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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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[rap music plays]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[audience cheers]
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[music rewinds, stops]
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Ladies and gentlemen, what a pleasure it
is to be here this evening.
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-[audience cheers]
-[horn blaring]
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I'd like to take a second
to let you know...
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[audience yells indistinctly]
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This is one of the most beautiful
audiences I ever seen in my goddamn life.
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You niggas came to see...
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When I say niggas...
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I mean all of us.
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[audience laughs]
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White people,
y'all in the building this evening?
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-Make some noise, white people!
-[horn blares]
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Look at niggas shocked. "What?"
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And spread out, too.
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We got the best of the best.
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Where's my Hispanic family
in the building? Where's the Latinx?
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-[audience cheers]
-[Katt] A-ha!
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A-ha!
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Well, you know there's a virus out there
that will kill a motherfucker.
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Got to be something special
to have me here.
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Let's see what it is.
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Where's the ladies in the building?
Make some noise.
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-Ladies in the building!
-[horn blaring]
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-[audience cheers]
-[Katt] Mm-hm!
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Did you smell that in there?
That was a lot of good uterus.
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Mm-hm. That was some high estrogen levels.
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I got the best audience.
And I had to have it.
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A pandemic made you restructure your life.
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You miss your family.
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Y'all are my motherfucking family.
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For the ten-year challenge,
I don't even recognize this shit.
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Is this the real world?
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This shit is crazy.
You don't know what to believe.
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Don't nobody even make up
conspiracy theories no more.
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The truth is fucked up enough.
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[audience cheers]
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[Katt] For everybody.
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You don't know what the fuck to believe.
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Some of y'all in here
got three vaccinations and four boosters!
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And you just as scared of the next
variant as the next motherfucker.
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We don't know what to believe.
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Ten years ago, we even said we don't let
motherfuckers tell us what to do.
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We let them tell us, the worldwide doctors
told us to get the vaccine.
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These dirty sons of bitches,
they ain't showing us not nair a doctor.
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I guess Dr. Fauci made all the vaccines.
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He the only one we ever see!
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Don't get me wrong, I don't give a fuck.
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I don't mind taking the vaccine.
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When I take my dog to the vet,
I get whatever shots he's getting.
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He get a rabies shot, me too.
That's my friend, bitch.
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I'm as likely to bite somebody as he is.
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Crazy world.
You don't know what to believe.
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The truth is just as strange as fiction.
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Taco Bell...
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selling chicken wings.
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This is a revelation, bitch!
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Crack you wide open
at the scene.
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Some of you niggas is tearing up
them pigeon winglets.
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Fucking up them Mac Tenders.
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You don't know what the fuck to believe.
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That's how it is.
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You may not know what to fucking believe.
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The truth can be stranger than fiction.
They won't tell you shit.
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They won't tell you that Wendy Williams
is Sasquatch.
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That bitch is Bigfoot!
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Every time you see her go on hiatus,
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that's when you start
seeing sightings of Bigfoot.
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The truth will come out later. You'll see.
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Just saying, they'll tell us anything.
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That's why it's called World War III.
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'Cause there's a whole motherfucking
war going on right now.
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And they ain't telling us shit.
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We don't even know whose side is what.
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Whole war going on.
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Fortunately, for us, it's simple.
It ain't even complicated.
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White people, don't get nervous.
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It ain't about race this time.
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Mm-mm. Ain't about money this time.
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No, no.
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This time it's a lie versus the truth.
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Just that simple.
A lie versus the truth. That's it.
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Just a lie versus the truth. Ah!
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The lie...
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I'm not here to say what side
is the best side.
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I'm just saying, them's the sides.
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Watch this. Where is all the lovers
of truth at in the building?
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Make some noise
if you love the truth.
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-[audience cheers]
-[horn blares]
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Whoo! Look at the lovers of truth.
Strong in this bitch.
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Keep that same energy.
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Don't switch up on me.
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So, lovers of truth. Watch this.
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Where's all the liars in the building?
Make some noise. Liars.
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Yeah!
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Look at the lovers of truth. "What?
I didn't think they would tell the truth."
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Liars do what the fuck they want to do.
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Just understand, there's two sides.
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You always got to have a proper
respect for your opps.
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One of these sides don't respect the opps.
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The lovers of truth,
they don't give a fuck about the lie.
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And they will tell you,
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"Bitch, this is the truth right here.
I don't give a fuck!"
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You tell them about the lie.
The lie ain't shit.
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Shit.
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Liars run the world.
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Better respect it.
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Liars run the world.
For every time one lie gets told,
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one million people
make one million dollars.
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For every lie,
you know who the fuck pays for it?
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Whoever the fuck don't know it's a lie.
That's who the fuck pays for it.
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Yep. And they lie to all of us.
Not some of us.
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Look at white people, "Not us." Yes.
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All of us.
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They lie to us all together.
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They told all of us in here.
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There's a chicken wing shortage.
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Look at people of all races and religions,
genders and creeds all agree.
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"They sure did say that."
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They told all of us.
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There's a chicken wing shortage.
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Doesn't matter how much
we all love chicken.
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We didn't riot in the streets.
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We didn't burn burger places down.
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We just believed them.
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But liars always leave a clue.
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They think they smarter than them is.
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They say it to all of us,
"There is a chicken wing shortage."
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Did you notice they did not say
it was a shortage of chickens?
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[crowd laughing, cheering]
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Said it was a chicken wing shortage.
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But they did not say...
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it was a shortage of chickens.
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Now, I know some of y'all
don't grow up on the farm.
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Maybe you don't see a chicken every day.
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But try to envision in your mind
what a chicken looks like.
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'Cause if a liar can get you
to believe some shit,
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they don't stop there. They double down.
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Just so you knew they was lying,
they said some shit next,
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that don't even make mathematical sense.
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They said there's
a chicken wing shortage...
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but we got plenty of thighs.
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[audience applauds, cheers]
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Where the fuck would you get
plenty of thighs from, bitch?
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Look, I'm not a farmer.
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Or a scientist. But I will tell you this,
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all chicken wings… come from a chicken.
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They get two wings, two thighs.
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So don't start talking about
you got a whole bunch of thighs.
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Where the fuck are you getting these
spider leg chickens from?
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See, the problem is,
some of y'all believe in God,
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some of y'all believe in science.
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I believe in both.
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Science might have done some things,
and God did some things.
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Science might have made a lot of shit,
but God made the chicken.
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You ain't going to tell me.
God made the chicken.
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He did that for the world.
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That's how you know it's from God.
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What group of people
don't fuck with chicken?
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Look at the vegans. "Just us."
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God made the chicken.
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That bitch ain't safe nowhere.
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Every time a chicken's foot
hits the ground,
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somebody want to put that bitch in grease.
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In China, in France,
in Europe, in Mississippi.
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That's how you know God made it,
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because that bird is the most
delicious bird.
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In the whole world!
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And that motherfucker can't fly.
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'Cause God loves you.
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If chickens could fly,
half the motherfuckers in here
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would be dead right now if you had to...
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00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,529
if you had to catch your own two-piece,
you'll die.
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You just in the backyard...
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"That was a spicy combo, too.
I can't keep missing these opportunities."
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Anyway...
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I'm just saying,
figure out what you can trust.
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'Cause it used to be it was people
out there that we trusted.
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Their job made us trust them.
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That they would do the right thing by us.
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That shit is gone-gone.
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Been gone.
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What the fuck you mean?
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They want you to do shit
that don't make no sense.
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That's why I won't even talk
about politics no more.
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Ain't shit to talk about.
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What the fuck I'm supposed to do
if both sides is the dumb side?
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[audience laughs]
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I don't even want to play no more!
193
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,422
What the fuck is this shit?
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But that's America.
195
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,636
We just don't want what we had last.
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[audience laughs, cheers intensify]
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Ten years ago, some of you ladies
was with a full-fledged gangbanger.
198
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,983
Look at you ten years later
in here with that bank teller.
199
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,197
You look like you work at the bank.
200
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That's how our country do.
201
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We don't give a fuck.
Just don't give us the last shit.
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We traded in a crazy,
deranged, erratic motherfucker.
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We traded him in
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for a Weekend at Bernie's.
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00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,512
["Who Want Smoke??" by Nardo Wick plays]
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♪ What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that? ♪
207
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,436
♪ That's how I step on niggas ♪
208
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,316
Too much going on.
209
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,736
You can't believe nothing that people say.
210
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,614
This is some crazy shit.
211
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,284
You motherfuckers is vicious.
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00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,995
You don't give a fuck about nobody.
213
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:35,624
Motherfucker, I'm so sick of motherfuckers
talking shit about Joe Biden.
214
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,586
"Joe need to get his shit together."
215
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,464
"You need to wake up, Joe."
216
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,845
"Go Brandon, Joe."
217
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,142
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
218
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,269
Who raised you?
219
00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:01,442
Joe Biden is 96 motherfucking
years old, bitch.
220
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,280
You gave Paw Paw the job, bitch.
221
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:11,452
You gave Great-Granddad
[garbles] the job, bitch.
222
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:16,081
Now, you want Big Daddy
to get his shit together.
223
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,295
Joe Biden is doing the best
he motherfucking can.
224
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,632
That man is 97 years old.
225
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,347
People talking shit about Joe Biden.
226
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,391
"I don't like the way
he left Afghanistan."
227
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,854
Bitch, how the fuck do you think
a 98-year-old man leave a fight?
228
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,109
Quickly and quietly, I bet you.
229
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,614
Joe Biden left Afghanistan like this.
230
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,501
Joe is doing the best he fucking can.
231
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:06,090
Give him a fucking break.
Joe is 99 goddamn years old.
232
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,555
If you are lucky enough
to have a great-granddaddy,
233
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,933
call him up right now
on the phone and ask him
234
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:19,895
is he ready to do 12 press conferences
tomorrow, bitch.
235
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,272
No, he is not.
236
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,072
Joe be doing the best he can.
237
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,451
He show up at all the press conferences.
238
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,287
You can ask Joe anything.
239
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,708
But he only going to answer half...
240
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,381
of what the question is.
241
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:52,970
He is not going to let you know
when he get off at the nearest exit.
242
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,515
[chuckles] They said, "Joe...
243
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,145
America just dealt
with a terrible hurricane season.
244
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:06,859
Do you have some words of encouragement
for the American people about hurricanes?"
245
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,193
Joe said...
246
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,821
"Thank you so much for asking.
247
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,075
First of all, our thoughts and prayers
go out to all the families
248
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,120
dealing with hurricanes throughout
the entire United States.
249
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,330
What a lot of Americans have been doing
250
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,916
to fight the hurricanes
is getting vaccinated."
251
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,669
["Who Want Smoke??" by Nardo Wick plays]
252
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,837
♪ What the fuck is that? ♪
253
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,881
[audience cheers, laughs]
254
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,561
There's too much shit going on.
255
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,317
Too much shit going on.
256
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,070
They doing their best with Joe.
257
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,115
Every morning, they tell Joe,
"Joe, today...
258
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,244
Don't say shit today, Joe."
259
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,001
"No, I want to tell the American people."
260
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,422
I love it. [sighs]
261
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,842
And that's how you can tell
the Vice President is a real Black woman.
262
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,972
You don't see her nowhere.
263
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:25,729
She ain't at the mall,
at the club, nothing.
264
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,023
She in her room at the White House.
265
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,575
Too much shit going on.
266
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,495
Too much shit.
267
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:45,791
It all come down to the lie and the truth.
268
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,001
Just got to deal with it.
269
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,421
Them motherfuckers don't want to tell us
the truth about shit.
270
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,132
Nothing.
271
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,177
You notice they don't even talk
about the war on drugs no more?
272
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,473
You think that's because
there ain't no more war?
273
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,351
Or there ain't no more drugs?
274
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,899
They don't tell us shit!
275
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,361
They don't talk about drugs no more.
276
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,655
'Cause for the first time in history...
277
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:18,949
Black people...
278
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,285
ain't making none of the drugs.
279
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,788
Look at white people. "What?"
280
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,832
[audience laughs]
281
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:27,958
Yep.
282
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,752
Yep. I know, white people.
283
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,713
You finding what I'm saying
hard to believe.
284
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:38,552
I'ma tell you a statistic that's
gonna blow your fucking mind.
285
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,889
There are zero niggas
286
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,850
making Fentanyl.
287
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,486
Look at white people. "What?"
288
00:19:58,739 --> 00:19:59,573
Yep.
289
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,491
You better believe it, white people.
290
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,953
We would notice if niggas
was dropping dead for nothing.
291
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:11,043
I looked up Fentanyl.
That shit is beyond dangerous.
292
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,631
I said, "What you got to do to die?"
They said, "Touch it."
293
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,886
That's when I knew,
niggas ain't involved in this.
294
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,556
We like to touch everything we buy.
295
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,227
We would notice niggas dying
at the purchase.
296
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,438
[audience laughs]
297
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,233
His last words were, "This must be it."
298
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,613
Mm-hmm… Yep.
299
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,074
It's a crazy world out there now.
300
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,660
They don't want to talk to you
about drugs.
301
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,287
They ain't talking
about the opioid crisis.
302
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,915
And it's fucking up everybody's community.
303
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,417
Everybody got a favorite pill.
304
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:56,672
Everybody got a go-to…
305
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,676
for when times get rough.
306
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,346
There's a whole opioid crisis.
They ain't even talkin' about it.
307
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,555
You know why?
308
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,058
'Cause ain't nobody
going the fuck to jail.
309
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:12,562
Ain't no houses getting raided.
Ain't nobody being looked into.
310
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:17,150
You know why?
Because the dealer is your doctor.
311
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,531
Look at niggas. "Dr. Fauci?"
312
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,909
That is not your doctor, niggas.
313
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,205
Stop putting him
on your insurance paperwork now.
314
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,210
"He's the only one I trust."
315
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,215
They don't tell us shit.
316
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,551
If they really want to lie to us,
317
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,428
they don't tell us
nothing about it at all.
318
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:49,766
You notice they don't ever fucking tell
you where methamphetamines come from?
319
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,686
They act like that shit come
from a trailer park.
320
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,940
That's one of the strongest drugs
known to man.
321
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:57,899
[woman] Amen.
322
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,152
There ain't no other drug
make your teeth itch.
323
00:22:04,781 --> 00:22:07,284
Like bitch, I don't even think teeth itch.
324
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,288
You're just scratching the shit
out of your mouth.
325
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,337
They don't want you to know shit
326
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:20,672
about motherfucking meth.
327
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:25,427
Guess who the fuck discovered that shit
and was the first to distribute
328
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:26,970
and manufacture it?
329
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,556
Somebody we all motherfucking know, too.
330
00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:31,600
Adolf Hitler.
331
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,018
[audience laughs, yells]
332
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:33,935
What?
333
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,105
How the fuck did they leave that
out of the book?
334
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:45,238
They told us the Nazis
was the scariest military in the world.
335
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:48,867
But they never told us why.
336
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,079
They was not just making the meth,
337
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,208
they rationing it to themselves.
338
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,376
Every day.
339
00:22:59,586 --> 00:23:02,547
Putting it in chocolate,
and coffee, and tea.
340
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,052
Fuck with the Nazis if you want to, bitch.
341
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,890
Them motherfuckers
is the only military don't need to eat.
342
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:14,976
Or sleep.
343
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:19,606
As long as they got teeth to scratch.
344
00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:26,905
You fighting the Nazis, you look out,
345
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:31,076
they are 750 miles away.
346
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:35,539
We'll see them bitches in three days.
347
00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:37,749
And you go to sleep.
348
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:42,254
When you wake up,
them bitches is in front of the house
349
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,048
on the Ring cam.
350
00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:54,516
[audience laughs, applauds]
351
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:58,395
They don't tell us shit.
352
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:01,398
They lie to all of us.
353
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:07,320
They lie to us
'cause sometimes the truth is ugly.
354
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:08,613
[woman] Yes!
355
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,533
Sometimes the truth… is painful.
356
00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:15,495
But if you love the truth,
it's the motherfucking truth.
357
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,540
But we all get lied to.
358
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:21,334
Look at the Christians, "Not us."
359
00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:27,007
Yep. Y'all too.
360
00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:31,303
Used to be you could count on
the Christians
361
00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:34,598
to holler out a warning to your ass
362
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:38,310
from time to time
that you ain't even ask for.
363
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,645
They'll just throw it out there.
364
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,439
"It's the last days!"
365
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:50,071
Now, the Christians don't say nothing.
366
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,158
Now that there's real plagues outside.
367
00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:57,120
The Christians going to church
on Sunday like Joe Biden.
368
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,087
But the truth is, all of us get lied to.
369
00:25:06,713 --> 00:25:07,964
Even the Christians.
370
00:25:08,757 --> 00:25:10,217
They'll lie to any of us.
371
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:12,636
'Cause they just don't
want you to know the fucking truth
372
00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,763
'cause you might feel good
about yourself.
373
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,140
It's only that,
374
00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:21,019
or they don't want to tell you
'cause they know it'll fuck you up.
375
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,480
But it's the truth though.
376
00:25:24,105 --> 00:25:26,483
They made that whole Garden of Eden up.
377
00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:30,612
Putting slander on our Lord.
378
00:25:31,738 --> 00:25:33,615
Talking about an apple tree.
379
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:37,786
Oh, and they ate the apple.
380
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:41,873
Hey, bitch, my God don't fuck
with fruit like that.
381
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,083
What the fuck?
382
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:47,295
You act like God will put
our whole life on the line
383
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:50,548
over a piece of fruit, bitch?
384
00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:53,593
If God didn't want you to eat the fruit,
385
00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:56,805
he wouldn't have made the fruit.
386
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:02,686
They just covering up a lie.
'Cause the truth too painful.
387
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:05,188
Ain't no motherfucking apple tree, bitch.
388
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:08,608
You are the tree. This is the tree.
389
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:12,070
You the tree, bitch. You are the tree.
390
00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:17,742
All right? So if you the tree,
then what the fuck… is the fruit?
391
00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:20,412
This is the fruit.
392
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:22,372
If this is the tree...
393
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:24,541
this is the fruit.
394
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:27,961
The message was...
395
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:30,797
don't touch the fruit.
396
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,388
They lied to the Christians, too.
397
00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:41,933
Made up a bunch of religious stories
'cause they didn't want you
398
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,102
to know the truth,
'cause the truth is painful.
399
00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:47,272
The truth is, your mama's a ho.
400
00:26:47,605 --> 00:26:49,190
[audience laughs]
401
00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:54,654
Look at the Christians,
"That's far enough, Katt."
402
00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:01,119
Yep.
403
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:04,205
That's the story of Genesis.
404
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:07,459
Your mama's a ho.
405
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:11,046
Look at you. Still don't even
want to believe me? "No!"
406
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:14,841
Yep. You're talking about the lady that...
407
00:27:15,842 --> 00:27:17,927
fucked the man and the snake
408
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:20,472
in front of God!
409
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,642
This bitch was for the streets...
410
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:29,689
5,000 years before they came up
with streets!
411
00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:34,736
[audience whistles, laughs]
412
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,240
But you believe the world is fucked up
413
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,242
'cause of fruit.
414
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:43,078
No, it ain't that.
415
00:27:44,537 --> 00:27:47,165
Adam was God's son.
416
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:49,876
So who the fuck was Eve?
417
00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:54,297
That wasn't his motherfucking wife.
That wasn't his girlfriend.
418
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:56,174
That was God's daughter, bitch.
419
00:27:57,342 --> 00:27:58,468
The fuck?
420
00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,514
That's incest, bitch.
421
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:06,017
That shit cannot be fixed.
422
00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:09,979
That's why they ratchet ass
got thrown out the garden.
423
00:28:13,733 --> 00:28:16,486
There they got 'em as relationship goals.
424
00:28:23,159 --> 00:28:24,828
They're saying they lie to all of us.
425
00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:27,664
Don't want to tell us
nothing about nothing.
426
00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:33,420
We done been to 300 planets in space.
Three hundred!
427
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:37,132
Earth, moon,
428
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:39,926
plus 300!
429
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,305
We done been there.
430
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,560
Now, you notice they ain't never
bringing back no souvenirs?
431
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:55,358
There's some shit
they don't want you to know.
432
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,654
Down here on this planet,
we know all about evolution.
433
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:02,157
Don't we know evolution?
We know exactly how it work.
434
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,326
We know life will find a way.
435
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:07,871
It'll start out small.
436
00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:13,334
And then, it just gets better,
and better, and better, and better.
437
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,003
That's evolution.
438
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:18,339
We done been to 300
motherfucking planets now.
439
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:20,175
And guess what?
440
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,594
It ain't no evolution...
441
00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:24,471
[audience laughs]
442
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:27,640
...on not nair-one
of them goddamn planets!
443
00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:32,103
Not none. Not even a little,
teeny, "nichey" bit.
444
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:34,856
Just rocks and dirt.
445
00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:37,650
Uh-huh. Every single planet.
446
00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:42,405
Uh-huh. 'Cause they found out the two most
valuable things in the universe.
447
00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:46,534
Other than God, it ain't but two things
valuable in the universe.
448
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:48,787
Water.
449
00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:50,955
And pussy.
450
00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:54,834
[audience whoops]
451
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,629
Look at the ladies,
"I'm sitting on one of them."
452
00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:02,425
Look at the Vegas professionals,
"I'm sitting on both of them."
453
00:30:04,844 --> 00:30:07,305
Yeah. They don't want to tell you
that shit.
454
00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:10,058
Nothing else in the world means shit.
455
00:30:11,100 --> 00:30:14,437
Other than God, it's just water and pussy.
456
00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:17,690
Why? 'Cause science ain't make them.
457
00:30:18,399 --> 00:30:19,692
God made them.
458
00:30:20,443 --> 00:30:22,987
You know how you know God made water
and not science?
459
00:30:24,113 --> 00:30:28,243
Water is the only thing in the universe
you know the recipe...
460
00:30:29,369 --> 00:30:30,578
and you can't make none.
461
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,916
[taps on microphone]
462
00:30:34,999 --> 00:30:37,877
"Say it one more time, Katt,
for the people in the back."
463
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:40,129
[audience cheers]
464
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:41,047
Uh-huh.
465
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:47,428
Anything else, you want to make it,
you just need the recipe.
466
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,139
Soon as you get it,
467
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:52,141
you can make you some.
468
00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:54,352
Not this, though.
469
00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:56,229
God made this.
470
00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:59,274
And we all know the recipe,
H to the 2 to the O.
471
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,150
-[woman] Hey!
-[audience laughs]
472
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:03,903
If you put an H and an O together
by yourself,
473
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:06,281
you'll just have a ho.
474
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:13,162
Now, you can lead a ho to water,
but she ain't going to make none.
475
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,167
Yep.
476
00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:21,296
I don't give a fuck how good
at science you are.
477
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:25,758
You can't take hydrogen,
and put that with oxygen,
478
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,927
and come up with no type of water.
479
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:33,683
Not tap water. Not rainwater.
Not Flint water. Nothing.
480
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:37,562
That's 'cause God made it.
481
00:31:38,229 --> 00:31:40,732
It can do five or six things by itself.
482
00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:44,027
It can be ice. You can swim in it.
483
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:47,238
Relax in it. Bathe in it.
484
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:51,242
Swim in it. Drown in it. Die in it.
485
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:55,204
Just like pussy.
That's why they both on the list.
486
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,497
[audience cheers]
487
00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:59,626
Water and pussy.
488
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:05,214
-"Why are you saying pussy, Katt?"
-[woman] Why?
489
00:32:05,298 --> 00:32:06,424
'Cause it's…
490
00:32:07,508 --> 00:32:10,428
the second greatest thing
in the entire universe.
491
00:32:10,803 --> 00:32:16,017
It's something that exists
that mathematically should not exist!
492
00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:22,065
The pussy is a fax machine
before machines.
493
00:32:22,148 --> 00:32:23,566
[audiences whoops]
494
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:26,819
You fuck me, I make a copy of you, nigga.
495
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:33,159
[audience laughs, claps]
496
00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:41,376
And understand...
497
00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:47,674
women don't have magical,
supernatural powers of regrowth.
498
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:51,970
If a woman cuts off her fingertip,
she can't grow it back.
499
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:55,139
But she can grow a whole life...
500
00:32:57,058 --> 00:32:58,559
in her side job.
501
00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:04,107
And still deliver a delicious mango
for you to eat later.
502
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:08,236
Shouldn't exist.
503
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,363
[rolls tongue] But it does.
504
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:15,827
They don't want to tell you that,
'cause you'd value it.
505
00:33:16,869 --> 00:33:19,706
I heard y'all men
under the sound of my voice.
506
00:33:20,873 --> 00:33:23,793
If you don't have a pussy, get you one.
507
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:29,632
They are a valued commodity
in the universe.
508
00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:34,971
Look at some of the fellas, "I have two."
509
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,768
Later, they'll call it investing.
510
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:45,940
They don't tell us shit.
511
00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:50,069
They don't want you to know
you a superhero.
512
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:54,782
Every last person
in here is a motherfucking superhero.
513
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:58,244
I know it don't feel like it tonight.
514
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:01,205
Two hundred motherfucking years from now,
515
00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:03,624
they going to be writing books
about all of y'all.
516
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:09,047
The motherfucking group of motherfuckers
that did shit that cannot be done.
517
00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:13,384
These motherfuckers fought an opp
that cannot be fought.
518
00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:16,512
These motherfuckers' opp was air.
519
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:19,891
They could die at any breath.
520
00:34:20,683 --> 00:34:23,061
They're going to be talking about y'all,
real superheroes,
521
00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:25,313
and it's that time
you can change your whole life
522
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:26,898
if you don't like your life.
523
00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:30,693
You ain't never got to commit suicide.
You can just change, bitch.
524
00:34:31,694 --> 00:34:33,905
Ladies, if you don't like
the way you look,
525
00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:37,533
for $22,000 you can change that shit.
526
00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:42,789
You can go to the Dominican Republic
and come back,
527
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:46,417
and nobody in your family
will recognize you, bitch.
528
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:47,335
[chuckles]
529
00:34:47,418 --> 00:34:49,796
[audience laughs]
530
00:34:52,965 --> 00:34:55,093
You just got to understand,
it's science,
531
00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:58,179
and it's God. Just don't ignore God.
532
00:34:58,262 --> 00:34:59,680
[audience whoops]
533
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,057
Don't overdo it.
534
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,268
God knows what's best for you.
535
00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:09,690
You don't know your spine is built
to take 90 pounds, ladies.
536
00:35:10,733 --> 00:35:14,487
Some of your spines say 90 pounds
at the bottom.
537
00:35:14,570 --> 00:35:17,323
God wrote, right there, 90 pounds.
538
00:35:17,865 --> 00:35:21,702
You done went to the Dominican Republic,
and got 72 pounds of titties,
539
00:35:23,079 --> 00:35:25,039
68 pounds of ass,
540
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,584
and put it on that same stock frame.
541
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,754
When you turn 55, bitch,
542
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:34,507
you are going to fold up like a fan
at the nursing home.
543
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:46,602
But you can be a superhero.
544
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,981
Fellas, they got a trap out there
for us, too.
545
00:35:51,023 --> 00:35:53,526
Sometimes, Satan sounds
just like the Lord.
546
00:35:56,529 --> 00:35:58,030
If you five-foot,
547
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,367
Satan set a trap out there.
548
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:05,204
They got a surgery, five-foot men,
they got a surgery.
549
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:07,540
Only take one night.
550
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,419
It give you six inches of height
551
00:36:12,044 --> 00:36:13,212
overnight!
552
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,300
-Look at the short niggas, "What?"
-[audience cheers]
553
00:36:17,383 --> 00:36:18,759
That's right.
554
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,470
Walk in that bitch 5'5", come out 6'1".
555
00:36:23,764 --> 00:36:24,807
I was tempted.
556
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,310
[audience applauds]
557
00:36:27,393 --> 00:36:29,604
You know how much
motherfucking money I got, bitch?
558
00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:31,397
I could be 7'3" right now.
559
00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:35,526
I'm talking to you niggas
like it's regular.
560
00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:37,111
I'm on my fourth procedure.
561
00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:44,076
But you got to trust God.
562
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:46,829
Can't trust them science for everything.
563
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,125
Yeah. Yeah.
As a fella, you going to look good,
564
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:55,338
leaning on your car for six feet
for the first time.
565
00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:01,427
But eventually, some nigga's going
to ask you to do some nigga shit.
566
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:06,307
And you are not going to be able
to do that shit with your scientific legs.
567
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,520
So, this one nigga wanted to play
basketball, hit you with the...
568
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,316
Their whole body
going to break down, nigga.
569
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:22,823
Nigga, you know these are my new legs.
I got these this weekend.
570
00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:25,701
You niggas know I ain't took these
to the gym or nothing, nigga.
571
00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:28,704
Got two calves on each leg.
572
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,626
[audience cheer]
573
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:38,047
Nobody can beat what God make.
574
00:37:38,464 --> 00:37:40,466
That's what makes pussy so delicious.
575
00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:44,553
Over the pandemic
I was able to explore pussies
576
00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:45,763
I had never even...
577
00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,726
I'd never even tried before.
Different flavors, and...
578
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:54,689
varieties. Mm, mm… All delicious.
579
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:57,942
I learned some shit.
580
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:00,569
I learned I don't even have no preference.
581
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,030
I just got two that I prefer...
582
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:05,408
over the rest.
583
00:38:05,491 --> 00:38:07,159
[audience laughs]
584
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,705
But any 'gina is a good 'gina.
585
00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:17,086
Fellas, think about the worst piece
of pussy you ever come across.
586
00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:20,339
That vagina was worth four penises.
587
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,802
Treasure your vaginas.
588
00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:26,345
They're collectibles.
589
00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:29,515
It's true!
590
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,310
My favorite type of all of them
591
00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,062
is, uh, the creamer.
592
00:38:36,939 --> 00:38:39,025
Ladies, don't do that.
Look at the creamers.
593
00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:41,027
[audience laughs]
594
00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:49,785
Ain't nothing like the creamer.
595
00:38:50,369 --> 00:38:51,203
Whoo!
596
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:54,749
Ladies, science has just found out
that scientifically,
597
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:58,961
for every one drop of cream
your vagina produces,
598
00:38:59,628 --> 00:39:02,590
that is worth 32 extra strokes...
599
00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:07,470
[chuckles]
600
00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:09,972
…from your man at any time.
601
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:15,353
As a man, we can be just ready to quit,
we just in the middle of the dismount.
602
00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:17,897
All right. That's about it.
603
00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:23,611
If you see one little piece of cream,
604
00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:26,447
it's a whole new game now!
605
00:39:27,740 --> 00:39:29,867
Now, motherfuckers
wanna be magicians now.
606
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:34,538
There's the cream. Where's the cream?
There's the cream. Where's the cream?
607
00:39:34,622 --> 00:39:37,541
There's the cream.
Cream on a nigga, then. Cream on a nigga.
608
00:39:37,625 --> 00:39:39,377
[audience laughs]
609
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:40,544
Any cream.
610
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:44,757
Ladies, when science finds out
what food...
611
00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:50,429
makes vagina creamy...
612
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:54,934
that shit ain't going to stay
on the shelf.
613
00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:56,894
It's going to be gone!
614
00:39:57,770 --> 00:40:00,272
Look at the women
with the dry coochies trying to look at me
615
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:02,108
like they know what I'm talking about.
616
00:40:08,906 --> 00:40:10,866
"Cream seems unsanitary."
617
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:14,453
Whoo!
618
00:40:15,162 --> 00:40:17,206
Ain't nothing fucking
with that creamy, now.
619
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:20,209
Only thing better than the creamy...
620
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,503
is the squirter.
621
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,089
Ladies, don't do that shit.
622
00:40:25,172 --> 00:40:26,715
[audience whistling]
623
00:40:26,799 --> 00:40:33,639
No. Statistically, 65% of all men
have heard of a squirter.
624
00:40:34,890 --> 00:40:37,393
But they ain't never been squirted upon.
625
00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:42,940
So you ladies make that noise,
there goes men of all races doing...
626
00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:51,615
'Cause if you come to Vegas
and get a squirter,
627
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,367
nigga, that's like winning the jackpot.
628
00:40:57,121 --> 00:41:00,040
Nothing is better than a squirter.
629
00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:02,960
Now, understand...
630
00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:06,922
as males, we never understood
the squirt, anyway.
631
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:11,343
We always wondered why she wouldn't
632
00:41:12,428 --> 00:41:13,846
let us know…
633
00:41:14,722 --> 00:41:16,182
beforehand...
634
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:21,228
that she's planning on squirting.
635
00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:26,817
Fellas, scientifically...
636
00:41:28,402 --> 00:41:32,281
I found out, women don't even know
637
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:35,117
when they finna squirt.
638
00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:36,619
[audience laughs]
639
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,039
So now, it makes sense
640
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,375
that they always look surprised
641
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:46,212
when we look surprised.
642
00:41:50,716 --> 00:41:52,843
We always looking like, "Hey!"
643
00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:56,013
And they looking like,
"I cannot believe this.
644
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,557
Well, I didn't think
I was this comfortable,
645
00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:00,601
but clearly, you're doing
something right."
646
00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:05,981
Ladies, if you could turn your head
like an owl...
647
00:42:07,441 --> 00:42:10,528
and look at your man back there
being squirted on,
648
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:11,946
you would find out...
649
00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:15,115
that this is the greatest thing
650
00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,911
that can happen with a man and his penis.
651
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:23,165
This is the standing ovation
of the vagina world.
652
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:27,461
If you could just turn around
and see your man,
653
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:31,590
he is back there looking like
a seven-year-old in a sprinkler system.
654
00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:35,678
He is happier than he has ever been
back there.
655
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:38,430
[audience laughs]
656
00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:49,984
Got to love a squirter.
657
00:42:51,151 --> 00:42:52,152
You got to love it.
658
00:42:52,861 --> 00:42:55,739
But now... everything God make...
659
00:42:56,782 --> 00:42:57,950
you can't overdo it.
660
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:00,536
God made sugar.
661
00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:03,998
You eat too much sugar, you'll die.
662
00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:07,042
God made salt.
663
00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:12,798
You can love salt all you want to.
If you eat too much, you'll die.
664
00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:15,676
God put something in all the shit,
665
00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:18,053
even with squirt.
666
00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:24,476
If you had to go on a 100-city tour
and experiment,
667
00:43:25,477 --> 00:43:28,188
and you happen to run across
300 squirters,
668
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:31,775
hypothetically...
669
00:43:36,947 --> 00:43:38,490
you'd find out something...
670
00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:41,493
very interesting.
671
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:45,873
You'd find out for every drop of squirt,
672
00:43:46,999 --> 00:43:49,335
[vocalizing] there is a small,
673
00:43:50,502 --> 00:43:52,671
"teenity"...
674
00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:55,883
itty-bitty...
675
00:43:56,675 --> 00:44:01,055
teeny-weeny percentage of pee…
676
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,518
in all squirts. Not a lot of pee.
677
00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:09,480
Eleven percent. Not a lot of pee.
678
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:11,982
Not a lot of pee.
679
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,485
Just enough pee
for you to smell it one time...
680
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:18,864
in the morning,
and then, never smell it again.
681
00:44:18,947 --> 00:44:20,783
-Just...
-[audience cheers]
682
00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:32,086
It's true.
683
00:44:33,962 --> 00:44:37,007
All women are great women.
684
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:38,801
Get yourself one.
685
00:44:39,593 --> 00:44:41,679
The pandemic taught me
there ain't no wrong one.
686
00:44:42,721 --> 00:44:45,683
All women is the right one.
Get yourself one.
687
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:49,269
Get yourself a big girl,
if you got a choice.
688
00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:51,855
You need a big girl.
689
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:54,608
I was in the pandemic.
I tried. I saw. I conquered.
690
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,443
-I felt it. I know.
-[audience cheers]
691
00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:59,154
If you want to go through a pandemic,
get you a big woman.
692
00:44:59,238 --> 00:45:02,157
It'll be the easiest pandemic you ever--
693
00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:03,659
You can trust a big woman.
694
00:45:03,742 --> 00:45:06,370
You don't even know,
you don't even know you hungry,
695
00:45:06,453 --> 00:45:07,788
and she already cooking.
696
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:13,669
Your stomach look at her first,
"I think she got it."
697
00:45:13,752 --> 00:45:15,045
[audience laughs]
698
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,215
A big woman is perfect in the pandemic.
699
00:45:18,632 --> 00:45:20,092
She do everything right.
700
00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:23,846
If it's cold,
she'll heat up the whole room...
701
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,391
cracking her legs one time.
702
00:45:29,726 --> 00:45:30,727
If it's too hot,
703
00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:34,064
she won't even touch you skin to skin,
she don't want it to stick.
704
00:45:36,608 --> 00:45:38,193
Fellas, you get with a big girl,
705
00:45:38,277 --> 00:45:41,196
you'll feel your body do some shit
you ain't never felt your body do,
706
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,282
and your body
ain't never been trained to do.
707
00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:47,661
All you need to do is get a big enough
girl and you will feel your body nestle.
708
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:51,123
Look at niggas, "What?"
709
00:45:53,709 --> 00:45:56,712
If you ever roll over on a woman
bigger than you, you just...
710
00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:59,465
-[clears throat]
-[audience laughs]
711
00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:04,887
It's the safest sleep you ever going
to have, nestled up there.
712
00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:06,180
I'm trying to tell you now.
713
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:09,850
Yes.
714
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:12,811
All the women is excited.
715
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:14,313
I got me a short girl.
716
00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:16,690
I've never had a short girl before,
'cause I'm short.
717
00:46:17,399 --> 00:46:19,193
What the fuck would I be doing
with somebody short?
718
00:46:19,276 --> 00:46:20,986
But I was missing out.
719
00:46:21,069 --> 00:46:24,364
I didn't know they was that much fun.
I fucked a short girl in the car.
720
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:29,411
This bitch was in every chair in the car,
and me and my dick never moved.
721
00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:35,334
She was just 'bout that life!
722
00:46:39,004 --> 00:46:40,255
I like a giant girl.
723
00:46:41,298 --> 00:46:43,008
No disrespect to the tall girls.
724
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,802
I don't mean 5'9", 5'12", none of that.
725
00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:49,097
I'm talking about 6'4", 6'5", up.
726
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:51,433
I'm talking about a giant woman.
727
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:54,770
How big you want 'em, Katt? "Giant."
728
00:46:55,812 --> 00:46:59,316
I want her so big if she cooking breakfast
in the kitchen...
729
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,902
in one of them summer dresses,
730
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,696
I want to be able to slide up right
between the vagina
731
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,323
without breaking a stride.
732
00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:14,706
Grab that clitoris like a red-nose pit.
733
00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:17,834
-[growls]
-[audience laughs]
734
00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:28,178
I like a woman so big
you got to fuck her in two rooms.
735
00:47:34,851 --> 00:47:37,104
That's why you got one of them WNBA girls.
736
00:47:37,854 --> 00:47:39,356
You fuck her in two rooms.
737
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,485
I'm in the bedroom locked in for damage.
738
00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,702
[audience laughs]
739
00:47:57,457 --> 00:48:00,919
Every 150 strokes I go check on her
in the living room.
740
00:48:04,339 --> 00:48:07,384
"How's that working out for you, baby?
Is that doing anything? How am I doing?
741
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:10,095
Oh, I'm killing it?
I'm going to take it to the bridge, then.
742
00:48:10,178 --> 00:48:11,722
I'm going to take it to the bridge!
743
00:48:20,063 --> 00:48:21,189
Just saying, I like...
744
00:48:23,275 --> 00:48:24,610
I like all the girls.
745
00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:27,571
I ain't got no favorites.
746
00:48:29,072 --> 00:48:30,324
But I'll say this,
747
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,118
there's some women
don't get their flowers at all.
748
00:48:33,452 --> 00:48:35,871
There's a group of women
around the whole world
749
00:48:36,371 --> 00:48:37,956
that nobody ever talks about.
750
00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:42,002
And they keep everything going.
And they'll never get no credit.
751
00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:45,422
We going to talk about them,
and give them their credit tonight.
752
00:48:47,132 --> 00:48:51,178
Where's all the fellas in here
with an ugly woman? Make some noise.
753
00:48:51,261 --> 00:48:55,807
[audience groans, laughs]
754
00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:01,438
Some people saw their whole marriage
go before their eyes.
755
00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:06,109
Katt, I trusted you!
756
00:49:09,821 --> 00:49:10,656
Look...
757
00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:18,830
[chuckles] Everybody in here
with somebody ugly know better.
758
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:20,415
They just staring at me like this.
759
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,421
[audience laughs]
760
00:49:32,886 --> 00:49:33,720
No.
761
00:49:34,888 --> 00:49:36,640
You supposed to want what you need.
762
00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:40,811
You supposed to want what you need.
763
00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:44,106
When you was in the bathroom,
crying to the Lord...
764
00:49:48,568 --> 00:49:50,529
you said, "Send me the bitch I need!"
765
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:54,574
That is the bitch you need.
766
00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,035
Yeah.
767
00:49:57,452 --> 00:49:59,830
Yeah. Stop judging people
768
00:50:01,456 --> 00:50:02,958
by the outside only.
769
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:04,751
Fuck you mean?
770
00:50:05,168 --> 00:50:07,045
The ugliest people be pretty.
771
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,755
They still ugly.
772
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:13,552
Every man in here with an ugly woman
knows something the world don't know.
773
00:50:15,053 --> 00:50:16,930
She might be ugly to you...
774
00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,308
She ain't ugly to me.
775
00:50:21,643 --> 00:50:23,145
I ain't going to tell you why.
776
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:25,814
But sometimes you need an ugly woman.
777
00:50:25,897 --> 00:50:28,608
An ugly woman will save
your motherfucking life.
778
00:50:33,947 --> 00:50:35,824
You can be famous being ugly.
779
00:50:39,035 --> 00:50:41,455
All of us know the story
of Harriet Tubman.
780
00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:47,502
They don't tell us but two things
about Harriet.
781
00:50:48,795 --> 00:50:52,841
They tell us that she freed the slaves...
782
00:50:54,134 --> 00:50:56,386
-and...
-[audience] And…
783
00:50:56,887 --> 00:50:58,096
…she was ugly.
784
00:51:04,352 --> 00:51:05,353
Give a fuck.
785
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:07,314
It's the truth!
786
00:51:07,981 --> 00:51:10,692
It's what the fuck they say.
She freed the slaves.
787
00:51:11,526 --> 00:51:14,946
And... she was ugly.
788
00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:18,408
It's a motherfucking lie.
789
00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:22,996
Harriet... was motherfucking beautiful.
790
00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:27,626
Slavery was the ugly bitch.
791
00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:29,419
[audience applauds]
792
00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,840
One more time for the people
in the back, Katt. I said...
793
00:51:35,383 --> 00:51:37,928
-Harriet was beautiful.
-[audience cheers]
794
00:51:38,011 --> 00:51:40,639
Slavery was ugly.
795
00:51:41,556 --> 00:51:43,016
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
796
00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:45,769
And to free the slaves...
797
00:51:47,145 --> 00:51:49,064
Harriet needed to be ugly.
798
00:51:50,565 --> 00:51:52,192
'Cause the enemy was ugly.
799
00:51:54,486 --> 00:51:57,239
Harriet wasn't the only woman
out there freeing slaves.
800
00:51:57,948 --> 00:51:59,866
There was another woman
out there freeing slaves.
801
00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:01,201
Her name was Beulah.
802
00:52:03,286 --> 00:52:05,580
She was beautiful.
Looked like Tracee Ellis Ross.
803
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:08,166
Light skin, hair down to her ass,
bubble butt,
804
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,585
smelled like fruit and berries.
Everybody loved her.
805
00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:14,422
Thousands of slaves followed Beulah.
806
00:52:15,757 --> 00:52:18,969
But beautiful couldn't get you away
from being a slave.
807
00:52:19,052 --> 00:52:20,595
You needed ugly.
808
00:52:21,429 --> 00:52:25,267
'Cause your life was on the line, bitch.
This is real slavery.
809
00:52:26,268 --> 00:52:28,478
You in the real woods.
810
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,606
[trembling voice] This is really midnight.
811
00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:38,238
And if anybody see you...
812
00:52:39,155 --> 00:52:42,075
from an adult to a small child...
813
00:52:43,034 --> 00:52:45,203
your ass is dead, bitch.
814
00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:48,164
And you going through them woods.
815
00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:01,177
You hear them dogs coming from a distance.
816
00:53:01,636 --> 00:53:03,096
[imitates barking]
817
00:53:04,347 --> 00:53:07,767
That's generally when niggas get scared,
start running, and get killed.
818
00:53:11,187 --> 00:53:13,690
But you ain't have to be scared
if you was with Harriet.
819
00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:18,403
Them dogs will come. [imitates barking]
820
00:53:18,904 --> 00:53:22,699
And Harriet will get down
eye-to-eye with them dogs.
821
00:53:24,743 --> 00:53:26,161
[audience laughs]
822
00:53:26,244 --> 00:53:28,121
[imitates barking]
823
00:53:30,248 --> 00:53:32,292
Pull a pistol out of her panties.
824
00:53:33,084 --> 00:53:36,171
You just hear the dogs...
[imitates barking]
825
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,722
A lot of people followed Beulah.
826
00:53:47,349 --> 00:53:48,433
She was beautiful.
827
00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:52,896
But that bitch didn't have the GPS
of a box of rocks.
828
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:57,734
Three thousand slaves
followed that beautiful bitch,
829
00:53:57,817 --> 00:54:02,447
and wound up on their same master's
plantation at three in the afternoon.
830
00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:08,662
"Damn it, Beulah!"
831
00:54:16,753 --> 00:54:19,214
Just got to thank God for small blessings.
832
00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:22,217
I like all vaginas.
833
00:54:26,596 --> 00:54:28,264
But there's something about a big clit.
834
00:54:30,684 --> 00:54:32,644
Ladies, don't identify yourselves.
835
00:54:35,313 --> 00:54:37,399
I'm saying,
all clitorises are fine, but...
836
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:40,610
something about that big clit.
837
00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:42,946
Fellas, if you in here...
838
00:54:44,614 --> 00:54:46,241
with Big Clit, I don't mean to be...
839
00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:47,784
[audience laughs]
840
00:54:48,910 --> 00:54:50,286
…disrespectful or nothing.
841
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:53,456
I'm not going to refer to it
as that anymore. I'm going to say...
842
00:54:54,582 --> 00:54:56,501
say there's a gentleman here
with B.C.
843
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:03,967
[chuckles]
844
00:55:07,429 --> 00:55:09,347
Now, the fellas in here with Big Clit...
845
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,850
-[man] Can I raise my hand?
-Don't raise your hand, sir.
846
00:55:13,268 --> 00:55:14,936
He said, "Can I raise my hand?"
847
00:55:19,065 --> 00:55:23,570
Fellas, have you ever seen a clitoris
so big it shamed your penis?
848
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,282
You just caught it at the wrong angle.
849
00:55:29,451 --> 00:55:32,454
Looked at that wrong.
Did that bitch have a hook in it?
850
00:55:36,666 --> 00:55:38,209
Some of the fellas are looking at me
851
00:55:38,293 --> 00:55:40,211
because you don't know
if your girl's clitoris is...
852
00:55:40,962 --> 00:55:43,798
big or... too big.
853
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,052
But that ain't true.
854
00:55:47,677 --> 00:55:50,472
'Cause your body will let you know
if the clitoris is too big.
855
00:55:53,933 --> 00:55:57,020
Fellas, you know your relationship
with the vagina is a dance.
856
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:00,648
[audience laughs]
857
00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:07,906
You feel your body doing something
that's unnatural.
858
00:56:09,407 --> 00:56:10,784
That's a red flag.
859
00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:13,036
So if you eating the pussy,
860
00:56:13,119 --> 00:56:16,414
and you feel yourself doing something
you ain't never done while eating pussy...
861
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,500
You feel yourself go...
862
00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:28,635
Abort mission! [imitates alarm]
863
00:56:28,718 --> 00:56:31,721
That's a dick-sucking move!
What was that?
864
00:56:32,430 --> 00:56:34,682
If you eating pussy,
and you feel yourself go...
865
00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:41,606
Fellas, you ever have to hold the clitoris
with both your fingers?
866
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:45,860
You catch yourself in the mirror.
867
00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:52,283
I am sucking this bitch's penis.
868
00:57:03,002 --> 00:57:04,170
In conclusion...
869
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,964
[audience laughs]
870
00:57:08,633 --> 00:57:10,844
...there ain't nothing like that big clit,
'cause that...
871
00:57:10,969 --> 00:57:13,304
-[woman] Shut up!
-I won't shut up.
872
00:57:14,764 --> 00:57:16,641
You hear how that big clit just talk?
873
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:18,601
Shut up!
874
00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,522
It'll be all right
875
00:57:22,605 --> 00:57:26,151
for us, fellas, when it first start.
But when it don't stop growing,
876
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,319
we don't know what to do. So...
877
00:57:31,239 --> 00:57:32,699
[chuckles]
878
00:57:33,950 --> 00:57:36,286
You be thinking the clitoris
at its regular size...
879
00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:38,496
and you'll be licking,
880
00:57:38,580 --> 00:57:40,665
and that motherfucker swell up
in your mouth...
881
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:52,760
Fellas, if you've ever licked up
under your woman's clitoris, it means.
882
00:57:53,636 --> 00:57:54,971
Thank y'all so much, Vegas.
883
00:57:55,054 --> 00:57:57,974
Have a good night, and God bless y'all.
I appreciate you.
884
00:57:58,057 --> 00:58:02,520
-[audience cheering]
-[rap music playing]