1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,674
[Craig] Now, this is a real Dick hot spot.
2
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:14,223
To your right we have some, um, mud
that, uh, he might've stepped in. Maybe.
3
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:20,103
Oh, over there, we have a tree that,
rumor has it, Dick once leant on.
4
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,939
{\an8}I'm sorry, is this it?
5
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:25,192
{\an8}Your brochure promised
exclusive Dick access.
6
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,945
Yeah. No, there's loads.
I've got loads coming up. Yeah.
7
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,948
The, um--
I-- I did the trees already, right?
8
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:31,990
[gunshot]
9
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,408
[Craig] Finally!
10
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,369
It's only the bloody man himself.
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,956
- It's Dick Turpin!
- [exclaims] Oh, my goodness.
12
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,291
- Oh, it's happening! It's happening!
- [squeals] Oh, my God.
13
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,545
What do you mean, he's not available?
14
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,338
Guys, I thought we had an agreement.
15
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,966
He was supposed to be here,
but he's doing a big pamphlet signing.
16
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,552
But we came all this way
to be robbed by Dick Turpin.
17
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,138
Not a bunch of-- and I'm sorry,
I have to say it-- second-rate nobodies.
18
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,890
Hey, hey, hey. Listen.
We're not nobodies, yeah?
19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,517
- We're the Essex Gang.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,394
We're in all the pamphlets too.
21
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,979
- Uh, are we?
- Most of the time.
22
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,647
- Some of the time. Okay, okay.
- [stammers]
23
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,608
One time, we were in a pamphlet.
24
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,444
Oh, Mama, I just hate them.
This is so unfair.
25
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,989
- Ow! What the f--
- Well done, darling.
26
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,825
Are you happy? Look at Priscilla's face.
27
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,160
She has been looking forward
to being robbed by Dick for weeks.
28
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,621
Yes! This is unacceptable!
29
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,290
No refunds though. All sales are final.
30
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,793
But we were promised a proper highwayman.
A celebrity highwayman.
31
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,420
[fireworks exploding]
32
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,393
Ha! [grunting]
33
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,608
[grunts]
34
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,030
[grunts]
35
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,325
Hope you don't mind me dropping in.
36
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,286
Now this is more like it.
37
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,245
[grunts]
38
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,456
Oi, oi! We robbed those first!
39
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,582
[grunts] Ha! Ah.
40
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,209
- [exclaims, chuckles]
- [highwayman] Apologies,
41
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:08,753
but I simply cannot allow
such stunning pieces
42
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,382
to remain in the hands of
such utterly hopeless highwaymen.
43
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,843
- Ooh, bravo.
- [chuckling] Very good.
44
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,471
- [parent 1 exclaims] Jolly good show.
- [highwayman] You're too kind.
45
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,306
And before I go...
46
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,643
- [inhales deeply]
- Ooh.
47
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,645
[chuckles]
48
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,022
And for you too, of course.
49
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,193
- [moaning]
- [gasping]
50
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,071
Oh, no. He's not kissing everyone, is he?
51
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:38,158
Now, while it pains me to depart
from such exquisite company...
52
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,745
- [chuckling] Me? Really? [giggles]
- [highwayman chuckles]
53
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:45,040
...duty calls, and I must bid you au revoir.
54
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,958
That's French.
55
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,252
- He speaks French. See?
- Hey!
56
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,671
You can't just steal our loot
and kiss everyone.
57
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,464
Who are you?
58
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,424
- [gasping]
- Let me tell you who I am.
59
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,013
- [grunting]
- [fabric ripping]
60
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020
Are you doing the whole name?
61
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,438
Yes. One moment.
62
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:09,940
{\an8}[Tommy] Done.
63
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,403
- Uh...
- [Honesty] Uh, "Timmy Sillyshoes"?
64
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,947
Uh, it's Tommy Silversides. Now, listen.
65
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:21,493
You tell Dick Turpin
Hempstead is my turf now.
66
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,745
It's Tommy time.
67
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,876
- [grunting] Yah!
- [neighing]
68
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,337
We'll tell him, Tommy!
69
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,841
See you around, I hope.
70
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,594
I mean, um, I'll be around,
but if you're busy, then it's cool.
71
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,262
- It's cool.
- What's wrong with you?
72
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,388
[gasps] I don't know.
73
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,306
Oh, just stop.
74
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:45,309
Now, that's a highwayman.
75
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,394
[theme music playing]
76
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,378
{\an8}[Dick] My first ever pamphlet signing.
77
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,880
It's so exciting.
78
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,173
I can't believe all these people
came here just for me.
79
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,634
You're a star, Dick.
80
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,593
[clicks tongue] Aw.
81
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,053
{\an8}Hey, check out my new signature.
Pretty cool, yeah?
82
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,264
{\an8}Yes, it's quite elaborate.
How long did that take?
83
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,683
Four hours.
But I reckon I could get it down to three.
84
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,684
Great.
85
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,353
Sorry for the holdup, Dick.
86
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:34,483
Since this place was featured in the
Reddlehag pamphlet, sales have exploded.
87
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,693
I've even had to hire new staff
to keep up.
88
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,779
Hey, you two, back to work!
89
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,449
I'm gonna have to get rid of them.
They're useless.
90
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,201
Dad, you came!
91
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,662
[clicking tongue]
92
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:52,084
Never thought I'd say this,
but, uh, I am actually so, so proud...
93
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:53,126
[chuckles]
94
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,003
- ...of Benny!
- Huh?
95
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,339
He's already slicing and dicing
at a grade-five level.
96
00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:02,469
The man is a meat magician.
He's a-- He's a-- He's a poultry prodigy.
97
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,054
- I'm a chop champ.
- Yeah.
98
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,557
Chop champ.
And are you proud of me in any way?
99
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:07,766
[scoffs]
100
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:11,270
I don't condone all of this
"self-aggrandisizing."
101
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,064
I'm only here to check the advert
for the shop.
102
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:18,485
"Eet Meet."
103
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,406
About that, you've spelt both the words
wrong and you haven't listed the address.
104
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,490
No.
105
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,076
[inhales deeply] It's subliminal.
106
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,413
[Moose] Coming through. Coming through.
Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me.
107
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,831
- Pardon me. Excuse me.
- [Nell] Sorry.
108
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,168
Dick, we got trouble.
There's a new highwayman in town.
109
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:38,422
He robbed us, and he kissed people,
and he carved his name on my coat.
110
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,632
"Donny Superstore"?
111
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:41,675
No.
112
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,262
"Tommy Silversides." [stammers]
He said Hempstead is his turf now.
113
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,222
And that's bad, because this is Hempstead.
114
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,308
- Yeah, and he had fireworks and smoke.
- So?
115
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:53,812
And this thick, beautiful, gorgeous,
luscious head of hair. [chuckles]
116
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,523
Beautiful, gorgeous,
luscious head of hair?
117
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,400
We need to find this guy immediately.
118
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,652
What was he called again?
Tammy Pesticides?
119
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,238
[patrons gasp, clamoring]
120
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,119
I'll tell you what my name is.
121
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:16,335
♪ Who's the dashing desperado
That no enemy can outwit? ♪
122
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:20,172
♪ Who's the dandy highway hero
In the snazziest outfit? ♪
123
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,174
♪ Does he separate recycling? ♪
124
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:25,761
♪ Oh, you never need to doubt it
And of course he gives to charity ♪
125
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:30,182
♪ But he doesn't like to talk about it ♪
126
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,143
♪ Ho! He's Tommy
Ho, ho! ♪
127
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,272
♪ Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Silversides
Tommy Silversides, everyone! ♪
128
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:41,985
♪ And before the song is over
He will change your lives ♪
129
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:45,572
♪ No one's cheeky winks are cheekier
No one's sneaky plans are sneakier ♪
130
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,449
♪ Check out his ripped physique ♪
131
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,992
♪ Check out my ripped physique ♪
132
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,703
- [gasping]
- [vocalizing]
133
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:55,165
♪ He makes the masses swoon
He wrote his own theme tune ♪
134
00:06:55,165 --> 00:07:01,588
♪ Look at him, he's even fixing
That front door that he just kicked in ♪
135
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,634
♪ This song is nearly over
So to summarize ♪
136
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,345
♪ His name is Tommy, Tommy, Tommy ♪
137
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:14,351
♪ Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Silversides ♪
138
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,855
- [vocalizing]
- [applauding]
139
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:18,939
[Dick] Not so fast.
140
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,942
I'm Dick Turpin, and you robbed my gang,
141
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,070
- and now you're ripping off my act.
- Your act? No, no.
142
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,907
I've got more flair in my trigger finger
than you have in your entire dated outfit.
143
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,075
Red and black, really?
144
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,327
What is this, huh? 1733?
145
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,662
[patrons chuckle]
146
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,582
This is a timeless classic.
147
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,792
And Hempstead is my patch.
148
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,960
And if you want it,
149
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,631
you're gonna have to plow through me
like a hot knife through Battenberg.
150
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,049
- [snaps]
- Very well.
151
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,385
I challenge you to a duel.
152
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,553
[patrons gasping]
153
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,680
Not really into guns. Bit of a pacifist.
154
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,559
What about a food-sculpting competition, hmm?
155
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:59,104
- Best vegetable person wins.
- What, like this?
156
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,564
[patrons gasping]
157
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,859
Wow. Wow.
Look at those green bean eyebrows.
158
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,277
[gasps] So detailed.
159
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,820
What about a knit-off?
160
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,447
Most snuggly cardie gets the gang?
161
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,698
Like this one?
162
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,535
[gasps]
My God. Look at the garter stitching.
163
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,038
It's world-class.
164
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,331
- [kisses]
- It is world-class.
165
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,292
[inhales deeply]
Okay. You want the big guns.
166
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,337
What about a hair-blowing-in-the-wind-off?
167
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,756
Moose, get the unusually large fan.
168
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:31,470
Yeah. Yes, indeed. Whoo!
169
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,679
Like this?
170
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,275
I want his conditioner.
171
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,986
And I want to apply it to his head.
172
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,738
[Dick] All right. A duel it is.
173
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:54,326
But if I win, you leave Hempstead
and stop stealing my moves.
174
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:59,873
And if I win,
you leave Hempstead and I get your gang.
175
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,793
Tomorrow, two o'clock.
176
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,211
Lord Rookwood's estate?
177
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,839
And here's tomorrow's pamphlet headline:
178
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,926
"Dick Dies in Deadly Altercation."
179
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,846
[groans] Shouldn't it be
"Dick Dies in Deadly Duel"?
180
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,389
[Tommy] I love that. Yes!
181
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,682
You must be the writer.
182
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,683
[chuckles] I am.
183
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,226
What's happening here?
184
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,311
[inhales sharply] And now, away!
185
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,236
It's an absolute nightmare.
186
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,529
Dick, wait.
187
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,865
I'm gonna teach you what I should have
taught you a long time ago.
188
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,408
Conversational Spanish?
189
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,492
[gunshot]
190
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,161
Okay. Your turn.
191
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,539
Aim and shoot the target.
192
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,332
I mean, don't call him "target."
He's got a name.
193
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,417
No, he doesn't.
194
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,461
He is a dummy who exists
only to be shot in his straw head.
195
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,880
Actually, he's called Giuseppe.
196
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,797
His dad's Italian.
197
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,383
He's got two kids,
a whippet and a lovely straw wife.
198
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,218
What do you think his favorite food is?
199
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,261
I don't know.
200
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,722
- Pasta? [stammers]
- What? 'Cause he's Italian?
201
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,723
That's a bit racist.
202
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,057
- Oh.
- Actually, he's off solids.
203
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,018
[sucks teeth] He's on a diet
of coffee and limoncello.
204
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,603
He's out of his mind most of the time.
205
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,396
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Okay.
206
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,315
- Uh, can you just shoot him, please?
- I can't shoot him.
207
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,482
I've gotten to know him now.
208
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,109
Taking me out on his gondola
next Thursday.
209
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,321
Yeah, there won't be a next Thursday
if Tommy shoots your face off.
210
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,115
[sighs] Look, Nell, I appreciate
what you're trying to do for me.
211
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,576
But, you know,
I'm not a violent psychopath like you.
212
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869
- Thank you.
- Besides,
213
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,621
I've given my tiny gun
to Craig the Warlock.
214
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,414
He's gonna enchant it.
Make sure I never miss.
215
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:25,584
- [gunfire]
- [whimpering]
216
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,089
Well, if that doesn't work,
I'll just do what I always do.
217
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,883
Come up with a flamboyant plan.
218
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,176
A plan with panache.
219
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,637
Eh, Tommy's got panache.
He out-panached you.
220
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,431
He didn't out-panache me.
I mean, at best, he matched my panache.
221
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:43,769
No, he smashed your panache
into tiny, little "panacheo" pieces.
222
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,812
Now, please can you
take this seriously and shoot?
223
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,440
I know what you're doing.
I can see what's happening here.
224
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,025
You care about me a little bit, don't you?
225
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,443
- Just a little bit.
- [groans]
226
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,321
- 'Cause we're proper mates.
- Okay, fine. We're proper mates.
227
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,282
Now, please can you try
and be a proper highwayman
228
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,537
and shoot Tommy in his perfect,
luscious, sexy little head
229
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:04,289
that maybe one day I'd like to kiss
if you don't shoot it first?
230
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,167
Okay, seeing as we're proper mates,
I'll shoot him in the torso.
231
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,004
[grunting]
232
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:11,922
[Nell] No, Dick!
233
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,507
Nell, can you stop doing
that ridiculous voice?
234
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,259
I'm trying to concentrate.
235
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,677
Oh, we're being kidnapped. Got it.
236
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,727
[exhaling sharply]
237
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:30,732
[Moose whispers] There he is.
238
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,985
- Okay. Are you sure about this?
- [exhaling sharply]
239
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,279
Trust me. Nell's helping Dick win.
240
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,281
We're gonna help Tommy lose.
241
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,991
Yeah, but Tommy's never lost a duel.
242
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,326
I know that because he's not dead. Yeah.
243
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,036
Three words, my friend.
244
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,289
Sabotage.
245
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,206
Come on.
246
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,086
- Tommy. [screams]
- [grunts]
247
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,840
Let him go! He can't breathe,
and Moose loves breathing!
248
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,633
- Apologies.
- [gasps, wheezes]
249
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,759
- [pants]
- [chuckles]
250
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,678
It's my, uh, Krav Maga training.
251
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,139
- [Moose wheezes]
- Sometimes I struggle to keep it in check.
252
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:07,394
[chuckles] Listen, if you chaps are here
to ask me to call off the duel,
253
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,938
I'm afraid that's a no-go for the T-Man.
254
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,316
Actually, we want you to win.
255
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,193
Yeah. That's why we came here
to take you out.
256
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,153
- I knew it!
- [gasps, stammers] To the pub.
257
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,613
To take you to the pub.
258
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,698
[stammers] Not to kill you.
Why would we wanna kill you?
259
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,159
We wanna get to know you, you know?
260
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,077
Chances are,
you're gonna be our new leader.
261
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,581
I see your game.
262
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:35,881
Yeah. You boys are trying to get me
absolutely bladdered so I miss the duel.
263
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,007
Hmm?
264
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:37,966
- Uh...
- [whimpers]
265
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:41,345
- [chuckles] I'm joshing, chaps.
- [chuckles]
266
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,722
The T-Bone never turns down a pint, right?
267
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,848
You know. Come on.
268
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,642
- [chuckles]
- [Tommy] Yeah!
269
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,894
- Whoa!
- Careful.
270
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:49,811
What?
271
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,648
Okay. First, I'm gonna pump out,
like, 20 more pushies.
272
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,486
- [grunts] One...
- [groaning] We'll give you a moment.
273
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,489
No, no. You'll stay. I like to be watched.
274
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,493
One. Two-- Eyes on me.
275
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,537
Look how easy I'm doing it.
276
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:08,372
[gasps]
277
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,165
Where am I?
278
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,750
Where's Nell?
279
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,628
Oh, I wouldn't worry
about your little friend.
280
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,672
She's right at home here.
281
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:21,343
So, Dick Turpin.
282
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,596
We meet again.
283
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:26,557
Have we met before?
284
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,437
No, I don't suppose we have. [laughs]
285
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:37,568
My name is Lady Helen Gwinear,
leader of the Syndicate.
286
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:39,820
I've heard of you. You're the big boss.
287
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,156
Yes, yes. I suppose I am the big boss.
288
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,993
And you stole my gold.
289
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,119
Yeah. Sorry about that.
290
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,496
I'd give it back to you,
but I sort of lost it immediately.
291
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,207
[chuckles] Gambling on a death match
between two old ladies.
292
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,418
[sucks teeth]
Poor Doris, she went down hard.
293
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,004
Very brittle bones.
They had to sweep her up.
294
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,505
Was a horrible sight.
295
00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,132
Oh, I know.
296
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,093
I've been keeping
a very, very close eye on you.
297
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,638
Yeah. Before you go any further,
can I just say you seem really nice,
298
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,349
but I've just split up
with my last nemesis.
299
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,559
Jonathan Wilde.
300
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,061
Yeah, and I'm not really ready
to commit again.
301
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,063
So, I might fly solo.
302
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,024
Maybe speed date a couple of new enemies.
303
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,275
Just have some fun.
304
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,820
Oh, Dick, I'm flattered,
but that's not why you're here.
305
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,863
Cut the ropes.
306
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,327
- Bring in the other one.
- [Nell] Get off!
307
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,871
Hey, I'm walking already.
You don't have to drag me.
308
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,372
[grunting]
309
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,665
- Nell.
- Dick.
310
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:35,876
Oh, my God.
311
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,172
- Mum?
- Hello, darling.
312
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,383
Yes!
313
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,511
Gentlemen, what will it be, huh?
314
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,847
Might I suggest a fine whiskey?
315
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,307
Yeah. That'll put hairs on your chest.
316
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,434
Yeah, I mean-- Well,
how about something stronger?
317
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,561
Uh, medical-grade alcohol, yeah?
318
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,272
That'll put hairs on your hairs.
[chuckles]
319
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,775
Okay, big guy.
How about something stronger still?
320
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:00,984
Pure ethanol.
321
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,819
That'll just kill you.
322
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:06,240
Guys, all these things sound horrible.
C-Can we just have a beer?
323
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,616
How about this?
324
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,994
South American Scorpion Rum.
325
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,580
Well, at least that's what I think it is.
326
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,626
There's no label on the bottle because
the brewers who made it went blind.
327
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,504
Perfect. [chuckles]
328
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,840
[whispers] Thanks, Little Karen.
329
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,091
Enjoy.
330
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,426
- To Tommy.
- To Tommy. [chuckles]
331
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:30,222
I am gonna lead you guys so good.
332
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,144
- [sucks teeth]
- [wheezing, muttering]
333
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,480
- Hmm?
- [coughing]
334
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,731
[wheezing] Really good.
335
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,567
I thought you said this was strong. Mmm.
336
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,110
- [wheezing] But it is!
- Okay.
337
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,194
- [snorting]
- Again!
338
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,949
[Helen] Are you sure
you're eating enough fruit, darling?
339
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,409
You're awfully pale.
340
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,078
Yes, because somebody kidnapped me.
341
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,372
God, why do you always
have to do this, Mum?
342
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,833
Well, how else would I see you?
You never visit.
343
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,627
Still can't believe this is your mum.
344
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,462
Yeah, okay. Go on, say it.
345
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,549
"Your mum's head of the Syndicate.
She's such a big deal.
346
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,217
You're never gonna live up to her."
347
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:10,179
This is the very reason
I ran away from home.
348
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:11,638
That's not what I'm talking about.
349
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,348
I mean, how is this your mum?
350
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,392
You literally look the same age.
351
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:19,188
[chuckling] Oh, now, Mr. Turpin.
I see what you're doing.
352
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,522
Stop it.
353
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:24,151
Yeah, okay. Sorry. Can you stop
flirting with my mother, please?
354
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,903
She obviously wants to kill you.
355
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:28,780
I do not want to kill him, poppet.
356
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,908
Actually, I'm somewhat of a fan.
357
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,784
- You're only human.
- [chuckles]
358
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,828
Dick Turpin, pamphlet star.
359
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,330
I never miss an issue.
360
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:40,876
But I must say,
that cover art does not do you justice.
361
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,545
That's what I always say.
They never give my hair enough oomph.
362
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,922
Not nearly enough oomph.
363
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,509
Oh, my God. Torture me now.
Please, just torture me now.
364
00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,761
In fact, that's why I brought you here.
365
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,765
Welcome to the Syndicate.
366
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:04,900
Our organization controls almost all
criminal activity in the country.
367
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:08,111
Kidnappers in Cornwall,
burglars in Berkshire
368
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,821
and every estate agent in England.
369
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,242
That makes sense.
I knew those guys were evil.
370
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,576
But that's not all.
371
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,540
We're very proud
of our grassroots crime programs,
372
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,709
nurturing
the next generation of criminals.
373
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,170
So, what's the moral of the story?
374
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,382
Support local businesses.
375
00:17:28,382 --> 00:17:29,967
Aw, so close Edward.
376
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,928
But it's extort. Extort local businesses.
377
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,221
[imitates chopping sound]
378
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,600
Wow. This place is almost
as incredible as you.
379
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,810
Thank you.
380
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,104
My grandfather built it
with his actual bare hands.
381
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:45,148
[stammers, scoffs]
No, that is not true, is it?
382
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,942
He had a team of 40 builders.
383
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:49,403
Yes, but he had to flog them all day,
every day.
384
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,363
Wonderful work ethic.
385
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:54,116
So, what is it exactly
that you want from me?
386
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:57,578
I want you to join us, Dick.
387
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:03,792
Together, we can make you a legend.
388
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,253
Oh, God.
389
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,007
[all laughing]
390
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:13,135
[slurring] One more, Mr. "Sliverslides?"
391
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:17,472
[normal] Sorry, chaps. Your little plan
to get me blotto isn't going to work.
392
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,018
Switched out the hard liquor a while back
for the good old agua.
393
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,353
You knew we were tricking you?
394
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,438
Abort. Abort.
395
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,565
- Abort! Abort!
- [grunts] Wait! Okay. [shushes]
396
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:29,026
Calm down. Calm down. Sit down. Sit down.
397
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,360
We're gonna be gangmates,
398
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,363
and I think that
you are bloody good chaps.
399
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,407
So, what is your story?
400
00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,284
Moose, ever been in love?
401
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,368
Once.
402
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,830
A seamstress from Sidcup.
403
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,751
We courted for a summer
and married in the spring.
404
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:48,420
I was never good enough.
405
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,798
She ran off with a local cheesemonger.
406
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:56,762
Can't smell Brie now without
feeling an overwhelming sense of regret.
407
00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,933
Honesty, what about you?
Any secret passions?
408
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:02,017
I write poems.
409
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:05,145
- [chuckles] You don't.
- Yes, I do. I've got one right here.
410
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,563
Stand up and let us hear it.
411
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,315
- What, now?
- Yes.
412
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,817
Um, o-okay.
413
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,988
"I like writing poems,
414
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,617
but I wonder whether
415
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:23,539
I will ever get any better at them...
416
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,417
- muh."
- Amazing.
417
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,586
- Beautiful.
- Amazing. Thank you so much.
418
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,297
Now, listen. I have to ask.
419
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,593
{\an8}Has Dick ever inquired about any of this?
420
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:41,098
Or is it all just about him?
421
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:45,227
With me in charge,
we'd all be on the pamphlets.
422
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,771
Think about that.
423
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,942
And, uh, no need to get the bill.
424
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,069
I've already paid.
425
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:56,572
Oh. Thanks, Tommy.
426
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:10,627
Wow. Steak.
427
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,213
- I'm actually a--
- Vegan. I know.
428
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,591
It's a pulled mushroom-jackfruit blend.
429
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:19,845
- Probably poisoned.
- Oh. Goodness, sweetheart.
430
00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:21,722
I tried to poison you one time.
431
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,390
It's all you ever go on about.
432
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,933
- Now, to business.
- [scoffs]
433
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:26,310
I want to help you, Dick.
434
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,730
Money, resources, hair care products.
Anything you need.
435
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,232
You've got loads of criminals
working for you. Why do you need him?
436
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,818
- He's rubbish.
- I'm not rubbish.
437
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,653
Actually, I'm quite rubbish. [chuckles]
438
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:40,324
But you're also a celebrity,
which means the silly, little people,
439
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:43,160
bizarrely,
seem to enjoy being robbed by you.
440
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,244
Isn't that something?
441
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,664
Well, I've got an easy charm
that the mums enjoy. [chuckles]
442
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:54,004
So, what if I were to help you
grow your legend far beyond Hempstead?
443
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,548
- What? Colchester?
- Further still.
444
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,091
You're not talking Norwich?
445
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,551
Try the whole world.
446
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,346
By which, of course, I mean Britain
and her colonies. [chuckles]
447
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:04,973
I could make you a star.
448
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:10,145
All you need to do is sign.
449
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:12,147
[sighs] I don't know, Lady Helen.
450
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,817
[sighs] It just all seems a bit... evil?
451
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,654
Of course it's evil. She's evil.
452
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,697
Oh. Don't be so dramatic, darling.
453
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,867
We're all a little bit evil.
That's what makes it fun.
454
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:27,621
Look, I'm flattered,
but... [sighs] ...after all I've seen,
455
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:31,416
I've realized I don't really need
fame or fortune to be happy.
456
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,543
I just need my gang.
457
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,046
And the occasional Thai massage.
458
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,589
- I'm gonna have to pass.
- [sighs]
459
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:40,300
Nell, we've got a duel to win. Let's go.
460
00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:46,557
You're not gonna let us go, are you?
461
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,562
In that case, run.
462
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,438
- [Nell] Yep.
- Absolutely terrible manners.
463
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,527
Tommy? What's all this?
464
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,780
Oh, my God. He works for you.
465
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:03,407
Of course.
466
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,200
He was going to be a gift.
467
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,370
Someone for you to defeat
in a wonderfully exciting duel.
468
00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,832
But seeing as you're too good for that,
I'll be moving onto plan B:
469
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,625
- Tommy wins by default.
- [scoffs]
470
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:17,462
When you fail to attend tomorrow,
you'll be branded a coward.
471
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,842
Tommy will become the pamphlet's hero,
472
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,970
and everything that is yours
will become his.
473
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,055
[chuckles] Aka mine.
474
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,183
Okay, one question.
Are you free Saturday night?
475
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,392
Do you like Italian food?
476
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,644
- Take him away.
- Takeaway is cool.
477
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,646
- What about Ethiopian?
- [sighs]
478
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,357
Tapas? Tiny plates that keep coming.
479
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:40,235
[Nell] Like the gang
will ever let you get away with this.
480
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:43,113
Sarcasm alert, they won't!
481
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,615
Oh, they will, Eleanor.
482
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,910
Because if you don't find
a way to make them,
483
00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:50,329
I'll kill him.
484
00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:54,458
Now, please,
have a bath and put on some makeup.
485
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,793
You look like
you've been sleeping in the woods.
486
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:00,631
You know that's where I sleep.
487
00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:08,764
[prisoners clamoring]
488
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:13,644
[guard] Get in there, you maggot.
489
00:23:13,644 --> 00:23:15,687
- Guys!
- [guard] Shut it.
490
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:18,524
You didn't even tell me
how to order room service.
491
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,109
Minibar?
492
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:30,911
[Nell] Yah!
493
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:36,291
[crowd murmuring]
494
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:39,461
{\an8}[Moose grunts]
I'm starting to get worried. Where's Dick?
495
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,881
He doesn't need this much beauty sleep.
He's beautiful already.
496
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:47,261
[Rookwood] Welcome to Rookwood Towers
for today's exciting duel.
497
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:50,639
Tommy Silversides versus Dick Turpin.
498
00:23:50,639 --> 00:23:53,433
Also known as Future Man!
499
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:55,185
[crowd cheering]
500
00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:58,730
My Lord, I thought we agreed
he probably wasn't from the future.
501
00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,941
But he was a chicken?
502
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:04,194
Yes. According to the pamphlets,
I believe he was a chicken.
503
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,529
A chicken from the future.
504
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:08,115
Well, well, well.
505
00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:11,159
Where is Turpin lurkin'?
506
00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:15,163
Is he Turp-in or Turp-out?
507
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:18,584
- [singers laughing]
- Will Turpin turn up?
508
00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:20,586
[chuckles] I've got loads of these.
509
00:24:20,586 --> 00:24:21,670
[Nell] Wait!
510
00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:27,467
[panting] Everyone, I have news.
511
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:29,344
Dick Turpin is gone.
512
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,096
- [crowd gasping]
- He's dead.
513
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:34,308
No! [cries]
514
00:24:34,308 --> 00:24:36,935
- He's-- He's gone away.
- It's okay, Moose.
515
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:39,021
- He left this letter.
- Oh.
516
00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:42,065
- [grunts, sighs]
-"Dear Nell, Moose and Honesty,
517
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,736
I'm afraid it's not working out
between us.
518
00:24:45,736 --> 00:24:48,030
I want to see other gangs."
519
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,616
Yes, I was hoping
we could read that in private.
520
00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:52,075
Too late. I've started now.
521
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,620
"Moose, you're too clingy."
522
00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,997
[gasps] I knew I should have
given him more space!
523
00:24:56,997 --> 00:25:01,168
"Honesty, I don't know
what you're talking about half the time."
524
00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:03,003
Which half?
525
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:04,254
[shouting] Which half?
526
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:09,843
"And, Nell, you just intimidate me because
you are so brilliant at everything."
527
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:12,554
- Yep. Yeah.
-"Basically, you're all a bit rubbish,
528
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,805
apart from Nell,
529
00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,933
- and not worth dying for."
- [groans]
530
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:18,727
"Also, I hate Hempstead."
531
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:22,189
- [crowd gasping]
-"Goodbye forever. Dick Turpin."
532
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:25,984
I declare Tommy Silversides the winner!
533
00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:28,362
He is Hempstead's new highwayman!
534
00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:30,781
[cheering]
535
00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:37,079
Now, all of you have ten seconds
to get off my land.
536
00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:39,498
- Ten, nine...
- [crowd exclaiming]
537
00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:41,875
Tommy! Oh, thank God.
538
00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:44,920
[breathes shakily] Something isn't right.
Dick would never leave us like--
539
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,173
Cease your incessant blubbering,
you ignorant lump.
540
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:51,844
- What?
- You work for Tommy Silversides now.
541
00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,096
It's Tommy time.
542
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:55,430
- [Rookwood] ...one!
- [gunshot]
543
00:25:57,808 --> 00:26:01,436
[prisoner laughing]