1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,642 I think there comes a time 4 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:21,146 in all of our lives, no matter what we do. 5 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,314 Well, doctor, lawyer, 6 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,817 homemaker, unemployed, comedian, it really makes no difference. 7 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,653 There comes a time, and I think it's when we get out of school 8 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,282 and begin... well, let's say, begin to work within reality. 9 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:37,328 He's one of the most original thinkers that will... 10 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,165 we've ever seen and will ever see. 11 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,793 We look into ourselves, all of us, and we say, 12 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,129 "How much talent do I really have?" 13 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,297 You know that feeling? 14 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:51,217 I didn't realize someone could be funny that way. 15 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,303 In other words, "Do I really have enough 16 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,472 to get me through an entire life?" 17 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,058 Always something, like, just different. 18 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,894 "Will I become an actual old person 19 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,313 that I see walking on the street now? Me? 20 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,190 And what kind of an old person will I become?" 21 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,358 That's very important. 22 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,235 "Will I be someone who's loved and respected 23 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:13,031 and known to have led an honest, positive kind of life?" 24 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,701 He was the first kind of alternative comic. 25 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,870 We know what talent we're starting out with 26 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,456 and we devise a game plan. 27 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,583 A game plan for living, so to speak. 28 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,710 I don't think there's anybody like him. 29 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,130 Where do I fit into all of this? 30 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,510 My game plan is all off. 31 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,888 Here I am, five years into my career, 32 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,765 I have no more material left. 33 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,979 He was speaking directly to me. 34 00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,398 I could've fooled you to get laughs, 35 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,899 but that's not what it's all about. 36 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,317 I'm trying to be honest with you. 37 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,736 And what, I couldn't resort to cheap tricks? Come on. 38 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,239 I could drop my pants as easy as anyone in the business. 39 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,907 You know what I mean? What? Boom. 40 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,451 Right? Okay. 41 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,413 I can get the comedy shorts from Sears. 42 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,331 I can stop a makeup man in the hall and say, 43 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,417 "Do me a favor. Draw a funny, uh, face on my chest." 44 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,419 You know what I mean? 45 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,462 He was like a... he was like a comedic tornado. 46 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,757 Can I buy a pie? You bet your life I can. 47 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,052 I can break eggs on my head as easily as anyone 48 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,095 in the business. 49 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,346 But that's not what I'm all about. 50 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,265 If I was all about that, I'd go out and get seltzer. 51 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,934 What? I can do this all day. 52 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,894 And put whipped cream all over me. 53 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,773 Because this... 54 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,154 ...this isn't me. It's not the real me. 55 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,740 Doc. 56 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,162 This... 57 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,582 ...is the real me. 58 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:50,670 ♪ (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 59 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,381 I've been a fan of Albert Brooks for a number of years now. 60 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,967 And nobody will argue that he's this country's 61 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,178 fastest-rising young comic performer. 62 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,346 He's different. 63 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,639 He... he has a great sense of the ridiculous 64 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,309 and can satirize just about anything. 65 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:07,145 Albert was a shining God of comedy. 66 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,190 The sharpest, wittiest, funniest. 67 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,109 There's, like, 30 things inside of each joke. 68 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,070 He's the funniest man in the world. 69 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,155 I think of him as the caviar of comedy. 70 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,325 It is about time for a Hollywood reassessment 71 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:23,703 of the gift to moving pictures and television 72 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,829 that Albert Brooks is. 73 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,165 Here is comedian Albert Brooks. 74 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,375 Albert Brooks. 75 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,752 - Our friend, Albert Brooks. - Sir Albert Brooks. 76 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,755 I think he's the funniest man in the world. Albert Brooks. 77 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,675 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 78 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,138 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 79 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,101 ♪ (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 80 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,727 Exactly. See? You'd have known. 81 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,854 You'd have known. It didn't matter to you. 82 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,107 - So, listen, here's the thing. - We're rolling? 83 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,692 Well, of course we are. - All right. 84 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,360 Why wouldn't we be? - All right. 85 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,571 We've been friends for, like, almost 60 years and it's-- 86 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,032 Which is ridiculous in and of itself. 87 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,367 Yeah, it is ridiculous. 88 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,744 But I'm gonna do something to embarrass the hell out of you 89 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:08,206 at the beginning and then we'll go from there. 90 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,042 - M'kay. - I've always looked up to you. 91 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,544 I'm... I'm telling you the truth. 92 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,503 Oh, my God. 93 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,505 I've always looked up to you because to me, 94 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,384 there was nobody that did... did what you could do, 95 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,636 you know, with comedy. I just-- 96 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,639 And I've always been kind of a little bit intimidated. 97 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,307 Oh, well, look at this. But-- 98 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,144 It took-- it took this to finally hear a compliment. 99 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:32,230 Yeah, I'm just telling you. 100 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,690 Jesus Christ. No, I know. 101 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,234 I can't wait till I'm dead. 102 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,362 The idea that Albert and you were friends 103 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,448 in high school, to me, is like some, 104 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,783 superhero origin story type of shit. 105 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:47,370 I remember when, uh, when I first met you... 106 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,039 - Yeah. - ...which was... 107 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,457 - Well, it was in high school. - Yeah. 108 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,751 We were in high school and had drama class together. 109 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,961 And it was a pretty amazing drama class. 110 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,047 There were a lot of sons-of and daughters-of. 111 00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,425 There was Julie Cobb, who was Lee J. Cobb's daughter. 112 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,178 There was Melinda Marx, who was Groucho Marx's daughter. 113 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,263 - Yeah. - There was Larry Bishop, 114 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,931 who was Joey Bishop's son. Yes. 115 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,267 And Richard Dreyfuss was in the thing. 116 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,560 And then you and me... Yeah. 117 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,395 ...were in the show. And I remember you 118 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:16,608 coming up to me and you said, "I know Carl Reiner." 119 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,319 And did you not know that my name was Reiner? 120 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,280 No! When we introduced ourselves in a big class, 121 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,574 I didn't hear your last name. 122 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,911 I came up to you and said, "I know Carl Reiner." 123 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,121 And what'd you say? "Yeah, me too. He's my dad." 124 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,956 "Oh, gee." 125 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,751 Everybody knows or most people know 126 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,836 that your real name is Albert Einstein. 127 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,796 People know that. 128 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,839 I'm surprised how many people don't, 129 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,591 but I used to keep that 130 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,551 because... ...it was, you know, 131 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,345 such a discussion my whole life... 132 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,680 Yeah. Yeah. - ...until I changed it. 133 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,807 I never wanted to have that discussion again. 134 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,518 Right. - But now, as I'm aging out... 135 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,311 ...I don't-- I don't mind it. 136 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,438 - Yeah. Okay. - And there's some free things. 137 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,608 The government sent me two extra COVID tests. 138 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,527 - So it has its-- - There are perks. 139 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,404 It has its positives. - There's perks. 140 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,697 Right. So-- But here's the thing, 141 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,908 your father, Harry Einstein... Mm-hmm. 142 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,910 ...he had four sons. 143 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,537 You have a half-brother... Charles. 144 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,539 ...Charlie, who was a sportswriter. 145 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,165 Mm-hmm. Then he had Cliff 146 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,291 and then Bob. Bob. 147 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,501 And then you. And, yes. 148 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:20,714 So, he had three chances before you were born... 149 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,506 Mm-hmm. 150 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,925 ...to name one of his sons Albert. 151 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,594 He was waiting to see if the theory of relativity 152 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,430 would be proven wrong. 153 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,557 - And once-- - And once I was born, 154 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,392 it looked like it was for real. 155 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,685 It's for real? - Yeah. 156 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,395 He figured, "Okay, it's safe." Yeah, yeah. 157 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,897 So you're the one that gets stuck with that. 158 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,066 Right. He did name my brother "Adolf Hitler" 159 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,901 but they wouldn't put it on the birth certificate. 160 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,194 I see. Yeah. 161 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,238 The stones on those parents 162 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,158 to name their kid "Albert Einstein." 163 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:51,119 Did they just want him to get beaten up for lunch money 164 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,746 for the rest of his life? 165 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,831 It was my mom's doing 166 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,167 'cause she never wasted anything. 167 00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:00,253 She would give you wine that was six years old, 168 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,463 half-opened, 169 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,548 'cause it was good wine. Yeah. 170 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:07,385 "It's vinegar, Mom." "It's very good wine." 171 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,305 So she's not gonna waste Albert Einstein. 172 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,556 They owned it. 173 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,558 She's not gonna waste that. Right. 174 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,352 Welcome, Mr. Carl Reiner. 175 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,770 Well, the greatest thrill 176 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,022 that I've had as a young person 177 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,775 when I was still in high school at that age, 178 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:25,570 your dad was on The Tonight Show in New York 179 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,364 and Johnny said to him, 180 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,407 "Who's the funniest person you know?" 181 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,950 And your dad said, 182 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,954 "A 16-year-old high school kid named Albert Einstein." 183 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,623 Yeah. And, you know, that was 184 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,917 on The Johnny Carson Show. Right, right. 185 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,877 Thanks to my son, Rob, 186 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,880 who was Albert's friend and teenage schoolmate, 187 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,176 I was privileged to be present when he exhibited a talent 188 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,637 we had no idea he possessed. 189 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,472 I know the story about how, like, 190 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,849 when he's young and he did the... 191 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,519 the-- Like, behind the curtain trick with your dad 192 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,604 and all that famous story. Oh, yeah. He was 16. 193 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,107 And out of the blue, you said-- you said, 194 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:07,153 um, "I've been working on this escape artist routine. 195 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,488 I think I've perfected it. 196 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,742 I'm like the best escape artist of all time." 197 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,578 And I think you had-- you had like this or something. 198 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,830 Yeah. A napkin. It was like a-- 199 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,581 I said, "Put it over my hands." A napkin. 200 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,624 "Put it over my hands." 201 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,084 I said, "You don't have to tie it." 202 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,252 All right. That's good enough. 203 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,420 Okay. Yeah. That's good enough. 204 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,546 He says, "I can't get out of--" 205 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,797 "I can't get out of this." 206 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,090 "Can't get out of that." 207 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,300 And then you had me put, or somebody put-- 208 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,969 I stuffed some Kleenex in my mouth. 209 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,971 And the fact that you could breathe out of your nose. 210 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,764 Well, the fact that I could take it out. 211 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,808 Take it out. Yeah. - Nothing was tied. 212 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:40,520 So then, with that, you go behind a curtain. 213 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,896 Yeah. 214 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,481 You say you're gonna get out from behind the curtain... 215 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,524 - Right. - ...with this. 216 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,943 - Yeah. - And it goes on, it goes on 217 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,653 and there's rustling behind the curtain-- 218 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:49,904 - Struggling. - Struggling. 219 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,365 - Yelling for help. - And yelling, "I can't breathe!" 220 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,658 Yeah. -"I can't breathe! 221 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,660 I can't--" And it's like this and struggling. 222 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,372 And my father literally screaming with laughter. 223 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,583 And finally, somebody opens the curtain. 224 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,669 You fall out and you're saying, "Untie me, untie me!" 225 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,921 I not only remember it to this day 226 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:10,258 but say without equivocation, that in my life, 227 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:14,679 there are but a handful of times that I ever laughed as hard. 228 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,184 But at age 16, you could make those people, 229 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,936 those people we looked up to, my dad, Mel, 230 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,022 those kinds of-- You could make them laugh. 231 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,525 And that to me was-- It was like a prodigy. 232 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:31,363 As a kid with my nose pressed up against the glass, 233 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,991 okay, so, I watched television a tad too close to the screen, 234 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:38,411 I so badly wanted to know what he was like as a friend, 235 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:43,541 as a-- as a neighbor, as a pal, as a guy to hang around with. 236 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,669 Now, we shared a house together 237 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,129 for a year or so off Benedict Canyon. 238 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,382 You had an entrance down below, I had an entrance above. 239 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:55,011 We each had our own, uh, phones. We had our own phones. 240 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,972 Anytime I would bring a girl over, 241 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,893 uh, I would, you know, enjoy myself with the girl. 242 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,977 I mean, I... 243 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,479 They would make love and I would-- 244 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,772 - You can say it. - And you would listen! 245 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,023 I just said it. 246 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,858 They would... ...make love... 247 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,902 ...and what's wrong with that? 248 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:14,072 It's natural to... ...make love and-- 249 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,699 It wasn't that we made love, Albert. 250 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,991 It's that when we finished making love, 251 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,410 you used to call me on the telephone 252 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,413 and say, "Are you finished?" 253 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,039 "Would you like to get something to eat?" 254 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,916 - And you wanna know the beauty? - What? 255 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,085 It was always 20 seconds. 256 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,090 I would time it. He's starting. 257 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,260 See how long I could hold my breath. Let's eat. 258 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:38,930 I was a huge comedy fan. 259 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:42,100 I was used to people standing up and... 260 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,103 delivering their bit and... 261 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:49,524 Alan King and all the guys that would do straight stand-up. 262 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,276 And then there's this guy. 263 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,403 And he would come out 264 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,488 and he would do the wildest shit. 265 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,865 Ladies and gentlemen, 266 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,658 would you welcome, please, a new face in an ancient art, 267 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:03,038 the exciting, Albert Brooks. 268 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,040 You had a routine that you did, 269 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,460 which was brilliant, which was a mime. 270 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,296 And you came out in black leotard 271 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:15,550 with the white face and you never stopped talking. 272 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:16,968 I call this piece 273 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,971 "Walking The Dog, Albert Brooks." 274 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,185 Good morning, Poochie. How are you this morning? 275 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,562 You feeling good this morning? 276 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,689 I hope you are, Poochie. It is a lovely day. 277 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,317 I know, isn't it? Let's go upstairs, Poochie. 278 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,694 See, there are no stairs. I create that for you. You see? 279 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,863 We'll go upstairs, Poochie. 280 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,657 Ah, here we are at the-- Oh, good morning, Mrs. Brown. 281 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,493 How are you? Have you seen my dog, Poochie? 282 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,036 He's lovely, isn't he? Yes. 283 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,122 You'd like help with your rope? I'll help you pull the rope. 284 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,667 All right, Mrs. Brown. All right now, Mrs.-- 285 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,669 No rope. I'm just making this mime. 286 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,546 And then I just went 287 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,964 into a bad stand-up. Yeah, yeah. 288 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,299 I'm married now, of course. 289 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,468 And my wife-- Take my wife, please, you know? 290 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,888 Oh, she's wonderful. She's a wonderful lady. 291 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,181 She's on a reducing diet. 292 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,350 Any of you husbands know what that's like, you know? 293 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,226 She come home the other day, 294 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,144 she says, "Honey, I lost 35 pounds." 295 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,522 I said, "Look behind you. You'll find it." 296 00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,774 CONAN O'BRIEN: Albert kind of broke a sound barrier. 297 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,359 I was used to watching television 298 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,527 and seeing funny people. 299 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:19,030 And then suddenly, there's, you know, Chuck Yeager proves 300 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,533 that there's this other place you can go. 301 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,617 There's a sonic boom 302 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,703 and then you're going faster than sound. 303 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,954 Ladies and gentlemen, 304 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,123 I'd like to reaffirm that the art of ventriloquism 305 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,207 is not dead. 306 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:32,544 Would you welcome the very funny Mr. Albert Brooks? 307 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,257 I do remember the ventriloquist bit. 308 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,133 Yeah. 309 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,051 It's kind of an iconic bit now, right? 310 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:43,221 Well, good evening, everybody. Yes, hello, everybody! 311 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:49,227 I'm Dave. And I'm Danny. 312 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,062 You know, Danny, I'm a little nervous being here 313 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,647 on television and everything. 314 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:53,773 Well, why don't you have a cigarette? 315 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,775 That always calms you down. 316 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,943 Well, I just can't have a smoke 317 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:57,944 and leave everybody sitting here. 318 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,154 They might get bored. 319 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,699 I'll sing a song while you have a cigarette. 320 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,076 Great idea. What are you gonna sing? 321 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,287 One of my favorites, "Swanee River." 322 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,455 Great. 323 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,126 He's so good, you can't steal it. 324 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,919 Yeah, I mean like, if you stole it, 325 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,421 you wouldn't know what to do with it. 326 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,547 All right, Danny. 327 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,050 Why don't you have a glass of water? 328 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,719 And so the audience doesn't get bored, I'll sing. 329 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:31,394 ♪ Lady of Spain, I adore you Lady of Spain, I adore you ♪ 330 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,855 ♪ Lady of Spain, I adore you ♪ 331 00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,233 I was doing, you know, 332 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,362 I was doing conceptual pieces. Yes. 333 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,906 I had the world's worst pickpocket. 334 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,115 Have I ever met you before ever? 335 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,825 - No, you haven't. - No? What's your name, please? 336 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,660 - My name's Lou Rawls. - I knew what it was, of course. 337 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,037 - We have your albums over there. - Wonderful. 338 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,455 Wouldn't you know? It's amazing. 339 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,123 Look at-- look at this dress. Isn't he a wonderful dresser? 340 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,958 What, did you-- Do you have this tailor-made or something? 341 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,251 - Yes, I do. - Isn't that wonderful? 342 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,170 You know, I always wanted to have clothes like that. 343 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,297 I never-- I never thought I could get it, of course. 344 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,131 Hey, what-- what? 345 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,633 Wait a minute. Just hold it a second. 346 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,717 - Wait a minute. - Wait a minute! 347 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,637 My first time I ever saw Albert Brooks, 348 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,055 he was an elephant trainer 349 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,932 and the elephant was gonna do all the tricks, 350 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,809 except the elephant got sick 351 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,310 and couldn't come out. 352 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,438 So Albert is going to continue the show 353 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,190 as the elephant trainer with no elephant... 354 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,316 Yeah. - ...in the room. 355 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,151 But he had a frog. - But he had a frog. 356 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,737 I will do my same act 357 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,323 and you people will please use your imagination 358 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,827 and picture the frog as my majestic elephant, Bimbo. 359 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,538 I'll help you along by making a noise 360 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,290 my elephant makes such as... 361 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,168 I thought it was wacky and wonderful. 362 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,587 Now, ladies and gentlemen, my elephant, Bimbo... 363 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,715 ...all right, quiet... 364 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,550 ...will count for you, 365 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,968 will tell you how old he is. 366 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,052 I'll give you a hint. 367 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,679 He's four years old, so you know. 368 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,598 All right, Bimbo. How old are you, boy? 369 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,975 Come on. One... 370 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:56,146 ...two, three, four. 371 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:03,236 Stop, stop! Hold it, hold it! 372 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,239 And it was unlike any kind of comedy I had seen. 373 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:10,035 I will put my face on this and my elephant, Bimbo, 374 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,872 will stand on my head and I trust the elephant. 375 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:19,377 All right, boy? All right, boy? Okay, boy. 376 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:23,840 All right, boy. Ready, boy? Go. 377 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,889 I feel the elephant gave me a wart in my ear. 378 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,390 Have a peanut. 379 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,728 When was the first time you ever saw Albert? 380 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,897 Probably, The Tonight Show. 381 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,982 The Tonight Show? - I think so. Yeah. 382 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,984 If you've seen Albert work, uh... 383 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,570 you still don't know what he does. 384 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:49,866 He's a very inventive young man. Um, and he does-- 385 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,410 He takes premises that he nurtures in his mind 386 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,245 and then he takes them, plays around with them 387 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,122 and it's always fun to see what he's gonna do. 388 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,711 Before I did Carson, I did A hundred variety shows. 389 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,173 Sullivan, Johnny Cash, Helen Reddy, Glen Campbell, 390 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,385 Hollywood Palace, Everly Brothers, Flip Wilson, 391 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,428 - Merv Griffin, all of them. - Yep. Right. 392 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:14,432 So, I came to Carson late, so I didn't have that fear. 393 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,142 I-- I had already been established. 394 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,268 He was happy to see me. 395 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,479 I was happy to see him. Wow. 396 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,858 Not until you do Carson do you realize what that was. 397 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,277 - Everyone you knew saw it. - Watched it, yeah. 398 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,529 - So, your next day... - Right. 399 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,739 ...you pick up your cleaning, "Hey, great bit!" 400 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,782 You go to the market. 401 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,283 "Great bit!" It's like living 402 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,702 in a-- in Carson world. Right. 403 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:37,789 I was gonna take the time that I usually do a spot 404 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:38,873 and show a film. 405 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:41,543 Not comedy but a serious film that I made. 406 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:42,794 It was punk rock, 407 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:43,795 almost, for comedy. 408 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,296 He saw what was going on. 409 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,466 He saw the old Hollywood way. And instead of just saying, 410 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,136 "This is bad. This is corny," he showed them. 411 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:54,723 And I spent my own money, took a film crew, 412 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,141 took me a whole year and made 413 00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,434 The History of the Animal Kingdom 414 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,520 in Two and a Half Minutes. And, uh... 415 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,481 the film is not here. So, uh, I've got this. 416 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:06,192 I got together a few props that I could at the last minute. 417 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,236 This is, uh, 418 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,989 History of the Animal Kingdom in Two and a Half Minutes. 419 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,282 It was exciting. 420 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,452 Didn't feel planned and it was absurdist. 421 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,663 You couldn't believe the nerve of it. 422 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:23,335 ♪ (UP-TEMPO GUITAR PLAYING) ♪ 423 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,348 There was a certain Wallenda aspect. 424 00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,350 I got no more pictures left! 425 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:45,357 ♪ (PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 426 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,614 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 427 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:56,117 Every comedian I know, and to this day, 428 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,203 they won't go on national television 429 00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:01,289 unless they've worked it out through in a club, 430 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,540 they've tried it out many times. 431 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,959 I know. You're the only guy I know 432 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,045 who would go on national television 433 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:10,215 with a routine that you had never tried out 434 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,425 and you would do it for the first time 435 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,178 - on national television. - No, I went in the bathroom, 436 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,640 I would look in the mirror, I would come up with something 437 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,058 and I would go do it. 438 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:25,063 Your brain has to work on such a level 439 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:28,191 to do comedy without trying it out. 440 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,945 Carson was encouraging to do something new every time 441 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,613 because he used to say to me, 442 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,741 "If you don't have to, don't rehearse 443 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,244 because I wanna be surprised." Yeah. 444 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,122 And he's the first dude I ever seen, 445 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,374 uh, at least, make a marijuana joke 446 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,043 and, like, light it up on TV. 447 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,920 And he was sitting next to Johnny Carson. 448 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,422 You know, Johnny, this is my tenth year 449 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,924 on the show and I brought something to celebrate. 450 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:10,442 And he had these elaborate impression, 451 00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,110 uh, kits. 452 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,612 There are certain foods that when they interact 453 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:18,074 with the normal body chemistry, produce the impressions. 454 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,451 We're gonna show you. It's uncanny. 455 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,202 I don't do any of this stuff, so, you know, 456 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,787 maybe it won't work, but it probably will. 457 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:27,208 I mean, it's just really over-the-top stuff that if he 458 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,962 pitched it to you in hi-- you know, your kitchen, 459 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,089 which I'm sure he did many times, 460 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,467 you probably would go... 461 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,969 "That doesn't sound like a real idea." 462 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,973 A hot potato? - A hot potato. 463 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,141 Go on. - All right. 464 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,393 Curly, as you take a little bit of pepper... 465 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,687 a little bit-- You know, Curly, the great Three Stooge? 466 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,523 Hard to do. Not now. Take a pepper. 467 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,983 Put it-- put it like that. 468 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,318 Okay, now... 469 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,904 ...you begin to make a child's train noise. 470 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,198 Whoo! Whoo! 471 00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,158 And with the potato. Whoo! 472 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,379 And I just-- I can remember just watching that going like... 473 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,464 "Who is this man?" 474 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,800 I wanna say something seriously. 475 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,176 Yeah? 476 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:21,429 I'm joking tonight for a little boy 477 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,264 who... 478 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:26,685 ...is very ill in a hospital in Northern California. 479 00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:28,687 I promised him I would get big laughs. 480 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:32,190 If I do, he lives. If I don't, he's gone. 481 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:36,027 He did one routine with, um, 482 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:39,114 that '80s toy, the Speak Spell. 483 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:41,366 I am premiering tonight the second ingredient 484 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:44,285 in the Home Comedy Kit, the electronic dummy. 485 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,705 You don't need to be able to throw your voice. 486 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:48,581 Would you welcome Buddy? 487 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,502 All right. 488 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:56,089 Buddy, say hi to the audience. 489 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,882 I. - All right. 490 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,301 Happy to be here, aren't you, Buddy? 491 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,554 S. - Yes, I know you are. 492 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:03,763 Buddy, do you know where you are? 493 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,265 Look around. Do you know where you are? 494 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:08,560 TV. - Very good, Buddy. Very good. 495 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,563 To me, genius is you have the idea 496 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,898 and then the courage to execute it. 497 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,193 Buddy just got back from Mexico. Did you have a good time, Buddy? 498 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,403 C. - All right. 499 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,240 Buddy has a party to go to later tonight, Johnny, 500 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,533 he's very excited. 501 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,035 He and his girlfriend have been going for two years. 502 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,119 You're gonna exchange gifts, right? 503 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,162 S. - Uh-huh. 504 00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,413 You're gonna give her a car, right? 505 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,748 S. - What are you gonna give her, Buddy? 506 00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:33,543 X-K-E. - Ooh, a Jaguar. Very nice. 507 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,961 What's she gonna give you, Buddy? 508 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,546 VD. - All right. 509 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:42,719 Albert was one of those people that from day one, 510 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,597 we tried to persuade to come and do the show. 511 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:48,183 The thing that appealed to me about Letterman 512 00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,934 and the way he did talk shows 513 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,604 was the thing that appealed to me about Albert, 514 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,814 the way that he did talk shows as a guest. 515 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:59,194 They were both these sort of deconstructionist geniuses. 516 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:00,570 What's happening here? 517 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,614 Uh, this is not what it looks like. 518 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:03,448 Yeah? 519 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:04,783 Let me explain to you something. 520 00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:06,743 I made this movie, Defending Your Life. 521 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:07,577 Right. 522 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:09,579 And it is just so important to me, 523 00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:10,955 that when my publicist said that 524 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:14,209 you don't show clips anymore, I just had to get a clip on. 525 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,585 - Yeah. But you know... - You'd understand that. 526 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,003 ...we show clips all the time. 527 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:21,466 The first time I saw Albert was on David Letterman Show 528 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:23,510 and he had called in to Letterman, 529 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:27,597 or somebody called him? You called him! 530 00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,683 It was you! 531 00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,685 Is he a nice man to talk to on the phone? 532 00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:33,478 Yes. Absolutely. 533 00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:35,855 Nice man to talk to on the phone or off the phone. 534 00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:42,529 Hello? - Albert? 535 00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:43,905 Listen, I'm here with David and he... 536 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:45,949 - Tell him I said hello. - He's-- David says hello. 537 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,953 Yes. I'm on the air with David Letterman. 538 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:51,162 - Yeah. - Yes? 539 00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:52,831 - Yes? - Yeah, he can hear you. 540 00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:56,793 Hello? - Oh, you can't hear him? Hold on a sec. 541 00:22:57,544 --> 00:22:59,504 Hello, Albert. How are you? 542 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:14,436 Yeah. Sure, Albert. Whatever you want. 543 00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:20,066 He's doing his stupid pet trick over the phone? 544 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,697 Maybe we got him at a bad time. 545 00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:27,949 Yeah. What's he doing, Albert? 546 00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:39,044 Hello? Can you hear that? 547 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:40,211 Ladies and gentlemen, 548 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:42,297 I have a wonderful surprise for you. 549 00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:44,341 It's a gentleman who is so uninteresting, 550 00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:46,885 so unintelligent, and so unsuccessful, 551 00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:50,430 you would hardly believe it. Ladies and gentlemen, it's me. 552 00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:51,890 ♪ (PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 553 00:23:51,890 --> 00:23:55,894 Okay, so, Harry Einstein was known as-- 554 00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:57,062 Parkyakarkus. 555 00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:58,438 My name's Parkyakarkus. 556 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:00,565 Parkyakarkus? What are you doing here? 557 00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:03,360 Well, I really meant to join the Foreign Legion to forget, 558 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,070 but I forgot where the Foreign Legion was, 559 00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:06,237 so I wound up here 560 00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:08,073 and now I forgot what I wanted to forget. 561 00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:10,909 He was a comedian. He had his own radio show. 562 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:13,828 Meet Me At Parky's. He was a Greek restaurant owner. 563 00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:15,413 From Hollywood, California, 564 00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:18,667 - Meet Me At Parky's! - ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 565 00:24:27,425 --> 00:24:28,843 I remember going over to your house. 566 00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:31,888 You were very proud of him and you had these old, big, 567 00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:34,724 - like, acetate... - Sixteen-inch records 568 00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:36,768 that contained his radio shows. Yeah. 569 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:38,311 - You played 'em for me. - Yeah. 570 00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:40,438 And I don't know if you can still do it 571 00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:43,942 but he used to do a list of the menu. 572 00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:45,527 The opening of his show, 573 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:49,698 the woman who ran the restaurant, Betty Rhodes, 574 00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:52,867 she was late. So he was there alone, 575 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:56,329 "Oh, my God. I gotta type out the menu myself. What the--" 576 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:59,290 And so, he would do the-- He'd start with the typewriter. 577 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:06,381 "Roast beef. R-U-S-T B-I-F. Doesn't look right. Two Ts." 578 00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:07,799 - You know, he would do that. - Yeah. 579 00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:11,052 And then Betty arrived and said, "What are you doing, Parky?" 580 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:13,847 "Well, I gotta type out the menu. Somebody has to--" 581 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:15,515 "Oh, Parky, you're not gonna do it. 582 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:18,101 Here, just give it to me, give it to me fast. 583 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:21,855 I got a lot to do." "Okay. You want it fast?" 584 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:24,315 Oh, my goodness. I haven't done it in a while. 585 00:25:24,315 --> 00:25:28,570 He'll do it better but he says, "Okay, we're gonna have... 586 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,363 ...sirloin steak and tenderloin steak, 587 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,781 good peas, lamb chop, great big pork chop, 588 00:25:31,781 --> 00:25:33,491 large fried onions, fresh peeled scallions, 589 00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:34,868 french-fried potatoes, lettuce and tomatoes, 590 00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,202 string beans, baked beans, hup beans too..." 591 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,704 Cookeral, hookeral, chicken stew, 592 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:39,247 mackerel, pickerel, haddock, tripe, 593 00:25:39,247 --> 00:25:40,498 lobster, oyster, shrimp or pike, 594 00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:41,833 hot pie, cold pie, soft pie, mud pie, 595 00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:43,209 ickleberry, bloomberry, stroomberry too, 596 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:46,046 stiff cream, whipped cream, plain cream, no cream... 597 00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:47,839 "...squashed-up apple, mustard, custard, 598 00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:50,342 ketchup, chili, salt and pepper, and piccalilli!" 599 00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:56,556 Forty-five cents. 600 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:57,932 It's amazing that you remember. 601 00:25:57,932 --> 00:26:01,770 But that just tells me that you loved him, obviously, 602 00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,480 and you, you know, adored him. 603 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,856 And you always told me the story-- 604 00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:07,359 - How he died? - At the Friars Club. 605 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,693 He had a famous death. 606 00:26:08,693 --> 00:26:10,028 By the time I was born, 607 00:26:10,028 --> 00:26:13,865 he was ill, he had a disorder of the spinal cord. 608 00:26:13,865 --> 00:26:17,702 He had a lot of surgeries. He could barely walk. 609 00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:20,872 And he sort of retired from show business. 610 00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:25,669 But he loved the Friars Club and he was always on the dais. 611 00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:29,130 Well, in 1958, it was a big deal. 612 00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:32,008 They filled up the Beverly Hilton Hotel 613 00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:35,428 and they were letting in Lucy and Desi. 614 00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:37,222 They had never let in a woman. 615 00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:42,435 And it was this gigantic event and everybody was on the dais. 616 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:44,688 Milton Berle and George Jessel 617 00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:47,691 and Art Linkletter was the emcee and Sinatra. 618 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:48,983 Everybody was there. 619 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:53,738 And my dad did ten minutes and I helped him with it. 620 00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:55,490 We had a wire recorder. 621 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:57,617 I would rewind it and then rewind it again. 622 00:26:57,617 --> 00:26:59,035 And then-- and then, you know-- 623 00:26:59,035 --> 00:27:00,912 And he would work on the routine. 624 00:27:00,912 --> 00:27:03,707 He did a routine about the Friars Club, 625 00:27:03,707 --> 00:27:06,042 which was the hit of the show. 626 00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:09,087 The audience just stood up, not because 627 00:27:09,087 --> 00:27:12,173 he was in a wheelchair, because he was funny. 628 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:13,717 And I'm telling you... 629 00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:18,763 ...it knocked the house down. 630 00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,807 - Right. - You don't even hear laughing, 631 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,517 you hear... 632 00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:24,144 That's what-- that's what the Friars Club 633 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:26,771 used to do when they liked something. 634 00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:46,082 ...he must first satisfy us, beyond any question of a doubt 635 00:28:00,305 --> 00:28:06,186 And he finished and went back to the dais and died. 636 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:07,812 Put his head right down 637 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,522 - like that. - Jesus. 638 00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:13,234 They stopped the show as soon as they realized it. 639 00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:17,447 Panicked. "What do we do?" Art Linkletter said, 640 00:28:17,447 --> 00:28:19,491 "Is there a doctor in the house?" 641 00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:21,826 At the Beverly Hilton. 642 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:24,829 Right. Half the audience came on stage. 643 00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,248 They took him backstage, they cut him open, 644 00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:29,167 they shocked him with a lamp cord. 645 00:28:29,167 --> 00:28:30,919 They couldn't bring him back to life. 646 00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:32,962 No. - One of the funny moments 647 00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:35,131 of that is that they were panicking, 648 00:28:35,131 --> 00:28:37,217 trying to see what they could even do, 649 00:28:37,217 --> 00:28:40,637 if they could save the dinner but before it ended, 650 00:28:40,637 --> 00:28:42,681 Tony Martin, who was a big singer 651 00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:45,183 and had a number one hit at the time, 652 00:28:45,183 --> 00:28:46,142 Milton Berle said, 653 00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:48,770 "Get up there! Sing something! Get up there!" 654 00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:51,189 And he went up and he sang his hit, 655 00:28:51,189 --> 00:28:55,527 which was called, "There Will Be No Tomorrow." 656 00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:57,195 Oh, Jesus. 657 00:28:57,195 --> 00:28:59,364 ♪ ("THERE'S NO TOMORROW" BY TONY MARTIN PLAYING) ♪ 658 00:28:59,364 --> 00:29:04,703 ♪ There's no tomorrow ♪ 659 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:06,538 And Milton Berle's going, 660 00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:09,874 "Maybe that's not good advice." 661 00:29:09,874 --> 00:29:12,752 So, everybody laughed. Yeah, yeah. 662 00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:14,546 He was sick my whole life 663 00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:16,381 and I always thought he was dying. 664 00:29:16,381 --> 00:29:19,718 So every time, when I was home alone with him 665 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:23,138 and he called me, I would think, "Uh-oh, uh-oh." 666 00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:26,683 So it really wasn't a surprise because I expected it every day. 667 00:29:26,683 --> 00:29:28,268 Yeah. Yeah. 668 00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:30,729 I would go to sleep with my radio on 669 00:29:30,729 --> 00:29:32,939 and my mother used to turn off my radio. 670 00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:35,483 That was the little thing she did for me. 671 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:36,693 Right. 672 00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,361 And I woke up at 2:00 in the morning 673 00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:40,238 and my radio was on. 674 00:29:40,238 --> 00:29:43,742 - And I said, "Daddy's dead." - Oh, wow. Wow. 675 00:29:43,742 --> 00:29:46,327 And in that case, it was true. Wow. 676 00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:53,084 This is where my dad is. 677 00:29:55,962 --> 00:29:59,341 A lot of famous old show business people here. 678 00:30:01,092 --> 00:30:03,094 Louis B. Mayer. Really? 679 00:30:03,094 --> 00:30:05,221 Jack Warner. Wow. 680 00:30:05,221 --> 00:30:06,931 And then look at this. What? 681 00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:09,100 Right near my dad... Wow. 682 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:11,269 One of the original Three Stooges. 683 00:30:11,269 --> 00:30:12,395 - Wow. - Shemp. 684 00:30:12,395 --> 00:30:14,939 No. Wait a minute. No, no. Curly was the original. 685 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:16,066 No. Shemp. 686 00:30:16,066 --> 00:30:17,942 No, I thought Shemp replaced Curly. 687 00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:19,778 No. Curly replaced Shemp. 688 00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:21,029 Really? - Yeah. Yeah. 689 00:30:21,029 --> 00:30:22,614 I always thought it was the other way around. 690 00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:24,449 No. No. Woo, woo, woo, woo. 691 00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:25,992 Well, "woo, woo, woo" was Curly. 692 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:27,285 - That I know. - It doesn't matter! 693 00:30:27,285 --> 00:30:28,787 - He'd still like it. - He didn't do "woo, woo, woo." 694 00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:29,829 Shemp never did. 695 00:30:29,829 --> 00:30:31,164 - He'd still like it. - All right. 696 00:30:31,164 --> 00:30:33,792 Wow. And look at that. Right there. 697 00:30:33,792 --> 00:30:35,085 "Harry Einstein." 698 00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:37,462 Aw. Here he is. 699 00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:45,637 - I miss him. - Yeah. 700 00:30:47,097 --> 00:30:48,932 I feel I wanna be cremated. 701 00:30:48,932 --> 00:30:50,975 My mother was cremated and she said, 702 00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,144 "Honey, you know, I wanna be cremated." 703 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:55,814 I said, "Of course, I could tell by your cooking." 704 00:30:58,983 --> 00:31:02,112 So, you didn't get to live a long time with your father 705 00:31:02,112 --> 00:31:03,988 but your mom lived to 94. 706 00:31:03,988 --> 00:31:06,950 And what kind of relationship did you have with her? 707 00:31:06,950 --> 00:31:09,828 Well, see my movie, Mother. 708 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:11,329 Mother... Yeah? 709 00:31:11,329 --> 00:31:15,917 - ...the ice cream is colorless. - Look under the protective ice. 710 00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:18,336 The protective ice? 711 00:31:18,336 --> 00:31:21,339 You've actually named the clear hard crap 712 00:31:21,339 --> 00:31:22,632 that sits on the top? 713 00:31:22,632 --> 00:31:26,720 I very much relate to Albert seeking approval from his mom. 714 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,263 But you didn't like the book, right? 715 00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:29,931 You don't think it deserves a sequel? 716 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:32,183 Well, no, honey. I love the book. 717 00:31:32,183 --> 00:31:35,478 But are you sure you wanna bring back all those characters? 718 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:42,360 That is so what a mom would say of just, 719 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,863 "Really? You're gonna do that? You're gonna wear that? 720 00:31:44,863 --> 00:31:47,699 - Really? Okay." - I'll talk to you later. 721 00:31:47,699 --> 00:31:52,120 Honey, I love you. - I know you think you do. 722 00:31:54,205 --> 00:31:56,416 That's not the kindest thing to say 723 00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:59,127 but it does acknowledge that I know you think you do. 724 00:31:59,127 --> 00:32:00,295 Yeah, yeah. - And that's something 725 00:32:00,295 --> 00:32:01,796 and I'll give it credit. Yeah. 726 00:32:01,796 --> 00:32:04,299 'Cause if I tell my mom she doesn't love me-- 727 00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:06,217 Of course she does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 728 00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:09,012 Of course she says she does. Seems insane to her. 729 00:32:09,012 --> 00:32:10,388 But now I know what to say to her. 730 00:32:10,388 --> 00:32:13,224 "I know you think you do. And I love you too, Mom." 731 00:32:13,224 --> 00:32:15,101 How many times were you on Carson or-- 732 00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:16,561 - How many times? - Thirty. 733 00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:17,520 Thirty times? Yeah. 734 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,272 You were always trying to get your mother 735 00:32:19,272 --> 00:32:22,984 to acknowledge the fact that you were killing 736 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:26,571 - on these shows. - The standard conversation, 737 00:32:26,571 --> 00:32:27,655 I would call her. 738 00:32:27,655 --> 00:32:29,407 She wouldn't call me after a show. 739 00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:31,159 If I waited for that phone to ring, 740 00:32:31,159 --> 00:32:34,412 it would be a month later. So I would call her. 741 00:32:34,913 --> 00:32:36,164 "Hi." 742 00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:38,458 "Oh, honey, you're done?" That was the first thing. 743 00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:40,752 "No, we're on the show. Here's Johnny. 744 00:32:40,752 --> 00:32:43,630 Yes, I'm done." 745 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:45,965 "So, uh, what did you think?" 746 00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:52,263 And you know, she went, "Oh, honey, it was-- 747 00:32:52,263 --> 00:32:54,933 What did Johnny think?" Wow. 748 00:32:54,933 --> 00:32:56,059 And that was every-- 749 00:32:56,059 --> 00:32:58,103 And I was gonna call my autobiography 750 00:32:58,103 --> 00:32:59,938 What Did Johnny Think? Wow. 751 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,940 Because that's what-- "What did Johnny think? 752 00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:03,108 What did Johnny think?" 753 00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:07,987 ♪ (CINEMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 754 00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:10,240 And your mother was a singer. 755 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:11,783 My mother was a great singer. 756 00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:14,035 Right. - My mother had a career. 757 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,955 She met my father on a movie set. 758 00:33:16,955 --> 00:33:19,541 New Faces of 1937. 759 00:33:19,541 --> 00:33:21,334 Where is that cheap chiseling grafter? 760 00:33:21,334 --> 00:33:23,044 - Where is he? - There he is. 761 00:33:23,044 --> 00:33:25,088 - Parky, speak to the lady. - Hello. 762 00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:26,548 ♪ We do in gay Paris ♪ 763 00:33:26,548 --> 00:33:29,634 ♪ 'Cause it's gay and it's fun And it's done ♪ 764 00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,428 ♪ Ooh, la, la! ♪ 765 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:32,804 Ooh, la, la. 766 00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:39,102 And she stopped and became a mother, 767 00:33:39,102 --> 00:33:41,396 and would sing at parties. 768 00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:45,483 And it took me a long time to realize that, you know, 769 00:33:45,483 --> 00:33:47,152 maybe she didn't wanna talk about 770 00:33:47,152 --> 00:33:48,987 The Johnny Carson Show too much 771 00:33:48,987 --> 00:33:50,321 because she wanted to be on it... 772 00:33:50,321 --> 00:33:52,032 To be on The Johnny Carson Show. 773 00:33:52,032 --> 00:33:53,992 ...which is a normal feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 774 00:33:53,992 --> 00:33:55,452 You could still love your son 775 00:33:55,452 --> 00:33:56,870 - and still think, "God damn it." - Yeah. Right. 776 00:33:56,870 --> 00:33:59,039 "I can sing better than her." I could be on there, yeah. 777 00:33:59,039 --> 00:34:00,915 You were looking for validation from her 778 00:34:00,915 --> 00:34:03,043 and she was only gonna validate you 779 00:34:03,043 --> 00:34:04,836 if Johnny Carson did. That's right. 780 00:34:04,836 --> 00:34:09,007 And I tell you, the closest my life ever came where that 781 00:34:09,007 --> 00:34:11,301 was an actual shift 782 00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,471 was when I got nominated for an Oscar. 783 00:34:14,471 --> 00:34:18,308 And the nominees are Albert Brooks in Broadcast News. 784 00:34:19,684 --> 00:34:23,521 I took a date, her and her sister. 785 00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:27,525 And that evening was, "Oh, my God!" 786 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:28,443 Because, you know, 787 00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:30,028 it's so crazy there. Yeah, yeah. 788 00:34:30,028 --> 00:34:32,030 So, she had to accept the fact that you-- 789 00:34:32,030 --> 00:34:34,449 Yes. I think she did. I think she did. 790 00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:38,286 But I also think that she had normal feelings of, 791 00:34:38,286 --> 00:34:39,746 "I wonder what I could've done." 792 00:34:39,746 --> 00:34:41,039 Yes, yes. 793 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:42,999 And that's what Mother was about because he discovers 794 00:34:42,999 --> 00:34:45,126 that his mother was a writer. Right. 795 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,336 How much have you written? 796 00:34:46,336 --> 00:34:48,380 Did you ever get anything published? 797 00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:52,092 No. I never published. Your father talked me out of it. 798 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:54,052 Why would he do that? 799 00:34:54,052 --> 00:34:55,470 You know, dear, in those days, 800 00:34:55,470 --> 00:34:59,557 a woman didn't have a career. You know, she just... 801 00:34:59,557 --> 00:35:03,687 Raised children who she hated for ruining her life 802 00:35:03,687 --> 00:35:07,565 and killing her chances of doing the one thing she loved. 803 00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:11,069 Our dads were both comedians 804 00:35:11,069 --> 00:35:12,862 and our mothers were both singers. 805 00:35:12,862 --> 00:35:14,072 My mother was a singer too. 806 00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:17,033 And also parked her career 807 00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:19,202 to raise children and always wanted 808 00:35:19,202 --> 00:35:20,578 to get on stage. 809 00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:25,125 Now, I would notice at parties, the happiest she was 810 00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:27,085 is when somebody would play the piano 811 00:35:27,085 --> 00:35:28,920 - and she would sing. - Right. 812 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:34,092 And you naively think that your parents 813 00:35:34,092 --> 00:35:37,470 or your siblings automatically support you 814 00:35:37,470 --> 00:35:38,930 a hundred percent. Right. 815 00:35:38,930 --> 00:35:44,686 But human beings have qualities like jealousy and being envious. 816 00:35:44,686 --> 00:35:47,105 And it doesn't matter if it's a father or a son. 817 00:35:47,105 --> 00:35:48,398 Right, right, right. - It's like, "Jesus, 818 00:35:48,398 --> 00:35:50,692 I never got to play baseball like that." 819 00:35:50,692 --> 00:35:52,944 -"Good! Good hit!" You know? - Yeah, yeah. 820 00:35:52,944 --> 00:35:54,279 I mean, it's just the brain. 821 00:35:54,279 --> 00:35:56,364 So, your mother is seeing that you're starting 822 00:35:56,364 --> 00:35:58,408 in show business, you're starting to succeed, 823 00:35:58,408 --> 00:36:01,286 and she's a little jealous. She wanted to have-- 824 00:36:01,286 --> 00:36:04,789 I know my mother loved me and I know she was happy for me, 825 00:36:04,789 --> 00:36:07,834 but I knew that I couldn't-- 826 00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:12,130 I didn't talk very much when something great happened 827 00:36:12,130 --> 00:36:13,214 because there was just-- 828 00:36:13,214 --> 00:36:14,549 'Cause you didn't want her to feel-- 829 00:36:14,549 --> 00:36:16,259 Yes. I could feel a limit. Yeah. Yeah. 830 00:36:16,259 --> 00:36:18,595 And I didn't want to-- 831 00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:20,472 I could feel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 832 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:24,809 For the first time, I don't see you as my mother. 833 00:36:26,311 --> 00:36:28,229 I see you as a failure... 834 00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:30,940 and it's wonderful. 835 00:36:32,650 --> 00:36:35,403 I'm a failure and that's wonderful? 836 00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:38,698 All right, honey... 837 00:36:39,783 --> 00:36:42,285 if that's what you need. 838 00:36:42,285 --> 00:36:45,288 The last time I saw my mother alive, 839 00:36:45,288 --> 00:36:46,664 the last thing she says-- 840 00:36:46,664 --> 00:36:48,708 And Bob-- Was Bob there? Bob there. 841 00:36:48,708 --> 00:36:50,669 The brothers were there, coming and going. 842 00:36:50,669 --> 00:36:52,462 Right, right. - It was in her apartment. 843 00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:57,300 And a few days before, there was no more communication. 844 00:36:57,300 --> 00:37:00,261 She was already on morphine but, you know-- 845 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:02,847 Right. - And she was sitting in a chair. 846 00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:08,687 And I looked, and she looked up. I said, "Mom, Mom. Hi." 847 00:37:08,687 --> 00:37:09,646 And she looked up, 848 00:37:09,646 --> 00:37:12,315 and the last words she said to me was... 849 00:37:13,316 --> 00:37:16,403 "You've lost a little weight." 850 00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:17,696 And my brother, Bob, goes, 851 00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:20,156 "I told you she always thought you were fat." 852 00:37:24,119 --> 00:37:25,704 - Right to the end. - To the end, 853 00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:27,455 the last words. Right to the end. 854 00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:29,249 I remember the albums. Yeah. 855 00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:31,418 Right? And those were great. 856 00:37:31,418 --> 00:37:33,044 But they were still like sort of 857 00:37:33,044 --> 00:37:34,838 meta and absurdist. 858 00:37:34,838 --> 00:37:37,674 I made this album, Comedy Minus One. 859 00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:40,135 And that was recorded at the Troubadour. 860 00:38:01,197 --> 00:38:02,574 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 861 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:04,242 But really, for me the big thing 862 00:38:04,242 --> 00:38:06,953 was when A Star is Bought album came out. 863 00:38:06,953 --> 00:38:08,580 I mean, it was life-changing. 864 00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:10,749 And I did that with Harry Shearer. 865 00:38:10,749 --> 00:38:13,126 And that was like a movie, but it was a record. 866 00:38:13,126 --> 00:38:15,628 We did a mock documentary about my life. 867 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,630 This character, "Albert Brooks." 868 00:38:17,630 --> 00:38:20,008 Yeah. - The idea of the album was, uh, 869 00:38:20,008 --> 00:38:24,095 that he's gonna make a cut for every type of radio station 870 00:38:24,095 --> 00:38:26,765 so that the album can't fail because it's gonna appeal 871 00:38:26,765 --> 00:38:29,517 to every different radio demographic. 872 00:38:29,517 --> 00:38:31,227 So, on classical music, 873 00:38:31,227 --> 00:38:34,773 I supposedly found the lost words to "Boléro" 874 00:38:34,773 --> 00:38:36,649 and sang that with a symphony orchestra. 875 00:38:36,649 --> 00:38:38,276 ♪ ("LOVE SONG" BY ALBERT BROOKS PLAYING) ♪ 876 00:38:51,122 --> 00:38:56,503 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 877 00:38:56,503 --> 00:38:59,255 When I made my first album, 878 00:38:59,255 --> 00:39:02,634 I got very cocky and said, "I'm not touring." 879 00:39:02,634 --> 00:39:05,220 And I watched the record just die. 880 00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:07,180 Good night, ladies and gentlemen. 881 00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:09,015 Like a rock band coming out with an album, 882 00:39:09,015 --> 00:39:11,226 - you gotta promote the record... - That's right. And-- 883 00:39:11,226 --> 00:39:12,936 - ...by going on tour. - And I realized this 884 00:39:12,936 --> 00:39:17,065 after a month, it was dead, and I did too little too late. 885 00:39:17,065 --> 00:39:19,943 ♪ (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ I booked these clubs. 886 00:39:19,943 --> 00:39:21,695 And there was a circuit... Right. 887 00:39:21,695 --> 00:39:23,113 ...in the early '70s. Right. 888 00:39:23,113 --> 00:39:27,325 The Bitter End, Troubadour, Paul's Mall, The Cellar Door. 889 00:39:27,325 --> 00:39:28,743 Right. Mr. Kelly's. Mr. Kelly's. 890 00:39:28,743 --> 00:39:32,497 - Right. - And I never loved it. 891 00:39:32,497 --> 00:39:35,500 What happened on the stage at Paul's Mall in... 892 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:36,835 Boston. Yeah. - ...in Boston? 893 00:39:36,835 --> 00:39:38,461 Where you said, "I just can't do this"? 894 00:39:38,461 --> 00:39:39,796 It didn't happen on the stage. 895 00:39:39,796 --> 00:39:42,674 I went back to my hotel in between shows, 896 00:39:42,674 --> 00:39:44,843 and I don't know, it just sort of-- 897 00:39:44,843 --> 00:39:46,636 The world changed. Yeah. 898 00:39:46,636 --> 00:39:49,014 It just sort of-- I had an explosion. 899 00:39:49,014 --> 00:39:50,682 He called me. He said, 900 00:39:50,682 --> 00:39:53,268 "The elephants are moving on the wall 901 00:39:53,268 --> 00:39:56,688 of the wallpaper in my motel." 902 00:39:56,688 --> 00:39:59,149 I said, "So, you should probably come home now. 903 00:39:59,149 --> 00:40:00,775 That's a bad sign." 904 00:40:00,775 --> 00:40:04,029 What I think it was, and I could say this now. 905 00:40:04,029 --> 00:40:06,364 Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I couldn't tell you then. 906 00:40:06,364 --> 00:40:10,618 I think I got so good at not getting close. 907 00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:13,371 As a very little kid, two, three, and four, 908 00:40:13,371 --> 00:40:15,373 I was gonna outsmart God. 909 00:40:15,373 --> 00:40:17,500 I'm not gonna get close to the sky 910 00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:19,377 and then you're just gonna take him. 911 00:40:19,377 --> 00:40:21,671 Uh, I'm smarter than that. 912 00:40:21,671 --> 00:40:25,592 And I learned how to keep distance. 913 00:40:25,592 --> 00:40:28,345 Hmm. And that not getting close, 914 00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:30,722 that being detached from everything, 915 00:40:30,722 --> 00:40:33,933 I almost feel like that was waiting. 916 00:40:34,392 --> 00:40:36,895 "Hello. Excuse me. 917 00:40:36,895 --> 00:40:40,440 Here's 15 years you never dealt with." 918 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,859 - Wow. - And it was all of that at once. 919 00:40:42,859 --> 00:40:46,571 Could it have been the fact that that coincided 920 00:40:46,571 --> 00:40:48,907 with the fact that your father died on stage? 921 00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:49,991 Yes. Yes. 922 00:40:49,991 --> 00:40:52,410 It still plays in my head. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 923 00:40:53,495 --> 00:40:55,080 NBC's Saturday Night. 924 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,582 You were approached by Lorne Michaels 925 00:40:57,582 --> 00:40:59,959 to host Saturday Night Live. Okay, yeah. Yes. 926 00:40:59,959 --> 00:41:00,919 I'll tell you the story. 927 00:41:00,919 --> 00:41:03,797 And this is a true story and I never tell it 928 00:41:03,797 --> 00:41:05,465 because nobody wants to hear it, but-- 929 00:41:05,465 --> 00:41:07,258 - I wanna hear it. - No, I'm just saying. 930 00:41:07,258 --> 00:41:10,720 They called me in 1974. 931 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:13,098 I went to an office with Dick Ebersol 932 00:41:13,098 --> 00:41:14,265 and Lorne Michaels. 933 00:41:14,265 --> 00:41:15,433 Right. And they said, 934 00:41:15,433 --> 00:41:17,435 "We're gonna do an original show." 935 00:41:17,435 --> 00:41:18,645 Fantastic. 936 00:41:18,645 --> 00:41:20,939 "We'd like it to be The Albert Brooks Show." 937 00:41:20,939 --> 00:41:22,148 Wow. 938 00:41:22,148 --> 00:41:24,567 And I said, "You know what? Every show has a regular host. 939 00:41:24,567 --> 00:41:28,321 You should do revolving hosts. That's what I would do." 940 00:41:28,321 --> 00:41:29,280 Right. 941 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,283 Then four months later, they didn't have anybody 942 00:41:32,283 --> 00:41:34,119 and they wanted my name. 943 00:41:34,119 --> 00:41:37,789 At that time, they liked what my name represented, 944 00:41:37,789 --> 00:41:41,084 and they wanted my name, and they said, 945 00:41:41,084 --> 00:41:42,961 "What do you want to do?" 946 00:41:42,961 --> 00:41:47,173 And I had made a short film years earlier for PBS, 947 00:41:47,173 --> 00:41:48,925 The Great American Dream Machine, 948 00:41:48,925 --> 00:41:51,636 where I took an article I wrote in Esquire, 949 00:41:51,636 --> 00:41:55,181 "The Albert Brooks' Famous School for Comedians," 950 00:41:55,181 --> 00:41:56,641 to teach you to be a comedian. 951 00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:57,851 Right. Like a commercial. 952 00:41:57,851 --> 00:41:59,602 "Hello! Do you think you can be funny?" 953 00:41:59,602 --> 00:42:02,856 How many times have you gotten nice laughs at a party? 954 00:42:02,856 --> 00:42:04,983 Had a friend turn to you and say, 955 00:42:04,983 --> 00:42:07,569 "You know something? That was pretty funny. 956 00:42:07,569 --> 00:42:10,405 You should think about being a comedian." 957 00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:12,490 Well, your friend was right. 958 00:42:12,490 --> 00:42:15,702 First today, we'll visit comedy take class. 959 00:42:15,702 --> 00:42:18,538 Here, the students practice all kinds of takes. 960 00:42:18,538 --> 00:42:20,832 The double take, the elbow take. 961 00:42:20,832 --> 00:42:23,251 And today, they're working on the spit take, 962 00:42:23,251 --> 00:42:26,838 made so famous by Danny Thomas on Make Room for Daddy. 963 00:42:26,838 --> 00:42:29,174 Remember when Danny would be drinking coffee, 964 00:42:29,174 --> 00:42:32,886 his agent, Sid, would come in with some surprising news? 965 00:42:32,886 --> 00:42:36,056 Danny would spit the coffee all over Sid and the furniture. 966 00:42:36,056 --> 00:42:38,183 Let's see how these kids are doing. 967 00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:40,977 All right. Now that was pretty good 968 00:42:40,977 --> 00:42:42,979 but I'd like to try it just one more time 969 00:42:42,979 --> 00:42:43,897 in the same way. 970 00:42:43,897 --> 00:42:46,608 Now remember, I just walked into the room. 971 00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:48,109 Now, start to drink. 972 00:42:49,319 --> 00:42:51,654 Good. Now, I speak. 973 00:42:51,654 --> 00:42:53,656 Guess what? I just heard from the bank, 974 00:42:53,656 --> 00:42:55,450 and not only don't you have any money, 975 00:42:55,450 --> 00:42:59,412 but your sister is dead! 976 00:42:59,412 --> 00:43:00,538 That's good. 977 00:43:00,538 --> 00:43:02,165 That's much better, except, again, 978 00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:04,167 Carol, you didn't put the liquid in your mouth 979 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:07,545 and you gargled instead of spit for the fifth straight time. 980 00:43:07,545 --> 00:43:08,797 That was funny. 981 00:43:08,797 --> 00:43:11,675 So, I said, "Let me make short films." 982 00:43:11,675 --> 00:43:15,053 So, they made an agreement. I would make six short films 983 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:17,180 and I would do it from Los Angeles. 984 00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:20,433 He shaped the trajectory of Saturday Night Live 985 00:43:20,433 --> 00:43:22,185 in two ways. 986 00:43:22,185 --> 00:43:24,562 It's because of him that they have guest hosts 987 00:43:24,562 --> 00:43:27,524 every week, and it's because of him 988 00:43:27,524 --> 00:43:29,901 that they have film pieces. 989 00:43:29,901 --> 00:43:31,861 In an unprecedented move 990 00:43:31,861 --> 00:43:33,363 - to ease world tension... - ♪ (CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 991 00:43:33,363 --> 00:43:35,865 ...the country of Israel and the state of Georgia 992 00:43:35,865 --> 00:43:38,410 have agreed to change places. 993 00:43:38,410 --> 00:43:40,704 This is indeed an auspicious occasion 994 00:43:40,704 --> 00:43:42,956 of the 20th century. 995 00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:45,250 And I hope that New Orleans will be easier 996 00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:47,293 to deal with than Cairo. 997 00:43:49,879 --> 00:43:52,716 I know-- I know that my entire state 998 00:43:52,716 --> 00:43:55,468 is looking forward to heat without humidity. 999 00:43:56,886 --> 00:43:58,430 I thought it would be funny 1000 00:43:58,430 --> 00:43:59,806 to dress up as a cow 1001 00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:02,267 and try and purchase an airline ticket. 1002 00:44:11,192 --> 00:44:13,611 Those shorts were mind-blowing to me. 1003 00:44:13,611 --> 00:44:14,946 Yeah, yeah. - Like, they were like, 1004 00:44:14,946 --> 00:44:18,825 the most punk comedy thing I had ever seen at that point. 1005 00:44:18,825 --> 00:44:20,785 This is my favorite part 1006 00:44:20,785 --> 00:44:22,495 of the show because it gives me a chance 1007 00:44:22,495 --> 00:44:24,289 to introduce a film written, directed, 1008 00:44:24,289 --> 00:44:26,750 and starring my best friend, Albert Brooks. 1009 00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:28,460 The show that you were on. 1010 00:44:28,460 --> 00:44:29,961 Yeah, that was the third show. 1011 00:44:29,961 --> 00:44:33,882 He-- I made a film that ran too long for his taste. 1012 00:44:33,882 --> 00:44:35,508 - Yeah. - And Lorne said, 1013 00:44:35,508 --> 00:44:37,218 "Um, we're not running it. It's too long." 1014 00:44:37,218 --> 00:44:41,514 Yeah. - And thank God you hosted... 1015 00:44:41,514 --> 00:44:43,183 Yeah. - ...and you said, 1016 00:44:43,183 --> 00:44:44,768 "I wanna run that." 1017 00:44:44,768 --> 00:44:46,644 So many of us go through life 1018 00:44:46,644 --> 00:44:49,647 doing one thing, wanting to do something else. 1019 00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:51,691 I'm one of those people. I'm a comedian. 1020 00:44:51,691 --> 00:44:52,942 Show business has been good to me. 1021 00:44:52,942 --> 00:44:55,612 But quite frankly, if I had the grades in school, 1022 00:44:55,612 --> 00:44:57,405 I would have become a surgeon. 1023 00:44:57,405 --> 00:45:01,493 Well, on July 22nd of this year, I did something about it. 1024 00:45:01,493 --> 00:45:02,952 I took out the following ad 1025 00:45:02,952 --> 00:45:05,330 in ten of the nation's leading newspapers. 1026 00:45:05,330 --> 00:45:07,791 "I, Albert Brooks, professional entertainer, 1027 00:45:07,791 --> 00:45:09,876 wish to perform open heart surgery, 1028 00:45:09,876 --> 00:45:12,337 coronary bypass operation preferred." 1029 00:45:12,337 --> 00:45:13,421 Here we go. 1030 00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:16,132 No, no, no, no. 1031 00:45:16,132 --> 00:45:18,134 You stay-- Okay. All right. 1032 00:45:18,134 --> 00:45:21,179 I pray it doesn't hurt. I pray it doesn't hurt. 1033 00:45:21,179 --> 00:45:23,014 The hell is going on? - I pray it doesn't hurt. 1034 00:45:23,014 --> 00:45:25,767 Why is he awake? Where is the anesthesiologist? 1035 00:45:25,767 --> 00:45:29,020 I don't know. You're the chief. 1036 00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:32,065 Look, I have been up for a week, 1037 00:45:32,065 --> 00:45:34,401 I have a very bad sore throat. 1038 00:45:34,401 --> 00:45:36,653 - Don't start with me. - He don't feel very well. 1039 00:45:36,653 --> 00:45:38,196 Leave him alone. That's all right. 1040 00:45:38,196 --> 00:45:39,656 You didn't know what show Albert 1041 00:45:39,656 --> 00:45:40,949 would have a film on. Right. 1042 00:45:40,949 --> 00:45:42,784 So, it always felt to me, like, 1043 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:45,537 there was this weird J.D. Salinger comedy guy 1044 00:45:45,537 --> 00:45:47,789 that every once in a while would offer something up, 1045 00:45:47,789 --> 00:45:49,582 and you didn't know when it was gonna come. 1046 00:45:49,582 --> 00:45:50,917 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1047 00:45:50,917 --> 00:45:52,711 Hi, Albert. - You got it? 1048 00:45:52,711 --> 00:45:55,880 Yes. It's new. 1049 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,800 I know that you use to hang out with Steven Spielberg. 1050 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,969 - Yeah. - And he would film you. 1051 00:46:00,969 --> 00:46:03,304 I think he just liked to always run the camera. 1052 00:46:03,304 --> 00:46:05,724 Yeah, but he didn't run it with everybody. He just ran-- 1053 00:46:05,724 --> 00:46:07,350 No, because I was giving him stuff. 1054 00:46:07,350 --> 00:46:08,435 Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 1055 00:46:08,435 --> 00:46:11,104 I started filming Albert in 1973. 1056 00:46:11,104 --> 00:46:14,566 We'd go down, like, Sunset or go up La Cienega 1057 00:46:14,566 --> 00:46:17,027 just so Albert could lean out the window 1058 00:46:17,027 --> 00:46:19,571 and interview people at a red light. 1059 00:46:23,742 --> 00:46:24,951 Aha! 1060 00:46:35,754 --> 00:46:38,340 I mean, in a way, he predated Sacha Baron Cohen. 1061 00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:41,426 What Sacha did with Borat and all of his brilliant work... 1062 00:46:41,426 --> 00:46:43,261 Right. - ...Albert was doing that stuff 1063 00:46:43,261 --> 00:46:45,138 on the streets with my eight-millimeter camera 1064 00:46:45,138 --> 00:46:47,182 in the 1970s. Wow. Wow. 1065 00:46:47,182 --> 00:46:49,100 I can't think of any American filmmaker 1066 00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:51,644 whose movies I more eagerly await. 1067 00:46:51,644 --> 00:46:53,355 Directing my first movie, 1068 00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:56,316 Real Life, which beats Spinal Tap by... 1069 00:46:56,316 --> 00:46:58,985 Which is the first one? - ...five years in mockumentary. 1070 00:46:58,985 --> 00:47:01,988 I've just completed a motion picture so exciting 1071 00:47:01,988 --> 00:47:05,325 that the following announcement will be presented in 3D, 1072 00:47:05,325 --> 00:47:08,828 so you can literally "feel" the excitement. 1073 00:47:08,828 --> 00:47:10,872 Real Life tells the story of what happens 1074 00:47:10,872 --> 00:47:12,290 when a real family's life 1075 00:47:12,290 --> 00:47:14,959 is turned into a major motion picture. 1076 00:47:14,959 --> 00:47:19,631 That family could have been you, or you, or you! 1077 00:47:19,631 --> 00:47:21,007 If you remember some years ago, 1078 00:47:21,007 --> 00:47:22,634 I think it was on PBS, they did it. 1079 00:47:22,634 --> 00:47:23,885 Was it on national television? 1080 00:47:23,885 --> 00:47:25,970 They covered a family called the Loud family. 1081 00:47:25,970 --> 00:47:29,766 The idea was exciting to do because, you know, 1082 00:47:29,766 --> 00:47:32,852 other than the Loud family, no one had sort of 1083 00:47:32,852 --> 00:47:35,146 made fun of this yet. Yeah. 1084 00:47:35,146 --> 00:47:37,107 It was so ahead of the curve. 1085 00:47:37,107 --> 00:47:40,985 Everything he was talking about is what television turned into. 1086 00:47:40,985 --> 00:47:44,447 I saw Real Life and I thought, 1087 00:47:44,447 --> 00:47:47,992 "Oh, you know, this guy's... 1088 00:47:47,992 --> 00:47:50,161 ...he's-- He is really special." 1089 00:47:50,161 --> 00:47:53,123 The moment that we realize that we were gonna 1090 00:47:53,123 --> 00:47:56,001 wanna follow real people and they'd be more interesting 1091 00:47:56,001 --> 00:47:58,586 than fictionalized people... Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1092 00:47:58,586 --> 00:48:01,297 ...Albert satirized that, but he was very aware 1093 00:48:01,297 --> 00:48:03,717 that people will be obsessed with making it 1094 00:48:03,717 --> 00:48:04,843 entertaining enough... 1095 00:48:04,843 --> 00:48:06,219 Right. - ...and that show business 1096 00:48:06,219 --> 00:48:08,138 would ruin it and make it impure. 1097 00:48:08,138 --> 00:48:10,682 Honey, do you think it's safe for you to be eating 1098 00:48:10,682 --> 00:48:12,517 with your heating pad in your lap? 1099 00:48:14,352 --> 00:48:18,023 I have terrible cramps, I am bleeding profusely, 1100 00:48:18,023 --> 00:48:21,943 and I wanna vomit on the table. 1101 00:48:21,943 --> 00:48:23,278 What are you doing? 1102 00:48:23,278 --> 00:48:26,197 No, I just wanna let them know that this is not the way 1103 00:48:26,197 --> 00:48:28,992 we usually talk, especially at the dinner table. 1104 00:48:28,992 --> 00:48:33,830 This actually, uh, had some reflection of society 1105 00:48:33,830 --> 00:48:36,958 that are still relevant today. 1106 00:48:36,958 --> 00:48:40,045 I made an appointment with my gynecologist 1107 00:48:40,045 --> 00:48:42,714 for a quarter to 10:00 tomorrow morning. 1108 00:48:42,714 --> 00:48:45,467 And if you want to, you and the crew 1109 00:48:45,467 --> 00:48:47,302 can feel free to join me. 1110 00:48:48,053 --> 00:48:50,305 Film the gynecologist? 1111 00:48:50,305 --> 00:48:54,184 It became, for me, the test movie for-- 1112 00:48:54,184 --> 00:48:56,269 If I was dating a girl, it'd be like, 1113 00:48:56,269 --> 00:48:58,313 "Let's watch Real Life." 1114 00:48:58,313 --> 00:49:00,523 - What are these? - These are cameras. 1115 00:49:00,523 --> 00:49:03,151 Oh, no. Oh, God damn it. 1116 00:49:03,151 --> 00:49:04,986 What's going on here? I was clear. 1117 00:49:04,986 --> 00:49:06,279 Now, come on. Get out of here, you! 1118 00:49:06,279 --> 00:49:07,739 Wait, wait, wait! I don't need you here. 1119 00:49:07,739 --> 00:49:09,908 This is a big motion picture. I'm Albert Brooks. How are you? 1120 00:49:09,908 --> 00:49:11,326 I don't care who the hell you are. 1121 00:49:11,326 --> 00:49:13,078 Talk to my lawyer. I was cleared. 1122 00:49:13,078 --> 00:49:14,245 Get out. Out, out! 1123 00:49:14,245 --> 00:49:15,580 Dr. Rennert, these people are with me. 1124 00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:17,374 They're filming my life. Mrs. Yeager, I'm sorry 1125 00:49:17,374 --> 00:49:18,917 but I've had some bad experiences 1126 00:49:18,917 --> 00:49:20,919 with the 60 Minutes people. No, no. 1127 00:49:20,919 --> 00:49:22,337 Huh... 1128 00:49:22,337 --> 00:49:26,716 There's four of us here, okay? He wants an abortion, all right? 1129 00:49:26,716 --> 00:49:28,301 Two. Make it two. 1130 00:49:28,301 --> 00:49:31,262 I'll take a hysterectomy. She'll have the same. 1131 00:49:31,262 --> 00:49:34,432 How about this for parking? You think 500 might do it? 1132 00:49:34,432 --> 00:49:37,936 I just wanna film her life. Please, don't make trouble. 1133 00:49:37,936 --> 00:49:40,980 Oh, my God. Maxwell Rennert, the baby broker. 1134 00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:43,274 - Oh, God damn it! Come on. - Oh, I can't believe it. 1135 00:49:43,274 --> 00:49:45,944 Was it tough to get that made? 1136 00:49:45,944 --> 00:49:48,947 I have found nothing easy to get made. 1137 00:49:48,947 --> 00:49:51,533 Getting made was the hard part of the life. 1138 00:49:51,533 --> 00:49:53,535 I was dating Linda Ronstadt. 1139 00:49:53,535 --> 00:49:56,079 One of her managers, he had a cousin, 1140 00:49:56,079 --> 00:49:58,915 who at the time owned the Chicago Bulls. 1141 00:49:58,915 --> 00:50:01,710 - Okay. - I sat in a steam room with him, 1142 00:50:01,710 --> 00:50:03,586 and pitched this thing. 1143 00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:04,921 And he said to me, 1144 00:50:04,921 --> 00:50:06,631 "I'll give you half a million dollars. 1145 00:50:06,631 --> 00:50:10,218 You have to take a letter of credit out at a bank 1146 00:50:10,218 --> 00:50:13,138 and anything over is yours." 1147 00:50:13,138 --> 00:50:14,472 That you have to pay for? 1148 00:50:14,472 --> 00:50:15,849 I have to pay for. - Right. 1149 00:50:15,849 --> 00:50:17,934 And it made every moment tense. 1150 00:50:19,227 --> 00:50:21,312 But I wanna take this opportunity, Rob. 1151 00:50:21,312 --> 00:50:24,357 The man in Chicago, he keeps calling me and saying, 1152 00:50:24,357 --> 00:50:26,526 "Well, I-- I don't care if the picture makes money, 1153 00:50:26,526 --> 00:50:28,153 I just don't want you to go over budget. 1154 00:50:28,153 --> 00:50:29,988 I don't want a call in the middle of the night 1155 00:50:29,988 --> 00:50:31,364 saying, 'I need more money. I need more money. 1156 00:50:31,364 --> 00:50:32,615 I need more money.'" They're worried? 1157 00:50:32,615 --> 00:50:34,159 - They're worried about it? - Yeah. They're worried. 1158 00:50:34,159 --> 00:50:35,702 Taking a chance with a first-time director? 1159 00:50:35,702 --> 00:50:37,162 Yeah, but I mean, I'm a nice guy. 1160 00:50:37,162 --> 00:50:38,329 I'm not gonna spend his money. 1161 00:50:38,329 --> 00:50:40,290 So, I thought maybe I could swear to God 1162 00:50:40,290 --> 00:50:41,583 to him on television. Go ahead. 1163 00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:43,335 Would that be all right? Go ahead. Go ahead. 1164 00:50:43,335 --> 00:50:45,670 Can I get a-- Okay. Yeah, give him a close-up. 1165 00:50:45,670 --> 00:50:47,380 Mr. Culver is the name. 1166 00:50:47,380 --> 00:50:50,759 I, Albert Brooks, swear to God I won't go over budget. 1167 00:50:52,052 --> 00:50:55,180 If I do, I will pay every penny out of my own pocket, 1168 00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:58,058 or Rob and Penny will pay for it. 1169 00:50:58,058 --> 00:51:00,226 Real Life was made independently, 1170 00:51:00,226 --> 00:51:02,729 and Paramount Pictures bought it. 1171 00:51:02,729 --> 00:51:04,314 This was my introduction. 1172 00:51:04,314 --> 00:51:06,274 It was like a Broadway show. Right, right. 1173 00:51:06,274 --> 00:51:09,694 And I get a call that said, "We're rethinking this. 1174 00:51:09,694 --> 00:51:15,033 We're not gonna go to New York. Let's not do the critics now. 1175 00:51:15,033 --> 00:51:21,373 Let's open in Honolulu, in Dallas, and New Orleans." 1176 00:51:21,373 --> 00:51:25,251 I said, "I'm gonna do better with critics than I'm gonna do 1177 00:51:25,251 --> 00:51:27,545 with people in Honolulu." Right, right. 1178 00:51:27,545 --> 00:51:30,298 If you pull it out of the critics' screenings, 1179 00:51:30,298 --> 00:51:31,549 it says to the critics, 1180 00:51:31,549 --> 00:51:33,677 the film is flawed. Right, right. 1181 00:51:33,677 --> 00:51:35,053 And I said, 1182 00:51:35,053 --> 00:51:39,057 "If you do this, I won't do one show, 1183 00:51:39,057 --> 00:51:41,893 and if I talk to any press, I will tell them 1184 00:51:41,893 --> 00:51:43,395 that you've ruined my life." 1185 00:51:43,395 --> 00:51:47,190 And they said, "Well, let us call you back in 15 minutes." 1186 00:51:47,190 --> 00:51:49,943 Thank God that for whatever threat, it worked. 1187 00:51:49,943 --> 00:51:53,738 And you know, I got the reviews that started my career. 1188 00:51:53,738 --> 00:51:55,907 Yes. If that didn't happen, 1189 00:51:55,907 --> 00:51:57,617 I don't know where I'd be. 1190 00:51:57,617 --> 00:52:00,495 So, you mentioned Harry Shearer, that you worked 1191 00:52:00,495 --> 00:52:03,248 - on A Star Is Bought. - And Real Life, 1192 00:52:03,248 --> 00:52:04,416 - Harry, worked. Yeah. - And Real Life. 1193 00:52:04,416 --> 00:52:05,625 He was one of the writers. Yeah. 1194 00:52:05,625 --> 00:52:07,961 Along with Monica Johnson. Yes. 1195 00:52:07,961 --> 00:52:09,504 You worked with Monica... 1196 00:52:09,504 --> 00:52:10,630 - On many pictures. - ...on other pictures. 1197 00:52:10,630 --> 00:52:12,590 Tell me about your relationship with Monica. 1198 00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:13,591 Well, Monica was great. 1199 00:52:13,591 --> 00:52:17,345 Monica understood the Albert Brooks character 1200 00:52:17,345 --> 00:52:20,640 like nobody else. She was so funny. 1201 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:24,102 I wanted to be in a room or in a car with her 1202 00:52:24,102 --> 00:52:25,478 because back and forth, 1203 00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:27,689 I think it made me better. Right. 1204 00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:30,066 She got everything. And then she could 1205 00:52:30,066 --> 00:52:31,901 throw out a line... Yeah, yeah. 1206 00:52:31,901 --> 00:52:34,029 ...and you know, just something really-- 1207 00:52:34,029 --> 00:52:35,447 She-- she got it. 1208 00:52:35,447 --> 00:52:38,366 I became aware of Albert on The Tonight Show. 1209 00:52:38,366 --> 00:52:42,245 I became obsessed with Albert with Modern Romance. 1210 00:52:42,245 --> 00:52:48,501 - Modern Romance. - Modern Romance. 1211 00:52:48,501 --> 00:52:50,170 It's my life. 1212 00:52:50,170 --> 00:52:52,088 God, there's something wrong with you. 1213 00:52:52,088 --> 00:52:53,882 No, there isn't. I'm in love. 1214 00:52:53,882 --> 00:52:55,258 - That's not it. - Yes. 1215 00:52:55,258 --> 00:52:57,927 - No. - Yes, I'm in love. I love you. 1216 00:53:00,638 --> 00:53:03,391 I called the number, okay? A guy answered. 1217 00:53:03,391 --> 00:53:06,019 Obviously, a guy isn't your brother's girlfriend. 1218 00:53:06,019 --> 00:53:08,271 So, who is he? You slept with him? Twice? 1219 00:53:08,271 --> 00:53:11,232 - I'm going home. - I've been this guy. 1220 00:53:11,232 --> 00:53:13,568 I've been this guy a lot of times. 1221 00:53:13,568 --> 00:53:18,031 I'm, you know, much older now. I can still be that guy. 1222 00:53:18,031 --> 00:53:23,995 Modern Romance was, you know, me willing to look completely 1223 00:53:23,995 --> 00:53:27,832 like a psychopath and how jealousy works. 1224 00:53:27,832 --> 00:53:30,418 I don't think that we should go out anymore. 1225 00:53:30,418 --> 00:53:32,671 I mean, I just think it's over. 1226 00:53:32,671 --> 00:53:34,381 You've heard of a no-win situation, 1227 00:53:34,381 --> 00:53:36,800 - haven't you? - No. 1228 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:40,428 No? Really no? You've never heard of one? 1229 00:53:40,428 --> 00:53:44,057 Vietnam, this? I'm telling you, they're around. 1230 00:53:44,057 --> 00:53:45,392 I think we're in one of them. 1231 00:53:45,392 --> 00:53:47,727 So, the jealousy, all of that feeling of jealousy, 1232 00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:49,270 that was just something... That's-- 1233 00:53:49,270 --> 00:53:50,438 ...you felt, but you didn't-- 1234 00:53:50,438 --> 00:53:53,108 I felt and it was weird, and I wanted to show it. 1235 00:53:53,108 --> 00:53:54,401 Yeah. 1236 00:53:54,401 --> 00:53:55,985 Look, you two didn't get along. You said it yourself, 1237 00:53:55,985 --> 00:53:57,195 all you ever did was fight. 1238 00:53:57,195 --> 00:53:59,030 You're right. Thank you. Thank you. 1239 00:53:59,030 --> 00:54:00,115 That's all we ever did. 1240 00:54:00,115 --> 00:54:01,533 I'm telling you, we fought and fought 1241 00:54:01,533 --> 00:54:04,244 and then we had great sex. 1242 00:54:04,244 --> 00:54:05,954 We never really could talk. 1243 00:54:06,996 --> 00:54:08,164 Do you need to talk? 1244 00:54:08,164 --> 00:54:11,042 The whole thing made me so uncomfortable 1245 00:54:11,042 --> 00:54:13,294 because I was at the time, 1246 00:54:13,294 --> 00:54:15,547 in a very unpleasant relationship. 1247 00:54:15,547 --> 00:54:17,382 And I thought, "Well, this is admirable." 1248 00:54:17,382 --> 00:54:22,137 If you can go and do a movie and it makes you feel... 1249 00:54:22,137 --> 00:54:24,389 it magnifies what you're feeling already. 1250 00:54:24,389 --> 00:54:25,974 The head of Columbia said, 1251 00:54:25,974 --> 00:54:28,435 "You have to add a psychiatrist scene 1252 00:54:28,435 --> 00:54:30,103 and explain this behavior." 1253 00:54:30,103 --> 00:54:31,813 - Right. Right. -"And if you don't add 1254 00:54:31,813 --> 00:54:35,358 a psychiatrist scene, you won't have a second week," 1255 00:54:35,358 --> 00:54:38,194 which basically meant, we're not gonna advertise. 1256 00:54:38,194 --> 00:54:40,530 Wow. Wow. - And Stanley Kubrick called me. 1257 00:54:40,530 --> 00:54:43,158 And he said, "You're blaming yourself. 1258 00:54:43,158 --> 00:54:44,576 It's not your fault. 1259 00:54:44,576 --> 00:54:46,828 Studios make a decision of whether a movie 1260 00:54:46,828 --> 00:54:49,622 is gonna be a hit. It's their decision. 1261 00:54:49,622 --> 00:54:53,710 I've watched your movie play in front of 25 people. 1262 00:54:53,710 --> 00:54:54,753 It's killer." 1263 00:54:54,753 --> 00:54:57,630 And then he said, "How did you do this?" 1264 00:54:57,630 --> 00:55:00,508 "This is the jealousy movie I've always wanted to make." 1265 00:55:00,508 --> 00:55:03,553 And I'm going, "Hello. How did I do it? 1266 00:55:03,553 --> 00:55:06,890 How did the guy walk upside down in 2001?" 1267 00:55:08,099 --> 00:55:12,062 "You tell me and I'll tell you how I screwed up the girl." 1268 00:55:13,438 --> 00:55:15,648 The roller coaster ride of Modern Romance, 1269 00:55:15,648 --> 00:55:18,193 that really always connected with me. It just-- 1270 00:55:18,193 --> 00:55:19,319 Wow. 1271 00:55:19,319 --> 00:55:21,237 I'm still looking for my Albert Brooks. 1272 00:55:21,237 --> 00:55:26,368 And to America, look out, here we come! 1273 00:55:28,286 --> 00:55:31,623 ♪ ("BORN TO BE WILD" BY STEPPENWOLF PLAYING) ♪ 1274 00:55:34,501 --> 00:55:35,627 ♪ Get your motor runnin'... ♪ 1275 00:55:35,627 --> 00:55:38,296 The Jupiter with all the gravitational pull 1276 00:55:38,296 --> 00:55:39,923 is, for me, Lost in America. 1277 00:55:41,132 --> 00:55:43,385 ♪ Racing with the wind... ♪ 1278 00:55:43,385 --> 00:55:46,179 What was the inspiration for Lost in America? 1279 00:55:46,179 --> 00:55:49,265 People who make gigantic decisions 1280 00:55:49,265 --> 00:55:50,934 and are wrong. 1281 00:55:50,934 --> 00:55:53,353 This is what we talked about when we were 19. 1282 00:55:53,353 --> 00:55:55,271 Remember? We kept saying, "Let's find ourselves." 1283 00:55:55,271 --> 00:55:56,356 But we didn't have a dollar 1284 00:55:56,356 --> 00:55:58,191 so we watched television instead. 1285 00:55:58,191 --> 00:55:59,818 I mean, we can drop out 1286 00:55:59,818 --> 00:56:02,278 and we can still have our nest egg. 1287 00:56:02,278 --> 00:56:04,322 So, these people really did everything. 1288 00:56:04,322 --> 00:56:05,615 They sold their house. 1289 00:56:05,615 --> 00:56:07,951 They-- they, you know, made the unfortunate mistake 1290 00:56:07,951 --> 00:56:09,244 of stopping in Vegas 1291 00:56:09,244 --> 00:56:10,620 and then it was done. Yeah. 1292 00:56:10,620 --> 00:56:13,123 ♪ (SWING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1293 00:56:15,458 --> 00:56:17,585 - We're up! We're up! - No. We're still down. 1294 00:56:17,585 --> 00:56:19,379 - How down? How down? - Down. Twenty-two down. 1295 00:56:19,379 --> 00:56:21,172 - Twenty-two. - How down is she? 1296 00:56:21,172 --> 00:56:22,340 Down. 1297 00:56:22,340 --> 00:56:24,342 - Come on! Twenty-two! - How down are you? 1298 00:56:24,342 --> 00:56:25,719 - Down, down! - How much have you lost? 1299 00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:27,178 - Everything! - What does that mean? 1300 00:56:27,178 --> 00:56:28,263 - Everything! - What do you mean? 1301 00:56:28,263 --> 00:56:29,389 - Everything on 22... - What do you mean? 1302 00:56:29,389 --> 00:56:30,557 What is happening? What are you doing? 1303 00:56:30,557 --> 00:56:32,058 ...and make it happen for me. 1304 00:56:32,058 --> 00:56:33,643 How much is left of the nest egg? 1305 00:56:33,643 --> 00:56:37,522 Nothing. Well, give-- give or take, 1,000. 1306 00:56:38,356 --> 00:56:41,234 - Give or take 1,000? - Yeah. 1307 00:56:42,694 --> 00:56:45,947 As the boldest experiment in advertising history, 1308 00:56:45,947 --> 00:56:49,492 - you give us our money back. - I beg your pardon? 1309 00:56:49,492 --> 00:56:52,037 - I understood the nest egg-- - Please do me a favor. 1310 00:56:52,037 --> 00:56:54,372 Don't use the word. You may not use that word. 1311 00:56:54,372 --> 00:56:55,999 It's off limits to you. 1312 00:56:55,999 --> 00:56:58,084 Only those in this house who understand nest egg, 1313 00:56:58,084 --> 00:57:00,545 may use it. And don't use any part of it either. 1314 00:57:00,545 --> 00:57:02,464 Don't use "nest," don't use "egg." 1315 00:57:02,464 --> 00:57:03,840 If you're out in the forest, you can point, 1316 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,551 that bird lives in a "round stick." 1317 00:57:06,551 --> 00:57:10,221 And-- and-- and you have "things" over-easy with toast. 1318 00:57:10,221 --> 00:57:12,557 It also spoke to the stuff 1319 00:57:12,557 --> 00:57:13,767 that we all go through 1320 00:57:13,767 --> 00:57:15,852 when we have to find ourselves. Right. 1321 00:57:15,852 --> 00:57:18,980 So, the movie is really a story about his search 1322 00:57:18,980 --> 00:57:24,986 for who he is as a man and also as a husband. 1323 00:57:24,986 --> 00:57:28,615 ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1324 00:57:34,037 --> 00:57:35,288 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1325 00:57:35,288 --> 00:57:38,833 Good afternoon and welcome to Judgment City. 1326 00:57:38,833 --> 00:57:40,919 You've just had quite the little journey, so for now, 1327 00:57:40,919 --> 00:57:44,089 relax and enjoy the ride. What made you think about 1328 00:57:44,089 --> 00:57:47,676 afterlife and those ideas? How'd you come up with that? 1329 00:57:47,676 --> 00:57:50,804 Well, one of the things when your father exits early, 1330 00:57:50,804 --> 00:57:52,389 you wonder, "Where does he go 1331 00:57:52,389 --> 00:57:53,640 and what's going on here?" Yeah. 1332 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,768 Well, in a nutshell, you're here to defend your life. 1333 00:57:57,143 --> 00:57:58,436 Defend my life? 1334 00:57:58,436 --> 00:58:02,148 I didn't like movies about Heaven. 1335 00:58:02,148 --> 00:58:03,775 I don't like the clouds. 1336 00:58:03,775 --> 00:58:05,110 Right. - I don't like the harps. 1337 00:58:05,110 --> 00:58:08,697 I don't-- And-- And this movie has no religion. 1338 00:58:08,697 --> 00:58:09,614 No. 1339 00:58:09,614 --> 00:58:12,617 So, what this movie is really about is fear, 1340 00:58:12,617 --> 00:58:15,787 which, you know, I've dealt with my whole life. 1341 00:58:15,787 --> 00:58:19,874 And so, if you could live a life without fear, 1342 00:58:19,874 --> 00:58:22,919 then you would be able to move on. And that the fear 1343 00:58:22,919 --> 00:58:24,337 - is what's holding you back. - That's right. 1344 00:58:24,337 --> 00:58:27,132 There are multiple movies on this topic, 1345 00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:29,801 from, like, the '40s and on. 1346 00:58:29,801 --> 00:58:32,095 "You die. You're suspended. Where are you going? 1347 00:58:32,095 --> 00:58:33,555 You're going to Heaven. Is there a Heaven? 1348 00:58:33,555 --> 00:58:35,598 Is there a God? Is there an afterlife?" 1349 00:58:35,598 --> 00:58:36,975 To me, Defending Your Life 1350 00:58:36,975 --> 00:58:39,561 is the finest piece of work on that topic. 1351 00:58:39,561 --> 00:58:41,479 Look what I found? - Come on. Give me that. 1352 00:58:41,479 --> 00:58:42,522 Make me. 1353 00:58:44,733 --> 00:58:46,067 Wow. 1354 00:58:46,067 --> 00:58:48,486 Come on, chicken. 1355 00:58:48,486 --> 00:58:52,073 You stick up for yourself, low-life chicken. 1356 00:58:52,073 --> 00:58:54,659 You see, every second of every lifetime 1357 00:58:54,659 --> 00:58:56,578 is always recorded. 1358 00:58:56,578 --> 00:58:59,539 And as each one ends, we sort of look at it. 1359 00:58:59,539 --> 00:59:02,751 Look at a few of the days, examine it, 1360 00:59:02,751 --> 00:59:05,837 and then if everybody agrees, you move forward. 1361 00:59:05,837 --> 00:59:07,547 What do you mean "move forward"? 1362 00:59:07,547 --> 00:59:09,132 As an astrophysicist, 1363 00:59:09,132 --> 00:59:13,345 Defending Your Life was one of the most insightful films 1364 00:59:13,345 --> 00:59:15,472 I had ever seen. 1365 00:59:15,472 --> 00:59:18,808 I measure the value of a movie to me 1366 00:59:18,808 --> 00:59:21,895 by how much influence it has over my thoughts. 1367 00:59:21,895 --> 00:59:24,689 The claim is that as a human being on Earth, 1368 00:59:24,689 --> 00:59:27,942 we're using some small percent of our total brain power. 1369 00:59:27,942 --> 00:59:29,944 His attorney, who's defending his life, 1370 00:59:29,944 --> 00:59:32,697 is using, like, 45 or 50 percent 1371 00:59:32,697 --> 00:59:33,865 of his brain power. 1372 00:59:33,865 --> 00:59:35,492 But there's still higher levels beyond that. 1373 00:59:35,492 --> 00:59:38,203 For example, I use 48 percent of my brain. 1374 00:59:38,203 --> 00:59:39,704 Do you know how much you use? 1375 00:59:41,623 --> 00:59:43,375 Forty-seven? 1376 00:59:43,375 --> 00:59:46,544 - Three. - I'm sorry? 1377 00:59:46,544 --> 00:59:50,715 And the lawyer says, "I am deeply simplifying 1378 00:59:50,715 --> 00:59:53,385 my communication, so that you can understand me." 1379 00:59:53,385 --> 00:59:55,637 Where were you? I'm just curious. 1380 00:59:55,637 --> 00:59:57,430 I'd tell you but you wouldn't understand. 1381 00:59:57,430 --> 01:00:00,558 Don't treat me like a moron. Try me. 1382 01:00:00,558 --> 01:00:02,227 I was trapped near the inner circle 1383 01:00:02,227 --> 01:00:03,937 of thought. 1384 01:00:03,937 --> 01:00:06,022 - I don't understand. - I told you. 1385 01:00:06,022 --> 01:00:09,651 And it's because of that scene, I've always been thinking 1386 01:00:09,651 --> 01:00:12,779 about how stupid we may actually be 1387 01:00:12,779 --> 01:00:16,074 on the spectrum of intelligence in the universe. 1388 01:00:16,074 --> 01:00:19,244 - Hi. How'd you die? - On stage, like you. 1389 01:00:21,162 --> 01:00:23,873 You and Meryl Streep are incredible together. 1390 01:00:23,873 --> 01:00:25,625 How did she wind up in that movie? 1391 01:00:25,625 --> 01:00:27,293 Well, I was friends with Carrie Fisher. 1392 01:00:27,293 --> 01:00:30,630 And she had a party, and Meryl Streep was there, 1393 01:00:30,630 --> 01:00:35,010 and I was surprised how easygoing she was. 1394 01:00:35,010 --> 01:00:37,220 And I said, "I just finished something 1395 01:00:37,220 --> 01:00:38,763 I'm really excited about it." 1396 01:00:38,763 --> 01:00:41,182 And I don't know if it was half-joking or real, 1397 01:00:41,182 --> 01:00:43,768 she said, "Is there a part in it for me?" 1398 01:00:43,768 --> 01:00:47,439 I said, "Yeah. Right. Okay." 1399 01:00:47,439 --> 01:00:50,442 And I went home and I thought, "God, yes!" 1400 01:00:50,442 --> 01:00:51,568 Yeah, yeah. 1401 01:00:51,568 --> 01:00:53,945 I don't know what this is. 1402 01:00:55,155 --> 01:00:56,239 But it's... 1403 01:00:58,116 --> 01:00:59,534 well, it's... 1404 01:00:59,534 --> 01:01:00,785 - effortless. - Effortless. 1405 01:01:00,785 --> 01:01:03,913 You can tell that everything 1406 01:01:03,913 --> 01:01:06,833 that's real in his personality is coming out. 1407 01:01:06,833 --> 01:01:10,128 But I've been defending myself so hard these last few days 1408 01:01:10,128 --> 01:01:13,214 and I just don't wanna be judged anymore. 1409 01:01:13,214 --> 01:01:16,426 I have this wonderful feeling inside of me but I'm af-- 1410 01:01:18,053 --> 01:01:20,388 I'm just tired of being judged. 1411 01:01:21,639 --> 01:01:25,977 It's hilarious and I cry at the end every time. 1412 01:01:25,977 --> 01:01:28,688 Julia! No! 1413 01:01:28,688 --> 01:01:32,275 Daniel! I love you! 1414 01:01:32,275 --> 01:01:34,486 ♪ (EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1415 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:39,199 It's an emotional movie, and it's about personal growth, 1416 01:01:39,199 --> 01:01:41,493 and that's not something that was in the other movies. 1417 01:01:41,493 --> 01:01:42,994 Right. But this time, 1418 01:01:42,994 --> 01:01:45,497 he finds a way to overcome his fear. 1419 01:01:45,497 --> 01:01:47,499 He finds love. He wins at the end, 1420 01:01:47,499 --> 01:01:51,711 and it felt like a big choice from Albert to show the lessons 1421 01:01:51,711 --> 01:01:54,673 that I assumed he was trying to learn in life. 1422 01:01:54,673 --> 01:01:56,091 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 1423 01:01:56,091 --> 01:01:59,010 Do you have any thoughts about what happens after you die? 1424 01:01:59,010 --> 01:02:01,221 I don't mind being taken out of the game. 1425 01:02:01,221 --> 01:02:03,848 I just don't wanna see anymore of the game. 1426 01:02:03,848 --> 01:02:06,643 - Yeah, yeah. - So that, to me, would be agony. 1427 01:02:06,643 --> 01:02:08,353 Yes. - To be taken away 1428 01:02:08,353 --> 01:02:10,188 but you get a little peek at... 1429 01:02:10,188 --> 01:02:12,273 "Oh, Rob's still doing well," you know? 1430 01:02:13,566 --> 01:02:16,569 And by the way, on nights you sleep and you don't dream, 1431 01:02:16,569 --> 01:02:18,071 how do you know, what if you don't wake up? 1432 01:02:18,071 --> 01:02:19,364 - How would you know? - Yeah. 1433 01:02:19,364 --> 01:02:21,908 I mean, God, the first time I had a colonoscopy, 1434 01:02:21,908 --> 01:02:23,743 it was-- I wanted one every day. 1435 01:02:23,743 --> 01:02:25,203 It's the greatest sleep in the world. 1436 01:02:25,203 --> 01:02:27,831 And if you woke me up a thousand years later, 1437 01:02:27,831 --> 01:02:29,833 I wouldn't have any idea. Right. 1438 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,043 So, I imagine that's what it is. 1439 01:02:32,043 --> 01:02:34,504 What? Like having a colonoscopy? 1440 01:02:34,504 --> 01:02:35,797 Yes. Yeah. 1441 01:02:35,797 --> 01:02:37,966 Yeah. A big one. 1442 01:02:37,966 --> 01:02:41,720 So, you're feeling your way through the world 1443 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,139 of relationships with, uh, women. 1444 01:02:44,139 --> 01:02:47,100 And I'm sure, there were a lot of women, come in and out 1445 01:02:47,100 --> 01:02:48,560 - of your life and all that. - Yes. 1446 01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:52,939 And so that I'm sure gives birth to things like Modern Romance, 1447 01:02:52,939 --> 01:02:55,942 like Defending Your Life, like Lost in America, 1448 01:02:55,942 --> 01:02:58,778 all of those pictures that have these relationships. 1449 01:02:58,778 --> 01:03:00,989 We're seeing Albert Brooks struggling 1450 01:03:00,989 --> 01:03:03,033 with the opposite sex. 1451 01:03:03,033 --> 01:03:05,243 So, how did you eventually find your way? 1452 01:03:05,243 --> 01:03:07,996 Well, I lucked out because I waited long enough 1453 01:03:07,996 --> 01:03:10,081 where I had reached a point, 1454 01:03:10,081 --> 01:03:14,127 and if anybody ever asks me advice about it, 1455 01:03:14,127 --> 01:03:16,254 you know, "How do you find someone?" 1456 01:03:16,254 --> 01:03:19,257 I mean, the answer is you stop looking. 1457 01:03:19,257 --> 01:03:22,719 Albert, you were one of the last bachelors to go in Hollywood. 1458 01:03:22,719 --> 01:03:24,929 - You waited a long time. - That's right. 1459 01:03:24,929 --> 01:03:26,931 Warren Beatty and I used to huddle in the corner. 1460 01:03:28,099 --> 01:03:30,435 What was it about this lady that set her apart 1461 01:03:30,435 --> 01:03:32,604 from all those nymphet starlets 1462 01:03:32,604 --> 01:03:33,855 - you'd been with? - Yes! 1463 01:03:33,855 --> 01:03:35,440 I guess this wasn't the romantic way to put it, 1464 01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,651 but after two days, I looked right in her eyes 1465 01:03:38,651 --> 01:03:40,779 and I said, "You're the first woman 1466 01:03:40,779 --> 01:03:42,572 I'm willing to be divorced from." 1467 01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:50,121 I met Kimberly and it was just right. 1468 01:03:50,121 --> 01:03:51,998 Yeah. How did you meet her? 1469 01:03:51,998 --> 01:03:54,668 I was set up by friends. Yeah. 1470 01:03:54,668 --> 01:03:56,336 And she called it a blind date, 1471 01:03:56,336 --> 01:03:58,797 and yet Defending Your Life was her favorite movie, 1472 01:03:58,797 --> 01:04:00,799 so I said, "Well, it was a one-eyed date." 1473 01:04:00,799 --> 01:04:01,966 Yes. 1474 01:04:01,966 --> 01:04:04,719 I thought the movie was amazing. And I said, 1475 01:04:04,719 --> 01:04:08,640 "This man wrote, directed, and starred in this? 1476 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:10,100 That's the kind of guy I wanna marry." 1477 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:11,559 I swear to God I said that. 1478 01:04:11,559 --> 01:04:12,769 Really? - Yeah. 1479 01:04:12,769 --> 01:04:15,105 But I was filming in San Francisco, Mother. 1480 01:04:15,105 --> 01:04:16,773 Right. - So, we talked on the phone 1481 01:04:16,773 --> 01:04:18,650 for ages. But I'll tell you, one of these, 1482 01:04:18,650 --> 01:04:20,985 I'm not a big coincidence guy. 1483 01:04:20,985 --> 01:04:23,029 Yeah. - But this was interesting. 1484 01:04:23,029 --> 01:04:28,034 I wrote Mother before I met her, and she came from Marin, 1485 01:04:28,034 --> 01:04:30,328 and I set the character in Marin. 1486 01:04:30,328 --> 01:04:31,996 More importantly... That's why-- 1487 01:04:31,996 --> 01:04:35,500 ...I set the character at Tam High, 1488 01:04:35,500 --> 01:04:38,878 - where she went to high school. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1489 01:04:38,878 --> 01:04:40,213 So, that was weird! 1490 01:04:40,213 --> 01:04:42,924 Our hour-long conversations became, you know, 1491 01:04:42,924 --> 01:04:44,634 eight-hour long conversations 1492 01:04:44,634 --> 01:04:46,177 and he made me laugh till I cried 1493 01:04:46,177 --> 01:04:47,846 but this was before the internet. 1494 01:04:47,846 --> 01:04:49,472 He had no idea what I looked like. 1495 01:04:49,472 --> 01:04:52,475 So, we kind of fell in love by talking. 1496 01:04:52,475 --> 01:04:53,768 And we talked on the phone 1497 01:04:53,768 --> 01:04:55,770 and it was great, great, great, great, great. 1498 01:04:55,770 --> 01:04:57,272 We met and it was great. 1499 01:04:57,272 --> 01:05:03,695 And, you know, I had waited and knew that I couldn't-- 1500 01:05:03,695 --> 01:05:05,363 shouldn't be waiting too much longer. 1501 01:05:05,363 --> 01:05:06,865 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1502 01:05:06,865 --> 01:05:08,158 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1503 01:05:08,158 --> 01:05:09,367 My line was, 1504 01:05:09,367 --> 01:05:12,328 "I'm gonna have to look for high schools with ramps." 1505 01:05:15,331 --> 01:05:16,207 "Is Dad coming?" 1506 01:05:16,207 --> 01:05:18,209 "He's wheeling up. He's wheeling up." 1507 01:05:18,209 --> 01:05:20,712 The chemistry, everything was there 1508 01:05:20,712 --> 01:05:21,921 the minute we met. 1509 01:05:21,921 --> 01:05:24,549 Somehow, I don't know how it happened, 1510 01:05:24,549 --> 01:05:26,009 but we were, like, making out 1511 01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:28,053 to the soundtrack of Schindler's List. 1512 01:05:29,387 --> 01:05:31,014 That's true. 1513 01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:32,390 It was worth waiting for. 1514 01:05:32,390 --> 01:05:34,225 Yeah, yeah. - That's all I can say. 1515 01:05:34,225 --> 01:05:35,602 And I said, "Well, look, 1516 01:05:35,602 --> 01:05:38,813 I don't know why you've waited but this is what I want. 1517 01:05:38,813 --> 01:05:41,066 I wanna get married, you know, have kids. 1518 01:05:41,066 --> 01:05:42,442 The whole nine yards." 1519 01:05:42,442 --> 01:05:45,695 So, then he kept saying, "Well, why don't you move in?" 1520 01:05:45,695 --> 01:05:47,113 Like, when we were dating. 1521 01:05:47,113 --> 01:05:51,201 And I kept going like this, "It's so empty there, isn't it? 1522 01:05:51,201 --> 01:05:54,579 Like, do you see anything?" You know, like, every time. 1523 01:05:54,579 --> 01:05:58,625 And then he said, "Okay, I'll take you to Tiffany's." 1524 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:02,170 And I was like, "Ah, ah, I need to hear the whole sentence. 1525 01:06:02,170 --> 01:06:04,798 Like, you need to get on a knee. Like, you need to do it." 1526 01:06:04,798 --> 01:06:07,050 And so then he did it. Wow. 1527 01:06:07,050 --> 01:06:09,010 She thinks I proposed. I actually tripped. 1528 01:06:10,470 --> 01:06:12,263 - You were on your knees-- - That's right. 1529 01:06:12,263 --> 01:06:14,432 I dropped a contact lens, bent down to pick it up 1530 01:06:14,432 --> 01:06:16,017 - and she said, "Yes." - And you got married. 1531 01:06:16,017 --> 01:06:17,560 Yeah. 1532 01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:19,104 I've known you so long, 1533 01:06:19,104 --> 01:06:22,732 and when you met Kimberly and you got married 1534 01:06:22,732 --> 01:06:24,150 and you had kids, 1535 01:06:24,150 --> 01:06:27,612 I thought, "This is a big thing for Albert," 1536 01:06:27,612 --> 01:06:31,449 because you didn't see that evolution for you. 1537 01:06:31,449 --> 01:06:33,284 I was sick of me. 1538 01:06:33,284 --> 01:06:36,496 I mean, if I couldn't do this for somebody, 1539 01:06:36,496 --> 01:06:38,039 I think I would never have 1540 01:06:38,039 --> 01:06:40,208 left my home past fifty. Right, right. 1541 01:06:40,208 --> 01:06:42,961 And so you have Jake, you have Claire, 1542 01:06:42,961 --> 01:06:45,005 and now all of a sudden you're a father. 1543 01:06:45,005 --> 01:06:46,840 How are you adjusting to that? 1544 01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,092 I couldn't imagine a life without it. 1545 01:06:49,092 --> 01:06:52,303 Now, do your kids know that you're that Albert Brooks? 1546 01:06:52,303 --> 01:06:55,432 I-- I haven't really shown them the movies yet 1547 01:06:55,432 --> 01:06:57,809 because they-- 1548 01:06:57,809 --> 01:07:01,980 I don't wanna see them not like it. 1549 01:07:01,980 --> 01:07:04,190 'Cause then I'd have to punish them severely. 1550 01:07:05,984 --> 01:07:07,277 In my will, David, 1551 01:07:07,277 --> 01:07:10,989 I have a detailed questionnaire about my movies. 1552 01:07:12,824 --> 01:07:14,701 And if they can't answer it... 1553 01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:16,119 - Very shrewd. - There's nothing. 1554 01:07:16,119 --> 01:07:17,328 - There's nothing. - I think you're on 1555 01:07:17,328 --> 01:07:18,830 - to something there. - Right. There's nothing. 1556 01:07:18,830 --> 01:07:22,584 - A only mark. - All right, and action! 1557 01:07:22,584 --> 01:07:24,127 She's a muse. 1558 01:07:24,502 --> 01:07:25,545 Come on. 1559 01:07:25,545 --> 01:07:28,298 No. I-- I met her at a party a couple of years ago. 1560 01:07:28,298 --> 01:07:30,675 - Rob Reiner introduced us. - Rob Reiner? 1561 01:07:30,675 --> 01:07:31,968 The idea of the film 1562 01:07:31,968 --> 01:07:34,179 is that there's this woman who's a muse 1563 01:07:34,179 --> 01:07:37,182 who can get the best things out of people, 1564 01:07:37,182 --> 01:07:38,975 so they can do their best work. 1565 01:07:38,975 --> 01:07:41,436 That's right. When you start believing that, 1566 01:07:41,436 --> 01:07:43,980 it becomes something. Right, right. 1567 01:07:43,980 --> 01:07:46,024 It's the ultimate placebo. 1568 01:07:46,024 --> 01:07:47,442 I can see why you need me. 1569 01:07:47,442 --> 01:07:48,985 When he called me, I was just, like... 1570 01:07:48,985 --> 01:07:51,696 "Oh, my God, it's Albert Brooks!" 1571 01:07:51,696 --> 01:07:55,200 You have a lot of talent. 1572 01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,369 It's just that you're losing your edge. 1573 01:07:57,369 --> 01:07:59,829 Jesus, I am hearing this from everybody. 1574 01:07:59,829 --> 01:08:01,122 That's because it's true. 1575 01:08:01,122 --> 01:08:03,541 And I said, "Oh, I'm in!" And he goes, 1576 01:08:03,541 --> 01:08:05,960 "You don't even need to see the script?" 1577 01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:07,379 And I'm like, "No." 1578 01:08:07,379 --> 01:08:10,173 Sharon was so receptive. 1579 01:08:10,173 --> 01:08:12,634 And so much fun to work with. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 1580 01:08:12,634 --> 01:08:17,097 Just really, ideas and energy. I was crazy about her. 1581 01:08:17,097 --> 01:08:19,057 - Say that to them. - Everything is her. 1582 01:08:19,057 --> 01:08:21,476 Everything. 1583 01:08:21,476 --> 01:08:23,895 We had this really wonderful trust 1584 01:08:23,895 --> 01:08:25,313 right from the start. 1585 01:08:25,313 --> 01:08:27,232 There's this scene where I get in bed 1586 01:08:27,232 --> 01:08:28,566 with Andie MacDowell. 1587 01:08:28,566 --> 01:08:31,152 So, what side of the bed do you want? 1588 01:08:31,152 --> 01:08:33,822 Oh, you're gonna sleep in the bed too? 1589 01:08:33,822 --> 01:08:36,449 And I said, "So, I wanna be naked." 1590 01:08:36,449 --> 01:08:39,244 And he went, "I don't know. I don't know." 1591 01:08:39,244 --> 01:08:40,704 He kept covering his eyes. His eyes? 1592 01:08:40,704 --> 01:08:42,872 Yeah, like, "I-- I don't know if I can-- 1593 01:08:42,872 --> 01:08:44,165 I don't know if I can see that." 1594 01:08:44,165 --> 01:08:45,583 You want the whole bed? 1595 01:08:45,583 --> 01:08:48,336 Well, hey, it's your house, you know? Whatever you wanna do. 1596 01:08:48,336 --> 01:08:50,672 Oh, my God. You want the whole bed? 1597 01:08:50,922 --> 01:08:52,173 Take it. 1598 01:08:52,173 --> 01:08:54,134 And then you had Scorsese. 1599 01:08:54,134 --> 01:08:55,719 Yeah, we have these famous directors 1600 01:08:55,719 --> 01:08:58,513 all thinking that they might get help from this fraud. 1601 01:08:58,513 --> 01:09:00,181 Just tell him Marty was here, okay? 1602 01:09:00,181 --> 01:09:02,308 'Cause I gotta get this thing figured out. I'm right in the middle of it. 1603 01:09:02,308 --> 01:09:04,185 - I gotta get it figured out. - What are you working on? 1604 01:09:04,185 --> 01:09:05,437 - Promise you won't tell anybody? - Yeah. 1605 01:09:05,437 --> 01:09:06,938 I'm working on a remake of Raging Bull. 1606 01:09:06,938 --> 01:09:08,356 - Really? - Yeah. Only this time, 1607 01:09:08,356 --> 01:09:10,734 I'm doing it with a real thin guy. Real thin. 1608 01:09:10,734 --> 01:09:12,444 - Can you see it? - Yeah. I see it. 1609 01:09:12,444 --> 01:09:14,154 - Thin. Thin. Thin. - Thin and angry. Thin and angry. 1610 01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:16,031 Thin and angry. Is there a Starbucks near here? 1611 01:09:16,031 --> 01:09:17,449 Oh, gee, I'd be careful if I were you. 1612 01:09:17,449 --> 01:09:20,243 - You might have had your quota. - Yeah. I guess I'd-- Quota? 1613 01:09:20,243 --> 01:09:21,619 That gives me an idea for something else entirely. 1614 01:09:21,619 --> 01:09:22,996 Thank you. We never had this conversation. 1615 01:09:22,996 --> 01:09:24,581 I don't know who you are. We never spoke. 1616 01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:25,790 Jim Cameron. 1617 01:09:25,790 --> 01:09:29,044 I just don't see you going back to the water anytime soon. 1618 01:09:29,044 --> 01:09:31,671 So... no sequel? 1619 01:09:32,130 --> 01:09:33,298 No. 1620 01:09:33,298 --> 01:09:37,635 Stay away from the water. Don't go near the water. 1621 01:09:37,635 --> 01:09:39,846 And me. I was-- Yeah. Yeah. And you. 1622 01:09:39,846 --> 01:09:42,891 - Sarah! - Oh! 1623 01:09:44,267 --> 01:09:47,145 - It's so good to see you. - Oh, hey! Oh! 1624 01:09:47,145 --> 01:09:48,730 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1625 01:09:48,730 --> 01:09:49,731 For the rest of your life 1626 01:09:49,731 --> 01:09:51,566 you're gonna be looking over your shoulder. 1627 01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:55,653 I'm just telling you this because 1628 01:09:55,653 --> 01:09:57,655 - I want you to know the truth. - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 1629 01:09:57,655 --> 01:09:59,824 Albert is a totally trained actor. 1630 01:09:59,824 --> 01:10:02,660 He has all that technique. He has all those tools. 1631 01:10:02,660 --> 01:10:03,828 He can do anything. 1632 01:10:04,412 --> 01:10:06,498 - Notice anything? - No. 1633 01:10:06,498 --> 01:10:08,333 Then put your glasses on. 1634 01:10:08,333 --> 01:10:11,002 Okay. Just a minute. All right. 1635 01:10:11,002 --> 01:10:13,672 That taxi driver has been staring at us. 1636 01:10:13,672 --> 01:10:14,756 What taxi driver? 1637 01:10:14,756 --> 01:10:17,300 That one. The one that's sitting there. 1638 01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:18,551 How long has he been there? 1639 01:10:18,551 --> 01:10:21,096 I don't know but it feels like a long time. 1640 01:10:21,096 --> 01:10:23,431 My first acting movie was Taxi Driver. 1641 01:10:23,431 --> 01:10:24,849 Right. Scorsese. 1642 01:10:24,849 --> 01:10:27,227 That was a hell of a movie to have starred in. 1643 01:10:27,227 --> 01:10:30,063 Why did they think Albert Brooks would be perfect 1644 01:10:30,063 --> 01:10:31,773 for a movie about Travis Bickle? 1645 01:10:31,773 --> 01:10:34,359 You know, I think Scorsese had seen plenty of me 1646 01:10:34,359 --> 01:10:37,612 on the variety shows. And he loved comedy 1647 01:10:37,612 --> 01:10:39,614 and he sensed that I could do it. 1648 01:10:39,614 --> 01:10:44,452 But to me, just going to the set on days I wasn't working 1649 01:10:44,452 --> 01:10:46,830 and watching Marty, it was a thrilling experience. 1650 01:10:46,830 --> 01:10:48,081 Why won't you talk to me? 1651 01:10:48,081 --> 01:10:49,332 - Come on. - Why won't you talk to me? 1652 01:10:49,332 --> 01:10:51,001 Why don't you answer my calls when I call you? 1653 01:10:51,001 --> 01:10:52,252 You think I don't know you're here? 1654 01:10:52,252 --> 01:10:53,628 - Let's not have any trouble. - You think I don't know? 1655 01:10:53,628 --> 01:10:55,171 You think I don't know? Would you please leave? 1656 01:10:55,171 --> 01:10:56,381 - Get your hands off me. - Okay. Then leave. 1657 01:10:56,381 --> 01:10:58,216 I just want you to know that I know and I'm here. 1658 01:10:58,216 --> 01:10:59,551 Come on. Let's not have any trouble. 1659 01:10:59,551 --> 01:11:01,219 Please. Just please. This isn't the place to do this. 1660 01:11:01,219 --> 01:11:02,429 Get your hands-- Okay. 1661 01:11:02,429 --> 01:11:04,139 - Get your hands off! - Okay. Then just leave! 1662 01:11:04,139 --> 01:11:05,557 - Take 'em off! - All right. Just leave then. 1663 01:11:05,557 --> 01:11:06,850 What made you decide 1664 01:11:06,850 --> 01:11:09,352 that he was the guy you wanted for Broadcast News? 1665 01:11:09,352 --> 01:11:11,271 Oh, not decision. Just-- 1666 01:11:11,271 --> 01:11:13,064 We talked about it through the writing. 1667 01:11:13,064 --> 01:11:15,025 I mean, there was nobody else. 1668 01:11:15,025 --> 01:11:17,235 You can't end up with Tom 1669 01:11:17,235 --> 01:11:19,362 because it totally goes against everything 1670 01:11:19,362 --> 01:11:20,739 that you're about. 1671 01:11:23,450 --> 01:11:25,618 I know you care about him. 1672 01:11:26,578 --> 01:11:28,872 I've never seen you like this with anybody. 1673 01:11:28,872 --> 01:11:33,084 So, don't get me wrong when I tell you that Tom, 1674 01:11:33,084 --> 01:11:35,420 while being a very nice guy... 1675 01:11:36,921 --> 01:11:37,797 is the devil. 1676 01:11:37,797 --> 01:11:42,260 I wanna talk about this very specific moment 1677 01:11:42,260 --> 01:11:44,429 in Broadcast News, 1678 01:11:44,429 --> 01:11:47,891 and it's famous because anybody who gets nervous, 1679 01:11:47,891 --> 01:11:51,102 they say, "You're sweating just like Albert Brooks." 1680 01:11:51,102 --> 01:11:53,605 Tell me how that moment came to be. 1681 01:11:53,605 --> 01:11:59,611 In the original script, Jim didn't have sweating. 1682 01:11:59,611 --> 01:12:04,199 It was Aaron has a horrible failure. 1683 01:12:04,199 --> 01:12:05,450 Right. Yeah. 1684 01:12:05,450 --> 01:12:07,327 You're anchoring it, taking William Hurt's place. 1685 01:12:07,327 --> 01:12:09,412 Right. And one night, 1686 01:12:09,412 --> 01:12:14,250 I saw at midnight, a new guy on CNN. 1687 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:16,628 Albert called me one day, so excited, 1688 01:12:16,628 --> 01:12:19,589 and he said, "I just saw a guy on CNN sweating bullets." 1689 01:12:19,589 --> 01:12:23,510 I woke Jim up. "Jim! Jim! Turn on CNN! 1690 01:12:23,510 --> 01:12:26,096 I know what we-- This is it!" And it worked. 1691 01:12:26,096 --> 01:12:27,514 It worked. Wow, wow, wow. 1692 01:12:27,514 --> 01:12:31,851 The British foreign secretary today, pounced on what he termed 1693 01:12:31,851 --> 01:12:35,814 "The nest of professional spies and amateur traders 1694 01:12:35,814 --> 01:12:37,899 who are turning NATO headquarters 1695 01:12:37,899 --> 01:12:39,317 into an instrument 1696 01:12:39,317 --> 01:12:41,528 whose only true function is folly." 1697 01:12:41,528 --> 01:12:44,489 Just how noticeable is this, huh? 1698 01:12:44,489 --> 01:12:46,116 Albert really trashed 1699 01:12:46,116 --> 01:12:48,576 the shirt and the jacket that night. 1700 01:12:48,576 --> 01:12:50,954 But for years afterward, 1701 01:12:50,954 --> 01:12:55,333 and after anyone sees it now, contemporaneously today... 1702 01:12:55,333 --> 01:12:56,459 Five seconds! 1703 01:12:56,459 --> 01:12:58,336 ...people will find a way to ask you, 1704 01:12:58,336 --> 01:13:00,714 "Were you more like the William Hurt character 1705 01:13:00,714 --> 01:13:03,633 or were you the sweaty intellectual?" 1706 01:13:03,633 --> 01:13:06,428 A hundred and twenty people were reported injured. 1707 01:13:06,428 --> 01:13:08,680 At least 22 people dead. 1708 01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:11,766 Commercial. - I wish I were one of them. 1709 01:13:11,766 --> 01:13:14,352 I think that his performance in Broadcast News 1710 01:13:14,352 --> 01:13:18,189 is just the North Star for almost everything. 1711 01:13:18,189 --> 01:13:19,607 There's a lot of people that feel like, 1712 01:13:19,607 --> 01:13:21,317 "I'm kind of a decent person, 1713 01:13:21,317 --> 01:13:24,195 and why do I always get passed over?" 1714 01:13:24,195 --> 01:13:26,948 Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation 1715 01:13:26,948 --> 01:13:31,536 made us more attractive? If needy were a turn-on? 1716 01:13:31,536 --> 01:13:34,622 - Call if you get weird. - Mm. 1717 01:13:34,622 --> 01:13:36,666 We thought we were Albert Brooks in that relationship. 1718 01:13:36,666 --> 01:13:39,044 No comedy people thought they were William Hurt. 1719 01:13:39,044 --> 01:13:42,255 I thought Albert and Holly sort of stole the show. 1720 01:13:42,255 --> 01:13:45,717 Hey, Aaron! I think you're the devil! 1721 01:13:45,717 --> 01:13:48,345 - You know I'm not! - How? 1722 01:13:48,345 --> 01:13:50,472 Because I think we have the kind of friendship 1723 01:13:50,472 --> 01:13:51,598 where if I were the devil, 1724 01:13:51,598 --> 01:13:54,142 you'd be the only one I would tell. 1725 01:13:54,142 --> 01:13:56,478 Well, you were awfully quick to run after Tom's help 1726 01:13:56,478 --> 01:13:58,938 - when you wanted help! - All right. Fine. Yes! 1727 01:14:00,357 --> 01:14:01,858 And if things had gone well for me tonight, 1728 01:14:01,858 --> 01:14:03,735 then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. 1729 01:14:03,735 --> 01:14:08,990 I grant you everything... but give me this. 1730 01:14:08,990 --> 01:14:13,161 He personifies everything that you've been fighting against. 1731 01:14:14,788 --> 01:14:16,581 And I'm in love with you. 1732 01:14:20,085 --> 01:14:21,503 How do you like that? 1733 01:14:22,379 --> 01:14:24,923 I buried the lede. 1734 01:14:24,923 --> 01:14:28,927 I love seeing him play villains. I've seen Drive a million times. 1735 01:14:28,927 --> 01:14:31,638 Kid, I want you to meet Mr. Bernie Rose. 1736 01:14:32,514 --> 01:14:34,432 Nice to meet you. 1737 01:14:34,432 --> 01:14:36,601 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1738 01:14:38,186 --> 01:14:39,854 My hands are a little dirty. 1739 01:14:41,106 --> 01:14:42,232 So are mine. 1740 01:14:43,525 --> 01:14:45,610 And Nicolas Refn said, 1741 01:14:45,610 --> 01:14:47,529 "Why would I believe he was a bad guy?" 1742 01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:50,365 And I pinned them up against the door. 1743 01:14:50,365 --> 01:14:52,033 I mean, I really did. Yeah. 1744 01:14:52,033 --> 01:14:57,122 And I said quietly, "There's no convincing Nicolas." 1745 01:14:57,122 --> 01:15:01,960 I said, "If I now took a gun, and put it in your ear 1746 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,504 and shot a bullet through your brain 1747 01:15:04,504 --> 01:15:08,008 and smiled and left, I'd be a bad guy." 1748 01:15:08,008 --> 01:15:10,969 I think we would have made a go with this business. 1749 01:15:22,772 --> 01:15:25,150 Don't worry. Don't worry. 1750 01:15:25,150 --> 01:15:27,694 That's it. It's done. 1751 01:15:27,694 --> 01:15:29,654 There's no pain. It's over. It's over. 1752 01:15:29,654 --> 01:15:32,657 I mean, he's a beautiful actor. 1753 01:15:32,657 --> 01:15:34,534 His character parts that he would do. 1754 01:15:34,534 --> 01:15:37,203 The NFL owns the day of the week. 1755 01:15:37,203 --> 01:15:41,458 The same day the church used to own. Now, it's theirs. 1756 01:15:41,458 --> 01:15:42,792 You're a bank robber. 1757 01:15:42,792 --> 01:15:45,545 It's not a very marketable skill. 1758 01:15:45,545 --> 01:15:47,547 We don't see a lot of old bank robbers 1759 01:15:47,547 --> 01:15:50,800 walking around with a pension plan, now do we? 1760 01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:52,177 I don't anticipate a problem. 1761 01:15:52,177 --> 01:15:55,347 God knows they've given money to bigger crooks than us. 1762 01:15:55,347 --> 01:15:57,390 Daddy, you never play with me. 1763 01:15:57,390 --> 01:16:00,518 I do, but right now, look who I'm talking to! 1764 01:16:00,518 --> 01:16:02,687 - Hi. - It's your brother! 1765 01:16:02,687 --> 01:16:03,563 Hi. 1766 01:16:03,563 --> 01:16:05,857 - Say-- - You don't look like my brother. 1767 01:16:05,857 --> 01:16:09,903 I told you, honey, that's 'cause of the egg donor. 1768 01:16:09,903 --> 01:16:10,987 I am so excited. 1769 01:16:10,987 --> 01:16:14,074 I can't believe I'm in a car with Albert Brooks, 1770 01:16:14,074 --> 01:16:16,076 Lucy Liu, and Jerry David. 1771 01:16:16,076 --> 01:16:17,577 I just can't believe 1772 01:16:17,577 --> 01:16:19,704 - we're all going-- - Oh, you're so funny. 1773 01:16:19,704 --> 01:16:21,706 I got my Jews confused a little bit. 1774 01:16:21,706 --> 01:16:24,000 "I got my Jews confused"? 1775 01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:25,960 - She's funny, Albert. - She's funny. 1776 01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:26,878 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1777 01:16:26,878 --> 01:16:29,464 - Anti-Semitic, but funny. - Yeah. 1778 01:16:29,464 --> 01:16:31,508 He was actually a little nervous the first day. 1779 01:16:31,508 --> 01:16:32,801 He-- he was? - Yeah. 1780 01:16:32,801 --> 01:16:33,885 Why? - I could tell. 1781 01:16:33,885 --> 01:16:35,553 I know when somebody is nervous, yeah. 1782 01:16:35,553 --> 01:16:37,847 The premise, to me, is terrific. 1783 01:16:37,847 --> 01:16:42,560 The idea of doing a eulogy or doing a memorial service 1784 01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:45,105 for somebody before they die. 1785 01:16:45,105 --> 01:16:47,732 Welcome, everyone. Thank you for coming. 1786 01:16:47,732 --> 01:16:51,528 Albert inspired me to become a stand-up comedian. 1787 01:16:51,528 --> 01:16:53,071 And that more than anything, 1788 01:16:53,071 --> 01:16:55,323 makes me wish he was really dead. 1789 01:16:56,616 --> 01:16:58,034 I hate him. 1790 01:16:58,034 --> 01:16:58,910 Thanks to Larry David, 1791 01:16:58,910 --> 01:17:00,662 we learned he was a COVID hoarder. 1792 01:17:00,662 --> 01:17:03,498 - ♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - Oh, my God. 1793 01:17:03,498 --> 01:17:05,333 Albert Brooks is a COVID hoarder. 1794 01:17:05,333 --> 01:17:07,627 - He's a fucking COVID hoarder. - He's a COVID hoarder. 1795 01:17:07,627 --> 01:17:09,754 - Albert's a COVID hoarder. - Are you kidding? 1796 01:17:09,754 --> 01:17:11,214 This is unacceptable. 1797 01:17:11,214 --> 01:17:12,340 What's going on here? 1798 01:17:12,340 --> 01:17:14,926 The fuck is wrong with you? You're sitting over there 1799 01:17:14,926 --> 01:17:17,554 with a closet full of fucking toilet paper? 1800 01:17:17,554 --> 01:17:21,099 I just moved in here. This used to be a CVS. 1801 01:17:21,099 --> 01:17:25,186 - Shame on you, Albert Brooks. - Come back! I've got flu shots! 1802 01:17:25,186 --> 01:17:28,690 You've done a lot of voices for animated stuff. 1803 01:17:28,690 --> 01:17:31,568 I did a lot of Simpsons characters. 1804 01:17:31,568 --> 01:17:33,153 Everybody on The Simpsons, 1805 01:17:33,153 --> 01:17:36,573 when Albert came in, it was New Year's Eve for them. 1806 01:17:36,573 --> 01:17:37,824 Homer, on your way out, 1807 01:17:37,824 --> 01:17:40,076 if you wanna kill somebody, it would help me a lot. 1808 01:17:41,953 --> 01:17:45,123 The key to motivation is trust. Let me show you what I mean. 1809 01:17:45,123 --> 01:17:46,833 I want you to close your eyes and fall backwards 1810 01:17:46,833 --> 01:17:48,001 and I'll catch you. 1811 01:17:48,001 --> 01:17:49,627 That's gonna show you what trust is all about. 1812 01:17:49,627 --> 01:17:51,212 - Ready? - All right. 1813 01:17:51,212 --> 01:17:52,881 Three, two-- 1814 01:17:52,881 --> 01:17:54,591 One second. Hello? 1815 01:17:54,591 --> 01:17:55,633 Oh, my God. 1816 01:17:55,633 --> 01:17:56,676 A guy's on the floor. 1817 01:17:56,676 --> 01:17:58,636 You never saw writers aggressively 1818 01:17:58,636 --> 01:18:00,889 not care about their script... 1819 01:18:00,889 --> 01:18:03,641 ...because of what Albert would do when he came in. 1820 01:18:03,641 --> 01:18:06,102 - Meet me tomorrow for brunch. - What's brunch? 1821 01:18:06,102 --> 01:18:07,812 You'd love it. It's not quite breakfast, 1822 01:18:07,812 --> 01:18:09,314 it's not quite lunch. 1823 01:18:09,314 --> 01:18:11,983 But it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. 1824 01:18:11,983 --> 01:18:14,652 You don't get completely what you would at breakfast 1825 01:18:14,652 --> 01:18:16,237 but you get a good meal. 1826 01:18:16,654 --> 01:18:18,656 - Nemo! - Daddy! 1827 01:18:18,656 --> 01:18:21,117 Nemo! I'm coming, Nemo! 1828 01:18:21,117 --> 01:18:22,160 Dad! 1829 01:18:22,160 --> 01:18:23,161 Nemo! - Dad! 1830 01:18:23,161 --> 01:18:26,039 Thank goodness. It's all right, son. 1831 01:18:26,039 --> 01:18:28,041 How did you come to Finding Nemo? 1832 01:18:28,041 --> 01:18:30,168 How would-- how did that come about? 1833 01:18:30,168 --> 01:18:33,672 They contacted me, and to convince me, 1834 01:18:33,672 --> 01:18:36,007 they flew me up to Pixar. 1835 01:18:36,007 --> 01:18:39,344 And they did the cutest thing I've ever seen. 1836 01:18:39,344 --> 01:18:41,721 They took a scene from Defending Your Life 1837 01:18:41,721 --> 01:18:44,182 and put it in the fish's mouth. 1838 01:18:44,182 --> 01:18:47,352 Look, I'm guilty. I didn't make enough money, okay? 1839 01:18:47,352 --> 01:18:49,938 Call me a hippie, send me to hell. I give up. 1840 01:18:49,938 --> 01:18:51,690 I said, "All right. I'm in." 1841 01:18:51,690 --> 01:18:54,359 Hey, you're a clownfish. You're funny, right? 1842 01:18:54,359 --> 01:18:55,652 Hey, tell us a joke. 1843 01:18:55,652 --> 01:18:57,028 Yeah, come on. Give us a funny one. 1844 01:18:57,028 --> 01:18:58,822 Well, actually, that's a common misconception. 1845 01:18:58,822 --> 01:19:01,032 Clownfish are no funnier than any other fish. 1846 01:19:01,032 --> 01:19:02,992 There's a story I heard that, uh, 1847 01:19:02,992 --> 01:19:04,369 when you went to the first preview-- 1848 01:19:04,369 --> 01:19:08,707 It was the premier. And I think Jake was maybe four. 1849 01:19:08,707 --> 01:19:11,084 - Right. - And after that fish 1850 01:19:11,084 --> 01:19:16,715 killed everybody but my one son, he ran out of the theater. 1851 01:19:16,715 --> 01:19:18,591 I was old enough to kind of understand 1852 01:19:18,591 --> 01:19:20,385 that, like, that was my dad's voice. 1853 01:19:20,385 --> 01:19:24,347 But I was young enough to-- to not understand what I was. 1854 01:19:24,347 --> 01:19:25,390 And my mom would say, 1855 01:19:25,390 --> 01:19:27,892 "That's you. That's Daddy. That's you. That's you." 1856 01:19:27,892 --> 01:19:28,977 Then I go to the movie. 1857 01:19:28,977 --> 01:19:30,812 And in my mind, I'm genuinely Nemo. 1858 01:19:30,812 --> 01:19:32,439 Like, I'm the fish. There's no difference. 1859 01:19:32,439 --> 01:19:34,065 And then one scene in, 1860 01:19:34,065 --> 01:19:36,526 the mom gets, like, murdered by this fish. 1861 01:19:36,526 --> 01:19:38,361 You know, I'm processing the death. 1862 01:19:38,361 --> 01:19:40,155 And I'm crying, and we had to leave. 1863 01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:42,073 Then my mom had to be like, "No, no, no! 1864 01:19:42,073 --> 01:19:44,159 I'm here. I'm here. It's not real." 1865 01:19:44,159 --> 01:19:47,746 Finding Nemo kind of took the world by storm. 1866 01:19:47,746 --> 01:19:49,205 I remember I was, like, nine. 1867 01:19:49,205 --> 01:19:51,124 It was my first time going to sleepaway camp 1868 01:19:51,124 --> 01:19:53,918 and I was so homesick and nervous. 1869 01:19:53,918 --> 01:19:56,796 I would cry a lot. And then all of a sudden, 1870 01:19:56,796 --> 01:19:59,215 Finding Nemo was playing on the bus. 1871 01:19:59,215 --> 01:20:00,133 I didn't know anyone. 1872 01:20:00,133 --> 01:20:02,469 I was just sitting there, watching my dad, 1873 01:20:02,469 --> 01:20:04,095 like, "It's gonna be okay." 1874 01:20:04,095 --> 01:20:08,141 There, there, there. It's okay. Daddy's here. 1875 01:20:08,141 --> 01:20:09,809 ♪ (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 1876 01:20:09,809 --> 01:20:11,936 Daddy's got you. 1877 01:20:11,936 --> 01:20:13,813 And then you also wrote a book? 1878 01:20:13,813 --> 01:20:15,690 I did. I was very proud of that book, 1879 01:20:15,690 --> 01:20:17,233 called Twenty Thirty, 1880 01:20:17,233 --> 01:20:19,444 The Real Story of What Happens to America. 1881 01:20:19,444 --> 01:20:23,073 And I wanted to do a real near future story. 1882 01:20:23,073 --> 01:20:24,407 The main conflict of this 1883 01:20:24,407 --> 01:20:27,994 is the olds versus the younger generations. 1884 01:20:27,994 --> 01:20:31,956 Yes. I feel and I can see it in my own children 1885 01:20:31,956 --> 01:20:34,668 that in a number of years, these younger people 1886 01:20:34,668 --> 01:20:35,919 are gonna try to kill us. 1887 01:20:37,796 --> 01:20:39,089 You mind if I would do something? 1888 01:20:39,089 --> 01:20:40,507 - No, please. - 'Cause I know, in this-- 1889 01:20:40,507 --> 01:20:44,969 in the mass world of media, things don't get attention 1890 01:20:44,969 --> 01:20:46,513 - unless they go viral. - Right. Right. 1891 01:20:46,513 --> 01:20:50,600 Would you mind if I hold this up and kiss you on the lips? 1892 01:20:51,101 --> 01:20:51,976 Please? 1893 01:20:56,147 --> 01:20:57,691 The president, as you know, 1894 01:20:57,691 --> 01:21:00,318 has a pretty darn good sense of humor. 1895 01:21:01,319 --> 01:21:03,738 And he felt that maybe the only way 1896 01:21:03,738 --> 01:21:05,865 to really understand somebody 1897 01:21:05,865 --> 01:21:08,159 was to see what makes them laugh. 1898 01:21:08,159 --> 01:21:10,495 Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World 1899 01:21:10,495 --> 01:21:12,247 was an interesting experience. 1900 01:21:12,247 --> 01:21:15,166 We'd like for you to head up a project. 1901 01:21:15,166 --> 01:21:18,086 Take a month, go to India and Pakistan, 1902 01:21:18,086 --> 01:21:19,963 write a 500-page report, 1903 01:21:19,963 --> 01:21:22,507 and tell us what makes the Muslims laugh. 1904 01:21:22,507 --> 01:21:24,968 You'd be doing a hell of a service for your country. 1905 01:21:24,968 --> 01:21:28,013 Things were getting crazy in our world. 1906 01:21:28,013 --> 01:21:32,976 Right. - And... I sort of wanted to show 1907 01:21:32,976 --> 01:21:36,354 that you could say the word "Muslim" and not be killed. 1908 01:21:36,354 --> 01:21:41,693 Tonight's a very special night because by what you laugh at, 1909 01:21:41,693 --> 01:21:44,946 you're gonna teach me who you are. 1910 01:21:46,698 --> 01:21:49,951 Why is there no Halloween in India? 1911 01:21:49,951 --> 01:21:52,454 'Cause they took away the Gandhi. 1912 01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:56,041 All right. I've been, you know, 1913 01:21:56,041 --> 01:21:57,876 touring around your lovely country. 1914 01:21:57,876 --> 01:22:00,712 I was in Kashmir last weekend. 1915 01:22:00,712 --> 01:22:03,131 Went to visit one of my sweaters. 1916 01:22:05,425 --> 01:22:08,386 You know what I'm thinking here? And possibly this is our fault 1917 01:22:08,386 --> 01:22:10,847 because we put a couple of different languages 1918 01:22:10,847 --> 01:22:12,390 on the fliers. 1919 01:22:12,390 --> 01:22:14,559 How many understand me? 1920 01:22:14,559 --> 01:22:17,604 If you speak English, would you raise your hand? 1921 01:22:17,604 --> 01:22:22,192 How many? All of you? Oh, God. 1922 01:22:22,192 --> 01:22:24,277 The picture was supposed to come out in the fall. 1923 01:22:24,277 --> 01:22:27,906 They had made all the posters. They had made everything. 1924 01:22:27,906 --> 01:22:29,908 Then the Danish cartoons happened. 1925 01:22:29,908 --> 01:22:33,536 - Oh, yes, yes. - And Sony said, 1926 01:22:33,536 --> 01:22:37,165 "We can't release a movie with the word 'Muslim' in it." 1927 01:22:37,165 --> 01:22:39,668 And they said, "If you don't change it 1928 01:22:39,668 --> 01:22:43,171 to Looking for Comedy, we're not gonna release it." 1929 01:22:43,171 --> 01:22:48,510 And I said, "I made the movie for the title. It's the point." 1930 01:22:48,510 --> 01:22:53,348 So, after a big studio drops you for a specific reason, 1931 01:22:53,348 --> 01:22:56,393 other studios start to go, "Maybe they know something. 1932 01:22:56,393 --> 01:22:57,852 - Why do we wanna--" - Yeah, yeah. 1933 01:22:57,852 --> 01:22:59,938 So, anyway, they threw us to the curb 1934 01:22:59,938 --> 01:23:02,774 and we went with Warner Independent. 1935 01:23:02,774 --> 01:23:04,693 - Right. - I remember, we had a meeting. 1936 01:23:04,693 --> 01:23:05,944 You know, these meetings 1937 01:23:05,944 --> 01:23:08,446 where they give you the advertising plan. 1938 01:23:08,446 --> 01:23:11,282 And I came in and I was waiting for, you know, 1939 01:23:11,282 --> 01:23:13,201 what television stations, what-- 1940 01:23:13,201 --> 01:23:15,787 And they were trying to make it a good thing. 1941 01:23:15,787 --> 01:23:17,622 "We're not gonna go TV." 1942 01:23:17,622 --> 01:23:19,082 "Really?" 1943 01:23:19,082 --> 01:23:21,459 "No, no. The world's changing. 1944 01:23:21,459 --> 01:23:24,796 We're gonna do something much more interesting." 1945 01:23:24,796 --> 01:23:26,047 "What?" 1946 01:23:26,047 --> 01:23:29,384 "Well, we're gonna do a little thing on Jdate." 1947 01:23:30,135 --> 01:23:33,847 "Oh, God!" And you leave saying, 1948 01:23:33,847 --> 01:23:36,808 "It's dead. There's nothing I can do." 1949 01:23:36,808 --> 01:23:38,059 Wow. Wow. 1950 01:23:38,059 --> 01:23:39,894 Now, let me tell you the funny thing. 1951 01:23:39,894 --> 01:23:41,479 You know where the movie premiered? 1952 01:23:41,479 --> 01:23:43,773 At the Dubai Film Festival. Wow. 1953 01:23:43,773 --> 01:23:47,444 They asked me to watch it with the head, the sheikh. 1954 01:23:47,444 --> 01:23:48,445 Right. 1955 01:23:48,445 --> 01:23:50,905 So, I went up there into this little balcony. 1956 01:23:50,905 --> 01:23:53,283 It's five of his friends 1957 01:23:53,283 --> 01:23:56,578 and five women sitting in the other section. 1958 01:23:56,578 --> 01:23:59,164 And people were just on the phone the whole time. 1959 01:23:59,164 --> 01:24:01,666 - Wow. Yeah, yeah. - But I had a joke in that movie 1960 01:24:01,666 --> 01:24:04,336 that I was waiting to see what they would do. 1961 01:24:04,336 --> 01:24:07,672 And that's when I was in India interviewing assistants. 1962 01:24:07,672 --> 01:24:10,759 I interviewed one after another after another. 1963 01:24:10,759 --> 01:24:12,886 And this one woman came 1964 01:24:12,886 --> 01:24:14,429 and I asked her all these questions. 1965 01:24:14,429 --> 01:24:16,139 "Do you think you know-- Do you know the city? 1966 01:24:16,139 --> 01:24:17,390 Can you type?" 1967 01:24:17,390 --> 01:24:19,184 And then she said, "I can do all of that. 1968 01:24:19,184 --> 01:24:20,643 I have a question for you." 1969 01:24:20,643 --> 01:24:22,228 You're not a Jew, are you? 1970 01:24:24,647 --> 01:24:29,319 Um... not... this minute. 1971 01:24:29,319 --> 01:24:32,238 I mean, sometimes I-- I am. 1972 01:24:32,238 --> 01:24:33,823 How much of the time? 1973 01:24:33,823 --> 01:24:35,617 Part-time. 1974 01:24:35,617 --> 01:24:40,163 And I was waiting for that, sitting next to the sheikh. 1975 01:24:40,163 --> 01:24:41,956 You know, and he got off his phone. 1976 01:24:41,956 --> 01:24:44,292 "You're not a Jew, are you?" Off the phone. 1977 01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:47,587 Looked up at the screen. "Not all the time." 1978 01:24:47,587 --> 01:24:49,047 Big laugh. Wow. 1979 01:24:49,047 --> 01:24:50,799 Big laugh from the women. Wow. 1980 01:24:50,799 --> 01:24:52,217 Back to the phones. 1981 01:24:53,134 --> 01:24:54,469 I mean, I'm listening to all of this 1982 01:24:54,469 --> 01:24:57,472 and I'm getting a person who's been defending his life. 1983 01:24:57,472 --> 01:24:59,015 You've been defending yourself against-- 1984 01:24:59,015 --> 01:25:01,351 Every goddamn minute. Yeah. 1985 01:25:01,351 --> 01:25:03,561 And it still doesn't stop. Yeah. Yeah. 1986 01:25:03,561 --> 01:25:06,481 It just enters another phase of defending. 1987 01:25:06,481 --> 01:25:07,440 Yeah. 1988 01:25:07,440 --> 01:25:11,444 I had a very famous agent and he said to me, 1989 01:25:11,444 --> 01:25:15,073 "I don't know why you always take the hard road." 1990 01:25:15,073 --> 01:25:17,325 Yeah, yeah. - And my answer was, 1991 01:25:17,325 --> 01:25:20,286 "You think I see two roads... 1992 01:25:21,204 --> 01:25:22,706 and I don't." Wow. 1993 01:25:22,706 --> 01:25:26,626 "If there was an easy road, I'd have a house there." 1994 01:25:26,626 --> 01:25:28,545 I said, "What do you think, I get up, 1995 01:25:28,545 --> 01:25:31,548 I can't wait for the goddamn trouble 1996 01:25:31,548 --> 01:25:32,924 I'm gonna get into?" 1997 01:25:32,924 --> 01:25:36,386 I said, "I don't see-- I see one road!" 1998 01:25:36,386 --> 01:25:42,726 This... is the real me. 1999 01:25:43,226 --> 01:25:44,811 Thank you very much. 2000 01:25:44,811 --> 01:25:47,272 I hope to see you again some time. 2001 01:25:50,108 --> 01:25:52,277 ♪ (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2002 01:26:10,337 --> 01:26:11,671 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 2003 01:26:11,671 --> 01:26:13,340 - ♪ (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - I remember, 2004 01:26:13,340 --> 01:26:15,383 the first time I met him was here. 2005 01:26:15,383 --> 01:26:17,469 At-- at our house? - Yeah. 2006 01:26:17,469 --> 01:26:21,473 And he came up, and he said some nice complimentary things to me. 2007 01:26:21,473 --> 01:26:24,893 And I thought, "Oh, well--" I mean, that was-- 2008 01:26:24,893 --> 01:26:27,395 that was a big night for me... Yeah. Yeah. 2009 01:26:27,395 --> 01:26:31,274 ...that I had Albert Brooks's approval. 2010 01:26:31,274 --> 01:26:33,318 Wow. - That really meant a lot to me. 2011 01:26:33,318 --> 01:26:35,904 I-- I met Albert with Garry Shandling. 2012 01:26:35,904 --> 01:26:37,697 And we went out to dinner with him. 2013 01:26:37,697 --> 01:26:38,656 I remember I went home 2014 01:26:38,656 --> 01:26:40,867 and wrote down everything Albert said. 2015 01:26:42,660 --> 01:26:45,372 I think my main memory of him is, like, him in the house 2016 01:26:45,372 --> 01:26:48,500 in a bathrobe, like, kind of just moseying around, 2017 01:26:48,500 --> 01:26:51,002 but he had this, like, lion brain where he would just, 2018 01:26:51,002 --> 01:26:53,338 like, you know, he's so freaking smart. 2019 01:26:53,338 --> 01:26:57,258 I am, like, the hardest to get a laugh out of, 2020 01:26:57,258 --> 01:27:01,554 so he always likes to imitate me when he tells jokes 2021 01:27:01,554 --> 01:27:03,932 and it's like-- You know? 2022 01:27:03,932 --> 01:27:05,100 That's it. 2023 01:27:05,100 --> 01:27:08,353 He's such a mensch, you know? Such a mensch. 2024 01:27:08,353 --> 01:27:11,773 When I was, like, invited to go on a walk with him, 2025 01:27:11,773 --> 01:27:16,194 it was like-- I felt like I had done something right 2026 01:27:16,194 --> 01:27:17,862 in my comedic career. 2027 01:27:17,862 --> 01:27:20,031 He suggested, "Well, we could get together." 2028 01:27:20,031 --> 01:27:21,366 And he said, "You know, 2029 01:27:21,366 --> 01:27:25,245 if that's not a good time for you, you can say 'No.'" 2030 01:27:25,245 --> 01:27:27,455 He said, "You won't be hurting my feelings." 2031 01:27:27,455 --> 01:27:29,374 He said, "I left my feelings 2032 01:27:29,374 --> 01:27:32,168 on the Warner Brothers lot in 1978." 2033 01:27:34,421 --> 01:27:37,048 I think he unapologetically played to the band, 2034 01:27:37,048 --> 01:27:38,258 you know, which was cool. 2035 01:27:38,258 --> 01:27:39,884 If you're watching it, you enjoyed it. 2036 01:27:39,884 --> 01:27:42,429 Because if you got it, you really felt special. 2037 01:27:42,429 --> 01:27:45,557 Just fearless, funny. 2038 01:27:45,557 --> 01:27:48,393 He's so fucking hot. 2039 01:27:48,393 --> 01:27:50,020 He got a wife? Yes. 2040 01:27:50,020 --> 01:27:51,354 Yeah. Okay. 2041 01:27:51,354 --> 01:27:53,982 Well, you know, I was gonna offer up my uterus but... 2042 01:27:53,982 --> 01:27:55,358 I see. - ...I'm cool. 2043 01:27:55,358 --> 01:27:56,735 If I could get one tattoo, 2044 01:27:56,735 --> 01:27:59,612 maybe I'd get the nest egg tattooed somewhere on my body. 2045 01:27:59,612 --> 01:28:03,867 He will always be a filmmaker's filmmaker. 2046 01:28:03,867 --> 01:28:07,203 You had to put him with Woody and Chaplin and those people 2047 01:28:07,203 --> 01:28:09,289 who controlled all parts of their film, 2048 01:28:09,289 --> 01:28:11,082 who made it an extension of themselves. 2049 01:28:11,082 --> 01:28:12,876 And what you didn't want to happen 2050 01:28:12,876 --> 01:28:14,544 watching an Albert Brooks movie, 2051 01:28:14,544 --> 01:28:16,129 you'd never wanted the scenes 2052 01:28:16,129 --> 01:28:17,547 to ever end. Wow. 2053 01:28:17,547 --> 01:28:19,507 It's just a body of work over time 2054 01:28:19,507 --> 01:28:24,262 that is so singular, and impressive, and hilarious, 2055 01:28:24,262 --> 01:28:26,306 and heartbreaking. 2056 01:28:26,306 --> 01:28:29,267 I would rather have Albert's career than my career. 2057 01:28:29,267 --> 01:28:30,518 Wow. 2058 01:28:32,937 --> 01:28:35,440 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪