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{\an2}This programme
contains strong language
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{\an1}DEEP BREATHING
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{\an2}Rachel?
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{\an2}Rachel? Wake up!
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{\an2}What? What? What is it? School?
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{\an2}There is no school.
That and everything else has gone.
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{\an2}The Lord has begun his Great War
of Armageddon.
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{\an2}The old system is done.
We have to get to the woods NOW.
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{\an2}Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
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{\an2}It's OK. It's OK, Rachel. Calm down.
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{\an2}Pack your bags
and get down the stairs
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{\an2}before your soul turns to ash.
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{\an2}GO!
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{\an1}HE RINGS BELLS
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{\an2}Pack your things, Aaron,
the end time is here.
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{\an2}Finally.
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{\an2}Which wedding photo, Fiona?
Portrait or kiss?
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{\an2}The kiss is more lively and vital.
But...
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{\an2}CAT MEOWS
Can you help me save Gideon, David?
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{\an2}We should prioritise living things.
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{\an2}Loud and clear. Kiss it is.
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{\an2}Come on, Rachel. Your neighbours are
being swallowed into the pit.
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{\an2}Go. Quick, quick. Thank you.
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{\an2}Please, God, deliver us from evil...
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{\an2}Rachel, God's not going to answer
your prayers right now.
He's busy lighting up heathens.
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{\an2}I'm asking him for salvation!
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{\an2}I pray that Rachel gets all her
just deserts in the afterlife.
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{\an2}Aaron, I don't need your pity to get
into paradise.
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{\an2}I didn't ask for you to get
into paradise.
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{\an2}I asked for your just deserts.
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{\an2}We're going to meet the congregation
at the top of Blakely Pike.
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{\an2}There we'll pray, shelter,
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{\an2}and eventually bury the corpses
of the sinful dead.
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{\an2}It's going to be very special.
RACHEL WHIMPERS
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{\an2}Make haste. The stars are literally
falling from the sky.
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{\an2}Is God going to let me survive?
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{\an2}I couldn't say. Who can fathom
the mysteries of the creator?
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{\an2}I'll give you about 50-50.
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{\an2}No! Please! Please!
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{\an2}Probably a sinner fleeing
the hellfire.
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{\an2}They'll be struck down before
he reaches Stockport.
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{\an2}God help us all.
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{\an1}THUNDERCLAPS
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{\an2}Can I have some food?
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{\an2}No. You get biscuits
after the moon's turned to blood.
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{\an2}No-one's here.
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{\an2}Did we make it? DID WE MAKE IT?
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{\an2}Two hours 19.
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{\an2}Not bad for a practice run.
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{\an2}What?!
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{\an2}The planet is safe for now.
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{\an2}Let all that worry pour out of you.
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{\an2}See, Rachel, those biscuits
would have been a waste.
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{\an2}I'm sure he's just relieved.
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{\an2}LET IT EEEEEEND!
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{\an2}# Some folks say the Bible is not
true... #
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{\an2}Unbelievable.
We were three shipments behind.
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{\an2}You've saved us in one morning.
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{\an2}How are you so fast?
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{\an2}Not fast. You're slow.
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{\an2}Unbearably slow.
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{\an2}David, for most of us, being a
Go Parcel sorting agent is a job.
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{\an2}For you, it feels like more of
a calling.
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{\an2}How's about going full time?
You've changed our lives.
We just think you're...
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{\an2}OK, I'm going to stop you there,
Sid. I'm here to pay the bills
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{\an2}so my family can serve God.
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{\an2}That's it. In fact, you should
prep for my departure
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{\an2}because on Sunday, the order
is promoting me to elder.
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{\an2}I don't know what that means.
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{\an2}Well, it means I'll be a full-time
spiritual shepherd,
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{\an2}and my stipend could be,
no exaggeration,
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{\an2}up to 75% of what you pay me now.
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{\an2}So, I can't convince you to stay?
You sure?
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{\an2}Sure as I am this package will make
it to Macclesfield.
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{\an2}# ..Oh, yes, yes, yes, I believe. #
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{\an1}BELL RINGS
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{\an2}Sorry.
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{\an2}Dad got me up at 4am
to do apocalypse practice.
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{\an2}Mm. I'm not going to ask
what that is.
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{\an2}B minus. Would have been higher,
but I reserve As for students
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{\an2}who remain conscious.
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{\an2}You do want to get into uni, right?
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{\an2}Got a lot of goodwill riding on it
and some real money.
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{\an2}I can squeeze in 30 minutes
of revision
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{\an2}between preaching and bedtime.
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{\an2}If I skip dinner.
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{\an2}OK, you can nap here over lunch,
but FYI, I've just had a bad
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{\an2}break-up, so I will be doing
some aggressive marking.
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{\an2}What's aggressive marking?
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{\an1}HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS
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{\an2}Mm.
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{\an2}Hug the rim, Rachel.
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{\an2}My locks need their edges
to be straight.
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{\an2}Can you not just go to
a hairdresser?
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{\an2}And miss the consistency of the bowl?
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{\an2}No. This is your duty.
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{\an2}Fiona did my scissor work for years
before you came of age.
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{\an2}I won't go back, Rachel.
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{\an2}TV: God doesn't judge you...
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{\an2}I should be in paradise right now.
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{\an2}This suburb should be a crater.
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{\an2}The real apocalypse
will come soon enough, Aaron.
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{\an2}It better.
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{\an2}David, when are we replacing the TV?
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{\an2}It's nice to have background noise
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{\an2}that isn't Aaron's pencils
or you chewing.
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{\an2}I don't know if we should replace
it. It broke in an act of God.
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{\an2}You poured a jug of water on it.
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{\an2}There were people kissing
on there with tongues.
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{\an2}The Lord guided my hand.
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{\an2}Hmm. I really want the TV back.
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{\an2}It's decided. To hang in its place,
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{\an2}Aaron's sketching a drawing of
us all in paradise. Right, Aaron?
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{\an2}After this morning,
there may be some creative changes.
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{\an2}Rachel, what are your eyes
like when you're scared?
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{\an2}What?
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{\an2}That's it. That's the look.
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{\an2}Right, now that I look the part,
it's church time.
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{\an2}Last meeting before
they promote me to elder.
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{\an2}Are you sure they're promoting you?
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{\an2}I've staked my happiness
on it, Fiona.
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{\an2}So, yes.
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{\an2}Oh, greetings. Good morning.
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{\an2}Oh, Andrew's on greeting duty.
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{\an2}Godsh, he's very blessed in
his suit choices, isn't he?
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{\an2}To pull off such
a light pastel blue.
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{\an2}Oh, the Lewises! Greetings!
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{\an2}Hello, little man.
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{\an2}I'm sure I looked just as good
when I was his age.
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{\an2}He's two years older than you,
sweetie.
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{\an2}Rachel, go reserve us our own row.
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{\an2}Can't have Andrew sat next to me
when I'm absorbing God's word.
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{\an2}Look at him with Aaron.
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{\an2}Man has no ability with kids.
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{\an2}THEY LAUGH
Yeah!Yeah!
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{\an2}Be respectful, David.
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{\an2}He's still recovering
from his wife's death.
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{\an2}I know, Fiona.
He won't let us forget it.
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{\an2}Ah! Our secret handshake
has grown to 17 steps now.
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{\an2}High five, Aaron?
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{\an2}No, thanks, Dad.
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{\an2}Shall we head in together?
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{\an2}How about you head in
and we'll follow after a long gap?
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{\an2}Oh, David, you crack me up!
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{\an2}Andrew's so great.
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{\an2}Shut up, Aaron.
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{\an1}QUIET CHATTER
#S
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{\an8}And that little boy, he said to me,
he turned and he asked,
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{\an8}"What's that sound?"
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{\an2}And I looked at him and I said...
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{\an2}.."That's the sound
of Satan's hooves,
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{\an2}"clip-clopping on your driveway."
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{\an1}CROWD MURMURS
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{\an2}Amen.
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{\an2}Great storyteller!
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{\an1}ANDREW LAUGHS
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{\an2}One job, Rachel.
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{\an2}I gave you one job.
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{\an2}Now, I have some rather
grave news to conclude with.
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{\an2}The Jay family are no longer
ordinands of God.
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{\an2}They've been excluded.
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{\an2}I can't go into what they did,
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{\an2}but a reminder that drug dealing
is a mortal sin.
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{\an1}CROWD GASPS
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{\an2}And we do consider coffee a drug.
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{\an2}There is only one way now for us
to extend our love to them,
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{\an2}and that is to shun them completely.
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{\an1}CROWD MURMURS AGREEMENT
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{\an2}Thank you.
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{\an2}First excluded in five years.
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{\an2}There were warning signs.
Their daughter has dyed pink hair.
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{\an2}SHE WHISPERS:
That's the Cooks, David.
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{\an2}They're sat right behind us.
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{\an2}Good morning.
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{\an2}Do you feel bad for the Jays?
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{\an2}They knew what they were doing
when they opened that cafe, Rachel.
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{\an2}Can I have everyone's attention,
please?
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{\an2}We have a new resident who's moved
to the area and has requested a
visit.
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{\an2}Which ordinand lives near
Blakely Road?
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{\an2}BOTH: I do!
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{\an2}Elder, I think Andrew is just
confused or stupid or something.
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{\an2}I live closer to Blakely Road.
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{\an2}David and I are neighbours.
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{\an2}He lives on the far side
of the cul-de-sac.
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{\an2}He might as well be in Gaza.
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{\an2}Well, if it is contentious,
I could pray for guidance.
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{\an2}When? I don't want God getting a
bias for you before I pray to him.
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{\an2}God sees all of time, David. Hmm.
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{\an2}Don't do it before 8pm.
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{\an2}The Elders will resolve this.
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{\an2}Well, I'll be happy either way.
I'll be happy one way.
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{\an2}I'm the most deserving.
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{\an2}My family does more preaching
than the entire congregation.
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{\an2}That's not true, is it, David?
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{\an2}Well, the week's not over yet.
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{\an2}In fact, Rachel,
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{\an2}didn't you say you wanted to do
some preaching today?
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{\an2}I really need to study, Dad.
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{\an2}Two hours studying, or
saving a soul for all eternity?
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{\an2}Go!
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{\an1}MUSIC: Peace on Earth
by Coleman Family
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{\an2}# I've been reading Revelations
About things to be
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{\an2}# Where John was writing down
the things he'd seen
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{\an2}# He wrote of a place
that you put down sin
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{\an2}# With thanks to God
when you live again
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{\an2}# Cos it's going to be peace... #
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{\an1}INTERCOM RINGS
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{\an2}ON INTERCOM: Hello? Hi.
Would you like to hear about God?
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{\an2}No.
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{\an1}INTERCOM RINGS
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{\an2}Would you like to talk about God?
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{\an2}Get lost!
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{\an1}INTERCOM RINGS
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{\an2}Hello?
DOG BARKS
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{\an2}Hello. I was wondering if you'd
like to talk about God.
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{\an2}Oh, fuck off, nun.
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{\an1}INTERCOM RINGS
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{\an2}Hi, would you like to talk to me
about God?
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{\an2}God. God.
God. God. God.
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{\an2}Sure. Come on up.
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{\an2}Wait. Really?
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{\an2}Eighth floor.
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{\an1}INTERCOM BUZZES
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{\an2}# God is now setting up his church
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00:09:51,923 --> 00:09:54,043
{\an2}# Teaching his saints
what they should know
226
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:57,363
{\an2}# For the mission is the kingdom
where they shall go
227
00:09:57,403 --> 00:09:59,083
{\an2}# Cos it's gonna be peace
228
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:00,723
{\an2}# Peace right here on Earth
229
00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:03,123
{\an2}# For God is now setting up
his church. #
230
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,323
{\an2}You want to talk about God?
231
00:10:06,363 --> 00:10:07,563
{\an2}Mm-hm.
232
00:10:07,603 --> 00:10:09,363
{\an2}Uh, are your parents home?
233
00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:11,123
{\an2}It's just me.
234
00:10:11,163 --> 00:10:15,043
{\an2}OK, well, you're a man
of marriageable age,
235
00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:17,803
{\an2}so we'll at least need my mum
on speakerphone.
236
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:19,443
{\an2}Her number is 0161...
237
00:10:19,483 --> 00:10:21,043
{\an2}I'm Joshua.
238
00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:24,443
{\an2}Like Moses's friend in the Bible,
if that reassures you.
239
00:10:24,483 --> 00:10:26,643
{\an2}You're being sarcastic,
but, yes, it does.
240
00:10:28,443 --> 00:10:31,883
{\an2}So the narrow path
leads to salvation,
241
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,923
{\an2}which is the righteous path
to heaven.
242
00:10:34,963 --> 00:10:36,723
{\an2}But the wider path...
243
00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:39,003
{\an2}Do you guys ever just have fun?
244
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:40,923
{\an2}No music, no films.
245
00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:42,523
{\an2}It's like you live in North Korea,
246
00:10:42,563 --> 00:10:44,563
{\an2}but at least they get to
watch parades.
247
00:10:45,883 --> 00:10:48,443
{\an2}I have tonnes of fun.
248
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,083
{\an2}OK, what's your favourite song?
249
00:10:51,963 --> 00:10:54,803
{\an2}You're trying not to think of
a hymn, aren't you?
250
00:10:54,843 --> 00:10:57,283
{\an2}Do you want a nibble?
No. No, thank you.
251
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,403
{\an2}I'll...I'll have fun
when I'm ready for it.
252
00:11:03,843 --> 00:11:05,523
{\an2}I'm applying to uni.
253
00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:07,763
{\an2}Uni? Pretty liberal.
254
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:10,043
{\an2}Your parents aren't worried
you'll OD on ketamine
255
00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:11,723
{\an2}and realise you're bi?
256
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,283
{\an2}I don't know what those things are.
257
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,963
{\an1}INDISTINCT CHATTER
258
00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:37,243
{\an2}I've got something for you.
259
00:11:37,283 --> 00:11:40,203
{\an2}Unsolicited Order magazines.
I'm returning them,
260
00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,643
{\an2}including the one you rammed
underneath my wiper blade
261
00:11:42,683 --> 00:11:45,803
{\an2}whilst graphically describing
what it would feel like to melt.
262
00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:48,323
{\an2}I wanted to make clear it
wouldn't be a quick death.
263
00:11:48,363 --> 00:11:49,843
{\an2}Melissa, you have to understand,
264
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:53,243
{\an2}we believe millions will perish
unless we personally save them.
265
00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:55,083
{\an2}But you're so needy about it.
266
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:58,123
{\an2}If you keep giving me these,
I'm welding shut my letterbox
267
00:11:58,163 --> 00:11:59,763
{\an2}or buying a violent dog.
268
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:02,563
{\an2}Right. The new TV calls.
You should try it, Fiona.
269
00:12:02,603 --> 00:12:04,003
{\an2}It's good for relaxing,
270
00:12:04,043 --> 00:12:07,123
{\an2}or distracting yourself from
an overbearing life partner.
271
00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:08,843
{\an2}Well, Fiona wouldn't know about that
272
00:12:08,883 --> 00:12:11,563
{\an2}because I destroyed our TV
and refused to replace it.
273
00:12:11,603 --> 00:12:12,963
{\an2}Ha!
274
00:12:17,883 --> 00:12:20,443
{\an2}So you have five dog leads
and no dog?
275
00:12:21,643 --> 00:12:24,523
{\an2}Yeah, I abduct dogs
and keep their leashes as trophies.
276
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:27,403
{\an2}That was a bad joke.
277
00:12:27,443 --> 00:12:29,123
{\an2}I work as a dog walker.
278
00:12:29,163 --> 00:12:31,243
{\an2}One of them's a show dog.
279
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:33,203
{\an2}Right. He has more money than me.
280
00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:41,003
{\an2}So could I put you down
for a repeat visit?
281
00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:43,443
{\an2}Sure.
282
00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:45,923
{\an2}Maybe then you'll have some
better jokes.
283
00:12:45,963 --> 00:12:49,403
{\an2}And any questions or clarifications
from your visit today?
284
00:12:49,443 --> 00:12:50,683
{\an2}Yeah.
285
00:12:50,723 --> 00:12:53,603
{\an2}What do you think about
excluded members?
286
00:12:53,643 --> 00:12:56,443
{\an2}Oh, I don't think about them.
287
00:12:57,643 --> 00:13:01,323
{\an2}But do you think it's right
to shun them or, like...
288
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,723
{\an2}..cut them out forever?
289
00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:05,603
{\an2}Well, I'm sure anyone cruel enough
to commit a mortal sin
290
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,723
{\an2}wouldn't be very nice company.
291
00:13:07,763 --> 00:13:10,003
{\an2}Do you think I'm bad company?
292
00:13:11,643 --> 00:13:13,003
{\an2}What?
293
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,843
{\an2}I used to be in the Order,
in the Prestwich chapter.
294
00:13:17,403 --> 00:13:19,843
{\an2}No, no, no, no.
295
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,363
{\an2}Wait! Wait a sec.
296
00:13:21,403 --> 00:13:23,203
{\an2}Why did you even invite me inside?!
297
00:13:23,243 --> 00:13:25,443
{\an2}I could be exiled
for even speaking to you.
298
00:13:25,483 --> 00:13:27,163
{\an2}How many friends
do you think I've got?
299
00:13:27,203 --> 00:13:30,483
{\an2}The closest thing I get is my mum
occasionally crying on the intercom.
300
00:13:30,523 --> 00:13:33,083
{\an2}You don't even know what I've done!
And I don't want to.
301
00:13:33,123 --> 00:13:34,443
{\an1}DOOR SLAMS
302
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,763
{\an1}KNOCKING ON DOOR
303
00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:51,003
{\an2}Mrs Lewis, I'm Rachel's teacher.
304
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:53,683
{\an2}I was just in town and the uni
flyered me for their open day.
305
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:55,163
{\an2}I thought Rachel might want to know.
306
00:13:55,203 --> 00:13:57,323
{\an2}So you came to our house
on your weekend?
307
00:13:57,363 --> 00:14:00,803
{\an2}Well, I've just had a break-up,
so lots of free time.
308
00:14:00,843 --> 00:14:03,923
{\an2}Plus, my betting shop banned me
online and in person.
309
00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:08,723
{\an2}Anyway, I don't want to overshare.
310
00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:09,843
{\an2}I think you already have.
311
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,603
{\an2}I guess we've got different
boundaries.
312
00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:15,963
{\an2}What makes you think Rachel
wants to go to university?
313
00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:18,363
{\an2}Well, her face lights up
when we talk about it.
314
00:14:18,403 --> 00:14:19,923
{\an2}So you have no proof?
315
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,763
{\an2}Will you pass this on to her?
316
00:14:23,803 --> 00:14:25,763
{\an2}Sure.
317
00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:26,963
{\an2}Let's swap.
318
00:14:33,603 --> 00:14:36,603
{\an2}Great. I'll call Rachel now.
Bye now.
319
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:40,843
{\an2}David!
320
00:14:40,883 --> 00:14:43,323
{\an2}Our daughter's on the brink
of moral hazards.
321
00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:45,003
{\an2}Let's talk to her tomorrow
after church.
322
00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:47,483
{\an2}Once I'm elder, the David
fear factor will increase tenfold.
323
00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:48,723
{\an1}DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
324
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,003
{\an2}Sure.
325
00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:51,803
{\an2}Rachel.
326
00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:53,283
{\an2}Good ministry? Nothing happened.
327
00:14:53,323 --> 00:14:55,283
{\an2}Where's your preaching bag?
328
00:14:55,323 --> 00:14:57,643
{\an2}I must have left it at church.
329
00:14:57,683 --> 00:14:59,043
{\an2}I'm sorry, Mum.
330
00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:00,963
{\an2}I'm so, so sorry.
331
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,243
{\an2}University.
332
00:15:03,883 --> 00:15:06,323
{\an2}The guilt's already weighing
on her soul.
333
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,683
{\an2}Mm.
334
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:16,363
{\an2}Got it. Thanks, David.
335
00:15:19,403 --> 00:15:21,723
{\an2}Normally I'd say you can't
dress like that, David,
336
00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:23,843
{\an2}but we need you more than
you need us.
337
00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:25,283
{\an2}It's promotion day, Sid.
338
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:28,123
{\an2}When Andrew sees these lapels,
he'll know who the alpha is.
339
00:15:28,163 --> 00:15:31,763
{\an2}David, I wanted to say, I know
you're a hero in your community.
340
00:15:31,803 --> 00:15:33,683
{\an2}You speak the truth.
341
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:36,283
{\an2}But this is our promotion offer.
342
00:15:36,323 --> 00:15:38,323
{\an2}Senior title, better wages.
343
00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:40,563
{\an2}I always wondered if you'd be
my Lucifer, Sid.
344
00:15:41,803 --> 00:15:43,123
{\an2}It's a no.
345
00:15:43,163 --> 00:15:46,163
{\an2}This world of click and drop
packages, fishing licenses...
346
00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:47,963
{\an2}We do those? We do.
347
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,083
{\an2}It's your world, not mine.
348
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,403
{\an2}So you can keep your envelope
349
00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:54,283
{\an2}and the assistant manager badge
within. How did you know...?
350
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,763
{\an2}Now, if you'll excuse me,
351
00:15:58,803 --> 00:16:00,923
{\an2}I'm going to grasp my destiny.
352
00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:03,683
{\an2}Goodbye, Sidders.
353
00:16:04,843 --> 00:16:06,683
{\an2}So let that be a reminder.
354
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,003
{\an2}Cover your mouth when you yawn.
355
00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:13,003
{\an2}Cos that's how the devil gets in.
356
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,363
{\an1}CROWD MURMURS AGREEMENT
357
00:16:14,403 --> 00:16:17,443
{\an2}Now, to conclude our service,
358
00:16:17,483 --> 00:16:20,123
{\an2}I have an announcement that I know
some of you have been waiting for
359
00:16:20,163 --> 00:16:21,883
{\an2}for a very long time.
360
00:16:21,923 --> 00:16:23,763
{\an2}Oh, here it comes. Listen to this.
361
00:16:25,363 --> 00:16:27,163
{\an2}The rear blocked toilet,
362
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,323
{\an2}which has been out of action
for so long...
363
00:16:31,603 --> 00:16:33,403
{\an2}..is now operational again.
364
00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:34,763
{\an1}APPLAUSE
365
00:16:34,803 --> 00:16:36,763
{\an2}Is that what you meant, Dad?
366
00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:38,123
{\an2}No.
367
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,043
{\an2}I mean, that is huge, but...
368
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:43,483
{\an2}Blessings be. Blessings be.
369
00:16:43,523 --> 00:16:45,443
{\an2}Samson, you didn't announce
the new elder.
370
00:16:45,483 --> 00:16:47,803
{\an2}Is it delayed, or were you
going to tell me in private?
371
00:16:47,843 --> 00:16:49,403
{\an2}Oh, no. No announcements today.
372
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,083
{\an2}Well, when will there be?
373
00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:53,083
{\an2}Because if, say,
I was already an elder,
374
00:16:53,123 --> 00:16:54,643
{\an2}but it just hadn't been announced,
375
00:16:54,683 --> 00:16:57,523
{\an2}I wouldn't want people mistitling
me. That would be rude of them.
376
00:16:57,563 --> 00:16:59,763
{\an2}I do have some news for you. Yes?
377
00:16:59,803 --> 00:17:01,883
{\an2}I spoke to the other elders... Yes?
378
00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:04,603
{\an2}And we've decided that you should
have sole ministering rights
379
00:17:04,643 --> 00:17:06,003
{\an2}for Mr Johnson.
380
00:17:06,043 --> 00:17:08,203
{\an2}The guy Andrew tried to steal?
He's mine?
381
00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:10,323
{\an2}Well, I wouldn't say he was yours.
382
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,723
{\an2}You'll be his spiritual shepherd.
383
00:17:12,763 --> 00:17:14,163
{\an2}All mine. Great.
384
00:17:14,203 --> 00:17:16,563
{\an2}Where's Andrew? I think he left.
385
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,363
{\an2}Is he aware of the new arrangement?
386
00:17:19,403 --> 00:17:20,763
{\an2}I've got to go.
387
00:17:21,963 --> 00:17:23,083
{\an2}Andrew!
388
00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:25,283
{\an2}TRIUMPHANT MUSIC ON RADIO
Let the trumpets ring out.
389
00:17:25,323 --> 00:17:26,603
{\an2}Let everyone know my noise.
390
00:17:26,643 --> 00:17:29,243
{\an2}David, if you don't stop revving,
you're going to break the clutch.
391
00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:32,003
{\an2}We're sallying forth, Fiona,
on a quest to catch the interloper.
392
00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:35,363
{\an2}If need be, we'll sweep the entire
city until we find that he's there.
393
00:17:35,403 --> 00:17:37,003
{\an2}Oh! There he is.
394
00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:39,283
{\an2}I don't believe it. That's the guy!
395
00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:41,363
{\an2}Andrew's already buttering up
my flock.
396
00:17:41,403 --> 00:17:43,363
{\an2}Well, can you at least
get out to confront him
397
00:17:43,403 --> 00:17:47,323
{\an2}instead of shouting through
the window? Oi, Andrew!
398
00:17:47,363 --> 00:17:49,203
{\an2}Andrew, what are you doing?
399
00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:52,083
{\an2}He's betrayed me
in front of the Romans,
400
00:17:52,123 --> 00:17:53,603
{\an2}and I didn't even get a kiss.
401
00:17:53,643 --> 00:17:56,043
{\an2}Brother Lewis, I was just telling
Mr Johnson here
402
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,883
{\an2}that you'll be looking after him
from now on.
403
00:17:57,923 --> 00:18:01,363
{\an2}Really? I thought it made sense,
given my new responsibilities.
404
00:18:01,403 --> 00:18:03,363
{\an2}Your new...what?
405
00:18:03,403 --> 00:18:05,083
{\an2}I'm an elder now.
406
00:18:05,123 --> 00:18:06,563
{\an1}DAVID SCOFFS
407
00:18:06,603 --> 00:18:09,243
{\an2}There is no new elder, Andrew.
They didn't announce anyone.
408
00:18:09,283 --> 00:18:12,443
{\an2}I asked them not to announce me.
I didn't want the extra attention.
409
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,723
{\an2}And it turns out a lot of
the congregation
410
00:18:14,763 --> 00:18:17,763
{\an2}already thought I was an elder,
so it won't be too different.
411
00:18:19,003 --> 00:18:20,323
{\an2}Blessings, Lewises.
412
00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:23,923
{\an2}David, if you're going to scream,
413
00:18:23,963 --> 00:18:25,363
{\an2}you should do it in a pillow
at home.
414
00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:27,403
{\an2}It's better for the kids.
415
00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:30,363
{\an2}David, when do you think
you can come?
416
00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:33,123
{\an2}My girlfriend just broke up with me,
so I need someone to talk to.
417
00:18:33,163 --> 00:18:36,203
{\an2}Soon. Tomorrow, or...? Soon!
418
00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:42,003
{\an1}ENGINE TURNS OVER REPEATEDLY
419
00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:46,563
{\an2}Please get our broken car
moved, David.
420
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,443
{\an2}You blocked the church car park.
421
00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:51,763
{\an2}Elder Shem says if it's not gone
by Monday, he'll run it.
422
00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:54,163
{\an2}No? I didn't catch that.
423
00:18:54,203 --> 00:18:56,923
{\an2}I'm still thinking about
Andrew's coup.
424
00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,443
{\an2}Not so fast, Rachel.
425
00:18:58,483 --> 00:19:00,723
{\an2}There's something
we need to discuss.
426
00:19:06,763 --> 00:19:08,883
{\an2}Your teacher sent me your report.
427
00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:11,643
{\an2}Did I not do well?
428
00:19:15,283 --> 00:19:16,883
{\an2}Maths,
429
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,003
{\an2}A.
430
00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:20,043
{\an2}English, A.
431
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,923
{\an2}Science, A.
432
00:19:21,963 --> 00:19:23,123
{\an2}They're all A.
433
00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:25,963
{\an2}Rachel, this is disturbing.
434
00:19:27,163 --> 00:19:28,643
{\an2}It's deeply disturbing.
435
00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,963
{\an2}How much preaching time
did you waste revising?
436
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,403
{\an2}Most parents would be pleased
437
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,523
{\an2}that their daughter's
doing so well in school.
438
00:19:34,563 --> 00:19:36,443
{\an2}Most parents will be dead forever.
439
00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:39,603
{\an2}Straight As, five out of five
for effort.
440
00:19:39,643 --> 00:19:41,243
{\an2}Where did we go wrong?
441
00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:44,363
{\an2}And then there's the matter
of your propagandist teacher.
442
00:19:48,283 --> 00:19:50,963
{\an2}I was a smart girl, Rachel.
443
00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:52,723
{\an2}I could have gone to uni.
444
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,283
{\an2}But I chose to raise this family.
445
00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:59,083
{\an2}Imagine what would have happened
if I strayed from the path.
446
00:19:59,123 --> 00:20:00,843
{\an2}We might never have met.
447
00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:03,923
{\an2}Yes.
448
00:20:03,963 --> 00:20:05,163
{\an2}Yes, indeed.
449
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,363
{\an2}It's warning signs like this
that force me to act.
450
00:20:07,403 --> 00:20:09,123
{\an2}Why do you think I dragged you
up that hill?
451
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:11,043
{\an2}Cos you want to be elder. No.
452
00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:12,963
{\an2}I don't...covet promotion!
453
00:20:14,123 --> 00:20:16,483
{\an2}And to make that very clear,
454
00:20:16,523 --> 00:20:18,603
{\an2}we're doing another
apocalypse practice tonight.
455
00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:21,243
{\an2}David, please don't make us stay
awake just so you can save face.
456
00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:22,883
{\an2}I won't do it to save face.
457
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:26,123
{\an2}I'll do it because
it was always the plan.
458
00:20:26,163 --> 00:20:27,683
{\an2}This was today!
459
00:20:27,723 --> 00:20:29,323
{\an2}Why didn't you tell me?
460
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:31,403
{\an2}Why didn't the serpent tell Eve
about the apple?
461
00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:32,563
{\an2}Oh, wait, he did,
462
00:20:32,603 --> 00:20:35,483
{\an2}and now women have to give birth
and serpents have no legs.
463
00:20:41,123 --> 00:20:43,323
{\an1}DOG BARKS
464
00:20:52,843 --> 00:20:57,203
{\an2}Hey! What are you doing on my road?
465
00:20:57,243 --> 00:21:00,523
{\an2}What are you doing on my
preordained dog walking route?
466
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,203
{\an2}Your bag had your address on it,
so I figured you'd want it back,
467
00:21:03,243 --> 00:21:05,443
{\an2}so you can destroy any evidence
of us meeting.
468
00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:09,003
{\an2}Oh. It's a good bag.
469
00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:10,603
{\an2}Mine has dog treats, now.
470
00:21:10,643 --> 00:21:12,843
{\an2}God's word has given way
to bacon dust.
471
00:21:15,843 --> 00:21:19,003
{\an2}FYI, I walk this route on weeknights
at 7pm.
472
00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,323
{\an2}Just letting you know,
so you can steer clear.
473
00:21:30,803 --> 00:21:32,203
{\an2}Yes, Aaron!
474
00:21:32,243 --> 00:21:34,123
{\an2}This is why you're getting an
early baptism
475
00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:36,163
{\an2}instead of waiting
like the common chaff.
476
00:21:36,203 --> 00:21:39,043
{\an2}A vision of paradise
from our very own master artist.
477
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:41,403
{\an2}The whole family laughing and...
478
00:21:46,803 --> 00:21:47,803
{\an2}Huh.
479
00:21:49,163 --> 00:21:51,643
{\an2}Am I in some kind of Jacuzzi?
480
00:21:51,683 --> 00:21:53,163
{\an2}It's boiling tar, Dad.
481
00:21:53,203 --> 00:21:54,963
{\an2}For your misdeeds.
482
00:21:55,003 --> 00:21:57,003
{\an2}Is this about apocalypse practice?
483
00:21:57,043 --> 00:21:58,923
{\an2}You raise my hopes
only to dash them,
484
00:21:58,963 --> 00:22:00,763
{\an2}so you go to the tar pits.
485
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:04,483
{\an2}Well, at least Rachel's smiling.
486
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:07,283
{\an2}Mad, after aeons of agony, Mum.
487
00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:12,603
{\an2}I'm going to speak to next door.
488
00:22:16,923 --> 00:22:18,283
{\an2}In your vision of hell,
489
00:22:18,323 --> 00:22:20,163
{\an2}can we atone and ascend to heaven?
490
00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:24,003
{\an2}Hmm.
491
00:22:25,403 --> 00:22:28,003
{\an2}# Something tells me something's
going to happen tonight... #
492
00:22:28,043 --> 00:22:29,203
{\an1}DOORBELL RINGS
493
00:22:32,883 --> 00:22:37,043
{\an2}# I read in the papers that Gemini
people will make it tonight. #
494
00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:40,523
{\an2}Melissa, I wanted to apologise
for inconveniencing you.
495
00:22:40,563 --> 00:22:42,323
{\an2}I'd love to wipe the slate clean...
496
00:22:42,363 --> 00:22:44,283
{\an2}What do you want?
497
00:22:44,323 --> 00:22:47,083
{\an2}Can I come and watch TV?
My family are being unbearable.
498
00:22:48,563 --> 00:22:50,403
{\an2}Makes sense. Come in.
499
00:22:50,443 --> 00:22:52,603
{\an2}# Everything that we've been
dreaming of
500
00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:59,283
{\an2}# Something tells me
something's gonna happen to you
501
00:23:01,483 --> 00:23:03,483
{\an2}# The smile on my face
is the smile... #
502
00:23:03,523 --> 00:23:05,083
{\an2}Rouse yourselves!
BELL RINGS
503
00:23:05,123 --> 00:23:07,243
{\an2}Smoke is rising from the pit!
504
00:23:07,283 --> 00:23:10,123
{\an2}Awaken. No, Dad, please!
505
00:23:11,403 --> 00:23:13,683
{\an2}Rise up. Rise up.
506
00:23:13,723 --> 00:23:15,963
{\an2}God's holy terror is nigh.
507
00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:18,683
{\an2}Deceiver! A second deception!
508
00:23:18,723 --> 00:23:20,923
{\an2}Just...pack your bags.
509
00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:24,803
{\an2}# Oh, I woke up this morning
510
00:23:24,843 --> 00:23:28,003
{\an2}# With sunshine through my window
511
00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:31,323
{\an2}# Everything that's happened,
512
00:23:31,363 --> 00:23:36,163
{\an2}# So far has turned out right
513
00:23:36,203 --> 00:23:38,563
{\an2}# And I got every reason
514
00:23:38,603 --> 00:23:42,603
{\an2}# To feel it's getting better
515
00:23:43,883 --> 00:23:45,923
{\an2}# It's getting better every minute
516
00:23:45,963 --> 00:23:48,923
{\an2}# Wait until we meet tonight. #
517
00:23:48,963 --> 00:23:52,123
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media