1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,376
[video game music playing]

2
00:00:13,376 --> 00:00:15,168
[game narrator] Steal Truck Drive Drive!

3
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,668
[woman] Ouch! My hip!

4
00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:20,084
[man] Ow! My butthole!

5
00:00:23,584 --> 00:00:24,709
Oh! My colon!

6
00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:27,418
[game narrator]
Achievement unlocked. Punched a bald dude.

7
00:00:28,918 --> 00:00:32,376
Good morning, Travis.
From your unlocked achievements,

8
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:36,584
it looks like you knee-capped a pimp
with a sack of doorknobs.

9
00:00:36,668 --> 00:00:37,918
Good for you.

10
00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:42,001
[game narrator] Achievement unlocked.
Disrespected a college education.

11
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,168
So, tell me, how's Travis's day going?

12
00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:46,293
[sighs] Bad.

13
00:00:46,376 --> 00:00:49,501
My family didn't even remember
today's my half-birthday.

14
00:00:49,584 --> 00:00:52,459
Your half-birthday? What's a half--

15
00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:54,501
-[banging on door]
-[grunting]

16
00:00:54,584 --> 00:00:55,876
Die, Stillwell.

17
00:00:57,126 --> 00:00:58,376
[gasping]

18
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,126
Sorry. He's from a rival therapy practice.

19
00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:03,084
Please, continue.

20
00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:07,584
See, my actual birthday is on Christmas,
which means I get totally shafted.

21
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,376
So, this year, I asked my mom

22
00:01:09,459 --> 00:01:12,043
if-- if we could celebrate
my half-birthday instead.

23
00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:13,793
But does she listen? No.

24
00:01:13,876 --> 00:01:16,543
Just went in one ear
and out that same ear.

25
00:01:16,626 --> 00:01:19,459
[game narrator] Achievement unlocked.
Was vulnerable during therapy.

26
00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:25,376
So, anyhow,
I bought one of those body pillows

27
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:27,959
that pregnant ladies sleep with,
and when I'm alone--

28
00:01:28,043 --> 00:01:29,834
Oops. Wi-Fi's breaking up. Gotta go.

29
00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:33,501
Ew. I touched that pillow.

30
00:01:33,584 --> 00:01:35,584
[theme music playing]

31
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,418
[bear growling]

32
00:01:44,126 --> 00:01:47,043
Whoo-hoo!

33
00:01:47,126 --> 00:01:49,501
Holy hell, I was good at my job.

34
00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:54,126
On the sixth day, I not only created
butterflies but also grizzly bears.

35
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,501
That's like reading poetry
while wanking at the same time.

36
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,668
[bear growling continues]

37
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,168
Looking for family fun?

38
00:02:00,251 --> 00:02:03,293
Well, look no further
than Shane & Chugger's.

39
00:02:03,376 --> 00:02:08,376
Hot games, cold beer, tepid cheese,
and technically edible Cajun cuisine.

40
00:02:08,459 --> 00:02:10,001
Yeehaw!

41
00:02:10,084 --> 00:02:14,043
This! See? This is what is so frustrating.

42
00:02:14,126 --> 00:02:16,168
I painstakingly create a planet

43
00:02:16,251 --> 00:02:18,834
where there's a worm
that goes into a sleeping bag,

44
00:02:18,918 --> 00:02:22,043
then comes out with wings
that are stained-glass windows.

45
00:02:22,126 --> 00:02:24,334
Then you idiots fill it with this crap.

46
00:02:24,418 --> 00:02:28,418
Shane & Chugger's? Looks like
they gave hepatitis its own restaurant.

47
00:02:28,501 --> 00:02:30,709
Travis is always asking to go there,

48
00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:33,043
but I can't afford to blow
an entire afternoon

49
00:02:33,126 --> 00:02:34,459
spending time with my son.

50
00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:37,251
Well, makes sense. That place looks like
the inside of his brain.

51
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:39,501
[panting] Marv, emergency.

52
00:02:39,584 --> 00:02:42,626
Today is Travis's half-birthday,
and he told his therapist

53
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:45,501
that it's the most important thing
in the world.

54
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:48,543
Therapist?
Our insurance doesn't cover therapy.

55
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,543
Wh-- Why do you think I scream
into the toilet every night before bed?

56
00:02:51,626 --> 00:02:53,918
[grunts] Okay, fine, you got me.

57
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:57,459
I created an avatar
so I can pose as Travis's therapist

58
00:02:57,543 --> 00:03:00,459
in his Drive-Kill game
to know what's going on in his life.

59
00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:04,668
Abbie! Th-- That's a total invasion
of Travis's privacy.

60
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,043
A teenage boy isn't gonna open up
to his mom.

61
00:03:07,126 --> 00:03:10,126
Anyway, we need
to throw Travis an amazing party

62
00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:13,376
if we want to accomplish
Operation Happy Family.

63
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:17,709
Do we have to treat every family activity
like a military mission?

64
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:20,126
I mean, It was bad enough
when you used to scream,

65
00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:22,126
"Operation Reproduction!"

66
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:26,376
What? So a birthday party on his
actual birthday isn't enough for the kid?

67
00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:29,043
[all singing] ♪ Happy birthday ♪

68
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,876
♪ Happy birthday… ♪

69
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:34,668
Wait a minute.

70
00:03:34,751 --> 00:03:38,376
Formerly broken family comes together
to throw pointless party

71
00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:39,584
to make child happy.

72
00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:42,626
This is exactly
what I need to show the board

73
00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:46,043
what a great job I've done
to bring your pathetic family closer.

74
00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:48,251
Dear God, please help me.

75
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:49,209
[line rings, beeps]

76
00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:50,751
Hey, Cheryl. It's me.

77
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,793
Send the cherubs down
for a performance review.

78
00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:54,584
[female operator]
Welcome to the prayer line.

79
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,126
If a sports team you bet on

80
00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:58,668
isn't covering the point spread,
press "one."

81
00:03:58,751 --> 00:04:01,793
If you just got back
from Cancun and it burns when you--

82
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:03,959
Ugh! Representative.

83
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:05,001
[beeps]

84
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,418
Main menu.

85
00:04:06,501 --> 00:04:07,584
[beeps]

86
00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:09,918
-Happy half-birthday!
-Happy half-birthday!

87
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:12,376
You know it's my half-birthday?

88
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:17,043
Of course. We've been planning your party
for weeks, ya silly goose.

89
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,501
Yeah. Since… um, half-Veterans Day.

90
00:04:20,584 --> 00:04:23,918
Can it be like Aidan's birthday party,
where we demolished a giant piñata,

91
00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:26,543
and his stepdad let us shoot
bottle rockets into traffic?

92
00:04:26,626 --> 00:04:30,209
Sure. We know
how important this is to you,

93
00:04:30,293 --> 00:04:32,209
so it's important to us.

94
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:35,168
Huh, wow. Oh. I'm gonna go call Aidan!

95
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:38,001
Dude! Dude! Dude! Dude!
My parents are throwing me a rager.

96
00:04:38,084 --> 00:04:40,709
Bring over that list
of new swear words you came up with.

97
00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:43,459
It's gonna be lit, you butt guzzler!

98
00:04:43,543 --> 00:04:46,501
Okay, we have one hour
to set up the kind of mind-blowing rager

99
00:04:46,584 --> 00:04:48,584
that will show our son that we love him.

100
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:51,834
Abbie, as someone who's been
to many a mind-blowing rager

101
00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:55,793
and a handful of fairly epic Google Meets,
we just can't pull it off.

102
00:04:55,876 --> 00:04:58,459
Marv, I can't do this without you.

103
00:04:58,543 --> 00:04:59,793
We are a team.

104
00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:01,959
Did my SEAL team say,
"We can't pull it off"

105
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,293
when we were ordered
to blow up the Pope? No!

106
00:05:04,376 --> 00:05:06,584
We did it, and we blamed it on a volcano.

107
00:05:06,668 --> 00:05:10,209
Yeah, I don't think you're supposed
to be telling me this stuff, hon.

108
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,543
[soft music playing]

109
00:05:13,709 --> 00:05:16,584
[Godcat humming, grunting]

110
00:05:18,168 --> 00:05:19,668
Perfect.

111
00:05:19,751 --> 00:05:21,084
Happiest family on earth.

112
00:05:21,168 --> 00:05:22,584
[computer chiming]

113
00:05:22,668 --> 00:05:24,626
Godcat? I'm trying to reach Father.

114
00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:27,626
I need his hot glue gun again.
My hair is being unmanageable.

115
00:05:27,709 --> 00:05:30,459
Are you calling me from your room?
You could just come down here.

116
00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:31,709
I prefer to telecommute.

117
00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:35,543
In today's world, there's no logical need
for interpersonal physical interaction.

118
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:38,709
Well, I sometimes frequent a club
out by the Heaven Airport

119
00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:40,918
that says you're wrong. Marv's busy.

120
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:45,001
Your folks are throwing Travis
a half-birthday party later today.

121
00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:46,084
-[chuckles]
-What?

122
00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,209
-[heavenly tone]
-[gasps]

123
00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:48,126
They're here!

124
00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:50,668
[mystical music playing]

125
00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:55,793
Hey, GC. What's good?

126
00:05:55,876 --> 00:05:58,668
That's how humans say
"how are ya" colloquially.

127
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:01,084
We brushed up
so we could fit in down here.

128
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:03,084
What's good, guys?

129
00:06:03,168 --> 00:06:07,543
How are things up at the old bless-mess?
Total crap show without me, I bet? Huh?

130
00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:09,043
Oh, big-time.

131
00:06:09,126 --> 00:06:11,459
We need you back up there pronto, boss.

132
00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:15,543
But you know, got to really prove yourself
to the board first. Right? So lame.

133
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,918
Well, that's exactly
what I called you guys down for.

134
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:22,126
Once you see
how this family has come together, you--

135
00:06:22,209 --> 00:06:23,334
[Godcat grunts]

136
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:29,459
Is that strawberry sherbet
with a serotonin swirl?

137
00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:30,501
[smacking lips]

138
00:06:30,584 --> 00:06:34,126
Mmm! Mmm! Yum. Sweet ride, guys.

139
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:37,376
Ha! This isn't just a sweet ride.

140
00:06:37,459 --> 00:06:40,584
-It's the 2024 XRC Unicorn Deluxe.
-[revving]

141
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,584
One horsepower,
platinum hooves, rainbow interior.

142
00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:45,876
This is the only unicorn like this
in all of Heaven.

143
00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:47,709
Borrowed it from the VIP stable.

144
00:06:47,793 --> 00:06:50,418
Mmm, hope there's room
on that unicorn for a third,

145
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:54,001
'cause I got a feeling after you guys see
the work I've done down here,

146
00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,334
I am gonna need a ride back home.

147
00:06:56,418 --> 00:07:00,001
Well, there is a suicide seat
that folds out from the butt cheeks,

148
00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:02,293
and the you-know-what
becomes a cup holder.

149
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:04,251
Well then, shotgun! [laughs]

150
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,084
Okay, let's head in.

151
00:07:09,668 --> 00:07:11,876
-[farting]
-[sparkle tone]

152
00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:14,376
[Abbie] Come on, the clock is ticking.

153
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:16,459
We have to make it look like
we put real effort

154
00:07:16,543 --> 00:07:18,043
into throwing Travis this party.

155
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:19,251
Now, up a little.

156
00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:21,084
My up or, or, or your up?

157
00:07:21,168 --> 00:07:23,334
Same up, Marv!

158
00:07:23,418 --> 00:07:25,834
Are they always screaming
at each other like that?

159
00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:29,876
Um… Sure, yes.
That was an idea I came up with.

160
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,501
"Loud is love."

161
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,668
I love you guys too!

162
00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:38,709
Oh, and here's Greta,
lending a hand to throw this party

163
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,334
for the brother she now loves
because of me.

164
00:07:41,418 --> 00:07:44,168
The only thing I love
about Travis is that he's a deep sleeper.

165
00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:46,459
I've been feeding him spiders
and glow sticks at night

166
00:07:46,543 --> 00:07:48,293
to try to create a new superhero.

167
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:50,918
[Marv screaming, grunting]

168
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,751
These are the party decorations?

169
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,876
Uh… Don't you get the theme?

170
00:07:54,959 --> 00:08:00,251
It's a half-birthday party,
so everything is half-assed! Doy.

171
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,501
[chuckles] Oh. Great idea!

172
00:08:02,584 --> 00:08:05,418
I'll put out some stale Pringles
and warm Sprite.

173
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:08,293
We need more time. Take Travis somewhere.

174
00:08:08,376 --> 00:08:10,459
Also, while you're out,
can you grab some wine?

175
00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:11,876
I need a mixer for my vodka.

176
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:16,001
And leave the cherubs here to witness
how your trainwreck of a family interacts?

177
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:16,918
No way.

178
00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:18,084
Take them too.

179
00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:22,251
Show them all the breathtaking creations
you're always bragging about.

180
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:23,959
Actually, that's a decent idea.

181
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:26,293
I can show them some
of the majesty I created.

182
00:08:26,376 --> 00:08:28,876
Have them remind the board
what kind of high-end product

183
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:30,709
the GOAT put out back in the day.

184
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,543
Guess what, Trav?

185
00:08:32,626 --> 00:08:34,334
We got together with Godcat

186
00:08:34,418 --> 00:08:38,418
and came up with a fun activity
for your big half-day.

187
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:39,668
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

188
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:44,251
Oh man, I've been waiting my whole life
to have my own special day.

189
00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:48,834
Huh. Oh man, you guys are wearing diapers?
I can't wait to find out why.

190
00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:50,626
This day's gonna be so sick!

191
00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:53,709
[mysterious music playing]

192
00:08:53,793 --> 00:08:55,334
[Beelzebub] Slagnar, if I may,

193
00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:58,418
I had one idea I wanted to pitch
in this week's board meeting.

194
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:00,959
Yes, Beelzebub. We're all ears.

195
00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:03,626
Ha. This ought to be idiotic.

196
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,793
Okay, what if instead of torturing souls

197
00:09:06,876 --> 00:09:09,959
with spikes and fire
and all that lame junk,

198
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:14,543
we make them try to fold a fitted sheet?

199
00:09:14,626 --> 00:09:18,584
And we can get a great price on them.
As you know, we own IKEA, so…

200
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:23,168
Enough! We got it.
We'll put our best guy on it. Dan.

201
00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:25,251
[flies buzzing]

202
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:28,709
Isn't Dan just a head
on a stick we use to scare people?

203
00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:33,126
For now, sure. But everyone's got to start
somewhere. Okay, bye.

204
00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:34,043
[beeping tone]

205
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:35,709
Ugh!

206
00:09:35,793 --> 00:09:38,834
I should've done what other demons do
when they're cast out of Hell.

207
00:09:38,918 --> 00:09:40,459
Open a Jimmy John's.

208
00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:44,668
[ominous music playing]

209
00:09:49,293 --> 00:09:50,376
Hah!

210
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:53,084
Okay. There goes the neighborhood.

211
00:09:53,168 --> 00:09:56,251
Oh, you're kidding me. Another person?!

212
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,751
And one of them has a Hacky Sack.

213
00:09:59,251 --> 00:10:04,209
Everyone knows that Hacky Sacks
are actually marijuana purses!

214
00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:05,126
[line dialing]

215
00:10:05,209 --> 00:10:09,584
Hello. This is Karen, and--
Don't say "again" like that.

216
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:12,834
I have every right
to call whenever I want.

217
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:17,043
I just thought maybe you should know
there's an unapproved party

218
00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:19,043
happening in our neighborhood.

219
00:10:19,543 --> 00:10:21,709
You'll "look into it"!

220
00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:23,043
[music intensifies]

221
00:10:23,126 --> 00:10:26,376
I will just have to take matters
into my own hands!

222
00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:29,543
[music ends]

223
00:10:30,668 --> 00:10:33,084
Now that lady is evil!

224
00:10:33,168 --> 00:10:37,668
She's like if Genghis Khan worked
at Lululemon. Hey, Karen, wait up!

225
00:10:37,751 --> 00:10:39,543
[birds chirping]

226
00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:43,293
Now come on, tell us,
which one of you posed for this one?

227
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,543
I think it has Aslandeus' playful spirit,

228
00:10:45,626 --> 00:10:47,501
but the wiener
definitely looks like Craig's.

229
00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:49,876
[sighing] Can we go somewhere fun now?

230
00:10:49,959 --> 00:10:52,626
I think I've seen
enough marble testicles for one day.

231
00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:54,793
But look at all this natural wonder.

232
00:10:54,876 --> 00:10:55,876
[heavenly music playing]

233
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,626
Look at this busy little bee,

234
00:10:57,709 --> 00:11:01,626
upholding our entire ecosystem
by the simple act of pollination.

235
00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:04,501
Frankly, sir,
that was a bit of a design flaw.

236
00:11:04,584 --> 00:11:06,001
Well, I couldn't have anticipated

237
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:09,126
that the stupid humans would figure out
a way to actually kill bees.

238
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:13,084
I gave them swords for butts.
Doesn't that seem like enough protection?

239
00:11:13,168 --> 00:11:16,043
Okay. Okay. Let's go into the museum.

240
00:11:16,126 --> 00:11:17,751
A museum? [sighing]

241
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:22,584
A museum is the most boring thing
that can happen to a human being.

242
00:11:22,668 --> 00:11:24,668
Okay, buddy.

243
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,001
Tell Unky Godcat what you wanna do.

244
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:32,751
I know. How about we go down to the woods
and feed some deer to the bears?

245
00:11:34,168 --> 00:11:35,001
No way.

246
00:11:35,084 --> 00:11:38,126
No. No. No, we are not going there.

247
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:39,876
[Godcat] So, guys…

248
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,001
[chuckling]

249
00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:44,459
Obviously, I made
the most exquisite planet of all time.

250
00:11:44,543 --> 00:11:47,543
Sunsets, cheetahs, tiki bars--
You know my hits.

251
00:11:47,626 --> 00:11:50,126
But this place… not on me.

252
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,209
The humans are totally to blame for--

253
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:55,584
Oh man, oh man, oh man, I am so pumped!

254
00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:58,668
They have a game where you guide
a healthy adult through a Bass Pro Shop

255
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:01,293
and see how quickly you can reduce his IQ!

256
00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:04,043
It's called "Living in Arizona."

257
00:12:04,126 --> 00:12:05,501
[chuckling] Travis,

258
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:08,668
obviously Aslandeus and Craig
aren't interested in--

259
00:12:08,751 --> 00:12:11,293
[Aslandeus] Whoo!
It's like a rat casino for children!

260
00:12:11,376 --> 00:12:14,751
Okay, but one hour tops,
and then we're going home.

261
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,793
Aslandeus, no running!

262
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:19,626
I wasn't sure
what to get for a half-birthday.

263
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:22,543
All I could find was a box set
of Two and a Half Men

264
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,209
and a dozen cartons of half-and-half.

265
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:26,168
-[Unicorn neighing]
-[Marv gasping]

266
00:12:26,251 --> 00:12:28,293
That thing came out of nowhere!

267
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:29,918
[Abbie] Ahh!

268
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,834
Oh no, it's not breathing.

269
00:12:33,584 --> 00:12:34,501
[exhales frantically]

270
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,626
Come on, live, damn you.

271
00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:38,209
[exhaling continues]

272
00:12:39,209 --> 00:12:40,834
[gagging, grunting]

273
00:12:40,918 --> 00:12:43,251
Its mouth tastes like Starburst. [gags]

274
00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:45,543
How is that possibly worse
than horse mouth?

275
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,376
[Abbie grunting]

276
00:12:50,876 --> 00:12:53,584
Meh, figures.
Happens every time I get a car wash.

277
00:12:53,668 --> 00:12:57,584
Agh! This is all Godcat's fault.
If he hadn't summoned those cherubs down--

278
00:12:57,668 --> 00:12:59,293
-[door opens]
-[both exclaim]

279
00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:00,376
[dramatic music playing]

280
00:13:00,459 --> 00:13:03,376
Ugh, Mother, for the last time,

281
00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:05,334
please stop bringing home roadkill
for dinner.

282
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,584
This isn't for dinner. Well, it could be.

283
00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:10,084
Depends if I have sour cream
in the fridge. Ugh!

284
00:13:10,168 --> 00:13:13,626
Your father hit it with the car.
Just grab me the jumper cables.

285
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,418
Mother, tell me you're not attempting

286
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,959
to defibrillate a unicorn
with jumper cables.

287
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:20,626
Well, what the hell would you use
to restart a unicorn heart?

288
00:13:20,709 --> 00:13:22,834
Jolly Ranchers and Christmas lights?

289
00:13:22,918 --> 00:13:25,293
-[doorbell ringing]
-[Abbie groans]

290
00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:26,209
[Greta] I got it.

291
00:13:26,293 --> 00:13:27,168
[Karen] Hmm.

292
00:13:27,251 --> 00:13:31,084
Buckle up, Greta. Hurricane Karen
is headed straight for you.

293
00:13:31,168 --> 00:13:34,834
I've never seen a creature this evil,
and I've been to a taping of Ellen.

294
00:13:34,918 --> 00:13:35,918
Excuse me.

295
00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:38,709
-Young lady, are your parents home?
-Yes.

296
00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:41,251
Well, they're not supposed
to be throwing a party

297
00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:44,376
without written consent
from the Neighborhood Council.

298
00:13:44,459 --> 00:13:47,084
-I agree.
-How dare you call me that.

299
00:13:47,168 --> 00:13:50,334
I-- Wait, what? You agree?

300
00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:52,876
Yes. I abhor the idea of this "party."

301
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:55,293
It's a celebration
of my brother's half-birthday.

302
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,668
In my opinion, the only time we should
celebrate Travis

303
00:13:57,751 --> 00:13:59,751
is when he finally stops eating chapstick.

304
00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:04,001
Well… uh, regardless,
you can't have this many guests--

305
00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:07,334
…on one's property, regardless
of plot size, per Section 7C of…

306
00:14:07,418 --> 00:14:09,043
…the HOA agreement.

307
00:14:09,126 --> 00:14:13,168
I'm as shocked and appalled as you are,
but as a minor, there's nothing I can do.

308
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:16,418
Why not come in? We'll work together
to present evidence to the HOA.

309
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,709
I… Well… You…

310
00:14:18,793 --> 00:14:21,459
But I would like to speak to your…

311
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:24,334
Okay. Sure.

312
00:14:25,876 --> 00:14:27,876
[Karen sighing]

313
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,376
Damn! How'd you do that?

314
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:31,293
It's simple.

315
00:14:31,376 --> 00:14:34,251
Karen requires conflict to survive,
and I've deprived her of it.

316
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,668
Soon, she will shrivel and die.

317
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,584
[chuckling] Easy.

318
00:14:38,668 --> 00:14:42,584
You do know she's making
those Hacky Sack kids pee in a cup, right?

319
00:14:42,668 --> 00:14:43,751
Oh, for chrissakes.

320
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,751
[game machines pinging]

321
00:14:47,209 --> 00:14:50,084
[groaning]

322
00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:55,084
I don't believe this.
Is this the culmination of human creation?

323
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,126
Is this what they’ve done
with the free will

324
00:14:57,209 --> 00:14:59,751
I so kindly bestowed upon them?

325
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:01,918
[grunting] Come here!

326
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,084
You're not my father!

327
00:15:04,168 --> 00:15:05,626
[gulping]

328
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:07,209
[belches]

329
00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:10,043
[grunting, chuckling]

330
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,209
See ya.

331
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:13,668
[grunts] Goodbye.

332
00:15:14,251 --> 00:15:17,834
I should put the whole planet up
on Zillow. See if I get any bites.

333
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,126
-Well, hello there, mon ami!
-[yowls]

334
00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:24,209
At Shane & Chugger's,
everything is ça c’est bon!

335
00:15:24,293 --> 00:15:28,001
What sort of Hell-demon
manifested this freak of nature?

336
00:15:28,084 --> 00:15:31,001
Certainly wasn’t me.
Unless it was that third day.

337
00:15:31,084 --> 00:15:32,709
One too many whippets on Day Three.

338
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:35,709
Why doncha come on
down to the bayou some time?

339
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,543
[distorted] Yeehaw.

340
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,334
I'm not going anywhere with you,
swamp rat.

341
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:42,126
Do you know what my day has been like?

342
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:43,626
Repeatedly facing the reality

343
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,126
that the magnificence I forged
means nothing,

344
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:50,793
and all humans appreciate is flat beer,
blinking lights, and chemical cheese?

345
00:15:50,876 --> 00:15:53,626
Laissez les bontemps roulez!

346
00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:56,043
How dare you tell me what to do.

347
00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:59,251
And in French,
a language I made up as a silly joke.

348
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,126
-[thuds]
-[machine ringing]

349
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,376
[gasping, grunting]

350
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:05,084
[mouse squeaking]

351
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:06,834
[grunting]

352
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:09,543
Holy Chugger's, that felt good.

353
00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:11,501
-[Godcat laughing]
-[mouse squeaking]

354
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:13,584
[laughing]

355
00:16:18,751 --> 00:16:21,293
Interesting shirt choice.

356
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:26,209
Did you know that Bob Marley used pot?

357
00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,126
Yeah. Wanna guess how he ended up?

358
00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:29,918
[in demonic voice] Dead!

359
00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:32,959
[in normal voice]
Not from pot. From cancer.

360
00:16:33,043 --> 00:16:35,543
We actually read his biography
in my book club.

361
00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:37,543
-[Abbie] Clear!
-[defibrillating]

362
00:16:37,626 --> 00:16:38,459
Hmm.

363
00:16:39,293 --> 00:16:41,168
Karen, I’ve been looking for you.

364
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:45,209
So far, I’ve counted
a half-dozen HOA violations in this house.

365
00:16:45,293 --> 00:16:49,543
Expired coupons, a chandelier
with mismatched bulbs, dust bunnies.

366
00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:51,751
[sniffing] And what's that odor?

367
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,751
It smells like
the Lip Smacker factory burned down.

368
00:16:54,834 --> 00:16:56,043
-Uh--
-[yelps]

369
00:16:56,126 --> 00:16:58,168
It's probably coming from the pantry.

370
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,001
We used to have a chemical toilet in there
to save on the water bill.

371
00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:03,584
Come on. Probably a ton of violations.

372
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:05,751
Hmm.

373
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:06,668
[flies buzzing]

374
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,334
We could try my wishing idea.

375
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,459
I-- I saw this movie called
The Last Unicorn.

376
00:17:11,543 --> 00:17:13,709
We are not taking advice
from a kids' movie.

377
00:17:14,293 --> 00:17:16,001
I mean, the plot is very advanced.

378
00:17:16,084 --> 00:17:19,251
A kid would have a pathetic grasp
on the political tensions

379
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:20,584
of the Mushroom Planet.

380
00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:22,918
-[vehicle doors open, close]
-Dammit, they're back!

381
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,334
We promised Travis
the best half-birthday ever.

382
00:17:25,418 --> 00:17:27,959
Instead, we've got CSI: Narnia.

383
00:17:30,334 --> 00:17:31,501
[sighing]

384
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,584
Great party. No piñata.

385
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:35,084
There's barely any people here.

386
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:37,334
And one of them is the kid
who accidentally called

387
00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:38,793
our math teacher "Mom."

388
00:17:38,876 --> 00:17:42,459
Oh, piñata shmiñata. Look at this turnout!

389
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:44,668
Six, maybe seven people.

390
00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:47,251
On Earth, that's a lot of people. [gasps]

391
00:17:50,376 --> 00:17:53,126
[laughing] Something's awry.

392
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:56,043
Mm-hmm. In that garage.

393
00:17:56,126 --> 00:18:01,418
I'll call the HOA to get over here.
Let's meet in the driveway at 1700 hours.

394
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:03,751
This is it, Greta. We got 'em!

395
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:07,168
[flies buzzing]

396
00:18:08,293 --> 00:18:11,668
What do you mean you had an accident?

397
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:13,584
"We had an accident."

398
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:17,709
"I can’t keep my widdul wife togethaw
for two widdul houwaws."

399
00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,251
"My bwain has no winkles."

400
00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:23,584
[laughing] Oh man!
That is a spot-on Abbie.

401
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:24,834
Uh, okay, now do me.

402
00:18:24,918 --> 00:18:25,876
Ow.

403
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:27,126
[grunting]

404
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:29,376
Okay, update.
Karen's calling the authorities,

405
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:30,876
and they'll be here any minute.

406
00:18:30,959 --> 00:18:35,334
Dammit! Do you have any idea
how screwed I am if the cherubs realize

407
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:38,751
that the family I was assigned to help
not only ruined their child’s party

408
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:41,584
by killing their borrowed unicorn,
but also,

409
00:18:41,668 --> 00:18:43,793
they killed their borrowed unicorn!

410
00:18:44,418 --> 00:18:45,418
Hmm.

411
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,459
Wait. I have an idea.

412
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,959
[suspenseful music playing]

413
00:18:51,084 --> 00:18:53,168
-[heavenly tone]
-[hooves galloping]

414
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:56,084
[horse neighing]

415
00:18:56,168 --> 00:19:00,626
Criminy! What does this thing eat?
Deep-fried kettlebells?

416
00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:03,668
Just a bit further.

417
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:05,959
[skateboard wheels squeaking]

418
00:19:06,043 --> 00:19:08,459
Hey, where's the XRC going?

419
00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:10,126
[music warps]

420
00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:12,918
We're in position. Go! Go! Go!

421
00:19:15,126 --> 00:19:18,001
You know, you really shouldn't let
your pony eat that grass over there.

422
00:19:18,084 --> 00:19:21,459
Our neighbor Karen douses it
in all kinds of chemicals.

423
00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:25,501
Come on. It's just a bit of grass.
What's the worst that could happen?

424
00:19:25,584 --> 00:19:26,751
[dramatic music playing]

425
00:19:32,168 --> 00:19:34,168
[music intensifies]

426
00:19:36,459 --> 00:19:38,209
[mystical tone]

427
00:19:38,293 --> 00:19:40,251
["Sandstorm" by Darude playing]

428
00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:41,251
[woman screaming]

429
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,293
Whoa.

430
00:19:47,376 --> 00:19:49,876
That's the greatest piñata I've ever seen!

431
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:51,584
[music continues]

432
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:56,376
-No!
-No!

433
00:19:56,459 --> 00:19:58,418
Stay with me. Stay with me.

434
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,668
Be alive again! Be alive again.

435
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:02,084
Wait, what?

436
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,043
No!

437
00:20:03,126 --> 00:20:07,584
That unlicensed party pony trespassed
on my property!

438
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:09,959
Karen, we welcome you with open arms,

439
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:14,459
and in return you poison
slash blow up an innocent pony? Shame!

440
00:20:14,543 --> 00:20:16,459
I need to speak to a supervisor.

441
00:20:16,543 --> 00:20:20,793
Karen, I’m going to need you
to hand in your badge and gun,

442
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:25,043
and by "badge and gun"
I mean citation pad and loud whistle.

443
00:20:25,126 --> 00:20:27,793
My whistle is how I yell at joggers.

444
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,668
How am I going to--

445
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:32,459
[crying]

446
00:20:32,543 --> 00:20:33,376
Okay.

447
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,501
[crying]

448
00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:39,251
This isn’t over, Greta.

449
00:20:39,334 --> 00:20:41,501
Did Karen give up
when she got kicked out of Walmart

450
00:20:41,584 --> 00:20:42,751
for assaulting a greeter?

451
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:45,543
Or when Burger King got
a restraining order to keep her away

452
00:20:45,626 --> 00:20:47,501
from their managers? No way!

453
00:20:47,584 --> 00:20:48,834
She’ll be back.

454
00:20:49,626 --> 00:20:51,251
Uh, hey, Karen, wait up.

455
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:54,168
Why don't we go down to Home Depot
and harass the day laborers?

456
00:20:54,251 --> 00:20:56,668
Genius, Greta. H-- How'd you do it?

457
00:20:56,751 --> 00:21:00,293
Well, after analyzing the sugar content
of the unicorn’s lower intestine

458
00:21:00,376 --> 00:21:04,209
and noticing it had a similar make-up
to that of popular mint candy Mentos,

459
00:21:04,293 --> 00:21:07,543
I timed the release of a flood
of a carbonated, aspartame mixture,

460
00:21:07,626 --> 00:21:11,501
or “Diet Coke,” into its system
at exactly the right moment. Then, kaboom.

461
00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:14,501
Hey, just like what happens in my belly.

462
00:21:14,584 --> 00:21:17,126
That’s how I got banned from AMC Theaters.

463
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,876
Then all that was left
to do was push the blame onto Karen.

464
00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:22,959
The look on her face,
the shame, the defeat.

465
00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:25,709
-Hey, maybe I do like parties.
-[cheerful tone plays]

466
00:21:29,876 --> 00:21:31,751
It's totaled!

467
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:34,668
But again, to get back
to the whole reason you're down here,

468
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,834
I did bring the family together.

469
00:21:36,918 --> 00:21:40,876
Oh, shut up! We have bigger problems
than your stupid Earth project.

470
00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:43,834
Let's go, Craig. Yo, turn these in for me.

471
00:21:43,918 --> 00:21:47,501
And get good value. Don't be coming back
with any of those troll-doll keychains.

472
00:21:47,584 --> 00:21:50,084
I'm talking black light frisbee or higher.

473
00:21:53,334 --> 00:21:54,251
[Godcat grunting]

474
00:21:54,334 --> 00:21:58,918
Well, I will say there are a lot
of things humans really frigged up.

475
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:02,668
Murder, taxes, John Krasinski starring
in action movies.

476
00:22:02,751 --> 00:22:04,626
[grunts] I didn’t do any of that.

477
00:22:04,709 --> 00:22:06,834
But they did get one thing right. [grunts]

478
00:22:06,918 --> 00:22:07,876
This game.

479
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:09,168
[slurping]

480
00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:11,876
And orange soda. Fine, two things.

481
00:22:12,501 --> 00:22:13,376
[grunting]

482
00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:16,751
[sighing] I don't know.
I guess maybe it's not all their fault.

483
00:22:16,834 --> 00:22:20,043
I have been on cruise control
for a few centuries.

484
00:22:20,126 --> 00:22:23,376
Maybe I can help them
if I put in a little more effort.

485
00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:25,293
[machine ringing and chiming]

486
00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:31,251
Hey, I’d be jambalyin’ if I said
I wasn’t having a good time with you.

487
00:22:31,334 --> 00:22:32,376
[laughing]

488
00:22:32,459 --> 00:22:36,251
You know what, Chorgle?
I’d be jambalyin’ too. One more game.

489
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:37,168
[mouse squeaking]

490
00:22:37,251 --> 00:22:38,959
-[Godcat chuckling]
-[rat laughing]

491
00:22:44,793 --> 00:22:46,001
[all] Aw.

492
00:22:46,084 --> 00:22:50,876
-[chuckling] Hey, bud. What's that for?
-Thanks for today. It was pretty awesome.

493
00:22:50,959 --> 00:22:54,001
Aidan says he's going to be pulling
unicorn guts out of his hair for weeks.

494
00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:56,793
[laughs] Oh. Best piñata ever.

495
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,751
I kinda felt
like no one ever listens to me,

496
00:22:59,834 --> 00:23:03,876
but Godcat took me to Shane & Chugger's,
you guys threw me that awesome party…

497
00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:07,376
Of course we're listening, sweetie.
We love you.

498
00:23:07,459 --> 00:23:11,668
See? It’s not “in one ear,
out the same ear," now is it?

499
00:23:11,751 --> 00:23:14,293
[Travis] Just went in one ear,
and out that same ear.

500
00:23:14,376 --> 00:23:16,751
…out that same ear.
…out that same ear.

501
00:23:16,834 --> 00:23:18,709
…out that same ear.
…out that same ear.

502
00:23:18,793 --> 00:23:20,834
[dramatic music playing]

503
00:23:26,084 --> 00:23:27,293
[music intensifies]

504
00:23:27,376 --> 00:23:28,709
[yelling]

505
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:32,126
[ominous music playing]

506
00:23:34,751 --> 00:23:36,751
[music intensifies]

507
00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:39,418
[screaming]

508
00:23:40,959 --> 00:23:43,751
Betrayed!

509
00:23:43,834 --> 00:23:45,668
[closing theme music playing]

510
00:24:32,834 --> 00:24:33,709
[music ends]