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Mom, he's taking all the chicken!
Can you just wait until everyone's at the table?
Hey, still going to camp out tonight?
We're too old for that stuff.
I know, I was just kidding.
Besides, I'm going to a party tonight.
We talked about that. The answer is no.
I'm literally missing the party of the year
for a family dinner?
Everyone's going to be there.
- Not everyone. - Shut up, Max!
Oh gosh, please stop shouting at your brother.
Taylor's having dinner with us?
Something's going down.
So, your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you
all in the same place about something important.
Mm-hmm. It's--
- This is important. - I just said that.
- I understand. - Yeah, okay.
Okay, so your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you,
because we've decided that we need to make a change.
No way.
- What are you talking about? - They're getting divorced.
- No, no, no. It's just-- - It's a trial separation.
I don't want-- You're going on trial?
No, no, no, we're just going to live apart.
- Yeah, we're not. - I don't wanna go on trial.
- They're not going on trial. - There is no trial.
They're getting divorced, that's what that means.
- For forever, just say it! - Oh, gosh!
Guys, would you please just listen to me for a moment.
- Taylor-- - Why are you on trial?
Oh, so you're going to just get up and leave.
I'm waiting!
Well, at least
I won't have to get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there if I were you.
All right, so...
we're doing it tonight at dinner.
- Where will you stay? - I don't really know.
Dan's got an extra room.
- Oh, his place is disgusting. - Yeah.
I don't suppose you want to move out.
Don't put it on me.
Max!
Mom! He's doing it again!
Hey, Max!
You're going to talk to Taylor.
Yeah, and then you talk to Max and Emma.
- I know, I know. - Mom, he's doing it!
- Stop! - Stop it.
Guys, guys, listen. This is important.
No excuses, we need everyone at dinner.
Seriously? Tonight?
- Will we have favorite chicken? - Yeah, sure, sweetie.
No, wait, but Jimmy's having a party tonight.
It's always the best party of the year.
Everyone's counting on me to be there.
You're 16.
What's everyone counting on you for?
- God, Dad. - Is Jacob going to be there?
What?
I don't-- I don't know. Who cares about him?
He'll definitely be there.
Don't you have a plate to bang on?
Hey, don't hit your brother.
Oh, my God. Stop.
- Hit me again. - That is enough.
Thank you.
- Oh, no. - God, Jimmy!
Eric!
- Oh. - What?
Well, we gave away everything else
my father had in storage.
What are we supposed to do with a giant,
broken clock that nobody wants?
This is a rare antique, Jen.
- It's kind of creepy. - Go wait in the car.
Don't you feel like we should be
clearing stuff away right now,
with everything that we're going through?
Yeah, I'll-- I'll have them
- put it in the basement. - No.
You know how Taylor feels about change.
Well, you can tell Taylor about it
- when you tell him about dinner. - That was not part of our deal.
- And I'll tell Emma. - No.
Yeah. Emma!
- Basement's this way. - Basement.
You guys got it?
- Let's get down there. - I'm so sorry.
All right. Bring it down. Rotate.
Yeah, just leave it at the bottom
of the stairs, honestly.
Hey, Mom.
Oh. Hey, Taylor.
They can bring the clock over here.
What is that?
The clock can help you now and then,
but only you can change events.
Huh. Hokey.
This is between you and your dad.
If you want to pull it apart, or throw it from a cliff,
you can, but just don't pull that
over on yourself, it looks pretty heavy.
12-hour repeater.
There's something else I need to talk to you about.
You want me to be at dinner tonight?
Yeah. How'd you know that?
Now, get the door.
Huh.
- Hi. - Hey.
Another package
- for young Taylor. - Huh.
Still adding on to his computer, eh?
- Never ends. - Don't we have to go?
Oh, yes. You got your bag?
It's on my back.
What was--
Ew, gross!
- It's on your shoe. - Disgusting!
Oh, God!
♪ I got bad intentions for you ♪
Why doesn't Emma take me anymore?
Oh, honey, she just wants to drive alone right now.
She never wants to be with me anymore.
- Is she sick of me? - She's sick of everyone.
I kind of feel like Taylor got the best deal of all of us.
- Taylor? - Yeah.
I mean, because he has all these issues
that were diagnosed by professionals,
he gets to sit in the basement all day playing video games.
Honey, Taylor has a really hard time.
I mean, can you imagine not wanting to be touched,
not wanting to go outside?
Today, he was actually fixing Grandpa's clock.
- That old piece of shit? - Max!
Yeah. That old piece of shit.
Let's turn that bar to four.
We're here together, guys.
- Let's do this, people! - This is our moment.
We're going to take it. No negativity.
Let's be positive!
What an incredible session in there.
Oh, thanks.
Sorry about that brutal class.
I'm clearly working through some feelings.
Are you kidding me?
I feel like you took me to a whole new level in there.
- Really? - Yeah. Yeah.
I'm really excited about tomorrow's private session.
Oh, actually, you need to get me a signed release.
My studio doesn't want to be sued by some rich lawyer.
I would never sue you, Jen. Never.
I would totally sue anybody you want me to.
Oh, I mean, I'm sure that won't be necessary, but--
No, no, no, I'm serious, Jen.
Just think of me as your legal eagle.
Ready to dive in and eviscerate anybody in a moment's notice.
Really?
What the hell?
- What did you do to my car? - You didn't see him?
- See what? - The kid.
He ran into the middle of the street.
- I barely missed him! - Taylor?
Do you have insurance?
Taylor?
Oh.
Taylor, did you just--
Did you leave the house, honey?
Oh, wow, you fixed Grandpa's clock?
Wait, is that the time?
Okay, I'm late for an appointment.
I've got to go.
If you want to go out the house, just don't do it alone, okay?
I love you.
I love you, too.
Have you noticed anything unusual about Taylor lately?
I saw him this morning.
Dropped a package off to him.
Really?
Yeah, Jennifer. Is that so surprising to you?
No, no, I didn't mean that. I went to the basement.
He's my son, too, so sometimes I--
I just felt like I was wondering, because
- when I went down to the-- - [INDISTINCT] with him.
Hello.
Let's save some of that for our space,
- shall we? - Okay.
Yes.
So, um-- so, it's happening tonight.
Mm.
Oh, yes.
As we talked about last week.
So, hashtag splitting up.
How are you going to communicate this to the three of them?
Their family dynamic...
- is about to change. - Well, we don't know.
That's-- that's why we're here, seeing you.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Is that what you would like to talk about?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
That's-- that's why we're here.
Great. Eric?
Yes?
Would you like to contribute to this?
Sure, I'm just tired...
- Mm-hmm. - ...of it all.
The distrust, the...
disinterest...
- the dislike. - Mm.
If we're going to be single,
maybe it's best just to get this over with.
- Okay. - Better for everyone.
I hear you, brother. I hear you.
- So, here's what we'll do. Okay? - Okay.
We will approach how you would like
this conversation with your children...
...unspooling.
Oh, we don't know how to unspool it.
That's why we're here. That's why we're talking to you.
Right, uh--
I'm sensing a little bit of anger from you, Jen,
if I'm going to be honest with you.
And I think that you should get your vitamin D tested.
You could schedule a test from Quest.
- Right at your home. - So, I'm not angry, actually.
And there's nothing wrong
- with my vitamin D. - Mm...
Can I just say you're diminishing my feelings
by putting them all down to a physical ailment.
I have a teenage daughter who hates me half the time.
I've got a son who doesn't. He doesn't want to be touched.
I'm splitting up
- from my husband. - Mm-hmm.
And you know what the worst part is?
We're paying you to water your plants.
Technically, Jen, not to correct you,
but they are not plants.
You know, they-- they are flowering plants.
But they're not flowers or plants.
It's important we use the right terminology.
His obsession with flowers really bugs me.
Jennifer, I believe
it's a flowering plant obsession.
And have you noticed he starts spritzing
every time he talks about anger?
Yes! My gosh.
Who-- who recommended him?
They're in your bag.
Oh!
Hey, I got a little break.
I don't suppose you want to, um,
I don't know, go back to the...
house, you know?
Take a nap or whatever?
Are you serious?
We're still married.
In some countries, you'd have to.
Eric.
Hey.
I thought this was your office.
It is. Sometimes.
Please, sit down.
And here you go.
You could have scanned this.
Oh, this is a lot more fun, right?
Uh, I have to confirm.
There's no nuts in any of this, right?
- None. - All right. Let's do this.
This is the best tamponade in town.
I can't think of anybody else
I'd rather share it with than you.
You're going to love it.
Jen, this might be a little out of line, but...
I care for you.
While I might not know too much about your personal life,
I can see that you're not happy right now.
Come on, please.
Tell me how I can help.
Are you okay?
No.
How can I be okay when you're unhappy?
Something's happening.
You feel it, too?
It's true.
I've had a connection with you ever since I met you.
No, something is happening to your face.
Your face is all puffy and red.
- I'll call 911. - No.
EpiPen. EpiPen. My car.
- EpiPen. - Oh, God.
Richard, are you okay?
Where is it?
- Okay. Get in the car. - My window!
- Speak to me! - Compartment.
Oh! Found it. It's okay.
Everything's under control.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Oh, God.
Why do I feel like we should be smoking cigarettes?
Please.
Come for the man whose life you just saved.
I-- I can't believe they gave you peanuts
after everything that you said.
It's not peanuts. It's tree nuts.
Like almonds.
What is it?
I'm sorry.
- Everything okay? - Oh.
Hey, Emma. How are you?
Yeah. I'm so sorry. I just lost track of time.
Wait. What? He's what?
- When did you last see him? - Till tomorrow.
That went good.
- Taylor? - Mom? Mom, Taylor left.
I didn't know where you were.
- Is he back? - No, he left the house.
He never leaves the house. He's not here.
- Hey, Taylor? - [INDISTINCT] the basement.
Oh! Oh, my God, Taylor. What a relief.
Mom, what's your problem? He doesn't like to be touched.
I know, honey.
Don't ever go out of the house alone.
Do you understand? What were you doing?
What is your problem?
Taylor, where were you?
Were you at the restaurant right now?
- What restaurant? - Psycho much?
Chill, Mom. He's fine.
At least we're having favorite chicken
for dinner tonight.
Oh.
- Thank you for saving the day. - Well.
Just do what I'm told.
You know, for months, I've been just so confident
that we're doing the right thing and then...
today I'm like...
...what are we doing?
Jen.
Come on, we--
Listen. We-- we-- we can wait, okay?
We don't have to tell them tonight.
All right?
Thank you.
Happy to see me?
What? Why?
You have a bulge in your pocket.
- Really? - Just right there.
- I felt it. - Oh. Yes.
Student had an allergic reaction,
so I had to give him an injection.
- You? - Uh-huh.
- You did this? You hate needles. - Right?
- I had to give him an injection. - Oh, my gosh.
Was there nobody at the studio to do this?
You must have freaked.
Oh, we were at a restaurant.
I guess somebody, um-- somebody gave him almonds.
Restaurant? Who-- who-- who-- who's the guy?
Uh, Richard. Richard.
- Who? - Um, he's a-- Yeah.
He's a-- a young guy thatjust joined my class.
Huh?
But, you know, nothing happened.
I mean, we held hands and--
Well, that's it, so...
Congratulations.
Wait, wha--
I can't hold hands with somebody when you're moving out?
I knew it'd be a student.
I'm literally missing the party of the year
for a family dinner?
- Everyone's going to be there. - Not everyone.
Shut up, Max.
Guys, everybody stop fighting, please.
Taylor's having dinner with us?
So, your dad and I, um...
We wanted to talk to the three of you,
all in the same place, um,
about something really important.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is important.
- I already said that. - I know you did.
Okay. So, anyway, you're--
Taylor, um-- Tay-- I haven't even--
Hey, we're not done talking here.
Taylor, sweetie!
Taylor!
Max!
Hey!
Mom, he's doing it again!
Hey!
Max, stop.
Stop. Mom!
Mom, he's doing it again.
- Make him stop. - Hey, listen up.
This is important. We need everyone at dinner.
- Seriously? - Mm-hmm.
Tonight?
Okay. All right, honey.
I'm going to dispense with all the formalities
and just bribe you.
What will it take to get you at dinner, huh?
Why are you doing this to me?
Uh, it's not--
It's just tonight, honey, okay?
Tomorrow night, you can go out with Jacob.
Till 10:30 at night.
11.
11:30?
I told you, I don't even want to go out with him.
It doesn't have to be Jacob.
It could be any of the Old Testament prophets.
I'll-- I'll pay for non-alcoholic beverages
and G-rated movies and...
abstinence pamphlets.
Thank you.
- Whatever. - I mean it.
Notjust for this, for everything, I--
We never have to worry about you.
You've never been able to worry about me.
There's a difference.
Um...
I have to tell you something, Jacob.
I can't go to Jamie's party anymore.
- My parents need me at dinner. - Uh--
Emma!
I bought these.
An entire box. Very optimistic.
Let's just do it at my place. Right now.
You have a death metal bedspread.
And little planes hanging above your bed.
Okay, they're Jedi Starfighters.
Oh, my God.
This is why you're still a virgin.
Guess I lucked out then.
Say, good sir.
Why do you start and things that do sound so fair.
All hail Macbeth. Hail to the king--
What's this about you not going to Jamie's party?
My parents. They want me at some dinner.
Hey, uh-- Good stuff...
witches.
And on stage, he's so good at killing people.
Hey.
Eva, can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
Oh, whatever.
After all, he already bought an entire box.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah.
You know, life's but a walking shadow.
You're doing really well, by the way.
Yeah, the-- the scene.
Thanks.
So are you.
And I'm not just saying that
because my character would.
All hail!
You know, they're, um-- they're showing
Denzel's version at the university.
Um, I thought it'd be fun
to see, you know, his interpretation
of the Scottish play.
I thought that maybe we could do that or something else,
- or just, you know, that-- - Are you...
- asking me to the movie? - No.
Maybe. Yes, yeah. I-- Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah? Oh-- Great.
Uh, okay, um--
Well, so, yeah, it's-- it's tonight.
So, we cou--
I can't.
Why is everything happening tonight?
Emma. Emma, your--
Your mother called the office.
There's been some kind of family emergency.
Oh, my God.
Cool. Cool, cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Mom?
Mom? Dad?
Taylor, is Mom here?
You promised Mom you wouldn't use her voice anymore.
Hello, Emma.
I'm speaking to you as a British pop star,
so you'll pay closer attention.
I can't believe this.
I thought there was an emergency.
There is an emergency.
At dinner, Mom and Dad will separate.
I need your help to keep them together.
That's what this dinner's about?
I mean, I knew they were having problems,
but Mom said they were working them out.
How do you know this?
The clock can turn back time.
Up to 12 hours.
What? Come on.
I found out when I fixed it
the first day it came.
That's today. It came this morning.
This is the 23rd version of today.
Which is how I know that Mom and Dad are splitting up
at the end of it.
And how I know the next words you're going to say.
This is stupid.
Yeah, of course you knew that. This is stupid.
Um, how about this?
Blueberry buttercup fatty pickles.
I think I know how to stop Mom,
but I need your help with Dad.
They're making a big mistake.
How do you know it's a mistake?
I mean, better now than later.
Spoiler alert. Love sucks.
It never lasts.
Jacob's a wanker.
Mom and Dad are different.
Oh, God!
You're done barfing, right?
'Cause I just cleaned my car.
Yeah? Oh--
We're off to a flying start.
Pull over. Here.
Sorry we haven't spent much time together lately.
We don't really talk much anymore, do we?
I know we're not supposed to talk about
the not talking, but...
You can talk, right?
You just don't want to?
Look...
I don't blame you.
Most of what people say is really stupid.
I just wonder if...
Taylor, where are you going?
Taylor, what are you doing?
Oh, my God.
Goddamn. What did you do to my car?
You didn't see him?
- See what? - The kid!
Dude, what the hell just happened?
The car almost hit you. You almost got killed.
Oh, my God.
If Mom and Dad knew what you were doing
right now, you'd be so grounded.
I love being grounded.
But that was the easy part. Now is where I need your help.
Look at him.
No wonder they're in trouble.
Mom's beautiful, and he's a mess.
It's like he's not even trying anymore.
And he's smoking again? He's such a loser.
How is that our dad?
It's all we have to work with.
Yeah, I know.
I have an idea, but we need money.
Taylor, is that real?
How did you get it?
The stock market.
Is that totally ethical?
It's for a good cause, right?
Okay, so you're gonna say to him,
"It's a promotion, and we're giving free haircuts
to everyone in the office, and it's your turn."
I don't like lying.
How short do you want it?
We have 60 seconds.
Is this absolutely necessary?
No. Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Um...
She noticed his haircut, at least.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, they're going somewhere together.
Like, this is great.
I've never gotten them this far.
This is huge. They went home together.
We actually did it.
We'll see at dinner.
I know...
I acted like I didn't care when you first told me.
I guess...
I guess it's just easier
to act like you literally don't care, right?
Because you don't have any control of these things
that are happening to you.
The truth is, I can't imagine Mom and Dad apart.
Oh, crap. Mom's leaving by herself.
La Marmotte?
What were you doing in the kitchen?
And who's that weird guy with Mom?
I'm not breaking into anyone's car.
I'm not doing it.
I'm not strong enough.
Please. I'll explain later.
Get back.
That's an EpiPen. It could save someone's life.
Oh, my God. You're not even breathing.
Where's the EpiPen?
Oh, God. Not my window.
Right there.
Oh, God. I found it.
Okay.
I'm putting it there! I'm putting it there!
Let's do it.
What?
Killing Mom's new boyfriend isn't going to solve anything.
She needs a shock, but not that kind of a shock.
Oh, thank God.
She needs a vision.
Don't forget to stop at the Mini-Mart
and buy favorite chicken for dinner tonight.
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm on my way.
- Till tomorrow! - Who's that?
Uh, just some crazy man
yelling at me from the street.
Bye.
It's Showtime.
Hey, Siri. Call Dylan.
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
Out, out, brief candle!
It is a tale told by an idiot
Filled with sound and fury, Signifying nothing."
"My spouse has died,
but yours still lives.
A chance to change your fate and fate to you alone gives.
See the light and change your way.
Change your way...
and change today."
It was really okay?
Oh, my God. It was so much better than okay.
You totally blew her mind.
Okay. And-- and what was that part at the end?
Uh, that wasn't in the play.
I wrote it to fit the occasion.
Wow, you're really good.
Thank you.
Um...
thank you again so much for doing this.
- I-- - Yeah.
- Um... - Uh...
- I'll see you tomorrow. - Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorr--
Hey, MacBeth!
Move it!
- Hey, Mom. - Oh, hey, kids.
- How was your day? - Huh, weird.
Oh, yeah. I guess so.
No, I'm sorry. I forgot about that.
I just, uh, saw it lying by the side of the street.
I thought that could stab somebody.
- Who would leave it there? - Hmm.
- Maybe a crazy man? - Hey, everybody.
Oh, oh, hey, hon.
- Can we talk? - Yeah.
Looks good, right?
Your father and I wanted to talk to the three of you
all in the same place about something important.
But we're not gonna do that tonight.
Instead, we're just gonna have a nice family dinner, all right?
- Right. - Dig in.
I'm gonna have this.
Now, thank you very much.
Are you-- are you kidding me?
Dylan Barlow.
I knew it. I knew his face.
I couldn't remember his name.
He's your friend, right?
No. Yes.
How do you know Dylan?
Well, his mom takes my Wednesday morning class,
and he just followed me around a supermarket...
- doing Shakespeare quotes. - Huh?
That's really weird. Why would he do that?
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna find out, actually.
What are you doing? I'm just gonna text his mom.
No, stop.
It was my idea.
I...
thought that it would change your plans, and...
it did, right?
My plans?
With Dad.
To get divorced.
- What? - Hey-- wait, no.
No, that's-- that's not what's happening.
- Have you been spying on us? - Emma!
- Yeah, but I-- - There is no but.
We do not snoop in this house.
We just don't.
We face each other from a place of honesty.
Oh, yeah?
Is that what you told the weird guy you met for drinks
before you went to his car and pulled down his pants?
- Emma! - Emma.
What are you-- What is she talking about?
Oh, a new private. We met at a restaurant.
He had an allergic reaction.
It was nothing, but I had to give him an injection.
- You hate needles. - Mm-hmm.
Congratulations.
Mom and I are separating, everybody.
I knew it would be a student.
Sweetie! No.
No. E-- Emma!
Emma!
W-- wait. What's happening?
- Emma! - Just wait, sweetie.
Guys.
Fuck. Piece of shit.
Listen, we didn't mean to spring it on you like that.
You know--
Well,
At least I won't have to get used to sleeping alone.
I wouldn't go there if I were you.
So...
we're doing it tonight.
Where will you stay?
I-- I don't really know. Da-- Dan has an extra room.
Dan? His place is disgusting.
I don't suppose you want to move out?
Don't put it on me.
Max!
Hey! Max!
What do you want? I'm rocking out.
Well, rock out in your own room.
With your own headphones. Nobody wants to hear this.
- That's not true. - And leave your sister alone.
Why are you-- why are you always annoying her?
See this space? Stay away.
So you're gonna tell Taylor about dinner.
Then you're gonna talk to Max and Emma.
Yes, yes.
Guys, Mom and I need everyone at...
...dinner.
It looks a lot worse than when we put it in storage.
What does it matter? It doesn't work.
It's kind of creepy.
It's got these scuff marks all over it.
Got a scratch up here.
Looks like the minute hand's missing.
You guys didn't drop it, did you?
- Not yet. - Take it down to the basement.
Taylor and I think we can fix it.
Taylor? Are you...
Wow.
That's incredible.
Don't touch it.
It's very fragile.
Oh, right.
Of course.
Uh, amazing.
Uh, there's a package here for President Obama himself.
Wow.
Well, that is amazing.
Why are you moving out tonight?
Taylor?
Were you listening in on our conversation?
Because you know,
we've talked to you about listening before, and--
Well, that is amazing.
Promise me that you'll never leave us.
Oh, God.
I love you and your sister, your brother so much.
I never wanted--
Well, that is amazing.
Are things okay between you and Mom?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fine.
No matter what happens...
I love you and your brother and sister very much.
Fist bump?
All right.
I'll see you a little later, all right?
Oh.
I forgot my coat.
Hey, Eric.
Charlie.
Do you have a plastic bag?
- No. - Yeah, okay.
Never mind.
Hey, Devan. What's up?
I'm sorry, Mr. D.,
but I got some not-so-great news about your apartment.
Apparently, Harry Styles called
and wanted your apartment for his LA pied-à-terre,
offered a bunch of cash, and they gave it to him.
- Not cool. - What-- what are--
- What are you talking about? - And I get it.
I mean, I'm totally a Styler, but also not cool.
No, no, no. Devan?
But the good news is I checked out another place
that we manage that you will love.
I can show it to you this afternoon.
- It's great. - Okay.
Well, then, let's go--
Don't have misgivings. This is part of the process.
- Here. - Oh, thanks, Bill.
How's Devan? Is he helping?
Uh, yeah.
- He's a-- he's a real go-getter. - Yeah.
I don't know what I would've done without him
in my divorces.
Gotta have a bachelor pad.
Wait till you start putting it to good use, right?
How's Justin handling it?
Who?
Justin. Your son.
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, he's great.
I think our relationship's probably...
it's as good as it's ever gonna be, you know?
Uh-huh.
- Uh, I'm gonna go get a latte. - Yeah.
Grab me one, too.
- Hey, Dad. - Oh, God.
Oh.
This is for a friend.
Terrible habit. I should-- he should quit.
- Yeah. - Why aren't you at school?
They canceled it.
You expect me to believe that?
I believe you were holding that cigarette for a friend.
Fair enough. What can I do for you?
Well, I have these gift cards
from your last birthday that you haven't used.
- These? - Yeah.
They're brand-new.
Unlike your smoking habit,
which I'm willing to keep a secret.
If what?
If you let me give you a makeover.
What? Me? No.
Uh, what are you talking about?
- Dad. - Honey,
I really do appreciate the thought
and the general weirdness
of your sudden appearance here,
- but-- - Trust me.
You need one.
Desperately.
Are you sure, honey?
Yes, I'm sure. You look amazing, Dad.
I don't feel like myself, honestly.
Please you just have to be confident.
But when you see Mom, please tell her this was your idea.
- Okay. - Okay?
I had nothing to do with it. You did it for her.
No, no, no, no.
Honey, this isn't a good idea for me
to be lying to your mother right now.
No, you'll be fine. It's fine.
Ooh, what happened to you?
- You like it? - Uh-huh.
Just decided to change my look.
In time for being single?
No, I did it all for you.
Well, I don't believe that.
Emma told me to say that.
She showed up at my work, and she gave me a makeover.
- Emma? - Yeah.
But wasn't she at school?
She said it was canceled.
- That's weird. - Yeah.
Tip of the iceberg.
Weirdest day I've ever experienced.
Well, maybe it's just because you know
- what's happening tonight. - Yeah.
Hey. Hello.
What is the deal with the Diehls?
I-- I don't know.
Let's find out. Let's find out together.
Come on in.
- How are you? - Good.
How are you? Thank you.
I'm great. This is-- this is great.
So, um...
Sorry, family emergency.
So this is happening tonight.
Mmm. Mm-hmm. I hear that.
But what if-- what if it doesn't?
What do we have to do together
to keep you two from uncoupling?
I thought we were telling the kids tonight at dinner,
and that's what we've spoken about.
It feels a little soon. Let's not rush into things.
I'm-- I'm sorry, did-- did something change?
Because last week, you were...
Last week was so last week, am I right?
I say so many things, you know. Words just come out of my mouth.
Ju-- just trying things.
But this week, I'm getting this vibe, right?
That you two are just great people.
Great people who can either,
hey, stay together
or make the same mistakes with less great people.
I don't know, just spitballing here.
Why don't we just stay together, you guys?
Are you serious?
I'm detecting a little bit of anger in that voice.
Well, you just turned around after months of discussion
- and-- and changed your mind. - True.
I don't even know what I'm doing.
There's nothing there.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm keeping you two from burning it all down.
- What are you doing? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Putting out the fire. Cooling you off.
Cool off.
How about a candy, you guys, huh?
Let's sweeten the deal for the Diehls.
Oh!
You just have a great last name.
I don't like my last name,
but we can't pick our Danish stepfathers.
Nothing was ever good enough for him.
I'm okay.
What about when he spritzed us with the water?
Oh, my God. What is wrong with this guy?
- That's so unprofessional. - Who-- who recommended him?
Bill. Bill from your work.
You're right.
- It wa-- it was. - 100%.
And by the way, you have lost, like, ten years.
This haircut is so cute.
Oh.
Does that mean we're touching each other again?
If so, maybe we go back to the house,
take a nap.
Are you serious?
Well, we're still married.
Some countries you'd have to.
Eric. Eric.
Turns out all we needed to do to have a good nap was split up.
No wonder half the country's divorced.
Right.
Why did we stop trying?
I don't know.
It's just easier, right?
Just give in to it.
Entropy.
You ever think there's a way back?
What?
You ever think there--
- What did you say? - Nothing.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Are you all right?
Yeah. Fine.
Ugh.
I got to make a work call. I got a new private.
Mmm. Lucky guy.
How do you know it's a guy?
Lucky guess.
I'll leave you in private, so you make your call
to your private.
What?
Ooh.
Now, as you can see, everything is up-to-the-minute,
cutting-edge, state-of-the-art.
Everything that the modern, hot, single man,
especially with this look, could ask for.
Yeah, okay, and I want to be clear about this.
This place is available immediately.
Oh, yeah, it's all yours. No worries.
And wait till the new hookups see this place.
I'm talking muy enthusiastic consent, hombre.
- Okay. - Okay?
And most of the residents are single,
so you don't have to deal with any annoying kids.
All right, right this way.
All right. Here we go.
And you are going to love this place.
Okay?
Wrong number--
Oh, the gate's a little malfunctioning.
Okay, hold on, let's do a [INDISTINCT].
Here we go.
Welcome to your new bachelor pa--
Oh, my Lord!
Yeah, it was perfect this morning!
You know, I-- I-- I'm sorry, Mr. Diehl.
We'll get this fixed up and have it good as new.
What am I doing?
Oh, God, I forgot about that, yeah.
Who would put it there?
- Hmm. Maybe a crazy man? - What?
Were you two, uh...
What?
Never mind. Um, honey...
can we talk?
Who came up with the idea of a deadline?
Ma-- ma-- maybe we, you know, could do it next week
or a couple of weeks or the first of the month.
But you've talked about being in limbo.
Don't you want to move on with your life as a single guy?
Jen, you know that's not what I want.
And if there's any chance that we can work this out,
isn't it worth waiting a moment?
Do you really believe that?
I know I haven't been...
fully present for a while.
But you know, ever since Taylor was born,
I'm like a ghost in this house.
I certainly fell off your radar.
I just...
I have three kids who--
We have three kids, Jen.
So where have you been?
You're just so much better at it than me.
Especially with Taylor.
I could never reach him.
At all. And I could never reach you.
I just-- I don't know, just checked out.
Like, I've had one foot out the door for months.
But today, something changed, really.
God, I-- I don't want to live my life without...
my family, without my kids...
without you.
How do I know you won't have
one foot out of the door again tomorrow?
I'm right here.
Fully committed.
And you'll let Emma keep dressing you?
Yes, I will.
Oh, Emma, you can go to your party.
Really? Yay!
Whoa.
That's a lot of excitement for a party.
Oh, I'm not going.
I'm just...
happy, you know, to have the option.
Okay.
Dad?
What are you doing?
Uh, you know, my, uh, grandfather always said,
"The clock can help you now and then."
But it was always broken.
I can never figure out the gears or the movements,
but look at that.
Galileo said that a pendulum will stay in motion
unless a force acts to make it stop.
Otherwise, it'll just go forward
and backward and forward and backward.
Your great-grandfather would be very proud of you two.
Text from your realtor?
"Your new bachelor pad is clean and ready."
Uh-oh, no, wait.
I didn't want to do this in front of the kids,
but so much for being fully committed.
No, no, no, this is a miscommunication.
This was supposed to be a trial separation.
You were going to stay at Dan's.
You said Dan's was gross.
I was trying to find a place
that was comfortable for the kids.
Yeah, and for your new girlfriend.
There's no new girlfriend.
Just a lonely bachelor pad.
There's no bachelor pad!
You better hope there is, because you need somewhere
to stay tonight.
And you know what?
It's lucky for you, you have a packed suitcase
under your bed!
- No. - And I saw it!
Jen!
Should I do the honors?
Does he look tired to you?
All right.
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
We steal his phone, that's great!
But we can't be
in three places at once.
Oh, God.
Hey, guys, what are you talking about?
Nothing to do with you.
Why are you guys always leaving me out of stuff?
Ow.
If I'm not in my room or eating breakfast,
he comes down here.
I don't want him involved with this!
- Involved in what? - Have a nice trip.
You better come--
How did you know that was going to happen?
Taylor discovered that Grandpa's clock can turn back time.
Seriously?
- That's so cool! - Wait, no, no, no, stop!
Wow, it really works!
You can't tell anyone about this.
Please, just, I don't know,
go to school like it's a normal day.
But I want to help you guys with whatever you're doing.
Think of us working together.
He turned back the clock.
He's stuck with us now.
Fine.
Max, we can't afford any screw-ups.
This is a very delicate situation.
Mom and Dad are going to break up at dinner
if we don't do everything exactly right.
Wait, what?
Pay attention, Max.
The clock is aging.
It can't take much more.
This day may be our last chance.
Let me help.
They're my mom and dad, too.
It's so obvious Dad packed this and not Mom.
Ten pairs of underwear and two shirts?
So both Max and Emma are sick today?
That sounds so real.
That's even better than the Obama filter.
Hey, guys. What are you doing down here?
I'm going to drive Max to school today,
so you're off the hook.
- To school? - But we just--
And Taylor, honey, did you know that,
um, we're having dinner tonight?
We already told him.
We're all really looking forward to it.
It'll be so nice having dinner together for a change.
- Yeah, it's been a while. - Oh.
- Oh, shoot! Watch out! - What?
A-- are you sure you can afford this?
We made $8,000 day trading this morning.
- Is that like drug dealing? - No.
We knew which stocks were going up in the first hour,
so I put all my babysitting money into them.
Forget Mom and Dad. Let's go to Vegas.
We can get one of those high-roller suites
and have a sibling camp out.
Hi, Mom.
Teacher sent me from school to get information for a report.
Max, what are you--
Max, this is Richard, my student.
What's up, bro? Cool duds.
Yeah, you can leave now.
- Wait, don't be rude. - Right.
- Please leave now. - I'm so sorry.
No, it's cool. It's cool.
I mean, little bro's on a mission.
- Catch you later? - Okay.
Tell me about your first date with Dad.
- How did you get here? - I gotta get back to school.
- Go. First date. - Um, okay, so, uh,
your dad had tickets to a symphony,
and it was classical music, which I'm not into,
but I thought he was cute, so I said yes.
Uh, we went there, and there was this concert hall,
and next to it was a food truck selling beignets.
- A what? - Oh, a beignet.
It's like a donut,
but they don't have a hole in it.
Oh, anyway, so, you know, your dad was like,
"Oh, they smell so good, we have to try one."
We were running late, but I was like,
"Ah, okay, and--"
Oh, God, I'll never forget.
That first bite...
it was so delicious.
And then it started snowing.
It was so crazy, because,
like, it never snows in town.
And it was just so new.
And so exciting.
And it was just like...
the city, your dad, life.
It was just--
It was packed into this one magical moment.
Are you okay?
Um, yeah, yeah, sweetie.
I-- I just hope that someday
you can experience that with someone,
because it really was special.
Is it still in a circle?
- What, sweetie? - Even without the hole.
A beignet?
No, honey, it's-- it's shaped like a square.
- Wait, what's this project for? - I-- I have to go.
Wait, Max, how are you getting back to school?
Symphony, snow, and a beignet truck.
A what truck?
Like a donut, but square in holes.
I have friends in a school orchestra,
but where do we get a beignet truck?
I have an idea about snow.
Does he even care about the fish?
- Oh, I was just taking him-- - Max.
Oh, Nemo?
Oh, no!
I had nothing to do with this, you did this for her.
No, no, no, no, honey, this isn't a good idea for me
to be lying to your mother right now.
It's fine. You're fine.
Harry Styles called.
He wanted your apartment for his L.A. pied-à-terre,
The good news is, I checked out another place
that we manage that you will love.
You can see it right now.
We gotta go. [INDISTINCT]
Really? Not now. This is fun.
This is so much fun, I don't want this day to end.
Don't say that.
Okay.
Hey!
What the hell? What did you do to my car?
Bumblebee stole my phone!
The whole place is trashed.
- In position, make the call. - Good job, Max.
We'll finish everything at home. You know what to do now.
Devan, call for you on my line.
It's Barack Obama.
What?
- Hello? - Is this Devan?
- Yeah, uh, Mr. President. - Devan,
I've been trying to reach you all day.
- Yeah. - I need a [INDISTINCT], man.
Well, what about Michelle?
Okay, well, are the girls coming?
Yeah, believe me.
Maxman to base. Mission accomplished.
Let's do this!
According to Find-A-Phone, you stole--
Your Jen's kid.
- It's Emma and Taylor's fault. - Let's go, Bumblebee.
Oh. Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
Did you?
- I did-- I-- - I did not.
I swear.
Wow.
It was pretty fantastic.
That date.
That whole night.
- Yeah, it was. - It was.
This is unusual.
- Smells good. - Sure does.
Should we get a beignet?
I think we should.
- We're gonna have two beignets. - Come on right up.
Dylan.
- All right, here you guys... - Where's Max?
Hmm. They're just as good as they were back then.
Back then, I was too terrified to even eat.
I was afraid you were gonna slap me when I asked you to kiss me.
I would have kissed you at any time during that date.
I probably would have kissed you hello.
Now you tell me.
So you didn't do this?
I didn't do this.
It was Max.
Our Max?
He grilled me about our first date this morning.
- Wait. Wait, it's snowing? - Snow.
This is fantastic.
I want to stay with you and the kids.
There's no other home for me.
I want you to stay, too.
All right, Stuart Little. Judgment day.
- So what happened? - Find-A-Phone.
- I told you to turn it off. - I forgot.
You know this little dude?
Yeah, he's my brother, unfortunately.
Neither of my parents are home right now,
so thank you for bringing him back,
but I'll just take it from here.
What's going on here?
Nothing.
- Nothing. - Doesn't look like nothing.
So maybe your mom wants to hear about this.
- Let's go. - No, no, no, no.
Let's go, Captain Klepto.
- Tell your mom. - Oh, uh, Richard.
Wha-- what are you doing here?
Your kid stole my phone.
Max, is that true?
I'm sorry, you-- who are you? Who's this guy?
- My student. - I'm a friend.
A friend? How do you know my wife?
- Okay, let's not do this. - Let's not.
I just wanted to let Jen know what a kid was up to.
Eric? Hey, I thought that was you.
- Hey, hey, how you doing? - Hey, all right.
Seems to be someone here has my phone.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Who's this guy?
Devan Andrew. I'm Eric's realtor.
Realtor? Really?
And that bachelor pad? It is ready.
- Wow, are you kidding? - Hey, you know what?
It's all good. I'm just going to get going.
You want to go with him? Beignets, anyone?
Nobody wants a beignet.
Could they turn this off?
We've gotta make this right.
Don't turn it back. Come on.
No bachelor pad.
It's a beautiful pad.
Your timing wasn't exactly great on that.
You need a lawyer.
No, hold on.
Quiet!
Mom and Dad, all we've been trying to do today
is figure out how to keep you guys together.
And you keep on screwing it up.
Okay, Max, we can talk about this inside at dinner, but--
No, we do not want to go to dinner
because that's where you always announce it.
Look, don't take my word for it.
Taylor's relived the day 38 times.
- Max, that's enough. - And every time you screw it up,
Taylor has to rewind Grandpa's old clock.
Taylor?
No, Taylor, I told you I got this!
♪ Hands up! ♪
Max had some sort of seizure this morning.
I'm looking at it now, Doctor. Is there nothing we can do?
The best thing to do is keep him calm.
No surprises or trauma of any kind.
What a hospital are you at?
I think we're gonna need a second opinion.
This is a real emergency.
Are you kidding? Nobody believes you.
God, I miss the days we used to put thermometers on light bulbs.
♪ See what that might entail ♪
♪ I got some slight detail from your homegirl ♪
♪ You know I knew your girlfriend back in the day... ♪
Why would thieves only steal a dining room table?
Why not jewelry?
Okay, so your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you
all in the same place about something important.
Yes, this is important.
No excuses. We need everyone at dinner.
Your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you.
That's one million dollars. And it's yours to keep.
All you have to do is stay married.
Where did that money come from?
FBI! Nobody move!
♪ Yo get your hands in the air, you came to party tonight ♪
♪ We gon' get down, hell yeah ♪
♪ You'll have the time of your life ♪
So your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you.
Well, I thought they weren't pretty good.
It was weird, though. It was like they already knew.
[INDISTINCT] Wait. Hey!
Woohoo!
Get back here!
♪ Alright, alright I get the stage crackin' ♪
♪ Shit, I get major backing ♪
Listen, we need everybody at dinner tonight.
Amazing news!
I just won a playwriting contest that includes
a four-year scholarship to college.
Oh, honey! That's amazing!
- Congratulations. - Um, there's just one condition.
The parents of the winning student
have to stay married for all four years.
That's a very unusual condition for a scholarship.
I mean, it's a religious foundation.
I think they just want to promote marriage, you know?
But it's not a big deal. You guys are married.
American Foundation for Theatre and Marriage?
I've never heard of this before.
Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus.
I'm sorry, we'll have to do
- more research. - No, forget it!
- Wow. - Weird.
They think the foundation is bogus.
We just invented a new foundation, right?
We need to try cancer again.
I know I can nail it this time.
No, look at the clock. We can't start over anymore.
If we don't do anything, they're splitting up at dinner.
Yeah, I know.
What do you think, Taylor?
Why don't you say something for once?
- I'm turning it back. - Whoa, Max. No, you're not.
- Stop. - Don't clock block me.
Oh, my God, not until we try everything.
We have tried everything.
You're gonna waste a day.
- It's over. I'm doing it. - No, you're not.
Oh, God.
I guess that settles that.
- We're stuck with today. - It's not my fault.
Of course it is.
This is why I don't want you around,
why I always avoid you.
You screw up everything.
Only because you never think I can do anything.
You can't.
You're a walking catastrophe, both of you.
Don't pick on him.
She didn't mean it, little bro..
♪ Wildfire rollin' in ♪
♪ I'll never get this chance again ♪
♪ This rumble from [INDISTINCT]
♪ Rising from the empty ground ♪
♪ Undercover [INDISTINCT] ♪
♪ I'm moving high above it all ♪
♪ You'll never tie me down ♪
♪ I wake up as I hit the ground ♪
♪ Don't break my fall ♪
♪ I'll lose it all ♪
♪ Your touch enough ♪
♪ To bring me out ♪
I'm not turning it down.
Uh, no, I...
actually want to collaborate.
If you're still talking to me.
I'm sorry.
All right.
- Cool. - Yeah.
All right, I'll write what we can say,
but the music part, I'll let you take that over.
Good. Yeah.
Uh, we could say, you know, that they can't have each other
even though, you know, they deserve each other.
Oh, Max, this is so good.
It's like when pop songs have a really good beat,
but then you listen to the lyrics.
We need the decorations, right? And we have to get the stage.
Yeah.
♪ Break me out ♪
♪ Don't break my fall ♪
♪ I'll lose it all ♪
♪ Your touch enough ♪
♪ To bring me out ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Just bring me out ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
Hello.
- Hi, Mom. - Hey. Take a seat.
Okay.
- Hey. - Hi.
Dad, take a seat.
All right.
This is the story of a couple, Jen and Derek,
who have everything except for each other.
By the end of today, they won't be a couple anymore.
Just can't figure out how to live together.
♪ Father and mother ♪
♪ Can't be together ♪
Ready?
♪ Friends, therapists, students all say ♪
♪ You just can't change today ♪
♪ Today, just can't change today ♪
♪ No way ♪
♪ ...not stay together ♪
♪ No matter the day, no matter the weather ♪
When one moment might have changed everything.
When one moment might have made sense of the ring.
Well, that was, uh...
That was...
It was...
What was that?
M-- Mom?
Dad?
Sorry.
I thought I was off.
We ought to do these sibling camp outs more often.
Yeah, once in a while.
We don't want it to lose its specialness.
Hey, we should probably return these, right?
I'll see you at dinner.
Did he suspect anything?
Right, like, uh, did this clock reset
the same day 86 times before it exploded?
I don't know. Did he?
Hey, good morning.
What are you guys doing down here?
Um, we were just, uh,
- helping Taylor clean up. - Mm-hmm.
Such a bummer about the clock.
It just broke.
Come on, guys, let's go.
Come on, Barack, I saved you a shotgun.
Taylor, come on! We're late for school.
So, about tonight...
No, [INDISTINCT].
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's time to go ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's time to go ♪