands of hours of hypnosis therapy, 1232 00:57:50,639 --> 00:57:52,745 I finally met my inner child. 1233 00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:55,299 And he had a gun. 1234 00:57:55,402 --> 00:57:57,025 [audience laughs] 1235 00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:03,445 Yeah, oh, hey. What's up, little guy? 1236 00:58:03,549 --> 00:58:06,137 Whoa. Okay. Well, what? 1237 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,762 Okay, come on. Put-- put the gun down. Put the gun down. 1238 00:58:09,865 --> 00:58:11,349 I'm trying to do a show here. 1239 00:58:11,453 --> 00:58:13,869 Can you get back in my psyche please? Thank you. 1240 00:58:13,973 --> 00:58:17,701 Anyway, my therapist said to me, "Max, you're an adult now. 1241 00:58:17,804 --> 00:58:20,600 You don't need your inner child. He can't help you anymore." 1242 00:58:20,704 --> 00:58:22,326 I said, "Oh, yeah, really, Mark? 1243 00:58:22,429 --> 00:58:23,914 He's got a gun. What do you got? 1244 00:58:24,017 --> 00:58:26,433 I'm taking this little sociopath with me everywhere I go." 1245 00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,332 Thank you, Lansing! 1246 00:58:28,435 --> 00:58:30,403 Great audience. Have a great night! 1247 00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:33,820 [audience cheering] 1248 00:58:33,924 --> 00:58:37,444 [comedian] Come on, everybody, let's hear it for Max Bernal! 1249 00:58:37,790 --> 00:58:39,723 [Max] Let's have a, um, whiskey neat 1250 00:58:39,826 --> 00:58:41,863 and another pineapple juice for my manager here. 1251 00:58:41,966 --> 00:58:43,692 [bartender] Pineapple juice coming right up. 1252 00:58:43,796 --> 00:58:45,556 You really should get the boy home. 1253 00:58:45,660 --> 00:58:46,971 - [Max] Okay. - He's your son, right? 1254 00:58:47,075 --> 00:58:49,111 Uh, yeah. That's-- uh, that's my son. 1255 00:58:49,215 --> 00:58:51,251 It's after 12:00. I was watching him. 1256 00:58:51,355 --> 00:58:52,908 He doesn't seem happy here. 1257 00:58:53,046 --> 00:58:56,187 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. You were watching him during my set? 1258 00:58:56,291 --> 00:58:58,120 - And now I'm offended. I got this, Ez. - No, Dad, Dad... 1259 00:58:58,224 --> 00:58:59,915 - I got it. - No child should be in this club. 1260 00:59:00,019 --> 00:59:02,159 Especially not a child with issues. 1261 00:59:02,262 --> 00:59:03,263 - Issues? - Yeah. 1262 00:59:03,505 --> 00:59:05,196 - I can't hear. - Really? Let me ask you something. 1263 00:59:05,300 --> 00:59:07,405 Do I come to where you work and knock the cock outta your mouth? 1264 00:59:07,509 --> 00:59:08,545 [bartender] Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1265 00:59:08,648 --> 00:59:09,994 - That's my wife. - Oh, really? 1266 00:59:10,477 --> 00:59:12,203 I'm sorry to hear that, but she should mind her own fucking business. 1267 00:59:12,307 --> 00:59:13,377 Hey, hey, hey! 1268 00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:15,034 [all shouting indistinctly] 1269 00:59:15,137 --> 00:59:16,794 [glass shattering] 1270 00:59:18,278 --> 00:59:19,694 [Ezra] Dad! 1271 00:59:19,797 --> 00:59:21,212 [woman screams] 1272 00:59:21,316 --> 00:59:22,420 [Max] Come on, Ezra! 1273 00:59:22,524 --> 00:59:24,975 [emotional piano music playing] 1274 00:59:28,116 --> 00:59:31,947 - They were the owners. - Like I said, Ez, I didn't know. 1275 00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:35,468 - They were the owners. - We covered this already, okay? 1276 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,090 That's enough now. 1277 00:59:37,815 --> 00:59:41,094 - I wanna go home. - Hey, buddy, I'm sorry, okay? 1278 00:59:41,198 --> 00:59:42,717 - I want to go home! - It was my bad. 1279 00:59:42,820 --> 00:59:44,719 Okay, listen to me, Ezzie, okay? 1280 00:59:45,202 --> 00:59:48,170 Sometimes life's gonna get messy, okay? 1281 00:59:48,274 --> 00:59:51,967 And if it does, that's okay. 1282 00:59:52,071 --> 00:59:53,590 You know, people say life's gotta be neat, 1283 00:59:53,693 --> 00:59:55,626 it's gotta be nice, but it doesn't. 1284 00:59:57,007 --> 00:59:58,836 - You hear me? - Yes. 1285 01:00:00,631 --> 01:00:01,908 Okay. 1286 01:00:03,392 --> 01:00:04,670 All right, that's good. 1287 01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:07,983 Go to sleep. That's-- 1288 01:00:09,191 --> 01:00:10,399 that's a good idea. 1289 01:00:10,503 --> 01:00:15,750 [♪] 1290 01:00:20,582 --> 01:00:22,619 [Jenna] I really appreciate this, Stan. 1291 01:00:28,521 --> 01:00:30,212 A mother's job is never done. 1292 01:00:31,248 --> 01:00:32,629 Or a father's. 1293 01:00:34,492 --> 01:00:35,597 [Jenna chuckles] 1294 01:00:35,701 --> 01:00:37,772 I guess I don't even know anymore. 1295 01:00:48,955 --> 01:00:50,785 Here. Turn here. Here. 1296 01:00:58,309 --> 01:01:00,726 There he is. There he is. Get close. Look, look. 1297 01:01:00,829 --> 01:01:02,762 Okay. Okay. 1298 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,145 [Nick] Shit! 1299 01:01:06,248 --> 01:01:08,526 [Pop-Pop] Look at your guilt on your face. 1300 01:01:08,630 --> 01:01:10,528 - What are you doing? - What am I doing? 1301 01:01:10,632 --> 01:01:12,461 - Run, Zorba, run! - Get off my property! 1302 01:01:12,565 --> 01:01:14,498 Yeah, run! Come on, run! 1303 01:01:14,601 --> 01:01:15,879 - Fuck you, Stan! - Yeah, fuck you! 1304 01:01:15,982 --> 01:01:18,398 Come on, I told you, I don't know where they went! 1305 01:01:18,502 --> 01:01:20,711 [Jenna] I thought you had more sense, Nick. 1306 01:01:20,815 --> 01:01:23,058 Yeah, well, I thought you had a heart, Jenna. 1307 01:01:23,162 --> 01:01:25,371 - Think about Ezra! - My kid is out there! 1308 01:01:25,474 --> 01:01:26,579 - Oh! Oh! Oh! - Where is he? 1309 01:01:26,786 --> 01:01:28,167 I'm gonna plunge this into your heart right now 1310 01:01:28,270 --> 01:01:29,824 unless you tell me exactly where they are! 1311 01:01:29,927 --> 01:01:31,032 Where are they? 1312 01:01:31,135 --> 01:01:33,068 They went to go do Kimmel in LA! 1313 01:01:35,864 --> 01:01:37,072 He got Kimmel? 1314 01:01:37,176 --> 01:01:37,935 Yeah. 1315 01:01:38,039 --> 01:01:39,350 I know. He booked Kimmel. 1316 01:01:40,558 --> 01:01:41,525 Can you believe it? 1317 01:01:41,628 --> 01:01:45,011 I mean, he's funny but-- [groans] 1318 01:01:45,115 --> 01:01:47,496 Wait, please don't tell Max that I ratted him out. 1319 01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,498 I'm not strong. 1320 01:01:49,602 --> 01:01:50,465 - Ow! - Stop whining! 1321 01:01:50,568 --> 01:01:52,018 God. 1322 01:01:52,122 --> 01:01:53,779 Meet me in the car. I've got some unfinished business. 1323 01:01:53,882 --> 01:01:55,919 Please, please, don't leave me alone with him. 1324 01:01:59,198 --> 01:02:02,442 Okay, I'm going to put this in as loving a way as possible. 1325 01:02:03,271 --> 01:02:04,755 You need help! 1326 01:02:04,859 --> 01:02:06,757 Oh, hi, this is Jayne Green's assistant. 1327 01:02:06,861 --> 01:02:10,416 I was wanting to confirm the date and time for Max Bernal's appearance. 1328 01:02:12,936 --> 01:02:15,732 Yes, I, uh, accidentally deleted an email. 1329 01:02:18,493 --> 01:02:20,702 Oh, great! Thank you so much. 1330 01:02:20,806 --> 01:02:22,428 Appreciate it. Take care. 1331 01:02:23,843 --> 01:02:24,982 Let's go. 1332 01:02:32,093 --> 01:02:33,508 I'm gonna get a coffee. 1333 01:02:33,611 --> 01:02:36,200 - Ooh, there's candy. - Hey, you've had enough sugar. 1334 01:02:37,201 --> 01:02:38,030 [Max chuckles] 1335 01:02:38,133 --> 01:02:39,548 Uh, can I have a black coffee please? 1336 01:02:39,652 --> 01:02:41,033 - Sure thing. - Thanks. 1337 01:02:43,587 --> 01:02:47,833 Hey, dude, where can I get a local motel you can suggest? 1338 01:02:47,936 --> 01:02:49,869 Uh, yeah, you got the Jersey plates, right? 1339 01:02:49,973 --> 01:02:51,181 - Uh-huh. - '71 El Do? 1340 01:02:51,284 --> 01:02:52,458 - Yeah. - Sweet. 1341 01:02:52,838 --> 01:02:55,806 Yeah. Hey, hey, sir, you-- you got a great-- great eye for cars. 1342 01:02:55,910 --> 01:02:58,395 Ah, only sort of. Uh, my grandma's got an El Do. 1343 01:02:58,498 --> 01:03:01,053 So, five exits, Best Western, includes breakfast and biscuits. 1344 01:03:01,156 --> 01:03:02,848 - Oh. Great. Which way? That way? - That way. 1345 01:03:02,951 --> 01:03:04,850 Hey, look, I'm on TV! 1346 01:03:05,436 --> 01:03:07,714 Yeah, look at that, buddy. Your commercial's running everywhere. 1347 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:09,061 - This should help. - Yeah. 1348 01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:10,717 Child actor, we're on our way to Hollywood 1349 01:03:10,821 --> 01:03:12,133 for a big screen test. 1350 01:03:12,236 --> 01:03:13,341 - Not true. - Why don't you go 1351 01:03:13,444 --> 01:03:15,688 - wait for me in the car, yeah? - Hey, wait! 1352 01:03:16,137 --> 01:03:18,795 Have I seen you in anything? 1353 01:03:18,898 --> 01:03:22,143 Sanford and Son. It will be remade! 1354 01:03:23,938 --> 01:03:26,181 Hey, let me get your autograph. Sign it "To Tim." 1355 01:03:26,285 --> 01:03:28,183 "You'll never catch me alive, Tim!" 1356 01:03:29,046 --> 01:03:30,392 [door creaking] 1357 01:03:40,747 --> 01:03:43,164 [Max] DUI Checkpoint. What the hell? 1358 01:03:53,001 --> 01:03:56,039 [car rattling] 1359 01:03:56,142 --> 01:03:57,764 - [Max] Whoa! - [Ezra] What's wrong? 1360 01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,490 Nothing! Go back to sleep, buddy. 1361 01:03:59,594 --> 01:04:01,078 - Come on, it's late. - What are you doing? 1362 01:04:01,182 --> 01:04:03,046 - Just taking a shortcut. - To where? 1363 01:04:03,149 --> 01:04:05,945 - Best campsite in Nebraska. - This isn't a shortcut! 1364 01:04:06,049 --> 01:04:07,429 - Yeah, it is! - No, it's not! 1365 01:04:07,533 --> 01:04:09,949 I can see the road right there-- shit! 1366 01:04:10,053 --> 01:04:11,986 - [metallic clanking] - Fuck! 1367 01:04:12,089 --> 01:04:14,160 Ez? Ez, where are ya? You okay? 1368 01:04:14,264 --> 01:04:16,024 - Ezzie? - [Ezra groans] 1369 01:04:16,128 --> 01:04:17,612 I want to go home! 1370 01:04:17,715 --> 01:04:18,958 - [car door clicks open] - [Max] Ez. 1371 01:04:19,062 --> 01:04:22,928 Ez! Fuck! Fuck! Hey, come on, buddy! 1372 01:04:25,206 --> 01:04:26,103 Okay. 1373 01:04:27,070 --> 01:04:28,347 Come on, where are you? 1374 01:04:29,141 --> 01:04:30,038 Ez? 1375 01:04:31,281 --> 01:04:32,040 Ezzie? 1376 01:04:32,144 --> 01:04:34,008 [breathing heavily] 1377 01:04:35,388 --> 01:04:36,320 Fuck! 1378 01:04:36,424 --> 01:04:37,632 [foliage rustling] 1379 01:04:39,427 --> 01:04:40,497 Ezzie! 1380 01:04:45,226 --> 01:04:46,399 Ezzie! 1381 01:04:56,754 --> 01:04:57,997 Ez! 1382 01:05:04,590 --> 01:05:05,867 Ezzie! 1383 01:05:05,971 --> 01:05:11,286 [♪] 1384 01:05:11,390 --> 01:05:13,426 [steam hissing] 1385 01:05:16,015 --> 01:05:17,465 - [Max] Hey! Stop! - [Ezra] No! 1386 01:05:17,568 --> 01:05:18,845 Stop! 1387 01:05:19,363 --> 01:05:21,365 - Hey! Hey! I said stop, okay? - Ow! 1388 01:05:21,469 --> 01:05:23,609 Stop! I said stop! 1389 01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:25,576 I told you to stop! 1390 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,199 What are you gonna do? 1391 01:05:27,716 --> 01:05:30,685 Hit me? You wanna hit me? Come on, hit me! 1392 01:05:30,788 --> 01:05:32,135 No! I'm-- I'm not, I'm not. 1393 01:05:32,238 --> 01:05:33,515 No, I just-- you scared me, buddy. 1394 01:05:33,619 --> 01:05:35,897 You freaked me out. I'm sorry. Okay? 1395 01:05:36,001 --> 01:05:37,830 Why did you take me? 1396 01:05:38,244 --> 01:05:40,591 Why did you take me if you don't know how to help me? 1397 01:05:40,695 --> 01:05:42,248 I don't know, buddy. 1398 01:05:42,352 --> 01:05:44,388 You're my superhero. I just-- you're everything. 1399 01:05:44,492 --> 01:05:46,149 You're my mojo. 1400 01:05:46,252 --> 01:05:48,806 I'm not your superhero! 1401 01:05:48,910 --> 01:05:51,050 I'm not your mojo! I'm not your buddy! 1402 01:05:51,154 --> 01:05:53,466 I'm your son! And you're my dad! 1403 01:05:53,570 --> 01:05:56,711 My dad! My dad! My dad! My dad! My dad! 1404 01:05:56,814 --> 01:05:59,196 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. 1405 01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:01,164 - [sobbing] I hate you. - It's okay. 1406 01:06:01,267 --> 01:06:04,132 I hate you. [sobbing] 1407 01:06:04,236 --> 01:06:06,100 [hissing continues] 1408 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,414 [crickets chirping] 1409 01:06:31,711 --> 01:06:33,782 [line ringing] 1410 01:06:33,886 --> 01:06:36,233 [Max breathing heavily] 1411 01:06:37,821 --> 01:06:39,616 - [Stan] Hello? - Pop? 1412 01:06:41,549 --> 01:06:42,515 Hello? 1413 01:06:42,619 --> 01:06:43,930 I almost hit my kid. 1414 01:06:44,034 --> 01:06:45,277 Wh-- what happened? 1415 01:06:46,071 --> 01:06:47,210 What h-- what happened? 1416 01:06:47,313 --> 01:06:48,970 - I-- I almost-- - What? 1417 01:06:49,074 --> 01:06:50,661 I almost hit Ezra. 1418 01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:52,698 Where are you? Shit. 1419 01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:56,357 - I-- I'm in the-- I'm in the woods. - Where, where, where? 1420 01:06:56,460 --> 01:06:58,117 The fucking woods. I don't know where, okay? 1421 01:06:58,221 --> 01:07:01,258 I just-- I almost hit Ezra, and I-- 1422 01:07:01,362 --> 01:07:02,708 I don't know where to put all this, Pop. 1423 01:07:02,811 --> 01:07:05,435 I don't know where to put all this fucking rage. 1424 01:07:05,849 --> 01:07:09,197 You don't put it anywhere. You just-- you bury it. 1425 01:07:09,577 --> 01:07:12,856 Yeah, okay. But I'm asking you, what do I do? 1426 01:07:12,959 --> 01:07:13,995 You know what to do! You can't-- 1427 01:07:14,099 --> 01:07:15,445 I don't. I don't know what to do, man. 1428 01:07:15,548 --> 01:07:17,378 I'm in a forest, I'm losing my shit, 1429 01:07:17,481 --> 01:07:19,690 and I don't know what to do, so I thought that maybe, 1430 01:07:19,794 --> 01:07:21,451 just maybe you might just be like a normal dad 1431 01:07:21,554 --> 01:07:22,624 and give me some fucking advice! 1432 01:07:22,831 --> 01:07:24,212 Max, shut up. What are you talking about? 1433 01:07:24,316 --> 01:07:25,765 I'm trying to talk to you about it now. 1434 01:07:25,869 --> 01:07:26,870 And then you want some advice? 1435 01:07:26,973 --> 01:07:28,044 I'll give you some advice. 1436 01:07:28,147 --> 01:07:29,424 It's this simple. 1437 01:07:29,528 --> 01:07:31,599 Bite your arm off, tie yourself to a tree, 1438 01:07:31,702 --> 01:07:34,153 do whatever you need to do to not hit your kid. 1439 01:07:34,257 --> 01:07:36,052 It's that simple. 1440 01:07:37,329 --> 01:07:38,468 You understand? 1441 01:07:38,571 --> 01:07:40,332 Look what happened with us. It killed me. 1442 01:07:40,435 --> 01:07:42,644 You cannot hit him. You cannot hit him! 1443 01:07:44,922 --> 01:07:46,821 Okay, I-- Yeah, I get it. 1444 01:07:47,511 --> 01:07:48,754 Are you sure you do? Because if you did, 1445 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:50,100 you'd know it's time to throw in the towel 1446 01:07:50,204 --> 01:07:51,239 on this stupid trip. 1447 01:07:51,343 --> 01:07:53,034 - It's not a stupid trip. - Yes, it is. 1448 01:07:53,138 --> 01:07:54,587 It's not, Pop. It's not stupid. 1449 01:07:54,691 --> 01:07:57,211 Yes, it is. It's stupid. 1450 01:07:57,314 --> 01:07:59,454 How are you gonna feel if you end up back in jail? 1451 01:07:59,558 --> 01:08:00,455 Then what? 1452 01:08:01,525 --> 01:08:03,079 [Max sighs] 1453 01:08:03,182 --> 01:08:05,150 Where are you? I'll come get you. 1454 01:08:10,569 --> 01:08:12,709 Fuck. Fuck. 1455 01:08:12,812 --> 01:08:15,884 [panting] 1456 01:08:17,541 --> 01:08:19,647 [birds chirping] 1457 01:08:32,694 --> 01:08:35,145 [urinating] 1458 01:08:41,669 --> 01:08:42,635 [unzips pants] 1459 01:08:46,260 --> 01:08:47,916 [Jenna] You can't even say the word. 1460 01:08:48,020 --> 01:08:49,194 [Stan] It's just a word. 1461 01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,265 Autism. 1462 01:08:53,370 --> 01:08:54,751 Yeah, whatever. 1463 01:08:54,854 --> 01:08:56,822 [chuckles] 1464 01:08:56,925 --> 01:09:01,447 Saying it out loud, it'll help Ezzie in his life. 1465 01:09:01,551 --> 01:09:05,417 Nah, you know, I don't-- I'm not sure about that. 1466 01:09:07,798 --> 01:09:10,560 We gotta be able to talk about this and not... 1467 01:09:11,388 --> 01:09:12,976 Okay, tell me. What do you want to talk about? 1468 01:09:13,079 --> 01:09:14,426 I don't want to be hiding about it. 1469 01:09:14,529 --> 01:09:16,048 I want to talk about it. I want to give it a name. 1470 01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:18,050 I want to get-- I want to get all the help we can get. 1471 01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:19,948 Who's hiding? Who's hiding? Nobody's hiding. 1472 01:09:20,052 --> 01:09:22,641 Max is hiding him right now! He took him, he's hiding him! 1473 01:09:22,744 --> 01:09:24,436 He's not hiding him, he's taking him somewhere. 1474 01:09:24,539 --> 01:09:26,438 You think he's gonna kill him? He's gonna-- 1475 01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:28,578 I don't think-- of course I don't think that. 1476 01:09:28,681 --> 01:09:31,477 - [overlapping conversation] - I don't think that, but he scared me. 1477 01:09:31,581 --> 01:09:33,962 You know he's gonna take him somewhere or do something. 1478 01:09:34,066 --> 01:09:36,551 But that doesn't mean he's gonna do anything bad to him. 1479 01:09:36,655 --> 01:09:37,656 I don't know. 1480 01:09:37,759 --> 01:09:39,485 The fragility of Max and his mental state, 1481 01:09:39,589 --> 01:09:42,557 and his situ-- he's-- he flies off the handle. 1482 01:09:42,661 --> 01:09:44,697 He doesn't know how to control Ezzie. 1483 01:09:44,801 --> 01:09:46,803 He doesn't know everything that he needs. 1484 01:09:46,906 --> 01:09:49,426 No, he doesn't. But neither do you. Nobody knows. 1485 01:09:49,530 --> 01:09:51,048 - I-- - It's what it is. 1486 01:09:51,152 --> 01:09:52,878 It's a condition that just is there. 1487 01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:55,467 We have to deal with it. 1488 01:09:55,570 --> 01:09:57,158 And I know you-- I know you think 1489 01:09:57,262 --> 01:09:59,333 my side gave him what you say he's got. 1490 01:09:59,436 --> 01:10:00,851 - I never said that. - You didn't have to. 1491 01:10:00,955 --> 01:10:02,163 I never said that. 1492 01:10:02,577 --> 01:10:04,165 And my wife did the same thing. I had the same fights with her. 1493 01:10:04,269 --> 01:10:06,443 - Do not compare me to his mother. - I'm not comparing you, but-- 1494 01:10:06,547 --> 01:10:07,755 Don't compare me to his mother. 1495 01:10:07,858 --> 01:10:10,033 I'm not comparing you, but there is a similarity. 1496 01:10:10,136 --> 01:10:12,242 I'm sorry. It is what it is. 1497 01:10:12,346 --> 01:10:14,037 I devoted my life to this family. 1498 01:10:14,140 --> 01:10:17,868 I'm devoting my life to this family. That woman abandoned him. 1499 01:10:18,938 --> 01:10:21,527 I don't even know what happened because you don't talk about it, 1500 01:10:21,631 --> 01:10:24,323 and Max doesn't talk about it, so nobody talks about anything. 1501 01:10:24,427 --> 01:10:26,567 But-- but what she did was unforgivable. 1502 01:10:27,395 --> 01:10:28,672 Don't compare me to her. 1503 01:10:30,087 --> 01:10:31,261 How dare you. 1504 01:10:31,365 --> 01:10:33,781 It was a-- 1505 01:10:33,884 --> 01:10:36,784 it was a long time ago, so it's all over with now. 1506 01:10:37,888 --> 01:10:41,029 [flies buzzing] 1507 01:10:45,724 --> 01:10:47,864 [Ezra] I can't believe you grew up around here. 1508 01:10:47,967 --> 01:10:49,279 [Max] Yeah, I know, right? 1509 01:10:49,693 --> 01:10:51,281 Pop-Pop met my mother in New York, 1510 01:10:51,385 --> 01:10:53,456 and then, well, we all moved to Nebraska. 1511 01:10:53,559 --> 01:10:54,802 Why did your mother leave? 1512 01:10:58,702 --> 01:11:01,429 Uh, you know, it's funny, buddy. 1513 01:11:01,533 --> 01:11:03,259 I-- I don't really know. 1514 01:11:03,362 --> 01:11:04,398 That's not funny. 1515 01:11:05,744 --> 01:11:07,332 You're right. It's not funny. 1516 01:11:10,024 --> 01:11:12,751 You know, I just-- I woke up one morning, and she was gone. 1517 01:11:14,891 --> 01:11:17,100 And I guess, uh, 1518 01:11:17,203 --> 01:11:18,515 I guess after so many years, 1519 01:11:18,619 --> 01:11:20,103 I just worked it out for myself 1520 01:11:20,206 --> 01:11:22,692 that she must have been pretty sad 1521 01:11:24,176 --> 01:11:25,695 to do something like that, right? 1522 01:11:26,661 --> 01:11:29,077 She was a terrible mother. 1523 01:11:32,426 --> 01:11:33,703 You're right. She was. 1524 01:11:36,326 --> 01:11:37,362 She was. 1525 01:11:40,951 --> 01:11:43,160 [Max] All right, come on. Let's go. 1526 01:11:43,264 --> 01:11:44,507 Hey, folks, thank you again. 1527 01:11:44,610 --> 01:11:47,130 - Thank you so much. - [man] Bye. Be safe now. 1528 01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:48,614 [Max] What a nice couple. 1529 01:11:49,201 --> 01:11:52,480 I bet-- I bet they've been together since they were your age. 1530 01:11:52,584 --> 01:11:56,070 - I'm going to die a virgin. - What? No, that's bullshit. 1531 01:11:56,553 --> 01:12:00,005 Someone out there who loves dinosaurs, 1532 01:12:00,108 --> 01:12:02,318 Dostoevsky and Family Guy. 1533 01:12:02,421 --> 01:12:04,803 - You watch. - And live action D&D. 1534 01:12:04,906 --> 01:12:08,185 And live action D&D. There you go. You know what you want. 1535 01:12:08,841 --> 01:12:11,775 - What are we doing here? - [Max sighs] 1536 01:12:11,879 --> 01:12:15,986 The lady who lives here is an old friend of your dad's. 1537 01:12:16,815 --> 01:12:19,196 This place looks like a demon movie waiting to happen. 1538 01:12:19,300 --> 01:12:21,820 [chuckles] Let's hope not, huh? 1539 01:12:21,923 --> 01:12:24,547 Ah! [knocks on door] 1540 01:12:28,689 --> 01:12:30,415 - Oh, my God! - Oh, hey! 1541 01:12:30,518 --> 01:12:32,727 - Hi. - What-- 1542 01:12:32,831 --> 01:12:35,281 - Hi. - [chuckles] Oh, no! 1543 01:12:35,385 --> 01:12:36,904 - Hi! - Hi, Grace. Hi! 1544 01:12:37,007 --> 01:12:38,077 What are you doing here? 1545 01:12:38,181 --> 01:12:40,148 [Max sighs] That's a-- that's a long story. 1546 01:12:40,252 --> 01:12:43,738 Um, Grace, this is Ezra. 1547 01:12:46,258 --> 01:12:48,053 Nice to meet you, Ezra. 1548 01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:49,503 Heard a lot about you. 1549 01:12:50,780 --> 01:12:52,816 - I've never heard about you. - [Max] Yeah. 1550 01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:54,680 - [girl] Who's here, Mom? - [Max] Oh, wow. 1551 01:12:54,784 --> 01:12:57,234 - You're-- - [chuckles] This is my Ruby. 1552 01:12:57,338 --> 01:12:59,029 Way different from your baby picture. 1553 01:12:59,133 --> 01:13:00,065 [chuckles] I hope so. 1554 01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:02,170 - Hi. - [Grace] This is an old friend, Max. 1555 01:13:02,274 --> 01:13:03,655 And his son Ezra. 1556 01:13:04,656 --> 01:13:05,898 Hi. 1557 01:13:06,002 --> 01:13:08,038 Do you wanna come play with Harper and me? 1558 01:13:09,315 --> 01:13:10,178 [Ruby chuckles] 1559 01:13:12,284 --> 01:13:13,768 Come on! Harper! 1560 01:13:13,872 --> 01:13:15,183 [Harper panting] 1561 01:13:15,287 --> 01:13:17,289 - This is a surprise. - Yeah, I know. 1562 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:20,810 - Mm. - You think we can go inside? 1563 01:13:20,913 --> 01:13:23,399 I'm kind of a fugitive from the law. 1564 01:13:23,502 --> 01:13:24,986 - What the hell? - I'm not joking. 1565 01:13:25,918 --> 01:13:26,919 Come on! 1566 01:13:27,023 --> 01:13:29,612 [Harper barking] 1567 01:13:32,994 --> 01:13:34,030 Harper! 1568 01:13:37,896 --> 01:13:38,759 [Ezra] Does... 1569 01:13:39,932 --> 01:13:42,279 does Harper always follow you? 1570 01:13:42,383 --> 01:13:43,488 All the time. 1571 01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:45,351 Lucky dog. 1572 01:13:45,662 --> 01:13:48,838 [girl] Get off of me! [laughter] 1573 01:13:48,941 --> 01:13:52,358 Ridgeway has tried to push me into Jack's pond. 1574 01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:54,395 - You loved it! - [girl] You wish! 1575 01:13:54,499 --> 01:13:57,640 - [Ridgeway] You moving on my girl, man? - Uh, I'm not his girl. 1576 01:13:59,262 --> 01:14:00,643 [Ridgeway] Introduce us, Rubes. 1577 01:14:00,746 --> 01:14:03,922 - Ezra, Ridgeway and Cally. - Where are you from? 1578 01:14:06,303 --> 01:14:07,788 He's from back east. 1579 01:14:08,202 --> 01:14:09,686 Wow, look at him go. 1580 01:14:09,790 --> 01:14:12,793 Please don't be a dick. 1581 01:14:12,896 --> 01:14:15,865 "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask." 1582 01:14:15,968 --> 01:14:18,833 That was pretty random, freak. 1583 01:14:18,937 --> 01:14:21,698 "Who is Bane? Why does he wear the mask?" 1584 01:14:21,802 --> 01:14:23,148 Dark Knight is my obsession. 1585 01:14:25,219 --> 01:14:26,116 Let's go. 1586 01:14:28,118 --> 01:14:29,257 [Grace] So tell me again. 1587 01:14:29,361 --> 01:14:31,674 Oh, I just ran out of patience. 1588 01:14:31,777 --> 01:14:33,158 Which happens to all parents. 1589 01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:35,574 Yeah, but what I was seeing-- 1590 01:14:35,678 --> 01:14:36,713 He wasn't safe. 1591 01:14:38,370 --> 01:14:39,475 And now he is? 1592 01:14:43,202 --> 01:14:44,549 Appears safe to me. 1593 01:14:47,379 --> 01:14:50,831 - Ugh... I don't know, Max. - What? 1594 01:14:50,934 --> 01:14:52,246 Why don't you let me call Jenna? 1595 01:14:52,349 --> 01:14:54,248 No, no, no, no. Look, I already called her, okay? 1596 01:14:54,351 --> 01:14:55,525 She knows he's okay. 1597 01:14:57,976 --> 01:14:58,873 Okay. 1598 01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:00,703 Yeah. 1599 01:15:01,117 --> 01:15:03,706 I'm not gonna fight you on it, all right? 1600 01:15:03,809 --> 01:15:06,329 So eat your sandwich, wash up, 1601 01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:08,055 and hitchhike off to LA. 1602 01:15:09,574 --> 01:15:12,715 Look, I know this all seems insane, but... 1603 01:15:12,818 --> 01:15:14,751 - Yeah. - ...I didn't know where else to go. 1604 01:15:14,855 --> 01:15:15,925 So... 1605 01:15:17,167 --> 01:15:19,238 So let me help you. 1606 01:15:19,342 --> 01:15:22,587 I can't-- I got-- I gotta finish this, Grace. 1607 01:15:22,690 --> 01:15:25,521 I do, you know. That kid is-- 1608 01:15:26,176 --> 01:15:27,937 is the one thing that I can't get wrong. 1609 01:15:28,040 --> 01:15:29,732 That's right. That's right, you can't. 1610 01:15:29,835 --> 01:15:31,527 - Because he's perfect. - No. 1611 01:15:31,906 --> 01:15:33,701 He's not, Grace. He's not perfect. 1612 01:15:33,805 --> 01:15:36,083 And everybody's trying to make him be 1613 01:15:36,186 --> 01:15:37,325 just like everybody else. 1614 01:15:37,429 --> 01:15:39,465 Me included, right? 1615 01:15:39,569 --> 01:15:41,709 And then one day he might magically wake up 1616 01:15:41,813 --> 01:15:45,023 [stammers] and become the coolest, most amped up 1617 01:15:45,126 --> 01:15:49,199 and normal kid that's ever walked the face of the earth. 1618 01:15:49,303 --> 01:15:50,787 And that is not gonna happen. 1619 01:15:52,444 --> 01:15:53,341 It's not. 1620 01:16:00,210 --> 01:16:01,522 It's not. It's never gonna happen. 1621 01:16:01,626 --> 01:16:02,661 So, I have to protect him, 1622 01:16:02,765 --> 01:16:04,974 you know, and if I can't protect him, 1623 01:16:05,077 --> 01:16:06,700 well, then, he's not gonna make it. 1624 01:16:06,803 --> 01:16:08,253 And I-- [exhales] 1625 01:16:08,356 --> 01:16:10,324 ["Carry You" by Novo Amor plays] 1626 01:16:13,051 --> 01:16:15,605 [Max sighing] 1627 01:16:20,506 --> 01:16:22,923 Do you want caramel or fudge? 1628 01:16:24,062 --> 01:16:25,132 [Ridgeway] Both. 1629 01:16:25,235 --> 01:16:26,996 [Cally] You're so bad. 1630 01:16:27,721 --> 01:16:29,861 Oh, my God! You have to try this, Ezra! 1631 01:16:31,241 --> 01:16:33,140 Come on. I won't take no for an answer. 1632 01:16:34,313 --> 01:16:35,625 Uh-uh. 1633 01:16:38,352 --> 01:16:39,353 You won't regret it. 1634 01:16:43,426 --> 01:16:45,117 ♪ Torn down 1635 01:16:45,221 --> 01:16:46,118 How good is that? 1636 01:16:46,222 --> 01:16:48,327 ♪ Full of aching 1637 01:16:48,431 --> 01:16:49,605 ♪ Somehow 1638 01:16:49,708 --> 01:16:50,882 You okay? 1639 01:16:50,985 --> 01:16:53,436 ♪ Our youth would take the blame ♪ 1640 01:16:53,539 --> 01:16:54,713 ♪ Worn out 1641 01:16:54,817 --> 01:16:56,473 [Grace] Yeah, I mean, nobody uses it. 1642 01:16:56,577 --> 01:16:58,717 [Max] Oh, my God. 1643 01:17:00,374 --> 01:17:02,134 - Here she is! - Oh! 1644 01:17:02,238 --> 01:17:03,204 I gotta lay hands on her. 1645 01:17:03,308 --> 01:17:04,930 - [Grace laughs] - Oh, I'm getting the vibes. 1646 01:17:05,034 --> 01:17:06,552 We did everything in this bucket. 1647 01:17:06,656 --> 01:17:08,727 [laughs] You know what? 1648 01:17:08,831 --> 01:17:10,073 If she starts, take her. 1649 01:17:11,212 --> 01:17:12,489 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 1650 01:17:12,593 --> 01:17:14,215 Okay. Thank you. 1651 01:17:14,664 --> 01:17:17,771 I'll-- I'll get it back to you just as soon all this blows over. 1652 01:17:17,874 --> 01:17:19,635 It's okay. It's gonna be fine, Max. 1653 01:17:20,566 --> 01:17:21,706 It's gonna be fine. 1654 01:17:22,051 --> 01:17:24,122 You just need to stop biting the dog. 1655 01:17:25,261 --> 01:17:26,469 ♪ Climb down 1656 01:17:26,572 --> 01:17:28,678 - What-- what do you mean? - Sixth grade. 1657 01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:31,854 A dog was coming toward us, and you bit the dog. 1658 01:17:31,957 --> 01:17:32,786 Oh! 1659 01:17:32,889 --> 01:17:34,477 - Yeah, well-- - You bit it. 1660 01:17:34,580 --> 01:17:36,237 I was-- I was trying to protect you. 1661 01:17:36,341 --> 01:17:38,274 - Oh, right. Come on! - I was protecting you. 1662 01:17:38,377 --> 01:17:41,553 Come on! I mean, the dog wasn't even gonna bite me or you. 1663 01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:44,556 The poor thing ran off with its tail between its legs. 1664 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,075 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1665 01:17:48,491 --> 01:17:51,218 Listen, not everyone is trying to bite you, Max. 1666 01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:56,326 ♪ Hallowed 1667 01:17:56,706 --> 01:17:58,052 [Ruby] You want to feed him? 1668 01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:01,228 Have you ever ridden one before? 1669 01:18:03,817 --> 01:18:05,370 How would you feel if you left here 1670 01:18:05,473 --> 01:18:07,821 and didn't even pet one of these gorgeous animals? 1671 01:18:07,924 --> 01:18:09,167 Like a loser. 1672 01:18:10,099 --> 01:18:11,169 Okay. 1673 01:18:11,272 --> 01:18:13,930 So, let's start with how to greet a horse. 1674 01:18:14,517 --> 01:18:17,554 You approach a horse from the side so he can see you. 1675 01:18:18,003 --> 01:18:20,868 Then you pat him right here on the side of his face. 1676 01:18:21,420 --> 01:18:25,390 Then you say in the nicest way, "Hello, Bosco." 1677 01:18:29,739 --> 01:18:31,189 Hello, pasture king. 1678 01:18:34,779 --> 01:18:36,884 I bet he likes pastures. 1679 01:18:36,988 --> 01:18:38,506 And he likes you. 1680 01:18:38,610 --> 01:18:39,611 You can tell? 1681 01:18:39,715 --> 01:18:40,854 You bet. 1682 01:18:42,131 --> 01:18:43,684 Just look him in the eye. 1683 01:18:44,547 --> 01:18:47,550 Looking a horse in the eye is like sharing your soul. 1684 01:18:47,653 --> 01:18:49,897 [♪] 1685 01:18:56,145 --> 01:18:57,836 [Ruby] You just made a friend for life. 1686 01:18:57,940 --> 01:19:03,635 ♪ I will carry you always 1687 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:06,155 [Ruby] Uh, Mom, Tom's at the door. 1688 01:19:07,328 --> 01:19:09,365 - [Grace] Ooh! - [Max] Who's Tom? 1689 01:19:09,468 --> 01:19:11,712 - All right, uh, Max, keys are in the car. - Okay. 1690 01:19:11,816 --> 01:19:13,818 Cally, Ridgeway, show him the horse trail. 1691 01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:15,681 - Ruby, take Ezra, go get his bags. - Okay. 1692 01:19:15,785 --> 01:19:17,787 Go. Go! Go! 1693 01:19:17,891 --> 01:19:19,375 Okay, don't forget your dinosaur, okay? 1694 01:19:19,478 --> 01:19:20,928 - [Grace] Go, go. - Hey. 1695 01:19:22,309 --> 01:19:23,241 I'm sorry. 1696 01:19:25,070 --> 01:19:26,485 - [Max sighs] - That's okay. 1697 01:19:36,806 --> 01:19:38,808 [indistinct mumbling] 1698 01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:43,882 - Hey, Tom, what's up? - Sorry to bother you, Grace. 1699 01:19:43,986 --> 01:19:45,056 I got a couple swear 1700 01:19:45,159 --> 01:19:46,367 they gave a father and kid a ride 1701 01:19:46,471 --> 01:19:47,610 and dropped them off here. 1702 01:19:47,713 --> 01:19:49,992 Seems the father kidnapped the kid from New Jersey. 1703 01:19:50,095 --> 01:19:52,615 That's horrible. What can I do? 1704 01:19:53,133 --> 01:19:54,859 I'm sorry. Would you mind if I had a look around? 1705 01:19:54,962 --> 01:19:57,793 - This woman's really upset. - No, not at all. Come on in, Tom. 1706 01:19:57,896 --> 01:19:59,587 - Yeah. - Thanks. It'll just be a minute. 1707 01:20:01,693 --> 01:20:04,800 [engine cranking] 1708 01:20:04,903 --> 01:20:07,181 - [Cally] Hey! Don't flood it! - Okay. [chuckles] 1709 01:20:07,285 --> 01:20:09,701 [engine cranking] 1710 01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:11,599 [engine roars] 1711 01:20:11,703 --> 01:20:13,291 [Ezra] I guess this is it. 1712 01:20:13,394 --> 01:20:14,844 [Ezra exclaims] 1713 01:20:14,948 --> 01:20:16,846 [quietly whimpers] 1714 01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:31,481 All right, you two, get a room! 1715 01:20:33,690 --> 01:20:38,212 "I don't mean to be rude, but that was not as easy as it looked, 1716 01:20:38,316 --> 01:20:41,353 so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me." 1717 01:20:41,767 --> 01:20:42,941 The Princess Bride. 1718 01:20:44,046 --> 01:20:45,185 Kid's a genius. 1719 01:20:45,288 --> 01:20:50,328 [♪] 1720 01:20:58,129 --> 01:20:59,924 [faint horn honking] 1721 01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:01,166 Can we get a horse? 1722 01:21:03,479 --> 01:21:04,549 Dude, we live in Hoboken. 1723 01:21:07,103 --> 01:21:08,587 Yeah. That's what I thought. 1724 01:21:10,693 --> 01:21:14,283 Hey, Ez, you understand why I'm doing this, don't you? 1725 01:21:14,386 --> 01:21:16,561 Of course, you want to be on Jimmy Kimmel. 1726 01:21:16,664 --> 01:21:17,631 Any father would. 1727 01:21:17,734 --> 01:21:19,909 No, no. That's not it. 1728 01:21:20,565 --> 01:21:24,258 I mean, s-sure, but it's more than that. 1729 01:21:24,362 --> 01:21:26,778 You know, um... 1730 01:21:26,882 --> 01:21:29,298 you know how Pop-Pop gave up being a chef 1731 01:21:29,401 --> 01:21:32,266 and then he took that job as a doorman? 1732 01:21:32,922 --> 01:21:34,648 Well, he did that for me. 1733 01:21:37,168 --> 01:21:38,790 That makes no sense. 1734 01:21:39,342 --> 01:21:43,346 Well, that makes perfect sense, actually, buddy. 1735 01:21:43,933 --> 01:21:45,038 Because-- 1736 01:21:46,418 --> 01:21:49,697 because, you know, a dad's job 1737 01:21:49,801 --> 01:21:52,321 is to take his son down the field. 1738 01:21:52,838 --> 01:21:55,496 - What field? - Any field, you know? 1739 01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:56,601 Football field. 1740 01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:58,361 Football causes brain injuries. 1741 01:21:58,465 --> 01:22:01,917 Okay, that's true, but in this case, it's a metaphor, right? 1742 01:22:02,020 --> 01:22:06,162 - Right. - So-- so a dad's gotta-- 1743 01:22:06,266 --> 01:22:07,957 he's gotta go down that field, right? 1744 01:22:08,061 --> 01:22:11,167 And-- and if he gets tackled before he scores-- 1745 01:22:11,271 --> 01:22:14,032 - Game over. - Except that it's not. 1746 01:22:14,136 --> 01:22:15,896 'Cause all that dad wants, right, 1747 01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:21,315 is... is for that kid to pick up the ball where his dad got tackled 1748 01:22:21,419 --> 01:22:23,041 and to take it the rest of the way. 1749 01:22:23,145 --> 01:22:24,456 - Touchdown! - Exactly. 1750 01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:26,700 He's gotta keep going until he scores. 1751 01:22:30,773 --> 01:22:31,670 Anyway... 1752 01:22:34,432 --> 01:22:36,054 that's why I'm going to Kimmel. 1753 01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:43,751 You're a good dad. 1754 01:22:56,833 --> 01:22:59,353 [cars passing in background] 1755 01:23:24,344 --> 01:23:28,555 [yawns] You want some coffee? 1756 01:23:28,658 --> 01:23:29,763 [Stan] Yeah. Love some. 1757 01:23:31,558 --> 01:23:33,560 Why don't you get a table in the House of Pies over there. 1758 01:23:33,663 --> 01:23:36,459 I'll meet you right there. I just wanna fill it up. 1759 01:23:36,735 --> 01:23:38,392 [Jenna] I'll see you inside. 1760 01:23:38,496 --> 01:23:39,566 See you inside. 1761 01:23:39,911 --> 01:23:40,946 What do you wanna drink? 1762 01:23:41,050 --> 01:23:42,741 "Life's a sport, drink it up." 1763 01:23:42,845 --> 01:23:44,226 Okay. What's that code for? 1764 01:23:44,329 --> 01:23:46,607 "Looks like we've got another mystery on our hands." 1765 01:23:46,711 --> 01:23:50,128 I love the quotes, okay, but not for every situation, right? 1766 01:23:50,232 --> 01:23:52,510 This nice lady's got her work to do. 1767 01:23:52,613 --> 01:23:54,029 Iced tea, please. 1768 01:23:55,858 --> 01:23:57,066 My man, Ezra. 1769 01:23:57,170 --> 01:23:59,965 Dropping quotes and flying without a net 1770 01:24:00,069 --> 01:24:02,520 so that he could order himself a-- 1771 01:24:02,623 --> 01:24:04,073 "Iced tea, please." 1772 01:24:04,177 --> 01:24:07,628 [both laughing] 1773 01:24:14,566 --> 01:24:17,638 - Where you going? - Hey, what's going on? 1774 01:24:17,742 --> 01:24:18,950 My name's Ezra. 1775 01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:21,263 And I'm going to tell you all a joke. 1776 01:24:22,471 --> 01:24:24,542 Where do horses go when they're sick? 1777 01:24:25,888 --> 01:24:27,510 To the horsepital! 1778 01:24:30,651 --> 01:24:31,756 Yeah. 1779 01:24:31,859 --> 01:24:34,310 Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! 1780 01:24:36,001 --> 01:24:38,314 Wow. First original joke. 1781 01:24:38,418 --> 01:24:41,006 - I'm proud of you. - New material is not easy. 1782 01:24:41,110 --> 01:24:42,318 [Max chuckles] 1783 01:24:53,881 --> 01:24:57,230 Hey, buddy, I'm gonna go, um, wash my hands, okay? 1784 01:24:57,333 --> 01:24:58,576 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 1785 01:24:58,679 --> 01:24:59,887 Okay. 1786 01:25:01,751 --> 01:25:02,614 To the horsepital. 1787 01:25:04,271 --> 01:25:05,203 To the horsepital. 1788 01:25:05,307 --> 01:25:06,549 What are you doing here? 1789 01:25:06,653 --> 01:25:07,792 Never mind that. Listen, I need to-- 1790 01:25:08,033 --> 01:25:09,414 - How did you find me? - We don't have time for this. 1791 01:25:09,518 --> 01:25:10,933 How did you find me all the way out here? 1792 01:25:11,036 --> 01:25:12,659 We were at the House of Pies. I saw you over there. 1793 01:25:12,762 --> 01:25:14,833 - Who? We who? - Me and Jenna. She's there. 1794 01:25:14,937 --> 01:25:16,697 - It's okay. - Je-- Okay. 1795 01:25:16,801 --> 01:25:19,010 Oh, Pop, you got some balls. Listen to me. 1796 01:25:19,114 --> 01:25:20,494 - Will you shut up? - No, you shut up. 1797 01:25:20,598 --> 01:25:21,978 I'm trying to tell you something. 1798 01:25:22,082 --> 01:25:23,325 You go back to the House of Pies, 1799 01:25:23,428 --> 01:25:24,705 and you never saw me. 1800 01:25:24,809 --> 01:25:26,362 Shut up. I'm trying to tell you something. 1801 01:25:26,466 --> 01:25:27,812 I'm not here to stop you. 1802 01:25:31,747 --> 01:25:34,094 I'm here to apologize. 1803 01:25:34,198 --> 01:25:36,200 - For what? - Well-- Look. 1804 01:25:36,303 --> 01:25:38,547 I'm sorry. 1805 01:25:38,650 --> 01:25:42,171 I-- you know, I-- that's all, I'm sorry. 1806 01:25:42,827 --> 01:25:45,174 What are you talking about? What happened? What? 1807 01:25:46,313 --> 01:25:48,798 Your mother left, and-- 1808 01:25:48,902 --> 01:25:51,456 and I loved her, but I-- I was impossible to live with, 1809 01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:53,493 and I never really told you about any of that, and so, I-- 1810 01:25:53,596 --> 01:25:55,219 - I'm sorry. - What do you mean? 1811 01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:56,875 Mom left because I was a pain in the ass. 1812 01:25:56,979 --> 01:25:59,084 - That's what you told me. - No, I was the pain in the ass. 1813 01:25:59,188 --> 01:26:01,880 It was me. All I ever did was fight. And every fight I ever had 1814 01:26:01,984 --> 01:26:03,641 was against someone I thought had it in for me. 1815 01:26:03,744 --> 01:26:05,574 And those kinds of fights you never really win. 1816 01:26:05,677 --> 01:26:09,302 You just go from one person to another until there's nobody left. 1817 01:26:09,405 --> 01:26:13,168 And then when I wasn't fighting, I was-- 1818 01:26:13,271 --> 01:26:15,480 I was-- I was hiding-- I was hiding 1819 01:26:15,584 --> 01:26:17,689 in restaurant kitchens, boxing gyms. 1820 01:26:17,793 --> 01:26:21,245 I was-- Now I'm hiding holding doors open for strangers. 1821 01:26:21,348 --> 01:26:23,385 I'm-- I'm-- I just-- 1822 01:26:26,353 --> 01:26:28,528 I hid because I didn't know what else to do, I-- 1823 01:26:29,874 --> 01:26:32,394 I didn't know how to do what I see you doing. 1824 01:26:32,497 --> 01:26:33,257 What? 1825 01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:34,396 You're fighting for something 1826 01:26:34,499 --> 01:26:36,260 that means something. 1827 01:26:36,674 --> 01:26:39,504 Maybe it's too much, but you're trying to do the right thing. 1828 01:26:39,608 --> 01:26:41,748 And you're in the fight of your life for your son. 1829 01:26:41,851 --> 01:26:44,129 And if you get arrested, you're gonna get arrested. 1830 01:26:44,233 --> 01:26:46,994 But as far as I'm concerned, you're my heavyweight champion. 1831 01:26:48,927 --> 01:26:50,343 'Cause I had a problem. 1832 01:26:51,102 --> 01:26:53,794 I had a problem with your mother, and I'll never forget. 1833 01:26:56,141 --> 01:26:57,798 I wish that I had done what you did. 1834 01:26:59,559 --> 01:27:01,181 You might have to suffer consequences, 1835 01:27:01,285 --> 01:27:04,598 but it's-- it's worth it 'cause you did it for the right reasons. 1836 01:27:04,702 --> 01:27:07,601 You did it because you love your kid. 1837 01:27:08,844 --> 01:27:12,157 Taking him out of the bed in the middle of the night-- 1838 01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:13,883 - A felony. - No, no, no. 1839 01:27:13,987 --> 01:27:15,402 Took a lot of courage. 1840 01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:18,336 Believe it or not, it might've been the best thing you ever could've done. 1841 01:27:18,440 --> 01:27:22,167 And what you're always worried about, not having a family, you gotta stop that. 1842 01:27:22,271 --> 01:27:25,205 And I'm here, and Ezzie's there, 1843 01:27:25,309 --> 01:27:27,587 and the woman in the House of Pies, well, 1844 01:27:27,690 --> 01:27:29,140 it'll all be all right with her. 1845 01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:32,212 That'll all work itself out eventually, but you gotta know 1846 01:27:32,316 --> 01:27:33,696 that you have a family that loves you 1847 01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:35,698 and that needs you and that cares about you. 1848 01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:38,598 - Now be careful. - Okay. 1849 01:27:39,115 --> 01:27:40,531 - I gotta get back. - Okay. 1850 01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:43,499 Okay. 1851 01:27:43,603 --> 01:27:47,607 [upbeat piano music plays] 1852 01:27:55,718 --> 01:27:58,065 [Max] All right, so you recognize any of these names, buddy? 1853 01:27:58,169 --> 01:27:59,619 [Ezra] Yeah. Sidney Poitier. 1854 01:28:00,551 --> 01:28:03,174 "They call me Mr. Tibbs." 1855 01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:06,488 Of course. Stupid question. My bad. 1856 01:28:06,591 --> 01:28:09,663 "Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." 1857 01:28:09,767 --> 01:28:11,872 - Dorothy is Liza Minelli's mom. - Okay. 1858 01:28:11,976 --> 01:28:13,771 - And that's a fact. - Pick up the pace, okay? 1859 01:28:13,874 --> 01:28:15,980 - Come on. -"Crying? 1860 01:28:16,083 --> 01:28:18,741 There's no crying in baseball!" 1861 01:28:19,190 --> 01:28:21,641 [laughs] Come on. Come on. 1862 01:28:23,643 --> 01:28:26,508 - Is Jimmy here? - He might stop in to say hi. 1863 01:28:26,611 --> 01:28:28,164 Oh, good. My son's a big fan. 1864 01:28:28,268 --> 01:28:29,304 No, I'm not. 1865 01:28:31,029 --> 01:28:32,307 [Stan] Park there. 1866 01:28:32,410 --> 01:28:34,274 - [Jenna] This is handicap. - Yeah. Take the spot. 1867 01:28:34,378 --> 01:28:35,862 - It's handicap. - Take that spot. 1868 01:28:38,727 --> 01:28:40,763 [Lance] Do as much of your set as you want for the soundcheck. 1869 01:28:40,867 --> 01:28:42,869 - How's the mojo today, good? - Good till the last drop. 1870 01:28:42,972 --> 01:28:44,008 - Hey, Max. - Yeah. 1871 01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,250 - See the box? - Uh-huh. 1872 01:28:45,458 --> 01:28:46,666 Don't step outside the box, don't look at Jimmy, 1873 01:28:46,769 --> 01:28:48,046 and do not go over your time. 1874 01:28:48,150 --> 01:28:49,289 - You good? - Jesus. At ease. 1875 01:28:49,393 --> 01:28:50,739 - Batteries in this thing? - I hope so. 1876 01:28:50,842 --> 01:28:52,913 - Ezra, I got a front row seat for you. - Okay. 1877 01:28:53,017 --> 01:28:55,813 Check, check, check. Is that mic down over there? That's it? 1878 01:28:55,916 --> 01:28:58,816 Great. Thanks. How's everybody doing tonight? 1879 01:28:58,919 --> 01:29:01,370 Good? Hello? Ah. 1880 01:29:01,474 --> 01:29:03,648 I gotta stay in the box. Gotta stay in the box. 1881 01:29:03,752 --> 01:29:04,787 Hi there. 1882 01:29:04,891 --> 01:29:07,376 Hi, did Max Bernal arrive with a young boy? 1883 01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:08,929 Both very handsome. 1884 01:29:09,067 --> 01:29:11,553 Just have a way of looking at things through a negative lens. 1885 01:29:11,656 --> 01:29:13,934 Which makes sense, you know, I was a breach baby. 1886 01:29:14,038 --> 01:29:16,765 My dad says I came out with a black eye. 1887 01:29:16,868 --> 01:29:18,732 He says I popped out, and the first thing I said was, 1888 01:29:18,836 --> 01:29:20,562 -"Who thought this was a good idea?" - [laughter] 1889 01:29:20,665 --> 01:29:22,011 It's right through here. 1890 01:29:23,668 --> 01:29:24,842 My son came up to me the other day, 1891 01:29:24,945 --> 01:29:26,947 he said, "Dad, you're an awfulizer." 1892 01:29:27,051 --> 01:29:28,777 I said, "Honey, I don't think "awfulizer" is a word." 1893 01:29:28,880 --> 01:29:30,399 - He says, "Yes, it is." - Yeah! 1894 01:29:30,503 --> 01:29:31,780 There he is, my son. 1895 01:29:31,883 --> 01:29:33,402 I think he might be on to something actually. 1896 01:29:33,506 --> 01:29:34,610 I think I am an awfulizer. 1897 01:29:34,714 --> 01:29:35,922 Because truth be told 1898 01:29:36,025 --> 01:29:38,027 I can take any situation and just... 1899 01:29:38,131 --> 01:29:39,339 make it worse. 1900 01:29:39,443 --> 01:29:41,859 Mr. Bernal. I'm Special Agent Costa. 1901 01:29:41,962 --> 01:29:44,758 FBI. We're here to take you into custody. 1902 01:29:46,277 --> 01:29:48,037 Okay. I-- I can't believe this. 1903 01:29:48,141 --> 01:29:50,246 - Can you not do this in front of my kid? - Hi, Ezra. 1904 01:29:50,350 --> 01:29:51,558 I'm Jessica. 1905 01:29:51,662 --> 01:29:53,111 We're going to take a little walk, all right? 1906 01:29:53,215 --> 01:29:55,666 [Max] I've travelled all the way across the country with my son. 1907 01:29:55,769 --> 01:29:57,322 I understand that you came across the country. 1908 01:29:57,426 --> 01:29:59,152 [indistinct chatter] 1909 01:29:59,255 --> 01:30:00,774 [Max] Ezzie, it's fine. It's fine. 1910 01:30:00,878 --> 01:30:03,536 - [Jessica] Let's go get some ice cream. - [Jenna sighs] Ezzie. 1911 01:30:03,639 --> 01:30:05,330 Your daddy just needs to talk to my friend Joe. 1912 01:30:05,434 --> 01:30:07,367 Everything's fine, Ezra, okay? My-- 1913 01:30:07,471 --> 01:30:09,645 - [Ezra screaming] - Don't touch my kid! 1914 01:30:09,749 --> 01:30:11,716 - Don't touch my son! - [Jenna] He doesn't like to be touched! 1915 01:30:11,820 --> 01:30:13,442 - [Stan] Don't touch him! - It's okay, Ezzie. 1916 01:30:13,546 --> 01:30:14,581 [Ezra moaning] 1917 01:30:14,685 --> 01:30:15,858 It's okay. It's okay. Look, I know. 1918 01:30:15,962 --> 01:30:17,446 I called you myself, and I made a mistake. 1919 01:30:17,550 --> 01:30:19,690 [Stan] It's okay, Ezzie. It's okay. We're all here. 1920 01:30:19,793 --> 01:30:21,554 [Jenna] It's okay. It's okay, Ezzie. 1921 01:30:21,657 --> 01:30:23,314 - Ma'am, I need you to back off. - I need you to back off! 1922 01:30:23,418 --> 01:30:24,798 This is my son. Hi! 1923 01:30:24,902 --> 01:30:28,043 Hey, baby. Ezzie. Hey, buddy. You okay? 1924 01:30:28,146 --> 01:30:30,286 Hi. Hi. 1925 01:30:30,597 --> 01:30:33,738 Ezzie, I missed you. 1926 01:30:34,739 --> 01:30:37,570 Ez? You okay, buddy? 1927 01:30:37,673 --> 01:30:40,124 Did you have a good time? How was the trip? 1928 01:30:43,368 --> 01:30:46,061 - I talked to a horse. - What? 1929 01:30:46,164 --> 01:30:47,994 That's amazing. 1930 01:30:48,097 --> 01:30:49,513 I wish I'd been there. 1931 01:31:03,181 --> 01:31:06,530 I'm sorry, ma'am, but we still need to arrest Mr. Bernal. 1932 01:31:06,633 --> 01:31:08,635 I'm the one who called you. I made a mistake. 1933 01:31:08,739 --> 01:31:11,327 As you can see, my son is fine, so-- 1934 01:31:11,431 --> 01:31:13,398 - We don't have a choice, ma'am. - You do have a choice. 1935 01:31:13,502 --> 01:31:16,540 I am his mother, this is his father, this is his grandfather. 1936 01:31:17,023 --> 01:31:20,958 We are a family, and we are taking him home together. 1937 01:31:21,061 --> 01:31:23,995 So thank you very much. There's no need for any of this anymore. 1938 01:31:24,099 --> 01:31:26,791 - [Jessica] Okay, everybody just stay calm. - Hey, man. It's okay. 1939 01:31:26,895 --> 01:31:28,413 - [agent] You need to calm down. - No, I am calm. 1940 01:31:28,517 --> 01:31:30,139 [overlapping conversation] 1941 01:31:30,243 --> 01:31:31,831 Hey! He's not resisting! 1942 01:31:31,934 --> 01:31:33,971 I'm not resisting. She's not pressing charges, right, Jenna? 1943 01:31:34,074 --> 01:31:36,214 - [Jenna] We're calling off the charges. - [Max] Come on! Stop! 1944 01:31:36,318 --> 01:31:38,044 - [Jenna gasps] - [Ezra] Dad! 1945 01:31:38,562 --> 01:31:40,874 - [microphone feedback] - Get off my dad! 1946 01:31:41,875 --> 01:31:43,532 - [agent] Get off! - [Max] I gotta finish. 1947 01:31:43,636 --> 01:31:46,570 Dad, eyes. Dad! Dad! Eyes. 1948 01:31:46,673 --> 01:31:49,296 It's okay. It's okay. 1949 01:31:49,400 --> 01:31:50,297 You got tackled. 1950 01:31:52,265 --> 01:31:53,646 Give me the ball. 1951 01:32:02,551 --> 01:32:05,658 [Max sobbing] 1952 01:32:09,454 --> 01:32:11,077 [Ezra whispers] Calm down. It's okay. 1953 01:32:12,216 --> 01:32:13,079 [Max] Okay. 1954 01:32:35,066 --> 01:32:37,344 - [Jenna] Okay. Let's go! - [Ezra] Coming. 1955 01:32:37,448 --> 01:32:40,416 [Jenna] Come on, come on, come on. We're gonna be late! Come on! 1956 01:32:41,452 --> 01:32:43,592 Morning. I know you have to deal with this house arrest stuff, 1957 01:32:43,696 --> 01:32:45,421 but would you mind picking him up from school? 1958 01:32:45,525 --> 01:32:46,871 I have an inspection I can't get out of. 1959 01:32:46,975 --> 01:32:49,356 Yeah. Sure. I just have to tell my probation guy. 1960 01:32:49,460 --> 01:32:51,393 Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 1961 01:32:51,496 --> 01:32:53,740 Remember, just don't talk too fast. 1962 01:32:53,844 --> 01:32:55,811 What you did last night was brilliant. 1963 01:32:56,087 --> 01:33:00,609 "For Whom The Bell Tolls. Today, it tolls for me." 1964 01:33:00,713 --> 01:33:02,922 That's gonna be a good presentation. 1965 01:33:03,750 --> 01:33:05,407 - All right, bye-bye. Break a leg. - Come on. 1966 01:33:05,510 --> 01:33:07,167 Let's go before they lock us out. 1967 01:33:08,790 --> 01:33:10,446 - Want me to carry that? - Sure. 1968 01:33:10,964 --> 01:33:13,657 You know, when Hemingway was my age, 1969 01:33:13,760 --> 01:33:17,246 you know what his parents got him for his birthday? 1970 01:33:17,350 --> 01:33:18,558 No, what? 1971 01:33:18,662 --> 01:33:21,665 His dad got him a shotgun, 1972 01:33:21,768 --> 01:33:24,115 and his mom, a violin. 1973 01:33:25,669 --> 01:33:28,568 - Hemingway played the violin? - No. 1974 01:33:29,051 --> 01:33:31,295 Fifty years later, he used that shotgun to-- 1975 01:33:33,642 --> 01:33:34,712 Really? 1976 01:33:35,471 --> 01:33:36,576 Look it up. 1977 01:33:37,025 --> 01:33:38,751 Wow. I did not know that. 1978 01:33:38,854 --> 01:33:40,925 Well, guess who's getting violin lessons. 1979 01:33:41,236 --> 01:33:42,686 [Max chuckles] 1980 01:33:43,410 --> 01:33:46,034 Oh, buddy, I'm so happy you're excited about this school, huh? 1981 01:33:46,137 --> 01:33:48,105 - Finally got it right. - Yeah. 1982 01:33:48,208 --> 01:33:49,382 Mom was right. 1983 01:33:51,004 --> 01:33:52,937 Can't you cover that thing with your sock? 1984 01:33:53,041 --> 01:33:55,181 What? I don't like the way it feels on my skin. 1985 01:33:55,284 --> 01:33:57,493 - Texture thing, you know? - It's blinking. 1986 01:33:57,597 --> 01:33:58,909 - Beep. - Okay. You know what? 1987 01:33:59,012 --> 01:34:00,289 Are you gonna bring it in? 1988 01:34:01,428 --> 01:34:02,326 Fine. 1989 01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:06,986 You can go now. 1990 01:34:07,089 --> 01:34:07,987 Okay. 1991 01:34:16,202 --> 01:34:17,203 Have a good day. 1992 01:34:17,306 --> 01:34:19,377 [uplifting music plays] 1993 01:34:29,008 --> 01:34:31,735 [♪] 1994 01:34:47,440 --> 01:34:50,201 Remember, the last time this guy was here, he got arrested. 1995 01:34:50,305 --> 01:34:51,789 [Guillermo] Oh, wow. 1996 01:34:51,893 --> 01:34:54,102 - Max? - [Max] Jimmy? 1997 01:34:54,205 --> 01:34:56,276 - Hey, man. How you doing? - Man, you look great. 1998 01:34:56,380 --> 01:34:58,278 Great to have you here. This is Guillermo. 1999 01:34:58,382 --> 01:35:00,418 - Hi. Nice to meet you. - Top security guy. 2000 01:35:00,522 --> 01:35:02,766 - How's your son doing? - Ezzie's great, man, yeah. 2001 01:35:02,869 --> 01:35:05,182 He'd be here, but you know, I can't take him out of the state. 2002 01:35:05,285 --> 01:35:08,047 [laughs] Yeah, right. Guess not. Yeah, I guess he can't. 2003 01:35:08,150 --> 01:35:11,775 So, I was telling him, remember the last time Max was here, 2004 01:35:11,878 --> 01:35:14,743 he was almost on the show, but he got arrested. 2005 01:35:14,847 --> 01:35:18,091 He, um, rescued his son from school. 2006 01:35:18,195 --> 01:35:19,679 - Yeah? - That's how I see it. 2007 01:35:19,783 --> 01:35:20,887 - [Jimmy] Yeah. - Yeah. 2008 01:35:20,991 --> 01:35:23,027 But, uh, anyway, it's great to have you here. 2009 01:35:23,131 --> 01:35:24,684 - [toilet flushing] - [Max] Sorry about that. 2010 01:35:24,788 --> 01:35:25,961 I forgot to tell you. 2011 01:35:26,410 --> 01:35:29,378 I gotta bring-- I had to bring my probation officer with me. 2012 01:35:30,828 --> 01:35:33,072 - This is your probation officer? - Yeah. 2013 01:35:33,728 --> 01:35:35,074 Wow. 2014 01:35:35,177 --> 01:35:36,282 [Max] Yeah. 2015 01:35:36,385 --> 01:35:38,215 - He has to stay with you all the time? - Yeah. 2016 01:35:38,318 --> 01:35:40,700 - [Guillermo] He's very cute. - Hey, man. What's up? 2017 01:35:40,804 --> 01:35:42,115 I'll be right here, all right? 2018 01:35:42,219 --> 01:35:44,359 At least he's a good-looking guy. 2019 01:35:44,980 --> 01:35:46,464 - All right, well, break a leg. - [Max] Okay. 2020 01:35:46,568 --> 01:35:49,157 - [Jimmy] Glad you're finally here. - [Guillermo] Safety first. 2021 01:35:49,260 --> 01:35:50,606 - Yeah. Thanks. - Yeah, that's true. 2022 01:35:50,710 --> 01:35:52,436 - I'll see you out there. - Okay. See you. 2023 01:35:52,539 --> 01:35:54,714 ["Ezra" by Rae Isla plays] 2024 01:35:54,818 --> 01:35:57,752 ♪ I remember that shirt you had ♪ 2025 01:35:57,855 --> 01:36:00,789 ♪ Bought the same one So we would match ♪ 2026 01:36:00,893 --> 01:36:03,861 ♪ Snuck into your bedroom Window ♪ 2027 01:36:03,965 --> 01:36:07,002 ♪ Footprints let us go 2028 01:36:07,106 --> 01:36:10,178 ♪ You wear a wig and glasses 2029 01:36:10,281 --> 01:36:13,422 ♪ I smoke and hide the ashes 2030 01:36:13,526 --> 01:36:16,046 ♪ I'll carry you downfield 2031 01:36:16,149 --> 01:36:19,601 ♪ Code only yours to reveal 2032 01:36:19,704 --> 01:36:22,742 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra 2033 01:36:22,846 --> 01:36:25,883 ♪ We'll sing the words To your song ♪ 2034 01:36:25,987 --> 01:36:28,990 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra 2035 01:36:29,093 --> 01:36:32,165 ♪ You don't have to right What's wrong ♪ 2036 01:36:32,269 --> 01:36:35,341 ♪ And in the morning Can't you see ♪ 2037 01:36:35,444 --> 01:36:38,309 ♪ The sun is coming up For you ♪ 2038 01:36:38,413 --> 01:36:41,174 ♪ Your timing's never Too soon ♪ 2039 01:36:41,278 --> 01:36:45,385 ♪ Everybody needs a light 2040 01:36:47,940 --> 01:36:51,529 [whistling] 2041 01:36:57,156 --> 01:37:00,193 ♪ We're dancing in the car 2042 01:37:00,297 --> 01:37:03,610 ♪ We're fighting after dark 2043 01:37:03,714 --> 01:37:06,199 ♪ But when the sun comes up 2044 01:37:06,303 --> 01:37:09,409 ♪ I'm glad to be kids like us 2045 01:37:09,962 --> 01:37:12,896 ♪ I hope you one day You learn ♪ 2046 01:37:12,999 --> 01:37:16,037 ♪ I'm here to ease the burn 2047 01:37:16,140 --> 01:37:18,798 ♪ Growing up never ends 2048 01:37:18,902 --> 01:37:21,628 ♪ But we won't break, We'll bend ♪ 2049 01:37:22,215 --> 01:37:25,460 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra ♪ 2050 01:37:25,563 --> 01:37:28,670 ♪ We'll sing the words To your song ♪ 2051 01:37:28,773 --> 01:37:31,846 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra 2052 01:37:31,949 --> 01:37:35,021 ♪ You don't have to right What's wrong ♪ 2053 01:37:35,125 --> 01:37:38,093 ♪ And in the morning Can't you see ♪ 2054 01:37:38,197 --> 01:37:41,165 ♪ The sun is coming up For you ♪ 2055 01:37:41,269 --> 01:37:43,961 ♪ Your timing's never Too soon ♪ 2056 01:37:44,065 --> 01:37:47,551 ♪ Everybody needs a light 2057 01:37:47,654 --> 01:37:50,450 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra 2058 01:37:50,554 --> 01:37:53,868 ♪ We'll sing the words To your song ♪ 2059 01:37:53,971 --> 01:37:56,560 ♪ So let yourself be Ezra 2060 01:37:56,663 --> 01:38:00,046 ♪ You don't have to right What's wrong ♪ 2061 01:38:00,150 --> 01:38:03,118 ♪ And in the morning Can't you see ♪ 2062 01:38:03,222 --> 01:38:06,156 ♪ The sun is coming up For you ♪ 2063 01:38:06,259 --> 01:38:08,986 ♪ Your timing's never Too soon ♪ 2064 01:38:09,090 --> 01:38:12,507 ♪ Everybody needs 2065 01:38:13,611 --> 01:38:16,511 ♪ A light 2066 01:38:16,614 --> 01:38:21,240 [whistling] 2067 01:38:28,868 --> 01:38:30,663 [song ends] 2068 01:38:33,217 --> 01:38:36,703 [dramatic music plays] 2069 01:41:15,966 --> 01:41:18,175 [music ends]