1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,043
[theme music playing]

2
00:00:18,584 --> 00:00:21,543
You engaged in copulatory shenanigans
with Godcat?

3
00:00:21,626 --> 00:00:24,001
-Gross.
-You know how weddings are.

4
00:00:24,084 --> 00:00:26,418
We had some drinks.
We slow-danced to Snow Patrol.

5
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:29,293
Their soft yet rocking jams
can turn on anyone's faucet.

6
00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:31,459
-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know.

7
00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:33,293
-Are you telling Godcat?
-I don't know!

8
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:37,209
The final challenge begins
in five minutes.

9
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:41,126
Also, if you're the owner of
a white unicorn with the rainbow buttocks,

10
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,834
-your unicorn is being towed.
-Oh.

11
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,876
[hyperventilating]

12
00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:47,668
Okay, listen to me.
Everything you said was true.

13
00:00:47,751 --> 00:00:51,668
You are the best one for this job.
You were born to do this.

14
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,793
Okay. Yeah, you're right.

15
00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:56,209
I can be supreme leader
of Heaven and Hell.

16
00:00:56,293 --> 00:01:01,084
I interned at Disney,
for God's sake. I can do this. [grunting]

17
00:01:01,168 --> 00:01:03,209
-Oops. Sorry. Hormones.
-[crowd cheering]

18
00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:05,918
Come on. How is that not a penalty?

19
00:01:06,001 --> 00:01:10,459
Okay. Well, she looks pretty psyched up,
so we have to be too. Let's go.

20
00:01:10,543 --> 00:01:12,084
I'm out, okay?

21
00:01:12,168 --> 00:01:16,126
I lost my best friend
slash gaming buddy slash business partner.

22
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,459
[sobs]

23
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,834
You see, we invented
these high-heeled shoes for teenage boys.

24
00:01:20,918 --> 00:01:23,626
Now Bro-lettos will never hit the market.

25
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,001
Oh, come on. I can motivate you.

26
00:01:26,084 --> 00:01:28,793
Um… You have an incredible physique,

27
00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:31,501
like a sweaty ottoman
with hot dogs for arms.

28
00:01:31,584 --> 00:01:33,751
See? Okay, let's go!

29
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:35,126
[Travis groaning]

30
00:01:35,209 --> 00:01:37,959
[grunting]

31
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:40,293
Herb, tell me what is going on.

32
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,501
Well, I've been doing this thing
called embezzling.

33
00:01:43,584 --> 00:01:47,209
It's like bamboozling,
but, uh, with mathematics.

34
00:01:47,293 --> 00:01:49,459
Anyhow, turns out I'm bad at it.

35
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:54,418
So when the ax was about to fall,
I decided to fake my own death,

36
00:01:54,501 --> 00:02:00,251
and who better to leave holding the bag
than that speed bump with eyelids,

37
00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:02,293
Marv Higgins.

38
00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:04,459
But you can't betray your own child.

39
00:02:04,543 --> 00:02:06,876
Even if they aren't exactly
what you thought they'd be,

40
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,626
you… you love them no matter what.

41
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,251
Got to be honest, Abbie,

42
00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:14,126
feels like maybe
you're projecting just a wee bit there.

43
00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:16,793
Ooh. Wait. Aw, dang it.

44
00:02:16,876 --> 00:02:21,043
I just told you my whole evil plan.
Well, I have to kill you now.

45
00:02:21,126 --> 00:02:25,251
Ugh! That is totally going to cut in
on date night with the wife.

46
00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:29,251
Nancy, don't be rude.
introduce yourself to Abbie.

47
00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:32,334
Herb, you seem unwell.

48
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,293
[chuckling] I'm fine.

49
00:02:34,376 --> 00:02:36,834
Ever since I stopped huffing mulch fumes,

50
00:02:36,918 --> 00:02:40,043
the hallucinations have slowed way down.

51
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,751
Now, come on. I knew I put-- Oh!

52
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,793
-[ominous music playing]
-[grunting]

53
00:02:45,293 --> 00:02:48,543
This chemical cheese hardens in seconds,

54
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:52,043
so when I drop you
into the Big Bulk lagoon, [chuckles]

55
00:02:52,126 --> 00:02:55,293
you'll sink faster
than my balls in a hot tub.

56
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,459
[groans]

57
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,459
-[crowd cheering]
-[gong tolls]

58
00:02:58,543 --> 00:03:01,334
Ladies and gentlemen, angels and demons,

59
00:03:01,418 --> 00:03:04,668
gold-winged celestials
and sock-stealing dryer goblins.

60
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:05,751
This is it.

61
00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,834
The final event of the tournament.

62
00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:11,918
Who will be our new CEO?

63
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:14,251
[crowd cheering]

64
00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:17,543
-[wolf whistle]
-[screaming]

65
00:03:17,626 --> 00:03:19,168
For your final challenge,

66
00:03:19,251 --> 00:03:22,001
to prove that mortals
can do the impossible

67
00:03:22,084 --> 00:03:24,209
when guided by the hand of God,

68
00:03:24,293 --> 00:03:26,709
you must make your counterpart…

69
00:03:27,626 --> 00:03:29,209
[all yelling] Go against human nature!

70
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,543
[buzzer sounding]

71
00:03:31,626 --> 00:03:34,334
Oh no. I should've known.
This is a fan favorite.

72
00:03:34,418 --> 00:03:37,168
The board figures out the hardest thing
for the human counterpart,

73
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,584
then the god has to make them go
against human nature to do it. But it's--

74
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,418
[moaning, groaning]

75
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,626
Are you okay? Should we get a doctor?

76
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:45,668
I don't want your help.

77
00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:47,584
You're the one that got me into this mess.

78
00:03:47,668 --> 00:03:49,709
You and those butt clowns
from Snow Patrol.

79
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:51,626
[sighing] Fucking soft rock.

80
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,043
-Fucking motherfuckers.
-What an odd thing to say.

81
00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:55,126
Eh, not really.

82
00:03:55,209 --> 00:03:57,668
Have you listened to their new album?
It's rap metal.

83
00:03:57,751 --> 00:03:58,959
[dramatic music playing]

84
00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:01,084
Herb, you don't want to do this!

85
00:04:01,168 --> 00:04:03,293
Abbie, I'm sorry, but…

86
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,751
-[screaming]
-[Marv yelling]

87
00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:08,668
[both grunt]

88
00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:10,168
[Abbie panting]

89
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,626
Marv… [chuckling]

90
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,293
…how did you find me?

91
00:04:13,376 --> 00:04:16,584
It all started 20 minutes ago.

92
00:04:16,668 --> 00:04:19,293
[suspenseful music playing]

93
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:20,209
Hmm.

94
00:04:22,626 --> 00:04:23,501
[music ends]

95
00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:24,793
That's the whole story?

96
00:04:24,876 --> 00:04:28,876
You walked into the garden department
because you saw my melted ice cream?

97
00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:32,293
Well, I also drank it,
but that's neither here nor there.

98
00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:34,626
-[horn honks]
-Marv, son,

99
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,751
I'm so glad to see you.

100
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:41,293
Dad! Thank goodness you're alive.
When you blew up, I was so sad.

101
00:04:41,376 --> 00:04:45,876
He didn't blow up. He faked his death
so he could leave you holding the bag.

102
00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:49,084
Son, your wife has clearly gone crazy.

103
00:04:49,168 --> 00:04:52,626
You see how she tied herself up?
She got cheese for feet.

104
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,293
Oh, I've seen this before.

105
00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:58,126
Sad, very sad.
Well, I actually have to get going. So--

106
00:04:58,209 --> 00:05:02,293
-Dad, wait! The feds came by and--
-Oh, right, that little legal stuff.

107
00:05:02,376 --> 00:05:04,418
Marv, here's what you're gonna do.

108
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:10,251
You're gonna take responsibility
for all of it because you love me,

109
00:05:10,334 --> 00:05:12,959
and I love you, son.

110
00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:15,709
-[tires screeching]
-[dramatic music playing]

111
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:16,751
[growling]

112
00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,293
[both grunting]

113
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:24,459
[Abbie] Marv, where did you learn
to swing on a rope like that?

114
00:05:24,543 --> 00:05:28,501
Oh, I've been combat role playing
as Tarzan with my gaming group lately.

115
00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:33,084
Well, technically I play a mating gorilla
whom Tarzan falls in love with, but--

116
00:05:33,168 --> 00:05:34,584
Wait, stop the car.

117
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,709
[tires screeching]

118
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:39,709
Wow, they're gorgeous and on sale.

119
00:05:40,293 --> 00:05:41,543
[soft music playing]

120
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:47,293
Devilcat, you and your human counterpart
are up first.

121
00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:49,209
[crowd cheering]

122
00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:52,293
Devilcat, your partner Greta is incapable

123
00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:55,001
of connecting with other creatures
on an emotional level.

124
00:05:55,084 --> 00:05:58,001
So, in order to make your human
go against her nature,

125
00:05:58,084 --> 00:05:59,543
you must defeat this.

126
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:00,584
[Greta gasping]

127
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,959
-[monster roaring]
-[screaming]

128
00:06:04,043 --> 00:06:08,501
Wait! How does defeating a giant
vampire anus go against Greta's nature?

129
00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:09,959
Because to save it,

130
00:06:10,043 --> 00:06:13,709
you must quench its thirst
for human suffering.

131
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:15,959
It drinks human tears.

132
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,834
Either you make Greta cry,
or the monster eats her. Good luck.

133
00:06:19,918 --> 00:06:22,001
[monster roaring]

134
00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:24,418
Oh. Here, read the last page of this.

135
00:06:25,543 --> 00:06:28,834
"And then they took Old Yeller out
to the lawn and tied him to a tree."

136
00:06:28,918 --> 00:06:30,043
[monster screeching]

137
00:06:30,126 --> 00:06:33,709
Uh… Uh…
"For sale, baby shoes. Never worn."

138
00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:37,876
Uh, okay. There's this movie called Up,
and right in the beginning--

139
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:40,251
-It's not working.
-Wait. Wait. I got it.

140
00:06:41,418 --> 00:06:42,418
[bagpipe music playing]

141
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:44,584
Why would bagpipes make me emotional?

142
00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:48,668
It's an instrument that sounds like
it's apologizing to you for how it sounds.

143
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:50,918
Okay, **** this.

144
00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:52,793
[growling]

145
00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:55,918
[crowd cheering]

146
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,626
Whoo. [laughing]

147
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,001
-Yeah!
-Ooh! So tough.

148
00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:01,709
Yes, you defeated the monster,

149
00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:04,584
but you technically didn't get Greta
to go against her nature.

150
00:07:05,251 --> 00:07:06,918
-Zero points awarded.
-[buzzer buzzing]

151
00:07:07,001 --> 00:07:10,293
Yes! We've got this, Travis. Ha-ha.

152
00:07:10,376 --> 00:07:12,043
[engine revving]

153
00:07:12,126 --> 00:07:13,501
[dramatic music playing]

154
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,668
Oh, look, Nancy, we've grown apart.

155
00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:22,584
I am a strong, independent man and you're…

156
00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:26,293
Well, you're just a bag of rice
that I drilled two holes into.

157
00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:29,168
-[grunting]
-[brakes screeching]

158
00:07:30,084 --> 00:07:32,834
[Marv] If he gets to that Lambulkini,
he's gone.

159
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:34,418
I can't let him get away.

160
00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:36,418
[music intensifies]

161
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,084
[music stops abruptly]

162
00:07:45,876 --> 00:07:47,834
[dramatic music plays]

163
00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:49,834
[both yelling in slow motion]

164
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:54,043
[brakes squealing]

165
00:07:54,126 --> 00:07:56,001
Not so fast, Herb.

166
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,334
[sighing]

167
00:07:57,418 --> 00:08:02,126
Marv, sometimes when a father
and a son love each other very, very much,

168
00:08:02,209 --> 00:08:03,584
but can't make it work,

169
00:08:03,668 --> 00:08:06,668
well, one of them murders the other
with a crossbow.

170
00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:07,668
Bye, Marv.

171
00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:09,251
[dramatic tone]

172
00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:11,626
[soft music playing]

173
00:08:12,751 --> 00:08:13,668
[knuckles cracking]

174
00:08:13,751 --> 00:08:16,626
Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna move your cart.

175
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:19,001
I'm gonna drive off in my Lambulkini,

176
00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:23,793
and then you are gonna call the feds
and turn yourself in for bamboozlement.

177
00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:25,834
How's that sound? Sound good?

178
00:08:25,918 --> 00:08:26,834
No.

179
00:08:26,918 --> 00:08:29,043
How dare you, Marv?

180
00:08:29,126 --> 00:08:31,709
You are supposed to respect your father!

181
00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:33,584
[intense music playing]

182
00:08:36,876 --> 00:08:40,084
[growling] You're not my father!

183
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:42,584
[both grunting]

184
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:46,584
Mother--

185
00:08:47,334 --> 00:08:50,668
[yelling, panting]

186
00:08:51,334 --> 00:08:57,334
Huh? You stood up to me
and crowned yourself with my perm?

187
00:08:57,918 --> 00:09:01,084
I'm-- I'm proud of you, boy.

188
00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:04,668
Whoa, what happened?

189
00:09:04,751 --> 00:09:07,209
I-- I blacked out there for a second.

190
00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:08,626
[crowd cheering]

191
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:12,293
Okay, folks, this is for all the marbles.

192
00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:16,584
If Godcat fails,
Devilcat will be named the new CEO.

193
00:09:16,668 --> 00:09:18,793
But if Godcat completes his challenge,

194
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,918
the games will be tied,
and we will go to sudden death.

195
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:26,293
And if you both die, we pick fifty mortals
and we do a wet t-shirt contest.

196
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:28,793
-Let's go!
-[crowd] Yeah!

197
00:09:29,418 --> 00:09:32,418
For your final challenge,
we picked something extra difficult

198
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:34,709
for this screen-addicted,
Hot Pocket of a child

199
00:09:34,793 --> 00:09:38,126
who needs the internet's approval
more than he needs air.

200
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:41,751
He will have to defeat
his online troll, Aidan.

201
00:09:42,251 --> 00:09:45,293
Summon the Aidan!

202
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:50,251
Nah, you guys go ahead
and pillage the nursing home without me.

203
00:09:50,334 --> 00:09:51,209
[mystical tone]

204
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:54,584
Whoa! Am I being raptured?

205
00:09:54,668 --> 00:09:56,043
Sick!

206
00:09:56,543 --> 00:09:58,043
-[mystical tone continues]
-[gasping]

207
00:09:58,126 --> 00:09:59,834
[grunting]

208
00:09:59,918 --> 00:10:03,043
Aidan and Trashfist,
you will now engage in a horrific battle,

209
00:10:03,626 --> 00:10:06,501
made popular
by Earth's least talented joke writers,

210
00:10:06,584 --> 00:10:07,876
a comedy roast.

211
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:10,334
Human Dorito, you go first.

212
00:10:10,918 --> 00:10:14,001
A roast? My pleasure. Um…

213
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:16,501
Travis is so ugly,

214
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:20,334
if he met One Direction,
they'd go in a different direction.

215
00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:21,543
[all laughing]

216
00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:23,334
Travis is so dumb,

217
00:10:23,418 --> 00:10:26,459
he thinks Dunkin' Donuts is
a basketball team.

218
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,626
[crowd] Ooh!

219
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,209
Oh yeah? Well…

220
00:10:29,293 --> 00:10:31,251
Wait. Dunkin' Donuts?

221
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:34,043
That's not a joke.
You literally thought that.

222
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:35,376
[crowd booing]

223
00:10:36,209 --> 00:10:37,543
[whispering]

224
00:10:38,126 --> 00:10:42,043
Oh. Well, yeah, Aidan's skin is so oily,
it's being acquired by Pizza Hut.

225
00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:46,959
Well, Travis sucks so much,
his wisdom teeth had him removed.

226
00:10:47,043 --> 00:10:48,751
Seriously. His teeth are horrible.

227
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:49,834
[crowd laughing]

228
00:10:49,918 --> 00:10:52,584
What? No, no.
You're the one with bad teeth.

229
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:56,209
The nurse said that your mouth looks like
someone threw a piano into an open grave.

230
00:10:56,293 --> 00:11:00,126
[gasps] Wait, you're just projecting
your insecurities onto me.

231
00:11:00,209 --> 00:11:01,751
Really, that's what all trolls do.

232
00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:03,709
I shouldn't care
what you think of me at all.

233
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,334
[soft music playing]

234
00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:06,793
Oh yeah, dork?

235
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:10,168
If you were an energy drink,
you'd be called "Cringe."

236
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:13,751
See? Like that.
That didn't hurt at all. [chuckles]

237
00:11:13,834 --> 00:11:18,376
You can call me whatever you want.
I don't need your validation anymore.

238
00:11:18,459 --> 00:11:20,626
Yours or anyone else's

239
00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:22,376
because I'm awesome.

240
00:11:23,126 --> 00:11:24,376
Oh!

241
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:26,501
You're right.

242
00:11:26,584 --> 00:11:28,334
You are awesome.

243
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,418
You're a great streamer.

244
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:34,334
You have a clean house,
and crows don't live in your dishwasher.

245
00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:38,918
Meanwhile, my stepparent sold our bathtub
to buy Hoobastank tickets.

246
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:42,376
So yeah, I was trying
to keep you from getting too confident

247
00:11:42,459 --> 00:11:44,001
so you wouldn't ditch me.

248
00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:46,709
And I'm kind of… you know…

249
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:47,668
sorry.

250
00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:50,126
Hey. You don't have to worry
about losing me.

251
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,876
You're my best friend.

252
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,959
-[mystical tone]
-[crowd cheering]

253
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:58,043
Challenge accomplished.
One point to Godcat.

254
00:11:58,126 --> 00:11:59,834
We have a tie, folks!

255
00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:01,459
[crowd cheering]

256
00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:03,459
[police sirens wailing]

257
00:12:03,543 --> 00:12:04,876
[indistinct radio chatter]

258
00:12:04,959 --> 00:12:07,126
Uh, Marv, wait for me?

259
00:12:07,209 --> 00:12:08,626
Uh, no.

260
00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:12,459
But how about I send you
some care packages in prison?

261
00:12:12,543 --> 00:12:13,501
Any requests?

262
00:12:13,584 --> 00:12:19,168
Maybe a heartfelt letter telling me
how much you appreciate our special bond?

263
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:22,834
Oh! And maybe a bag of rice.
You know my type.

264
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:29,001
[giggling] Honey,
you were incredible out there.

265
00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:32,626
You're like Jason Bourne,
but balding and trying to hide it.

266
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:34,543
So like Matt Damon, I guess.

267
00:12:34,626 --> 00:12:37,126
Look, Abbie, I screwed up.

268
00:12:37,209 --> 00:12:41,126
I've been too focused
on my job and my hobbies.

269
00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:43,501
None of that is worth losing you over.

270
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:44,501
I'm sorry.

271
00:12:44,584 --> 00:12:48,584
I'm sorry too. I should've taken
more of an interest in those things.

272
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,126
I should've taken
more of an interest in you.

273
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:54,918
Well, from now on that all changes.

274
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:57,043
[gasps] Does that mean
you'll come to my book club?

275
00:12:57,126 --> 00:12:59,293
We're reading He-Man fan fiction.

276
00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:01,043
Sure, if you come with me

277
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:03,959
to that alligator combat class
I saw on Groupon.

278
00:13:04,043 --> 00:13:06,501
Or how about we split the difference?

279
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:09,501
Go get drunk on Smirnoff Ice
and play Buck Hunter?

280
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:10,418
Deal.

281
00:13:10,501 --> 00:13:13,126
-[both chuckling]
-[soft music playing]

282
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,709
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie score,

283
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:19,251
which means we are headed to sudden death.

284
00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:20,751
[dramatic music playing]

285
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,709
[male voice] Sudden death!

286
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:24,001
[dramatic music playing]

287
00:13:26,751 --> 00:13:27,876
[all gasping]

288
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:37,251
Whoever gets their mortal advisor
across the finish line first

289
00:13:37,334 --> 00:13:41,334
wins the CEO position
and a sponsorship with Purina Dog Food.

290
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,084
Easy-peasy.

291
00:13:43,168 --> 00:13:46,584
Now, remember, if you get sprayed
with lava, just keep running.

292
00:13:46,668 --> 00:13:50,209
Hopefully, the momentum will carry your
flaming corpse across the finish line.

293
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:53,209
Listen to me, you got this.

294
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:54,584
Own this course.

295
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,543
Own it like my stepdad owns
eight pitbulls.

296
00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:59,209
Let's go!

297
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:02,459
-[music continues]
-[crowd cheering, whistling]

298
00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:07,043
Hey, if I get laser murdered,

299
00:14:07,126 --> 00:14:09,376
I just want you to know
you've been a good sister.

300
00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:11,001
And if we make it out of this alive,

301
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,251
I promise to start flushing
the downstairs toilet.

302
00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:15,751
Thanks, Trav. You've been a good brother.

303
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,626
I promise to stop micro-dosing
your Froot Loops with ketamine.

304
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:20,959
-Wait, what!?
-And your time starts…

305
00:14:22,043 --> 00:14:23,293
-[gun fires]
-…now!

306
00:14:23,376 --> 00:14:24,418
[dramatic music playing]

307
00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:26,793
[both screaming]

308
00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:28,376
[both grunting]

309
00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:33,626
Good boy. Good boy.

310
00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:35,334
Turn. Turn.

311
00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,418
Okay, run.

312
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,626
Buddy, hup. There you go. Hup.

313
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,126
[both panting, grunting]

314
00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:46,626
[Godcat] Jump. Get down. Slide.

315
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,251
[grunting]

316
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:55,043
[crowd] Travis! Travis! Travis!

317
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:57,334
-[grunting, groaning]
-[screaming]

318
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,293
[crowd exclaims]

319
00:14:58,959 --> 00:15:01,293
-[Travis grunting]
-[crowd cheering]

320
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:05,501
[Travis groaning]

321
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:08,626
-Get up! Come on!
-Get up! Come on!

322
00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:10,793
-Run!
-What are you waiting for? Go!

323
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,793
[intense music playing]

324
00:15:12,876 --> 00:15:14,626
[all exclaiming in slow motion]

325
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,168
Travis wins!

326
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,209
We have a winner!

327
00:15:22,501 --> 00:15:25,209
Introducing your new CEO,

328
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:29,168
Godcat!

329
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:31,209
[crowd cheering]

330
00:15:32,543 --> 00:15:37,209
Congrats, you are now CEO
of both Heaven and Hell.

331
00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:40,959
[gasps] Thank you. It feels good
to have all the power again.

332
00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:44,668
Now, first things first,
I want to eat an entire dolphin.

333
00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:47,043
Ever since becoming a cat
I've had this hankering--

334
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:50,959
Now that you're hired,
we can begin phase two of the reorg,

335
00:15:51,043 --> 00:15:54,751
the annihilation
of the human race. [chuckling]

336
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:58,334
What? I thought the merger
was about redistributing human souls.

337
00:15:58,418 --> 00:16:00,459
Well, once we realized humans

338
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,626
were the source
of most of the company's problems,

339
00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:05,418
we figured we'd wipe them out
and start over.

340
00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:09,293
Look, do I see the appeal
in eliminating the 7 billion dingbats

341
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:12,334
who invented everything
from nuclear war to eating Tide Pods?

342
00:16:12,418 --> 00:16:13,834
On paper, sure.

343
00:16:13,918 --> 00:16:16,668
But my time on Earth with this family

344
00:16:16,751 --> 00:16:20,418
has shown me that humans are horrible,
but they're also amazing.

345
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:24,043
They're terrible and wonderful
and everything in between.

346
00:16:24,126 --> 00:16:27,918
So I'm sorry, but as God, it's a hard no.

347
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:30,709
Very well.

348
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:33,501
Thank you for stepping down so honorably.

349
00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:35,876
Huh? What do you mean? I didn't. I--

350
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:40,293
Beelzebub, we would like to offer you
the CEO position.

351
00:16:40,376 --> 00:16:43,418
That is, if you agree
to wipe out humanity.

352
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:46,168
[sighing] I mean, I do want the job, but--

353
00:16:46,251 --> 00:16:50,126
Wait! Wait, don't do this.
Humans may not be perfectly designed.

354
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,793
We might even be
straight-up evil at times,

355
00:16:52,876 --> 00:16:55,251
but our goodness
doesn't come from being perfect.

356
00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:56,168
We're a mess.

357
00:16:56,668 --> 00:16:59,084
And you know what? Messes are okay.

358
00:16:59,168 --> 00:17:03,334
I'm a mess. My family is a mess,
but that's why I love them.

359
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:05,084
That's why we love each other.

360
00:17:05,168 --> 00:17:06,793
-[crying]
-[soft music playing]

361
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:11,168
♪ Take it to the river ♪

362
00:17:11,251 --> 00:17:13,626
It's your decision, Beelzebub.

363
00:17:16,918 --> 00:17:17,751
I'll do it.

364
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:18,751
No!

365
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,418
[dramatic music playing]

366
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:30,793
Every step of the way,
you've been there haunting me.

367
00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:33,168
But I am done living in your shadow.

368
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:36,793
I am darkness.

369
00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:39,459
I cast the shadow now!

370
00:17:39,543 --> 00:17:41,168
Yes, Beelzebub.

371
00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:42,751
Do it. Do it.

372
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:48,126
You're all fired!

373
00:17:48,209 --> 00:17:49,459
[music intensifies]

374
00:17:51,043 --> 00:17:52,126
[roaring]

375
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,959
[screaming]

376
00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:00,709
[screams]

377
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,876
Beelzebub, my little demon,

378
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,168
I always knew you had it in you.

379
00:18:12,376 --> 00:18:13,584
[music ends]

380
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:16,043
Wow. Where did that come from?

381
00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:20,584
I'm done doing things their way.
I'm in charge now. So…

382
00:18:20,668 --> 00:18:22,501
[moaning, groaning]

383
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:25,626
Hey, you're not supposed to pee
on office furniture.

384
00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:27,918
I learned that like an hour
after becoming a cat.

385
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,293
[gasping] I'm not peeing, you idiot!

386
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,043
I'm going into labor! [yelps]

387
00:18:32,126 --> 00:18:34,959
Labor? You're pregnant?
When did that happen?

388
00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:37,543
Argh! Remember my cousin's wedding?

389
00:18:37,626 --> 00:18:38,918
[romantic music playing]

390
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,793
Oh. Hell yeah. [chuckles]

391
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,751
Snap out of it!
We don't have time for a steamy flashback.

392
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,543
-[stomach grumbling]
-[groaning]

393
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:50,918
Whoa! Anti-Christ on a cracker.
This is really happening.

394
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:54,376
Okay, who do I know
that knows how to deliver a cat baby?

395
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:58,043
Wait. Abbie!
We've got to get back down to Earth.

396
00:18:58,126 --> 00:18:59,418
[dramatic music playing]

397
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:01,334
Mmm… Bubedy bubedy bup!

398
00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:04,084
Gah! A little help!

399
00:19:04,668 --> 00:19:05,876
[music continues]

400
00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:09,293
Everyone, hop on. We're going home.

401
00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:10,751
[moaning]

402
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:14,584
Whoa. Hi, kids!

403
00:19:14,668 --> 00:19:18,001
Abbie, Marv, Devilcat's pregnant,
and I'm the father.

404
00:19:18,084 --> 00:19:19,126
[Devilcat groaning]

405
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:22,626
Hey, congratulations.

406
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:25,126
Now what's with all the fire
and destruction?

407
00:19:25,209 --> 00:19:27,418
Oh, is this a gender-reveal party?

408
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:29,668
Agh! No, dingus, I'm in labor!

409
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,418
Marv, boots, bungee cords, toilet plunger.

410
00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:35,293
[in demonic voice] You did this to me!

411
00:19:35,376 --> 00:19:36,876
Take my paw!

412
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:38,709
Probably a bad time to ask,

413
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:41,709
but does this technically make us
boyfriend, girlfriend, or…

414
00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:42,918
[retching]

415
00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:45,251
Yeah, let's put a pin in that for now.

416
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,376
[intense moaning, groaning]

417
00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:53,209
[dramatic music playing]

418
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,043
[coughs, groans]

419
00:19:56,209 --> 00:19:57,876
[groaning]

420
00:19:59,918 --> 00:20:01,376
[alarm sounding]

421
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:15,376
Gee, I wonder if today will be the day
I get chosen to destroy a planet.

422
00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:17,918
Pfft. Wouldn't count on it, kid.

423
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:20,459
[rumbling]

424
00:20:20,543 --> 00:20:22,418
[music continues]

425
00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:26,834
Here I go to kill and destroy.

426
00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:33,793
Ah, you guys… look!

427
00:20:33,876 --> 00:20:36,084
[dramatic music playing]

428
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,584
-[people screaming]
-[horn blaring]

429
00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:39,668
[screaming]

430
00:20:40,418 --> 00:20:43,668
I don't understand.
I thought Devilcat stopped the apocalypse.

431
00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:46,376
[gasps] Someone must have survived
and hit the button.

432
00:20:46,459 --> 00:20:49,918
All right. The first time I prayed to you
might've been a misunderstanding,

433
00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:52,293
but this one is the real deal.

434
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,459
A legit bona fide prayer.

435
00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:56,584
Dear God,

436
00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:59,543
save us from that thing!

437
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,959
I would, but it needs
to be destroyed in orbit.

438
00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:06,543
And last I checked,
I'm a cat, not a space dragon.

439
00:21:06,626 --> 00:21:08,584
Space dragon, you say.

440
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,084
[gasps] I have an idea.

441
00:21:11,084 --> 00:21:12,543
What the hell is that?

442
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:15,418
It looks like an Apollo Lander
made by Garbage Pail Kids.

443
00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:18,459
The biggest problem is
I don't have enough propellant to launch.

444
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:20,668
Turns out rockets are ten stories high
for a reason.

445
00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:24,126
Godcat, can't you generate
some sort of magic God energy?

446
00:21:24,209 --> 00:21:25,876
Aren't you like a holy USB brick?

447
00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:28,043
What about the power of love?

448
00:21:28,126 --> 00:21:33,293
Maybe if everyone started loving you
super hard, you'd sprout angel wings.

449
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,959
That's actually the secret
to beating the Twilight board game.

450
00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:38,834
Those are both
the dumbest things I've ever…

451
00:21:38,918 --> 00:21:42,418
Wait. Angel wings, USB brick…

452
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,376
Marv, Travis, you're geniuses.

453
00:21:45,459 --> 00:21:47,293
-[line rings, beeps]
-Dear God, it's me.

454
00:21:47,376 --> 00:21:49,709
Get the cherubs down here now!

455
00:21:49,793 --> 00:21:50,709
[mystical tone]

456
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:53,084
[laughing] Hey, buddy. Um…

457
00:21:53,168 --> 00:21:55,876
We're super sorry about what happened.
We didn't know--

458
00:21:55,959 --> 00:21:57,668
Shut it. There's no time for that.

459
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:00,376
You two are made of pure divine energy,

460
00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:03,751
and for once in your stupid lives,
you're going to help me.

461
00:22:04,543 --> 00:22:07,293
I want to say I love you,
but there's no time.

462
00:22:07,918 --> 00:22:09,959
Also, I assume I'll feel weird
about it later,

463
00:22:10,043 --> 00:22:12,293
and it'll be awkward
when we say goodbye on the phone.

464
00:22:12,376 --> 00:22:13,418
Okay, bye.

465
00:22:13,501 --> 00:22:15,459
-Mmm… Ah!
-[epic music playing]

466
00:22:26,459 --> 00:22:27,459
[music ends]

467
00:22:27,543 --> 00:22:30,918
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
She'll be riding six white horses ♪

468
00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:33,834
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
When she comes ♪

469
00:22:33,918 --> 00:22:35,543
♪ Yee-haw! ♪

470
00:22:35,626 --> 00:22:37,626
[epic music stops]

471
00:22:45,084 --> 00:22:48,293
Armageddon, meet arm.

472
00:22:48,376 --> 00:22:50,751
Aw, look, a kitty cat.

473
00:22:50,834 --> 00:22:53,501
Hello, little kitty cat.

474
00:22:53,584 --> 00:22:57,876
I'm just so gosh darn excited
to kill your entire planet.

475
00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:58,793
Nope.

476
00:22:58,876 --> 00:23:00,709
[yelling]

477
00:23:04,668 --> 00:23:05,834
[music ends]

478
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:06,876
[Abbie] He did it!

479
00:23:06,959 --> 00:23:08,626
Godcat saved us!

480
00:23:08,709 --> 00:23:09,834
[all cheering]

481
00:23:09,918 --> 00:23:11,918
Godcat, yeah!

482
00:23:12,543 --> 00:23:14,334
Wait, where's Godcat?

483
00:23:14,418 --> 00:23:15,293
Is he…?

484
00:23:15,793 --> 00:23:18,043
He… He can't be.

485
00:23:18,126 --> 00:23:20,584
-[soft music playing]
-[Godcat screaming]

486
00:23:28,209 --> 00:23:30,251
[laughing]

487
00:23:30,334 --> 00:23:35,001
I did it. I have mastered endoscopy!

488
00:23:35,084 --> 00:23:36,751
[all] Empathy!

489
00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:39,293
Oh, whatever. You knew what I meant.

490
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:43,209
And I did it all
because the damned family came together.

491
00:23:43,293 --> 00:23:44,459
Godcat's right.

492
00:23:44,543 --> 00:23:47,751
We finally came together as a team,
and it worked.

493
00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:50,001
You know, I always thought of you guys

494
00:23:50,084 --> 00:23:53,043
as the extras in the background
of my live streams.

495
00:23:53,126 --> 00:23:56,751
But now, I see how each of you are cool
and interesting in your own--

496
00:23:56,834 --> 00:24:00,709
Will you shut the **** up and help me?
This baby wants out!

497
00:24:00,793 --> 00:24:02,376
-[heavy metal music playing]
-[groaning]

498
00:24:02,459 --> 00:24:04,584
[thunder rumbling]

499
00:24:04,668 --> 00:24:07,668
I think it's happening! Everyone, hold on!

500
00:24:07,751 --> 00:24:09,084
Here it comes.

501
00:24:09,168 --> 00:24:10,959
Wait. No.

502
00:24:11,043 --> 00:24:12,668
Here they come!

503
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:15,084
-[music continues]
-[screaming]

504
00:24:17,084 --> 00:24:19,084
[meowing]

505
00:24:31,584 --> 00:24:35,084
Holy mother of God!

506
00:24:35,668 --> 00:24:37,668
[closing theme music playing]

507
00:25:23,668 --> 00:25:25,543
[music ends]