1 00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,920 Paige, the only real mother you've ever had died. 2 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,547 - Oh, God. - You have a lotta work to do. 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,466 Yes, like transcontinental 4 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,634 - railroad-level work. - You wish. 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,928 No, railroad is a straight line. 6 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,097 Grief is more like a... it, it zigzags. 7 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,475 Ya have to take it in, swirl it around. 8 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,393 Are you telling us to gargle our grief? 9 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,229 - Mm. - Exactly. 10 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,813 At least you're doin' okay, huh, Edwin? 11 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,066 And you're basing that on what now? 12 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:32,319 We just found out that Sadiiq, one of his associates, just got 23 years. 13 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,405 Man, that boy's life is done now. 14 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,865 Hell of a week, huh? 15 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,409 Finn, your dad was supposed to show up and he stiffed you, that sucks. 16 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,745 - No, yeah, it's whatever. - It really messed him up 17 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,789 and now he spends all his time in his room. 18 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,707 Finn, I think you might be backsliding. 19 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,044 Regression is part of development, as you know, Paige. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,421 I hate to, uh, cause more stress, 21 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,423 but today's your last session. I'm leaving town. 22 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,051 - What?! - Yeah, I'm going to India on a Rumspringa. 23 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,470 - You're not Amish. - It's sort of a spiritual awaken... 24 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,597 It's a six-month thing. No talking. 25 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,891 It's just I'm in this office every day, 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,935 and everybody comes in and they dump all their shit on me. 27 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,021 Yack-yack-yack-yack-yack in my ear and it's exhausting. 28 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,773 - No offense. - So, you're saying that we gotta 29 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,984 - zig and zag and do all that... - Yeah. 30 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,570 ...and we all fucked up, and you are goin' off to India. 31 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,494 Good for you, Doc, but let me tell you somethin'. 32 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,992 Slide over. My grandson has not driven a car... 33 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,285 - Oh. - ...since the accident. 34 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,663 And this family is nowhere near fixed, Doc. 35 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:27,125 I got bad news for ya. You're never really fixed. 36 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,087 Murphy, my best mom died, in my room. 37 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,213 So, now you need me? 38 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,423 - Kind of. - Yes. 39 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,757 Maybe you guys have grown a bit. 40 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,509 You never would've said that day one. 41 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,178 Loss is inevitable. 42 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,513 The key is what you do with it. That's what matters. 43 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,811 So, I'm gonna ask you all three this question. 44 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,561 What will you do with your grief? 45 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,647 And you gotta feel it, man. Ya gotta feel it here. 46 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,815 You've got to feel it here. 47 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,906 - And you've got... - Don't, don't, man. Just don't. 48 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,778 At least... 49 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,865 Well, took 'em long enough to approve the claim. 50 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,283 Thank you so much, Nadine. 51 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,707 Well, you're the one who paid the premium 17 years in advance. 52 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,248 Still can't believe the news about Carole. 53 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,959 Paige is havin' folk over after the funeral, 54 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,086 and I, I told 'em I'd cater. 55 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,800 Do they know you cook with spices? 56 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,302 - I told Paige I want you to come. - Mm. 57 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,346 I don't wanna do anything to upset Paige. 58 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,514 Don't worry 'bout that. 59 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,807 I'll just stay home and eat a dry pot roast 60 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,314 in honor of the woman I could never live up to. 61 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,735 I'm sorry about Sadiiq. 62 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,363 Fox okay? 63 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,365 I don't know. 64 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:41,491 - Are you okay? - Hell no, I'm not okay. 65 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,118 - Man, this is so fucked up. - I know. 66 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,121 But I still had choices. 67 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,212 And I need to be doing more, Nadine. 68 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,674 I gotta go after it. 69 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,634 Well... 70 00:02:56,260 --> 00:03:01,390 now... you can go after it... in a brand-new Baby Bentley. 71 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,223 The funeral's gonna be all hymns, no SKIMS. 72 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,351 - I want the after-party to be fun. - It's not called an after-party. 73 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,228 Whatever, the reception. 74 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,938 I just wish we knew that she was sick. 75 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,439 Then we could've planned a real rager, 76 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,234 but knowing Mom, she just didn't want us to feel bad. 77 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,152 Well, too late for that now. 78 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,320 - For real though... - Yeah. 79 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,118 - ...why haven't I cried yet? - What? 80 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,449 I don't know. Am I broken? 81 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,034 You have a few cracks, 82 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,453 but do you think maybe you're having some 83 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,414 - regret about your last conversation? - Uh-uh, no-no, I... 84 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,748 No, I don't wanna talk about this. 85 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:34,210 You are the one who loves to talk about feelings. 86 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,672 Oh, maybe if you talk about your feelings, 87 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,595 I'll recognize what one looks like in the wild. 88 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,051 - Okay... - Mm-hm. 89 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,142 ...I'm trying to figure out how to metabolize my grief. 90 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,183 And I feel like I just wanna run out 91 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,226 and tell everybody that I love how I feel about them. 92 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,065 By every single person you mean Mal? 93 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,440 I mean, he's one of the people. 94 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,984 He's your person. 95 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,694 He's with someone. 96 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,197 Okay, I'm not telling you to go all Ariana Grande, 97 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,949 but what if Mal dies tomorrow? 98 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,538 That is so dark. 99 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,828 Do I have to tell him? 100 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,084 I think you get to tell him. 101 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,210 - Hey. - Um, I just... 102 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,253 I know this is crazy and unexpected, 103 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,671 - but I just... - Hey, Paige! 104 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,715 - Oh, hi, Ava! - Oh, my God! 105 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,259 You're here! Of course. 106 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,345 Just watchin' Family or Fiancé. 107 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,639 Black love, baby. Look, I gotta pause it. 108 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,224 They're about to do the blessin' ceremony. 109 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,313 - Ooh. - That's a good part. 110 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,686 So? 111 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,981 Uh, I, I came by because 112 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:41,110 Finn is starting to look at colleges and, um, it's exciting, 113 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,906 so I-I wanted you to maybe think about writing him a letter of recommendation? 114 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,493 Yeah, of-of course. Um, do you need it soon or? 115 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,328 Yeah, yeah, in probably eight months. 116 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,830 - Ah, okay. - Yeah. 117 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,124 - Uh, well, thanks for the heads-up. - Yeah, it's a long time, 118 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,377 you know, so it can be really good. 119 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,962 I-Is that it? 120 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,051 - Yeah. - Okay. 121 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:07,512 Um... so, how are you and Esti doing, Carole's death? 122 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,518 I know it must be really hard. 123 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,308 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, too. 124 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,061 Oh, th-thank you, Ava. 125 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,981 You should, like, watch your show, 126 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,401 - your Fiancé and Family thing, yeah. - Yeah. 127 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,945 - Bye, Paige! Bye! - Okay, bye, bye! 128 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,868 Peace. 129 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,285 ♪ If you like piña coladas ♪ 130 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:34,376 ♪ And gettin' caught in the rain ♪ 131 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,583 How do I sound? 132 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,505 Loud, woman, loud. 133 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,753 I didn't even know Carole liked karaoke. 134 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,174 Oh, she did not. Carole did not drink, swear, or party, 135 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,510 so let's celebrate a woman who lived a perfectly sober life 136 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,345 by turning the fuck up. 137 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,306 Yeah, I thought that funeral was kinda sad. 138 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,891 - Mm. - You know, sister girl, I gotta say, 139 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:56,227 I think you zigzaggin' kinda in your grief, 140 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,401 so you need anything... I'm here. 141 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,441 You know what I need? 142 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:02,609 What? 143 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,819 Ice. I'm gonna go to the store. 144 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,448 No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got a, I got a better idea. 145 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,162 Hey, Finn?! 146 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:15,538 Been hidin' out in his room ever since... his daddy didn't show, you know, 147 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,336 regressing instead of progressing. 148 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,252 Yeah, you yelled? 149 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,922 Yeah, I need you to go to the store, get some ice, okay? 150 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,340 Uh, give him the keys. 151 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,508 Yeah, this would be a good way 152 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,177 for you to get your driving sea legs back under you. 153 00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,678 You want me to drive there? 154 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,226 - Yeah. - In the car? 155 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,270 Yes. 156 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,561 Go on, man, you got it. 157 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,484 - I believe in you, bud. - I do, too. 158 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,152 Hello. 159 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,276 Uh, you said I can handle this next week. 160 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,945 No, I will be there. No. 161 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,739 I, uh, gimme a c-couple hours, okay? 162 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,783 Yep. No, I will see you soon. 163 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,076 - Sistergirl. - Mm, mm-hm. 164 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,577 - A couple shakes of this. - Mm-hm. 165 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,579 Top on, in the refrigerator. 166 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,748 - Don't mess up my food now. - Got it, got it, got it. 167 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,546 - Shake, top on, don't mess it up. - Okay. 168 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,341 There you are. 169 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,134 Hi. 170 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,509 Finn, how are you doing? 171 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,387 Just 'cause I know funerals can be kind of intense. 172 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:13,725 I didn't really know her. 173 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:17,183 I'm just glad that she didn't die in my room. 174 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,273 - No offense. - None taken. 175 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,437 Honey, do you think that maybe you could come down 176 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,731 for just a little bit when people get here? 177 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,734 Uh, yeah, maybe. I just... I kinda prefer to backslide 178 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,323 in the privacy of my own room. 179 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:29,946 - So, no? - No. 180 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,490 Honey, I... When I said backslide, I was not... 181 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,575 - Baby. - Yes? 182 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,244 Um, I got the brisket on cruise control. 183 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,413 - Everything else, ready to go. - No, where are you going? 184 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,456 We have people coming here after church. 185 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,877 I know, somethin' came up and I gotta handle it, like, right now. 186 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,087 - No. - Nadine gon' give a ride and, uh... 187 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,798 - What, Nadine?! - Don't gimme a hard time, baby... 188 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,091 I thought that that was done. 189 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,176 - It's a ride, baby. - Okay. 190 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,473 - That's all it is, a ride. - Okay, but where are you... 191 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,770 Good afternoon. 192 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,276 - Hello. - Yes. 193 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:09,027 Uh, so, in here, I have my written test, my, um, proof of residency, 194 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,613 my travel letter, and my birth certificate 195 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:15,241 I went all the way to Alabama to get, but that didn't work out. 196 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,706 I just do the wr... driving test. 197 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,541 I apologize. 198 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:23,875 This was a last-minute appointment, so I'm... a little nervous, you know? 199 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,460 Well, let's just start. 200 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,712 You are going to drive forward, 201 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,881 and then you'll just make a left at the stop sign. 202 00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:32,721 Gotcha. Okay. 203 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,181 Ooh. Ah, I'm sorry. This not my vehicle. 204 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,141 I borrowed it from a friend. 205 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,435 Actually my ex. 206 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,192 You know what, I'm just gonna go. 207 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,442 Oh, whoa! 208 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,903 This baby got some giddy-up... uh. 209 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,988 Actually, I... 210 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,950 I need a minute, yeah. 211 00:08:56,954 --> 00:09:00,161 I was at a funeral... earlier today 212 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:04,999 and, and I was supposed to be catering the reception and... 213 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,089 but my driver's license... 214 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,008 is my next step. 215 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,556 This is totally inappropriate, but, um... 216 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,346 they don't make it easy for formerly incarcerated 217 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,391 to get their lives back together. 218 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,394 So that's why you haven't had a license since 2006? 219 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:27,442 Yes, ma'am. I lost a lotta life. 220 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,740 'Til right now, you know? 221 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,372 My brother did time. 222 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,584 Oh. 223 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:47,004 Uh, how's-how's he... how's he doin'? Is he, he doin' okay? 224 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:51,087 It ain't easy, ma'am. 225 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,178 Well, uh, Mr. Alexander... 226 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,843 I want this for you too, 227 00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:01,598 so just don't run over any cones or flags or people. 228 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,688 - I really am an excellent driver, ma'am. - Okay. 229 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691 And I am ready to progress. 230 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,949 I'll get it. I'll get it. Esti, I'll get it. I got it. 231 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,574 Oh. Ice, ice baby. Busted. 232 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,910 Anxiety takes another W, huh? 233 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,415 What's going on? 234 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,750 Esti, did you grow up in a barn? 235 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,920 - Wait, wait, wait. Hold up! - Oh, Go... Sorry. I'm sorry. 236 00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:33,046 - Come on in. - I-I'm sorry. 237 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,469 I, I wanted to pay my respects. 238 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,175 Carole was a wonderful person 239 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:40,261 - and she raised an amazing woman, so. - Yeah, Esti is amazing. 240 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,972 - Paige. - Sorry. Thank you. 241 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,891 Look, I know you're hurting, 242 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,477 okay, but there are people that care about you. 243 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:48,603 I want you to know that. 244 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:51,314 - Mal, how 'bout a duet? - Um... 245 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:55,693 Um, can you please distract Esti so she doesn't make Pastor Nelson sing again? 246 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,322 Because he's very tired and very sad and he can't hold a tune. 247 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:03,159 ♪ Did you ever know that you're my hero? ♪ 248 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,787 - Sure. Mm-hm. - Thank you. 249 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:10,625 Oh, wow! Look who's back from their secret errand. 250 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,460 Babygirl, I didn't have a choice. 251 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,379 - This is somethin' I had... - Dad, it's fine. We survived, 252 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,089 but you do need to get more mac and cheese 253 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,425 - on the table though, ASAP. - Okay. I'd be happy to. 254 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,391 - Thank you. - Oh, now, Nadine... 255 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,226 thank you. 256 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,603 - You're welcome. - Thank you. 257 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:29,690 Okay. 258 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,858 Do you wanna take off your coat and stay awhile? 259 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,277 - Really? - Yes. 260 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,279 There's plenty of food, obviously. 261 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,698 Ah. How 'bout eligible bachelors? 262 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:42,949 Any of those? 263 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,247 Uh... Pastor Nelson? 264 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:49,038 ♪ 'Cause you are the wind ♪ 265 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,962 - ♪ Beneath my wings ♪ - Too soon. 266 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,421 - Uh, hello, everyone. - Oh, oh. I think we're gathering. 267 00:11:56,425 --> 00:12:01,342 Ah. Yeah, before we continue the karaoke portion of the after-party, 268 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:06,055 and, yes, everyone must sing, I thought I should say a few words. 269 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,933 My mom always had my back. 270 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,770 Like, when she wrote my third grade teacher, Mrs. Rice, 271 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,481 a devastatingly passive aggressive letter 272 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:19,194 saying that my times tables were just fine, thank you. 273 00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:23,114 - It was a gentle aggression. - That's just who she was, a saint. 274 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411 And I... 275 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,160 I suck. 276 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:30,371 I'm serious. The, the last time Mom saw me, 277 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,832 I-I was spitting into a tube 278 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:37,754 like I-I wasn't related to the mother I had right in front of me. 279 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,381 A-And I will never get to hug her again. 280 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,259 And guess what? I haven't even cried yet. 281 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,928 Right? Like-like-like-like if this were a movie, 282 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,763 I would be crying right now, right? 283 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,681 - Like, mm, mm-hm. - I'ma step in. 284 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,060 Nope, I am a a all spit and no tears. 285 00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:54,354 - Nope. No, not today. Uh-huh? - ...take a break. 286 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,689 - No, no. I-I haven't sung my song yet. - There'll be time for that. 287 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,816 - There'll be time. - Okay. Okay. 288 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,486 Thank you, Esti, that was so beautiful. 289 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,323 If I could just add a word or two? Okay. Thank you. 290 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:10,870 I think part of what Esti was getting at is that, um, 291 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:15,333 our mother really... lived to love. 292 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:18,336 And-And I-I don't mean love like the-the feeling. 293 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,129 I mean, love as a verb, right? 294 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,757 Because love as a verb, is what you do. 295 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:27,053 And, um, she... she did everything. 296 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,722 She took us in. 297 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,309 And she had a heart that was just so 298 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:37,605 open, and vulnerable, and generous. 299 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,400 Probably a lot of times when it-it would have felt 300 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:44,491 much less scary not to be, um. 301 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,740 But, you know, love as a verb is about knowing 302 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,411 that there's no after-party in life, 303 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:55,540 so you, you just have to love now, 304 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,333 while you can. 305 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,630 Um... 306 00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,634 before it's too late. 307 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,010 I think that's something that Carole really understood, 308 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,304 and... 309 00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:12,686 I think it's something that I am starting to understand now. 310 00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:23,401 Um, so, thank you so much, everybody, for coming. 311 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,737 I really appreciate it. And-And, um, for karaoke, 312 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,948 maybe everybody can just line up in this room. 313 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,617 Um, thank you. 314 00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,911 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 315 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:36,001 Hey, hey, hey, wait, please. 316 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:41,089 - Paige, that was beautiful, but, like... - Just hear me out, okay? 317 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,088 I have been doing all of this work on myself, 318 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,798 and I think that it has really allowed me 319 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,884 to see you for who you really are, 320 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,303 and you are amazing. 321 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,597 You're such a good friend, you're a grounded partner, 322 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:56,309 you see me, I think, like, really Into-Me-You-See, 323 00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,394 and I feel connected to you in all the right ways. 324 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,104 Like, here and here and here. 325 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,524 Paige, I don't think you really know what you're saying right now. 326 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:05,652 I'm completely certain of what I'm saying. 327 00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,654 I'm, I'm sorry. 328 00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:10,744 - What does that mean? - I gotta go. 329 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:22,381 Oh! Oh, God. Oh, God. 330 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,977 Heard about the ice. 331 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,899 Hey, Finn... 332 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:48,323 one thing I learned about love, family... 333 00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:56,828 the... disappointment, it's unavoidable, man. 334 00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:59,918 'Cause all folks, they are just... 335 00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,629 f-flawed as hell. 336 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:06,004 - You're not. - Come on, man. 337 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:09,257 I know I've let down the folk I care about. 338 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:13,974 I let your mama down, over and over and over again. 339 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:18,725 And all kind of folk have let me down, believe that. 340 00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:21,565 But it doesn't affect the love, Finn. 341 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:25,485 Now, I know it didn't work out the way you wanted. 342 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,402 I am so proud of you for reachin' out to your dad. 343 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:33,198 For somebody who's so-called scared of everything, 344 00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:36,159 Finn, you did the hardest thing possible. 345 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,454 You put yourself out there. 346 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,669 Now you can do that? You can do anything. 347 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:50,302 - Oh... should I help? - I got it. 348 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,133 My condolences again. 349 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,056 Okay. Thank you. 350 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,143 And I liked your speech. 351 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,812 - Thanks. - To Mal. 352 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,399 Carole would've been proud. 353 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,902 And I'm proud. 354 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,903 Well... I don't think Mal liked it. 355 00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:16,203 - I mean, he just walked out, so. - You know what, Paige? 356 00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,661 You're kind of unforgiving, somewhat judgmental, 357 00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:22,163 - and a bit of a know-it-all... - That was rude. 358 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,088 ...but Mal would be a fool not to be with you. 359 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,885 I'm glad you stayed. 360 00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:36,640 Well... I am kinda the only mom you have left. 361 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,471 Oh, God. 362 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,563 - Oh, that's kind of true. - Hm. Mm-hm. 363 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,984 Rawr. 364 00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:56,076 Hey. I'm sorry I put you on blast with the whole ice thing. 365 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,658 Nah, it's cool. 366 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:05,748 Just, um... you know, sometimes, my brain makes small things impossible. 367 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,252 Even though I've done much harder things than drive two blocks for ice. 368 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,629 Eh, I shouldn't put ice in my chardonnay anyway. 369 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,047 Makes me look trashier than I am. 370 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:16,259 I just feel bad that I disappointed you guys, you know? 371 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:21,431 But, uh, Grandpa said that part of being in a family is disappointment. 372 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,437 But he made it sound way more hopeful. 373 00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:26,315 Yeah, he was all like... 374 00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:29,189 "Finneas James, 375 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:30,940 "part of love, 376 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,406 "part of family is disappointment. 377 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,576 Because all folk flawed as hell." 378 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,702 You know, it doesn't mean that, um... 379 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,787 doesn't mean that you don't love them 380 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,127 and it doesn't mean that they don't love you. 381 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,421 Or somethin' like that. 382 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:59,052 You're s... You're so right. I, um, I loved Mom. 383 00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,386 And she loved me. 384 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,681 W-Was, was she disappointed I-I wanted to find my birth family? 385 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,772 Yeah. Yeah, she was. 386 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:12,569 But, but then she died and... she died feeling terrible. 387 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:18,071 But-But that doesn't mean I-I shouldn't follow through 388 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,656 because she's gone now. 389 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:24,369 And me not sending in a tube of my spit isn't gonna bring her back. 390 00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:27,459 Oh, God. Um. 391 00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:30,959 Aunt Esti, are you okay? 392 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:35,050 Totally! No-no-no-no-no. C-Crying was the goal. 393 00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,220 - Okay. Yeah. - Thank you. 394 00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:45,598 How you doin', baby girl? 395 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,189 You mean because of my very public humiliation? 396 00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:53,648 You know, it actually led to a revelation with my book proposal, 397 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:56,734 so it's not just about dating with daddy issues. 398 00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:01,243 It's about Living and Loving and Losing... 399 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:03,783 with Daddy Issues. 400 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:08,458 You know how they say, um... you know, "It'll be alright in the end"? 401 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:10,961 If it ain't alright... 402 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,548 that means it ain't the end. 403 00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,716 That's good. 404 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,009 Hm. 405 00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:23,932 - Can I add that? - You know, I'ma charge you. 406 00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:29,976 - Hey, um, if you got a minute, baby... - Oh, it's not a good time. 407 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:33,400 - Dad, I'm, I'm right... - Just a, just a... 408 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,274 - Okay. - And it's only a few miles away. 409 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,780 - I have to drive? - No. 410 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,285 I'll be drivin'. 411 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,246 Yeah, I know my timing wasn't great, 412 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:54,755 but... I was in a bidding war on this baby. 413 00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:58,342 Owner almost gave it to the other guy. 414 00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,930 And that's why I had to get my driver's license today. 415 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,934 I'm takin' that next step, y'all. 416 00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,141 I ain't holdin' back. 417 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:13,144 I'm gonna be the father ya always needed me to be. 418 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,355 Did you give up your steady job 419 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,650 with decent pay for this next step? 420 00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,360 - What? - I got you, baby girl. 421 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,407 As a matter of fact, no, I am not. 422 00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,536 I'm workin' two jobs... 423 00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:27,742 'til I know I got this. 424 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:30,870 Then I support you, Dad, 100%. 425 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,747 - This is dope, Grandpa. - Right? 426 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:35,587 - You're following your dream. - Yeah, I am. 427 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,278 Man, you guys have been doin' all kinds of stuff with your grief. 428 00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:50,394 You know, I'm wondering, if maybe I could... drive us home? 429 00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:55,103 - You think you ready? - Yeah. I mean, it's not about waiting 430 00:21:55,107 --> 00:21:58,193 for the anxious thing to go away, right? 431 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:01,484 It's about doin' shit while anxious. 432 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:04,779 - Come on now. Go 'head, man. - Oh, oh, no. No-no-no-no-no. 433 00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,907 I, I love you both so much. Super proud of you. 434 00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:12,829 But I think that maybe you should start with the Volvo and not Grandpa's truck. 435 00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:13,997 - It's... - Deal. 436 00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,499 - Oh, did I just get had? - Go. Go. 437 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,589 - Did he... - Go to the Volvo, brother. 438 00:22:21,884 --> 00:22:26,050 Today has been a tornado. 439 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:30,346 But I learned recently that you are supposed to gargle your grief. 440 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:34,559 You have to sit with it and swish it around and... 441 00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:37,103 let it heal you on the inside, I guess, I don't know. 442 00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:41,024 But maybe that's how grief works, right? 443 00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:46,613 It-It is... it's here to teach us how to live, today, 444 00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:49,620 as if the after-party is now. 445 00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:51,455 So... 446 00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,621 yeah, go a... go ahead and... 447 00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,916 sing Baby Got Back at your mom's funeral, 448 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,008 and buy a food truck, and go on a Rumspringa. 449 00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:08,092 Do the thing that you are afraid to do. 450 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:11,012 You know, tell people that you love them. 451 00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:14,390 Even the ones... that don't feel the same. 452 00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:17,101 Because, in the end, you could... 453 00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,399 - Paige. - Hey. Hi. 454 00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,941 Um, what are you doing here? 455 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:26,069 I, um, I just needed time to process. 456 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:29,030 I know, I put you on the spot. It was a hard sell. I'm so sorry. 457 00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,198 - I didn't mean to dump all my... - Sold. 458 00:23:30,202 --> 00:23:33,121 - I'm sorry, did you say... - Sold. 459 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:40,875 I needed time to think, and I needed to break up with Ava. 460 00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,920 - Did you do that? - I did because 461 00:23:43,924 --> 00:23:47,636 how I feel about you was not fair to her. 462 00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:50,264 Mal... 463 00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:55,853 I wanna try again. 464 00:23:57,563 --> 00:24:00,186 I gotta be honest, that sounds pretty terrifying. 465 00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:04,190 I know. I'm terrified too. 466 00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:06,113 But I feel like... 467 00:24:07,865 --> 00:24:11,326 we could do it differently this time? 468 00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:13,575 Maybe we just take it slow. 469 00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:16,077 I've never done slow a day in my life, 470 00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,329 - but... - Mm. 471 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,252 ...I could try... 472 00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,421 for you... 473 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,798 for us. 474 00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:27,968 You know, for this. 475 00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:39,601 Paige. 476 00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:43,521 Nope. No. No! Dad. 477 00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,444 Come on. 478 00:24:50,157 --> 00:24:51,362 What's wrong? 479 00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:52,951 Somebody's here. 480 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:54,745 Who? 481 00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:57,915 Your mom. 482 00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:02,790 Wait. What now? 483 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,588 ♪ Baby ♪ 484 00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:13,847 ♪ Can't keep on runnin' ♪ 485 00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:22,810 ♪ All I want you to do is to feel with me ♪ 486 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,733 ♪ Yeah ♪ 487 00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:32,199 ♪ We both are hurtin' ♪ 488 00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:38,080 ♪ And it's gonna take a little time ♪ 489 00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:45,712 ♪ To heal all the wounds and save our family ♪ 490 00:25:49,174 --> 00:25:51,176 Woo-hoo!