1
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,003
{\an2}How was your first day
at the care home?
2
00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:07,043
{\an2}Amazing. I got to feed pureed
casserole to an old man
3
00:00:07,083 --> 00:00:10,403
{\an2}with chewing difficulties. You know
that feeling when you help someone?
4
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,083
{\an2}Help someone swallow a casserole?
5
00:00:12,123 --> 00:00:14,283
{\an2}No, I don't. And I don't think I
want to.
6
00:00:14,323 --> 00:00:15,603
{\an2}How are you getting home?
7
00:00:15,643 --> 00:00:18,483
{\an2}Just a tram, then a bus...then
another tram,
8
00:00:18,523 --> 00:00:20,923
{\an2}but I'm happy to avail myself
of Oldham's transport system.
9
00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:23,883
{\an2}It's extremely reliab...
MUFFLED PA ANNOUNCEMENT
10
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:27,283
{\an2}Oh, no, you didn't finish your
sentence on the Greater Manchester
Tram Network.
11
00:00:27,323 --> 00:00:29,763
{\an2}Might be the most boring
cliffhanger ever.
12
00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:31,363
{\an2}All trams are cancelled.
13
00:00:31,403 --> 00:00:33,123
{\an2}I meant it when I said I could give
you a lift.
14
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,043
{\an2}And I meant it when I said,
15
00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:39,363
{\an2}"Thanks, but sharing a vehicle would
be inappropriate."
16
00:00:39,403 --> 00:00:44,003
{\an2}Well, enjoy your four-hour walk
home. It's the appropriate choice.
17
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,043
{\an1}CHORAL SINGING
18
00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:06,243
{\an2}David! You came back.
19
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,683
{\an2}Sometimes suffering brings growth.
20
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:12,643
{\an2}Job was afflicted with skin sores,
Jonah was eaten by a whale,
21
00:01:12,683 --> 00:01:14,403
{\an2}I...
BEEP
22
00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:16,083
{\an2}..work in this delivery office.
23
00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:19,883
{\an2}I'm just so grateful
that you're here.
24
00:01:19,923 --> 00:01:21,403
{\an2}Well, if you really want
to thank me,
25
00:01:21,443 --> 00:01:25,083
{\an2}explain why this is in the medium
pile when it's clearly under 500g.
26
00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,283
{\an2}Are you sure?
27
00:01:26,323 --> 00:01:29,643
{\an2}It's 495g, Sid. It's painful to
me you can't see that.
28
00:01:30,803 --> 00:01:33,363
{\an8}BEEP
Huh, close.
29
00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:36,923
{\an8}Nice to see even you can get
a bit rusty!
30
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,963
{\an7}HE BLOWS
31
00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:41,003
{\an7}BEEP
32
00:01:43,043 --> 00:01:45,963
{\an2}If the police stop us,
promise you'll say you're not
a kidnapping victim?
33
00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,203
{\an2}Joshua, don't make this weird.
34
00:01:47,243 --> 00:01:48,683
{\an2}I'm the one making this weird?
35
00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:50,883
{\an2}I'm not ashamed to be with you.
36
00:01:50,923 --> 00:01:52,603
{\an8}I'm ashamed to be seen with you.
37
00:01:52,643 --> 00:01:54,243
{\an8}Nothing offensive there.
38
00:01:54,283 --> 00:01:55,403
{\an8}Speedbump.
39
00:01:55,443 --> 00:01:56,883
{\an8}Oh! Sorry.
40
00:01:58,123 --> 00:01:59,363
{\an8}You got much on this week?
41
00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:02,883
{\an8}Well, it's my birth date
on Friday, so...no.
42
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,843
{\an8}Rachel, birthday.
43
00:02:04,883 --> 00:02:07,163
{\an8}In the real world, we say birthday.
44
00:02:07,203 --> 00:02:09,003
{\an8}No, birthdays are debauched.
45
00:02:09,043 --> 00:02:12,323
{\an8}Sure, it might look fun
to have...
46
00:02:12,363 --> 00:02:15,363
{\an8}..presents and cake
and loved ones, but...
47
00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:18,083
{\an8}Were you building to a point there?
48
00:02:18,123 --> 00:02:20,683
{\an8}On Friday, I will celebrate
the right way.
49
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,483
{\an8}By not celebrating.
50
00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:26,283
{\an8}And since I'm coming of age, I get
to go to Abijah's special sermon.
51
00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:28,003
{\an8}Abijah's a special sermon?
52
00:02:28,043 --> 00:02:31,603
{\an8}It's a talk on relationships
and courtship and...
53
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:36,043
{\an8}Sex. Relationships and courtship.
54
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,363
{\an8}Got you.
55
00:02:37,403 --> 00:02:41,163
{\an8}Well, if you're free Friday,
you could always come to mine.
56
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,603
{\an8}Unless not celebrating's going
to take up your whole day.
57
00:02:44,643 --> 00:02:46,123
{\an8}Let me know.
58
00:02:48,163 --> 00:02:50,123
{\an1}WHIRRING, BEEP
59
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:52,563
{\an2}Ah, wonderful.
60
00:02:52,603 --> 00:02:55,363
{\an2}Still working away, I see,
61
00:02:55,403 --> 00:02:57,683
{\an2}on your business. Mm-hm.
62
00:02:57,723 --> 00:03:00,603
{\an2}And that random power cut
didn't break your flow?
63
00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:04,443
{\an2}You didn't interpret that as a sign
from God to stop?
64
00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,483
{\an2}David, are you so scared of being
direct with me
65
00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:09,443
{\an2}you'd rather trip the fuse box
than tell me how you feel?
66
00:03:09,483 --> 00:03:12,323
{\an2}No! We just have a dodgy fuse box.
67
00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,243
{\an2}And the fact the kettle reliably
trips it,
68
00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:17,003
{\an2}that hadn't crossed my mind.
PHONE BEEPS
69
00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:18,923
{\an2}However, since I'm here...
70
00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:21,843
{\an2}Melissa's coming to look at stock
tomorrow. David, if you want more
71
00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:26,203
{\an2}of my attention, how about you
ask for it instead of holding me
ransom to power outages?
72
00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:29,843
{\an2}I'm going to make a peppermint tea.
73
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,003
{\an2}Oh, no! Did that get you?
74
00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:42,483
{\an2}I switched to the emergency
power bank.
75
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,403
{\an2}The one you got for the apocalypse.
76
00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:48,083
{\an2}So glad I bought that.
77
00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:49,883
{\an2}Thanks so much for approving
this, Elder.
78
00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:52,003
{\an2}I can't wait to stir
these young hearts.
79
00:03:52,043 --> 00:03:54,603
{\an2}Oh, I was against this, Abijah.
Don't thank me.
80
00:03:54,643 --> 00:03:56,683
{\an2}Thank the 6-5 majority
that voted me down.
81
00:03:58,283 --> 00:03:59,923
{\an2}You're not going to stay,
are you, Dad?
82
00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:03,003
{\an2}Obviously not.
It's a teenage sex education talk.
83
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,963
{\an2}Why would I... Take a seat,
please, girls.
84
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,803
{\an2}This isn't just about intercourse,
but how to make your relationships
85
00:04:07,843 --> 00:04:11,523
{\an2}rock solid when they might otherwise
drift apart.
86
00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:14,563
{\an2}Maybe I'll stick around,
make sure it's all above board.
87
00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:15,923
{\an2}First slide, please.
88
00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,323
{\an2}Uh-oh!
HE CHUCKLES
89
00:04:21,683 --> 00:04:22,843
{\an2}Dream catcher.
90
00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,163
{\an2}Sacrilegious.
91
00:04:26,443 --> 00:04:27,923
{\an2}Cherub-themed candle holder.
92
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,323
{\an2}Gaudy.
93
00:04:31,523 --> 00:04:32,843
{\an2}"Bread Of Life" chopping board.
94
00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,563
{\an2}Sacrilegious and gaudy.
95
00:04:36,683 --> 00:04:38,843
{\an2}Wait. These are like purity rings.
96
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,723
{\an2}I could sell these to Order girls.
97
00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:44,603
{\an2}Don't know how I feel about
burdening a whole wave of young
women with sexual shame.
98
00:04:44,643 --> 00:04:46,523
{\an2}I could buy them for �2, sell them
for eight.
99
00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:49,043
{\an2}Fuck yeah, do it.
That's a 400% mark-up.
100
00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:51,683
{\an2}Yeah. My principles die
in the low 80s.
101
00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,403
{\an2}Did you never think about kids?
102
00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:55,603
{\an2}Nah.
103
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:59,123
{\an2}If I had kids, I'd just end up
resenting 'em,
104
00:04:59,163 --> 00:05:00,603
{\an2}and they'd resent me.
105
00:05:00,643 --> 00:05:05,523
{\an2}And then years later, I'd find out
they'd gone on some kind of spree.
106
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,483
{\an2}There are no good sprees, Fiona.
107
00:05:07,523 --> 00:05:09,483
{\an2}It's easy to raise kids
in the Order.
108
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,763
{\an2}Our Elders are masterful educators.
109
00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:13,323
{\an2}Boys -
110
00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:15,483
{\an2}gross! Right?
111
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:18,003
{\an2}Well, not according to God.
112
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,083
{\an2}Interesting quotation there.
113
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,763
{\an2}Buy myrrh...
114
00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:27,963
{\an2}Communion with the opposite sex
is natural.
115
00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:31,843
{\an2}And if you need proof,
check out this babe magnet.
116
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:33,323
{\an1}HE CHUCKLES
117
00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:37,043
{\an2}In case you were wondering what
Elder Samson got up to when he was
still with the Prestwich chapter!
118
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:39,123
{\an2}Those are my sisters.
Only joking, Elder.
119
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,843
{\an2}Hannah passed away last year.
120
00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:44,843
{\an2}Next slide, please.
121
00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:48,363
{\an2}But it's not just
about finding a boy.
122
00:05:48,403 --> 00:05:50,283
{\an2}It's about finding the boy,
123
00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:52,603
{\an2}the one to share your first
time with.
124
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,843
{\an2}And by first time,
he means kiss.
125
00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,723
{\an2}And by kiss, he means on the lips.
126
00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:58,923
{\an2}In case any of you are getting
any ideas.
127
00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:02,083
{\an2}I have a question on behalf
of my daughter.
128
00:06:02,123 --> 00:06:05,523
{\an2}Dad! If your partner's too busy
with work, what should you do?
129
00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:07,563
{\an2}Well, you could try to respect
her work.
130
00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,003
{\an2}Yeah. Keep going.
131
00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:12,243
{\an2}Why not make time for each other
by planning an exciting date?
132
00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:15,683
{\an2}Obviously, the dating ideas
from slide four are geared more
towards teenagers.
133
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,003
{\an2}Email me slide four.
134
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,363
{\an2}I have a question.
135
00:06:18,403 --> 00:06:20,763
{\an2}Are there any other ways I can
safeguard my virtue?
136
00:06:20,803 --> 00:06:24,083
{\an2}Well, girls, I'm going to go
against the grain a little here
137
00:06:24,123 --> 00:06:26,803
{\an2}and say that now is the time
for discovery.
138
00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,203
{\an2}Dating is just your journey
to the one,
139
00:06:29,243 --> 00:06:31,323
{\an2}so let's open those minds.
140
00:06:31,363 --> 00:06:33,843
{\an2}OK, I'm shutting this down now.
Remove yourself.
141
00:06:33,883 --> 00:06:35,563
{\an2}Apologies for that, girls.
142
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,323
{\an2}So, the real take-aways from this
are sex is for marriage,
143
00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:43,723
{\an2}dating is for marriage, and marriage
is to be kept within the Order.
144
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:47,843
{\an2}Non-Order members are your enemies,
both personally and sexually.
145
00:06:47,883 --> 00:06:50,123
{\an2}Now, I'm going to pair you all up
for ministry.
146
00:06:50,163 --> 00:06:51,883
{\an2}Hopefully an afternoon of preaching
147
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:55,883
{\an2}will scour your brains of everything
Abijah has just said.
148
00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:58,363
{\an2}Sister Lewis, you'll be
with Sister Angeli.
149
00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:00,723
{\an2}Sister Edna, you'll be with
Sister Clough. Dad, can we go?
150
00:07:00,763 --> 00:07:02,563
{\an2}I don't want to get paired with
anyone intense.
151
00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:04,043
{\an2}Calm yourself, Rachel.
152
00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,963
{\an2}I'm sure this Sister Angeli
is just as laid back as I am.
153
00:07:07,003 --> 00:07:09,243
{\an2}Hey, Sister, how long can you
preach for?
154
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:11,923
{\an2}I've got nowhere to be
and boundless energy!
155
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:13,243
{\an2}See?
156
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,603
{\an2}Is this right?
157
00:07:17,643 --> 00:07:19,083
{\an2}We've fallen off my preaching map
158
00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:21,243
{\an2}and gone into the blank
space around it.
159
00:07:21,283 --> 00:07:22,643
{\an2}Oh, my.
160
00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:25,883
{\an2}Would you say we're very far
from the Order Church, Sister?
161
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:28,203
{\an2}Yeah.
162
00:07:28,243 --> 00:07:29,923
{\an2}Great.
163
00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:30,963
{\an2}Hold.
164
00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:39,003
{\an2}God, I hate buckles.
165
00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,123
{\an2}It's Julia, by the way,
not Sister Angeli.
166
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,083
{\an2}And I'm fucking hungry.
167
00:07:45,123 --> 00:07:48,243
{\an2}# There's a light in my life
168
00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:52,203
{\an2}# Shining over me
169
00:07:52,243 --> 00:07:55,803
{\an2}# There's a light in my life #
170
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,203
{\an2}# Shining over me... #
171
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,563
{\an2}Should we be in here?
172
00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:03,163
{\an2}They've got magazines with foil
on the cover.
173
00:08:03,203 --> 00:08:04,763
{\an2}This is disturbing.
174
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:07,123
{\an2}It is disturbing - the idea you'd
buy those
175
00:08:07,163 --> 00:08:09,283
{\an2}when there's porn online for free.
176
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,923
{\an2}And the pictures move.
177
00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:17,243
{\an2}Here. This is for me.
178
00:08:17,283 --> 00:08:20,883
{\an2}That way I can eat one bar,
claim there's summat wrong with
the other,
179
00:08:20,923 --> 00:08:22,683
{\an2}still get a full refund.
180
00:08:22,723 --> 00:08:25,523
{\an2}Basically been recycling
my 65p for...
181
00:08:25,563 --> 00:08:26,963
{\an2}Pfft. Half a year?
182
00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:29,803
{\an2}I should leave.
183
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,323
{\an2}Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not the Antichrist.
184
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:35,003
{\an2}He'd be more subtle.
Just honest.
185
00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:37,603
{\an2}Jesus rewards honesty.
186
00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:38,923
{\an2}With Mars bars.
187
00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,163
{\an2}Well, can I have the other half?
188
00:08:42,203 --> 00:08:44,523
{\an2}Oh, Rachel.
189
00:08:44,563 --> 00:08:45,723
{\an2}No.
190
00:08:45,763 --> 00:08:48,403
{\an2}# Shining over me. #
191
00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:52,843
{\an2}My love, I've returned to make your
day that little bit brighter.
192
00:08:52,883 --> 00:08:55,163
{\an2}You're literally
blocking out my light.
193
00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,323
{\an2}So, I've been thinking, we haven't
been on a date in a while.
194
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,683
{\an2}Not since...
195
00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:03,363
{\an2}Well, not since we were paired
together for our marriage meal
with Elder Raab.
196
00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:05,883
{\an2}David, he chaperoned us
the whole time.
197
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:08,603
{\an2}You put your hand on my knee
and he accused you of "infidelitas."
198
00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:10,923
{\an2}I don't think that qualifies
as a date.
199
00:09:10,963 --> 00:09:12,403
{\an2}The only date I've been on
200
00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:15,883
{\an2}is when the Elders nearly paired me
with Andrew 18 years ago.
201
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,763
{\an2}Well, let's move away from the more
loathsome corners of history
202
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,283
{\an2}and focus on the present.
203
00:09:20,323 --> 00:09:23,203
{\an2}What better way to celebrate our 18
years together
204
00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:25,563
{\an2}than with our...well, our
first date?
205
00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,643
{\an2}Abijah's had some ideas.
206
00:09:29,923 --> 00:09:32,323
{\an2}I've eliminated skatepark
and Laser Quest,
207
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,323
{\an2}but we could go to a silent disco.
208
00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:35,683
{\an2}Before you say it's too raucous,
209
00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:37,843
{\an2}remember, we don't have to put
the headphones on.
210
00:09:37,883 --> 00:09:41,323
{\an2}How about we go to that noodle
bar on Well Street?
211
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,123
{\an2}Cuisine from Japan?
212
00:09:43,163 --> 00:09:45,923
{\an2}Fiona, the furthest I've been from
Greater Manchester is Guernsey.
213
00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:48,203
{\an2}You expect my taste buds
to cross whole continents?
214
00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,723
{\an2}David, here's what I really need -
215
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,043
{\an2}streamlined website, cashless
transactions,
216
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,923
{\an2}and for you to show my work
some respect.
217
00:09:53,963 --> 00:09:55,843
{\an2}Oh, there's that word again.
218
00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:58,843
{\an2}I respect your work all the time.
219
00:09:58,883 --> 00:10:00,163
{\an2}For instance...
220
00:10:00,203 --> 00:10:02,523
{\an2}Fiona, I would like to buy a bag.
221
00:10:02,563 --> 00:10:06,123
{\an2}I already gave you a bag!
You haven't used it once.
222
00:10:06,163 --> 00:10:08,563
{\an2}Can I ask you to do one practical
thing for me?
223
00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:10,163
{\an2}Anything, Fiona. Wait.
224
00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:11,923
{\an2}Tell me what it is.
I might not want to do it.
225
00:10:11,963 --> 00:10:14,403
{\an2}Arrange childcare for Aaron.
He's on half-term.
226
00:10:14,443 --> 00:10:16,243
{\an2}And let me process my orders.
227
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,443
{\an2}Sure, I'm free.
228
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,123
{\an2}Don't you have a
delivery office shift?
229
00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:22,523
{\an2}Aaron, you're coming to work
with me today.
230
00:10:22,563 --> 00:10:24,403
{\an2}OK, Dad.
231
00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:26,083
{\an2}Childcare sorted.
232
00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:29,483
{\an2}You know what Elder Samson
said today?
233
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:34,123
{\an2}Would you ever date anyone
who wasn't in the Order?
234
00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:36,603
{\an2}I only date people who aren't
in the Order.
235
00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:38,683
{\an2}Have you seen the Order boys?
236
00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:41,643
{\an2}They've all got names like Jeremiah.
237
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,883
{\an2}And they only lost about ten
seconds. They last ten seconds?
238
00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,683
{\an2}I'll tell you when you're older.
239
00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:49,763
{\an2}But how do you make it work
with the rules?
240
00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:53,803
{\an2}There's this guy who wants
to hang out with me on Friday.
241
00:10:53,843 --> 00:10:56,643
{\an2}Do what all functional religious
people do -
242
00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:59,123
{\an2}contrive a loophole.
243
00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,403
{\an2}You're not dating. You're...
244
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,803
{\an2}..bringing him into the faith.
So, make peace with that.
245
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:07,083
{\an2}Enjoy it.
246
00:11:07,123 --> 00:11:08,803
{\an2}OK. Right.
247
00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:14,443
{\an2}Rachel, will you get over here
and spin me?
248
00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:16,723
{\an2}And put your back into it.
249
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,403
{\an2}I wanna feel the Gs.
250
00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:27,563
{\an2}This is it, Aaron,
my seat of command,
251
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,203
{\an2}the nexus from which all
packages stream.
252
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:32,163
{\an2}Cool. Um, David?
253
00:11:32,203 --> 00:11:35,043
{\an2}David, I'm not sure I'm comfortable
with you bringing your son here.
254
00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:38,643
{\an2}OK, Sid, why don't you show me
the rule that says I can't make
my 12-year-old son work?
255
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,483
{\an2}Child Labour Act of 1933?
256
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,923
{\an2}So you're gonna want to start by
grabbing a pack...
257
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,603
{\an1}BEEP
258
00:11:45,643 --> 00:11:48,203
{\an2}Aaron, your zeal is infectious,
259
00:11:48,243 --> 00:11:50,243
{\an2}but that's the trolley
for out-of-county shipping.
260
00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,803
{\an2}It is out of county. It was in
the wrong pile.
261
00:11:52,843 --> 00:11:54,763
{\an2}How did you know this was
a Berkshire postcode?
262
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:57,283
{\an2}It just felt right.
263
00:11:57,323 --> 00:11:59,363
{\an2}Samson's mane!
264
00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:00,683
{\an2}My seed is strong.
265
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,043
{\an2}Maybe I will let him stay.
266
00:12:04,603 --> 00:12:05,963
{\an2}RACHEL: Whilst we talk here,
267
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,123
{\an2}I'm already stressing about replying
to this guy,
268
00:12:08,163 --> 00:12:10,523
{\an2}and the spinning is making it worse.
269
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,323
{\an2}Hmm. The more nauseous you get,
the more centred I feel.
270
00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:17,363
{\an1}PHONE RINGS
271
00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,683
{\an2}RACHEL GASPS
Oh, my gosh!
272
00:12:21,723 --> 00:12:24,003
{\an2}Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's him.
273
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,603
{\an2}It's him.
OK, so answer.
274
00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:27,923
{\an2}Now, in front of me.
275
00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:31,003
{\an2}Without peer pressure, you risk
making a responsible decision.
276
00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:34,803
{\an2}Hello? Hello.
277
00:12:34,843 --> 00:12:38,243
{\an2}Hey! It was fun having you crammed
in my footwell yesterday.
278
00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:39,403
{\an2}Yeah.
279
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:40,923
{\an2}Yes. Fun.
280
00:12:40,963 --> 00:12:43,163
{\an2}So, have you made a decision
about Friday?
281
00:12:43,203 --> 00:12:45,043
{\an2}No pressure or anything. I just
wanted to... Um...
282
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,443
{\an2}Friday, I have Bible study.
283
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:48,683
{\an2}Could you move it?
284
00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:50,763
{\an2}SHE MOUTHS
Um...
285
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,003
{\an2}Maybe.
286
00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,923
{\an2}Cool. I think you know my address.
287
00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:56,323
{\an2}You ran off from it in a rage
like three weeks ago.
288
00:12:56,363 --> 00:12:58,483
{\an2}She wants to show
you her burning bush!
289
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,083
{\an2}Figured you'd yell something,
so I hung up early.
290
00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:02,883
{\an2}Wait. Why is it burning?
291
00:13:02,923 --> 00:13:04,763
{\an2}You tell me, Rachel.
292
00:13:04,803 --> 00:13:06,563
{\an2}You tell me.
293
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:09,363
{\an2}I'm wondering if I should
get your mother a gift. Mm-hm.
294
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:10,723
{\an2}Surcharge sticker.
295
00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:16,443
{\an2}I could finally give her
that recording of my Bible reading.
296
00:13:16,483 --> 00:13:18,603
{\an2}I've got as far as Exodus.
And the energy I brought
297
00:13:18,643 --> 00:13:21,843
{\an2}to the parting of the Red Sea
surprised even me.
298
00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:23,203
{\an2}Doesn't that sound good?
299
00:13:23,243 --> 00:13:26,243
{\an2}A gift that lets her hear me
at full volume any time at all?
300
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,683
{\an2}I guess just make sure it's not
something...
301
00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,923
{\an2}..possessive. Could get her
a bracelet.
302
00:13:30,963 --> 00:13:32,923
{\an2}OK. And engrave it to say,
303
00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:36,083
{\an2}"David's. Only David's."
Hmm...
304
00:13:36,123 --> 00:13:38,403
{\an2}I think Mum wants to know
that you care about her work.
305
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,523
{\an2}Why do you think I work here all day
completely unappreciated?
306
00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:44,403
{\an2}David, you're my idol.
307
00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,123
{\an2}I've offered to give you
my job multiple times.
308
00:13:47,163 --> 00:13:48,803
{\an2}Totally thankless.
309
00:13:48,843 --> 00:13:50,843
{\an2}Just think about it.
310
00:13:50,883 --> 00:13:52,283
{\an2}Whoa there!
311
00:13:52,323 --> 00:13:54,563
{\an2}That's not enough postage
for a 600g package.
312
00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:56,843
{\an2}It's 585g, Dad.
313
00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:58,963
{\an2}Are you sure? Because...
314
00:14:02,443 --> 00:14:04,843
{\an2}I'm just slowing you down, Aaron.
315
00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:06,883
{\an1}HE EXHALES
316
00:14:08,603 --> 00:14:10,803
{\an2}It's a privilege to watch.
317
00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:12,923
{\an2}Will his parents be there?
318
00:14:12,963 --> 00:14:15,123
{\an2}No. Nice.
319
00:14:15,163 --> 00:14:17,643
{\an2}You're definitely going to bang.
320
00:14:17,683 --> 00:14:19,883
{\an2}What?
321
00:14:19,923 --> 00:14:22,923
{\an2}I'm exaggerating.
You're too uptight for that.
322
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,163
{\an2}You'll probably just snog each other
323
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:28,403
{\an2}long past the point
where it's enjoyable.
324
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,603
{\an2}I can't go. I...
325
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:32,843
{\an2}I can't go. I'm going to tell him
that I can't skip Bible study.
326
00:14:32,883 --> 00:14:34,723
{\an2}You're going to skip Bible study,
327
00:14:34,763 --> 00:14:36,443
{\an2}and I'm going to cover for you.
328
00:14:38,443 --> 00:14:39,723
{\an2}Really?
329
00:14:40,803 --> 00:14:42,803
{\an2}You'd do that for me?
330
00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:45,963
{\an2}Of course. Your relationship stories
are already tepid.
331
00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:47,723
{\an2}Do not take a step back.
332
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,483
{\an2}Knockety-knock!
333
00:14:52,523 --> 00:14:56,363
{\an2}It's OK, Fiona. I haven't sabotaged
the power on this occasion.
334
00:14:56,403 --> 00:14:57,923
{\an2}Or any other occasion.
335
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,243
{\an2}What is it, David?
336
00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:02,283
{\an2}I bought you something.
337
00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,443
{\an2}David, I'm not sure I want any of
your gifts right now.
338
00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:10,043
{\an2}The last time you gave me something,
it was a locket of my hair you'd
taken without my knowledge.
339
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,683
{\an2}Collected from your pillow, Fiona.
340
00:15:11,723 --> 00:15:14,403
{\an2}I didn't use scissors. That would
have crossed a line.
341
00:15:18,723 --> 00:15:20,083
{\an2}It's a card reader.
342
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,483
{\an2}I actually need this. I'm...
343
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,563
{\an2}I'm going to use this.
344
00:15:25,603 --> 00:15:27,643
{\an2}I'm going to use one of your gifts
for the first time.
345
00:15:27,683 --> 00:15:30,043
{\an2}Come now, what about that feminine
shaver I bought you?
346
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,643
{\an2}For the first time, David.
BEEP
347
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:35,243
{\an2}Oh, my chastity rings
have sold out.
348
00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:37,643
{\an2}Parents are panicking about
Abijah's sex talk.
349
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,003
{\an2}And I'm taking that panic
to the bank.
350
00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:43,563
{\an2}Do you want to go to the noodle bar?
351
00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:46,243
{\an2}We could ask Melissa to babysit.
Melissa?
352
00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:47,763
{\an2}An outsider?
353
00:15:47,803 --> 00:15:49,483
{\an2}An intruder in my sacred grove?
354
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:53,803
{\an2}Yes.
355
00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:55,163
{\an2}Sounds good.
356
00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:58,243
{\an2}Oh.
357
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,163
{\an2}You're looking very smart, Aaron.
358
00:16:07,203 --> 00:16:10,363
{\an2}This is, at best, smart casual.
I'm not even wearing a tie.
359
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,043
{\an2}So, what you want to do? TV?
360
00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:14,403
{\an2}Ice cream?
361
00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:18,883
{\an2}Vandalise your dad's stuff?
I'm cool with all of that.
362
00:16:18,923 --> 00:16:20,963
{\an2}I'm going to draw religious imagery.
363
00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:22,483
{\an2}Yeah?
364
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,843
{\an2}That fun, is it?
365
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:28,163
{\an2}Using my pencils for the glory of
God? What could be more fun?
366
00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:30,363
{\an2}You're a really weird kid, Aaron.
367
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:32,723
{\an2}Kinda like you, though.
368
00:16:32,763 --> 00:16:34,523
{\an2}Thank you, Melissa.
369
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:37,123
{\an2}I'm still forming my opinion of you.
370
00:16:39,723 --> 00:16:42,323
{\an2}My menu is my place mat?
371
00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:44,923
{\an2}Well, if you wanted to blow my mind,
you've succeeded.
372
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,283
{\an2}I'll have the rice bowl. David?
373
00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:49,923
{\an2}I feel like I'm on
a culinary odyssey.
374
00:16:49,963 --> 00:16:54,683
{\an2}Tell me, waiter, this so-called
ramen, is it noodles or is it soup?
375
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,363
{\an2}It's noodles in soup.
376
00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,283
{\an2}I'm going to need more time.
377
00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:04,083
{\an2}And why, pray tell, would I choose
to eat seaweed?
378
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:05,803
{\an1}KEYPAD BEEPS
379
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:07,843
{\an1}INTERCOM RINGS
380
00:17:07,883 --> 00:17:09,963
{\an2}Come on up. I hope you're ready.
381
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,003
{\an1}BEEP
382
00:17:14,043 --> 00:17:16,043
{\an2}SHE KNOCKS
Hello?
383
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,403
{\an1}SOUL MUSIC PLAYS
384
00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:19,523
{\an2}Hello?
385
00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:21,363
{\an2}Don't come in. Oh.
386
00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:23,243
{\an2}Just finishing some stuff.
387
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,483
{\an2}Why are all the lights dimmed?
388
00:17:28,523 --> 00:17:30,403
{\an2}To set the mood.
389
00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:32,083
{\an2}It's a special evening.
390
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:36,923
{\an2}Now, traditionally, for this next
bit, you need to close your eyes.
391
00:17:39,163 --> 00:17:40,363
{\an2}Close my eyes?
392
00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:41,763
{\an2}Yeah.
393
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:46,163
{\an2}Are they closed?
394
00:17:46,203 --> 00:17:47,403
{\an2}Mm-hm.
395
00:17:53,643 --> 00:17:55,083
{\an2}Stick out your hands.
396
00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:01,763
{\an2}Come on, this way.
397
00:18:01,803 --> 00:18:03,923
{\an2}There you go.
398
00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:06,843
{\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: Look, I'm not ready
to bang, OK?
399
00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:08,483
{\an2}Bang?
400
00:18:08,523 --> 00:18:11,643
{\an2}Wow. Let's park that red flag
for a sec.
401
00:18:13,763 --> 00:18:16,163
{\an1}SHE GASPS
402
00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:20,243
{\an2}This is what a week's worth
of dog walking buys you.
403
00:18:20,283 --> 00:18:23,803
{\an2}Helium's pricey, so you'll just have
to settle for my lung air.
404
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:26,963
{\an2}Now, I know the Order says birthdays
are a pagan ritual.
405
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:29,803
{\an2}That's fine, because this isn't
a birthday cake.
406
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,803
{\an2}It's just a nondenominational sponge
407
00:18:31,843 --> 00:18:34,363
{\an2}that happens to have 17 candles
and your name on it.
408
00:18:46,643 --> 00:18:47,923
{\an2}You OK?
409
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:50,803
{\an2}You haven't blinked
in the last 30 seconds.
410
00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,923
{\an2}Whoa!
411
00:19:05,283 --> 00:19:07,403
{\an2}Wow.
412
00:19:07,443 --> 00:19:09,963
{\an2}Aaron, this is amazing.
413
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:12,123
{\an2}I love the detail.
414
00:19:12,163 --> 00:19:13,763
{\an2}Like this guy... David.
415
00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:16,563
{\an2}So, he's throwing his stone
over here,
416
00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:19,123
{\an2}but on the opposite side, it is
hitting this guy in the head.
417
00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:20,603
{\an2}Goliath. Yeah.
418
00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:22,563
{\an2}Somebody finally noticed that.
419
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:25,003
{\an2}Can you believe my dad
thought he was one of the Nephilim?
420
00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:28,483
{\an2}I mean, that's like mistaking Josiah
for the prophet Elijah.
421
00:19:28,523 --> 00:19:29,523
{\an2}Right.
422
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,843
{\an2}What do you make of your dad, Aaron?
423
00:19:34,963 --> 00:19:38,483
{\an8}He finds a lot of things difficult,
but he tries.
424
00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:40,163
{\an8}Yeah.
425
00:19:40,203 --> 00:19:42,683
{\an8}Cor, that's a good six pack,
in't it? It's an eight pack.
426
00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:46,923
{\an1}SLURPING
427
00:19:49,283 --> 00:19:51,323
{\an2}This drink is delicious.
428
00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:52,803
{\an2}That's miso soup, David.
429
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,483
{\an2}Fiona, you're a cultural queen.
How do you know all this stuff?
430
00:19:56,523 --> 00:19:58,483
{\an2}I googled the menu in advance.
431
00:19:58,523 --> 00:20:00,483
{\an2}and learnt rudimentary Japanese.
432
00:20:00,523 --> 00:20:01,883
{\an2}Arigato.
433
00:20:03,043 --> 00:20:04,603
{\an2}Wow.
434
00:20:04,643 --> 00:20:06,963
{\an2}You even know the waiter's name.
435
00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:09,323
{\an2}David, before you start
on that...
436
00:20:09,363 --> 00:20:10,563
{\an2}..dumpling... Mm-hm.
437
00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,443
{\an2}..it was very thoughtful what
you got me earlier, so...
438
00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:18,203
{\an2}You got me a return token of love?
439
00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:27,963
{\an2}You can just rip it.
440
00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:31,403
{\an2}It's from my wife.
I'm going to savour it.
441
00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:33,763
{\an2}Might even keep the wrapping
paper in one single...
442
00:20:41,363 --> 00:20:43,283
{\an2}Oh.
443
00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:44,643
{\an2}Oh, Fiona.
444
00:20:46,403 --> 00:20:50,003
{\an2}But I'm not really an Elder.
They didn't choose me.
445
00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:51,563
{\an2}But I chose you, David.
446
00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,243
{\an2}All those years ago.
447
00:20:56,283 --> 00:20:58,443
{\an2}And you'd choose me again today?
448
00:20:59,563 --> 00:21:00,923
{\an2}I chose you, David.
449
00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:05,123
{\an2}I can't wait to see what people
think when I wear this in church.
450
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,363
{\an2}Never wear it in church.
451
00:21:06,403 --> 00:21:07,843
{\an2}No. Right. Of course.
452
00:21:10,963 --> 00:21:12,363
{\an2}Hmm.
453
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:15,843
{\an2}So...bang.
454
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,883
{\an2}I'm impressed you know
what it means, to be fair.
455
00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:21,003
{\an2}You've only just learnt
what a birthday is.
456
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,323
{\an2}I'm sorry. Someone told me.
457
00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,723
{\an2}It's OK.
458
00:21:26,323 --> 00:21:27,683
{\an2}How's your cake?
459
00:21:27,723 --> 00:21:30,363
{\an2}I scraped all the icing off.
Didn't want to blow your mind.
460
00:21:30,403 --> 00:21:32,843
{\an1}SHE SNIFFS SOFTLY
461
00:21:32,883 --> 00:21:33,883
{\an2}What's up?
462
00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:37,603
{\an2}Nothing.
463
00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:39,843
{\an2}This is really nice.
464
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:41,803
{\an2}Yeah? You don't sound sure.
465
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,363
{\an2}No, I am.
466
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,083
{\an2}Thank you for remembering
my birthday.
467
00:21:49,203 --> 00:21:51,323
{\an2}Friends always remember birthdays.
468
00:21:56,123 --> 00:21:57,563
{\an2}Yeah.
469
00:21:59,163 --> 00:22:01,163
{\an2}Friends.
470
00:22:01,203 --> 00:22:04,603
{\an1}MUSIC: It's Me, O Lord by Pastor TL
Barrett and Youth for Christ Choir
471
00:22:14,683 --> 00:22:17,683
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media