1 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,418 [dramatic music playing] 2 00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:12,751 [man screaming] 3 00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,959 Please, please make it stop! 4 00:00:16,043 --> 00:00:21,459 [crying] No more biting nipple hamsters! I beg you! 5 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:25,959 I'm sorry I made my family watch movies with the subtitles on! 6 00:00:26,043 --> 00:00:28,918 I repent! I repent! 7 00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:30,793 [demonic voice] I'll take it from here. 8 00:00:30,876 --> 00:00:32,793 Hello, Doug. 9 00:00:32,876 --> 00:00:35,459 I am Beelzebub. 10 00:00:35,543 --> 00:00:37,876 If you thought this was painful, 11 00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:42,084 wait until the dark Mephistopheles tortures you with… 12 00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:44,584 cringey dad jokes! 13 00:00:44,668 --> 00:00:48,751 [in normal voice] Okay, where did Gargle the Defiler keep his armies? 14 00:00:48,834 --> 00:00:49,751 [Doug] Uh… 15 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:52,459 In his sleevies! 16 00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:53,876 [Beelzebub laughing] 17 00:00:54,626 --> 00:00:55,501 [goblin sighing] 18 00:00:55,584 --> 00:01:01,376 [clearing throat] Beelzebub, the board of directors wants to see you now. 19 00:01:01,459 --> 00:01:04,834 Boy, am I glad your father isn't here to see this. 20 00:01:04,918 --> 00:01:10,084 He was the greatest Satan ever. The man who designed the Trader Joe's parking lot. 21 00:01:10,168 --> 00:01:13,001 Meanwhile, we're getting reports that you're torturing humans 22 00:01:13,084 --> 00:01:18,251 with laggy internet, Baby Shark, and horseradish-flavored Pepsi? 23 00:01:18,334 --> 00:01:21,001 Horseradish-flavored Diet Pepsi. 24 00:01:21,084 --> 00:01:23,959 And now, we hear you're doing Segway tours. 25 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,918 You've added waterfront dining to the River Styx. 26 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:29,459 Look, we're sending you up to Earth. 27 00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:32,376 Heaven recently sent God there in a cat's body, 28 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:36,418 and we think that's a pretty good idea we could steal as our own. 29 00:01:36,501 --> 00:01:38,626 Go up and work on your evil game. 30 00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:41,084 My evil game doesn't need work. 31 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,584 Okay, bon voyage, Your Excellency. 32 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,001 [gavel banging] 33 00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:49,584 -[dramatic music playing] -[Beelzebub screaming] 34 00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:51,251 [rattling] 35 00:01:52,251 --> 00:01:53,209 Oh! 36 00:01:53,293 --> 00:01:54,209 [yowls] 37 00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:56,293 [dramatic music playing] 38 00:02:02,293 --> 00:02:07,709 Long story short, I've come to make your life here hell on earth! 39 00:02:08,293 --> 00:02:09,751 Mw-ha-ha-ha-ha-- 40 00:02:09,834 --> 00:02:11,293 [choking] 41 00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:12,418 -[coughs] -[mouse squeaking] 42 00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:14,751 Yeah, is Hell even that bad? 43 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,251 I heard it got way better once you guys added that Fast Pass. 44 00:02:17,334 --> 00:02:21,209 I had to. The lines were insane. I did make signing up annoying, though. 45 00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:23,918 There's a whole email confirmation step and-- Hey! 46 00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:28,668 As Lord Satan, I command you to open this enchanted robot wall! 47 00:02:29,293 --> 00:02:31,709 -[banging] -Open the door! Open it! 48 00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:34,584 [heavenly tone plays] 49 00:02:35,626 --> 00:02:37,876 [horns honking] 50 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,334 -[soft music playing] -[label machine clicking] 51 00:02:40,418 --> 00:02:44,709 Marv, Mr. Bulkington wants to see you in his office right away. 52 00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:45,959 [Marv whimpering] 53 00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:48,543 [Mr. Bulkington] Marv, some people might look down there 54 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,543 and just see folks shopping, 55 00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:56,751 but what I see is 640 ounces of canola oil finding a new home. 56 00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:59,376 Y-- Yes, sir. Very oily, sir. 57 00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:03,876 Marv, I called you in because the world's biggest tartar sauce company 58 00:03:03,959 --> 00:03:06,084 approached us to do a promotion. 59 00:03:06,168 --> 00:03:09,251 As it happens, our town of Horkville is where-- 60 00:03:09,334 --> 00:03:11,959 Tartar sauce was invented in 1904, 61 00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:14,751 when a mayonnaise wench was crushed under a pickle wagon. 62 00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:19,584 Hey, I-- I have a great idea. Let's do a reenactment here in the store. 63 00:03:19,668 --> 00:03:22,376 You sure? That's a lot to take on, isn't it? 64 00:03:22,459 --> 00:03:25,543 Sir, I've done reenactments my whole life. 65 00:03:25,626 --> 00:03:29,376 I've done Civil War, Korean War, the War on Drugs. 66 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,668 I played a methadone suppository. 67 00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:37,043 Okay, Higgins. If you pull this off, it could mean a promotion. 68 00:03:37,126 --> 00:03:38,793 Now if you'll excuse me, 69 00:03:38,876 --> 00:03:41,793 I'm gonna go shoot paintballs at the new bag boy. 70 00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:44,876 Made eye contact with me in the parking lot. I won't have it. 71 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,543 [laughs] 72 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,209 [both laughing] 73 00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:49,626 [grunting] 74 00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:50,626 [inhales sharply] 75 00:03:50,709 --> 00:03:54,209 -[chains clinking] -[groaning] 76 00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:55,959 Must you do that, Mother? 77 00:03:56,043 --> 00:03:59,418 Between the chains and the groaning, you sound like a ghost with hemorrhoids. 78 00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:03,043 Hey, anyone seen my catnip-infused teddy bear? 79 00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:05,043 I need a new afternoon activity, 80 00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:07,793 and I'm bored of leaving dead seagulls in your hampers. 81 00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:11,668 What up, Mom? Hey, could you give Aidan and me a ride to Big Bulk? 82 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,043 We're going to do the Non-Toxic Challenge. 83 00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:17,418 [chuckles] It's when you see how much non-toxic cleaning product 84 00:04:17,501 --> 00:04:20,043 you can drink before you actually get sick. 85 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:23,501 Okay, no more TikTok hashtag whatevers. 86 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:27,418 You should be doing something useful, like exercising with me. 87 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,084 Yeah, no, I'm not taking you to Big Bulk. 88 00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:31,626 [Aidan growling, grunting] 89 00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:35,084 I can't believe you would embarrass me in front of Aidan like that, Mom. 90 00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:38,376 Do you have any idea how Internet-famous he is? 91 00:04:38,459 --> 00:04:40,751 He's "Kid Who Ate a Sack of Nickels." 92 00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:41,834 [car door opens, closes] 93 00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:45,543 You guys, my boss asked me to organize a re-enactment at work 94 00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:47,918 about the creation of tartar sauce. 95 00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:51,751 Wow. I haven't seen you this excited since our wedding night. 96 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,834 I took him to Star Wars on Ice. 97 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,876 Oh yes, I recall that tartar flood. 98 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,334 I familiarized myself with it when I made a diorama 99 00:04:58,418 --> 00:05:00,543 on corporate negligence for personal amusement. 100 00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:04,168 This is why you spent prom night alone at the Bug Museum. 101 00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:06,959 The tartar company cut safety protocols to save money. 102 00:05:07,043 --> 00:05:11,376 A vat came loose and unleashed a river of tartar, drowning 23. 103 00:05:11,459 --> 00:05:14,584 Perhaps I could help. A true father-daughter activity. 104 00:05:14,668 --> 00:05:18,834 Ah. That's what my dad used to call it when he made me play catch. 105 00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:20,751 [ominous music plays] 106 00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:24,751 [sighing] 107 00:05:24,834 --> 00:05:27,293 You dare tip over my food bowl. 108 00:05:27,376 --> 00:05:32,293 Who, me? Beelzebub, Lady Of Darkness, whose mission on Earth is to torture you? 109 00:05:32,376 --> 00:05:34,334 Mw-ha-ha-ha-ha! 110 00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,126 I mean, "torture" is a strong word. 111 00:05:37,209 --> 00:05:39,459 Let's face it, you're bad at your job. 112 00:05:39,543 --> 00:05:40,918 That's why they sent you here. 113 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:44,793 Ah-oh. They made a mistake sending me here. I am evil. 114 00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:48,293 Why do you think I stole all the jewels from your sandy treasure chest? 115 00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:50,251 "Sandy treasure chest"? 116 00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:52,543 Wait, do you still not know what a litter box is? 117 00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:56,501 Enough! You don't think I'm evil? Well, take a look at your friend. 118 00:05:56,584 --> 00:06:01,084 Teddy McYummyBelly? No! 119 00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,959 -[Beelzebub chuckling] -[Godcat] Oh! 120 00:06:03,043 --> 00:06:06,168 That is it. It's go time! 121 00:06:06,251 --> 00:06:07,959 This is the big fight. 122 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:09,918 Good versus evil. 123 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:11,043 [dramatic music playing] 124 00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:13,793 Foolish, pot-bellied cat God, 125 00:06:13,876 --> 00:06:15,376 evil always wins. 126 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,709 [both growling] 127 00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,501 [both meowing, grunting] 128 00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:22,959 No. 129 00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:24,834 [laughs] 130 00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:27,168 [laughing] Whoa. 131 00:06:27,251 --> 00:06:29,626 Look at those dumb cats. 132 00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:32,001 I've got to put this on my livestream. 133 00:06:32,084 --> 00:06:33,626 -[dramatic music continues] -[yelling] 134 00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:34,959 [screaming] 135 00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:39,834 [screaming] 136 00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:50,501 Wow! He went off like chili in the microwave, didn't he? 137 00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:57,626 And so, in summation, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm here on Earth to become evil, 138 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,126 but I didn't intend to incinerate children using magical fireballs. 139 00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:04,001 Well, maybe children who cry on airplanes, but no other children. 140 00:07:04,084 --> 00:07:05,709 Look. We all wanna murder Aidan, 141 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,543 but there's a stupid law that says we can't. 142 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:09,626 So, go up to Heaven and bring him back. 143 00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:13,459 [scoffs] You think we'd let that walking vape pen into Heaven? 144 00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:16,209 [scoffs] He's like an onion ring that learned how to cuss. 145 00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:19,251 Wait, Aidan is in… Hell? 146 00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:22,251 Teenagers don't go to Hell. They go to heck. It's like juvie. 147 00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:25,751 If you behave, you get reincarnated into a butterfly or whatever. 148 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,209 If not, you go to Hell. 149 00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:29,168 Demons barbecue your nuts, 150 00:07:29,251 --> 00:07:32,251 eat your boobs, do Borat impressions, all that. 151 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,626 Well, we've got to get him back! 152 00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:35,876 I actually shouldn't be telling you this, 153 00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:39,501 but there is a way you can sneak down and bring him back. 154 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,751 Either I can enchant a porta-potty 155 00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:44,876 that's been marinating in the sun for two days, 156 00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:47,709 or you can walk in through an Imagine Dragons concert. 157 00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:50,793 [dramatic music playing] 158 00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:51,959 [Travis gags] 159 00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:55,751 You'll be fine. Oh, and don't forget to get out of there in under two hours, 160 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:58,376 or you'll be stuck there forever. Okay, bye. 161 00:07:58,459 --> 00:08:00,001 [both screaming] 162 00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:06,668 Wait, I forgot. I'm gonna need a can opener 163 00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:10,751 because I'm about to open a whoop can of ass. 164 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:15,043 I hope you like unbearably long stretches of excruciating pain. 165 00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:19,834 Ha! Are you kidding me? I'm the one who invented open mic nights. 166 00:08:19,918 --> 00:08:21,501 Let's do this. 167 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,334 -Armageddon! -Armageddon! 168 00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:27,709 Wait, doesn't like the sky rain blood, 169 00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,626 or the Earth opens up or something? 170 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,293 What's it say in that book you wrote? 171 00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:33,043 Um… 172 00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:37,126 Oh stop! I knew it. You didn't write a word of that book. 173 00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:40,126 I sat in on the blue sky session with the writers, 174 00:08:40,209 --> 00:08:43,459 and I came up with the title "The Holly Bibble." 175 00:08:43,543 --> 00:08:44,543 Hmm. 176 00:08:44,626 --> 00:08:47,293 If this is the actual big-time Armageddon, 177 00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:49,543 aren't we gonna need like a plague of locusts? 178 00:08:49,626 --> 00:08:50,793 Where do we get those? 179 00:08:50,876 --> 00:08:52,334 [dramatic music plays] 180 00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:57,293 Now, Kendra, remember: you love your husband, but not romantically. 181 00:08:57,376 --> 00:09:00,876 He's a decent man, but your true soulmate is your cousin. 182 00:09:01,376 --> 00:09:04,334 Hey, Roy. We're better than single ply. 183 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:08,084 We're in the theater business now. I got to have that quad ply. 184 00:09:08,668 --> 00:09:12,001 Greta, I think I'm really getting the hang of this director thing. 185 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:15,501 I just screamed at my assistant for like no reason. 186 00:09:15,584 --> 00:09:18,876 Wow. So how are you going to depict the deadly tartar flood? 187 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:22,584 I saw some frozen turkeys in aisle two that you can dress up as drowned corpses. 188 00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:24,668 People don't want to see all that. 189 00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:27,584 You can't just skip over the fact that people died. 190 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,418 That'd be like directing Titanic but cutting out the guy 191 00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:34,334 who bounced off the smokestack. Corporate greed cannot dictate history. 192 00:09:34,418 --> 00:09:37,543 Corporate greed? Ha. Sounds like Big Bulk. 193 00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:40,334 Old Percy here got his arm caught in the trash compactor, 194 00:09:40,418 --> 00:09:42,834 and they wouldn't even pay for a proper prosthetic. 195 00:09:42,918 --> 00:09:46,668 Yeah, and, you know, the employee restroom is just a bucket out back. 196 00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:50,501 I never get lunch breaks, and our dental plan is just a shoebox 197 00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:53,376 full of loose teeth they found in the parking lot. 198 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,043 -Not fair. I'm trying to keep my job. -This is ridiculous. 199 00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:57,876 -I got no benefits. -I need sustenance. 200 00:09:57,959 --> 00:10:01,626 Are you all familiar with the term "collective bargaining"? No? 201 00:10:01,709 --> 00:10:05,418 Have you ever seen a lion being devoured by hyenas? Same principle. 202 00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:08,626 But, Greta, we were supposed to-- [groaning] 203 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,084 Marv, I have the new script pages 204 00:10:11,168 --> 00:10:14,126 for the love scene between the pickle and the mayonnaise. 205 00:10:14,209 --> 00:10:15,043 Agh! 206 00:10:15,126 --> 00:10:19,084 I said NC-17, damn it. This is barely R! 207 00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:20,626 -[Abbie screaming] -[both grunt] 208 00:10:21,126 --> 00:10:25,001 [Travis] Whoa. We're in Hell. Uh, Heck, I guess. 209 00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:27,293 [Abbie] What is Hell for a teenager? 210 00:10:28,418 --> 00:10:32,209 -[both gasp] -TJ Maxx on a Saturday? 211 00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:33,793 [ominous music playing] 212 00:10:33,876 --> 00:10:35,626 -[screaming] -[laughing] 213 00:10:36,876 --> 00:10:37,918 [screaming] 214 00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:39,043 [laughs] 215 00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:42,043 The crotch looks loose. Is the crotch loose? 216 00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:43,709 No! 217 00:10:43,793 --> 00:10:46,334 Oh. I think I'm gonna be sick. 218 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:49,668 Come on. Aidan is probably a few levels in by now. 219 00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:53,001 Agh! I don't know why you hang out with that kid anyway. 220 00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:55,084 Um, because his life is dope, 221 00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:58,084 and his folks don't diss everything he likes. 222 00:10:58,168 --> 00:11:00,709 They leave him home alone for weeks at a time. 223 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,584 Yesterday, I got to pet a deer that wandered through the living room. 224 00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:07,168 [gasps] A wooden plaque with two mice doing house chores? 225 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,709 Ooh. Sold! 226 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,209 [man on intercom] Unauthorized adult! Unauthorized adult! 227 00:11:11,293 --> 00:11:13,959 -[both gasp] -Unauthorized adult! Unauthorized adult! 228 00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:17,293 -Unauthorized adult! Unauthorized adult! -[grunting] 229 00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:21,251 [Godcat humming] 230 00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:24,459 Okay, where would Armageddon be? 231 00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:26,626 I guess I'll just start at the end. 232 00:11:26,709 --> 00:11:29,709 So the label on the locusts says they're all freeze-dried. 233 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,043 We can toss 'em in the air fryer to wake 'em up. 234 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:38,209 Armageddon, pages 1113 through 1272? Oof. 235 00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:39,168 Hey, look! 236 00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:40,501 [dramatic music plays] 237 00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:42,751 This will be a time saver. 238 00:11:43,668 --> 00:11:45,668 [suspenseful music playing] 239 00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:48,126 [whistle blowing] 240 00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:50,376 Welcome to the second level of Heck, 241 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:53,543 where you'll be doing the Presidential Fitness Challenge. 242 00:11:53,626 --> 00:11:54,501 [blows whistle] 243 00:11:54,584 --> 00:11:58,584 First, you're gonna climb, then you're gonna pull… 244 00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:00,001 [groaning] 245 00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:04,376 …then you're gonna run against roided-out cheetahs. 246 00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:05,876 [cheetahs growling] 247 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,709 Look, there's the exit. Let's go. 248 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,501 Then I want 50 push-ups, 249 00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:15,001 or I make you all wear short shorts that haven't been washed since the '90s! 250 00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:16,251 Quick, sit-ups. 251 00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:20,043 Okay. When the coach moves, make a break for that exit. 252 00:12:20,126 --> 00:12:21,793 Travis, your form. Ugh. 253 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:24,209 This is what you always wanted, right? 254 00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:27,709 Me being forced to do something miserable and sweaty with you. 255 00:12:27,793 --> 00:12:30,876 Like when you signed us up for "Mommy and Me Krav Maga." 256 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:34,834 Sorry for wanting to spend quality time with my child 257 00:12:34,918 --> 00:12:37,709 while giving him the gift of improved core strength. 258 00:12:37,793 --> 00:12:42,168 You know, when I was 14, I was already Regional Sit-Up Champion. 259 00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:44,793 Oh, your mom must have been so proud. 260 00:12:44,876 --> 00:12:48,751 I'm sure she hung it up next to your Cross-Fitted Lumber Squats trophy. 261 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:52,501 Pfft! Ah! Wrong. My mother never hung up any of my awards. 262 00:12:52,584 --> 00:12:55,168 In fact, she didn't approve of anything I liked. 263 00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:57,668 That's why I left home to join the Navy. 264 00:12:57,751 --> 00:12:59,543 Really, that's why we don't-- 265 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:02,876 That's why we don't speak anymore. 266 00:13:03,376 --> 00:13:05,376 [groaning] 267 00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:09,959 [Aidan] Please, no more. Make it stop! 268 00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:11,959 That's him! Let's go. 269 00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,543 -[dramatic music playing] -[cheetahs growling] 270 00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,584 [Travis panting] 271 00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:20,668 -[suspenseful music playing] -[both panting] 272 00:13:23,126 --> 00:13:25,209 [Aidan groaning] 273 00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:29,418 Please, I don't need a tea cozy. I don't even drink tea. 274 00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:32,168 Oh, dear God, I hate arts and crafts. 275 00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:36,126 I remember when hamburgers cost a nickel. 276 00:13:36,209 --> 00:13:40,793 Oh yes. A hammy fiver. Richard used to love those. 277 00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:43,376 This was before the war, of course. 278 00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:45,043 Please stop. 279 00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:47,084 Nobody knows who Richard is. 280 00:13:47,168 --> 00:13:49,709 What war? [groaning] 281 00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:54,251 How many megapixels do I need if I wanna call my grandson? 282 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,501 -I have some AOL floppies in my purse. -[beeps] 283 00:13:57,584 --> 00:14:00,459 Wait, wait. Wait, there it goes. I'm getting his voicemail. 284 00:14:00,543 --> 00:14:04,084 Hello? Philip? It's me, Nana. 285 00:14:04,168 --> 00:14:06,293 Dot com. How are the kids? 286 00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:10,293 I saw this documentary the other day about processed corn. 287 00:14:10,376 --> 00:14:11,376 [groaning] 288 00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:14,876 Nobody wants that kind of voice mail! 289 00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:16,126 We've got to help him. 290 00:14:16,209 --> 00:14:17,834 [gasps] I have an idea. 291 00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,584 [suspenseful music playing] 292 00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:20,876 Werther's Originals! 293 00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:23,626 Your favorite! Go get 'em. 294 00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:26,793 -[demons growling] -[music intensifies] 295 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,501 All these years, I wondered what the fifth element was. 296 00:14:32,459 --> 00:14:35,543 -Turns out, it's love. -[Godcat sobbing softly, sniffling] 297 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:36,751 [sighing] 298 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,834 Who is this Bruce Willis? 299 00:14:38,918 --> 00:14:40,918 Is he some God I don't know? 300 00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:43,334 I've never seen him at any of the meetups. 301 00:14:43,418 --> 00:14:46,959 Yo, Marv. Where's that sample stand with the mini crab cakes? 302 00:14:47,043 --> 00:14:49,209 Not now. I'm trying to bond with Greta, 303 00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:51,334 but she convinced my employees to strike and-- 304 00:14:51,418 --> 00:14:53,501 Uh-huh. Yeah. Kids say the darndest things. 305 00:14:53,584 --> 00:14:56,459 Anyhow, where can a cat get some crab cakes 306 00:14:56,543 --> 00:14:59,126 before he starts the Look Who's Talking trilogy? 307 00:14:59,209 --> 00:15:00,709 Hey, when I was looking for locusts, 308 00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:04,334 I grabbed this. It was the last one on the shelf. 309 00:15:04,418 --> 00:15:07,709 [gasps] A new Teddy McYummyBelly? 310 00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:10,959 [sniffs] Mmm. That's a nice strain of nip. 311 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:15,043 Sweet, piney, with just a hint of raccoon scat. 312 00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:16,918 [whimsical music playing] 313 00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:21,001 This has been nice. I can't remember the last time I watched a movie. 314 00:15:21,084 --> 00:15:22,959 My schedule is just blah. 315 00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:26,459 Ugh! Same. Between the emails and the Zoom calls. 316 00:15:26,543 --> 00:15:30,584 Like, hey, where's the calendar invite for living my life? 317 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,501 Totally. Thank you. 318 00:15:32,584 --> 00:15:36,126 Actually, after I finish working on my evil game, 319 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:38,834 I figured I'd take a few days for myself up here. 320 00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,834 Hey. Any recommendations for a demon? 321 00:15:40,918 --> 00:15:42,751 Oh, you would love Florida. 322 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:45,418 When I was shaping the continents, I thought it'd be funny 323 00:15:45,501 --> 00:15:47,876 to make America look like it had a flaccid penis. 324 00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:51,334 Then I filled it base to tip with human garbage. 325 00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,084 -[sighs] Mmm. -Mmm. 326 00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:54,959 [both chuckle] 327 00:15:55,043 --> 00:15:56,126 [Beelzebub belches] 328 00:15:57,626 --> 00:15:58,793 What did you do that for? 329 00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,668 I just figured it'd screw over that Marv guy. 330 00:16:01,751 --> 00:16:03,459 Be evil. You get it. 331 00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:07,668 Also, destroying things while in cat form? Super satisfying. 332 00:16:07,751 --> 00:16:08,876 Whoa! 333 00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:11,501 I'm trying to help Marv and the family, and-- 334 00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:14,918 Wait a minute. I just remembered I hate you. 335 00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,251 Oh yeah! I hate you too. 336 00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:21,959 Okay, Armageddon is back on, and there's a stage right here 337 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:25,293 so everyone can watch me Marie Kondo your organs! 338 00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:26,209 One hour. 339 00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:27,126 Fine! 340 00:16:27,209 --> 00:16:29,251 [dramatic music plays] 341 00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:32,168 [Godcat groans] 342 00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:35,668 -[suspenseful music playing] -[panting] 343 00:16:35,751 --> 00:16:37,793 [all panting] 344 00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:40,709 [Keith] Oh, oh. Oh, Linda! 345 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:43,084 [Linda] Oh, Keith! [laughs] 346 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,376 Mom? 347 00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:47,043 Oh, Stepdad Keith? 348 00:16:47,126 --> 00:16:48,209 [exclaims] 349 00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:49,584 [Aidan panting] 350 00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:51,793 [screaming] 351 00:16:51,876 --> 00:16:55,168 Oh God! So much body hair! 352 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:57,959 And none of it in the places I want! 353 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:02,959 [man] Now playing Abbie Higgins' most listened to song on Spotify. 354 00:17:03,043 --> 00:17:06,209 ♪ Wake me up! Wake me up inside… ♪ 355 00:17:07,168 --> 00:17:09,168 [dramatic music playing] 356 00:17:09,251 --> 00:17:10,584 [music intensifies] 357 00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:14,876 -The hallways are just getting longer. -Stop. Hold on. 358 00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:16,834 When I did the #selfhelpchallenge, 359 00:17:16,918 --> 00:17:19,793 I had to learn to face my demons using nonlinear thinking. 360 00:17:19,876 --> 00:17:21,459 We can't keep running from them. 361 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,209 [all screaming] 362 00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:26,959 [loud thud] 363 00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:30,418 Okay. We're almost out of-- 364 00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:32,918 Agh! 365 00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:35,001 What-- What are they? 366 00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:36,709 My worst enemies. 367 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:38,543 They are trolls. 368 00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:41,001 It's the "horky-porky" kid. 369 00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:43,918 He went viral for dancing the hokey-pokey. 370 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:48,584 ♪ You put your right foot in You put your left foot out ♪ 371 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:49,959 [all laughing] 372 00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:54,459 Hey, he was like four years old. He hadn't even learned to wipe yet. 373 00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:56,376 [laughing continues] 374 00:17:58,918 --> 00:18:02,084 No, Mom, don't. You can't use logic with trolls. 375 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,501 They'll just multiply. 376 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:07,001 Just ignore the idiotic things they say, no matter how hard it is. 377 00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:12,584 -You'll never go viral for anything else. -Pineapple on pizza's delicious. 378 00:18:12,668 --> 00:18:13,626 Avatar rocked. 379 00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:16,543 Ben Affleck is the best Batman! 380 00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:19,709 Please, react. Please! 381 00:18:19,793 --> 00:18:23,376 If you don't react, we don't exist! 382 00:18:23,459 --> 00:18:24,709 No! 383 00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,376 [all screaming] 384 00:18:29,251 --> 00:18:33,584 [man] Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Imagine Dragons! 385 00:18:33,668 --> 00:18:35,376 -[people cheering] -[boys groaning] 386 00:18:37,251 --> 00:18:38,668 [Greta] Daytime manager Higgins, 387 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,918 I've been sent here by your labor force with a list of their demands. 388 00:18:43,376 --> 00:18:44,751 Bathroom breaks? 389 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:45,959 Name tags? 390 00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:50,751 Look, if people cared what our names were, we wouldn't be working at Big Bulk. 391 00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:54,126 We'd be working somewhere fancy, like Kmart. 392 00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:58,126 Very well. Workers, we strike! 393 00:18:58,209 --> 00:18:59,751 [patriotic music playing] 394 00:19:01,168 --> 00:19:04,959 [all cheering] Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! 395 00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:08,501 -Strike! -Well, the show must go on. 396 00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:16,668 [dramatic music playing] 397 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:23,626 Suit-ius Carne Asad-ius! 398 00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:28,959 Time to meat your maker. 399 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,501 All-day comfort and protection! 400 00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:42,584 Sorry. I didn't have a line prepared. 401 00:19:42,668 --> 00:19:45,209 I just read the first thing I saw on the tampon box. 402 00:19:46,334 --> 00:19:47,334 Armageddon! 403 00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:48,959 [both yelling] 404 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,043 Ya, ha, ha. 405 00:19:58,293 --> 00:20:00,293 [both grunting] 406 00:20:04,168 --> 00:20:05,668 [music continues] 407 00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:11,209 -[Godcat groaning] -[Beelzebub laughing] 408 00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:13,959 [groaning] 409 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:17,376 That's my bad hamstring, the one I pulled in that three-way. 410 00:20:20,459 --> 00:20:22,584 [music continues] 411 00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:24,376 [gasping] 412 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,334 Oh the pain! 413 00:20:28,418 --> 00:20:31,668 My arm! It was USDA prime. 414 00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:32,876 Possibly Wagyu. 415 00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:37,334 Now it's time for you to Die Hard with a Vengeance. 416 00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:39,209 [chainsaw buzzing] 417 00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:40,876 [sighing] 418 00:20:42,459 --> 00:20:43,626 I can't do it. 419 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,918 'Tis not the way of Lord Willis. 420 00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:47,334 [whirring] 421 00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:48,876 [dramatic music playing] 422 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:50,459 [screaming] 423 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:52,376 [people screaming] 424 00:20:55,293 --> 00:20:57,918 Help! I can't swim! 425 00:20:58,918 --> 00:21:00,501 Yippee-ki-yay, mother-- 426 00:21:01,626 --> 00:21:05,709 [all] Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! 427 00:21:07,584 --> 00:21:08,751 [gasping] 428 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,459 [all] Strike! Strike! Strike! 429 00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:11,626 [whimpering] 430 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:12,584 [engine starts] 431 00:21:13,126 --> 00:21:14,001 [whimpers] 432 00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:16,126 Look out! 433 00:21:18,293 --> 00:21:19,668 [Greta groaning] 434 00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:22,834 Ha! 435 00:21:22,918 --> 00:21:24,084 Father! 436 00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:26,876 The absorption coefficient. How did you know? 437 00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:30,709 Like I said, we got to have that quad ply. [chuckling] 438 00:21:32,293 --> 00:21:35,168 Yeah, it-- It was earlier. You-- You weren't there. 439 00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:36,918 [both coughing] 440 00:21:38,418 --> 00:21:40,084 -You saved my life. -[Godcat sighs] 441 00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:43,126 Yeah. It's no big deal. I just-- 442 00:21:43,209 --> 00:21:44,459 [gasping] 443 00:21:45,376 --> 00:21:49,334 -Teddy! Hold on! I'm coming for-- -No! Godcat, it's too dangerous! 444 00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:53,459 No! 445 00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:55,084 This is your fault. 446 00:21:55,168 --> 00:21:58,876 Back off or next time, you'll be served here as a free sample. 447 00:21:58,959 --> 00:22:01,709 Wait, you're saying I was so evil today 448 00:22:02,209 --> 00:22:05,293 I made your life a living hell? 449 00:22:05,376 --> 00:22:06,293 It's working! 450 00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:08,959 [in demonic voice] Earth is making me horrible! 451 00:22:09,459 --> 00:22:10,793 [birds chirping] 452 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:14,668 Hey, buddy. I'm sorry I didn't drive you here when you asked. 453 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:18,459 Look, my mom never cared about the things I was into, 454 00:22:18,543 --> 00:22:23,668 but I wanna be involved in your life. Otherwise, you might become like Aidan. 455 00:22:23,751 --> 00:22:27,209 Not a chance. You have no idea how much shampoo I've seen him drink. 456 00:22:27,293 --> 00:22:29,501 Suck it! [laughs] 457 00:22:29,584 --> 00:22:31,126 [moaning, groaning] 458 00:22:34,584 --> 00:22:35,709 Greta, listen. 459 00:22:35,793 --> 00:22:38,376 I'm sorry I didn't walk the picket line with you. 460 00:22:38,459 --> 00:22:41,793 I got too caught up in trying to make you think I was cool. 461 00:22:41,876 --> 00:22:44,668 Father, I think you're cooler than absolute zero. 462 00:22:44,751 --> 00:22:47,793 Hey, my dad used to call me absolute zero too. 463 00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:49,084 -[Greta chuckles] -Mmm. 464 00:22:49,709 --> 00:22:52,168 It-- It was mean when… when he said it. 465 00:22:52,251 --> 00:22:53,084 I know. 466 00:22:53,751 --> 00:22:56,043 Hey, everybody gather 'round. 467 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,793 Look what I got for you. 468 00:22:58,876 --> 00:23:00,918 Name tags! 469 00:23:01,626 --> 00:23:02,459 Ooh. 470 00:23:02,543 --> 00:23:03,668 [uplifting music playing] 471 00:23:05,126 --> 00:23:06,584 [all cheering] 472 00:23:06,668 --> 00:23:09,501 [man] It has my name. My name! 473 00:23:09,584 --> 00:23:12,001 [Godcat slurping] 474 00:23:12,584 --> 00:23:16,251 [groaning] Stupid devil, can't even swim. 475 00:23:16,334 --> 00:23:19,418 How does she expect to run Hell? If I-- [gasps] 476 00:23:19,501 --> 00:23:21,084 [dramatic sting] 477 00:23:21,168 --> 00:23:22,959 [exclaims] 478 00:23:24,959 --> 00:23:26,334 [trippy music playing] 479 00:23:42,793 --> 00:23:44,001 [Teddy squeaking] 480 00:23:45,918 --> 00:23:47,918 [Godcat moaning] 481 00:23:48,918 --> 00:23:52,251 [Godcat chuckling] 482 00:23:53,959 --> 00:23:57,709 I'm never letting you go. [laughs] 483 00:23:59,001 --> 00:24:00,793 [dramatic music playing] 484 00:24:02,793 --> 00:24:04,793 [upbeat music playing] 485 00:24:48,001 --> 00:24:48,876 [music ends]