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YTS.MX
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[Fox] Florida, 1990.
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{\an8}[insect fluttering]
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[fluttering continues]
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[Fox] I woke up with a ferocious hangover.
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I placed my left hand across the bridge
of my nose to block the sunlight.
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00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,317
A moth's wing fluttered
against my right cheek.
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I put my hand in front of my face
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so I could finger-flick
the little beastie across the room.
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[fluttering]
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[Fox] That's when I noticed my pinkie.
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Auto animated.
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"For Christ's sake,
it's just your freaking finger."
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But it wasn't mine.
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Shit. It was somebody else's.
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Had I hit my head?
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The tape of the previous night's events
was grainy at best.
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[people laughing]
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[Fox] Woody Harrelson was in the bar
the night before.
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Maybe we'd had
one of our legendary drunken fights.
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[groans]
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00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,206
[groans]
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[Fox]
But I couldn't recall any such melee.
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I did recall how my bodyguard
had to prop me up against the doorframe
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while he fumbled the key into the door
of my suite.
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But I didn't feel any bumps. Fuck.
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{\an8}[director 1] Action!
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{\an8}[director 2] Action, Michael!
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[people shouting] Michael, Michael!
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[reporter 1] Here is as hot as you get
in the history of this business.
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[announcer 1]
And the winner is Michael J. Fox.
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[people cheering]
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[director 3] We're rolling.
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[Fox] In the face of all evidence
to the contrary...
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- [director 3] Very, very still. Mark.
- ...I was in an acid bath of fear...
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and professional insecurity.
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The trembling was a message...
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from the future.
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[breathing heavily]
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[grunts]
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[sighs, sniffles]
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[Guggenheim] Everyone talks now
about owning their narrative.
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So, the sad sack story is,
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"Michael J. Fox gets this debilitating
disease, and it crushes him."
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Hmm.
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Yeah, that's boring.
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My hair went curly,
like, at like, like, at 49.
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It never was curly,
and all of a sudden it went--
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I woke up one morning in Santa Barbara
and my hair was curly.
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- [stylist] I think it's a good look.
- I can put some jam in it.
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- [Guggenheim] No, no, no, no. [chuckles]
- I can put a hat on.
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It's just caring too much
about what I look like for a documentary.
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[Guggenheim] Yeah. It's you. [laughing]
Okay, now look at me.
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There you go.
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- [stylist] Coming in.
- [Guggenheim] Uh-oh.
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Wha-- Guys, at a certain point it's just--
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- it just is what it is.
- [stylist] Just right here.
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[Guggenheim laughs]
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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- How you doing?
- Yeah, I'm doing good.
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Watch me.
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- How's your day going so far?
- So far?
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So far it's, uh-- it's successful.
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[Guggenheim]
Everyone knows you have Parkinson's,
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but when they see you walking,
they're like, "Oh, fuck."
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Yeah.
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Good. Stop and reset.
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Good. There we go.
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[Fox] The walking thing
really freaks people out.
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Oh, look.
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[Fox] But I won't hide it from you.
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- Hey.
- [pedestrian] Hey.
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And you can do with it what you will.
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If you pity me,
it's never gonna get to me.
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I'm not pathetic.
I'm-- I got shit going on.
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- [Fox] Hi, how you doing?
- [barking]
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Take your time, take your time.
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I'm a tough, uh, son of a bitch.
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I'm a cockroach,
and I've been through a lot of stuff.
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- [Guggenheim] You can't kill a cockroach.
- Can't kill a cockroach.
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- Nice and slowly, nice and slowly.
- [Fox groans]
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[therapist] There you go. Beautiful.
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- Hey, how are you?
- [Fox] Good. How are you?
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[therapist] Good. Stop and reset.
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[pedestrian 2] Mr. Fox. [chuckles]
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[Fox grunting] That happened.
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[strains, grunts]
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- [pedestrian 2] You got it?
- [Fox] All right-- I'm okay. Thank you.
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[pedestrian 2]
Okay. Nice to meet you, sir.
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Nice to meet you.
You knocked me off my feet.
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[pedestrian 2 laughs]
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[Guggenheim] Before Parkinson's,
what did it mean to be still?
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I wouldn't know. [chuckles]
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I wouldn't know. I was never still.
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["A Life of Illusion" playing]
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[Fox] I can't pretend to remember
my two-year-old state of mind.
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Knee-high, weighing little more than
a wet beach towel, and slippery quick.
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But it's likely that my motive
in wandering out the back door
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was not to escape.
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More likely,
I failed to recognize boundaries.
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[ringing]
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[Fox]
When the phone rang a few minutes later,
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the proprietor of the candy store tried
to contain his amusement.
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"Got your son here."
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I can easily picture my mother
in utter disbelief that I'd bolted.
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"Let him have a candy or something.
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My husband will be right there
to pick him up and pay for it."
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"Oh, he's got money."
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"He's got quite a bit of money,
as a matter of fact."
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As a kid,
I lacked the faith required to be still.
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It is one of the great ironies in my life.
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I couldn't be still
until I could literally...
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no longer keep still.
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When my baby sister arrived,
I wasn't jealous.
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What the hell, the more the merrier.
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But by the time I was six
and she was three, we were the same size.
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I have a specific memory
of being asked if we were twins,
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but once told that my twin
was actually three years younger,
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people's reactions changed.
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I realized that I was expected
to be bigger.
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This was a new one on me.
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I couldn't do "bigger."
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{\an8}I was the shortest in my class.
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{\an8}Shorter than any of the people
I played hockey with.
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I was the guy who-- who'd climb down
into the grate and get the ball.
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{\an8}But I used to get my ass kicked.
I was a little guy.
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I'd get stuffed in lockers.
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{\an8}If big guys are purposely coming
after you, and then fucking hammering you...
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But I'd always relied on my ability
to run from any potential bully.
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Just when the earth seemed
to be sliding out from beneath me,
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I stumbled onto a foothold.
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Drama class.
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That's where the girls were.
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And I was Rumpelstiltskin in a play.
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- [Guggenheim] You were Rumpelstiltskin?
- I was Rumpelstiltskin, yeah.
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[Guggenheim laughs]
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You also looked five years younger.
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Yeah, I was just a little elf.
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I was cute and elfin. I was a cute elf.
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- [Guggenheim] A cute elf.
- [laughs]
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[Guggenheim]
In drama class, you could be big.
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In drama class, you could be anything.
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But my head was up my ass
if you asked my father.
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Dad was a pragmatist, determined to
protect his family from romantic fantasy.
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He'd had dreams as a young boy, but they'd
been effectively knocked out of him.
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[Fox] He had a certain amount of rage.
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You'd see his lip curl,
and you knew you were in trouble.
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Then you'd go, "Oh, shit. I'm fucked now."
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[Fox] A call from the principal's office
meant a harsh reprimand from Dad.
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00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,938
And he'd say, "Goddamn it! Goddamn it."
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I began to spend more
of my time smoking and drinking.
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And I became a serial fender bender...
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inflicting damage to my dad's cars.
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[Guggenheim]
So, in his mind, you're a fuckup.
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Yeah, a poten-potential fuckup.
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Hey. Looking good.
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These shoes are terrific.
Now I got a fighting chance.
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[Fox] When I was 16,
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my acting teacher
thrust a newspaper into my hands.
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"They're looking for a bright
12-year-old kid,
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and hell, you'd be the brightest
12-year-old kid they're ever gonna meet."
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But I'm gonna blow it, Leo.
All those people looking at me.
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[audience laughing]
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We're ready for you in Makeup.
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- [sighs]
- You're gonna make history, kid.
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Gotta grow an inch by Friday.
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[Fox] I got the part. It was that easy.
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Basketball tryouts?
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00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,079
No. Penny Montgomery.
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00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,749
If I stand real close,
I can't see her face.
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00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,129
[Fox] The casting director believed
I held an advantage.
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American producers would be eager
to hire an actor
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who looked young enough to play a kid.
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00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:20,222
But that meant moving to Hollywood
and dropping out of high school.
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00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,726
And that seemed inconceivable.
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Dad,
"Are you sure this is what you wanna do?"
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Me, "Absolutely."
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00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,403
"You're that confident?"
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00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,363
"Absolutely."
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00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,448
["This Is It" playing]
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[Fox] And then Dad shocked me.
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00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,831
"Well, if you're gonna be a lumberjack,
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you might as well go
to the goddamn forest."
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[Guggenheim]
So, secretly, he believed in you.
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Yeah.
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00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,222
Dad agreed to underwrite the adventure,
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00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,184
putting the whole trip on his Visa card.
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00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,472
[Fox] I remember thinking just how far Dad
and I had come over the past few weeks.
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He advised me that he'd just drive
to the appointments
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00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,688
and debrief me after each one.
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His way of signaling to me
that this was my show, not his.
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[phone ringing]
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00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,451
Hello.
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00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:07,788
No, that's perfect.
196
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,375
[Fox] Every audition earned a callback,
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00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,877
and three of the callbacks produced
solid offers.
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00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:21,802
"You've got the world by the tail,"
Dad said. "Just hold on."
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00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,142
My studio apartment was
in the slums of Beverly Hills.
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00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,481
[Carrie] It's the prettiest house
I ever seen in my life.
201
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,776
Well, I was just thinking I'm glad
you came home with me.
202
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:45,534
[Fox] The apartment was 17-by-12 feet.
One mattress, one hot plate,
203
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:50,122
with a microscopic bathroom
and the domicile's one and only sink.
204
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:57,129
I washed my hair with Palmolive
and my dishes with Head & Shoulders.
205
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,595
I-I really had a great time tonight.
206
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,267
[Fox] I enlisted Ronald McDonald
as my exclusive nutritionist.
207
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,442
- We alone?
- Alone?
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00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:22,196
I mean, is your husband lurking about?
209
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,407
[Fox] But by the spring of 1982...
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00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,491
[doctor] Schweitzer.
211
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,410
...the scenario was grim.
212
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,162
What's going on here? What is this?
213
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:33,540
Please relax, Mr. Wyatt.
I'm going to examine your chest.
214
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,210
- Hey, is this a joke or something?
- Uh, hi.
215
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,128
[Fox] I continued to pick up acting jobs,
216
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:41,131
but they barely earned me enough
to live on.
217
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,218
My agent took 10% of my paycheck.
218
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,469
Your paycheck.
219
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,680
[Fox] And then there was the photographer,
publicist or lawyer.
220
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:52,392
- It says "$1.25."
- Yeah, so?
221
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,311
I'm telling you it's wrong.
It's a mistake!
222
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:58,190
[pants] I worked hard for this.
[sobs] It's not fair.
223
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,025
I worked too hard for this.
224
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,860
[Fox] I began to liquidate.
225
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,489
I sold off my sectional sofa
section by section.
226
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,996
I came close on a couple of movies.
Most notably, Ordinary People.
227
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,458
But Robert Redford seemed less than
impressed by my reading.
228
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,961
He spent the audition flossing his teeth.
229
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,799
Why did they have to come here
in the first place?
230
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,385
[Fox]
The rejection can be so matter-of-fact
231
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,846
that there's a danger
you'll get numbed by it.
232
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:31,890
[W.D.] Don't listen to those that
don't know what they're talking about.
233
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,185
[Fox] I was down to days.
234
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:41,358
[Guggenheim] So, you're running out of
money. That's all that--
235
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:45,821
I wa-- "Running out" is--
is generous. I had no-- I had no money.
236
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,866
- I was taking jam packets from IHOPs.
- [Guggenheim] What's that?
237
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,826
- Like-- Like, just-- Smucker's.
- [Guggenheim] Why?
238
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:52,077
- Why?
- To e-- To eat.
239
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,746
- [Guggenheim] Come on.
- And I-- I wa--
240
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,374
I was finding quarters
and nickels and dimes,
241
00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,377
and I'd use that to get to the next
moment. I was living beat to beat.
242
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:03,297
And I said, "I-- I gotta get
out of here. I have no money,
243
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:07,467
and I owe the IRS money, and I-- I'm
ducking the landlord, and I got no phone."
244
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,595
I mea-- I mean,
I have to walk to the airport.
245
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,222
- [Guggenheim] What was the expectation?
- Uh, I-- My expectation was,
246
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,807
my brother's
a construction superintendent,
247
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,393
and I'd be working on his sites
picking up nails.
248
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:21,732
But I still had a chip and a chair.
249
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:24,693
[Guggenheim] A what?
250
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:27,946
Playing poker, as long as you got
a chip left and a chair to sit in,
251
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:30,365
you're in the game.
You got a chip and a chair.
252
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,208
This was it. This was my last shot.
253
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:50,469
[Fox] "You gotta stop hawking me
about this kid,"
254
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:54,348
producer Gary David Goldberg told
the casting director of his new sitcom.
255
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,600
[Goldberg] We don't wanna get into an
area where we're bringing someone on
256
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,019
who's not funny. You know, and there's
not-- not any comedy there.
257
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,438
[Fox] "There's no way
I'm gonna change my mind on this.
258
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,023
He's just not our guy."
259
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:06,527
I think we all feel
that Alex is super competent,
260
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:09,905
you know, editor of the paper,
but sympathetic underneath.
261
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,741
[Fox]
"I know what I want, and I'm telling you,
262
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:15,577
I don't want Michael Fox
playing Alex Keaton."
263
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,415
No. I want this job. I need it.
I can do it.
264
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,709
Everywhere I've been,
there's always been something wrong.
265
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:26,922
Too young, too old, too short, too tall.
Whatever the exception is, I can fix it.
266
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,550
I can be older. I can be taller.
I can be anything.
267
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,178
[people chattering]
268
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:38,100
- [director 1] Here we go. Ready? In five.
- [director 2] Five, four, three, two!
269
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:45,482
[young Fox] Um. Uh-- Uh-- Wait, wait,
I'm sorry, my script just went to pieces.
270
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,444
- Where is it? Shit.
- [assistant] Top of 11.
271
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,613
[young Fox]
"It's his first day of kindergarten, Mom.
272
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:54,032
He doesn't wanna be late.
This could affect his entire life."
273
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,617
[people laughing]
274
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,996
[young Fox] "Mal's right. After all, this
is my alma mater. I am a legend there."
275
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,126
And-- And they laughed. And I just went--
276
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:10,465
It was just, like... a wash of-- of-- of,
like, "Wow."
277
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:12,551
- [young Fox] "Oh, I got one too."
- [people laughing]
278
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,350
There's no drink, there's no drug,
there's no woman, there's no-- nothing
279
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,187
that can touch that moment for me
as a 22-year-old guy
280
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,064
who'd been fighting for three years
to-- to make it.
281
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,025
[young Fox]
"Aha! Good, good, good, good, good."
282
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:30,152
[laughing]
283
00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:32,779
Laughter is--
You can't-- You can't help it.
284
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,073
I-- Like, I just found something,
285
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:38,577
a way to communicate with you that
you didn't expect, you have no--
286
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:41,663
you have no answer for it,
except to-- except to make a noise.
287
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:44,166
- [young Fox] "...kidding me? Come"--
- [people laughing]
288
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,757
If you didn't have any, you'd have
to let air out. It's really honest.
289
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,011
Gary David Goldberg leaned back
in his chair and said,
290
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,639
"Why didn't anybody tell me
about this kid?"
291
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,308
Great.
292
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:06,104
[Fox] I was standing at a pay phone
outside of a Pioneer Chicken franchise.
293
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,608
While my agent was talking
about a seven-figure salary,
294
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,822
I stared at the menu wishing I had
$1.99 to buy the buffalo wings.
295
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,035
The contract could not be officially
locked in, however,
296
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:25,290
as the NBC executive wunderkind
head of programming, Brandon Tartikoff,
297
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:28,126
was absolutely against giving me
the role of Alex Keaton.
298
00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:33,966
This guy is very proficient,
and he hits the comedy, but, um,
299
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:37,594
I don't think we're talking about somebody
who's gonna be on a lunch box.
300
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,099
[Fox] It would be a relatively simple
matter for me to be fired and replaced.
301
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,646
The argument raged on right up to the day
we began shooting the pilot.
302
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,240
- [crew member 1 speaking indistinctly]
- [applause]
303
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,243
So, welcome to Family Ties, everybody.
304
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,703
Andy, we ready to go?
305
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:05,664
[Fox] Whatever happened in the next hour
was gonna decide my fate.
306
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:08,000
[crew member 2]
The guys will bring down the house lights.
307
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:21,597
Whoa.
308
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,021
Start your VTRs, please.
Start your machines.
309
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:31,565
[crew member 3]
Okay, Paul, you got the first shot.
310
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:34,651
- [Paul] Have a good show, everyone.
- [crew member 4] Three, two...
311
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,530
[director 1]
Here we go. We're ready. And action. Go.
312
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,032
- [phone rings]
- [gasps, squeals]
313
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:43,535
Hello. May I tell him who's calling?
314
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,370
Kimberly Blanton.
315
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,747
- Kimberly. [sighs]
- Oh, I'm sorry...
316
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:48,916
[Fox] From the moment I ad-libbed
the initial P...
317
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,960
- Alex P. Keaton here.
- [audience laughing]
318
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:58,592
...I felt as though the audience
was aware of my desperate days
319
00:20:58,592 --> 00:20:59,885
leading up to that moment.
320
00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:04,598
Hi. Sorry I had to answer the door myself.
Our butler's off tonight.
321
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,642
[audience laughing]
322
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:14,191
If Kimberly doesn't like your family
for who they are,
323
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,402
then maybe she isn't worth caring
about at all, don't you think?
324
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,906
Are you gonna wear your hair like that,
or are you gonna put it up?
325
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,789
[crew member 5] Michael J. Fox!
326
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,043
[young Fox] Whoa, whoa. This is working.
327
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:42,553
I just knew at that moment, like...
[sighs] ...it was all gonna come true.
328
00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:43,762
Mom, what are you doing?
329
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:47,015
[announcer 2] The situation comedy
was supposed to focus on the parents.
330
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,100
No bananas, Ma.
331
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,434
[audience laughs]
332
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:53,438
[announcer 2] Instead,
America fell in love with their son.
333
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,400
Play towards Michael. That'd help her.
And here on out to play towards Michael.
334
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,277
- Okay, he'll be fine.
- [director 2 laughs]
335
00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:00,195
[announcer 2] His performance is so good.
336
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:05,325
Watching him, you are struck
by his exquisite sense of timing.
337
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:11,123
I find a sense of humor in a man
to be incredibly sexually exciting.
338
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:16,336
- A priest and a rabbi are in a room.
- [audience laughing]
339
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:21,258
[interviewer 1] When did you discover
that you liked to make people laugh?
340
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,385
[young Fox]
When I was growing up, I was a small kid.
341
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,804
It was either, you know,
funny or fight, so...
342
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,182
The idea is always
if you can make the big guy laugh
343
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,393
before you can make him mad at you...
[stammers] ...it's a safer way to go.
344
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:33,645
- [director 2] Cue.
- Alex, come on, admit it.
345
00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:35,022
You're really special.
346
00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:37,733
- All right. I--
- [audience laughing]
347
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,694
I don't wanna get in an argument
about this.
348
00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:41,820
[audience laughing]
349
00:22:44,156 --> 00:22:50,370
Mr. Fox, uh, sent me this, uh, lunch box.
350
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:55,709
{\an8}Affectionately signed, "Brandon,
love and kisses, Michael J. Fox."
351
00:22:58,170 --> 00:22:59,880
[cheering]
352
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:25,280
[Guggenheim] When I'm with you,
I can see in your eyes
353
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:30,452
that you've got a great one-liner and that
it's hard to get that to your mouth.
354
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:33,288
I-- It just sucks.
It's-- It's really hard.
355
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:38,919
When-- When-- When I'm really
in need of dopamine and--
356
00:23:38,919 --> 00:23:42,881
at the end of a dose--
I'm getting close to that now.
357
00:23:43,382 --> 00:23:47,594
Um, I get frozen and I--
Frozen physically and frozen facially.
358
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:51,139
It's a mask. I have a--
a parkinsonian mask.
359
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,517
I-- Just,
I have to-- I have to really work--
360
00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:56,645
to struggle to-- to smile,
to show expression.
361
00:23:57,271 --> 00:24:00,065
[smacks lips] It gives-- It gives me a--
a kind of blank countenance.
362
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,193
[Guggenheim]
If you were having pure exhilaration,
363
00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:06,321
- what would your face look like?
- Like this. [sighs]
364
00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:11,910
[Guggenheim]
This is what you did for a living.
365
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:12,995
Yeah.
366
00:24:12,995 --> 00:24:14,997
[Fox vocalizing]
367
00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:28,010
[Dr. Bressman] And stop.
368
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:29,720
[vocalizing stops]
369
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,848
[Dr. Bressman] Okay. You feel warmed up?
Is it making you light-headed?
370
00:24:32,848 --> 00:24:35,475
- [laughs] It's ma-- making me crazy.
- [Dr. Bressman laughs]
371
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:38,854
Okay, we're gonna do some pages
from your book.
372
00:24:38,854 --> 00:24:41,940
Okay.
"After my dad retired from the Army..."
373
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,025
Little straighter.
374
00:24:44,735 --> 00:24:46,904
[Guggenheim] Why do you wanna tell
this story right now?
375
00:24:51,158 --> 00:24:52,159
[sighs]
376
00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:59,208
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me.
377
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:02,169
I'd read a big picture book
cover to cover..."
378
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:03,754
[Fox] My world is getting smaller.
379
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:06,298
I love my mind,
and I love the place it takes me,
380
00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:09,468
and I-- and I just don't want that
to get cut short.
381
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:13,430
"As a kid, many things seemed
to come easily to me..."
382
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:16,767
[Guggenheim] Is there gonna be a moment--
maybe it's 20 years from now--
383
00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:19,102
where you can't tell your story?
384
00:25:20,062 --> 00:25:21,480
Well, if I'm here 20 years from now,
385
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:27,152
I'll be-- I'd either be cured
or, like, a pickle.
386
00:25:28,779 --> 00:25:32,407
"I had to eat my lunch through a s--
I had to eat my lunch through a straw"...
387
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,994
[slurping]
388
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:39,206
..."with several layers
of form-fitted rubber foam
389
00:25:39,206 --> 00:25:42,042
studded with yak hair affixed on my face."
That's actually really, like--
390
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,877
- [Guggenheim] Who wrote that stuff?
- Some asshole.
391
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:45,546
- [Dr. Bressman chuckles]
- [chuckles]
392
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,633
[Fox] It was a low-budget B movie.
393
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,887
But down the street were professionals.
394
00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:58,433
What were those guys doing?
395
00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:03,730
They're with the new Zemeckis
and Spielberg movie. Who's in it?
396
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:05,482
Crispin Glover.
397
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:07,901
Ouch.
398
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:12,239
It stung a little bit that Crazy Crispin
was gonna do a Spielberg movie
399
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:16,076
- while I--
- [shutter clicks]
400
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:20,122
Thrown away on some B-grade
high school werewolf movie.
401
00:26:27,796 --> 00:26:29,506
[Fox]
A day or two after our Christmas break,
402
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:33,760
Gary David Goldberg had summoned me
into his office.
403
00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:40,142
"I have a confession to make," Gary began.
404
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,855
"Just before the start of the season,
Steven sent me a copy of this script."
405
00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:48,901
Whenever Gary said "Steven,"
I knew he meant Spielberg.
406
00:26:52,863 --> 00:26:54,615
{\an8}"Steven had wanted you for the lead role.
407
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:57,576
{\an8}They came to me asking if there was
any way I could let you outta the show.
408
00:26:59,745 --> 00:27:02,289
I didn't mention it to you then,
because it was just impossible.
409
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,961
[sighs]
410
00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:18,722
They started shooting
a couple of months ago with Eric Stoltz,
411
00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:20,974
but they don't think he's the right fit
for the role.
412
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:27,397
It's gonna be expensive,
but they wanna reshoot all of his stuff."
413
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:30,692
[Fox] My head was spinning.
414
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:34,905
Anything else?
415
00:27:35,489 --> 00:27:37,699
[Fox] "You're not gonna miss
an hour of work on the show."
416
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:45,374
The deal was made.
417
00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:51,880
A Teamster driver would pick me up
at 9:30 a.m.
418
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:54,842
and take me to Paramount...
419
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:59,680
where I would spend
the day shooting Family Ties.
420
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,183
Hi, how you doing?
421
00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:06,061
{\an8}You think you can handle both jobs?
422
00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:07,354
{\an8}[audience laughing]
423
00:28:08,146 --> 00:28:09,147
[horn honks]
424
00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:11,942
- That's for me.
- [audience laughing]
425
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:19,199
[Fox] Then at 6:00, another Teamster
driver would pick me up and shuttle me
426
00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:22,244
to whatever far-flung location
we were based at that evening.
427
00:28:40,262 --> 00:28:41,388
{\an8}[director] Action!
428
00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:43,390
Wait a minute, Doc.
429
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:47,978
Uh, are you telling me that you built
a time machine... [panting]
430
00:28:48,854 --> 00:28:49,897
...out of a DeLorean?
431
00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:55,527
[Fox] I would work on the film
until just before sunrise.
432
00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:58,488
[beeping]
433
00:29:00,949 --> 00:29:03,535
[Fox] At that point, I'd climb
into the back of a production van
434
00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:04,953
with a pillow and a blanket
435
00:29:05,704 --> 00:29:08,207
and yet another Teamster driver
would take me home again.
436
00:29:11,627 --> 00:29:13,295
I catch two or three hours of sleep...
437
00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:16,131
[alarm bell ringing]
438
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:20,719
...before Teamster driver number one
would reappear at my apartment,
439
00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:23,013
let himself in with a key I provided,
440
00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,265
brew a pot of coffee,
441
00:29:26,642 --> 00:29:27,518
turn on the shower.
442
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,898
And then start
the whole process all over again.
443
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:41,490
Oh, hello, hello!
444
00:29:41,490 --> 00:29:43,158
- [Elyse] Alex, you're an hour late.
- [Alex] Yes?
445
00:29:43,158 --> 00:29:44,826
[Mr. Adler] So, how's your new job, Alex?
446
00:29:45,327 --> 00:29:48,330
- Oh, it's great. It's, um, really great.
- [horn honks]
447
00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:50,332
Oh, that's my ride.
I gotta be in early today.
448
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:58,465
- [crew member] Mark.
- Action!
449
00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:12,437
Okay, guys and dolls!
450
00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:13,981
[Fox]
For the next three-and-a-half months,
451
00:30:13,981 --> 00:30:17,234
the combination of Back to the Future
and Family Ties swallowed me whole.
452
00:30:19,278 --> 00:30:20,112
Take 22.
453
00:30:20,112 --> 00:30:22,781
{\an8}[Fox] I experienced confusion
as to what set I was on...
454
00:30:23,282 --> 00:30:24,283
[sighs]
455
00:30:24,283 --> 00:30:26,451
...and basically who I was
in the first place.
456
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,163
You've worked every afternoon
and evening for the past two weeks.
457
00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:32,165
[alarm bell rings]
458
00:30:37,045 --> 00:30:38,422
[alarm bell rings]
459
00:30:40,757 --> 00:30:42,718
[Fox]
How could any of this shit be any good?
460
00:30:48,932 --> 00:30:50,726
- How you doing today?
- [Guggenheim] I'm good. How are you?
461
00:30:50,726 --> 00:30:53,145
Good. Tired.
462
00:30:56,190 --> 00:30:58,901
- [Guggenheim] What happened here?
- I smashed my head.
463
00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:05,574
I was walking really fast,
and I fell into this piece of furniture.
464
00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:10,037
I-- I didn't hit the furniture the way
I usually do, and I hit it with my face.
465
00:31:10,537 --> 00:31:12,080
And I-- For a second,
I was lying on the ground,
466
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,208
and I said, "I think I fucked
myself." [chuckles]
467
00:31:14,208 --> 00:31:19,129
And then I started to, um, bruise,
and my eyes went black. My-- [stammers]
468
00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:22,090
This eye went really black.
And then they did X-rays,
469
00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:25,886
and they said that "You broke all
the bones in your cheek and your eye."
470
00:31:26,512 --> 00:31:30,557
And they did surgery and went in
and fixed it and put pins in it.
471
00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:32,601
I had pins here and here.
472
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,978
- Here. Yeah.
- [Guggenheim] You had pins in there?
473
00:31:34,978 --> 00:31:37,773
So, yeah. So, I smashed my face up,
but I do that.
474
00:31:37,773 --> 00:31:41,735
Like, I do, like-- It's part of the...
[smacks lips] ...deal is that I fall.
475
00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:44,071
- It's the real deal.
- Parkinson's and gravity are real.
476
00:31:44,071 --> 00:31:47,699
[chuckles] Yeah, gravity is real. Even if
you're only falling from my-- my height.
477
00:31:47,699 --> 00:31:49,034
- [Guggenheim laughing]
- [chuckles]
478
00:31:49,910 --> 00:31:51,245
Okay, we're back to business.
479
00:31:52,246 --> 00:31:53,872
{\an8}The story of me, take two.
480
00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:55,374
[phone ringing]
481
00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:03,799
[young Fox groans] Jesus, my head.
482
00:32:06,093 --> 00:32:07,261
Where the hell am I?
483
00:32:11,974 --> 00:32:12,850
Hello?
484
00:32:12,850 --> 00:32:14,393
"Mike, we just saw the movie."
485
00:32:14,393 --> 00:32:15,310
[young Fox] What movie?
486
00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:17,271
"Your movie. Back to the Future."
487
00:32:19,273 --> 00:32:21,149
[Fox] The person calling me was my agent.
488
00:32:22,276 --> 00:32:24,528
[young Fox]
I'm sorry, Pete. I know I suck.
489
00:32:25,737 --> 00:32:29,032
[Fox] If this was the beginning
of the end, it had been a hell of a ride.
490
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:32,786
I'm Roger Ebert,
film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times.
491
00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:35,706
And I'm Gene Siskel,
film critic of the Chicago Tribune.
492
00:32:36,206 --> 00:32:39,501
[Siskel] First, Back to the Future.
A time travel movie, a category I hate,
493
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:42,546
because you're never really gonna change
things when they go back in the past,
494
00:32:42,546 --> 00:32:45,090
because that would mean that the future
that we saw at the beginning of the film
495
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:46,633
would've had to have been a lie, right?
496
00:32:46,633 --> 00:32:49,511
But, Back to the Future managed
to beat that problem,
497
00:32:49,511 --> 00:32:51,471
and it delighted me in so doing.
498
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:54,057
This is my favorite film
of the summer movie season.
499
00:32:55,142 --> 00:32:58,353
And Michael J. Fox gives
an absolutely winning performance.
500
00:32:59,104 --> 00:33:02,774
[Fox] The ride, it turned out,
was only beginning.
501
00:33:06,445 --> 00:33:07,988
["Welcome to the Jungle" playing]
502
00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:18,457
[interviewer] How are you doing
with the early word on this movie?
503
00:33:18,457 --> 00:33:20,125
The early word is "spectacular."
504
00:33:20,125 --> 00:33:22,711
- [stammers] Kind of frightening, yes.
- Scary. Yeah, it's really scary.
505
00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:24,254
[people cheering, chattering]
506
00:33:26,882 --> 00:33:29,301
- Will you be the same guy?
- Yeah.
507
00:33:29,301 --> 00:33:31,553
- [interviewer] Will you handle it well?
- Yeah.
508
00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:38,727
[Fox] There's a newsstand
in my old Studio City neighborhood.
509
00:33:39,728 --> 00:33:41,605
Every now and then, I'd stop by.
510
00:33:42,231 --> 00:33:44,399
No, I wasn't checking out Hustler
or Juggs,
511
00:33:45,025 --> 00:33:47,319
but surveying the versions
of myself on display.
512
00:33:47,319 --> 00:33:51,198
GQ. US. People. Rolling Stone.
513
00:33:51,698 --> 00:33:53,784
Playgirl. TigerBeat. TV Guide.
514
00:33:53,784 --> 00:33:56,161
Variety. McCall's. The Star. The Globe.
515
00:33:56,161 --> 00:33:59,039
Seventeen, 16, Mad, Cracked,
and on and on.
516
00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:02,751
Everywhere I looked,
I saw my image reflected back at me.
517
00:34:03,252 --> 00:34:05,671
None of them was a true representation
of my real self...
518
00:34:07,965 --> 00:34:09,091
Whoever that was.
519
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:17,641
Here is as hot as you get in the history
of this business. Here is Michael J. Fox.
520
00:34:17,641 --> 00:34:19,434
[audience cheering]
521
00:34:19,434 --> 00:34:21,395
Michael J. Fox!
522
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:25,274
Michael J. Fox is with us tonight. Yeah!
523
00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:33,574
Doesn't that make you just feel fabulous?
524
00:34:33,574 --> 00:34:36,994
That's great. It cost a lot to fly
my whole family down here, but I'm glad--
525
00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:38,661
[audience laughs, applauds]
526
00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:41,290
[talk show host 1]
First of all, congratulations.
527
00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:44,376
Back to the Future is still number one
at the box office.
528
00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:46,837
But it's gonna get some
new competition this weekend
529
00:34:46,837 --> 00:34:50,047
{\an8}from another Michael J. Fox movie.
Is it gonna give it a run for its money?
530
00:34:50,674 --> 00:34:51,925
{\an8}I don't know.
531
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:58,182
[talk show host 2] The popularity
of Michael J. Fox is a phenomenon.
532
00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:02,186
[audience cheering]
533
00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:06,356
Well,
you're just gonna have to tell Spielberg,
534
00:35:06,356 --> 00:35:07,941
I'm not prepared to make that commitment.
535
00:35:09,318 --> 00:35:11,570
[interviewer 3]
What is the secret of your success?
536
00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:12,654
This is my--
537
00:35:13,322 --> 00:35:15,699
Uh, I can't believe I was about to say
acting is my life.
538
00:35:15,699 --> 00:35:16,992
[interviewer 3 laughs]
539
00:35:16,992 --> 00:35:19,912
TV's Emmy Awards were handed out,
and the winners are...
540
00:35:20,787 --> 00:35:23,165
{\an8}- [screams]
- [people cheering]
541
00:35:23,165 --> 00:35:25,792
{\an8}I don't believe this! Great!
542
00:35:27,002 --> 00:35:29,755
- I feel four feet tall.
- [audience laughs]
543
00:35:29,755 --> 00:35:32,716
And I always see your name
with "adorable" in front of it.
544
00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:35,093
Now, does this get a little annoying
after a while?
545
00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:36,803
Yeah, well, I-- My mom writes
for these magazines.
546
00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:38,514
- [Leno] Oh, is that right?
- [audience laughing]
547
00:35:38,514 --> 00:35:40,432
I think Michael Fox is cute.
548
00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:43,810
I think Michael Fox is really cute.
And I'd go out with him anytime. [laughs]
549
00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:49,316
[Fox] Don't get me wrong.
I had a really, really good time.
550
00:35:51,026 --> 00:35:53,195
- Who are you sleeping with?
- Who are you sleeping with?
551
00:35:53,695 --> 00:35:55,572
- [stammers] Um...
- [audience laughing]
552
00:35:57,658 --> 00:36:00,327
I wasn't gonna ask you. It's Shelley.
I was gonna go right back to--
553
00:36:00,327 --> 00:36:01,578
But you did. [laughs]
554
00:36:01,578 --> 00:36:02,955
- [Rivers] Because--
- [audience laughs]
555
00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:05,207
I still don't get it.
I'm like-- [chuckles]
556
00:36:05,207 --> 00:36:10,128
I mean, I still have no idea
what people see, but-- but--
557
00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:14,675
I have a favorite beer.
I don't know if I can mention it,
558
00:36:14,675 --> 00:36:18,303
but it's a Canadian beer, and it has
a certain antlered animal on the front.
559
00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:23,559
[Fox] One morning, I peered out
the window to see a beer delivery truck.
560
00:36:25,727 --> 00:36:28,564
"There's a lot more where this came
from," the delivery guy said.
561
00:36:29,982 --> 00:36:33,193
I owned a Ferrari, a Range Rover,
a Jeep Cherokee,
562
00:36:33,694 --> 00:36:35,988
a Mercedes 560 SL convertible.
563
00:36:48,709 --> 00:36:50,878
The booze was free,
and I was usually the guest of honor.
564
00:37:08,103 --> 00:37:11,064
I had a guy who pulled over my Ferrari
one time on the way to work.
565
00:37:11,064 --> 00:37:13,025
And-- And the cop leans in, he goes,
566
00:37:14,193 --> 00:37:16,320
"Mike, is that you?" And I say, "Yeah."
He said,
567
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,863
"This is a big, heavy car.
You gotta be careful."
568
00:37:17,863 --> 00:37:20,032
I was going 90 down Ventura Boulevard
in a Ferrari.
569
00:37:20,532 --> 00:37:22,242
And he said, "Love the show."
570
00:37:23,452 --> 00:37:25,495
I said, "That's it?"
571
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:28,540
- So, five steps forward.
- Yeah.
572
00:37:29,208 --> 00:37:32,419
If your left foot catches,
you stop and reset when you can.
573
00:37:32,419 --> 00:37:35,005
I'm not gonna stop you,
but you stop when you can.
574
00:37:35,005 --> 00:37:36,590
- [grunting] It's locking--
- Good.
575
00:37:36,590 --> 00:37:38,050
- My knees are locking out.
- Good.
576
00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:39,927
- Yeah, I can do this without--
- So, settle into this.
577
00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:43,972
Bounce into it. Feel those heels. Turn.
Know that you're settled.
578
00:37:43,972 --> 00:37:45,015
[Fox] There's that period of time
579
00:37:45,015 --> 00:37:47,976
- that I was the king of the world.
- Good. Golf stance again, don't lock out.
580
00:37:47,976 --> 00:37:51,146
And I was playing a part.
I was playing a-- I was playing a--
581
00:37:51,146 --> 00:37:55,067
And then that--
that was worth feeling sorry for.
582
00:37:55,817 --> 00:37:57,778
- [Fox grunting, groaning]
- How's Tracy?
583
00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:01,490
- Married to me. Still. [grunts]
- [Orser laughs]
584
00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:05,244
[Fox] With the life of a young celebrity
that gets a lot of fame really fast,
585
00:38:05,869 --> 00:38:07,120
you don't know what's real.
586
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,457
People taking pictures of-- in my bushes
of me in the swimming pool.
587
00:38:10,457 --> 00:38:12,042
Walking down the street with a hat on
588
00:38:12,042 --> 00:38:15,629
and-- and glasses
and down and-- and hiding.
589
00:38:16,505 --> 00:38:18,340
It's all bullshit.
It's not the real stuff.
590
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:20,759
- Big step right.
- No.
591
00:38:20,759 --> 00:38:23,178
Big step right. Good. Golf stance again.
592
00:38:25,764 --> 00:38:28,350
Good. This is the stuff
that we need to work on.
593
00:38:28,350 --> 00:38:31,103
Slowing down your thought process, right?
594
00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,814
- And this is the area that you need work.
- Yeah, I do.
595
00:38:33,814 --> 00:38:35,649
- So, it's slowing down.
- Yeah.
596
00:38:35,649 --> 00:38:38,902
Right? So, stand up, hit the golf stance.
In your heels.
597
00:38:39,403 --> 00:38:40,737
- Are you there?
- Yeah.
598
00:38:40,737 --> 00:38:43,365
Do that quarter step around the stool.
599
00:38:44,366 --> 00:38:46,285
[Fox] Parkinson's was just a disaster.
600
00:38:47,286 --> 00:38:50,247
But-- But, it-- it's so real.
601
00:38:50,247 --> 00:38:52,875
When my arm would seize up
or my hand would twitch,
602
00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:54,710
that's real. It's-- It's real.
603
00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:57,880
Turn. Make sure you're settled.
604
00:39:01,091 --> 00:39:02,551
Good. Make sure you're settled.
605
00:39:02,551 --> 00:39:05,012
You can't walk and you--
you can't go to the bathroom.
606
00:39:05,012 --> 00:39:06,889
I mean, that's-- that's real.
607
00:39:06,889 --> 00:39:08,557
Slowly forward.
608
00:39:11,018 --> 00:39:14,062
Beautiful. Awesome. I know you can do it.
609
00:39:14,646 --> 00:39:16,148
- Oh, I can do it. That's the thing--
- Right?
610
00:39:16,148 --> 00:39:18,442
That's the thing that kills me,
is just that-- that they're not--
611
00:39:18,442 --> 00:39:20,569
- The instant lack of control.
- Right.
612
00:39:20,569 --> 00:39:22,279
It's not like,
"I'm losing control, I'm losing control."
613
00:39:22,279 --> 00:39:23,864
- It's like, boom! I'm flying--
- So, that's what we--
614
00:39:23,864 --> 00:39:28,035
But that's what we always talk about is
that, your speed, because of who you are.
615
00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:31,288
- I wanna get it done. Yeah.
- Just slow it down, slow it down.
616
00:39:31,288 --> 00:39:35,334
Because you're athletic enough
to then have time to compensate
617
00:39:35,334 --> 00:39:38,462
- for something that goes wrong.
- Yeah, why dash when you can flush?
618
00:39:38,462 --> 00:39:41,089
Right. [laughs] See? That was even better.
619
00:39:41,089 --> 00:39:44,218
Talking to you as a movie star
is different than talking to you as a TV--
620
00:39:44,218 --> 00:39:46,345
Well, I-- I'm much--
I'm much more impressive now. [chuckles]
621
00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:48,972
Well, you are. Has-- Has your life
changed because of this?
622
00:39:48,972 --> 00:39:50,140
Not really. Not really.
623
00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:52,351
- To Joan.
- To who?
624
00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:53,810
Joan. J-O-A-N.
625
00:39:54,645 --> 00:39:56,230
[interviewer]
Whether it's signing an autograph
626
00:39:56,230 --> 00:39:58,440
or dashing off to your next interview,
627
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,902
it's all part of selling Michael J. Fox
and the movie.
628
00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:10,911
His family must have
wondered how he'd turn out
629
00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:12,621
when he dropped out of high school.
630
00:40:13,121 --> 00:40:16,583
[parent] When we go down to visit him, we
try and spend our time with Michael and,
631
00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:20,337
uh, we'll go with him to--
to any such events that he wants us to.
632
00:40:20,337 --> 00:40:22,714
But, uh, no, we don't, uh-- [sniffs]
633
00:40:23,215 --> 00:40:25,843
We don't get tied up in the show business
end of it all, really.
634
00:40:26,426 --> 00:40:28,637
[interviewer]
In the backyard, he's just Mike Fox,
635
00:40:28,637 --> 00:40:31,974
not the star,
Michael J. Fox people have come to know.
636
00:40:31,974 --> 00:40:35,519
He says trips home from Los Angeles
help keep his feet on the ground.
637
00:40:36,436 --> 00:40:39,273
They're not gonna let me get away
with being a-- a-- a jerk.
638
00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:41,191
[director 1] Very quiet, please.
639
00:40:44,236 --> 00:40:47,990
I guess you could say I've always wanted
to excel, even-- even as a small--
640
00:40:47,990 --> 00:40:51,827
No, no. Ready. Count me down again
will you, Andy? I gotta get--
641
00:40:51,827 --> 00:40:55,330
[Andy] Five, four, three, two.
642
00:40:55,831 --> 00:40:58,083
I don't know, I guess you could say
I've always wanted to excel,
643
00:40:58,584 --> 00:40:59,793
even as a small boy.
644
00:41:00,669 --> 00:41:03,046
I mean, it-it wasn't the winning
that mattered to me...
645
00:41:05,132 --> 00:41:08,051
it-it was the pure enjoyment
of the competition.
646
00:41:09,428 --> 00:41:11,430
And I've always felt
that deep in my heart--
647
00:41:12,723 --> 00:41:13,932
[foot stomps]
648
00:41:14,641 --> 00:41:17,186
Totally losing momentum.
Can we just start from the top?
649
00:41:17,853 --> 00:41:20,272
- [Andy] Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Trying to get a kick on this.
650
00:41:21,315 --> 00:41:25,360
[Fox] On the set of Family Ties,
I was welcomed back like the prodigal son.
651
00:41:26,028 --> 00:41:28,155
I was the star, after all.
652
00:41:28,155 --> 00:41:29,615
[director 2]
Mikey, you're gonna do this now?
653
00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:32,284
It just occurred to me,
it doesn't work over there.
654
00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:33,452
Does this bother you?
655
00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:35,621
- Does this screw you?
- [director 2] Uh, no, we just gotta redo,
656
00:41:35,621 --> 00:41:36,997
- uh, more shots.
657
00:41:36,997 --> 00:41:38,498
- How many?
- [director 3] Thirty-eight.
658
00:41:38,498 --> 00:41:41,168
[Fox] And while I would have never dreamed
of lording it over anyone,
659
00:41:41,168 --> 00:41:43,879
the fact is, I could get away
with the most outrageous behavior.
660
00:41:43,879 --> 00:41:47,925
And so, I'm just trying to understand,
and say if that's-- If, you know--
661
00:41:47,925 --> 00:41:51,178
If-- If you have specific things
that-- that are wrong,
662
00:41:51,178 --> 00:41:53,347
let me know because, at this point,
I'm confused.
663
00:41:54,681 --> 00:41:56,308
[Fox] I was the "boy prince of Hollywood."
664
00:41:56,808 --> 00:42:00,145
I was big. I was bigger than bubble gum.
665
00:42:00,145 --> 00:42:02,272
You think it's made out of brick and rock,
but it's not.
666
00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,149
It's made out of paper and feathers.
667
00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:06,360
It's an illusion.
668
00:42:08,654 --> 00:42:10,113
[audience laughing]
669
00:42:11,865 --> 00:42:13,575
[whistles]
670
00:42:15,494 --> 00:42:16,370
Yes?
671
00:42:17,663 --> 00:42:22,543
Ah. Uh, Alex P. Keaton,
Sophomore Hospitality Committee.
672
00:42:22,543 --> 00:42:23,877
- [audience laughs]
- Congratulations.
673
00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:29,675
[sighs] Ah. No. Excuse me. Uh, do you mind
if I wait around here for a while?
674
00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:31,593
Yeah, I suppose.
675
00:42:31,593 --> 00:42:34,096
[Fox] That's when Tracy Pollan
came into my world.
676
00:42:37,558 --> 00:42:38,934
Having trained in the New York theater,
677
00:42:38,934 --> 00:42:41,311
Tracy brought a grounded quality
to the work.
678
00:42:41,311 --> 00:42:43,981
[chewing noisily]
679
00:42:43,981 --> 00:42:46,441
Put that down.
Can't you see I'm painting that?
680
00:42:46,441 --> 00:42:48,318
[audience laughing]
681
00:42:48,318 --> 00:42:51,613
[Fox] It was in stark contrast
to my "just go for the laugh" approach.
682
00:42:51,613 --> 00:42:54,908
What do you call it? "Find the Apple"?
[chuckles]
683
00:42:57,077 --> 00:42:59,371
I'd explain the concept
of abstract art to you,
684
00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:01,248
but I have a feeling
I'd be wasting my time.
685
00:43:02,666 --> 00:43:04,960
[talk show host]
You were not the typical casting choice.
686
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,213
You were not perky,
you were not a vacuous blonde,
687
00:43:08,213 --> 00:43:10,716
- you weren't a wiseacre kind of--
- Right.
688
00:43:10,716 --> 00:43:12,801
- kind of person. You agree?
- [sighs] I agree.
689
00:43:12,801 --> 00:43:15,637
I was actually very surprised
to be cast on the show.
690
00:43:15,637 --> 00:43:19,141
I didn't-- I don't know if I would
have cast me on the show. [chuckles]
691
00:43:19,141 --> 00:43:22,186
- Why did they? What was it about you--
- Well, I think that, um--
692
00:43:22,186 --> 00:43:24,146
that they wanted somebody who was
693
00:43:24,146 --> 00:43:27,900
very different from--
from the character of Alex.
694
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,361
And, um... [smacks lips] ...I think that they,
695
00:43:31,945 --> 00:43:34,156
I don't know, just saw something
different in me.
696
00:43:36,491 --> 00:43:38,493
[Fox] One day we broke for lunch.
697
00:43:39,494 --> 00:43:41,622
{\an8}Women, life, death, art.
698
00:43:45,709 --> 00:43:49,296
Places, please. Places for E.
Five, four, three...
699
00:43:49,296 --> 00:43:51,757
[Fox] After lunch,
we picked up where we left off.
700
00:43:51,757 --> 00:43:53,884
Here we go. Ready and action.
701
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:57,095
I, uh, I-- I got you something.
702
00:43:58,222 --> 00:43:59,139
You did?
703
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:02,518
- They were having a sale on Picassos.
- [audience laughing]
704
00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:06,980
So, I got you one.
705
00:44:08,899 --> 00:44:11,693
This-- [laughs]
This was very sweet of you.
706
00:44:14,488 --> 00:44:17,199
[Fox] The moment she said her first line,
I detected a hint of garlic
707
00:44:17,199 --> 00:44:20,077
and sensed an opportunity
to have a little fun at her expense.
708
00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:23,080
"Whoa, a little scampi for lunch, babe?"
709
00:44:24,706 --> 00:44:26,166
At first, she said nothing.
710
00:44:26,166 --> 00:44:27,876
Her expression didn't even change.
711
00:44:29,044 --> 00:44:31,255
But looking me dead in the eye,
she said slowly,
712
00:44:31,755 --> 00:44:36,802
"That was mean and rude, and you're
a complete and total fucking asshole."
713
00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:48,397
- Oh, hi, Ellen. Hey, are you ready to go?
- Hi. Yeah, let's go.
714
00:44:48,397 --> 00:44:49,481
Okay. [chuckles]
715
00:44:50,983 --> 00:44:51,900
Yeah.
716
00:44:55,821 --> 00:44:57,447
[Fox] Nobody talked to me that way.
717
00:44:59,324 --> 00:45:02,911
This woman was completely unintimidated
by whoever I thought I was.
718
00:45:03,662 --> 00:45:06,582
A pig is a pig no matter how many
hit movies he's just had.
719
00:45:08,834 --> 00:45:11,670
[Guggenheim]
So, was she right? Were you a dick?
720
00:45:13,714 --> 00:45:15,424
I-- I was-- I was a bit of a dick.
721
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,137
She was joking, but I didn't get it,
722
00:45:20,137 --> 00:45:22,347
because no one would ever joke
with me like that.
723
00:45:22,347 --> 00:45:24,141
I was not the butt of any jokes.
724
00:45:27,311 --> 00:45:29,897
And she just went,
"I'm gonna poke through that and get--
725
00:45:29,897 --> 00:45:33,358
You're-- You're-- You're
a scared little kid under this shit,
726
00:45:33,358 --> 00:45:35,611
and then I'll just--
I'll just call you out."
727
00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:41,617
In-- In that moment,
I fell in love with her.
728
00:45:46,788 --> 00:45:47,623
All right.
729
00:45:47,623 --> 00:45:52,920
- Let me just, uh, um, right, uh, just--
- [breathing heavily]
730
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,129
Right.
731
00:45:54,129 --> 00:45:55,214
["Strange Magic" playing]
732
00:45:55,214 --> 00:45:57,424
All right, okay, not bad.
733
00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:59,801
Just, uh, okay. [stammers]
734
00:46:01,094 --> 00:46:03,347
All right, okay, yep. All right. Give me--
735
00:46:03,972 --> 00:46:04,973
Okay.
736
00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:07,726
There we go. Gently, gently.
737
00:46:09,061 --> 00:46:10,896
[inhales sharply] Ah.
738
00:46:12,189 --> 00:46:13,190
Piece of cake.
739
00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:16,568
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
740
00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:18,987
Alex, I've never met anybody like you.
741
00:46:19,821 --> 00:46:23,659
I mean, it's like you have a way of seeing
right through me. [breathes heavily]
742
00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:26,245
I'm seeing a part of me that I-I-I don't--
743
00:46:26,245 --> 00:46:28,705
I don't even like to admit exists,
and that scares me.
744
00:46:35,170 --> 00:46:38,674
[Fox] Then Tracy got a part in a film
I was about to shoot in Manhattan.
745
00:46:38,674 --> 00:46:40,050
[Vicky laughing]
746
00:46:40,050 --> 00:46:41,635
[Fox] We'd hang out on the set together.
747
00:46:41,635 --> 00:46:43,178
So, tell me about your job.
748
00:46:43,178 --> 00:46:44,847
I guess I'm supposed to be
pretty impressed, huh?
749
00:46:44,847 --> 00:46:46,056
Uh, don't be.
750
00:46:46,056 --> 00:46:49,768
[Fox] She had a front-row seat
to view the whirlwind my life had become.
751
00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:51,979
Tracy appreciated the toll it was taking.
752
00:46:53,146 --> 00:46:54,731
The mistake would be to lose myself
753
00:46:54,731 --> 00:46:56,859
in the middle of the party
that was now my life.
754
00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:02,573
- You have my number, right?
- Right.
755
00:47:02,573 --> 00:47:03,699
You should call me.
756
00:47:04,783 --> 00:47:05,784
Yeah, I'd like to.
757
00:47:21,842 --> 00:47:24,720
- [Alex] I love you.
- [Ellen] I love you too.
758
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:25,804
[Alex sighs]
759
00:47:26,388 --> 00:47:29,725
Well... [sighs] ...we love each other.
760
00:47:30,517 --> 00:47:32,186
W-W-W-We said it, we know it.
761
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:36,815
I mean, that's all that's important.
It doesn't matter what happens now.
762
00:47:39,443 --> 00:47:40,485
What happens now?
763
00:47:51,663 --> 00:47:54,124
- Look at this.
- [Guggenheim] Hold it up.
764
00:47:55,834 --> 00:48:01,131
It's funny you say-- It said,
signed to Norm or Fred or something.
765
00:48:01,131 --> 00:48:06,678
Um. Yeah, I got it at, uh,
um, the Strand bookstore for a dollar.
766
00:48:06,678 --> 00:48:07,596
[Guggenheim laughs]
767
00:48:07,596 --> 00:48:11,517
Once we got together, I just--
I was the most in love person. I still am.
768
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:15,312
You need to answer. There's, like,
so many texts that you need to answer.
769
00:48:15,312 --> 00:48:17,439
- Yeah.
- You need to respond to that.
770
00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:18,524
[laughs]
771
00:48:19,358 --> 00:48:21,276
And you need to resp-- Wait.
772
00:48:21,276 --> 00:48:22,486
It gets better. [mumbles]
773
00:48:22,486 --> 00:48:25,155
This is four texts from Aquinnah
that you haven't responded to.
774
00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:26,365
I know, I tried to do it last night.
775
00:48:26,365 --> 00:48:28,492
- So just respond to that...
- Yeah. [mumbles]
776
00:48:28,492 --> 00:48:29,701
"Haven't seen you in a few days,
777
00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:31,745
- love you and miss you."
- And I can't wait to see you.
778
00:48:31,745 --> 00:48:33,121
- "Can't wait to see you."
- Let me see.
779
00:48:33,121 --> 00:48:35,999
Can't wait to see you.
Um. The beach awaits you.
780
00:48:37,292 --> 00:48:38,293
Okay.
781
00:48:40,629 --> 00:48:43,048
- "The beach awaits you"? No.
- Or something to that effect.
782
00:48:43,048 --> 00:48:44,925
Wait-- Waiting for you on the beach.
783
00:48:44,925 --> 00:48:46,510
I can't wait to get on the beach with--
784
00:48:46,510 --> 00:48:48,387
can't wait to hang out
on the beach with you.
785
00:48:48,387 --> 00:48:50,264
Can't wait to hang out at the beach
with you.
786
00:48:50,264 --> 00:48:51,348
[both chuckle]
787
00:48:52,432 --> 00:48:54,351
[Guggenheim]
Describe this human being to me.
788
00:49:03,026 --> 00:49:05,153
[grunts] Clarity.
789
00:49:05,696 --> 00:49:09,116
- "Can't wait to see you. Love you."
- Uh, love you. That's it.
790
00:49:10,117 --> 00:49:12,369
[laughing]
791
00:49:12,369 --> 00:49:13,453
[laughs]
792
00:49:13,453 --> 00:49:17,374
[Guggenheim]
I get a sense that she's no bullshit.
793
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:20,377
No, no, no. [chuckles] No bullshit.
794
00:49:20,377 --> 00:49:23,881
Who she is is just so locked in
'cause it's so honest.
795
00:49:23,881 --> 00:49:26,633
I could be the king of England
and she would be her.
796
00:49:27,259 --> 00:49:30,596
I could be-- I could be, uh, Elvis
and she would be her.
797
00:49:30,596 --> 00:49:32,848
You know what, you could put
a little bit of this in there.
798
00:49:33,432 --> 00:49:36,310
- Okay, mush it now. I'll hold the bowl.
- It's really hard.
799
00:49:36,310 --> 00:49:38,562
- It's kind of hurting my hand.
- I can't even hold the bowl.
800
00:49:38,562 --> 00:49:40,689
[sucks teeth, laughing]
801
00:49:40,689 --> 00:49:44,026
[Fox] When I'm with my family,
there's no sentimental line with them.
802
00:49:44,026 --> 00:49:46,570
There's no "Poor baby. Oh... [stammers]
803
00:49:46,570 --> 00:49:48,989
...I feel your pain, I feel so bad for you.
804
00:49:48,989 --> 00:49:50,782
You're a saint among men, and, uh"--
805
00:49:50,782 --> 00:49:52,743
That would be the worst thing
they could do to me.
806
00:49:52,743 --> 00:49:54,119
- Wait. Can I just tell you--
- What?
807
00:49:54,119 --> 00:49:55,412
I was just having a conversation.
808
00:49:55,412 --> 00:49:56,788
If you look through his phone,
809
00:49:56,788 --> 00:50:00,250
it's just, like, a million texts
that are never answered.
810
00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:03,795
[chuckling] Yeah, it's just me,
like, a bunch of times, like--
811
00:50:03,795 --> 00:50:05,464
- Asking questions?
- Every two weeks, I-- No.
812
00:50:05,464 --> 00:50:08,717
I'm just like, "Are you okay?
Like, sending so much love. Heart, heart."
813
00:50:08,717 --> 00:50:10,886
- And then no response. And then--
- And no response.
814
00:50:10,886 --> 00:50:12,429
But then about a week after, like,
815
00:50:12,429 --> 00:50:14,806
one of my, like,
"Love you so much, hope you're okay."
816
00:50:14,806 --> 00:50:17,351
It's this, like, really nice,
but just so random,
817
00:50:17,351 --> 00:50:20,604
he said, "I hope you are happy
with all your decisions."
818
00:50:20,604 --> 00:50:22,648
[all laughing]
819
00:50:22,648 --> 00:50:24,233
[Esmé] Okay, thanks.
820
00:50:25,150 --> 00:50:26,944
- [Pollan] It's good. Natural.
- You're a natural, Pops.
821
00:50:26,944 --> 00:50:28,654
- [Fox] What are you doing?
- You should think about
822
00:50:28,654 --> 00:50:29,863
doing this for a job.
823
00:50:29,863 --> 00:50:33,116
You know, you just turned into
a fortune cookie. [chuckles]
824
00:50:35,536 --> 00:50:36,954
When I answer, I go to a simple,
825
00:50:36,954 --> 00:50:38,747
"Hey, I love you too. Thinking about you.
How's it going?"
826
00:50:38,747 --> 00:50:40,791
- [Pollan] But you don't say it.
- I know, because it comes out--
827
00:50:40,791 --> 00:50:44,169
- it comes out... [speaking gibberish]
- [Pollan] You know, also-- [laughing]
828
00:50:44,169 --> 00:50:46,004
And then I go in and I'm, like--
So then I think,
829
00:50:46,004 --> 00:50:48,257
"Well, this isn't working out.
I'll do the-- push the buttons."
830
00:50:48,257 --> 00:50:50,259
- Then I get some website in China.
- [Sam] Yeah.
831
00:50:50,259 --> 00:50:55,430
[Pollan, Esmé laughing]
832
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:01,311
[Fox]
Pregnant one month after the wedding,
833
00:51:01,311 --> 00:51:02,813
Tracy found herself with a husband...
834
00:51:02,813 --> 00:51:03,814
[director 3] Action!
835
00:51:04,565 --> 00:51:06,191
Michael! [speaks indistinctly]
836
00:51:06,191 --> 00:51:08,068
[Fox] ...who, when he wasn't away on a job,
837
00:51:09,027 --> 00:51:11,572
was little more than
a narcoleptic Lamaze partner.
838
00:51:15,826 --> 00:51:16,952
[director 4] Michael.
839
00:51:20,622 --> 00:51:23,125
[music playing through baby mobile]
840
00:51:23,125 --> 00:51:25,210
[young Fox] This kid loves these horses.
841
00:51:26,628 --> 00:51:28,297
[laughs]
842
00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,800
A vicious ride.
843
00:51:39,558 --> 00:51:43,020
[vocalizing]
844
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:45,063
[interviewer 5] How's the family?
Give me the whole report of how--
845
00:51:45,063 --> 00:51:47,232
- how being a dad is.
- Being a dad is great.
846
00:51:47,232 --> 00:51:50,110
I'm sure that, you know, all the dads
out there know it's real cool.
847
00:51:50,110 --> 00:51:52,446
He's-- My son is, uh-- O-Our son.
848
00:51:52,946 --> 00:51:55,157
Uh, boy, I didn't do half the work.
849
00:51:55,157 --> 00:51:57,534
[interviewer 5] How are you doing
balancing the family and the work?
850
00:51:57,534 --> 00:51:58,744
You're still pretty much a workaholic.
851
00:51:58,744 --> 00:52:01,830
[people at event cheering, shouting]
Michael! Michael! Michael!
852
00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:05,959
[Fox] The rush that was my life then,
meant my bride...
853
00:52:08,045 --> 00:52:10,506
was wondering what in the hell
she'd gotten herself into.
854
00:52:11,590 --> 00:52:13,592
[interviewer 6]
Tracy, did you miss Michael the last year?
855
00:52:13,592 --> 00:52:15,886
Yeah. It's good to have him home again.
856
00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:19,515
- She's got a tiny version of me at home.
- Yeah, I got a miniature version of him...
857
00:52:20,557 --> 00:52:21,767
[Fox] Inside of a year,
858
00:52:21,767 --> 00:52:25,854
an exquisitely talented, 20-something
actress had become a single mother...
859
00:52:25,854 --> 00:52:28,690
It's about being content with who you are
and being content with your family
860
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:31,610
and, you know, loving yourself
and loving the people around you.
861
00:52:31,610 --> 00:52:33,987
[cheering continues]
862
00:52:33,987 --> 00:52:35,405
[Fox] ...while I was still free to work.
863
00:52:41,787 --> 00:52:44,873
Here I was, shooting my fifth film
in less than three years.
864
00:52:46,917 --> 00:52:48,752
But it was a sheltered, narrow existence.
865
00:52:48,752 --> 00:52:50,504
He's a chickenshit, man.
866
00:52:50,504 --> 00:52:51,672
[screaming]
867
00:52:51,672 --> 00:52:53,757
[Fox] Fueled by fear and isolation.
868
00:52:53,757 --> 00:52:55,467
[screaming]
869
00:52:56,969 --> 00:53:00,389
[Fox] Actors don't become actors because
they're brimming with self-confidence.
870
00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:02,057
Hey, good morning, Mr. Eastwood.
871
00:53:02,641 --> 00:53:05,727
[Fox] An actor's burning ambition
is to spend as much time as possible
872
00:53:05,727 --> 00:53:07,396
pretending to be somebody else.
873
00:53:08,021 --> 00:53:10,899
I think you ain't nothing
but a gutless yellow turd!
874
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:15,904
[Fox] For those of us lucky or unstable
enough to become professional performers...
875
00:53:15,904 --> 00:53:17,531
Who the hell do you think you are?
876
00:53:17,531 --> 00:53:20,576
...the uncertainty about who we really are
only increases.
877
00:53:21,076 --> 00:53:22,494
And you.
878
00:53:22,494 --> 00:53:23,620
[Fox] Gnawing at you always...
879
00:53:23,620 --> 00:53:25,414
[chuckles] You I don't know about.
880
00:53:25,414 --> 00:53:28,959
...is the belief that you're a fake.
A phony.
881
00:53:29,501 --> 00:53:31,837
- [grunting]
- I hate your movies.
882
00:53:31,837 --> 00:53:35,174
- [shushing]
- [crying]
883
00:53:35,174 --> 00:53:37,384
[interviewer] What is a typical,
if there is such a thing,
884
00:53:37,384 --> 00:53:40,262
day in the life of
Michael and Tracy and Sam?
885
00:53:40,262 --> 00:53:42,973
I get up and go to work,
I come home and everybody is asleep.
886
00:53:42,973 --> 00:53:45,517
- [laughs] That's about it.
- [interviewer laughing]
887
00:53:53,358 --> 00:53:55,986
[Fox] Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
888
00:53:57,946 --> 00:54:01,950
[breathing shakily]
889
00:54:08,081 --> 00:54:09,958
"My father had been rushed
to the hospital.
890
00:54:11,293 --> 00:54:14,004
Dad hadn't been feeling well
for the last month or so.
891
00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:17,966
His heart gave out first,
then his kidneys began to fail.
892
00:54:19,885 --> 00:54:25,098
I couldn't know that day in 1990
that I was stepping across a threshold."
893
00:54:26,558 --> 00:54:27,559
Sorry.
894
00:54:28,644 --> 00:54:29,645
[grunts]
895
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,485
Stuff like that just hits you like a--
You're going through this stuff and you--
896
00:54:36,485 --> 00:54:39,154
Something like that pops out
and you're so, like-- like--
897
00:54:40,739 --> 00:54:44,826
like that's-- that's three sentences
and, like, 10,000 pounds of stuff.
898
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:51,542
[Guggenheim] What was the threshold?
899
00:54:53,043 --> 00:54:55,963
Threshold was adulthood. Like, real shit.
900
00:55:01,593 --> 00:55:02,719
Life.
901
00:55:05,556 --> 00:55:06,557
[fluttering]
902
00:55:10,435 --> 00:55:13,397
[Fox] For Christ's sake, Mike.
It's just your freaking finger.
903
00:55:14,064 --> 00:55:15,232
But that was the problem.
904
00:55:15,858 --> 00:55:18,652
It wasn't mine. It was somebody else's.
905
00:55:24,575 --> 00:55:26,577
[MRI scanner whirring]
906
00:55:46,138 --> 00:55:48,849
[Fox] The most paranoid fantasy I could
think of would not have prepared me
907
00:55:48,849 --> 00:55:52,019
for the two words the neurologist
bludgeoned me with that day.
908
00:55:55,147 --> 00:55:56,440
Parkinson's disease.
909
00:56:01,570 --> 00:56:04,072
And I said,
"You know who you're talking to, right?
910
00:56:04,573 --> 00:56:09,745
You know, I'm, like, not someone
who is supposed to get this."
911
00:56:12,956 --> 00:56:14,583
[Fox] He handed me a pamphlet.
912
00:56:16,168 --> 00:56:19,755
Which one had the incurable brain disease
was not clear, they both looked happy.
913
00:56:22,674 --> 00:56:26,762
He said some more words like,
"progressive," "degenerative,"
914
00:56:28,055 --> 00:56:29,056
"incurable."
915
00:56:30,766 --> 00:56:34,603
He said, "You-- You-- You lose this--
You lose this game. You don't win this."
916
00:56:35,145 --> 00:56:37,147
[siren wailing in distance]
917
00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:48,492
I remember standing on the street looking
for... [stammers] ...an answer.
918
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,704
It's just-- I just-- [stammering]
My world blew up.
919
00:56:56,333 --> 00:56:57,876
[Fox] I should have seen it coming,
920
00:56:58,961 --> 00:57:01,630
the cosmic price I had to pay
for all my success.
921
00:57:05,217 --> 00:57:06,844
I told Tracy the news.
922
00:57:11,682 --> 00:57:14,101
"In sickness and in health,"
I remember her whispering.
923
00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:25,904
[Dr. Bressman]
Now totally relax with the head.
924
00:57:27,197 --> 00:57:30,284
Okay, that's good. Yeah.
Now, look at my finger. Open up.
925
00:57:30,284 --> 00:57:31,368
Look over here.
926
00:57:32,411 --> 00:57:34,872
Yeah. Up, up, up. That's good.
927
00:57:37,416 --> 00:57:38,417
Go like this.
928
00:57:39,376 --> 00:57:40,752
Oh, you're good. Excellent.
929
00:57:40,752 --> 00:57:43,088
- Actually, that's very strong. Hold on.
- [Fox] I'm a strong man.
930
00:57:43,088 --> 00:57:45,215
- [Dr. Bressman] You're a strong man.
- [Fox] Very strong. [chuckles]
931
00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:47,426
So, you were getting dressed,
you were in a hurry,
932
00:57:47,426 --> 00:57:49,386
you went smack into the headboard?
933
00:57:49,386 --> 00:57:51,096
- [stutters] Headboard. Yeah.
- Okay.
934
00:57:51,096 --> 00:57:54,433
[Dr. Bressman]
So, when did you dislocate the shoulder?
935
00:57:54,433 --> 00:57:56,059
- Around the same time?
- Around the same time.
936
00:57:56,059 --> 00:57:59,104
It all happened in the--
It was like a festival of self-abuse.
937
00:57:59,104 --> 00:58:01,273
- You can do a tour of my house.
- [Dr. Bressman] Okay.
938
00:58:01,273 --> 00:58:03,483
- It's almost all in the same spot.
- [Fox] What's it matter?
939
00:58:03,483 --> 00:58:05,235
[Dr. Bressman] Okay, so squeeze my hand.
940
00:58:05,235 --> 00:58:06,862
- How does that feel?
- [Fox] Feels all right.
941
00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:07,988
I think we're gonna be fine.
942
00:58:07,988 --> 00:58:09,364
- [Dr. Bressman] You're gonna be fine?
- Yeah.
943
00:58:09,364 --> 00:58:11,033
They're not gonna have to
amputate anything or--
944
00:58:11,033 --> 00:58:12,492
- No, no. My head.
- Okay. Good.
945
00:58:12,492 --> 00:58:13,994
- Your head?
- My head, yeah.
946
00:58:13,994 --> 00:58:15,370
- [Pollan chuckling]
- [chuckles]
947
00:58:15,370 --> 00:58:16,371
[Dr. Bressman] Okay.
948
00:58:16,371 --> 00:58:18,248
[Fox] Tracy's the smartest person I know.
949
00:58:18,749 --> 00:58:20,834
She's learned to deal with a lot of stuff.
950
00:58:20,834 --> 00:58:23,837
How frustrating it must be
to have to bear the burden
951
00:58:23,837 --> 00:58:25,589
of something that isn't her burden.
952
00:58:26,089 --> 00:58:28,175
It's my burden, but she shares it with me.
953
00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:30,886
She not only shares it with me,
she takes on more than I take on.
954
00:58:30,886 --> 00:58:34,097
So, you take the first round
while you're still in bed?
955
00:58:34,097 --> 00:58:35,891
- No, out of bed.
- Out of bed. Okay.
956
00:58:36,642 --> 00:58:39,394
- Sometimes Michael likes to hold that off...
- [Dr. Bressman] Yeah.
957
00:58:39,394 --> 00:58:41,647
...if he's got something
that he needs to do.
958
00:58:42,439 --> 00:58:46,068
He thinks if he waits,
it's gonna kick in stronger and better.
959
00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:48,362
[Fox] Everything I go through,
she's gone through.
960
00:58:48,362 --> 00:58:51,073
And then I have to try to figure out
how to make it work.
961
00:58:51,573 --> 00:58:54,076
Like, I just have to feel it
and then-- and live it.
962
00:58:55,869 --> 00:58:57,704
I can walk a little bit though. Like that.
963
00:58:58,622 --> 00:59:00,165
[Fox] She has to make it work.
964
00:59:00,666 --> 00:59:02,334
- I'm walking, honey.
- [Pollan] You are.
965
00:59:04,670 --> 00:59:06,463
- Good job. [chuckles]
- [Fox chuckles] I know.
966
00:59:06,463 --> 00:59:08,507
- Is that this way?
- [Dr. Bressman] Yeah.
967
00:59:13,053 --> 00:59:14,513
Slow down a little. Okay.
968
00:59:25,858 --> 00:59:27,526
[Fox] I clung to fantasies of escape.
969
00:59:31,446 --> 00:59:33,824
That somehow my diagnosis
would turn out to be a mistake.
970
00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:40,205
[Fox] I was in my late 20s.
971
00:59:40,998 --> 00:59:44,209
How could I possibly
have this old person's disease?
972
00:59:45,627 --> 00:59:48,130
Symptoms include muscular rigidity,
973
00:59:48,130 --> 00:59:50,549
slowness and poverty of
movements and tremor,
974
00:59:52,509 --> 00:59:55,512
diminished blinking, and reduced
spontaneity of facial expression.
975
00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:02,561
I thought my diminished blinking and
reduced spontaneity of facial expression
976
01:00:02,561 --> 01:00:04,771
marked a growing comfort
in front of the camera.
977
01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:06,398
Less mugging, hamming it up.
978
01:00:07,524 --> 01:00:10,485
No, you weren't getting better.
Just sicker.
979
01:00:11,904 --> 01:00:15,199
What advice would you give to someone
that has the disease?
980
01:00:15,199 --> 01:00:18,702
The main thing is, is to be truthful,
first, with yourself.
981
01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:22,831
Here's Johnny.
982
01:00:22,831 --> 01:00:25,918
[studio audience cheering, whistling]
983
01:00:30,214 --> 01:00:33,217
[studio audience cheering, whistling]
984
01:00:35,719 --> 01:00:37,638
[Carson speaking indistinctly]
985
01:00:37,638 --> 01:00:42,184
[Fox] With no obvious cue, my left hand
would begin shaking uncontrollably.
986
01:00:44,269 --> 01:00:46,230
Now, anyway, let's move.
We've got a great show tonight.
987
01:00:46,230 --> 01:00:47,856
Mr. Michael J. Fox is with us.
988
01:00:47,856 --> 01:00:49,566
[studio audience cheering, whistling]
989
01:00:49,566 --> 01:00:52,361
[Fox]
I had my internist prescribe PD meds.
990
01:00:56,031 --> 01:00:59,034
Sinemet is taken up by the brain
and changed into dopamine,
991
01:00:59,785 --> 01:01:02,746
the neurotransmitter that a Parkinson's
patient can no longer produce
992
01:01:02,746 --> 01:01:03,997
in sufficient quantities.
993
01:01:05,415 --> 01:01:07,209
[Carson] Anyway,
I'm glad Michael Fox is here tonight.
994
01:01:07,209 --> 01:01:09,211
He's a most-talented young man, and, uh--
995
01:01:09,211 --> 01:01:11,880
[studio audience cheering, whistling]
996
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,423
[Carson] Would you welcome Michael J. Fox?
997
01:01:13,423 --> 01:01:16,510
[studio audience cheering, whistling]
998
01:01:18,762 --> 01:01:20,639
[Fox] Therapeutic value, even comfort,
999
01:01:20,639 --> 01:01:22,891
none of these was the reason
I took these pills.
1000
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,893
There was only one reason.
1001
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:27,855
Yeah.
1002
01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:28,772
[Fox] To hide.
1003
01:01:33,110 --> 01:01:35,112
I carried the pills around
loose and broken
1004
01:01:35,112 --> 01:01:37,322
in the pockets of my shirts and trousers.
1005
01:01:40,242 --> 01:01:41,493
Like Halloween Smarties.
1006
01:01:47,666 --> 01:01:51,003
Parkinsonian tremor occurs
when the affected limb is at rest.
1007
01:01:52,296 --> 01:01:55,883
I was able to mask the trembling
by twiddling an object in my left hand.
1008
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,096
Day after day, for hours on end.
1009
01:02:02,264 --> 01:02:04,349
Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh...
1010
01:02:07,186 --> 01:02:08,520
Sir, I-I can't hear you.
1011
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:11,064
There's s-- There's some kind of
a-- a ruckus outside.
1012
01:02:11,064 --> 01:02:13,150
[stammers]
Um, can I-- can I call you back?
1013
01:02:13,859 --> 01:02:17,112
[Fox] I never gave a second's thought
to sharing my diagnosis with anyone.
1014
01:02:17,988 --> 01:02:18,864
I had work to do.
1015
01:02:20,324 --> 01:02:24,077
And I intended to pretend as if
none of this was actually happening to me.
1016
01:02:25,621 --> 01:02:27,748
[Daniel] You can't do this to people.
1017
01:02:27,748 --> 01:02:31,835
You can't l-- lie and fake and manipulate.
I won't accept that.
1018
01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:39,218
Just this once,
I'm gonna let you off with a warning.
1019
01:02:42,471 --> 01:02:46,099
[young Fox] I like guys that are a little
too smart for their own good. [stammers]
1020
01:02:46,099 --> 01:02:49,144
You know, master manipulators who think
they're manipulating everybody else,
1021
01:02:50,812 --> 01:02:52,898
but are, in a way,
kind of manipulating themselves
1022
01:02:52,898 --> 01:02:54,733
into a situation they can't control.
1023
01:02:57,027 --> 01:02:59,738
[Fox] I became a virtuoso
at manipulating drug intake...
1024
01:03:05,410 --> 01:03:08,080
so that I'd peak
at exactly the right time and place.
1025
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:09,164
[imitates gunshot]
1026
01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:11,500
[bowling audience cheers]
1027
01:03:16,088 --> 01:03:17,089
I need more pills.
1028
01:03:19,925 --> 01:03:21,593
[Guggenheim]
You wanna take a break? [stammers]
1029
01:03:21,593 --> 01:03:26,181
Well, I mean, I should've stopped
ten minutes ago 'cause I need more pills.
1030
01:03:30,644 --> 01:03:32,521
- It'll just take two minutes.
- [Guggenheim] Yeah, yeah.
1031
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,735
You take the pill, then you're waiting.
And what does it feel like?
1032
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,907
Like waiting-- I always say
waiting for a bus. Waiting for the bus.
1033
01:03:43,907 --> 01:03:46,034
People will say, "What are you doing?"
I say, "I'm waiting for the bus."
1034
01:03:46,034 --> 01:03:47,286
And they know what I mean.
1035
01:03:51,999 --> 01:03:54,084
Yeah, it's kicking in now. It's nice.
1036
01:03:54,084 --> 01:03:56,170
Today's a quick-quick--
Quick kick-in today.
1037
01:03:56,170 --> 01:04:00,883
I'm a little-- still a little mumble
mouth, but-- but, um-- but I feel good.
1038
01:04:00,883 --> 01:04:02,593
I feel... [exhales sharply] ...still.
1039
01:04:02,593 --> 01:04:04,636
[Guggenheim] So, you're still waiting
for the bus, or you're on the bus?
1040
01:04:04,636 --> 01:04:07,097
No, I'm on the bus.
I'm putting in-- money in the thing.
1041
01:04:07,097 --> 01:04:10,976
[Guggenheim chuckling]
1042
01:04:10,976 --> 01:04:14,354
It's a great release. It's just, like,
you pour into the form that is you.
1043
01:04:15,230 --> 01:04:18,400
That-That-That you--
It gets filled with-with-with you again.
1044
01:04:20,235 --> 01:04:21,445
[director 5] Rolling, rolling.
1045
01:04:22,029 --> 01:04:23,030
[crew member] Speed.
1046
01:04:25,324 --> 01:04:26,366
[Fox] My body ached.
1047
01:04:27,201 --> 01:04:28,202
[director 5] Playback.
1048
01:04:29,494 --> 01:04:32,331
[Fox] I had been contorting it
into intensely uncomfortable positions
1049
01:04:32,331 --> 01:04:34,208
in order to mask the tremors.
1050
01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,417
[crew member 2] Okay, marker.
1051
01:04:36,585 --> 01:04:37,586
[door opens]
1052
01:04:42,382 --> 01:04:43,842
[young Sam] Okay, play again.
1053
01:04:45,719 --> 01:04:48,597
- I see "R-E-C."
- [door closes]
1054
01:04:49,181 --> 01:04:51,850
Yeah, that's... [chuckles] ..."record."
1055
01:04:51,850 --> 01:04:53,602
[Fox] My appetite was nonexistent.
1056
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:57,231
And I used that excuse
to avoid joining my family for dinner.
1057
01:04:57,231 --> 01:04:59,983
[Fox family speaking indistinctly,
chuckling]
1058
01:04:59,983 --> 01:05:03,695
[Fox] I thought that by thinking about
Parkinson's, I was hastening its arrival.
1059
01:05:13,205 --> 01:05:14,748
Instead, I drank to disassociate.
1060
01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:18,961
To escape my situation.
1061
01:05:23,715 --> 01:05:25,342
Parkinson's, it was hide-the-bottle time.
1062
01:05:25,342 --> 01:05:27,177
It was--
Like, I had bottles stashed in the garage,
1063
01:05:27,177 --> 01:05:29,555
and--
and-and I'd open two bottles of wine,
1064
01:05:29,555 --> 01:05:32,558
and Tracy would think we just drank one,
she didn't know I drank the other one.
1065
01:05:34,142 --> 01:05:35,477
[alarm ringing]
1066
01:05:35,477 --> 01:05:39,231
And I started to have a-- a margarita
before the last take.
1067
01:05:39,231 --> 01:05:40,524
Jack Daniel's, rocks, please.
1068
01:05:40,524 --> 01:05:42,109
[alarm ringing]
1069
01:05:42,109 --> 01:05:44,611
{\an8}For Love or Money, with Michael J. Fox,
starts out great
1070
01:05:44,611 --> 01:05:46,989
{\an8}and then gets all soft.
Regretfully though, thumbs-down.
1071
01:05:46,989 --> 01:05:49,867
With me, it isn't even a close call.
It's definitely thumbs-down.
1072
01:05:50,993 --> 01:05:52,244
And then things started to slip.
1073
01:05:54,246 --> 01:05:55,914
- [train whistle blows]
- [gasps]
1074
01:05:55,914 --> 01:05:58,292
[Ebert] Life with Mikey
doesn't tell much of a story.
1075
01:05:58,292 --> 01:06:01,420
I sat there wondering why Michael J. Fox
seemed to be without a clue
1076
01:06:01,420 --> 01:06:03,130
in a lot of his big scenes.
1077
01:06:05,424 --> 01:06:07,759
And here's another movie
that loses its way.
1078
01:06:07,759 --> 01:06:08,969
Greedy.
1079
01:06:08,969 --> 01:06:10,762
[Siskel]
Michael J. Fox fell for that old trap.
1080
01:06:11,930 --> 01:06:14,183
{\an8}They wanna play characters
who are really likable.
1081
01:06:14,183 --> 01:06:15,767
{\an8}- Why not play nasty?
- [Ebert] I agree. Yeah.
1082
01:06:15,767 --> 01:06:19,062
Make 'em hateful. People love you
when you play hateful characters.
1083
01:06:19,563 --> 01:06:20,480
- [grunts]
- Nicky!
1084
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,774
It's crap, Angie. It's crap.
1085
01:06:22,774 --> 01:06:24,568
It's another big-budget, big-box-office,
1086
01:06:24,568 --> 01:06:27,529
in-one-end, out-the-other,
easy-to-flush piece of crap.
1087
01:06:27,529 --> 01:06:29,656
I was sullen and angry.
1088
01:06:29,656 --> 01:06:32,910
There was one thing in a store.
This guy stepped in front of me.
1089
01:06:32,910 --> 01:06:35,204
And I said,
"Excuse me. What am I, fucking invisible?"
1090
01:06:35,204 --> 01:06:36,872
And he goes, "Yeah, you're invisible."
1091
01:06:36,872 --> 01:06:39,458
And I grabbed his shirt,
and I said, "Fuck you, man.
1092
01:06:39,458 --> 01:06:41,293
I'll take you outside
and take your head off."
1093
01:06:41,793 --> 01:06:45,380
And-And I said, "I'd love nothing more,
today, than-than to take your head off."
1094
01:06:45,380 --> 01:06:47,883
And he just backed off, and they all
went white and they walked out.
1095
01:06:47,883 --> 01:06:49,384
I said, "I can be that guy."
1096
01:06:52,012 --> 01:06:54,389
I didn't know what was happening.
I didn't know what was coming.
1097
01:06:56,850 --> 01:06:59,269
So, what if I could just
have four glasses of wine
1098
01:06:59,269 --> 01:07:01,772
and a-- [stammers] and-and m-maybe a shot?
1099
01:07:02,523 --> 01:07:05,317
- [Guggenheim] So, were you an alcoholic?
- Yeah, I was definitely an alcoholic.
1100
01:07:09,279 --> 01:07:12,074
But I've gone 30 years
without having a drink.
1101
01:07:14,368 --> 01:07:16,662
[Guggenheim]
What is the core of that behavior?
1102
01:07:17,287 --> 01:07:18,497
The core of that behavior is fear.
1103
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,546
[Fox] There was an urgency, an edge,
to that night's partying.
1104
01:07:26,421 --> 01:07:29,591
We were on our third pitcher of margaritas
by the time the director called "Wrap."
1105
01:07:34,721 --> 01:07:36,849
[young Fox groaning]
1106
01:07:41,728 --> 01:07:44,022
Oh, God.
1107
01:07:46,108 --> 01:07:49,570
[Fox] I saw feet. Tracy's feet.
1108
01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:52,531
The feet had on shoes.
Shit. What time was it?
1109
01:07:55,742 --> 01:07:57,619
I found no expression of rage.
1110
01:07:58,412 --> 01:08:00,831
She was meeting my sorry state
with indifference.
1111
01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,794
"Is this what you want?" she said.
1112
01:08:07,296 --> 01:08:08,714
"This is what you wanna be?"
1113
01:08:08,714 --> 01:08:11,842
[people at event clamoring]
1114
01:08:12,426 --> 01:08:14,595
[photographer 1] Okay, Michael, Tracy,
turn your head, please.
1115
01:08:15,846 --> 01:08:18,182
[Fox]
I'd never been so frightened in my life.
1116
01:08:18,182 --> 01:08:21,894
[photographer 1] Tracy. Tracy! Tracy!
1117
01:08:22,810 --> 01:08:25,147
[photographer 2]
Tracy, Tracy! Tracy, Tracy! Tracy!
1118
01:08:36,491 --> 01:08:38,285
[Fox] The bathtub became my refuge.
1119
01:08:40,328 --> 01:08:43,332
Day after day, for hours at a time.
1120
01:08:45,751 --> 01:08:48,462
I just wanted to keep my head below water.
1121
01:08:48,962 --> 01:08:51,173
I needed to suffer.
I needed to go as low as I could go.
1122
01:08:59,096 --> 01:09:02,309
All I could hear
was the muted splash of my trembling hand.
1123
01:09:06,104 --> 01:09:08,148
But as low as alcohol had brought me,
1124
01:09:09,816 --> 01:09:11,484
abstinence would bring me lower.
1125
01:09:12,236 --> 01:09:15,863
[breathing heavily]
1126
01:09:17,282 --> 01:09:19,201
I could no longer escape myself.
1127
01:09:23,747 --> 01:09:26,542
My first few years of sobriety
were like a knife fight in a closet.
1128
01:09:28,460 --> 01:09:29,627
[Guggenheim] What's the knife?
1129
01:09:31,087 --> 01:09:32,339
The truth.
1130
01:09:34,131 --> 01:09:36,885
Truth. I wasn't facing things.
1131
01:09:43,975 --> 01:09:46,395
[Fox]
I just wanted to be out of the world.
1132
01:09:47,854 --> 01:09:50,649
And I wanted to be in another place,
doing another thing.
1133
01:09:50,649 --> 01:09:53,734
[screaming]
1134
01:09:59,283 --> 01:10:01,827
[Fox] I ran away and did movies
in other parts of the world.
1135
01:10:03,745 --> 01:10:06,415
Can't pretend at home
that you don't have Parkinson's...
1136
01:10:09,251 --> 01:10:10,961
because you're just there with it.
1137
01:10:12,004 --> 01:10:14,006
If I'm out in the world,
and I'm dealing with other people...
1138
01:10:16,425 --> 01:10:19,553
and they don't know I have it,
then I don't have it.
1139
01:10:21,722 --> 01:10:23,891
But Tracy was really having a hard time
1140
01:10:23,891 --> 01:10:26,185
and really was
getting to the end of her rope.
1141
01:10:28,312 --> 01:10:29,313
{\an8}[baby babbling]
1142
01:10:31,857 --> 01:10:34,026
{\an8}[Fox] Because now we had twins.
1143
01:10:34,026 --> 01:10:35,777
{\an8}- [toy phone ringing]
- [toys beeping]
1144
01:10:35,777 --> 01:10:37,196
{\an8}[baby whines]
1145
01:10:37,196 --> 01:10:38,697
{\an8}[Fox] Aquinnah and Schuyler.
1146
01:10:41,366 --> 01:10:42,868
{\an8}And I get back to my family.
1147
01:10:43,493 --> 01:10:45,746
Sam was... [stammers]
...happy I was home, but mad at me.
1148
01:10:45,746 --> 01:10:49,958
{\an8}- [Pollan speaks indistinctly]
- Mom, I'm gonna try... [speaks indistinctly]
1149
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:51,168
{\an8}[young Fox] It's time.
1150
01:10:53,587 --> 01:10:54,588
{\an8}[Fox] So, what do I do?
1151
01:10:57,799 --> 01:10:59,801
{\an8}- Left turn.
- I think it's wobbling.
1152
01:10:59,801 --> 01:11:02,513
{\an8}[young Fox] You got it though.
You got it, you got it. You own it.
1153
01:11:02,513 --> 01:11:05,682
{\an8}You're on it. You're on it. Go, go, go.
Keep going. Go, go, go.
1154
01:11:05,682 --> 01:11:06,934
{\an8}[Fox] I made up my mind.
1155
01:11:17,569 --> 01:11:18,904
[Fox] I was going home to television.
1156
01:11:20,030 --> 01:11:23,867
And I thought, "Yeah, there's nothing like
to walk out into-- into a set
1157
01:11:23,867 --> 01:11:26,578
and drop a line
and have them go fucking crazy."
1158
01:11:26,578 --> 01:11:30,165
I just figured, since the Daily News
says we were seen eating dinner,
1159
01:11:30,165 --> 01:11:31,542
we might as well do it.
1160
01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:34,962
You know, the Post,
uh, says we're sleeping together.
1161
01:11:34,962 --> 01:11:36,630
[studio audience laughs]
1162
01:11:36,630 --> 01:11:38,966
- Did you get the last approval ratings?
- Right here, Mike.
1163
01:11:39,466 --> 01:11:43,595
[Fox] The reviews were terrific,
and ratings suggested long-term success.
1164
01:11:44,972 --> 01:11:45,973
{\an8}Whee!
1165
01:11:47,933 --> 01:11:50,853
{\an8}[Fox] With schedules that meshed perfectly
with the rhythms of my family.
1166
01:11:50,853 --> 01:11:52,104
{\an8}Schuyler, walk to me.
1167
01:11:53,146 --> 01:11:54,147
{\an8}[chuckles]
1168
01:11:54,815 --> 01:11:57,067
[studio audience laughs]
1169
01:11:57,067 --> 01:11:59,069
[Fox] And the situation was near perfect.
1170
01:11:59,069 --> 01:12:00,988
[Mike]
It's called "Spin." Power of persuasion.
1171
01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:03,115
Making people believe
what I want them to believe.
1172
01:12:03,115 --> 01:12:04,741
It's what I do. It is my gift.
1173
01:12:04,741 --> 01:12:05,868
You were amazing.
1174
01:12:05,868 --> 01:12:07,661
- Yeah, n-no problem.
- [sighs]
1175
01:12:07,661 --> 01:12:10,831
It was, uh--
It was fun pretending. [chuckles]
1176
01:12:10,831 --> 01:12:12,499
[studio audience laughs]
1177
01:12:15,961 --> 01:12:17,880
All right, the mayor prepared
to speak about the strike?
1178
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:18,922
I worked on it all night, Mike.
1179
01:12:20,674 --> 01:12:22,968
All right, sir. We're, uh--
We're going on earlier than we thought.
1180
01:12:28,348 --> 01:12:31,643
[Fox] The stress with doing a weekly show
in front of a studio audience
1181
01:12:33,020 --> 01:12:34,771
was exacerbating my symptoms.
1182
01:12:35,814 --> 01:12:37,983
The whole of my left arm
would be tremoring,
1183
01:12:39,401 --> 01:12:41,403
forceful enough to shake my entire body.
1184
01:12:43,530 --> 01:12:44,948
It would just twist you. [grunts]
1185
01:12:44,948 --> 01:12:46,867
Then I'd lie on the floor
twisting and waiting,
1186
01:12:46,867 --> 01:12:49,203
and I'd have an audience outside
waiting for me to go do a scene.
1187
01:12:49,203 --> 01:12:52,122
[studio audience muttering]
1188
01:12:52,122 --> 01:12:55,667
[Fox] I could not only hear their--
their feet shuffling, I could feel them.
1189
01:13:00,506 --> 01:13:02,216
Please, join us.
1190
01:13:02,216 --> 01:13:04,426
[Fox] All the while, I was doing the math.
1191
01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:08,597
How long since the last pill?
How long until it wears off?
1192
01:13:09,097 --> 01:13:10,349
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
1193
01:13:10,349 --> 01:13:11,475
[Fox] If the warning came
1194
01:13:11,475 --> 01:13:13,852
when I was in the middle of
a four- to five-minute scene,
1195
01:13:14,353 --> 01:13:17,481
there wasn't anything I could do
to stave off the return of my symptoms.
1196
01:13:20,317 --> 01:13:24,321
Fred, Joe,
pleasure to see you guys, as always.
1197
01:13:24,321 --> 01:13:25,280
I was just thinking...
1198
01:13:26,281 --> 01:13:28,283
[studio audience laughing]
1199
01:13:29,368 --> 01:13:32,246
[Fox] And still,
no one outside of my family knew.
1200
01:13:34,873 --> 01:13:36,333
I'm living a lie.
1201
01:13:36,333 --> 01:13:37,835
[studio audience laughing]
1202
01:13:37,835 --> 01:13:40,295
Can't go on with this.
This has gotta stop.
1203
01:13:42,297 --> 01:13:44,591
[studio audience laughing]
1204
01:13:44,591 --> 01:13:48,136
You start to feel people looking at you,
1205
01:13:48,762 --> 01:13:51,265
staring, judging,
1206
01:13:52,724 --> 01:13:55,561
gazing into the very recesses
of your soul.
1207
01:13:57,145 --> 01:13:59,857
- [crew member 1] Yeah, speed.
- [crew member 2] Roll cameras.
1208
01:13:59,857 --> 01:14:03,193
[bell ringing]
1209
01:14:03,193 --> 01:14:05,279
[people speaking indistinctly on set]
1210
01:14:10,909 --> 01:14:11,910
We're ready, Michael.
1211
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:13,871
- [crew member 3] Wait, how's that?
- [director] Good.
1212
01:14:13,871 --> 01:14:14,955
Here we go.
1213
01:14:20,711 --> 01:14:21,545
[thud]
1214
01:14:30,637 --> 01:14:33,182
To me, the worst thing is restraint,
1215
01:14:33,182 --> 01:14:38,687
and the worst thing is-- is to be confined
and-and not be able to have a way out.
1216
01:14:39,730 --> 01:14:41,690
And there were times when I went,
"There's no way out of this."
1217
01:14:43,192 --> 01:14:44,193
[thud]
1218
01:14:48,864 --> 01:14:51,325
[Fox] I'd spruce up the walls
with fist-sized holes.
1219
01:14:55,162 --> 01:14:57,748
[breathing heavily]
1220
01:15:04,713 --> 01:15:06,715
[breathing heavily]
1221
01:15:09,885 --> 01:15:11,762
You're only as sick as your secrets.
1222
01:15:16,350 --> 01:15:19,228
If you feel comfortable,
you can let go of the bar.
1223
01:15:19,228 --> 01:15:22,898
If you don't, try and keep the pressure
off that right hand.
1224
01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:25,150
Good. I'm here.
1225
01:15:26,151 --> 01:15:28,278
Good. Move your right foot
to the right a little bit.
1226
01:15:28,278 --> 01:15:30,239
- [breathes sharply]
- Even more. There you go.
1227
01:15:30,239 --> 01:15:31,323
[Guggenheim] So, what happened?
1228
01:15:31,323 --> 01:15:32,491
Let's see if you can stay here.
1229
01:15:32,491 --> 01:15:33,909
[Fox] I fucking hurt myself again.
1230
01:15:36,912 --> 01:15:39,164
I tripped over a carpet,
and I broke my hand,
1231
01:15:39,164 --> 01:15:40,832
and I had pins put in my hand.
1232
01:15:41,959 --> 01:15:43,836
But the area around the pins got infected,
1233
01:15:43,836 --> 01:15:46,421
and then there was the option of
just taking my finger off.
1234
01:15:49,716 --> 01:15:50,926
And then I broke my arm.
1235
01:15:52,594 --> 01:15:55,389
And the people around me were going,
"You gotta be careful."
1236
01:15:55,389 --> 01:15:57,057
I said, "This has nothing to do with
being careful.
1237
01:15:57,057 --> 01:15:58,392
This is just, like-- This happens.
1238
01:15:58,392 --> 01:16:01,019
You have Parkinson's, you trip over shit,
and you fall down."
1239
01:16:01,979 --> 01:16:04,064
Try and lift your chest
just a little bit more.
1240
01:16:04,064 --> 01:16:05,148
There you go.
1241
01:16:10,112 --> 01:16:12,406
- Nice job. Do you--
- Don't put Mikey in a corner.
1242
01:16:14,408 --> 01:16:19,079
[Guggenheim] When I find you
talking about the shitty stuff,
1243
01:16:19,079 --> 01:16:22,165
I see you sort of get close to it
and then dart away.
1244
01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:24,334
[chuckles]
1245
01:16:27,504 --> 01:16:29,298
Care-- Careful with this right hand.
1246
01:16:29,298 --> 01:16:30,382
[Fox] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
1247
01:16:30,966 --> 01:16:32,467
- Good. Have a seat.
- I'm okay.
1248
01:16:32,467 --> 01:16:33,844
- You want-- You sure?
- Yeah.
1249
01:16:36,346 --> 01:16:38,724
- This is where I can't use my-- [grunts]
- Right.
1250
01:16:39,308 --> 01:16:42,311
See, the-- the core is still there.
Those are obliques.
1251
01:16:42,311 --> 01:16:44,062
- Yeah.
- Right. How you feeling?
1252
01:16:45,105 --> 01:16:46,106
Okay.
1253
01:16:46,106 --> 01:16:49,109
[Guggenheim] I've interviewed you
for hours and hours and hours.
1254
01:16:49,109 --> 01:16:51,278
You've never told me once, "I'm in pain."
1255
01:16:54,114 --> 01:16:55,866
- I'm in pain.
- [Guggenheim] You are?
1256
01:16:55,866 --> 01:16:57,951
I'm in... [stammers] ...intense pain.
1257
01:16:58,952 --> 01:17:00,662
- [Orser] Five, four...
- [groans]
1258
01:17:00,662 --> 01:17:03,207
...three, two, one. And relax.
1259
01:17:03,207 --> 01:17:05,709
- [Fox] That's making it really hurt.
- [Orser] The shoulder? Here?
1260
01:17:05,709 --> 01:17:09,254
[Fox] Every-Every tremor is like--
is like a seismic j-jolt.
1261
01:17:09,254 --> 01:17:11,006
- [Orser] Do you wanna sit upright?
- Yeah, I do.
1262
01:17:11,006 --> 01:17:12,382
[Orser] Do you wanna sit in the chair?
1263
01:17:12,382 --> 01:17:14,593
- Anything but what I'm doing right now.
- [Orser] Okay.
1264
01:17:15,177 --> 01:17:16,470
[Guggenheim]
But why wouldn't you tell me--
1265
01:17:16,470 --> 01:17:18,430
- This is about us talking...
- Well, it didn't come up.
1266
01:17:18,430 --> 01:17:20,349
...and telling the truth.
Why wouldn't you tell me about your pain?
1267
01:17:20,349 --> 01:17:23,977
It didn't come up.
I'm not gonna lead with it. [chuckles]
1268
01:17:27,356 --> 01:17:28,524
Good. Don't plop.
1269
01:17:29,066 --> 01:17:31,235
No jolts. Good.
1270
01:17:33,195 --> 01:17:34,196
[Fox] I'm okay.
1271
01:17:35,989 --> 01:17:37,824
- I just wanna feel better.
- [Orser] Yeah.
1272
01:17:37,824 --> 01:17:40,327
And, uh, it seems to me I can--
I can see clearly--
1273
01:17:40,827 --> 01:17:42,871
more clearly the things I need to do
to feel better.
1274
01:17:43,830 --> 01:17:45,999
But it's this Michael J. Fox stuff.
1275
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,877
People express to me
that I make them feel better,
1276
01:17:48,877 --> 01:17:51,213
I make them do things
they might not otherwise do.
1277
01:17:51,213 --> 01:17:54,174
And that's-that's the most powerful thing
you could ever feel,
1278
01:17:54,174 --> 01:17:55,926
and that's a huge responsibility.
1279
01:17:56,468 --> 01:17:58,428
- And I don't want to fuck it up.
- Right.
1280
01:18:01,306 --> 01:18:05,644
It's okay not to be
Michael J. Fox sometimes.
1281
01:18:05,644 --> 01:18:06,728
[sighs]
1282
01:18:18,615 --> 01:18:21,702
[news presenter 1] Michael J. Fox
kept something very private.
1283
01:18:23,453 --> 01:18:25,205
Something about his health.
1284
01:18:25,205 --> 01:18:29,459
Now he's gone public with the fact
that he has Parkinson's disease.
1285
01:18:29,459 --> 01:18:32,087
[Brokaw] Michael J. Fox,
one of America's best-loved actors
1286
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:35,007
has decided to publicly announce that
he's been battling Parkinson's disease.
1287
01:18:35,007 --> 01:18:37,176
[news presenter 2] ...shocked the
entertainment world when he announced
1288
01:18:37,176 --> 01:18:39,261
he has been battling Parkinson's disease.
1289
01:18:39,261 --> 01:18:41,346
[news presenter 3]
...and has had it for seven years.
1290
01:18:42,890 --> 01:18:45,267
[Walters] Michael,
all this week we have been hearing
1291
01:18:45,267 --> 01:18:47,603
that you have this devastating disease,
1292
01:18:47,603 --> 01:18:51,315
that it is life-threatening,
that you are in the fight for your life.
1293
01:18:52,232 --> 01:18:53,901
Do you feel relieved now?
1294
01:18:54,484 --> 01:18:56,236
[Fox] Oh, my God. What have I done?
1295
01:18:58,405 --> 01:18:59,781
[news presenter 4] What is his prognosis?
1296
01:18:59,781 --> 01:19:02,034
[news presenter 5] Within ten years,
he will have serious disabilities.
1297
01:19:02,659 --> 01:19:04,703
[news presenter 6]
Balance problems with frequent falls.
1298
01:19:05,370 --> 01:19:07,497
[news presenter 7] I think he's got
a tough road ahead of him.
1299
01:19:10,125 --> 01:19:11,543
[Walters] Are you at all concerned
1300
01:19:11,543 --> 01:19:13,837
that now audiences
will look at you differently?
1301
01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,677
[Fox] This will be my first time
in front of a studio audience
1302
01:19:20,677 --> 01:19:22,346
since I disclosed my diagnosis.
1303
01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:28,810
My fear was that they would reject me,
and that they would not understand it,
1304
01:19:30,270 --> 01:19:31,939
that because I was sick,
I couldn't be funny.
1305
01:19:31,939 --> 01:19:34,191
[studio audience chattering]
1306
01:19:34,191 --> 01:19:36,902
And I had to hope
that they could accept me.
1307
01:19:38,111 --> 01:19:40,155
- [crew member 1] We got speed.
- [director] Roll cameras.
1308
01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:41,907
- [crew member 2] Mark.
- And action.
1309
01:19:47,120 --> 01:19:48,580
We meet again, Mr. Bond.
1310
01:19:58,090 --> 01:19:59,091
There.
1311
01:20:00,217 --> 01:20:01,677
Deal with that, Bobo Fischer.
1312
01:20:15,983 --> 01:20:19,027
- I knew that.
- [studio audience laughs]
1313
01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:21,947
That's a bold move.
1314
01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:25,117
[studio audience laughs]
1315
01:20:25,117 --> 01:20:27,202
And I got this huge reaction.
1316
01:20:28,036 --> 01:20:30,998
You have chosen poorly.
1317
01:20:30,998 --> 01:20:34,334
[studio audience laughing]
1318
01:20:36,170 --> 01:20:37,004
Checkmate.
1319
01:20:37,004 --> 01:20:39,590
Like, that's love that can't help itself.
1320
01:20:48,974 --> 01:20:52,019
D-Do you feel like you have a 90-year-old...
[stammers] ...like, dad, or...
1321
01:20:52,519 --> 01:20:55,606
'Cause I don't feel like 90 years old,
but I-- Well, you sometimes get mad at me.
1322
01:20:55,606 --> 01:20:57,441
Like, you guys all say,
"Be careful, be careful."
1323
01:20:57,441 --> 01:21:00,777
I say that I'm being careful. Like,
what, do I set out to not be careful?
1324
01:21:00,777 --> 01:21:03,488
Nobody thinks your agenda
isn't to be careful.
1325
01:21:03,488 --> 01:21:06,200
It's that that maybe isn't--
1326
01:21:07,367 --> 01:21:08,493
[chuckles] The first thing--
1327
01:21:08,493 --> 01:21:10,787
[Sam] It's lower on the list of things
than it is for us.
1328
01:21:11,371 --> 01:21:13,498
- So-- [chuckles]
- [chuckling]
1329
01:21:13,498 --> 01:21:16,251
So I just have to make sure, you know?
And I'd rather--
1330
01:21:17,002 --> 01:21:18,462
It's great if you understand
what I'm saying,
1331
01:21:18,462 --> 01:21:19,963
but I'd rather you don't fall over.
1332
01:21:19,963 --> 01:21:21,423
- I-- I'm working on it.
- Yeah.
1333
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:26,428
[Fox] I can look at myself, and I say,
"I have Parkinson's."
1334
01:21:27,095 --> 01:21:28,597
So, how do I wanna live with that?
1335
01:21:30,557 --> 01:21:32,434
But if I never get past the
"I have Parkinson's" part,
1336
01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,520
if I never get past the part
where I wake up in the morning
1337
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:36,480
and I go, "Yeah, that's real.
That's-That's happening,"
1338
01:21:37,105 --> 01:21:38,607
then I can't get past it.
1339
01:21:38,607 --> 01:21:41,443
You know, this is the first time
that I've had a chance to talk with--
1340
01:21:41,443 --> 01:21:44,071
the first time you've been on the show
since you had your press conference
1341
01:21:44,071 --> 01:21:45,405
- and announced that you, uh...
- Right.
1342
01:21:45,405 --> 01:21:46,532
...have Parkinson's disease.
1343
01:21:46,532 --> 01:21:48,033
- And I just-- I-I think folks...
- Yeah.
1344
01:21:48,033 --> 01:21:50,118
...uh, well, you know--
How's it been going since?
1345
01:21:50,118 --> 01:21:51,286
What was the reaction
of that announcement?
1346
01:21:51,286 --> 01:21:53,121
Pretty much the same.
It didn't-didn't change.
1347
01:21:53,121 --> 01:21:54,831
- I still have it. So...
- Yeah? [chuckles]
1348
01:21:59,044 --> 01:22:02,464
[Fox] After all those years of
hiding my symptoms, I could let it go.
1349
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:09,137
I suffer from a condition,
and it makes me do this,
1350
01:22:09,972 --> 01:22:12,850
and this, and... [exclaims]
1351
01:22:12,850 --> 01:22:14,810
- [jury chuckles]
- Uh-oh.
1352
01:22:15,310 --> 01:22:17,938
If you just look at me long enough,
you get used to it.
1353
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:21,733
I realized I didn't have to--
to do anything other than be myself.
1354
01:22:21,733 --> 01:22:23,735
Sometimes when I take
a little bit too much medication,
1355
01:22:23,735 --> 01:22:26,238
I get that kind of swaying thing.
I do the kind of Axl Rose thing.
1356
01:22:26,238 --> 01:22:27,781
- [Letterman chuckles]
- [audience laughing]
1357
01:22:27,781 --> 01:22:31,577
So, if you see that, you know, just kind
of hum "Paradise City" in your mind.
1358
01:22:31,577 --> 01:22:32,494
[Letterman chuckles]
1359
01:22:33,579 --> 01:22:37,624
[Fox] I was still me, people recognized.
Just me plus Parkinson's.
1360
01:22:38,709 --> 01:22:41,170
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1361
01:22:41,170 --> 01:22:42,838
- What the hell?
- You want?
1362
01:22:44,298 --> 01:22:46,008
Did you shake that up on purpose?
1363
01:22:46,925 --> 01:22:47,759
Parkinson's.
1364
01:22:49,761 --> 01:22:52,598
[Fox] Some people would view the news of
my disease as an ending.
1365
01:22:53,599 --> 01:22:56,518
But I was starting to sense that
it was really a beginning.
1366
01:22:57,102 --> 01:22:59,521
[news presenter 8] Actor Michael J. Fox
testified before Congress,
1367
01:22:59,521 --> 01:23:02,983
asking for an increase in research funding
for Parkinson's disease.
1368
01:23:04,276 --> 01:23:08,155
"I'm here to tell you that administering
a successful research program
1369
01:23:08,155 --> 01:23:09,448
is not rocket science.
1370
01:23:09,948 --> 01:23:13,619
It's mostly common sense and the will
to get things done. Thank you."
1371
01:23:14,161 --> 01:23:15,454
[person] Good stuff, Michael.
1372
01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:18,624
[Fox]
I never actually said this to anybody,
1373
01:23:18,624 --> 01:23:20,000
but I always fantasized saying it.
1374
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,753
"Yeah, you're bigger than me.
You'll beat me up.
1375
01:23:23,587 --> 01:23:26,089
But I'll hit you once, and you'll hurt."
1376
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,511
And I knew that moment.
1377
01:23:31,261 --> 01:23:32,262
[grunts]
1378
01:23:34,932 --> 01:23:38,477
[Brokaw] Muhammad Ali and
Michael J. Fox joining a chorus of voices
1379
01:23:38,477 --> 01:23:40,354
saying money is desperately needed.
1380
01:23:41,355 --> 01:23:45,025
I wanted to be in the world and-and not
take this and retreat from the world.
1381
01:23:45,734 --> 01:23:47,694
It made me realize
what I still have to give.
1382
01:23:47,694 --> 01:23:48,779
[people cheering]
1383
01:23:48,779 --> 01:23:51,448
Find it extremely moving--
no pun intended--
1384
01:23:51,448 --> 01:23:53,367
- to be here today and reach out...
- [audience laughs]
1385
01:23:54,034 --> 01:23:57,204
{\an8}[news presenter 9] The Fox Foundation has
revolutionized scientific philanthropy,
1386
01:23:57,788 --> 01:24:02,125
mobilized the Parkinson's community
and raised nearly two billion dollars.
1387
01:24:04,127 --> 01:24:06,630
- [babbles]
- [babbles]
1388
01:24:06,630 --> 01:24:10,551
[Fox] I was ten years after my Parkinson's
diagnosis when Esmé was born.
1389
01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:15,639
Hello, I... [babbles]
1390
01:24:15,639 --> 01:24:17,891
[Pollan]
Go see Daddy. Go give Daddy a kiss.
1391
01:24:18,559 --> 01:24:20,435
- [Aquinnah] Look at Dad.
- [Pollan] What's Daddy doing?
1392
01:24:20,435 --> 01:24:21,603
Look at Daddy, Esmé.
1393
01:24:21,603 --> 01:24:22,771
[Fox] The kids are the best,
1394
01:24:22,771 --> 01:24:25,607
because kids will just say,
"Will you stop moving around?"
1395
01:24:25,607 --> 01:24:27,693
[studio audience laughing]
1396
01:24:29,111 --> 01:24:31,780
[Letterman chuckling]
I'm sure. [chuckling]
1397
01:24:31,780 --> 01:24:34,950
I-- I say, "I'll give it a shot, hon."
1398
01:24:34,950 --> 01:24:36,702
[Letterman chuckles]
1399
01:24:36,702 --> 01:24:39,663
{\an8}[Fox family speaking indistinctly] Whoo!
1400
01:24:42,082 --> 01:24:43,083
- No.
- In love.
1401
01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:45,711
- No. [chuckles] They're... [chuckles]
- They're flying.
1402
01:24:45,711 --> 01:24:47,379
- They're dancing.
- [Pollan] Okay, good.
1403
01:24:47,379 --> 01:24:49,548
- Would you guys like to switch teams...
- But what--
1404
01:24:49,548 --> 01:24:52,092
...because we've been winning,
or do you wanna keep the same teams?
1405
01:24:52,092 --> 01:24:54,178
- I like the teams we're on, but...
- [chuckles]
1406
01:24:54,178 --> 01:24:56,221
- I'm tragic at this game.
- It's not her fault. It's my fault.
1407
01:24:56,221 --> 01:24:57,639
[Schuyler] But I was thinking-- Yeah.
1408
01:24:57,639 --> 01:24:58,557
Do you see it?
1409
01:24:58,557 --> 01:25:00,184
- Oh, yeah.
- You got it?
1410
01:25:02,895 --> 01:25:03,812
You.
1411
01:25:04,313 --> 01:25:05,814
- You got it already?
- [Pollan] Yeah.
1412
01:25:05,814 --> 01:25:07,024
I just had me.
1413
01:25:07,649 --> 01:25:08,817
It was me?
1414
01:25:08,817 --> 01:25:10,110
[Pollan] It was me, not you.
1415
01:25:10,110 --> 01:25:12,154
- He thinks it was "Michael J. Fox."
- [Schuyler chuckles]
1416
01:25:12,154 --> 01:25:15,949
[all laughing]
1417
01:25:15,949 --> 01:25:18,243
The thing about motion with me is,
I've always been moving,
1418
01:25:18,243 --> 01:25:19,912
and maybe that's because I'm small.
1419
01:25:19,912 --> 01:25:22,456
I've always been moving,
and I always counted on movement
1420
01:25:22,456 --> 01:25:24,791
to not only propel me from place to place,
1421
01:25:24,791 --> 01:25:28,545
but to express myself as I propelled
from place to place, and to be who I am.
1422
01:25:37,554 --> 01:25:41,183
But the thing that I learned
was that I couldn't be s-still in my life.
1423
01:25:41,183 --> 01:25:43,477
I couldn't be present in my life.
1424
01:25:52,361 --> 01:25:54,696
Until I found this--
this thing happened to me
1425
01:25:54,696 --> 01:25:56,657
that made me present
in every moment of my life,
1426
01:25:56,657 --> 01:25:57,783
because it was shaking me awake.
1427
01:26:01,161 --> 01:26:02,162
There you go.
1428
01:26:10,629 --> 01:26:11,713
[Fox, Pollan chuckle]