1 00:00:03,323 --> 00:00:05,883 {\an2}I'm so pleased we started making our dates biweekly. 2 00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,043 {\an2}They're so blissful I just lose track of time. 3 00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:09,803 {\an2}We finish in 15 minutes. 4 00:00:11,003 --> 00:00:12,883 {\an2}This is just perfect. 5 00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:14,883 {\an2}There's nothing I'd change about you, 6 00:00:14,923 --> 00:00:17,243 {\an2}or our relationship, or me. 7 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:20,243 {\an2}No? You wouldn't change yourself to be more empathetic 8 00:00:20,283 --> 00:00:22,923 {\an2}or self-aware or a better listener? 9 00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:27,043 {\an2}Sorry, darling, I didn't catch any of that. 10 00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:29,723 {\an2}Couple's photo? 11 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,803 {\an2}This is my trusty point and shoot. 12 00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:34,523 {\an2}I videoed the Bush vs Gore debates on this thing. 13 00:00:34,563 --> 00:00:36,523 {\an2}What, were you just filming the TV screen? 14 00:00:36,563 --> 00:00:38,763 {\an2}Yep. 15 00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:40,163 {\an2}Smile! 16 00:00:43,963 --> 00:00:45,603 {\an2}THROUGH SMILE: How long's the timer? 17 00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:48,563 {\an2}Oh, it's recording, my love. Capturing every moment. 18 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:53,803 {\an1}CHORAL SINGING 19 00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:10,363 {\an2}TANNOY: Remember, God is always watching. Not in a creepy way. 20 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,883 {\an2}Can we talk here? Are they listening? 21 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:15,483 {\an2}That just lets you hear the sermon while you're shitting. 22 00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:16,923 {\an2}It's a good system. 23 00:01:16,963 --> 00:01:19,243 {\an2}I've had my most prayerful experiences in that cubicle. 24 00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:20,843 {\an2}It doesn't feel secure. 25 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,203 {\an2}So, fill me in on your night of passion. 26 00:01:25,243 --> 00:01:27,403 {\an2}He, um...made me a birthday cake. 27 00:01:29,283 --> 00:01:30,603 {\an2}OK. 28 00:01:30,643 --> 00:01:32,763 {\an2}Did he burst out of it? 29 00:01:32,803 --> 00:01:34,923 {\an2}Eat it off you? Were you the plate? 30 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:36,683 {\an2}No, we just... 31 00:01:36,723 --> 00:01:38,603 {\an2}..had it together. 32 00:01:38,643 --> 00:01:39,963 {\an2}Wow. 33 00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:43,403 {\an2}That is incredible gossip. Do you mind if I smoke? 34 00:01:43,443 --> 00:01:45,523 {\an2}I get cravings when I'm bored. 35 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,563 {\an2}It... It was sweet. 36 00:01:47,603 --> 00:01:48,803 {\an2}You're disappointed. 37 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,323 {\an2}No... I thought you were a pleasureless chastity droid, 38 00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:54,003 {\an2}but you're just a bag of ugly chemicals like everyone else. 39 00:01:54,043 --> 00:01:57,083 {\an2}This is your fault. You made me believe he was going to kiss me, 40 00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:59,083 {\an2}and instead... 41 00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:00,523 {\an2}..he just said we were friends. 42 00:02:00,563 --> 00:02:02,923 {\an2}He probably only said that cos you're so buttoned up. 43 00:02:02,963 --> 00:02:07,043 {\an2}If I were to free associate a Rachel word cloud, it'd be stuff like 44 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:10,323 {\an2}petrified, puritan, sexually repressed, 45 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,203 {\an2}sexless, no sex. Yeah, OK. 46 00:02:12,243 --> 00:02:16,163 {\an2}Look, you're a woman with a human right to pursue love, liberty, 47 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,403 {\an2}and dick, or at least hands stuff. 48 00:02:18,443 --> 00:02:21,803 {\an2}If you're so worried about it, you could just ask him out. 49 00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:25,443 {\an2}Shit. I've blown your actual mind. 50 00:02:25,483 --> 00:02:27,883 {\an2}Just don't get caught and exiled from your whole family. 51 00:02:27,923 --> 00:02:30,483 {\an2}The thought that this could ruin my entire future 52 00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,523 {\an2}makes this a lot less exciting. 53 00:02:32,563 --> 00:02:33,923 {\an2}You and me are really different. 54 00:02:35,163 --> 00:02:37,243 {\an2}Oh, my goodness. 55 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,123 {\an2}Andrew looks... Oh, the Lewises! 56 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:40,883 {\an2}Totally ridiculous. I know. 57 00:02:40,923 --> 00:02:42,923 {\an2}Forgive the Lycra. It's the official colours 58 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,483 {\an2}of the '96 British rowing team. 59 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:46,523 {\an2}DAVID SCOFFS I've heard it all now. 60 00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:48,603 {\an2}So you're a wannabe? An aquatic wannabe? 61 00:02:48,643 --> 00:02:52,043 {\an2}Quite right, David. I was selected but didn't compete. 62 00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:54,803 {\an2}Selected? What, at county level? 63 00:02:54,843 --> 00:02:56,843 {\an2}County, national, and Olympic. HE CHUCKLES 64 00:02:58,723 --> 00:03:01,403 {\an2}Ah, I see you're admiring Mary's tree. Who's Mary? 65 00:03:01,443 --> 00:03:02,723 {\an2}Andrew's wife, David. 66 00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:04,123 {\an2}Right. Andrew's dead wife. 67 00:03:04,163 --> 00:03:06,283 {\an2}She's from a fragile Japanese seed stock. 68 00:03:06,323 --> 00:03:07,723 {\an2}Ordinary soil could kill her. 69 00:03:07,763 --> 00:03:11,243 {\an2}But now I've boxed her in an enriched loam, she is thriving. 70 00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:14,603 {\an2}Excessively thriving. That tree has grown into my airspace. 71 00:03:14,643 --> 00:03:16,243 {\an2}It needs pruning. David... 72 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:20,203 {\an2}Mary was so full of life, it's no wonder she's sprouting so strongly. 73 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,763 {\an2}I suppose I could cut it back a tiny... 74 00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:25,083 {\an2}Size her down or I will. I don't care whose soul is inside. 75 00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:28,763 {\an2}Right. 76 00:03:30,803 --> 00:03:34,203 {\an2}You're ten minutes late, Rachel. Yours is cold on the table. 77 00:03:34,243 --> 00:03:36,323 {\an2}If I'd kept it warm in the oven, you'd never learn. 78 00:03:36,363 --> 00:03:39,803 {\an2}Sister Angeli and I were reading Psalms and... 79 00:03:39,843 --> 00:03:41,643 {\an2}..got lost in the poetry of the language. 80 00:03:41,683 --> 00:03:43,163 {\an2}It can happen. 81 00:03:44,643 --> 00:03:47,123 {\an2}Aaron, didn't we say you'd stop drawing people being purged? 82 00:03:47,163 --> 00:03:49,923 {\an2}We said no family. These are other kids. 83 00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:54,283 {\an2}Huh, weird. 84 00:03:54,323 --> 00:03:57,403 {\an2}They look uncannily like boys from your school. 85 00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,003 {\an2}Rob and Tom, yeah. 86 00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:03,443 {\an2}Look closely. You can see Tom's screen reflected back in Rob's eye. 87 00:04:05,163 --> 00:04:06,563 {\an2}Oh. 88 00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:09,123 {\an2}Maybe you should take a break from drawing, Aaron. 89 00:04:09,163 --> 00:04:10,843 {\an2}Art is about feelings, Dad. 90 00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:12,843 {\an2}If I don't draw, I'll bottle them all up. 91 00:04:12,883 --> 00:04:14,963 {\an2}Yes, good. Bottle them up. 92 00:04:16,443 --> 00:04:17,763 {\an2}Can I ask a question? 93 00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:20,243 {\an2}Please, let's talk about a less weighty topic. 94 00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:22,883 {\an2}If I was excluded, would you shun me? 95 00:04:24,923 --> 00:04:26,763 {\an1}GULPS 96 00:04:26,803 --> 00:04:28,803 {\an2}Could you do that to your own daughter? 97 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,283 {\an2}David, a word. 98 00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:33,883 {\an2}Do you not have an answer? 99 00:04:33,923 --> 00:04:37,603 {\an2}We do. I just want to make sure your father knows what it is. 100 00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,843 {\an2}David, this feels like an important parenting moment. 101 00:04:39,883 --> 00:04:43,403 {\an2}Mm. Like when she asked why a loving God would create nits. 102 00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:45,203 {\an2}Would we really be able to cut her off? 103 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,123 {\an2}Simple. We say we would shun her, 104 00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:49,763 {\an2}then she'll never step out of line and we won't ever have to. 105 00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:51,683 {\an2}Oh, that's smart, Fiona. 106 00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,883 {\an2}OK, let's let her know in a sensitive way. 107 00:04:53,923 --> 00:04:56,203 {\an2}Rachel, to answer your question, of course we'd shun you. 108 00:04:56,243 --> 00:04:57,963 {\an2}We'd shun you every day of the week. 109 00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:02,243 {\an2}ANDREW: And thanks for bearing with me. 110 00:05:02,283 --> 00:05:04,323 {\an2}This is the first meeting I've ever chaired. 111 00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:05,963 {\an2}Yes, it showed. 112 00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:08,323 {\an2}What was that, David? Please do share. 113 00:05:08,363 --> 00:05:11,923 {\an2}I said Andrew's inexperience as a novice really showed. 114 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,603 {\an2}Now, there's a reason we've been discussing adultery today. 115 00:05:14,643 --> 00:05:17,243 {\an2}Unfortunately, Sister Levi has had an annulment. 116 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,323 {\an2}WOMAN SOBS Oh, dear. 117 00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,083 {\an2}FYI, an annulment is not divorce. 118 00:05:21,123 --> 00:05:23,363 {\an2}The chapter's divorce rate remains at zero. 119 00:05:23,403 --> 00:05:24,963 {\an2}And your annulment rate? 120 00:05:25,003 --> 00:05:26,203 {\an2}That's classified. 121 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,403 {\an2}Elder Samson likes to keep a tight lid on information. 122 00:05:28,443 --> 00:05:31,083 {\an2}It took me a whole year just to learn his real first name. Abijah... 123 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,043 {\an2}The mysterious Bartholomew Samson... 124 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,443 {\an2}Abijah! 125 00:05:34,483 --> 00:05:38,483 {\an2}Annulment means the union never took place. 126 00:05:38,523 --> 00:05:40,603 {\an2}Sister Levi was never married, 127 00:05:40,643 --> 00:05:43,883 {\an2}and that man and his boyfriend were never in the Order. 128 00:05:43,923 --> 00:05:46,403 {\an2}SISTER LEVI SOBS Hey, it's not your fault 129 00:05:46,443 --> 00:05:49,163 {\an2}he wanted to be one flesh with his personal trainer. 130 00:05:49,203 --> 00:05:50,883 {\an2}Garden of Gethsemane! 131 00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,803 {\an2}Please be sensitive, David. 132 00:05:52,843 --> 00:05:54,923 {\an2}Gone are the days of overtly homophobic 133 00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,883 {\an2}Order pamphlets preaching damnation. 134 00:05:56,923 --> 00:06:00,163 {\an2}So you're OK with LGBTQ+ people? 135 00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:02,243 {\an2}Totally. Yes. No. 136 00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:03,443 {\an2}We're not OK with them. 137 00:06:03,483 --> 00:06:06,243 {\an2}Well, he says that, but he's liberalising. Yesterday, he had 138 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:09,003 {\an2}some rainbow Skittles. He wouldn't have done that two years ago. 139 00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:13,483 {\an2}Let's use this as a reminder to listen to each other. 140 00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:16,403 {\an2}I don't need a reminder to listen to my wife, Andrew. 141 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,323 {\an2}David, could you lower your voice, please? Sweetie, David's talking. 142 00:06:19,363 --> 00:06:24,163 {\an2}Communication can prevent problems such as adulterous images. 143 00:06:24,203 --> 00:06:26,723 {\an2}I should never have got him that subscription to Men's Health. 144 00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:29,523 {\an2}DAVID SCOFFS It's not cheating to look at an image. 145 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:33,163 {\an2}Adultery is if you hold hands or kiss lips, right, Samson? 146 00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:37,003 {\an2}No. Desiring an image is adultery. 147 00:06:37,043 --> 00:06:39,043 {\an2}Oh. MUFFLED CHATTER 148 00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:45,723 {\an2}Right, well, we'll leave David to ponder whatever is he's done. 149 00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:47,363 {\an2}Let's wrap up. 150 00:06:47,403 --> 00:06:49,363 {\an2}So if she never married, 151 00:06:49,403 --> 00:06:51,843 {\an2}are her kids the result of extramarital sex? 152 00:06:51,883 --> 00:06:54,323 {\an2}We're wrapping up. 153 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:56,363 {\an1}SISTER LEVI SOBS 154 00:06:57,523 --> 00:07:00,003 {\an2}Lemon squash, please. Make it a stiff one. 155 00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,803 {\an2}I've got a lot on my mind. 156 00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:04,243 {\an2}Sister, can I trust you with a personal secret? 157 00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:06,243 {\an2}Yes, of course. Yeah. 158 00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:10,283 {\an2}You see, the Elders have been asking when I plan to remarry. 159 00:07:10,323 --> 00:07:11,643 {\an2}How do you feel about that? 160 00:07:11,683 --> 00:07:15,323 {\an2}I still miss Mary a lot. I sometimes haul my rowing machine outside 161 00:07:15,363 --> 00:07:17,843 {\an2}just to exercise by her memorial tree. 162 00:07:17,883 --> 00:07:22,843 {\an2}As the wind hits the branches, I can almost hear her critiquing my form. 163 00:07:22,883 --> 00:07:25,363 {\an2}"Glutes and thighs, Andrew. 164 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,683 {\an2}"Glutes and thighs." 165 00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:28,963 {\an2}I've been wearing her wedding ring on this chain 166 00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:31,003 {\an2}for the last five years. 167 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:32,323 {\an2}I think it may be time. 168 00:07:32,363 --> 00:07:36,523 {\an2}Could I perhaps entrust you to keep it safe for me temporarily? 169 00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:39,723 {\an2}It's just a discreet favour. It's not a big deal. 170 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,083 {\an2}Not a big deal. Oh. 171 00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:42,483 {\an2}Oh. 172 00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:45,643 {\an1}QUIET GASPS 173 00:07:48,123 --> 00:07:49,843 {\an2}Yeah. Sorry. 174 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:51,963 {\an2}Just, um, our little secret. SHE CLEARS THROAT 175 00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:53,243 {\an2}Yeah. 176 00:07:54,283 --> 00:07:58,563 {\an2}Nice and cloudy. 4:1 - that's the David ratio. 177 00:08:00,163 --> 00:08:03,003 {\an2}Now, remember, kids, this is watercolour. 178 00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,523 {\an2}Really wet that canvas. 179 00:08:05,563 --> 00:08:08,323 {\an2}Run it under a tap if you have to. 180 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,443 {\an2}Respectfully, Miss Simmonds, are you qualified to teach Art? 181 00:08:11,483 --> 00:08:12,763 {\an2}Of course not, Aaron. 182 00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:16,163 {\an2}I'm not qualified to teach Maths or History either, but here we are. 183 00:08:18,003 --> 00:08:19,763 {\an2}Oh, wow. 184 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,963 {\an2}This is... Jesus and John the Baptist. 185 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:23,523 {\an2}My parents asked for less violence, 186 00:08:23,563 --> 00:08:27,403 {\an2}so I drew them enjoying the rejuvenating waters of the Jordan. 187 00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:30,003 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah, they're really enjoying them. 188 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,643 {\an2}This is really impressive, Aaron, 189 00:08:31,683 --> 00:08:34,603 {\an2}and I'm proud of you for being so brave. 190 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,043 {\an2}I just want to let you decide 191 00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:40,803 {\an2}whether or not we display it to the class, 192 00:08:40,843 --> 00:08:43,083 {\an2}just cos kids can be so cruel. 193 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,323 {\an2}I've already put my test sketches up over there. 194 00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:47,643 {\an1}LAUGHTER 195 00:08:47,683 --> 00:08:50,963 {\an2}So the whole class has already seen it. 196 00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:52,483 {\an2}Great. 197 00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:05,003 {\an2}JOSH: Hey, what's up? 198 00:09:06,523 --> 00:09:08,163 {\an2}I was hoping to have a chill one today, 199 00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:10,563 {\an2}but apparently I'm about to be served a court document... 200 00:09:10,603 --> 00:09:12,603 {\an2}Josh, we need to talk. 201 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,443 {\an2}I like you, but the rules say what we're doing is wrong, 202 00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:19,923 {\an2}and my parents will shun me if I don't follow those rules. 203 00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:22,683 {\an2}Right. But maybe if they'd shun me, that means they don't really care 204 00:09:22,723 --> 00:09:24,843 {\an2}about me and I should make my own choices. Uh-huh... 205 00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:27,963 {\an2}But the rules are there to protect us from moral hazards, so... Right. 206 00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:29,483 {\an2}I need to think more. 207 00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:32,643 {\an2}We were just going to watch a film. 208 00:09:35,523 --> 00:09:37,483 {\an2}That was really weird. 209 00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:40,323 {\an2}MELISSA: Got down on one knee? Wow. 210 00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:42,483 {\an2}For you, that's like getting a full dick pic. 211 00:09:42,523 --> 00:09:43,963 {\an2}Oh, sh! There's nothing between us. 212 00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:46,523 {\an2}I'm very happy with my husband, Andrew. 213 00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:49,363 {\an2}That was a mistake. Obviously, I meant to say Andrew. 214 00:09:49,403 --> 00:09:51,443 {\an2}Oh, relax, Fiona. I know it's not easy 215 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:54,123 {\an2}being married to a mushroom-headed clot. 216 00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:56,363 {\an2}Speak of the mushroom and it will appear. 217 00:09:56,403 --> 00:09:59,203 {\an2}You unleash your womanhood. I'm off to get a spray tan. 218 00:09:59,243 --> 00:10:01,803 {\an2}Next time you see me, I'll be the colour of an Oompa Loompa, 219 00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:04,323 {\an2}the problematic ones from the '70s. 220 00:10:07,443 --> 00:10:09,763 {\an2}Um, David, we need to talk. 221 00:10:09,803 --> 00:10:11,763 {\an2}Believe me, Fiona, I know. 222 00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,723 {\an2}I have something to confess. 223 00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:16,603 {\an2}OK. Well, can we speak about my things first? 224 00:10:16,643 --> 00:10:19,003 {\an2}A dark, disturbing confession. 225 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:23,403 {\an2}Yesterday's session made me realise... 226 00:10:23,443 --> 00:10:24,763 {\an2}..I've not been faithful. 227 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:28,963 {\an2}This is my Tupperware of sin. 228 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,883 {\an2}Pop the lid off, and if you can still bear to look at me, 229 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,363 {\an2}let's talk. 230 00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:52,643 {\an2}Well, you're still here. 231 00:10:54,243 --> 00:10:56,763 {\an2}That's something. David, what the hell am I looking at? 232 00:10:56,803 --> 00:10:58,803 {\an2}I'll excuse the blasphemy. I know I've hurt you. 233 00:10:58,843 --> 00:11:00,763 {\an2}I've got no idea what this is. 234 00:11:00,803 --> 00:11:04,323 {\an2}The buxom woman in the sun bonnet holding the grape-laden tray? 235 00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:08,003 {\an2}I fantasised about us...together. 236 00:11:09,763 --> 00:11:10,883 {\an2}You mean... 237 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:14,363 {\an2}I imagined us lying in bed while she... 238 00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:18,363 {\an2}..stroked my hair and told me about the drying process, 239 00:11:18,403 --> 00:11:20,243 {\an2}how grapes become raisins. 240 00:11:21,923 --> 00:11:24,243 {\an2}But the rabbit hole goes still deeper. 241 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:34,083 {\an2}This is from a perfume ad. I couldn't even tell you her name. 242 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,923 {\an2}David, this barely even sounds sexual. 243 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,883 {\an2}I've broken our marriage vows! No, you haven't. 244 00:11:37,923 --> 00:11:40,083 {\an2}Promise me you won't make a big deal out of this. 245 00:11:40,123 --> 00:11:42,203 {\an2}I've called a crisis meeting with the Elders. 246 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,923 {\an2}I know it might seem... Humiliating? 247 00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,523 {\an2}Yes. Mm-hm. 248 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:49,883 {\an2}But to find happiness, we must cleave to the rules. 249 00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:04,803 {\an1}THEY CHATTER 250 00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:06,843 {\an1}JEERING AND LAUGHTER 251 00:12:11,483 --> 00:12:13,483 {\an1}BOYS LAUGH 252 00:12:16,043 --> 00:12:18,283 {\an1}THEY JEER AND LAUGH 253 00:12:18,323 --> 00:12:19,683 {\an2}Loser! 254 00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:32,563 {\an2}So, this is it - judgment for the worst thing I've ever done. 255 00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,163 {\an2}I'm sorry there's so few of us. 256 00:12:34,203 --> 00:12:37,283 {\an2}It's difficult to get a full quorum for such a minor infraction. 257 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,203 {\an2}I'm human trash. I'd like to make it clear 258 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,923 {\an2}I don't think this is necessary. She's being polite. 259 00:12:41,963 --> 00:12:43,883 {\an2}I know she's deeply offended by what I did. 260 00:12:43,923 --> 00:12:45,883 {\an2}No, I'm not. She's distraught! 261 00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:47,243 {\an2}You do seem distraught, Fiona. 262 00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:49,803 {\an2}Yes, I'm distraught this is happening. Please make it stop. 263 00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:51,403 {\an2}Request has been made. 264 00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:53,803 {\an2}The meeting must be held. Well, can we keep it very quick? 265 00:12:53,843 --> 00:12:56,483 {\an2}I do not want our neighbour Andrew finding out about this. 266 00:12:56,523 --> 00:12:58,883 {\an2}Morning! Andrew's actually leading the meeting. 267 00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:00,123 {\an2}Oh! 268 00:13:00,163 --> 00:13:04,803 {\an2}So, David sent the church this box. I'm told it contains pornography. 269 00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:06,323 {\an2}That's correct. 270 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:17,443 {\an2}Is the porn hidden under the raisin packets? 271 00:13:17,483 --> 00:13:20,483 {\an2}Don't you see? I coveted the women in these pictures. 272 00:13:20,523 --> 00:13:24,483 {\an2}But you never made use of online pornographic resources? 273 00:13:24,523 --> 00:13:26,803 {\an2}Excuse me? Pornhub? YouPorn? 274 00:13:26,843 --> 00:13:29,683 {\an2}As a teenager, I succumbed to these temptations. 275 00:13:29,723 --> 00:13:33,203 {\an2}I can admit that here among friends. What are you writing there, Elder? 276 00:13:33,243 --> 00:13:35,363 {\an2}I'm extending your probation by six months. 277 00:13:35,403 --> 00:13:37,923 {\an2}But I was just... Would you prefer nine? 278 00:13:37,963 --> 00:13:40,443 {\an2}Are you saying this doesn't constitute adultery? 279 00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,843 {\an2}They're not naked, David. I can say with confidence 280 00:13:42,883 --> 00:13:45,723 {\an2}that David has never seen any woman other than me naked. 281 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:47,363 {\an2}And even then, not for some time. 282 00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:49,723 {\an2}She might as well be naked with that coquettish smile. 283 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,563 {\an1}PHONE VIBRATES 284 00:13:51,603 --> 00:13:54,163 {\an2}Fiona, I don't think you should really take that... Hello? 285 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:56,363 {\an2}I don't think this warrants further action, David. 286 00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:00,363 {\an2}You haven't even accessed online pornography. And by the sounds of it, you wouldn't even know how. 287 00:14:00,403 --> 00:14:04,483 {\an2}Aaron's in trouble at school. Well, it seems I am to conduct 288 00:14:04,523 --> 00:14:06,883 {\an2}my own penance. I'm sorry that from your high towers 289 00:14:06,923 --> 00:14:09,563 {\an2}you can't see how truly depraved I am. 290 00:14:09,603 --> 00:14:11,763 {\an2}This will remain private, right? 291 00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:15,843 {\an2}You can make the minutes public record. I won't hide my shame. 292 00:14:18,563 --> 00:14:22,763 {\an2}Would you like a hug, Fiona? Yes, please. 293 00:14:26,403 --> 00:14:30,363 {\an2}What kind of school is this? You've got kids ganging up on my son. 294 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,723 {\an2}You're teaching there were dinosaurs. 295 00:14:32,763 --> 00:14:34,563 {\an2}You're not on board with dinosaurs? 296 00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:36,803 {\an2}Pretty sure if there was such a thing as a triceratops, 297 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,283 {\an2}it would have come up in Genesis. Let me reassure you, David, 298 00:14:39,323 --> 00:14:42,163 {\an2}The boys who did this to Aaron will, of course, be suspended. 299 00:14:42,203 --> 00:14:44,963 {\an2}And the dinosaurs? The boys will be suspended. Good. 300 00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:46,563 {\an2}Make it like they never existed. 301 00:14:46,603 --> 00:14:49,243 {\an2}Just like your so called Archaeopteryx. 302 00:14:49,283 --> 00:14:52,963 {\an2}I believe they were bullying Aaron because of a picture he drew. 303 00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:56,323 {\an2}Oh, he probably sketched them being disembowelled or something. 304 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,003 {\an2}I knew this was going to cause... 305 00:15:00,323 --> 00:15:03,403 {\an2}Hm. Apparently, they're his Bible heroes. 306 00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,683 {\an2}Impressively detailed. Yes. 307 00:15:06,923 --> 00:15:09,483 {\an2}So many details. 308 00:15:09,523 --> 00:15:13,163 {\an2}Obviously, young kids can be very intolerant. Intolerant? 309 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,083 {\an2}What are you implying? 310 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:20,803 {\an2}Do I need to imply? 311 00:15:20,843 --> 00:15:24,803 {\an2}I'm...going to take my son home now. 312 00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:26,763 {\an2}Aaron! 313 00:15:26,803 --> 00:15:29,883 {\an2}And I'm taking the drawing. To hang it up? 314 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:32,243 {\an2}To unpack its meaning. 315 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:55,243 {\an2}What have you got there, Dad? A raisin packet. 316 00:15:55,283 --> 00:16:00,363 {\an2}Which I'm enjoying for the fruit it contains. For the right reasons. 317 00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:01,843 {\an2}It's been a long day. 318 00:16:01,883 --> 00:16:06,163 {\an2}The powers that be refused to accept that I cheated on your mother. 319 00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:09,803 {\an2}Right. When you find someone you love, you have to fight for them. 320 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,203 {\an2}Let no obstacle stand in your way. 321 00:16:12,243 --> 00:16:16,643 {\an2}Even if you do hear the siren call of a certain...cardboard maiden. 322 00:16:16,683 --> 00:16:18,123 {\an2}Oh. 323 00:16:19,163 --> 00:16:21,483 {\an2}Thanks, Dad. 324 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,643 {\an2}For the advice. 325 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:27,803 {\an2}Heading out? See you in a couple of weeks. 326 00:16:27,843 --> 00:16:29,643 {\an2}What? 327 00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:31,883 {\an2}I've got a whole plan, Rachel. 328 00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:38,683 {\an2}Ah! 329 00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:40,803 {\an2}Ah! 330 00:16:40,843 --> 00:16:42,483 {\an2}Fiona. 331 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:46,043 {\an2}I know I've wronged you, but I have the solution. 332 00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:52,483 {\an2}You're going to finally listen to what I have to say. 333 00:16:52,523 --> 00:16:54,883 {\an2}I'm going on penance to my uncle's holiday home. 334 00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:58,403 {\an2}What? That dilapidated trailer isn't a holiday home, David. 335 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:01,683 {\an2}The water supply is contaminated by agricultural runoff. 336 00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:04,883 {\an2}It'll just be me, the plywood walls and my sins. 337 00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:08,243 {\an2}And Aaron. I'm taking Aaron with me. OK. 338 00:17:08,283 --> 00:17:11,123 {\an2}There's a deeper issue here. 339 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,563 {\an2}A long-term issue. Long-term, yes. 340 00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:15,563 {\an2}I've been amassing that Tupperware for years. 341 00:17:15,603 --> 00:17:19,763 {\an2}You're just not listening to me! I will be heard! I WILL BE! 342 00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:24,323 {\an2}What is that?! 343 00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:27,563 {\an2}Oh, yes. For you. 4K. 344 00:17:27,603 --> 00:17:29,563 {\an2}If the man in the store is to be believed, 345 00:17:29,603 --> 00:17:32,803 {\an2}Mary's visions of Gabriel didn't look this good. 346 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,283 {\an2}But if you wanted to talk more... Do what you need to do. Thank you. 347 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,763 {\an2}That's very mature. 348 00:17:42,443 --> 00:17:44,043 {\an2}My son and heir. 349 00:17:49,483 --> 00:17:54,003 {\an2}Are you concerned about what I drew? No, Aaron. 350 00:17:55,123 --> 00:17:57,323 {\an2}No, I'm concerned that you're unhappy, 351 00:17:57,363 --> 00:18:01,003 {\an2}that I haven't been there for you. I want to rectify that. 352 00:18:01,043 --> 00:18:03,603 {\an2}So, here's the plan. 353 00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:06,003 {\an2}We go away to an isolated trailer. 354 00:18:07,363 --> 00:18:09,523 {\an2}That's it? That's it, Aaron. 355 00:18:09,563 --> 00:18:11,763 {\an2}The Stairway to Heaven is real. 356 00:18:11,803 --> 00:18:13,963 {\an2}And her name is the M64. 357 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,123 {\an2}Hey. You came back. 358 00:18:26,163 --> 00:18:29,723 {\an2}That would have been one of the weirdest farewells of all time. 359 00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:31,763 {\an2}Felt like you were trying to break-up with me. 360 00:18:31,803 --> 00:18:34,523 {\an2}Well, that's not technically possible. 361 00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:37,123 {\an2}Seeing as we're not exactly... 362 00:18:38,963 --> 00:18:40,763 {\an2}I don't get it. 363 00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:45,483 {\an2}If he just told her about his ex, none of this would be happening. 364 00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:48,203 {\an2}You haven't learned romcom shorthand yet. 365 00:18:48,243 --> 00:18:51,603 {\an2}Soon the plot holes will wash over you like soothing rain. 366 00:18:51,643 --> 00:18:54,883 {\an2}He's going to start kissing her in ten seconds. 367 00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:56,763 {\an2}Don't think so, Josh. 368 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,723 {\an2}There's a storm 369 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,643 {\an2}and she's yelling at him, 370 00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:03,043 {\an2}and now she's pushing him. And... 371 00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:07,083 {\an2}OK. You win. 372 00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:10,843 {\an1}MOANING ON TV 373 00:19:17,843 --> 00:19:20,803 {\an2}WOMAN ON TV: Please don't go back to Delaware. 374 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,563 {\an2}Josh, um... 375 00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,803 {\an2}I don't think we should kiss unless we're going out. 376 00:19:33,883 --> 00:19:35,083 {\an2}OK. 377 00:19:39,643 --> 00:19:42,163 {\an2}Do you want to go out? 378 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,803 {\an2}OK, do you wanna pick some music? Have you got Worship Songs Volume 3? 379 00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:10,843 {\an2}Erm...got Volume 4. 380 00:20:10,883 --> 00:20:12,643 {\an2}Volume 4's trash. 381 00:20:12,683 --> 00:20:15,763 {\an2}There's this tape left by the previous owners, but those people 382 00:20:15,803 --> 00:20:18,963 {\an2}hung novelty dice from the mirror. They were gamblers. 383 00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:20,643 {\an2}Big fluffy gamblers. 384 00:20:20,683 --> 00:20:22,643 {\an2}Let's try it. OK. 385 00:20:22,683 --> 00:20:26,763 {\an2}Steal your soul, Aaron. I'm opening Pandora's box. 386 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,803 {\an1}SONG: Build Me Up Buttercup 387 00:20:41,363 --> 00:20:44,203 {\an2}# Why do you build me up Build me up 388 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,763 {\an2}# Buttercup, baby 389 00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:47,843 {\an2}# Just to let me down Let me down 390 00:20:47,883 --> 00:20:49,403 {\an2}# And mess me around 391 00:20:49,443 --> 00:20:51,483 {\an2}# And then worst of all Worst of all 392 00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:52,963 {\an2}# You never call, baby 393 00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:54,963 {\an2}# When you say you will Say you will 394 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,323 {\an2}# But I love you still 395 00:20:56,363 --> 00:20:58,243 {\an2}# I need you I need you 396 00:20:58,283 --> 00:21:00,483 {\an2}# More than anyone, darlin' 397 00:21:00,523 --> 00:21:03,723 {\an2}# You know that I have from the start 398 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,763 {\an2}# So build me up Build me up 399 00:21:05,803 --> 00:21:08,963 {\an2}# Buttercup, don't break my heart... # 400 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,443 {\an2}This track never gets old, Aaron. 401 00:21:11,483 --> 00:21:13,963 {\an2}It's our song now. You and me. 402 00:21:14,003 --> 00:21:16,763 {\an2}An enduring symbol of our unbreakable bond. 403 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:19,683 {\an1}TAPE RIPS, MUSIC STOPS 404 00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:24,323 {\an2}Hm. 405 00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:27,203 {\an2}# Why do you build me up Build me up 406 00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:28,803 {\an2}# Buttercup, baby 407 00:21:28,843 --> 00:21:30,843 {\an2}# Just to let me down Let me down 408 00:21:30,883 --> 00:21:32,163 {\an2}# And mess me around 409 00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:34,483 {\an2}# And then worst of all Worst of all 410 00:21:34,523 --> 00:21:35,843 {\an2}# You never call, baby 411 00:21:35,883 --> 00:21:37,883 {\an2}# When you say you will Say you will 412 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:39,203 {\an2}# But I love you still 413 00:21:39,243 --> 00:21:41,043 {\an2}# I need you I need you 414 00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:43,203 {\an2}# More than anyone, darlin' 415 00:21:43,243 --> 00:21:47,163 {\an2}# You know that I have from the start... # 416 00:21:47,203 --> 00:21:50,203 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media