1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,674
這裡是很熱門的迪克景點

2
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:12,930
右手邊有他可能踩過的泥坑,大概啦

3
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,473
(特平導覽之旅)

4
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:20,103
還有那邊那棵樹,據說迪克曾經靠在上面

5
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,939
{\an8}抱歉,導覽內容只有這樣嗎?

6
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:25,192
{\an8}你的宣傳單寫說有獨家管道
可以接觸到迪克

7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,945
對,內容很豐富,接下來還有很多東西

8
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,948
那個...我已經提過樹了吧?

9
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,408
終於啊

10
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,369
那個男人出現了

11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,956
- 是迪克特平
- 天啊

12
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,291
- 要開始了
- 天啊

13
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,545
什麼叫做他沒空?

14
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,338
各位,我以為我們說好了

15
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,966
他原本要來
但是有一場重要的小冊子簽名會

16
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,552
但我們大老遠跑來是為了讓迪克特平搶劫

17
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,138
而不是一群...抱歉,我非說不可
一群二流的無名小卒

18
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,890
嘿,聽好,我們不是無名小卒

19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,517
- 我們是艾塞克斯幫
- 沒錯

20
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,394
我們也被寫進那些小冊子了

21
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:01,979
- 有嗎?
- 大部分的時候

22
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,647
有些時候,好啦...

23
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,608
我們在小冊子上出現過一次

24
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,444
媽媽,我討厭他們,這太不公平了

25
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,989
- 搞什麼...
- 踢得好,親愛的

26
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,825
你們開心了嗎?看看普莉希拉的臉

27
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,160
她期待了好幾週,想要被迪克搶劫

28
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,621
沒錯,這讓人難以接受

29
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,290
但沒有退費,售後一概不退費

30
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,793
但你保證過
會有上得了檯面的知名攔路強盜

31
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,325
請恕我突然打擾各位

32
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,286
這才像話嘛

33
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,456
喂,那是我們先搶到的

34
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,209
抱歉

35
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:08,753
但我就是看不慣這麼美麗的寶物

36
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,382
竟落在如此無能的攔路強盜手中

37
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,843
- 真精彩
- 太厲害了

38
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,471
- 好棒的表演
- 過獎了

39
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,306
在我離開之前...

40
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,022
當然了,你也要

41
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,071
不,他不會每個人都親吧?

42
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:38,158
好了,雖然我很捨不得離開
如此可愛的女士...

43
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,826
我嗎?真的嗎?

44
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:45,040
但我還有工作要忙,必須告辭了

45
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,958
那句是法語

46
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,252
- 他會說法語,你們看
- 嘿

47
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,671
你不能就這樣偷走我們的財寶
還亂親大家

48
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,464
你是誰?

49
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,424
就讓我告訴你吧

50
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020
你要寫全名嗎?

51
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,438
對,稍等一下

52
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,356
{\an8}(湯米席維賽)

53
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,524
{\an8}完成

54
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,403
“提米傻瓜鞋”?

55
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,947
是湯米席維賽,聽好了

56
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:21,493
告訴迪克特平,亨普斯德現在是我的地盤

57
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,745
湯米上場囉

58
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,337
我們會轉告他的,湯米

59
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,841
下次見,希望啦

60
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,594
我是說,我都有空
但如果你很忙也沒關係

61
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,262
- 沒關係
- 妳是怎樣?

62
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,388
我不知道

63
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,306
別說了

64
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:45,309
那才是像樣的攔路強盜

65
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,108
(通緝令,艾塞克斯幫)

66
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:06,830
{\an8}《迪克特平的冒險歪傳》

67
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,168
{\an8}(廢墟酒館)

68
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,794
{\an8}(迪克特平的獨家首場小冊子簽名會)

69
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,880
我的首場小冊子簽名會,真讓人興奮

70
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,173
真不敢相信有這麼多人為了我來

71
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,634
迪克,你可是大明星呢

72
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,053
{\an8}嘿,妳看我的新簽名,很酷吧?

73
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,264
{\an8}是,很華麗,你寫了多久?

74
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,683
四小時,但我應該能縮短到三小時

75
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,684
很好

76
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,353
抱歉久等了,迪克

77
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:34,483
自從這家店被寫進紅赭女巫那期小冊子後
生意就超級好

78
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,693
我甚至得僱用新員工來幫忙

79
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,779
嘿,你們兩個,回去工作

80
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,449
我得開除他們,他們好沒用

81
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,201
爸,你來了

82
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:52,084
沒想到我會說出這種話
但我真的很引以為傲

83
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,419
對班尼

84
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,339
他的屠宰技術已經達到第五級了

85
00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:02,469
這男人是切肉魔術師,他是禽肉天才

86
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,054
- 我是剁肉冠軍
- 沒錯

87
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,557
還剁肉冠軍呢,那你有對我引以為傲嗎?

88
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,270
我無法容忍這種自我吹捧的行為

89
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,064
我只是來確認肉舖的廣告

90
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:18,485
“吃肉吧”

91
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,406
關於這點,你的字全都拼錯了
而且也沒寫地址

92
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,490
不

93
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,076
這是潛意識廣告

94
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,413
借過...抱歉,借過一下,抱歉

95
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,831
- 不好意思,借過
- 抱歉

96
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,168
迪克,我們有麻煩了
村裡新來了一名攔路強盜

97
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:38,422
他搶劫我們、亂親別人
還在我的外套上用刀劃出他的名字

98
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,632
“湯尼大賣場”?

99
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:41,675
不是

100
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,262
“湯米席維賽”
他說亨普斯德現在是他的地盤

101
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,222
這很不妙,因為這裡就是亨普斯德

102
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,308
- 對,而且他有鞭炮和煙霧
- 所以呢?

103
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:53,812
還有一頭豐厚、美麗、迷人又性感的秀髮

104
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,523
美麗、迷人又性感的秀髮?

105
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,400
我們得立刻找出這傢伙

106
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,652
他叫什麼來著?譚米殺蟲劑?

107
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,119
我來跟你說我的大名吧

108
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:16,335
誰是這位機智超群又帥氣的亡命之徒?

109
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:20,172
誰是這位打扮時髦又貴氣的英雄人物?

110
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,174
他會做回收分類嗎?

111
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:25,761
絕對不用懷疑,他當然也會捐錢做公益

112
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:30,182
但他不喜歡高調談起

113
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,143
他是湯米

114
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,272
湯米...席維賽,湯米席維賽,各位

115
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:41,985
在這首歌結束前,他將改變你的人生

116
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:45,572
沒人的眨眼比他調皮
沒人的詭計比他卑鄙

117
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,449
看看他的精壯體格

118
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,992
看看我的精壯體格

119
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:55,165
他迷倒眾生,還寫了自己的主題歌

120
00:06:55,165 --> 00:07:01,588
看看他,他甚至在修理剛才踢破的大門

121
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,634
這首歌已到尾聲,我們來總結一下

122
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,345
他的大名是湯米...

123
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:14,351
湯米...席維賽

124
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:18,939
慢著

125
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,942
我是迪克特平,你搶了我的伙伴們

126
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,070
- 現在還抄襲我的表演
- 你的表演?不...

127
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,907
你一身過時的打扮
才華遠遠不及我的一根手指頭

128
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,075
紅配黑?你認真?

129
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,327
現在是1733年嗎?

130
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,582
這是不敗的經典搭配

131
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,792
亨普斯德是我的地盤

132
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,960
如果你想來搶

133
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,548
就得先把我打得落花流水

134
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,049
好吧

135
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,385
我要向你提出決鬥挑戰

136
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,680
我不太喜歡槍,我是和平主義者

137
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,017
來場食物雕塑比賽如何?

138
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,104
- 最會雕蔬菜的人獲勝
- 像這樣嗎?

139
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,859
哇,看看那兩道四季豆眉毛

140
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,277
做工好精細

141
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,820
那編織比賽如何?

142
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,447
織出最舒適的開襟衫就當老大?

143
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,698
像這件嗎?

144
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,535
天啊,快看他的起伏針法

145
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,038
簡直是世界一流

146
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,331
確實是世界一流

147
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,292
好吧,你想要激烈的廝殺

148
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,337
那就來比隨風飄揚的秀髮吧

149
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,756
穆斯,去拿那把特大號扇子

150
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,302
對,很好

151
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,679
像這樣嗎?

152
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,275
我想要他用的潤髮乳

153
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,986
我想為他抹上潤髮乳

154
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,738
好吧,決鬥就決鬥

155
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:54,326
但如果我贏了,你就得離開亨普斯德
而且不准再抄襲我

156
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:59,873
那如果我贏了,你也得離開亨普斯德
並讓我接管你的幫派

157
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,793
我們約明天2點

158
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,211
在盧克伍大人家

159
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,839
明天的小冊子標題會這樣寫

160
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,926
“迪克在致命爭執中喪生”

161
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,846
應該是“迪克在致命決鬥中喪生”吧?

162
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,389
我喜歡,沒錯

163
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,682
妳一定就是那位作家

164
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,017
- 是的
- 你們倆是怎樣?

165
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,311
好,我們退場吧

166
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,236
這真是一場惡夢

167
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,529
迪克,等等

168
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,865
我要教你一件早就該教你的事

169
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,408
西班牙語會話嗎?

170
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,161
好,換你了

171
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,539
瞄準目標,然後開槍

172
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,332
別叫它“目標”,它有名字

173
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,417
不,它沒有

174
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,461
它只是個稻草假人,用來當槍靶的

175
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,880
其實它叫朱塞佩

176
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,797
它爸是義大利人

177
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,383
它有兩個孩子、一隻小狗
和可愛的稻草人妻子

178
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,218
妳覺得它最愛吃什麼?

179
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,261
我不知道

180
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,722
- 義大利麵?
- 什麼?因為是義大利人?

181
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,723
這有點種族歧視

182
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,641
其實它不吃固體食物

183
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,018
它只喝咖啡和檸檬酒

184
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,603
大部分時間都瘋瘋癲癲的

185
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,315
- 好,請你快開槍射它
- 我不能開槍射它

186
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,482
我現在認識它了

187
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,109
它下週四要帶我搭它的貢多拉船

188
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,321
要是湯米轟掉你的臉
你就活不到下週四了

189
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,115
妮兒,我很感激妳試圖幫我

190
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,576
但我不是像妳這種暴力的心理變態

191
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869
- 謝謝喔
- 況且

192
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,621
我把我的小手槍交給巫師克雷格了

193
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,414
他會對它施法,確保我百發百中

194
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,089
如果那樣行不通,我就用老方法

195
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,883
想出一個華麗的計畫

196
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,176
威風十足的計畫

197
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,637
湯米也很威風,他比你更威風

198
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,431
他沒有比我更威風,他頂多跟我一樣威風

199
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:43,769
不,他的威風氣勢遠遠勝過你

200
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,812
可以請你認真練習開槍嗎?

201
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,440
我知道妳在幹嘛了
我看得出這是怎麼回事

202
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,025
妳有點關心我吧?

203
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,443
只有一點點

204
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,321
- 因為我們是真朋友
- 好吧,我們是真朋友

205
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,282
拜託你試著當個真正的攔路強盜

206
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,537
對湯米那完美、迷人又性感的頭開槍

207
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:04,289
要是你不轟掉他的頭
我以後可能會想親他

208
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,167
好,因為我們是真朋友,我會打他的軀幹

209
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:11,922
不,迪克

210
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,507
妮兒,拜託妳別那樣鬼叫

211
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,716
我正在試著專注

212
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,677
我們被綁架了,瞭解

213
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:30,732
他在那裡

214
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,985
好,你確定要這麼做嗎?

215
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,279
相信我,妮兒正在幫助迪克獲勝

216
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,281
而我們要讓湯米失敗

217
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,991
但湯米沒有在決鬥中輸過

218
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,326
我會知道是因為他還活著

219
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,036
三個字,我的朋友

220
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,289
搞破壞

221
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,206
來吧

222
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,502
湯米

223
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,840
放開他,他不能呼吸了,穆斯很愛呼吸

224
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:55,841
抱歉

225
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,678
我受過近身格鬥訓練

226
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,139
有時很難控制自己

227
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:07,394
聽好,如果你們是來叫我取消決鬥

228
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,938
那湯哥恐怕不能答應你們

229
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,316
其實,我們是希望你贏

230
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,193
對,所以我們才來送你上路

231
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,153
- 我就知道
- 是去酒館

232
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,613
來帶你去酒館

233
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,698
不是要殺你,我們怎麼會想殺你?

234
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,159
我們想多多瞭解你

235
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,077
你很可能成為我們的新頭子

236
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,581
我知道你們在搞什麼

237
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:35,881
你們想把我灌醉,好讓我錯過決鬥

238
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:39,968
開玩笑的,兄弟

239
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,722
湯哥絕不會拒絕喝酒邀約

240
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,848
你們懂的,來

241
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:46,642
好耶

242
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,811
- 小心點
- 什麼?

243
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,648
好,首先,我要再做20下伏地挺身

244
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:57,486
- 一...
- 我們先不打擾你

245
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,489
不...留下來吧,我喜歡被人看

246
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,493
一、二...看著我

247
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,537
看看我做得多輕鬆

248
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,165
這裡是哪裡?

249
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,750
妮兒在哪裡?

250
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,628
不必擔心你的朋友

251
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,672
她在這裡待得很舒適

252
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:21,343
好,迪克特平

253
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,596
我們又見面了

254
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:26,557
我們之前見過嗎?

255
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:31,144
不,應該沒有

256
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:37,568
我是海倫古尼爾夫人,辛迪加集團的首領

257
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:39,820
我聽說過妳,妳是那位老大

258
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,156
沒錯...我想我確實是老大

259
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,993
而你偷了我的黃金

260
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,119
對,很抱歉

261
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,496
我很想還給妳,但我一下就輸光了

262
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,207
拿去賭兩位老太婆之間的殊死戰

263
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,418
可憐的桃莉,輸得好慘

264
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,004
她的骨質很疏鬆,還得用掃的把她移走

265
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,505
那場面很可怕

266
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,132
我知道

267
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,093
我一直很密切地盯著你

268
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,638
好,容我打斷一下,妳看起來人很好

269
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,349
但我才剛跟上一個死對頭分手

270
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,559
強納森威德

271
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,061
對,我還沒準備好投入另一段關係

272
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,063
所以,我想保持單身

273
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,024
也許跟幾位新敵人快速約會

274
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,275
找點樂子就好

275
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,820
迪克,我受寵若驚,但你並非為此而來

276
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,863
切斷繩子

277
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,327
- 把另一個人帶進來
- 放開我

278
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,871
嘿,我已經在走了,你沒必要拉我

279
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:33,665
- 妮兒
- 迪克

280
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:35,876
天啊

281
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,172
- 媽
- 妳好,親愛的

282
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,383
好耶

283
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,511
兩位,我們要點什麼?

284
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,847
來杯上等威士忌如何?

285
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,307
那會讓你更有男子氣概

286
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,726
好啊,我...還是要烈一點的?

287
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,561
醫療級酒精如何?

288
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,230
那會讓你的男子氣概加倍

289
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:59,775
好,大塊頭,再更烈一點的呢?

290
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:00,984
純乙醇

291
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,819
喝了只會掛掉

292
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:06,240
兩位,你們說的都很可怕
可以點啤酒就好嗎?

293
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,616
那這個如何?

294
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,994
南美蠍子蘭姆酒

295
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,580
至少我印象中是這個啦

296
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,626
酒瓶上沒有標籤,因為釀造師瞎了

297
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,878
太棒了

298
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,840
謝了,小凱倫

299
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,091
請好好享用

300
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,509
- 敬湯米
- 敬湯米

301
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:30,222
我會成為你們非常好的頭子

302
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:39,731
真是好酒

303
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,149
我還以為這酒很烈呢

304
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,110
- 確實很烈啊
- 好

305
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,194
再來

306
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,949
親愛的,妳真的有吃足夠的水果嗎?

307
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,409
妳的臉色好蒼白

308
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,078
對,因為有人綁架我

309
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,372
天啊,媽,妳為何總是要這樣?

310
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,833
不然我要怎麼見到妳?妳都不來看我

311
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,627
我仍然不敢相信她是妳媽

312
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,462
對,好吧,說出來吧

313
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,549
“妳媽是辛迪加集團的首領
真是一位大人物

314
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,217
妳永遠比不上她”

315
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:10,179
這正是我離家的原因

316
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:11,638
我要說的不是這個

317
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,348
我是說,她怎麼會是妳媽?

318
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,726
妳們看起來年紀一樣

319
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:19,188
好,特平先生,我知道你在耍什麼花樣了

320
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,522
閉嘴

321
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:24,151
好,抱歉,你可以停止跟我媽調情嗎?

322
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,903
她顯然想殺了你

323
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:28,780
我並不想殺了他,女兒

324
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,908
事實上,我算是他的粉絲

325
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,326
人之常情嘛

326
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,828
迪克特平,小冊子明星

327
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,330
我每一期都會看

328
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:40,876
但我必須說,那封面沒把你畫好

329
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,545
就是說嘛,他們沒畫出我的豐盈秀髮

330
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,922
完全不夠豐盈

331
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,509
天啊,對我施酷刑吧,拜託,我需要酷刑

332
00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,761
事實上,那正是我帶你們來的原因

333
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,765
歡迎來到辛迪加集團

334
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:04,900
本組織控制了全國幾乎所有的犯罪活動

335
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:08,111
康沃爾的綁架犯、伯克郡的竊賊

336
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,821
以及英國的每一位房地產經紀人

337
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,242
原來如此,我就知道那些傢伙很壞

338
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,576
但不只這些

339
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,540
我們的基層犯罪計畫讓我們引以為傲

340
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,709
培育著下一代的罪犯

341
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,170
這個故事有什麼寓意?

342
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,382
支持在地商家

343
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:29,967
差點就答對了,愛德華

344
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,928
是勒索,勒索在地商家

345
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,600
哇,這地方簡直跟妳一樣厲害

346
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,810
謝謝

347
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,104
我祖父靠自己的雙手打造了這裡

348
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,148
不,那不是事實吧?

349
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,942
他有一個40人的建築團隊

350
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:49,403
對,但他得整天鞭打他們,天天打

351
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,363
非常敬業

352
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:54,116
所以妳到底希望我做什麼?

353
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:57,578
迪克,我希望你加入我們

354
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:03,792
我們可以攜手將你打造為傳奇人物

355
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,253
天啊

356
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,135
席維“曬”先生,要再一杯嗎?

357
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:17,472
抱歉,兩位
你們想灌醉我的計畫是行不通的

358
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,018
我剛才就把烈酒換成水了

359
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,353
你早就知道我們在騙你?

360
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,438
中止行動

361
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,565
- 中止行動
- 等等,好

362
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:29,026
冷靜點,坐下

363
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,360
我們會成為幫派伙伴

364
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,363
而且我非常欣賞你們

365
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,407
所以,說說你們的故事吧

366
00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,284
穆斯,你談過戀愛嗎?

367
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,368
談過一次

368
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,830
對方是錫德卡普的女裁縫

369
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,751
我們談了一個夏天的戀愛,並在春天結婚

370
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:48,420
我總是讓她不滿意

371
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,798
她跟一個當地的起司商人跑了

372
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:56,762
我現在聞到布里起司都會感到深深的懊悔

373
00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,933
老實男,你呢?有不為人知的愛好嗎?

374
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:02,017
我會寫詩

375
00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:05,145
- 才怪
- 真的,我身上就有一首

376
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,563
站起來唸給我們聽吧

377
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,315
- 現在嗎?
- 對

378
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:10,817
好吧

379
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,988
“我喜歡寫詩

380
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,617
但我想知道

381
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:23,539
我的技巧是否會變...

382
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,417
- 好”
- 太棒了

383
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,586
- 好詩
- 寫得真好,感謝你

384
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,297
聽好,我得問一個問題

385
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,593
{\an8}迪克有過問這些內容嗎?

386
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,429
還是所有故事都只繞著他轉?

387
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,515
(迪克戰勝詛咒馬車)

388
00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:45,227
如果我當老大
所有成員都會出現在小冊子裡

389
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,771
好好想一想吧

390
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,942
還有,你們不用買單

391
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,069
我已經付完了

392
00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:56,572
謝了,湯米

393
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:10,627
哇,牛排

394
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,213
- 其實我...
- 吃素,我知道

395
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,591
這是手撕蘑菇和波羅蜜混合肉

396
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:19,845
- 大概有毒
- 天啊,親愛的

397
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:21,722
我只對妳下毒過一次

398
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,390
妳就抱怨個沒完沒了

399
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,933
好,言歸正傳

400
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:26,310
迪克,我想幫助你

401
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,730
金錢、資源、護髮品,你需要的任何東西

402
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,232
妳手下已經有很多罪犯,為何還需要他?

403
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,818
- 他超廢的
- 我才不廢

404
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,069
其實我確實很廢

405
00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:40,324
但你同時也是名人,這表示愚蠢的老百姓

406
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:43,160
似乎莫名其妙地喜歡被你搶劫

407
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,244
很有意思吧?

408
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,664
我是師奶殺手

409
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:54,004
如果我幫你把傳奇事蹟
發揚到亨普斯德以外的地方呢?

410
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,548
- 什麼?到科赤斯特嗎?
- 甚至更遠

411
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,091
該不會是諾里奇吧?

412
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,551
把眼光放到全世界

413
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,929
當然了,我是指英國和它的殖民地

414
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:04,973
我可以讓你成為巨星

415
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:10,145
你只需要簽名就好

416
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:12,147
不知道耶,海倫夫人

417
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,817
這一切似乎有點...邪惡?

418
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,654
當然很邪惡,她本身就很邪惡

419
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,697
別這麼誇張,親愛的

420
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,867
人人都有一點邪惡,這樣世界才有趣

421
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:27,621
聽著,我受寵若驚
但經歷了這麼多事之後

422
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:31,416
我發現自己並不需要名氣或財富
來得到快樂

423
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,543
我只需要我的伙伴

424
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,046
還有偶爾做個泰式按摩

425
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,589
我得拒絕妳的提議

426
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:40,300
妮兒,我們還得去贏得決鬥呢,走吧

427
00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:46,557
妳不會放我們走,對吧?

428
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,562
既然如此,那我們跑吧

429
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,438
- 好
- 真是沒規矩

430
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,527
湯米?這是怎麼回事?

431
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,780
天啊,他是妳的手下

432
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:03,407
當然

433
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,200
他原本是一份禮物

434
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,370
讓你在精彩刺激的決鬥中打敗的對手

435
00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,832
但既然你不願配合,那我就採取備用計畫

436
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,625
湯米因對手棄權而獲勝

437
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:17,462
當你明天缺席時,人們會視你為懦夫

438
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,842
而湯米則會成為小冊子中的英雄

439
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,970
你的豐功偉業都會變成他的

440
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:27,055
也就是我的

441
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,183
好,我有個問題,妳週六晚上有空嗎?

442
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,392
妳喜歡義大利菜嗎?

443
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,644
- 把他帶走
- 外帶也可以

444
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,646
衣索比亞菜呢?

445
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,357
西班牙小點?不斷送上來的小菜

446
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:40,235
妳好像以為我們的伙伴會放過妳

447
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:43,113
想得美,他們不會的

448
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,615
他們會的,愛蓮娜

449
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,910
因為如果妳不想辦法逼迫他們

450
00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:50,329
我就殺了他

451
00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:54,458
好了,請妳去洗個澡,化點妝

452
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,793
妳看起來像睡在樹林的野人

453
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:00,631
妳很清楚我確實睡在樹林

454
00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:03,717
(湯米席維賽,迪克特平
穆斯,妮兒,老實男)

455
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:13,644
滾進去,混蛋

456
00:23:13,644 --> 00:23:15,687
- 拜託
- 閉嘴

457
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:18,524
你們都沒說該怎麼點客房服務

458
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,109
迷你吧呢?

459
00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:38,877
我開始擔心了,迪克人呢?

460
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:39,962
{\an8}(迪克,迪克加油)

461
00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:42,881
他不需要睡這麼久的美容覺
他已經很俊美了

462
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:47,261
歡迎來到盧克伍塔參加今天的精彩決鬥

463
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:50,639
由湯米席維賽對上迪克特平

464
00:23:50,639 --> 00:23:53,433
他也被稱為未來人

465
00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:58,730
大人,我們不是討論過
他大概不是來自未來嗎?

466
00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,941
但他曾經是雞吧?

467
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:04,194
對,根據小冊子上的內容
我相信他曾經是雞

468
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,529
來自未來的雞

469
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:08,115
哎呀呀

470
00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:11,159
特平躲去哪兒躺平了?

471
00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:15,163
他到底要不要“平”本事決鬥?

472
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,584
他會“平”空出現嗎?

473
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:20,586
我有很多諧音哏

474
00:24:20,586 --> 00:24:21,670
等一下

475
00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:27,009
各位,我有消息要宣布

476
00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:29,344
迪克特平走了

477
00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:31,096
他死了

478
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:33,807
不

479
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,935
- 他只是離開了
- 沒事的,穆斯

480
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,103
他留下了這封信

481
00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:42,065
“親愛的妮兒、穆斯和老實男

482
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,736
我們的關係恐怕無法繼續了

483
00:24:45,736 --> 00:24:48,030
我想找別的幫派”

484
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,616
對,我原本是想私下讀那封信

485
00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:52,075
太遲了,我開始唸了

486
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,620
“穆斯,你太黏人了”

487
00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,997
我就知道我應該給他更多空間

488
00:24:56,997 --> 00:25:01,168
“老實男,我有半數時間
都搞不懂你在說什麼”

489
00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:04,254
哪一半?

490
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:09,843
“還有妮兒,我很怕妳
因為妳在各方面都太優秀”

491
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:12,554
- 對,沒錯
-“基本上,你們都有點廢

492
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,805
除了妮兒以外

493
00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,933
不值得我豁出性命

494
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:18,727
還有,我討厭亨普斯德

495
00:25:20,312 --> 00:25:22,189
永別了,迪克特平留”

496
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:25,984
我宣布,獲勝的是湯米席維賽

497
00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:28,362
他是亨普斯德的新任攔路強盜

498
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:37,079
現在,限你們在十秒內離開我的土地

499
00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:39,498
十、九...

500
00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:41,875
湯米,謝天謝地

501
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,920
這件事不太對勁,迪克不可能就這樣...

502
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,173
別再哭哭啼啼了,傻大個

503
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:51,844
- 什麼?
- 你們現在是湯米席維賽的手下

504
00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,096
湯米上場囉

505
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:55,055
...一

506
00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:46,732
字幕翻譯:翁乙玄