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00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:19,208
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells ringing... ♪
2
00:00:19,208 --> 00:00:22,708
So, Alisdair went away to Berlin
for a week
3
00:00:22,708 --> 00:00:26,291
and came back talking about
all this great art he'd made there.
4
00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:29,083
I'm playing supportive partner,
and I ask him where it is.
5
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:30,250
He says, "Where what is?"
6
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:33,041
I'm like, "Well, you do mixed media,
I run a gallery."
7
00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:35,250
"I'd love to see this great art
you've made."
8
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:38,166
- Okay.
- It's a short film of him
9
00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:42,541
and this hairy older Cuban man having...
10
00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:47,291
very slippery sex on a greased-up tarp
in what looks like an empty shoe store.
11
00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:52,750
- Putting the eggnog down.
- Marc, they made seven short films.
12
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:57,875
- Did they have sex in all of them?
- It's to do with the eroticism of greed,
13
00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:00,791
or capitalism,
or something cloyingly well-intentioned.
14
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:02,291
Joke's on me if I stay.
15
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:05,041
- So you're gonna break up with him?
- Mm.
16
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:08,041
- No. No, it's too much hassle.
17
00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:10,916
- I'll just let him do it eventually.
18
00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:12,750
Are there any decent men in this city?
19
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Thomas...
20
00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:16,166
- Oh.
- ...how many times do I have to tell you?
21
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You don't get to chime in on this
because you've made your own eggnog.
22
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And your hot, wealthy husband
23
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,791
is about to lead a sing-along
by a roaring fire.
24
00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:28,791
So... that question was intended
to just float there for a second.
25
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It's the only box with your name on it.
26
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Oh.
27
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I didn't know this was a gifts thing.
28
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I forgot to bring wine.
Don't tell Terrance I told you that
29
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because we got in a fight about it
on the way here.
30
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Oh yeah. Considering we practically
share my husband,
31
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I thought it only right.
32
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Marc doesn't deserve you.
33
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- You know that, right?
34
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And listen,
if things go south between you two,
35
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I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be right here.
36
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Okay. Well, I'm sure
Terrance will be happy about that.
37
00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:58,916
- Oh, he'd understand.
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If this is a check for my rent,
I swear to God...
39
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,208
{\an8}- Mmm.
- Incoming.
40
00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:07,500
What the fuck are these?
41
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,416
Oh.
42
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:12,583
Well, those are hand-crafted maracas.
43
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:14,291
After last year,
I thought it would be nice
44
00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:17,041
if you could still participate
in the carols.
45
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:20,291
- Do you know what? This is actually abuse.
46
00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:24,166
That song that you picked last year
wasn't in my key. Not on me.
47
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:27,375
My love, your voice is like a church organ
someone threw out of a window.
48
00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:31,750
Suing this household
for emotional damages actually.
49
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,666
- Empty threats, empty threats.
- No.
50
00:02:33,666 --> 00:02:37,333
- What are we suing for this time?
- I think it's high time I put me first.
51
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,500
Oh, as opposed to all the other times
you don't put yourself first?
52
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,416
- Thank you.
- From your husband.
53
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,000
I'm being silenced.
54
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,625
Why would you do that to her?
55
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,958
These are actually really beautiful.
56
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Thank you.
57
00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:51,791
Honestly, the gaslighting
around my singing is unbelievable.
58
00:02:51,791 --> 00:02:52,833
- Ooh.
- No, no, no.
59
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You are absolutely tone-deaf.
60
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And loud.
61
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Really fucking loud,
and I love you for it.
62
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How many drinks have you had?
63
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None of your goddamn business.
Give me that.
64
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,791
- Okay.
65
00:03:05,791 --> 00:03:09,375
May I request the honor
of everyone's attention, please?
66
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Daddy.
67
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We all know what time it is.
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Yeah!
69
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,833
So, come. Jackie, darling, would you get
the sheet music off the piano
70
00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:25,458
and pass it around to everybody?
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00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:27,875
You should also have received,
and I know you have,
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is my email with the audio files
of all of your parts...
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If I hear about the audio files
one more time.
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...generously arranged
by the magnificent Peter Finley,
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00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:41,125
former lover turned friend,
turned Academy Award-nominated composer...
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...who has taken time away
from his very busy schedule
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scoring the new Victoria Valentine film...
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00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:52,500
...to accompany us this evening.
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- We love you, Petey.
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No, but truly,
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00:03:56,958 --> 00:04:00,708
thank you all for making this
one of the great nights of the year.
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00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,375
- Hmm.
- And to my darling Marcus.
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00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,625
My love, may I one day be worthy.
84
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,791
- Aw.
- Okay, Petey!
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Loud and proud.
86
00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:16,958
♪ Everyday ♪
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♪ Will be like a holiday ♪
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Beautiful!
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♪ When my baby ♪
90
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♪ When my baby comes home ♪
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00:04:38,541 --> 00:04:44,791
♪ Now he's been gone
For such a long time ♪
92
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- ♪ Ever since you've been gone ♪
- Gorgeous!
93
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♪ I got a letter today ♪
94
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,708
♪ Just about noon ♪
95
00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:58,041
- ♪ It said, "Don't worry, baby" ♪
- Angelic!
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00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:00,916
♪ "I will be home" ♪
97
00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:02,333
♪ Everyday ♪
98
00:05:04,791 --> 00:05:08,125
♪ Will be like a holiday ♪
99
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:09,833
You sound glorious!
100
00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:14,208
♪ When my baby ♪
101
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:21,750
- ♪ When my baby comes home ♪
- ♪ When my baby comes home ♪
102
00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,833
- Key change!
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00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,208
♪ Everyday ♪
104
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:31,083
♪ Will be like a holiday ♪
105
00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,875
♪ Will be like a holiday ♪
106
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,458
♪ When my baby ♪
107
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♪ When my baby ♪
108
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:45,416
♪ When my baby comes home ♪
109
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- ♪ When my baby comes home ♪
- ♪ When my baby comes home ♪
110
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♪ When my baby comes home ♪
111
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:58,625
Ow!
112
00:06:04,791 --> 00:06:07,000
- Another shimmering success.
- Mm.
113
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:11,916
Sophie is starting to hiccup.
114
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,708
What's your point?
115
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:17,291
Catch up. You deserve it,
as you do most things in this life.
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00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:20,333
You should shag the barman.
I saw him eyeing you up.
117
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,500
Probably because he's never seen
a single human eat so many sausage rolls.
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00:06:25,666 --> 00:06:27,750
And I'd rather shag you, if that's okay.
119
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,375
- What, right now?
- Mm.
120
00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,625
Give Mrs. Bandini one more reason
to call the police
121
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,125
- on the puffs across the road.
122
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,916
I'll be back at the start of the week.
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We'll have lots to discuss.
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00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,958
I'm off, you animals. Make big mistakes.
125
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,708
Please. I love you madly.
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00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:46,625
I love you.
127
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,375
When do I get that?
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00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:09,458
My boyfriend?
129
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:14,166
You know, I think he experimented
in drama school, didn't like it.
130
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:15,083
- Really?
- Mm.
131
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:18,791
I just mean like a decent human being.
Because, like, you've got that.
132
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:21,291
Me and you break up,
and now you're 15 years into all this.
133
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:22,833
- What have I got?
- Oh, honey.
134
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,000
So Terrance asked me to move in with him.
135
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That took long enough.
136
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,708
Yeah, I haven't gotten back to him yet.
137
00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:29,625
Why?
138
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:30,916
Ah, too clean.
139
00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:34,125
I feel like I can't be myself there,
do you know what I mean?
140
00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:35,208
No.
141
00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:37,916
Be yourself, like what? Live in squalor?
142
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,666
- Throw garbage on the floor?
- Maybe.
143
00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:42,625
If that's what I wanted to do, you know?
144
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:43,541
Hey, babe.
145
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,458
Talking about you.
146
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:50,625
Cool. We're, uh, talking about you too.
147
00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:51,541
Hmm.
148
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:55,083
If only you could see
how you look from across a room.
149
00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:58,166
Take your fucking breath away.
150
00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,666
- Up close? Big old mess.
151
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:06,541
By the way, Marc,
this eggnog is... [inhales] ...delightful.
152
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:08,458
Thank you.
You're the only one that tried it.
153
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:09,750
Merry Christmas.
154
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,916
- Fuck.
155
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:15,916
Looks like someone had one too many
before driving home tonight.
156
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:17,625
- Oh, Jesus.
157
00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:19,250
Hmm?
158
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:24,041
It's Oliver's cab.
159
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,750
♪ As the miller told his tale ♪
160
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:48,541
♪ Mm, that her face
At first just ghostly ♪
161
00:08:49,916 --> 00:08:54,500
♪ Turned a whiter shade of pale ♪
162
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,416
Lily Kayne
has gone and had her tits done.
163
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:58,083
- And the studio is having a meltdown
164
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:01,250
because Victoria Valentine
now has implants.
165
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:04,708
What do they expect me to do?
166
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,875
I write the books, they make the movies,
167
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,500
and you, my love,
redo our gorgeous kitchen.
168
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,666
- I redo the kitchen?
- Mm-hmm.
169
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:14,833
I redo the kitchen
on top of illustrating all of your books,
170
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,083
and doing the covers,
171
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:21,416
and fending off
throngs of sobbing teenage girls
172
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,833
knocking on our door
wondering when you're going to finish
173
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:26,750
- the next two books you promised them.
174
00:10:29,416 --> 00:10:31,125
I owe you my life,
Marcus darling.
175
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,041
I know you do.
176
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:33,916
And thank God
for those teenage girls.
177
00:10:33,916 --> 00:10:38,333
No, not tonight. Not when they're
taking you away from your own party early.
178
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:39,666
It's our party,
179
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:43,208
because you planned it knowing full well
180
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:46,083
that I had a book signing in Paris
in the morning.
181
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:49,166
It's a signing.
You could have pushed a signing.
182
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:52,583
You don't push a Christmas
signing at the Louvre, my love.
183
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:56,625
Have I told you
how handsome you look tonight?
184
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,166
Not enough, honestly.
185
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:01,875
Tell me the piano got tuned.
186
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:06,083
- The piano got tuned.
- Mmm.
187
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,916
Even the funny key?
188
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,791
- Replaced.
189
00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:17,875
I have longed for people before...
190
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:18,833
Mm-hmm.
191
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,583
I've loved people before
192
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:23,958
But not like this
193
00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:25,291
It was not this
194
00:11:25,958 --> 00:11:29,625
Give me a world
You've taken the world I was
195
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,916
Did you just come up with that?
196
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:37,333
- No, Anne Carson.
- Ah.
197
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:39,583
I'd give up this house
to have written that.
198
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:42,041
Well, we don't want that.
We just redid our kitchen.
199
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:43,083
Too right.
200
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,625
Thank you for the party.
201
00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:17,958
Oliver changed
so many people's lives.
202
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,375
Especially mine.
203
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:27,500
I remember reading
part of the first Victoria Valentine book
204
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,833
for my audition for the film and thinking...
205
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:32,791
"This character
206
00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:37,125
is why I wanted to be an actress."
207
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,000
She's strong.
208
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,125
Smart.
209
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,666
She's a truth-seeker.
210
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:46,791
Literally.
211
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:48,500
She's telepathic.
212
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,750
But I'm sure you all know that.
213
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,458
And now he's gone.
214
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,375
And my heart breaks.
215
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:00,375
For his family.
216
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,333
And for our movie.
217
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:09,041
All of us wondering,
"Why? Why did this have to happen?"
218
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,250
He had so many more stories to tell.
219
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:16,791
But life fucking sucks.
220
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,791
Now we don't know if we'll end up
shooting the fifth and sixth movies
221
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:23,458
because he was still writing them.
222
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,333
So...
223
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:28,708
Oliver...
224
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:31,500
you little slut.
225
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,458
Okay.
226
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:35,875
I hope the studio green-lights them
in your honor,
227
00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:40,500
and that we get to continue to tell
your stories for many years to come,
228
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,625
because we...
229
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:44,958
need them.
230
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:54,958
Oliver's first word was "move."
231
00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:58,916
As in, "Out of my way."
232
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,166
He can't have been more than one.
233
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:11,333
I was blocking his path
to our little back garden and, uh,
234
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:16,000
he was determined
to get to the snapdragons.
235
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:21,833
He loved squeezing their heads,
making them talk.
236
00:14:24,375 --> 00:14:26,083
He didn't know it at the time,
237
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:30,875
but he was telling stories,
even before he could speak.
238
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:37,708
Growing up, he'd share his writing
with his mom and me.
239
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:43,083
Always about princesses
in search of things.
240
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:45,416
Um...
241
00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:49,583
I've been thinking a lot these days
242
00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:56,166
about all the times I encouraged him
to write about something else.
243
00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:59,416
Something boys would write about.
244
00:15:00,916 --> 00:15:04,000
He was, uh, quite defiant.
245
00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:06,208
"I'm a boy."
246
00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:09,541
"And this is what I want to write about."
247
00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:17,083
I can hear him now,
scolding me for underselling his stories.
248
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:24,750
I, uh... had a tendency to do that, and, uh...
249
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:27,916
he'd be right.
250
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,750
It's not...
251
00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:35,625
a light thing...
252
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:40,708
to know that your child succeeded
in spite of you.
253
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,583
I only wish I could have told him
254
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:50,875
how much I regret
blocking his path to the snapdragons.
255
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,541
I hope you're having a laugh
with your mom up there.
256
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:05,291
What I wouldn't do
to take your place, son.
257
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:08,041
I love you.
258
00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:12,708
And I'm proud of you.
259
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,333
I'm so...
260
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,750
proud of you.
261
00:16:43,041 --> 00:16:45,000
I've always loved your sketches.
262
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:49,416
How many times
have you promised me new work?
263
00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:55,875
There'll always be space for you
when you're ready.
264
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:03,666
Thank you for coming to stay.
265
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,541
Well, it's a huge burden...
266
00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:11,333
- ...to get to use your kitchen
267
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,541
and sleep on an expensive
memory foam mattress,
268
00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,500
- but you said you wanted company.
- Mm-hmm.
269
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:20,875
You okay?
270
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,250
So, that's a yes.
271
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,083
- She's just through here.
- Thank you.
272
00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:33,500
Thank you for coming in.
273
00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:36,375
Of course.
274
00:17:36,375 --> 00:17:39,291
So, before we get into everything,
275
00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:41,375
I wanted you to be aware
276
00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:44,208
that Oliver's publishers
are trying to get out of his deal,
277
00:17:44,208 --> 00:17:46,333
as he won't be delivering
his next two books.
278
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:48,708
It's been a month.
279
00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,041
People are disgusting.
280
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:53,125
It's a big advance.
281
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,208
But yes, the Americans
have never been known for their tact.
282
00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:02,291
Lawyers are on it.
We'll have more for you soon.
283
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,250
Okay.
284
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:07,333
And you?
285
00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:10,625
Haven't been sleeping?
286
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:11,708
Mm.
287
00:18:13,916 --> 00:18:18,625
I've been, uh, reading that
the brain is like a muscle.
288
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,000
That's why getting over a death
is so hard,
289
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,500
because your brain has been trained
to feel things for a person.
290
00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:31,083
And when they go away,
your head is still operating
291
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,833
under the impression
that it should feel those things...
292
00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:37,125
for that person. Like...
293
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:40,291
muscle memory.
294
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:46,916
So I'm just trying to train my brain
to not feel as much for right now.
295
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:49,750
Just to get me through the next year
296
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:55,916
so that I'm not constantly reminded
of the fact that I am now both an orphan
297
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:58,125
and a widow-er.
298
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:02,791
Why, does it look like
I haven't been sleeping?
299
00:19:03,791 --> 00:19:06,083
I think we'll hold off on the will
for today.
300
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:23,375
- I'm going to murder you for this.
- You got this.
301
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,666
You have got this, babe, I believe in you.
302
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,000
All right, guys.
All done setting up the bars.
303
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,333
Bring yourselves over here,
304
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,500
we'll go through
what we're going to do today.
305
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:32,666
Sit on the ankles.
306
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:36,791
Good. On the third rep,
pause at the bottom.
307
00:19:36,791 --> 00:19:38,541
Hands on the inside of the knees.
308
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:42,708
Good. Lovely. In this position,
I want you to cough for me.
309
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,333
Feel your abdominals.
310
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,666
- Nice. Are you okay?
- She's not doing it properly.
311
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,750
No, you might need
to just check your pose,
312
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,416
- lift your chest a bit higher.
313
00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:54,333
Oh, no.
314
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,458
Slowly back down.
315
00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:58,625
- Good. One more. Up.
- I love you.
316
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,250
Breathe in on the way down.
317
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:01,208
Down.
318
00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:02,791
And stand.
319
00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:15,375
So my hair's just like yours?
So I want to be just like you?
320
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,750
I want to understand it.
321
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:19,250
- I want to... a lot of different guys...
322
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,791
...party until 5:00 in the morning?
323
00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:23,666
You know, it's almost Shakespearean,
324
00:20:23,666 --> 00:20:26,125
if you think about it,
the levels of betrayal,
325
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,833
and yet they continue
to show up to these dinners.
326
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:19,666
What do you mean I have to pick a song?
It's a dating app.
327
00:21:19,666 --> 00:21:22,166
The song plays
over a montage of pictures of you.
328
00:21:23,458 --> 00:21:26,708
Well, is there... Thank you.
Is there an option not to?
329
00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,416
I mean, what kind of songs do people pick?
330
00:21:29,416 --> 00:21:33,333
Radiohead. An awful lot of
creative directors picking Radiohead.
331
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,083
It's only been six months.
He doesn't have to do this.
332
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,458
Thank you very much.
333
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:40,583
Toni Braxton, "You're Makin' Me High."
Works every time.
334
00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:41,958
- How do you know?
335
00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:44,958
- Nabbed me this one, didn't it? Hmm?
336
00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:47,125
It was the pictures
that worked for me.
337
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:49,583
I can assure you it was the pictures.
338
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:52,458
Although, had I known
what I was getting myself into--
339
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:54,666
Anyway, I had a legendary slideshow.
340
00:21:54,666 --> 00:21:57,625
- Men love a thong strap, God love them.
- Mm-hmm.
341
00:21:57,625 --> 00:22:00,541
Aw, you've kept his nudes.
342
00:22:00,541 --> 00:22:03,125
- Give me that.
- That's so sweet.
343
00:22:03,125 --> 00:22:05,000
What? It's fucking romantic.
344
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:07,833
I'm sorry, I was just
looking for photos of you,
345
00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:10,875
and I can't find any of you
alone without him, and I...
346
00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,083
It feels weird cropping him out.
347
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,416
Do I look older to you?
I feel like I've aged a lot.
348
00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:19,250
- No--
- Yes. Your husband just died.
349
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,500
You're allowed, my God.
350
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:24,791
I believe her.
351
00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:39,333
♪ Sittin' here thinking, baby, about you ♪
352
00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:45,208
♪ I'm wonderin' how I ever
Got through my life without you... ♪
353
00:22:49,208 --> 00:22:50,375
Hi.
354
00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:51,458
Hi.
355
00:22:51,458 --> 00:22:52,958
I think we should go out.
356
00:22:55,791 --> 00:23:00,166
Oh, and, uh... I ended things with Terrance.
357
00:23:00,166 --> 00:23:01,375
What? What happened?
358
00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:03,083
It was a long time coming, Marc.
359
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:06,791
You know, and I'm feeling good.
Feeling great, actually.
360
00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:08,625
It was bringing me down. All of it.
361
00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:12,041
I just... refuse to be trapped
by the system, you know?
362
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,625
I don't want rules. I don't want threats.
363
00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:15,916
He threatened you?
364
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:19,416
Who he is threatened me, Marc. Who he is.
365
00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:22,041
I just can't be his kind of wife.
366
00:23:22,041 --> 00:23:24,458
- Wife?
- I just said I can't be that right now.
367
00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:25,500
He proposed to you?
368
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,083
Terrance proposed?
369
00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:29,791
No. No, no, no.
Apparently, they've just broken up.
370
00:23:29,791 --> 00:23:30,708
What?
371
00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:33,541
It's not it. Heart said no. Get dressed.
372
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:36,666
I told Alisdair
I'd stop by this art thing,
373
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,791
it's like a group exhibit
Christmas party in a warehouse.
374
00:23:39,791 --> 00:23:41,083
Sounds like a nightmare.
375
00:23:42,083 --> 00:23:43,166
Thomas.
376
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:47,541
Alisdair broke up with you last year.
377
00:23:48,458 --> 00:23:50,833
On your birthday.
Why are you doing this to yourself?
378
00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:54,083
Because I'm thinking
of signing him to the gallery.
379
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,916
And my one true love is chaos.
380
00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,208
Mine too. Marc, come on, get your shit.
381
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:01,583
No, I cannot go out tonight.
I have work to do.
382
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:04,833
What the fuck kind of work
you got on a Friday night?
383
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:08,708
My therapist has given me some work to do
384
00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:11,083
in preparation
for the anniversary of the time
385
00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:15,250
I watched my husband
get pried out of a car like escargot.
386
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:16,583
Okay, so...
387
00:24:16,583 --> 00:24:19,083
He's going to be reading
Oliver's Christmas card.
388
00:24:20,791 --> 00:24:21,875
I'm reading the card.
389
00:24:21,875 --> 00:24:24,041
Oh my God, that fucking card
hasn't been opened yet.
390
00:24:24,041 --> 00:24:27,125
- That's what I said.
- Can you both relax, please?
391
00:24:27,125 --> 00:24:28,416
Marcus...
392
00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:30,875
Lovey,
393
00:24:31,875 --> 00:24:35,541
we have been here for you
whenever you've needed us
394
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:37,250
for almost a year now.
395
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:40,625
We built you the nest,
396
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:43,708
and we sat on you for a year.
397
00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,916
It's time to hatch, my little lovely.
398
00:24:47,916 --> 00:24:49,083
Open that card.
399
00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:51,083
Cry it out.
400
00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:54,750
Throw on something expensive
and meet us there.
401
00:24:55,583 --> 00:24:56,500
Hmm?
402
00:24:57,791 --> 00:24:58,791
We love you.
403
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,875
This is us... loving you.
404
00:26:27,208 --> 00:26:29,833
- No, thank you.
405
00:26:29,833 --> 00:26:31,833
Why? Are you scared?
406
00:26:32,916 --> 00:26:34,833
Always. You?
407
00:26:34,833 --> 00:26:36,250
- Terrified.
- Of what?
408
00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:37,958
Everything beyond this.
409
00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,541
Well, you should be.
410
00:26:41,416 --> 00:26:45,291
And from my experience, all of this
will just leave you dizzy and embarrassed.
411
00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:49,458
Dick.
412
00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:33,916
♪ Maybe we could make it all right ♪
413
00:27:33,916 --> 00:27:35,958
Um... Two red wine, please.
414
00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:42,666
♪ We could make it better sometime ♪
415
00:27:42,666 --> 00:27:43,583
Thanks.
416
00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:47,375
I bought you a drink.
417
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:50,458
♪ Maybe we could make it happen, baby... ♪
418
00:27:50,458 --> 00:27:51,750
Okay.
419
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,500
Do you make a habit
out of pissing off performance artists?
420
00:27:57,541 --> 00:28:00,208
Can't say the work is very fresh,
but they're trying.
421
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:01,291
Aren't we all?
422
00:28:03,625 --> 00:28:05,750
I think they're just looking for company.
423
00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:08,291
Unlike you, it seems.
424
00:28:10,708 --> 00:28:11,958
You bought me this drink.
425
00:28:11,958 --> 00:28:13,750
You didn't really give me
much of a choice.
426
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,375
I can give it to someone else.
427
00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:17,833
There's a man downstairs
painting with his cock.
428
00:28:20,791 --> 00:28:22,666
Does this mean that
you want to keep me company?
429
00:28:22,666 --> 00:28:26,750
Because I can assure you
that is a huge mistake.
430
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:32,375
♪ Tell me would it make you happy, baby... ♪
431
00:28:35,208 --> 00:28:36,291
Do you work in art?
432
00:28:39,166 --> 00:28:40,375
I used to paint.
433
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:44,083
More recently,
I've been illustrating children's books.
434
00:28:44,666 --> 00:28:46,000
Why did you stop painting?
435
00:28:47,208 --> 00:28:49,416
That's a big question
coming from a stranger.
436
00:28:49,416 --> 00:28:50,500
Oh, my apologies.
437
00:28:51,666 --> 00:28:53,541
I can compliment your jacket instead.
438
00:28:56,750 --> 00:29:01,416
My mom died, and I found it too painful.
So I stopped.
439
00:29:03,291 --> 00:29:04,291
Fun party chat.
440
00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:07,666
And you never thought
about painting through it?
441
00:29:09,083 --> 00:29:10,916
No, I'm too tired for masochism.
442
00:29:11,666 --> 00:29:12,750
I don't know...
443
00:29:13,791 --> 00:29:15,750
I don't want to sound
like a pretentious asshole,
444
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:19,375
but isn't art
a kind of commemoration of pain?
445
00:29:21,083 --> 00:29:22,208
Where does it go otherwise?
446
00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:26,333
- You're very lucky you're French.
447
00:29:31,291 --> 00:29:34,166
I guess I put it into my marriage,
which was a mistake.
448
00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:35,958
So you're married?
449
00:29:38,125 --> 00:29:39,125
I was.
450
00:29:40,083 --> 00:29:41,666
He died as well, last year.
451
00:29:42,958 --> 00:29:44,708
- Sorry to hear.
- Mm.
452
00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:50,166
I don't even know your name.
453
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:51,083
Theo.
454
00:29:52,583 --> 00:29:53,416
Marc.
455
00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:56,791
Should I have complimented your jacket?
456
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,500
No.
457
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:03,083
So can I ask you
to have a drink with me this week?
458
00:30:03,791 --> 00:30:06,458
I'm here for a few days
before heading back to Paris.
459
00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:09,833
I don't think so.
460
00:30:11,916 --> 00:30:13,916
But I will put my number in your phone.
461
00:30:21,583 --> 00:30:24,250
Their parents bought them the space
to keep them busy.
462
00:30:24,958 --> 00:30:26,833
Like a big, expensive sandbox.
463
00:30:27,916 --> 00:30:29,208
The sad thing is...
464
00:30:29,208 --> 00:30:31,541
They know
they're not very good.
465
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:37,000
Marcus.
466
00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:43,708
- It was nice to meet you.
- Mm. And you, Marc.
467
00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:47,000
Where the hell were you?
468
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,791
I've been here for 45 minutes.
469
00:30:50,583 --> 00:30:51,416
Who was that?
470
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:54,250
I don't know.
471
00:30:55,416 --> 00:30:57,833
Hmm. How was everything at home?
472
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:01,083
Alisdair has a new boyfriend.
473
00:31:01,083 --> 00:31:02,666
Brought him tonight.
474
00:31:02,666 --> 00:31:04,291
Waved him around in front of Thomas
475
00:31:04,291 --> 00:31:07,166
like a ribbon in a goddamn
rhythmic gymnastics routine.
476
00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:08,791
It was a whole thing.
477
00:31:08,791 --> 00:31:12,666
- You didn't know he was seeing somebody?
- No, I... I'm fine. Okay?
478
00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:14,375
It wasn't a whole thing.
479
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:15,833
I don't care about him.
480
00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:17,208
It was a whole thing.
481
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:21,041
Meanwhile, I may now be
single and unemployed,
482
00:31:21,041 --> 00:31:23,666
but I've lifted the veil,
and mine eyes can see.
483
00:31:23,666 --> 00:31:25,833
I'm sorry, you've lost your job?
484
00:31:25,833 --> 00:31:28,958
I love the fact that you jump
to the conclusion that I was fired.
485
00:31:28,958 --> 00:31:31,416
- Look at these hands. Hmm?
486
00:31:31,416 --> 00:31:35,458
Look at the calluses I have from lacing up
25 white women's corsets every day.
487
00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:36,958
You studied costume design.
488
00:31:36,958 --> 00:31:38,916
You're working on a Keira Knightley movie.
489
00:31:38,916 --> 00:31:42,000
Precisely. I need to be
doing my own thing.
490
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,791
Guys, I'm feeling really clear.
Like, really free.
491
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:48,916
She's on molly and a bottle of wine.
492
00:31:48,916 --> 00:31:50,375
I'm fine.
493
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:53,458
I literally have never felt better.
494
00:31:53,458 --> 00:31:56,958
I might need to stay with you guys
for, like, two weeks to six months,
495
00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:59,000
just till I figure out my next move.
496
00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:01,958
It'll be chic.
497
00:32:11,541 --> 00:32:17,375
♪ It's the most wonderful time
Of the year ♪
498
00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:19,875
♪ With the kids jingle belling... ♪
499
00:32:19,875 --> 00:32:22,208
I apologize about the restaurant.
500
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:26,208
The office flooded yesterday.
The place smells like a septic tank.
501
00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:29,791
Thank you.
502
00:32:29,791 --> 00:32:32,833
I hope you got the cheese basket
I sent you last week.
503
00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:33,750
I did.
504
00:32:34,666 --> 00:32:38,166
- My neighbor appreciated it immensely.
- Mm.
505
00:32:38,166 --> 00:32:40,500
I'd have kept it for myself
were it not for the Crohn's.
506
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,083
Hi. Can I get you anything?
507
00:32:42,083 --> 00:32:43,708
A tea. Green.
508
00:32:44,208 --> 00:32:45,791
Some water, thank you.
509
00:32:47,875 --> 00:32:50,958
Now, as we are aware,
510
00:32:50,958 --> 00:32:53,625
Oliver's publishing contract
was terminated
511
00:32:53,625 --> 00:32:56,041
when he became
unable to fulfil his obligation.
512
00:32:56,041 --> 00:32:57,666
- When he died.
- Mm.
513
00:32:57,666 --> 00:33:02,000
They've invoiced a substantial amount
to be reimbursed by the end of the year.
514
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:06,500
I thought it best to discuss strategy
to protect the estate.
515
00:33:07,125 --> 00:33:12,583
To that point, we did notice
some irregular spending on food delivery.
516
00:33:12,583 --> 00:33:13,833
That was me.
517
00:33:14,458 --> 00:33:15,833
Fascinating.
518
00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:22,125
I feel it advantageous to consider pruning
some of yours and Oliver's investments
519
00:33:22,708 --> 00:33:25,708
so as to best safeguard your savings
from here on out.
520
00:33:26,541 --> 00:33:27,625
Okay.
521
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:32,041
Now, the lease on pied-à-terre in Paris
522
00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:34,541
is up at the end of the month,
and I recommend--
523
00:33:34,541 --> 00:33:36,375
What pied-à-terre in Paris?
524
00:33:39,541 --> 00:33:43,750
Um, leased at the beginning of December
of last year.
525
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:45,541
I assumed you were aware
526
00:33:45,541 --> 00:33:49,375
as some of the charges
reflected spending for two.
527
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,958
- You are not that second person.
- No. I'm not.
528
00:34:00,666 --> 00:34:02,666
Did he tell you he had met someone else?
529
00:34:04,958 --> 00:34:08,166
I make it my business to know
as little about people as possible.
530
00:34:08,166 --> 00:34:12,291
What... What am I
supposed to say to... to my friends?
531
00:34:14,166 --> 00:34:18,458
They've wasted a year of their lives
trying to help me through this.
532
00:34:19,416 --> 00:34:23,166
I have lost a year of my life.
533
00:34:23,166 --> 00:34:25,208
This might not be the best venue
for you to--
534
00:34:25,208 --> 00:34:26,416
- I'm 38!
535
00:34:28,791 --> 00:34:30,625
Should be in the prime of my life.
536
00:34:35,458 --> 00:34:38,416
Would you be able to email me
all the information on Paris, please?
537
00:34:38,416 --> 00:34:39,333
I can do that.
538
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:41,208
I'm sorry.
539
00:34:42,083 --> 00:34:46,750
Sorry you had to...
witness all of this. Sorry.
540
00:34:48,666 --> 00:34:55,250
♪ ...of the year ♪
541
00:35:01,375 --> 00:35:02,666
- God.
542
00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:05,416
Oh, thank you. Sorry.
543
00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:08,958
Sorry, thanks.
544
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,083
What?
545
00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:26,208
Terrance wanted my stuff out.
546
00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:27,958
Are you okay?
547
00:35:27,958 --> 00:35:29,291
Hmm? Yeah.
548
00:35:29,291 --> 00:35:32,833
Just... I wanted out, you know,
and I'm out and good.
549
00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:35,375
Sorry, I don't know
what the fuck is going on.
550
00:35:36,166 --> 00:35:38,291
He just wasn't there
when I left, you know?
551
00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:41,791
To help with the bags.
He just wasn't there.
552
00:35:43,458 --> 00:35:46,166
Someone talk about something else,
please. Anything.
553
00:35:47,625 --> 00:35:48,666
Are you sure?
554
00:35:48,666 --> 00:35:51,375
Yes, Marc, please. Just go.
555
00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:52,291
Okay.
556
00:35:53,458 --> 00:35:57,833
Um, I wanted to thank you both
for this year.
557
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:04,458
So, I would like to take us to Paris
for the weekend, on Oliver.
558
00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:06,541
Spend his money recklessly.
559
00:36:06,541 --> 00:36:09,333
It's what he would be doing
if he were there right now.
560
00:36:10,250 --> 00:36:12,750
And I can't think
of a more appropriate way
561
00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:15,666
to mark the one-year anniversary.
562
00:36:15,666 --> 00:36:16,625
Yeah.
563
00:36:16,625 --> 00:36:18,625
- Mm.
- We all deserve some joy.
564
00:36:18,625 --> 00:36:22,166
Oh yes. I think this is a beautiful thing.
565
00:36:22,166 --> 00:36:26,208
I think this is a beautiful, soulful thing
you are offering us.
566
00:36:26,208 --> 00:36:29,458
Yes, thank you. Where are we staying?
567
00:36:31,250 --> 00:36:32,833
We actually have a place there.
568
00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:34,833
- What?
- What? Since when?
569
00:36:35,416 --> 00:36:37,041
Oliver got it last year.
570
00:36:38,166 --> 00:36:39,208
I plan on giving it up.
571
00:36:39,208 --> 00:36:43,125
What does it feel like to casually mention
you're giving up a place in Paris?
572
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:44,041
Sweet thing.
573
00:36:44,041 --> 00:36:47,333
He's still finding ways
to give us nice things.
574
00:36:51,583 --> 00:36:55,625
{\an8}♪ I'm all out of hope ♪
575
00:36:55,625 --> 00:36:58,625
{\an8}♪ One more bad dream ♪
576
00:36:58,625 --> 00:37:01,166
♪ Could bring a fall ♪
577
00:37:02,583 --> 00:37:06,750
♪ When I'm far from home ♪
578
00:37:06,750 --> 00:37:09,666
♪ Don't call me on the phone ♪
579
00:37:09,666 --> 00:37:12,500
♪ To tell me you're alone ♪
580
00:37:13,875 --> 00:37:17,916
♪ It's easy to deceive ♪
581
00:37:17,916 --> 00:37:20,708
♪ It's easy to tease ♪
582
00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:23,666
♪ But hard to get release ♪
583
00:37:29,333 --> 00:37:31,875
♪ Eyes without a face ♪
584
00:37:34,916 --> 00:37:37,000
♪ Eyes without a face ♪
585
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:43,291
♪ Eyes without a face ♪
586
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:45,958
♪ Got no human grace ♪
587
00:37:45,958 --> 00:37:49,708
♪ You're eyes without a face ♪
588
00:37:59,125 --> 00:38:00,500
- ♪ I spend so-- ♪
589
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:06,333
Jesus Christ.
590
00:38:10,791 --> 00:38:12,750
Uh, what?
591
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:19,000
Jesus, this place
has just been sitting here?
592
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,583
No, I get it.
593
00:38:22,666 --> 00:38:24,541
This is sexy.
594
00:38:25,666 --> 00:38:29,333
This is where people
come to do sex.
595
00:38:30,166 --> 00:38:34,500
Marc doesn't need to be reminded
of all the sex they probably had here.
596
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:36,208
I don't know. I think it's a bit much.
597
00:38:36,875 --> 00:38:40,291
- Like, what was he trying to prove?
- Um, that he has really beautiful taste.
598
00:38:40,291 --> 00:38:44,041
And he knows how to create
an intensely sensual vibe.
599
00:38:47,166 --> 00:38:49,000
Can you be in love with a couch?
600
00:40:09,416 --> 00:40:12,250
Sophie is taking
the guest bedroom
601
00:40:12,250 --> 00:40:17,250
and is demanding privacy
as a 35-year-old single woman.
602
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:20,083
Didn't she share a tent
with a bunch of strangers at Burning Man?
603
00:40:20,083 --> 00:40:23,500
Yeah, she wears logic
like one of those little handbags
604
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,375
that can't actually hold anything.
605
00:40:28,166 --> 00:40:29,791
- You okay?
- Yeah.
606
00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:33,875
Yes. Yes.
607
00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:41,166
It's nice.
608
00:40:53,750 --> 00:40:56,166
I got a date for tonight.
609
00:40:56,166 --> 00:40:57,083
What?
610
00:40:57,083 --> 00:40:59,791
Thomas, before you pass
any kind of judgment,
611
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:02,125
you're coming with, he's bringing gays.
612
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,333
- Bringing gays.
- Mm-hmm.
613
00:41:04,333 --> 00:41:06,375
Why do straight people
think their gay friends
614
00:41:06,375 --> 00:41:08,875
will automatically
want to sleep with each other?
615
00:41:08,875 --> 00:41:10,875
I set you two up,
and it worked, didn't it?
616
00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:13,375
Yeah, for a year, 15 years ago.
617
00:41:13,375 --> 00:41:16,583
His name is Sebastian,
he works in advertising, he's 6'1".
618
00:41:16,583 --> 00:41:18,875
He spends an awful lot of time
on expensive boats,
619
00:41:18,875 --> 00:41:20,583
according to his profile.
620
00:41:20,583 --> 00:41:22,791
I told him you'd pick the place
since you're paying.
621
00:41:22,791 --> 00:41:24,291
I'm not paying for that.
622
00:41:24,291 --> 00:41:25,208
Oh, Marcus.
623
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,333
I'd very much like for Sebastian
to forget his fucking name
624
00:41:29,333 --> 00:41:31,458
when he sees me tonight, okay?
625
00:41:31,458 --> 00:41:33,416
So I think we should
start making that happen.
626
00:41:34,041 --> 00:41:35,083
Like, now.
627
00:41:36,583 --> 00:41:37,500
ASAP.
628
00:41:38,083 --> 00:41:39,375
- Things took a turn.
- Yep.
629
00:41:41,208 --> 00:41:42,833
She also ashed on the counter.
630
00:41:43,416 --> 00:41:47,666
♪ Feel my heartbeat drumming to the beat ♪
631
00:41:47,666 --> 00:41:50,916
♪ Like a symphony ♪
632
00:41:51,458 --> 00:41:54,916
♪ Feel my heartbeat drumming to the beat ♪
633
00:41:54,916 --> 00:41:58,791
♪ Like a melody, come see ♪
634
00:41:58,791 --> 00:42:02,541
♪ Feel my heartbeat, feel my heartbeat ♪
635
00:42:02,541 --> 00:42:05,625
♪ Feel my heartbeat, come on ♪
636
00:42:06,416 --> 00:42:09,958
♪ Feel my heartbeat, feel my heartbeat ♪
637
00:42:09,958 --> 00:42:14,208
♪ Feel my heartbeat, come on, come see ♪
638
00:42:14,208 --> 00:42:17,833
♪ There was a time everybody was around ♪
639
00:42:17,833 --> 00:42:19,916
♪ And I was dancing with you ♪
640
00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:23,875
♪ Don't know your name ♪
641
00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:28,250
♪ Making me ashamed
To feel the way that I do ♪
642
00:42:29,250 --> 00:42:31,291
♪ The lights went out ♪
643
00:42:31,291 --> 00:42:35,041
♪ Couldn't leave without you
It's the place to be ♪
644
00:42:36,875 --> 00:42:38,875
♪ I won't forget ♪
645
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:43,500
♪ The greatest times I've had
When I was dancing with you ♪
646
00:42:45,958 --> 00:42:46,958
- Hi.
- Hi.
647
00:42:48,083 --> 00:42:51,125
Um, I would like to exchange this, please.
Thank you.
648
00:43:00,666 --> 00:43:02,583
This is for Oliver Alston?
649
00:43:03,541 --> 00:43:06,750
Yes. Oliver Alston bought this.
650
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:10,625
He spent a lot of money in this store.
Probably hit on you.
651
00:43:10,625 --> 00:43:12,416
Do you know what happened to him?
652
00:43:12,416 --> 00:43:13,333
It's so sad.
653
00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:16,041
He would bring us coffees
when he'd come to shop.
654
00:43:19,541 --> 00:43:22,000
You wouldn't happen to remember him
coming in here
655
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,375
with another man, would you?
656
00:43:29,666 --> 00:43:33,791
Um, there was a boy sometimes, younger.
657
00:43:33,791 --> 00:43:36,833
Younger than you.
Um, maybe a boyfriend, I don't know.
658
00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:39,125
Uh, are you his assistant?
659
00:43:40,666 --> 00:43:41,750
I'm his husband.
660
00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:48,166
And Oliver bought this for that boy,
uh, just before he died.
661
00:43:48,166 --> 00:43:51,208
Died in front of me,
and not the boyfriend.
662
00:43:51,208 --> 00:43:54,500
Now, I have friends upstairs that
would like to buy something in the store,
663
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:56,750
and I'd like to help pay for that
with this item.
664
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:59,375
So if you could please make an exception.
665
00:44:00,166 --> 00:44:03,583
Unless you'd like to watch me
slowly unravel in the store.
666
00:44:05,791 --> 00:44:07,875
Okay.
667
00:44:07,875 --> 00:44:08,916
Thank you.
668
00:44:11,041 --> 00:44:12,375
Too intellectual?
669
00:44:13,041 --> 00:44:16,666
Or just... intellectual enough?
670
00:44:16,666 --> 00:44:17,750
Nice balance.
671
00:44:18,541 --> 00:44:19,541
Smart dress.
672
00:44:20,208 --> 00:44:21,416
And there's you in it.
673
00:44:25,333 --> 00:44:30,083
One day, my love, a man is going to melt
that cold, cold heart of yours.
674
00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:34,625
He's just going to take
a hair dryer to it, I promise you.
675
00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:35,916
I love those glasses.
676
00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:39,458
And the scarf. Get them both. Why not?
677
00:44:57,625 --> 00:44:58,791
I loved that apartment.
678
00:44:58,791 --> 00:45:01,125
- You loved that flat?
- I loved that apartment.
679
00:45:01,875 --> 00:45:03,500
You two broke up five months in.
680
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:04,791
I know. Now look at us.
681
00:45:05,875 --> 00:45:08,166
I think about that apartment
a lot, actually.
682
00:45:08,166 --> 00:45:10,166
Do you think about the day we moved in?
683
00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:12,583
- Oh my God.
- What did you find again?
684
00:45:12,583 --> 00:45:15,041
- A homemade dildo behind the bed.
685
00:45:15,666 --> 00:45:18,458
- What was it again? A shampoo--
- Perfume bottle, yes.
686
00:45:18,458 --> 00:45:21,916
It was a perfume bottle that
someone had wrapped in a condom.
687
00:45:21,916 --> 00:45:24,250
In their defense,
those women had a reputation
688
00:45:24,250 --> 00:45:27,458
for being very messy
and forgetful prostitutes.
689
00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:28,541
Legends.
690
00:45:30,375 --> 00:45:32,500
Are you ever going to talk about Terrance?
691
00:45:34,666 --> 00:45:37,791
See, that's the problem.
Everyone wants to talk about Terrance.
692
00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:39,208
I want to talk about me.
693
00:45:39,208 --> 00:45:40,666
- Hmm.
- Okay.
694
00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:42,416
Let's talk about you.
695
00:45:42,416 --> 00:45:43,500
Thank you.
696
00:45:45,083 --> 00:45:46,750
Okay, well...
697
00:45:49,291 --> 00:45:51,708
I want to ride that thing at some point.
698
00:45:52,958 --> 00:45:55,166
And I want to have fun tonight.
699
00:45:56,958 --> 00:45:59,708
I want someone to look at me
like I'm fresh out the box.
700
00:45:59,708 --> 00:46:01,166
Is that too much to ask?
701
00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:02,583
No.
702
00:46:03,666 --> 00:46:04,708
You liked that flat?
703
00:46:04,708 --> 00:46:08,375
I remember one night
when Soph had gotten back from that bar
704
00:46:08,375 --> 00:46:10,333
that she worked at that one summer,
705
00:46:10,333 --> 00:46:12,625
- and you and I were in a good place...
- Mm.
706
00:46:13,125 --> 00:46:14,875
...and we'd won that Elton John CD
707
00:46:14,875 --> 00:46:17,000
- from the pub quiz across the street...
708
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,791
...and we put it on
and we opened all the windows,
709
00:46:19,791 --> 00:46:21,958
because that place was like a steam room,
710
00:46:22,833 --> 00:46:25,833
and we all laid on the bed
just hoping for a breeze.
711
00:46:27,291 --> 00:46:30,166
And there was a moment
when the bass from those guys downstairs
712
00:46:30,166 --> 00:46:33,916
remixed perfectly with
"This Train Don't Stop There Anymore."
713
00:46:33,916 --> 00:46:36,625
- You remember the weirdest shit.
- No, and we were all convinced
714
00:46:36,625 --> 00:46:39,458
that we were having
the same heat-induced hallucination.
715
00:46:40,166 --> 00:46:41,041
But we weren't.
716
00:46:41,041 --> 00:46:44,791
It was just a beautiful memory
in that apartment.
717
00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:51,750
Was that the night I spilled my red wine
718
00:46:51,750 --> 00:46:56,333
over those awful pointy shoes
you wore all the time, and you cried?
719
00:46:56,333 --> 00:46:58,375
- Fuck off.
720
00:47:08,958 --> 00:47:10,875
- How do I look?
721
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:12,708
Like you didn't pay for that dress.
722
00:47:13,916 --> 00:47:15,416
Oh, here he is.
723
00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:18,916
- Bonjour.
724
00:47:20,291 --> 00:47:22,041
That's all the French I know.
725
00:47:22,958 --> 00:47:25,166
These are my friends, Marc...
726
00:47:25,916 --> 00:47:27,541
- Bonjour.
- ...et Thomas.
727
00:47:27,541 --> 00:47:29,875
- Just Thomas. Thomas is fine.
728
00:47:29,875 --> 00:47:31,875
- This is Esme...
- Hi.
729
00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:33,625
- ...and Remi.
- Bonjour.
730
00:47:33,625 --> 00:47:35,250
Bonjour.
731
00:47:35,958 --> 00:47:36,958
Bonjour.
732
00:47:39,041 --> 00:47:41,125
- Oh.
733
00:47:41,125 --> 00:47:43,250
- So, what are we drinking?
- Wine.
734
00:47:43,750 --> 00:47:45,958
Mmm. Excusez-moi.
735
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,708
So how do you all know each other?
736
00:47:48,708 --> 00:47:50,000
We work together.
737
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,791
Um, I start yesterday.
738
00:47:53,541 --> 00:47:55,166
You've known these people for a day?
739
00:47:55,166 --> 00:47:58,333
Yes, but, um, Seb asked the office
who wanted to get laid tonight
740
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:01,000
and I thought, "Why not? It could be fun."
741
00:48:02,958 --> 00:48:04,958
- You want?
- Okay. Yeah.
742
00:48:06,333 --> 00:48:09,916
Oh. Okay. Mm-hmm. Mmm.
743
00:48:12,541 --> 00:48:14,458
Seb told me your husband is dead.
744
00:48:16,500 --> 00:48:18,708
Um... he is, yeah.
745
00:48:18,708 --> 00:48:19,833
That he was killed.
746
00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:21,750
Mmm.
747
00:48:22,250 --> 00:48:23,333
He was, yeah.
748
00:48:24,708 --> 00:48:26,083
Not, like, murdered though.
749
00:48:26,083 --> 00:48:28,375
- My uncle was murdered.
- Oh my God.
750
00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:29,791
He work in construction.
751
00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:33,333
And we later found out
he was mixed up in the mafia.
752
00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:35,291
Burned alive.
753
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:37,125
Wow.
754
00:48:37,791 --> 00:48:39,000
I'm... I'm sorry.
755
00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:41,291
Yeah.
756
00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,375
You must miss him.
757
00:48:48,583 --> 00:48:50,333
- It's complicated.
- Yeah.
758
00:48:51,666 --> 00:48:53,083
- Love is that way.
759
00:48:55,166 --> 00:48:56,916
Are you ready to order?
760
00:48:56,916 --> 00:48:59,000
Yes, I want meat.
761
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,583
I have a very strong point of view,
you know?
762
00:49:17,208 --> 00:49:20,125
And I will not apologize for that.
763
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:22,291
I can't keep working under people.
764
00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:26,583
I need to take charge of my life.
765
00:49:26,583 --> 00:49:27,666
What is she doing?
766
00:49:27,666 --> 00:49:30,375
You need to do
what makes you feel good inside.
767
00:49:30,375 --> 00:49:32,583
- Exactly.
- And only you know.
768
00:49:34,125 --> 00:49:35,833
Only I know.
769
00:49:35,833 --> 00:49:36,791
Okay. All right.
770
00:49:36,791 --> 00:49:38,458
In theory, okay,
771
00:49:38,458 --> 00:49:42,333
but I thought I'd have my own gallery
by now. That's also life.
772
00:49:42,333 --> 00:49:45,583
Sometimes you do things you don't wanna do
to get to where you want to go.
773
00:49:45,583 --> 00:49:48,416
No, no. You don't get it.
You don't get it. Mm-mm.
774
00:49:48,416 --> 00:49:52,166
Does he not get it,
or are you not willing to hear him?
775
00:49:52,166 --> 00:49:54,250
Says the boy who worked for his husband.
776
00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:01,166
Okay, I will not feel bad
about working with my husband.
777
00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:05,625
Lily fucking Kayne would not have a career
778
00:50:05,625 --> 00:50:07,666
if it weren't for my illustrations, so...
779
00:50:07,666 --> 00:50:12,666
Babes, babes, babes,
I would kill for what you have.
780
00:50:12,666 --> 00:50:13,916
Own it.
781
00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:30,000
Who ordered these?
782
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,500
You did.
783
00:50:32,208 --> 00:50:33,875
- Send them over.
- That's just what you need.
784
00:50:33,875 --> 00:50:34,958
Okay.
785
00:50:36,083 --> 00:50:40,083
To doing what makes you feel good inside.
786
00:50:49,875 --> 00:50:53,291
You're going to find out
what a good singer I am.
787
00:50:53,291 --> 00:50:55,000
I can't wait to see that.
788
00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:56,791
Fabulous.
789
00:50:56,791 --> 00:50:58,375
- Are you?
- Mm-hmm.
790
00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:23,708
♪ Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better ♪
791
00:51:24,291 --> 00:51:26,166
♪ We belong ♪
792
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,333
♪ We belong, we belong together ♪
793
00:51:32,041 --> 00:51:32,875
Uh-oh.
794
00:51:32,875 --> 00:51:38,583
- ♪ I, I don't want to say ♪
795
00:51:39,541 --> 00:51:43,875
♪ I don't want to fight another day ♪
796
00:51:43,875 --> 00:51:47,916
♪ Make it through the day without you ♪
797
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,166
♪ Without you ♪
798
00:51:50,166 --> 00:51:51,416
Well, it's 2:00 a.m.,
799
00:51:51,416 --> 00:51:55,125
which means that my husband
officially died a year ago today.
800
00:51:56,125 --> 00:51:59,291
For such a meticulous person,
he left behind one hell of a mess.
801
00:52:03,208 --> 00:52:04,375
This is for him.
802
00:52:06,208 --> 00:52:08,291
- And for you.
803
00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:09,375
And her.
804
00:52:11,250 --> 00:52:17,541
♪ You may not believe it
But I don't believe in miracles anymore ♪
805
00:52:20,833 --> 00:52:26,291
♪ And when I think about it
I don't believe I ever did for sure ♪
806
00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:36,333
♪ All the things I've said in songs
All the purple prose you bought from me ♪
807
00:52:39,666 --> 00:52:44,125
♪ Reality's just black and white
The sentimental things I'd write ♪
808
00:52:44,125 --> 00:52:46,750
♪ Never meant that much to me ♪
809
00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:52,041
♪ I used to be the main express ♪
810
00:52:53,166 --> 00:52:56,791
♪ All steam and whistles
Heading west ♪
811
00:52:58,250 --> 00:53:02,583
♪ Picking up my pain from door to door ♪
812
00:53:03,375 --> 00:53:05,625
♪ Riding on the storyline ♪
813
00:53:05,625 --> 00:53:07,708
♪ Furnace burning overtime ♪
814
00:53:07,708 --> 00:53:10,875
- ♪ But this train... ♪
- ♪ But this train don't stop ♪
815
00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:15,541
♪ This train don't stop ♪
816
00:53:17,333 --> 00:53:22,250
♪ This train don't stop there anymore ♪
817
00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:23,541
♪ Anymore ♪
818
00:53:39,375 --> 00:53:41,291
- Your tongue is blue.
819
00:53:42,875 --> 00:53:44,041
The drinks were blue.
820
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:49,083
And I'm only just realizing how this
must look to someone I've only met once.
821
00:53:50,291 --> 00:53:51,708
I'm not normally like this.
822
00:53:52,416 --> 00:53:55,625
Besides shoving your blue tongue
down my throat...
823
00:53:56,916 --> 00:53:59,958
- ...and knocking my head against the wall...
- Mm-hmm.
824
00:53:59,958 --> 00:54:01,125
...you're not that bad.
825
00:54:01,875 --> 00:54:03,291
I don't know what that was.
826
00:54:04,208 --> 00:54:07,000
It felt sexy.
It felt like a sexy thing to do.
827
00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:11,625
Would you like
to give your tongue some air?
828
00:54:13,791 --> 00:54:14,625
Yeah.
829
00:54:14,625 --> 00:54:15,666
Give me a second.
830
00:54:20,833 --> 00:54:22,833
- Mmm.
831
00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:24,083
You all right?
832
00:54:24,875 --> 00:54:26,208
No.
833
00:54:27,250 --> 00:54:28,500
- Hey.
- Yeah?
834
00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:29,625
Where are you going?
835
00:54:29,625 --> 00:54:32,208
- I'm gonna go for a walk.
- No, sit down.
836
00:54:32,208 --> 00:54:33,916
No. I'll be right back.
837
00:54:33,916 --> 00:54:35,541
I'll be right back. Have fun.
838
00:54:40,541 --> 00:54:41,375
Come on.
839
00:54:51,333 --> 00:54:53,125
I thought I wouldn't hear from you.
840
00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:56,000
I also thought that.
841
00:54:57,333 --> 00:54:58,416
But things change.
842
00:54:58,416 --> 00:54:59,833
- Oh, wow.
- Hmm.
843
00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:02,083
- What changed for you?
- A lot.
844
00:55:05,833 --> 00:55:07,833
I guess I felt... lonely.
845
00:55:10,416 --> 00:55:13,125
I don't know if that's a rude thing
to say to you.
846
00:55:13,125 --> 00:55:14,208
Why is it rude?
847
00:55:15,041 --> 00:55:18,291
Well, I feel like I might take offense...
to that.
848
00:55:18,291 --> 00:55:21,458
I-- Like, the only reason
someone wanted to get in touch
849
00:55:21,458 --> 00:55:24,166
was because they felt alone
and wanted company.
850
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:27,625
Like the reason
for getting in touch wasn't...
851
00:55:29,166 --> 00:55:31,833
romantic enough, it's practical.
852
00:55:32,333 --> 00:55:33,750
And what's wrong with that?
853
00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:38,166
You were lonely, you thought of me.
I think that's kind of romantic.
854
00:55:39,041 --> 00:55:40,916
These days, everybody needs a parade
855
00:55:40,916 --> 00:55:43,416
to show how much they care
about each other.
856
00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:48,416
Well, a lot of people are insecure.
857
00:55:50,041 --> 00:55:52,000
Like, you're not very confident
858
00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:56,083
without being arrogant,
which is a very hard thing to pull off.
859
00:55:57,083 --> 00:55:59,708
I think arrogant people
have something to prove.
860
00:56:01,666 --> 00:56:04,166
Don't we all have something
to prove to somebody?
861
00:56:04,166 --> 00:56:07,666
Yeah, sure.
I'd just rather be upfront about it.
862
00:56:10,875 --> 00:56:14,375
I think a lot of people would like
to be upfront about a lot of things.
863
00:56:15,458 --> 00:56:19,333
But honesty doesn't just
spill out of a lot of people.
864
00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:21,166
It should.
865
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:27,500
Merci.
866
00:56:27,500 --> 00:56:30,166
They haven't changed
the recipe in 65 years.
867
00:56:30,166 --> 00:56:31,375
- Mmm.
- Hmm.
868
00:56:31,375 --> 00:56:33,041
How are you feeling now?
869
00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,125
I'm all right.
870
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,083
If the waiter came by and asked you
what you thought about the soup
871
00:56:38,083 --> 00:56:39,750
and you said, "All right..."
872
00:56:40,833 --> 00:56:42,416
...they would ask us to leave.
873
00:56:44,583 --> 00:56:46,458
No, they would probably be asking us
874
00:56:46,458 --> 00:56:48,875
why we're eating French onion soup
on a date.
875
00:56:48,875 --> 00:56:50,708
Is this a date?
876
00:56:51,708 --> 00:56:53,291
I don't know, you tell me.
877
00:56:54,625 --> 00:56:56,833
You seem like a very transparent person.
878
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,333
What does it mean?
879
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:00,583
That you don't look like you lie a lot.
880
00:57:01,375 --> 00:57:03,916
I don't know. I try not to lie.
881
00:57:05,708 --> 00:57:06,583
Hm.
882
00:57:13,208 --> 00:57:15,208
I've been lying for a long time.
883
00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:18,625
To a lot of people.
884
00:57:19,458 --> 00:57:23,125
And it feels really heavy.
885
00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:29,500
Like I'm... swimming with my clothes on
and I can't take them off.
886
00:57:38,750 --> 00:57:42,375
I stopped liking my job,
but I keep working because it pays well.
887
00:57:43,666 --> 00:57:45,750
And that makes me feel sick.
888
00:57:46,416 --> 00:57:48,500
- Hmm.
- But not sick enough to quit.
889
00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:52,000
Which makes me feel even more sick.
890
00:57:54,958 --> 00:57:56,708
- You should quit your job.
- Yes.
891
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:00,416
What are you doing?
892
00:58:00,416 --> 00:58:03,583
- I'm trying to take your clothes off.
893
00:58:04,083 --> 00:58:06,333
I just told you something truthful.
894
00:58:07,958 --> 00:58:11,166
Now, it's your turn
to tell me something that's not a lie.
895
00:58:11,833 --> 00:58:13,083
I'll try not to judge.
896
00:58:29,166 --> 00:58:33,416
I feel like I abandoned my mom
when I met my husband.
897
00:58:35,333 --> 00:58:40,916
Like I chose a distraction over
sitting alone with her death or something.
898
00:58:42,416 --> 00:58:44,041
Didn't take the time to grieve...
899
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:46,333
or...
900
00:58:48,375 --> 00:58:50,375
live with the reality that she's gone.
901
00:58:51,666 --> 00:58:52,666
I didn't do that.
902
00:58:54,208 --> 00:58:55,208
I opted out.
903
00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:56,958
Hmm.
904
00:58:58,125 --> 00:59:01,958
Stopped painting. I avoided things
that would remind me of her, even though...
905
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:06,666
all I want is to be reminded of her.
906
00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:15,250
And I can feel myself
doing the same thing with Oliver.
907
00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:24,500
I agreed to an open marriage...
908
00:59:25,583 --> 00:59:28,125
out of fear, not trust.
909
00:59:29,916 --> 00:59:31,125
He asked,
910
00:59:32,375 --> 00:59:35,375
and the idea of giving him
a reason to leave
911
00:59:35,375 --> 00:59:38,375
felt scarier than keeping him happy,
912
00:59:38,375 --> 00:59:39,750
so that's what I did.
913
00:59:41,458 --> 00:59:44,708
There were rules.
Work trips, one and done.
914
00:59:45,625 --> 00:59:47,625
-"I don't want to hear about it."
915
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:51,875
But he broke those rules.
916
00:59:54,458 --> 00:59:55,291
And I can...
917
00:59:56,791 --> 01:00:00,541
I can feel myself choosing anger...
918
01:00:04,291 --> 01:00:10,416
to distract from...
from how much I miss him.
919
01:00:15,666 --> 01:00:18,000
All I want is to be able
to have that fight with him.
920
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,916
- You should start painting again. I think.
921
01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:23,083
I've also been told I overstep.
922
01:00:23,083 --> 01:00:24,000
Mm.
923
01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:26,458
This is a terrible game.
924
01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:34,083
- It's a shame your city's so ugly.
- I know.
925
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:36,583
- Yeah. It's a real problem.
- I know. Yeah.
926
01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:38,833
- I should move.
927
01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:44,083
What are we doing?
928
01:00:45,750 --> 01:00:47,416
- Surprise.
929
01:00:51,625 --> 01:00:53,208
- Just wait.
- Okay.
930
01:01:15,666 --> 01:01:16,583
Merci.
931
01:01:16,583 --> 01:01:18,208
Have you ever been here?
932
01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:21,166
No, I have not.
I've always wanted to, but...
933
01:01:21,666 --> 01:01:22,791
Merci.
934
01:01:42,250 --> 01:01:44,875
Monet lost two wives and his son,
935
01:01:45,750 --> 01:01:48,166
and was losing his sight
when he painted these.
936
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,875
We are standing in a house of loss.
937
01:01:58,541 --> 01:01:59,458
Wow.
938
01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:02,166
- He wins.
939
01:02:03,916 --> 01:02:06,916
This is how someone chose to remember
the things he loved.
940
01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,125
- It's quite special, no?
- Hmm.
941
01:02:11,833 --> 01:02:13,083
It's amazing.
942
01:02:20,125 --> 01:02:21,750
Imagine being able to do this.
943
01:02:23,125 --> 01:02:24,125
You can do this.
944
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,875
I... No, I can't do this.
945
01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:32,000
No, you can't do this,
because this has already been done.
946
01:02:33,125 --> 01:02:34,208
Pretty successfully.
947
01:02:37,291 --> 01:02:38,708
But you can do something.
948
01:02:52,083 --> 01:02:53,291
You're very nice to me.
949
01:02:54,458 --> 01:02:55,666
It's intentional.
950
01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:10,000
I'm sorry about your husband.
951
01:03:10,666 --> 01:03:11,500
And your mom.
952
01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:47,666
Hello?
953
01:03:57,416 --> 01:03:58,250
Hello?
954
01:04:28,958 --> 01:04:31,166
- Where were you?
- Where were you?
955
01:04:31,166 --> 01:04:33,333
Relax, would you, Thomas?
956
01:04:34,416 --> 01:04:35,750
Where did you go?
957
01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:39,708
I went for a walk. Why? What's going on?
958
01:04:40,375 --> 01:04:41,500
A long walk.
959
01:04:43,041 --> 01:04:46,125
Yeah, it was a long walk.
What's the problem?
960
01:04:46,125 --> 01:04:48,416
I had to pay for everyone's bill
at karaoke.
961
01:04:49,958 --> 01:04:52,666
Okay, I'll obviously pay you back
for the karaoke bill.
962
01:04:52,666 --> 01:04:55,166
That's not the point.
I mean, it is, and yes, you will.
963
01:04:55,166 --> 01:04:57,791
You said you'd come back.
You didn't come back.
964
01:04:57,791 --> 01:04:59,875
Sophie couldn't talk
by the end of the night.
965
01:04:59,875 --> 01:05:01,875
- And?
966
01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:04,333
And while I was paying 1,500 euro
for everyone's bill,
967
01:05:04,333 --> 01:05:07,000
she fucking left, never picked up
her phone again rest of the night.
968
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:08,666
I told you, I left it at the bar.
969
01:05:08,666 --> 01:05:10,875
Okay, I'm...
I don't get where this is going.
970
01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:13,083
She leaves with a guy none of us know.
971
01:05:14,666 --> 01:05:15,541
You were gone.
972
01:05:15,541 --> 01:05:18,000
Sure, maybe I'd taken a pill,
maybe I was a bit drunk,
973
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:19,958
but when I don't hear back
from our best friend
974
01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:21,875
after something like that,
I'm gonna get scared.
975
01:05:21,875 --> 01:05:24,291
Okay, okay. Makes sense.
976
01:05:24,916 --> 01:05:26,791
But you could have taken home
that little thing
977
01:05:26,791 --> 01:05:29,125
and had this entire place to yourself.
978
01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:32,375
- Clearly, we were fine.
- Were we?
979
01:05:33,291 --> 01:05:36,000
Soph, do you want to tell him
where you ended up last night?
980
01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:37,500
Hello?
981
01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:43,291
Thomas, I'm sorry, okay?
I appreciate you. Can we just move on?
982
01:05:43,291 --> 01:05:44,916
Soph was picked up by the police.
983
01:05:44,916 --> 01:05:50,333
She was found sleeping near a bus shelter,
half an hour outside the city.
984
01:05:51,041 --> 01:05:54,208
So, while you were napping,
I was with her dealing with that.
985
01:05:59,041 --> 01:05:59,875
Are you okay?
986
01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:04,500
Yes.
987
01:06:07,208 --> 01:06:08,958
I'm here, aren't I?
988
01:06:08,958 --> 01:06:11,958
I honestly don't know when I became
the only friend on this fucking trip.
989
01:06:11,958 --> 01:06:14,375
- Okay, okay.
- Jesus.
990
01:06:15,541 --> 01:06:18,375
Thomas, I am sorry
that you had to go through that.
991
01:06:21,041 --> 01:06:22,625
Are you still on the drugs?
992
01:06:25,333 --> 01:06:26,583
I'm... I'm just trying--
993
01:06:26,583 --> 01:06:29,583
How is it your husband dying has only
made you even more of a spoiled brat?
994
01:06:38,916 --> 01:06:40,000
Hello?
995
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:41,833
I'm... I'm sorry.
996
01:06:43,791 --> 01:06:45,541
I think I have the wrong apartment.
997
01:06:45,541 --> 01:06:48,166
Then how did your key
let you into this one?
998
01:06:50,958 --> 01:06:53,500
I'm sorry, I didn't think
anyone would be here.
999
01:06:53,500 --> 01:06:55,666
What the fuck is going on?
Who are you?
1000
01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:57,750
I'm Luca.
1001
01:07:05,375 --> 01:07:07,208
Do you wanna tell them,
or would you like me to?
1002
01:07:11,250 --> 01:07:13,583
Oliver met someone else.
1003
01:07:13,583 --> 01:07:15,500
- What do you mean?
- That's what this is.
1004
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:17,291
Hold on, hold on.
1005
01:07:17,291 --> 01:07:20,041
Oliver gave this kid
the keys to your apartment.
1006
01:07:20,041 --> 01:07:22,666
- I didn't know you.
- It's not our apartment.
1007
01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:26,208
It's Oliver's apartment.
1008
01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:28,833
And yours, presumably?
1009
01:07:28,833 --> 01:07:30,125
No.
1010
01:07:30,958 --> 01:07:33,500
I only found out about all of this
very recently,
1011
01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:35,041
and if I'm being honest,
1012
01:07:35,916 --> 01:07:37,916
it was just all too pathetic.
1013
01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:42,750
But I needed to see this place
before I gave it up, and I...
1014
01:07:43,791 --> 01:07:45,666
I wanted to do something nice
for you both--
1015
01:07:45,666 --> 01:07:47,500
It's the lying that's pathetic, Marc.
1016
01:07:47,500 --> 01:07:48,958
- Thomas.
- I shouldn't be here.
1017
01:07:48,958 --> 01:07:50,625
I'm in the middle of something.
1018
01:07:50,625 --> 01:07:53,083
Is there anything you can do on your own?
1019
01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:57,458
You have to drag us out here
to, what, keep you company
1020
01:07:57,458 --> 01:07:59,708
while you scope out
your husband's double life?
1021
01:07:59,708 --> 01:08:01,416
I opened Oliver's Christmas card.
1022
01:08:01,916 --> 01:08:06,166
He told me he had met someone else.
I fell apart. I made a bad call.
1023
01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:07,375
Hmm.
1024
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:10,250
I do want to spend time with you.
This was never supposed to be--
1025
01:08:10,250 --> 01:08:12,625
- It wasn't like that.
- He wrote that in the card to you?
1026
01:08:12,625 --> 01:08:15,833
You pretended like you'd been here before.
1027
01:08:15,833 --> 01:08:18,541
Thomas, it's like an ache right here.
1028
01:08:18,541 --> 01:08:19,458
What is?
1029
01:08:20,041 --> 01:08:20,916
Loss.
1030
01:08:22,541 --> 01:08:27,208
It's like a little ulcer right here
that never goes away.
1031
01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:31,250
And you somehow figure out ways
1032
01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:34,833
to take your mind off it enough
to not feel it as much.
1033
01:08:35,625 --> 01:08:37,791
But yeah, sometimes you lose sight
1034
01:08:37,791 --> 01:08:41,375
of what's going on around you
because you just...
1035
01:08:41,375 --> 01:08:44,833
You just want to be able
to breathe the way you did before.
1036
01:08:48,541 --> 01:08:51,208
So... yeah, I messed up.
1037
01:08:53,208 --> 01:08:57,875
And I'm sorry for being a spoiled brat.
I'm just trying to figure out
1038
01:08:57,875 --> 01:09:01,916
how to live with the reality
that my husband died...
1039
01:09:03,958 --> 01:09:05,041
leaving me...
1040
01:09:07,125 --> 01:09:09,333
to get back to this. This.
1041
01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:19,625
I'm sorry...
1042
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:23,291
you're having to deal with that,
but I'm allowed to feel things too.
1043
01:09:24,125 --> 01:09:25,250
I think you should go.
1044
01:09:34,750 --> 01:09:36,666
I don't have anywhere to go tonight.
1045
01:09:37,916 --> 01:09:40,750
Can I at least stay here
until I figure out where to go?
1046
01:09:40,750 --> 01:09:42,750
- I can wait in the bathroom.
1047
01:09:42,750 --> 01:09:44,791
Oh my God, he's not hiding
in the fucking bathroom.
1048
01:09:44,791 --> 01:09:46,416
I'm sorry, don't you live here?
1049
01:09:46,416 --> 01:09:47,375
I live in Berlin.
1050
01:09:47,375 --> 01:09:51,291
Then how did you meet my husband?
If there is another apartment in Berlin--
1051
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:53,708
I live in Berlin,
but I dance a lot in Paris.
1052
01:09:53,708 --> 01:09:55,833
I won Oliver's art scholarship.
1053
01:09:56,750 --> 01:09:58,791
I was performing in Paris
last year,
1054
01:09:58,791 --> 01:10:02,250
and Oliver came backstage after the show
to introduce himself.
1055
01:10:02,250 --> 01:10:03,250
Yeah, I'm sure he did.
1056
01:10:03,250 --> 01:10:06,000
We kept in touch, and then we just...
1057
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:09,000
- Where are you gonna go?
- He can't stay here.
1058
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,250
- He's got nowhere else to go.
- I know that.
1059
01:10:11,250 --> 01:10:14,250
I am not the bad person in this situation.
1060
01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:16,625
And what, is he supposed
to stay here with us?
1061
01:10:37,416 --> 01:10:38,750
Can I help?
1062
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:39,666
No.
1063
01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:43,666
Can you not do that inside, please?
1064
01:10:43,666 --> 01:10:47,500
Sorry, but the atmosphere in this room
is strangling me.
1065
01:10:48,083 --> 01:10:50,458
- Can I have a drag?
- Take it.
1066
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:54,250
It's okay?
1067
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:57,916
A cigarette at dinner?
I didn't know I'd woken up in 1988.
1068
01:10:59,833 --> 01:11:00,833
Yeah.
1069
01:11:28,458 --> 01:11:32,000
I'm sorry, I...
I don't even know what this is.
1070
01:11:36,583 --> 01:11:38,708
I'm sorry, everybody. I've messed up.
1071
01:11:40,125 --> 01:11:41,916
Should someone say something
before we eat?
1072
01:11:41,916 --> 01:11:45,708
Thomas, I really don't think the Lord
should be allowed anywhere near this food.
1073
01:11:46,458 --> 01:11:48,291
I think he was talking about Oliver.
1074
01:11:49,708 --> 01:11:50,791
Right. Sorry.
1075
01:11:55,750 --> 01:11:56,750
I'm sorry.
1076
01:12:02,708 --> 01:12:03,583
I'm sorry.
1077
01:12:08,208 --> 01:12:09,541
It's fine.
1078
01:12:09,541 --> 01:12:11,125
Marc, fuck.
1079
01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:14,916
Can you just let it
not be fine for me, please?
1080
01:12:18,291 --> 01:12:19,708
Just let it not be fine.
1081
01:12:24,166 --> 01:12:27,083
Let me apologize for fucking up tonight.
1082
01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:32,000
Because if I don't, we'll just
move past it like we always do.
1083
01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:43,958
Thomas, I'm sorry about last night.
1084
01:12:46,583 --> 01:12:49,208
And I'm sorry
for brushing off your feelings.
1085
01:12:52,416 --> 01:12:55,166
And I'm really sorry I scared you.
1086
01:13:03,458 --> 01:13:07,625
I don't know you,
but I'm sorry you have to listen to this.
1087
01:13:11,583 --> 01:13:12,916
Oh, Marc, I'm sorry.
1088
01:13:15,875 --> 01:13:18,041
We should be out dancing right now.
1089
01:13:19,291 --> 01:13:20,958
That's what he would have wanted.
1090
01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:26,083
And I know he did some shady shit to you,
1091
01:13:26,958 --> 01:13:30,750
but you have to know that
Oliver loved you so hard.
1092
01:13:35,708 --> 01:13:36,708
For so long.
1093
01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:47,416
And I'm sorry he's not here anymore.
1094
01:13:58,208 --> 01:13:59,458
And I miss him.
1095
01:14:07,333 --> 01:14:08,625
Fuck it.
1096
01:14:24,208 --> 01:14:25,791
He expected more from us.
1097
01:14:36,500 --> 01:14:38,166
To the fucking pain.
1098
01:14:46,458 --> 01:14:48,333
And you. Come on.
1099
01:14:49,208 --> 01:14:52,541
♪ ...and on your own ♪
1100
01:14:53,083 --> 01:14:59,250
♪ How did it feel to be alone? ♪
1101
01:15:01,208 --> 01:15:05,250
♪ I was always thinking of games ♪
1102
01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:06,708
♪ That I was playing... ♪
1103
01:15:07,958 --> 01:15:08,958
Terrance left me.
1104
01:15:14,083 --> 01:15:15,333
And I deserved it.
1105
01:15:18,666 --> 01:15:23,916
- ♪ Try to be sure right from the start ♪
-
1106
01:15:23,916 --> 01:15:25,333
I need some air.
1107
01:15:25,333 --> 01:15:31,583
♪ Yes, only love can break your heart ♪
1108
01:15:31,583 --> 01:15:37,833
♪ What if your world should fall apart? ♪
1109
01:15:50,875 --> 01:15:54,125
Okay, we're on the Ferris wheel.
Can you tell us what's going on?
1110
01:15:54,125 --> 01:15:56,875
- Jesus, Thomas, you're intense.
1111
01:16:00,625 --> 01:16:03,625
Terrance got tired of waiting for me
to wake the fuck up.
1112
01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:06,458
And I don't blame him.
1113
01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:09,166
I'm a lot.
1114
01:16:14,458 --> 01:16:17,708
All this time,
I thought Terrance was too safe for me.
1115
01:16:19,958 --> 01:16:21,541
But he wasn't safe.
1116
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:25,208
He was safety.
1117
01:16:27,291 --> 01:16:29,458
And that's the part I wasn't getting.
1118
01:16:34,166 --> 01:16:35,250
Because I'm a lot.
1119
01:16:39,916 --> 01:16:43,333
I'm a 35-year-old woman
who had a good man who loved her,
1120
01:16:43,333 --> 01:16:46,208
and I chose a bus stop.
1121
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,750
If it makes you feel better, I don't think
anyone actually has their shit together.
1122
01:16:55,750 --> 01:16:58,041
Okay. That's where I disagree.
1123
01:16:58,708 --> 01:17:00,375
I think people
can have their shit together
1124
01:17:00,375 --> 01:17:03,000
and live lives that aren't a total mess.
1125
01:17:04,625 --> 01:17:07,458
And be kind to people,
and be generous to people,
1126
01:17:07,458 --> 01:17:09,208
and want good things for people.
1127
01:17:09,208 --> 01:17:10,708
So, no, I think that's a cop-out.
1128
01:17:10,708 --> 01:17:13,583
It's keeping you both from realizing
your behavior has hurt people.
1129
01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:15,083
See, when I asked for the truth--
1130
01:17:15,083 --> 01:17:17,458
Okay, is this because
I left early last night?
1131
01:17:17,458 --> 01:17:19,458
No, it's a bigger-picture thing.
1132
01:17:19,458 --> 01:17:21,541
Well, what is the bigger picture?
1133
01:17:23,375 --> 01:17:24,208
It...
1134
01:17:26,791 --> 01:17:28,625
What's the bigger picture, Thomas?
1135
01:17:30,416 --> 01:17:33,166
There isn't a bigger picture, okay?
Can we get off this thing?
1136
01:17:33,166 --> 01:17:37,083
Why is it that you only get this on edge
when he's let you down?
1137
01:17:38,166 --> 01:17:40,291
Why is it only him?
1138
01:17:46,250 --> 01:17:49,916
People feel things
that are inconvenient, Thomas.
1139
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:52,208
It happens.
1140
01:17:55,708 --> 01:17:56,958
It sucks, but it happens.
1141
01:17:59,416 --> 01:18:00,416
That's okay.
1142
01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:06,250
It's never me.
1143
01:18:10,833 --> 01:18:12,166
And I don't know why.
1144
01:18:15,916 --> 01:18:18,458
Not just with you, it's just never me.
1145
01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:22,583
I'm never the one.
1146
01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:27,750
It's like people can smell it on me.
1147
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,333
It could be so easy for us, you know.
1148
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:40,000
I know.
1149
01:18:41,416 --> 01:18:42,250
I know.
1150
01:18:42,916 --> 01:18:43,958
But it wasn't.
1151
01:18:45,458 --> 01:18:46,833
And that's not on you.
1152
01:18:47,875 --> 01:18:48,708
It's on us.
1153
01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:57,708
I think I just need to go home,
and we should lay low for a bit.
1154
01:18:57,708 --> 01:18:59,083
- What?
- I don't want it
1155
01:18:59,083 --> 01:19:01,583
to be a big dramatic thing
on a Ferris wheel in Paris.
1156
01:19:04,250 --> 01:19:07,041
You're right,
people don't have their shit together.
1157
01:19:07,958 --> 01:19:09,708
But I think, for our sake...
1158
01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:13,750
we have to try harder.
1159
01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:29,250
No, no.
1160
01:19:29,250 --> 01:19:32,000
- No, no, no.
- Round we go again!
1161
01:19:32,875 --> 01:19:34,291
- We're going again.
- No.
1162
01:19:34,291 --> 01:19:36,166
Maybe he's putting us through.
1163
01:19:39,375 --> 01:19:40,583
Fucking hell.
1164
01:19:45,750 --> 01:19:48,000
So what time
are you planning on heading back?
1165
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:50,666
There's trains every hour,
so whenever I can.
1166
01:19:50,666 --> 01:19:51,750
I'll come with you.
1167
01:19:53,041 --> 01:19:56,041
Got some stuff to do at home.
Unless you want me to stay?
1168
01:19:56,041 --> 01:19:58,375
No, no, it's fine.
Do what you need to do.
1169
01:20:05,583 --> 01:20:07,291
I think I'm going to take this.
1170
01:20:07,291 --> 01:20:08,208
Okay.
1171
01:20:11,666 --> 01:20:12,833
See you back in London.
1172
01:20:12,833 --> 01:20:14,833
- I'll text you when we get home.
- Okay.
1173
01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:26,250
I love you.
1174
01:20:41,833 --> 01:20:42,833
À plus tard.
1175
01:20:43,500 --> 01:20:46,625
Sebastian taught me that last night
when I left his house crying.
1176
01:20:48,583 --> 01:20:52,875
Get one last look
at this hot fucking mess, my friends.
1177
01:20:52,875 --> 01:20:55,458
She has served us well.
1178
01:21:21,875 --> 01:21:22,875
- Hi.
- Hi.
1179
01:21:23,416 --> 01:21:24,666
- Come in.
- Okay.
1180
01:21:26,583 --> 01:21:27,958
Should I take my shoes off?
1181
01:21:27,958 --> 01:21:29,041
- No.
- Okay.
1182
01:21:31,791 --> 01:21:32,916
Mm.
1183
01:21:32,916 --> 01:21:34,250
- So...
1184
01:21:38,666 --> 01:21:39,583
Well...
1185
01:21:43,958 --> 01:21:46,875
Everything came out,
and my friends are going home.
1186
01:21:49,125 --> 01:21:50,375
It went over well?
1187
01:21:51,083 --> 01:21:53,833
Really, really well. Yeah.
1188
01:21:55,500 --> 01:21:56,708
I'm sorry to hear.
1189
01:21:58,958 --> 01:22:00,750
I think it was an inevitability.
1190
01:22:03,750 --> 01:22:05,500
It's a lot of love,
1191
01:22:06,625 --> 01:22:08,166
and misplaced sadness.
1192
01:22:09,375 --> 01:22:11,250
You just described half of Paris.
1193
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:47,083
Hi.
1194
01:22:49,208 --> 01:22:50,083
Hi.
1195
01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:55,916
He got you a Christmas present.
1196
01:22:59,541 --> 01:23:00,541
I took it back.
1197
01:23:16,541 --> 01:23:17,541
I'm sorry.
1198
01:23:19,625 --> 01:23:21,041
He loved you very much.
1199
01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:24,375
I don't even know what we were doing.
1200
01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:27,291
He didn't want to leave you.
1201
01:23:27,791 --> 01:23:28,625
Mm.
1202
01:23:28,625 --> 01:23:31,083
He didn't want to leave his marriage.
1203
01:23:31,083 --> 01:23:34,000
He was planning on talking to you
about this, we were just--
1204
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:35,750
Our marriage.
1205
01:23:36,541 --> 01:23:38,791
Yes, I'm sorry.
1206
01:23:38,791 --> 01:23:40,833
I knew it wasn't worth all this.
1207
01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:44,625
You know...
1208
01:23:46,208 --> 01:23:49,250
I had never met anyone
who was so curious about me.
1209
01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:53,208
He was curious about everyone.
And everything.
1210
01:23:54,750 --> 01:23:57,875
That's why being the one
to hold his curiosity felt so good.
1211
01:23:59,333 --> 01:24:00,416
I miss that.
1212
01:24:01,875 --> 01:24:02,708
A lot.
1213
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,208
- So have you been staying here, or--
- No.
1214
01:24:10,458 --> 01:24:13,541
No, he had only just gotten it.
For work, I think.
1215
01:24:15,166 --> 01:24:17,166
And it wasn't like that.
1216
01:24:28,541 --> 01:24:32,208
I don't blame you
for feeling something for my husband.
1217
01:24:34,541 --> 01:24:35,541
It's hard not to.
1218
01:24:43,250 --> 01:24:46,041
- A hug might be pushing it, you know.
1219
01:24:46,958 --> 01:24:49,208
Yeah. I understand.
1220
01:25:05,875 --> 01:25:07,916
So, the estate agent called to say
1221
01:25:07,916 --> 01:25:10,250
they'd like to list the London house
next week.
1222
01:25:10,916 --> 01:25:11,916
Okay.
1223
01:25:11,916 --> 01:25:13,125
You're okay with that?
1224
01:25:13,875 --> 01:25:15,125
I am, yeah.
1225
01:25:15,125 --> 01:25:17,291
That house isn't mine. It was always his.
1226
01:25:20,625 --> 01:25:22,583
I feel like you're not into this idea.
1227
01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:25,708
My opinion is of little relevance here.
1228
01:25:25,708 --> 01:25:28,416
Well, you manage my finances,
I'm selling my house.
1229
01:25:28,416 --> 01:25:30,541
Your opinion isn't irrelevant.
1230
01:25:35,791 --> 01:25:37,750
I trust you're not running away?
1231
01:25:38,833 --> 01:25:40,708
From him, I mean.
1232
01:25:40,708 --> 01:25:41,625
Mmm.
1233
01:25:47,333 --> 01:25:52,125
My wife died 12 years ago this month.
1234
01:25:54,041 --> 01:25:55,125
I ran.
1235
01:25:56,625 --> 01:25:57,625
From her.
1236
01:25:59,500 --> 01:26:00,416
From us.
1237
01:26:05,041 --> 01:26:07,791
Physiology has a clever way
of protecting us
1238
01:26:07,791 --> 01:26:11,958
from what we perceive
to be a threat to our bodies.
1239
01:26:12,791 --> 01:26:15,375
Which is why
the more we close ourselves off...
1240
01:26:16,500 --> 01:26:17,708
the less we feel.
1241
01:26:20,166 --> 01:26:24,416
At the time, that benefited me.
I got on with it. Went back to school.
1242
01:26:25,833 --> 01:26:27,000
Studied finance.
1243
01:26:28,375 --> 01:26:30,041
Built up a successful business.
1244
01:26:31,791 --> 01:26:32,791
Nice house.
1245
01:26:34,125 --> 01:26:35,500
Good clothes.
1246
01:26:37,208 --> 01:26:39,041
Never having desired anyone else.
1247
01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:42,541
And you can survive that way.
1248
01:26:44,458 --> 01:26:47,875
Until the usualness of it all
starts creeping in.
1249
01:26:49,125 --> 01:26:51,875
And the new life you'd built as a refuge...
1250
01:26:55,458 --> 01:26:57,166
begins to feel like a void.
1251
01:27:03,375 --> 01:27:04,791
Because, as it turns out...
1252
01:27:08,958 --> 01:27:10,458
to avoid sadness...
1253
01:27:17,083 --> 01:27:18,500
is also to avoid love.
1254
01:27:25,958 --> 01:27:31,291
That hindsight is a discomfort that
you will forever mistake for indigestion.
1255
01:28:38,791 --> 01:28:41,125
Well, I've been hustling
to get that trust back,
1256
01:28:41,125 --> 01:28:42,666
but he's not making it easy.
1257
01:28:42,666 --> 01:28:43,791
Is he playing games?
1258
01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:45,541
No.
1259
01:28:46,208 --> 01:28:48,458
All the feelings are still there.
1260
01:28:49,750 --> 01:28:53,125
And he says
he still wants to marry me... eventually.
1261
01:28:54,541 --> 01:28:56,708
So, if that's going to happen one day...
1262
01:28:57,958 --> 01:29:00,041
he needs to know that I'm good, you know?
1263
01:29:00,750 --> 01:29:02,291
- And I get it.
- Hmm.
1264
01:29:02,791 --> 01:29:04,208
It's a miracle he's not the worst.
1265
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:06,708
- Oh my God, biblical.
1266
01:29:07,375 --> 01:29:09,208
- Better than it was, huh?
- Mm.
1267
01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,958
Have you talked to Thomas?
1268
01:29:14,541 --> 01:29:15,875
I have.
1269
01:29:17,041 --> 01:29:18,958
Actually set him up on the apps.
1270
01:29:20,625 --> 01:29:21,458
Big step.
1271
01:29:21,458 --> 01:29:22,416
Oh, huge.
1272
01:29:30,250 --> 01:29:31,916
There's an offer in on the house.
1273
01:29:31,916 --> 01:29:33,875
- Oh, fuck you.
1274
01:29:34,708 --> 01:29:37,458
I will have a guest room ready for you
at the new house.
1275
01:29:37,458 --> 01:29:40,125
If you think I'm taking
an hour-long train ride to see you,
1276
01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:41,666
you're out of your tiny mind.
1277
01:29:41,666 --> 01:29:43,375
I need to be somewhere else.
1278
01:29:43,375 --> 01:29:46,750
I want to paint alone in a room
overlooking the ocean
1279
01:29:46,750 --> 01:29:49,750
like some sad lesbian in a period drama.
1280
01:29:49,750 --> 01:29:51,541
- Oh, Christ, no.
1281
01:29:51,541 --> 01:29:53,166
Please, let me have that.
1282
01:29:55,416 --> 01:29:56,625
End of an era, huh?
1283
01:29:57,708 --> 01:29:58,833
Huge.
1284
01:29:58,833 --> 01:29:59,916
Proud of you.
1285
01:30:00,875 --> 01:30:02,125
I'm proud of you.
1286
01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:07,208
But I'm serious.
1287
01:30:07,208 --> 01:30:09,750
You'll be coming up here
more than I'm going to be going there.
1288
01:30:09,750 --> 01:30:11,958
Sober and selfish.
1289
01:30:11,958 --> 01:30:14,708
Oh my God, that's the title of my memoir.
1290
01:30:16,791 --> 01:30:17,791
I love you.
1291
01:30:45,166 --> 01:30:47,166
♪ Love ♪
1292
01:30:49,500 --> 01:30:54,000
♪ Is the air the fools breathe ♪
1293
01:30:56,250 --> 01:30:59,375
♪ As they hope ♪
1294
01:31:00,750 --> 01:31:05,166
♪ That there's more than they see ♪
1295
01:31:09,166 --> 01:31:12,208
♪ Leave ♪
1296
01:31:12,750 --> 01:31:17,416
♪ There's no reason to stay ♪
1297
01:31:20,291 --> 01:31:26,833
♪ I will follow ♪
1298
01:31:32,333 --> 01:31:35,916
♪ And we search for the reasons ♪
1299
01:31:35,916 --> 01:31:39,083
♪ And pray for the gods ♪
1300
01:31:39,083 --> 01:31:43,583
♪ Day by day ♪
1301
01:31:45,250 --> 01:31:50,916
♪ Building our bridges on common ground ♪
1302
01:31:50,916 --> 01:31:52,583
♪ We hope ♪
1303
01:31:54,541 --> 01:31:59,250
♪ For what's never been there ♪
1304
01:32:01,541 --> 01:32:02,625
It's for you.
1305
01:32:04,041 --> 01:32:07,166
- Well, I should hope so.
1306
01:32:08,125 --> 01:32:12,041
He... He was a beauty, wasn't he?
1307
01:32:13,208 --> 01:32:14,958
Yeah, it was almost annoying.
1308
01:32:18,375 --> 01:32:20,041
He'd have loved this, Marc.
1309
01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:23,500
Thank you.
1310
01:32:24,541 --> 01:32:25,541
Really.
1311
01:32:32,875 --> 01:32:34,083
Get out of town.
1312
01:32:34,666 --> 01:32:35,958
Oh, I don't believe it.
1313
01:32:35,958 --> 01:32:38,416
Look. Look!
1314
01:32:40,583 --> 01:32:42,750
I love it. You're a genius.
1315
01:32:42,750 --> 01:32:47,000
- Aw, I'm glad you like it.
- Oh my God, well done.
1316
01:32:49,500 --> 01:32:51,625
It's nice to see this thing back on track.
1317
01:32:51,625 --> 01:32:53,875
Let me see the ring, let me see the ring.
1318
01:32:53,875 --> 01:32:57,916
Things are never on track with this one,
but it's back.
1319
01:32:58,666 --> 01:33:00,250
- And it's on.
1320
01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:02,500
Okay, just because
your face is on this wall
1321
01:33:02,500 --> 01:33:05,916
does not mean that you can touch
or take home any of the paintings.
1322
01:33:05,916 --> 01:33:07,041
- Moi?
- Mmm.
1323
01:33:07,041 --> 01:33:08,791
Hands by our sides at all times.
1324
01:33:08,791 --> 01:33:12,375
We have some gorgeous sparkling water here
for you tonight.
1325
01:33:12,375 --> 01:33:14,583
- Thank you, darling man.
- Very nice.
1326
01:33:19,375 --> 01:33:21,083
Really wonderful. Really cool.
1327
01:33:52,958 --> 01:33:53,916
I'm glad you came.
1328
01:33:53,916 --> 01:33:56,791
Considering how many times
I begged you to start painting again,
1329
01:33:56,791 --> 01:33:59,208
you're lucky I didn't come out of spite.
1330
01:34:00,083 --> 01:34:03,583
I heard I make a cameo in this show?
Without my written consent?
1331
01:34:03,583 --> 01:34:06,708
- Welcoming lawsuits as Christmas presents.
- Hmm.
1332
01:34:15,708 --> 01:34:17,166
You're even better than I remember.
1333
01:34:18,958 --> 01:34:19,958
It's a step.
1334
01:34:23,583 --> 01:34:25,791
I brought my boyfriend.
I hope that's okay.
1335
01:34:26,333 --> 01:34:29,833
We went with boyfriend and not partner?
I had my money on partner.
1336
01:34:29,833 --> 01:34:30,750
Oh, fuck off.
1337
01:34:31,791 --> 01:34:33,083
- Who's this?
- Ben.
1338
01:34:33,083 --> 01:34:35,875
- Ben, it's very nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1339
01:34:35,875 --> 01:34:37,250
Thank you for coming.
1340
01:34:38,625 --> 01:34:40,541
- Just meeting Ben.
- Hi. Yeah.
1341
01:34:41,666 --> 01:34:43,541
- Good to see you.
- Hey, pal-so.
1342
01:34:46,958 --> 01:34:49,500
- Have you seen the ring?
1343
01:34:49,500 --> 01:34:51,166
Oh yeah, I heard all about it.
1344
01:34:51,166 --> 01:34:52,541
Do you see me?
1345
01:34:52,541 --> 01:34:54,083
Yes, we all see you.