1 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:10,643 {\an2}Samson said baptism is a test from God. 2 00:00:10,683 --> 00:00:12,483 {\an2}If he doesn't accept me? 3 00:00:12,523 --> 00:00:13,963 {\an2}What if nobody does? 4 00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:19,483 {\an2}Aaron, I will always defend who you are. 5 00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:22,643 {\an2}I promise you'll rise from the water a new man, 6 00:00:22,683 --> 00:00:25,643 {\an2}independent and self-sufficient like me. 7 00:00:30,123 --> 00:00:33,123 {\an2}Do you want me to tie it? Yes, please. 8 00:00:37,883 --> 00:00:40,243 {\an2}OK. Last boxes. And before you ask why I'm in black, 9 00:00:40,283 --> 00:00:42,643 {\an2}I'm still in mourning for my dignity. 10 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:45,643 {\an2}Fiona, you weren't sick on Andrew's actual wife, 11 00:00:45,683 --> 00:00:48,323 {\an2}just the symbol of their undying love. 12 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,043 {\an2}That's worse. 13 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:52,443 {\an2}Actually, now I've said it out loud, it is worse. 14 00:00:53,843 --> 00:00:55,043 {\an1}TV PLAYS 15 00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:56,243 {\an1}PHONE BUZZES 16 00:01:00,203 --> 00:01:03,283 {\an2}You can't be here! My family's inside. 17 00:01:03,323 --> 00:01:06,843 {\an2}I'd just like to speak to you about the air ambulance. 18 00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:08,043 {\an2}What? 19 00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:12,123 {\an2}I know the air ambulance has had problems recently. 20 00:01:12,163 --> 00:01:17,163 {\an2}There's been a lack of transparency about, um... its past. 21 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,283 {\an2}But if you'd like to be a part 22 00:01:20,323 --> 00:01:22,803 {\an2}of its rehabilitation story, read this. 23 00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:33,203 {\an2}Thanks, but I'm not sure I do want to be a part of it. 24 00:01:34,683 --> 00:01:37,363 {\an2}Your charity just really let me down... 25 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:40,843 {\an2}..when I needed it. 26 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,443 {\an2}Rachel, you should talk to Julia. 27 00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:43,483 {\an2}Please just go. 28 00:01:57,483 --> 00:01:59,203 {\an2}Huh, charity workers. 29 00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:03,003 {\an2}Imagine knocking on doors to force your ideology on people. 30 00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:04,643 {\an2}It boggles the mind. 31 00:02:22,123 --> 00:02:23,363 {\an2}Have you seen my friend Julia? 32 00:02:23,403 --> 00:02:26,203 {\an2}She's not answering her phone. She's about this high. 33 00:02:26,243 --> 00:02:28,963 {\an8}She wears, like, chunky trainers. Shoplifts all the time? 34 00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:30,923 {\an2}Yeah. I banned her for life. 35 00:02:30,963 --> 00:02:33,923 {\an2}She tried to swipe a whole Chupa Chups carousel. 36 00:02:33,963 --> 00:02:35,963 {\an2}It was like she wanted to get caught. 37 00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:37,803 {\an2}Are you going to buy summat? 38 00:02:37,843 --> 00:02:39,043 {\an2}What's that? 39 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:44,283 {\an2}Oh, the most caffeine you can legally buy in one can. 40 00:02:45,443 --> 00:02:46,683 {\an1}SHE PUTS COINS DOWN 41 00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:52,083 {\an2}I feel bad enabling this. 42 00:02:56,923 --> 00:02:59,363 {\an2}MAN: You've got another one to get in. 43 00:02:59,403 --> 00:03:02,203 {\an2}Are you sure you've got enough room? Yeah, it'll all fit. 44 00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:04,843 {\an2}They're taking forever. 45 00:03:04,883 --> 00:03:07,403 {\an2}Ooh, my back's about to go. 46 00:03:07,443 --> 00:03:09,603 {\an2}I'd like to speak to an elder. 47 00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:20,203 {\an2}That's strange. I thought I heard something there, 48 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:23,043 {\an2}but I can't be sure. I want to come back. 49 00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:24,923 {\an2}Abijah, did you just say something then? 50 00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:26,883 {\an2}Well... No, you didn't. 51 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:31,123 {\an2}I'm making an official request under the charter to return. 52 00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:39,763 {\an2}Come on, Dad. 53 00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:47,803 {\an2}After three years, it's finally just you and me, and Abijah. 54 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:51,603 {\an2}For administrative reasons, Abijah has to be here. 55 00:03:51,643 --> 00:03:52,883 {\an2}Hey, Joshua. 56 00:03:52,923 --> 00:03:55,043 {\an2}I had no idea Samson had a son. 57 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,283 {\an2}This is a great day. 58 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,523 {\an2}Quiet, Abijah! 59 00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,323 {\an2}ABIJAH WHISPERS: It's a great day. 60 00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,563 {\an2}So, you decided to come back all on your own? 61 00:04:03,483 --> 00:04:05,283 {\an2}No order member persuaded you? 62 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:07,683 {\an2}Of course not. That'd be forbidden. 63 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:10,443 {\an2}So it was a coincidence, then, that a female ordinand 64 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:13,443 {\an2}made 12 visits to your exact block. 65 00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,603 {\an2}Oh, wow. How did we miss that? 66 00:04:15,643 --> 00:04:17,763 {\an2}You file that report, Abijah. 67 00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:19,323 {\an2}We'll be talking afterwards. 68 00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:23,443 {\an2}Someone came, but they had no idea that I'd been excluded. 69 00:04:23,483 --> 00:04:24,483 {\an2}Right. 70 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:29,643 {\an2}So then why did you put a fake name on a preaching card? 71 00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:32,443 {\an2}The guilty heart always reveals itself. 72 00:04:33,883 --> 00:04:35,923 {\an2}Which order member was it? 73 00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:39,163 {\an2}You already know. I want to hear it from your mouth. 74 00:04:44,683 --> 00:04:45,683 {\an2}Rachel. 75 00:04:46,843 --> 00:04:47,843 {\an2}Rachel Lewis. 76 00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:52,803 {\an2}Thank you, Joshua. 77 00:04:59,243 --> 00:05:00,523 {\an2}Do you like gifs? 78 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,123 {\an2}Rachel. 79 00:05:06,163 --> 00:05:08,843 {\an2}You look as good as I feel. What are you doing here? 80 00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:12,803 {\an2}The cafe around the corner does a hangover smoothie. Charcoal, ginger 81 00:05:12,843 --> 00:05:15,683 {\an2}and I think they shove some crushed-up paracetamol 82 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,203 {\an2}in there as well. Does it work? 83 00:05:17,243 --> 00:05:20,203 {\an2}It makes me throw up. So, yeah. 84 00:05:20,243 --> 00:05:23,683 {\an2}Joel invited me to his confirmation thing 85 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,443 {\an2}at your congress... thing. 86 00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:26,803 {\an2}Are you going to go? 87 00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:29,043 {\an2}Is heckling encouraged? 88 00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:31,203 {\an2}No. I'll skip it, then. 89 00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:34,803 {\an2}I thought your religion was anti-caffeine. 90 00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:38,163 {\an2}I'm a caffeine-chugging harlot. It's just one can. 91 00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:41,003 {\an8}Oh. Josh and I had a big fight. 92 00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:44,203 {\an2}I don't think we're going to recover. 93 00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,483 {\an2}Is that why you decided not to do the uni thing? 94 00:05:46,523 --> 00:05:47,763 {\an2}What? 95 00:05:47,803 --> 00:05:49,883 {\an2}You deleted your application. 96 00:05:49,923 --> 00:05:51,523 {\an2}Or someone did. 97 00:05:53,243 --> 00:05:54,523 {\an2}Look. 98 00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:57,003 {\an2}I have to go. 99 00:05:59,563 --> 00:06:01,403 {\an2}I'm going to have that. 100 00:06:01,443 --> 00:06:03,203 {\an2}Have you seen Andrew? 101 00:06:03,243 --> 00:06:06,083 {\an2}He said he'd guide me gently through this. 102 00:06:06,123 --> 00:06:07,363 {\an2}Don't worry, my friend. 103 00:06:07,403 --> 00:06:09,163 {\an2}This is a joyful occasion. 104 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:13,043 {\an2}It's relaxed, it's loose. It's chill. OK, everyone. 105 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:16,923 {\an2}Inside this building are our so-called neighbours. 106 00:06:18,403 --> 00:06:20,683 {\an2}But don't be deceived. 107 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:23,083 {\an2}You're about to enter a battleground. 108 00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:25,923 {\an2}Well, it's a happy meeting place for all our different chapters... 109 00:06:25,963 --> 00:06:28,843 {\an2}A hostile battleground, Abijah. 110 00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:34,083 {\an2}Neckties. 111 00:06:34,123 --> 00:06:35,123 {\an2}Bibles. 112 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,003 {\an2}Give no quarter. 113 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,523 {\an2}# This little light of mine 114 00:06:46,563 --> 00:06:48,523 {\an2}# I'm gonna let it shine 115 00:06:48,563 --> 00:06:51,923 {\an2}# This little light of mine... # 116 00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:54,283 {\an2}This all seems quite amicable. 117 00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:56,363 {\an2}Why was he lining us up in formation? 118 00:06:56,403 --> 00:06:58,723 {\an2}Ah, Dunstan, God's only mistake. 119 00:06:58,763 --> 00:07:03,083 {\an2}Samson, just as decadent as always. 120 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,803 {\an2}I'm a chaste servant of my flock. 121 00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,243 {\an2}I count three different colours in your outfit. 122 00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:09,843 {\an2}Jesus was a carpenter. 123 00:07:10,883 --> 00:07:12,283 {\an2}I'd like you to meet Joel. 124 00:07:12,323 --> 00:07:14,163 {\an2}He's our convert. 125 00:07:14,203 --> 00:07:16,603 {\an2}Have you got a convert this year? 126 00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:17,883 {\an2}I helped bring him in. 127 00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:20,683 {\an2}David, you defaced my home. 128 00:07:20,723 --> 00:07:22,803 {\an2}I'm still considering pressing charges. 129 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,443 {\an2}Well, I'm doing lots of other work for our chapter today. 130 00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,123 {\an2}The boys have given me a job. We also have the most stalls here. 131 00:07:29,163 --> 00:07:30,603 {\an2}Nothing to be proud of. 132 00:07:30,643 --> 00:07:32,563 {\an2}These stalls are wanton. 133 00:07:32,603 --> 00:07:35,683 {\an8}Our only stall is a protest against stalls. 134 00:07:40,723 --> 00:07:41,883 {\an2}Cheer up, Fiona. 135 00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:43,843 {\an2}We're about to feed the 5,000, 136 00:07:43,883 --> 00:07:45,443 {\an2}but with bags, not fish. 137 00:07:45,483 --> 00:07:47,763 {\an2}And the miracle is our profit margin. 138 00:07:47,803 --> 00:07:50,883 {\an2}Yes, I'm probably overselling this Andrew situation, right? 139 00:07:50,923 --> 00:07:53,683 {\an2}I'm sure he's not even thought about it. 140 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,203 {\an1}STIFLED SOB 141 00:07:57,523 --> 00:07:59,363 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah, maybe. 142 00:07:59,403 --> 00:08:02,003 {\an2}I might not be a good neighbour, but at least I'm a good mother. 143 00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:07,283 {\an2}I deleted Rachel's uni application to protect her from temptation. 144 00:08:07,323 --> 00:08:08,523 {\an2}Wow. 145 00:08:08,563 --> 00:08:10,483 {\an2}That is cold-hearted parenting. 146 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:14,643 {\an2}I mean, even Matilda's mum lets her get adopted at the end. 147 00:08:20,523 --> 00:08:22,323 {\an2}Can't we just use a hose? 148 00:08:22,363 --> 00:08:24,563 {\an2}The buckets need to be individually blessed, Aaron. 149 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:27,043 {\an2}Hose water won't take you to the afterlife. 150 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,603 {\an1}MUSIC PLAYS 151 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,923 {\an2}Who are those guys? They're the Ancoats chapter. 152 00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:36,603 {\an2}They're off to hell. 153 00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:38,403 {\an2}The rainbow belongs to God. 154 00:08:38,443 --> 00:08:40,363 {\an2}Can I go speak to them? 155 00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:42,003 {\an2}Aaron, keep your voice down. 156 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:45,083 {\an2}But... Shush, Aaron. Shush. 157 00:08:49,483 --> 00:08:51,523 {\an2}Joel, apologies for my lateness. 158 00:08:51,563 --> 00:08:54,123 {\an2}I was, um, gardening. 159 00:08:54,163 --> 00:08:57,483 {\an2}Oh. Was it that, er... tree you were talking about? 160 00:08:57,523 --> 00:08:58,643 {\an2}I tried to save her, 161 00:08:58,683 --> 00:09:01,523 {\an2}but for the second time in her life, Mary is dead. 162 00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:05,203 {\an2}Well, I'm relieved you're here. 163 00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:07,963 {\an2}It's felt a bit confrontational so far. 164 00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:09,243 {\an2}There's no confrontation. 165 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,763 {\an2}Everyone here is our brothers and sisters. 166 00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,883 {\an2}Oh, the Worsley chapter. 167 00:09:13,923 --> 00:09:16,363 {\an2}Abijah, don't let me do anything I'll regret. 168 00:09:16,403 --> 00:09:19,683 {\an2}Why would you do something you'd regret? 169 00:09:19,723 --> 00:09:27,123 {\an2}# Samson, oh, Samson... # 170 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:30,883 {\an2}Oh, Lord, I can feel the hate rising up. 171 00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:32,443 {\an2}Samson, we sent you tickets 172 00:09:32,483 --> 00:09:36,123 {\an2}for our production of Joseph And The Dreamcoat. You never came. 173 00:09:36,163 --> 00:09:39,043 {\an2}There's a place in hell for you next to Lloyd Webber. 174 00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,203 {\an2}Well, I loved it. 175 00:09:40,243 --> 00:09:43,443 {\an2}I thought you dealt with the whole polygamy aspect very tastefully. 176 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,803 {\an2}Abijah. Sorry, my hands are wet. Abijah. 177 00:09:48,123 --> 00:09:50,523 {\an1}INAUDIBLE CHAT 178 00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:52,363 {\an2}Hold still. Thanks, Abijah. 179 00:09:52,403 --> 00:09:55,443 {\an2}Can't wait to save the day with my chocolate voice. 180 00:09:55,483 --> 00:09:58,843 {\an2}Well, stick to the script and all will be well. 181 00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:01,523 {\an2}Attention, everyone. 182 00:10:01,563 --> 00:10:04,643 {\an2}TANNOY: People will be getting baptised from 4.30, 183 00:10:04,683 --> 00:10:07,723 {\an2}including Aaron, Aaron Lewis, and some others. 184 00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:11,643 {\an2}That was an ad-lib. Yeah. 185 00:10:11,683 --> 00:10:14,723 {\an2}Dad, did you delete my university application? 186 00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:18,203 {\an2}Not knowingly, but I do a lot of things on the home computer. 187 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,643 {\an2}I understand at most half. 188 00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:23,483 {\an2}Did you do it? Hand on heart, Rachel, I don't remember, 189 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,203 {\an2}but almost certainly yes. 190 00:10:27,203 --> 00:10:29,243 {\an2}You've ruined everything! 191 00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:32,323 {\an2}Uni is a moral hazard, Rachel. 192 00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:35,283 {\an2}God didn't need a 2:1 to create the Earth. 193 00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:39,123 {\an2}Your daughter looks... 194 00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:40,283 {\an2}..I want to say unhinged. 195 00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,323 {\an2}Your daughter looks unhinged. 196 00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:44,043 {\an2}I did what I had to do. 197 00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:47,123 {\an2}OK, you can fuck up your kids however you like. 198 00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,723 {\an2}Just letting you know it's happening. 199 00:10:49,763 --> 00:10:52,483 {\an2}Andrew's coming. Fight or flight, should I stay or should I go? 200 00:10:52,523 --> 00:10:54,683 {\an2}Sell, Fiona. The answer's always sell. 201 00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:57,443 {\an2}Andrew, you look sad. Do you want a badge? Hi, Fiona. 202 00:10:57,483 --> 00:11:01,083 {\an2}I thought I'd come and clear the air and tell you that everything's fine. 203 00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:02,683 {\an2}Is your tree OK? No. It's dead. 204 00:11:02,723 --> 00:11:06,523 {\an2}With the acid in your stomach, the soil pH dropped to 7.25. 205 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:08,443 {\an2}She didn't stand a chance. 206 00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:09,963 {\an2}But it's fine. I've moved on. 207 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,683 {\an2}Really? Joel's been reborn, 208 00:11:11,723 --> 00:11:14,283 {\an2}so I'm going to put all of my effort into him. 209 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:17,363 {\an2}Yes, as long as he converts, it'll be fine. 210 00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:19,323 {\an2}He's my new Mary. 211 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,803 {\an2}Julia. 212 00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:36,243 {\an2}Oh, hello, sister. Blessings be. 213 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:39,043 {\an2}Why have you been ignoring me? 214 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,563 {\an2}Elder Dunstan called upon me 215 00:11:40,603 --> 00:11:43,843 {\an2}to assist in the lemon drizzle cake competition. 216 00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:46,803 {\an2}Thought it was going to be an easy-going role, but... 217 00:11:46,843 --> 00:11:47,883 {\an2}Taste, then spit. 218 00:11:47,923 --> 00:11:49,683 {\an2}You have 27 more cakes to go. 219 00:11:49,723 --> 00:11:51,563 {\an2}Swallowing would be folly. 220 00:11:57,323 --> 00:11:58,883 {\an2}I need to talk to you about Joshua. 221 00:11:58,923 --> 00:12:00,363 {\an2}I believe in Scripture. 222 00:12:00,403 --> 00:12:04,083 {\an2}Joshua led the Israelite conquest of Canaan. 223 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:08,603 {\an2}I mean the Joshua who... committed fornication. 224 00:12:08,643 --> 00:12:09,843 {\an2}Wow! 225 00:12:09,883 --> 00:12:11,003 {\an2}Who made this cake? 226 00:12:11,043 --> 00:12:12,043 {\an2}My chapter. 227 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:16,123 {\an2}We consider self-raising flour a sign of decadence. 228 00:12:20,443 --> 00:12:24,043 {\an2}Elder, can I take a moment, please? 229 00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:26,483 {\an2}Are these cakes a game to you? 230 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,003 {\an2}In earlier verses of the Bible, 231 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,683 {\an2}Joshua met someone at summer camp. 232 00:12:34,723 --> 00:12:38,763 {\an2}Summer camp? An oasis in the Judean desert. 233 00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:43,723 {\an2}Eventually they were found out, but he took the fall 234 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,123 {\an2}so that she could stay 235 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:48,803 {\an2}and her parents would never discover what they'd done. 236 00:12:50,243 --> 00:12:52,843 {\an2}That's not at all how the Book of Joshua goes. 237 00:12:52,883 --> 00:12:54,243 {\an2}Bye, Rachel. 238 00:12:57,323 --> 00:12:58,723 {\an2}Bucket. 239 00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,563 {\an2}What are you drawing? 240 00:13:03,603 --> 00:13:05,803 {\an2}My Bible here is visiting the city. 241 00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:08,923 {\an2}Here's Jesus enjoying some Manchester Vimto. 242 00:13:08,963 --> 00:13:11,243 {\an2}He likes it so much that he turned the whole canal 243 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,603 {\an2}into a blackcurrant blast. 244 00:13:12,643 --> 00:13:14,483 {\an2}It's a fruitful collaboration. 245 00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:16,123 {\an2}What's this bit? 246 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,643 {\an2}The gay village. Wow. 247 00:13:18,683 --> 00:13:20,123 {\an2}And your dad's OK with that? 248 00:13:20,163 --> 00:13:22,283 {\an2}Of course. They both are. It's where they met. 249 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:40,643 {\an2}Rachel, sometimes as a mother, you have to make hard decisions 250 00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:44,443 {\an2}for the sake of your family's future. 251 00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:46,403 {\an2}What? 252 00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:48,523 {\an2}There's a path... 253 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,363 {\an2}..where I end up in heaven and you don't join me. 254 00:13:54,523 --> 00:13:56,563 {\an2}I will never let that happen. 255 00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,403 {\an2}And that's why I did what I had to do. 256 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,123 {\an2}You deleted my application? 257 00:14:05,163 --> 00:14:07,323 {\an2}I removed temptation from you. 258 00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:09,003 {\an2}You hypocrite! 259 00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,883 {\an2}You didn't get to go to university, 260 00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:14,923 {\an2}so now you're dragging me down with you. 261 00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:16,443 {\an2}You started a business. 262 00:14:16,483 --> 00:14:18,123 {\an2}You created something. 263 00:14:18,163 --> 00:14:19,683 {\an2}You bent the rules to do it. 264 00:14:19,723 --> 00:14:22,563 {\an2}Now I have to spend the rest of my life wondering 265 00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:25,243 {\an2}what I might have achieved if my mum hadn't got in the way. 266 00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:27,123 {\an2}There's nothing to be done now. 267 00:14:27,163 --> 00:14:28,643 {\an2}The application's been deleted 268 00:14:28,683 --> 00:14:31,603 {\an2}and Samson would never allow you to go anyway. What the fuck? 269 00:14:36,603 --> 00:14:38,963 {\an2}My daughter doesn't usually swear like that. 270 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:42,403 {\an2}If she even knows that word, you've failed as a mother. 271 00:14:47,883 --> 00:14:49,243 {\an2}This is for you, Joel. 272 00:14:49,283 --> 00:14:51,843 {\an2}My Mary wore it on the day that I converted her. 273 00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,323 {\an2}I thought this was going to be 274 00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:55,523 {\an2}a kind of quiet, private thing. Yes, Joel, 275 00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:57,723 {\an2}but your conversion's a big deal for us. 276 00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:58,923 {\an2}Big deal for me. 277 00:15:05,683 --> 00:15:07,203 {\an2}Brothers and sisters... 278 00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:11,523 {\an2}It is an honour to announce 279 00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:14,083 {\an2}that we have a new convert, 280 00:15:14,123 --> 00:15:18,723 {\an2}a convert who is about to make an unbreakable commitment, 281 00:15:18,763 --> 00:15:22,043 {\an2}completely unbreakable! 282 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:24,323 {\an1}FOOTSTEPS RETREAT RAPIDLY 283 00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:28,723 {\an2}Joel? Joel? 284 00:15:28,763 --> 00:15:31,283 {\an2}Looks like your prized catch has slipped the net. 285 00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:34,003 {\an2}Such a loss. I'll sing a mourning song for you. 286 00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:38,483 {\an2}# Oh, Joel, where did you go? 287 00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:42,363 {\an2}# Where have you flown? 288 00:15:42,403 --> 00:15:43,883 {\an2}# Oh... # 289 00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:49,123 {\an2}Relax, Joel. You're safe. 290 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:52,843 {\an2}None of your weak furnishings are around. 291 00:15:52,883 --> 00:15:55,123 {\an2}Getting in the conversion zone? 292 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:58,243 {\an2}Er... I can't go through with it. 293 00:15:59,803 --> 00:16:01,003 {\an2}OK. 294 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,763 {\an2}Let me just check my mic's off. 295 00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:05,403 {\an1}FEEDBACK AS MIC SWITCHES ON 296 00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:06,843 {\an2}OVER TANNOY: Right. 297 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,163 {\an2}Privacy. 298 00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:09,763 {\an2}Let's talk man to man. 299 00:16:11,643 --> 00:16:13,763 {\an2}You guys all know what you believe. 300 00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:15,843 {\an2}I have... doubts. 301 00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:19,643 {\an2}I have doubts. 302 00:16:19,683 --> 00:16:21,363 {\an2}Of course I do. 303 00:16:21,403 --> 00:16:25,123 {\an2}We have to take so much on faith. I worry I've got it all wrong. 304 00:16:25,163 --> 00:16:27,163 {\an2}Abijah, kill this. Kill it now. 305 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,603 {\an2}You seem so sure. 306 00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:30,643 {\an2}I seem a lot of things - 307 00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:33,923 {\an2}skilled preacher, a master storyteller, 308 00:16:33,963 --> 00:16:36,603 {\an2}a humble, modest everyman. 309 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:39,843 {\an2}But the truth is, I feel lost sometimes, too. 310 00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:46,643 {\an2}These last few days have made it very clear how little I understand, 311 00:16:46,683 --> 00:16:49,603 {\an2}how I'm making mistakes all the time. 312 00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:52,603 {\an2}And yet I am the wisest, 313 00:16:52,643 --> 00:16:55,083 {\an2}for I know I know nothing. 314 00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:56,883 {\an2}That's a quote from Jesus. Socrates. 315 00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:58,163 {\an2}Well, there you go. 316 00:16:58,203 --> 00:17:00,643 {\an2}The world will always surprise you. 317 00:17:00,683 --> 00:17:02,963 {\an2}People will always surprise you. 318 00:17:04,963 --> 00:17:07,123 {\an2}I can't make this choice for you, Joel, 319 00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:10,603 {\an2}because you're the one that's going to have to live with it. 320 00:17:10,643 --> 00:17:12,603 {\an2}But I love my family. 321 00:17:12,643 --> 00:17:16,363 {\an2}And our faith brings us together. 322 00:17:20,203 --> 00:17:28,003 {\an2}# Well, me and Jesus got our own thing going... # 323 00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:35,123 {\an2}I'm ready. Yeah. 324 00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:37,803 {\an2}I was worried that you guys were too intense, 325 00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:40,363 {\an2}but I feel better now. Good. 326 00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:42,643 {\an2}Come and be reborn, Mary. 327 00:17:42,683 --> 00:17:44,163 {\an2}What? 328 00:17:44,203 --> 00:17:46,283 {\an2}Why is everyone applauding? 329 00:17:46,323 --> 00:17:48,723 {\an2}Is it the bow tie? 330 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,203 {\an2}Yeah, Dad. Yeah. 331 00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:54,403 {\an2}ABIJAH MUTTERS: Fucking idiot. 332 00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:56,523 {\an2}Well done, well done. Thank you. 333 00:17:56,563 --> 00:17:58,843 {\an2}That was amazing! 334 00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:04,843 {\an2}David... maybe I was too quick to judge. 335 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:07,563 {\an2}Perhaps you could be an elder after all. 336 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,883 {\an2}Aaron - finishing touches. 337 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,963 {\an2}We could make use of your deft linework. 338 00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:15,443 {\an2}Who is this? Gary from Ancoats. 339 00:18:15,483 --> 00:18:18,283 {\an2}His dad said I can go round his house sometime. 340 00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:22,003 {\an2}Can I, Dad? You let your son fraternise with them? 341 00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:26,643 {\an2}Of course you can, Aaron. Have fun. Come on, let's go! 342 00:18:26,683 --> 00:18:29,443 {\an2}An elder wouldn't sanction that kind of behaviour, David. 343 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:33,123 {\an2}Good thing I'm not an elder, then. 344 00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:38,683 {\an2}We need to talk. Hmm. 345 00:18:40,003 --> 00:18:41,563 {\an2}Yeah, Mum, I did it. 346 00:18:41,603 --> 00:18:44,643 {\an2}It really feels like a... A fresh start. 347 00:18:47,603 --> 00:18:49,123 {\an2}Oh. Hang on, Mum. 348 00:18:51,123 --> 00:18:52,643 {\an2}Susie. 349 00:18:52,683 --> 00:18:54,803 {\an2}You missed my confirmation. 350 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,003 {\an2}I've never seen you in a suit. 351 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:58,243 {\an2}You look good. 352 00:18:58,283 --> 00:18:59,723 {\an2}Well, thanks. 353 00:19:00,803 --> 00:19:04,203 {\an2}I'm on a new path now, a purer path. 354 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,603 {\an2}Do you want to fuck me in my Ford Focus? 355 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,243 {\an2}Wait, are you serious? 356 00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:13,363 {\an2}Oh. 357 00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:16,923 {\an2}Hey. 358 00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:19,563 {\an2}What are you doing here? 359 00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:21,043 {\an2}Please don't be angry with me. 360 00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,083 {\an2}Don't be angry? 361 00:19:22,123 --> 00:19:23,443 {\an2}This is so dangerous. 362 00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:24,923 {\an2}If anyone finds out... 363 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,203 {\an2}Rachel, bit of a tricky sitch. 364 00:19:27,243 --> 00:19:31,083 {\an2}Joshua's dad... Sorry, Elder Samson wants a chat. 365 00:19:31,123 --> 00:19:32,843 {\an2}Wait, Joshua's dad? 366 00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:34,003 {\an1}ABIJAH LAUGHS 367 00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:36,403 {\an2}Wow! You're way behind. 368 00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:47,523 {\an2}Sister Lewis. 369 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,243 {\an2}I spoke to your mother. 370 00:19:57,443 --> 00:20:01,843 {\an2}She wants to appeal your university application so you can go. 371 00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:08,883 {\an2}Now, if you were a model ordinand, I might allow it. 372 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,083 {\an2}But you're not. Are you? 373 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:16,923 {\an2}Joshua gave you up. 374 00:20:19,683 --> 00:20:21,323 {\an2}Whatever was going on between you two 375 00:20:21,363 --> 00:20:23,443 {\an2}clearly didn't matter much to him. 376 00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:29,683 {\an2}So, here are your options. 377 00:20:32,723 --> 00:20:35,443 {\an2}Remain in the order on penance, 378 00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:39,043 {\an2}revoked privileges, monitored preaching hours. 379 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:45,563 {\an2}Or pursue university and be excluded. 380 00:20:45,603 --> 00:20:48,283 {\an2}And if your family even tries to speak to you again, 381 00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:50,243 {\an2}I'll have them excluded too. 382 00:20:53,363 --> 00:20:54,363 {\an2}Your choice. 383 00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:16,443 {\an1}CHOIR SING 384 00:21:17,883 --> 00:21:20,083 {\an2}David, are we good parents? 385 00:21:20,123 --> 00:21:23,843 {\an2}Proverbs says whoever spares the rod loves his children. 386 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,363 {\an2}Isn't it whoever spares the rod hates his children? 387 00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:27,443 {\an2}I gave it a David twist. 388 00:21:31,603 --> 00:21:34,483 {\an2}# Why can't we be humble 389 00:21:34,523 --> 00:21:37,003 {\an2}# Like the good Lord said? 390 00:21:38,523 --> 00:21:41,203 {\an2}# He promised to exalt us... # 391 00:21:43,483 --> 00:21:47,643 {\an2}Rachel, I've realised you need to make your own decisions. 392 00:21:49,123 --> 00:21:54,723 {\an2}The application's right here, all you need to do is press send. 393 00:21:54,763 --> 00:21:58,123 {\an2}# That's the way God planned it 394 00:21:58,163 --> 00:22:02,083 {\an2}# That's the way God wants it to be... # 395 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,283 {\an2}It's OK, Mum. 396 00:22:08,923 --> 00:22:10,683 {\an2}I'm going to stick around. 397 00:22:10,723 --> 00:22:11,963 {\an2}# That's the way God planned it 398 00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:15,923 {\an2}# That's the way God wants it to be 399 00:22:15,963 --> 00:22:19,043 {\an2}# For you and me 400 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:20,883 {\an2}# Oh, that's the way... # 401 00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:23,963 {\an2}Can I have one? 402 00:22:34,803 --> 00:22:36,483 {\an2}Tough day? 403 00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:38,923 {\an1}CAR RATTLES 404 00:22:38,963 --> 00:22:40,123 {\an1}GASPING AND MOANING 405 00:22:40,163 --> 00:22:42,403 {\an2}God forgive me... 406 00:23:20,443 --> 00:23:24,003 {\an2}# That's the way God planned it 407 00:23:24,043 --> 00:23:27,363 {\an2}# That's the way God wants it to be 408 00:23:28,403 --> 00:23:32,443 {\an2}# Oh, and that's the way 409 00:23:32,483 --> 00:23:37,323 {\an2}# That's the way God planned it 410 00:23:37,363 --> 00:23:42,403 {\an2}# That's the way God wants it to be 411 00:23:42,443 --> 00:23:43,443 {\an2}# For you and me 412 00:23:43,483 --> 00:23:46,363 {\an2}# Oh, and that's the way... # 413 00:23:46,403 --> 00:23:47,963 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media