1 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,674 Now, this is a real Dick hot spot. 2 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:14,056 To your right we have some mud that he might've stepped in. Maybe. 3 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:20,103 Over there, we have a tree that, rumor has it, Dick once leant on. 4 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,939 {\an8}I'm sorry, is this it? 5 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:25,192 {\an8}Your brochure promised exclusive Dick access. 6 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,945 Yeah. No, there's loads. I've got loads coming up. Yeah. 7 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,948 The-- I did the trees already, right? 8 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,408 Finally! 9 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,369 It's only the bloody man himself. 10 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,956 - It's Dick Turpin! - Oh, my goodness. 11 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,291 - It's happening! - Oh, my God. 12 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,545 What do you mean, he's not available? 13 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,338 Guys, I thought we had an agreement. 14 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,966 He was supposed to be here, but he's doing a big pamphlet signing. 15 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,552 But we came all this way to be robbed by Dick Turpin. 16 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,138 Not a bunch of-- and I'm sorry, I have to say it-- second-rate nobodies. 17 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,890 Hey. Listen. We're not nobodies, yeah? 18 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,517 - We're the Essex Gang. - Yeah. 19 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,394 We're in all the pamphlets too. 20 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:01,979 - Are we? - Most of the time. 21 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,647 Some of the time. Okay, okay. 22 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,608 One time, we were in a pamphlet. 23 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,444 Oh, Mama, I just hate them. This is so unfair. 24 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,989 - Ow! What the f-- - Well done, darling. 25 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,825 Are you happy? Look at Priscilla's face. 26 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,160 She has been looking forward to being robbed by Dick for weeks. 27 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,621 Yes! This is unacceptable! 28 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,290 No refunds though. All sales are final. 29 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,793 But we were promised a proper highwayman. A celebrity highwayman. 30 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,325 Hope you don't mind me dropping in. 31 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,286 Now this is more like it. 32 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,456 Oi! We robbed those first! 33 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,209 Apologies, 34 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:08,753 but I simply cannot allow such stunning pieces 35 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,382 to remain in the hands of such utterly hopeless highwaymen. 36 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,843 - Bravo. - Very good. 37 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,471 - Jolly good show. - You're too kind. 38 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,306 And before I go... 39 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,022 And for you too, of course. 40 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,071 Oh, no. He's not kissing everyone, is he? 41 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:38,158 Now, while it pains me to depart from such exquisite company... 42 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,826 Me? Really? 43 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:45,040 ...duty calls, and I must bid you au revoir. 44 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,958 That's French. 45 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,252 - He speaks French. See? - Hey! 46 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,671 You can't just steal our loot and kiss everyone. 47 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,464 Who are you? 48 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,424 Let me tell you who I am. 49 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020 Are you doing the whole name? 50 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,438 Yes. One moment. 51 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:09,940 {\an8}Done. 52 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,403 "Timmy Sillyshoes"? 53 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,947 It's Tommy Silversides. Now, listen. 54 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:21,493 You tell Dick Turpin Hempstead is my turf now. 55 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,745 It's Tommy time. 56 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,337 We'll tell him, Tommy! 57 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,841 See you around, I hope. 58 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,594 I mean, I'll be around, but if you're busy, then it's cool. 59 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,262 - It's cool. - What's wrong with you? 60 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,388 I don't know. 61 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,306 Just stop. 62 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:45,309 Now, that's a highwayman. 63 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,378 {\an8}My first ever pamphlet signing. 64 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,880 It's so exciting. 65 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,173 I can't believe all these people came here just for me. 66 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,634 You're a star, Dick. 67 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,053 {\an8}Hey, check out my new signature. Pretty cool, yeah? 68 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,264 {\an8}Yes, it's quite elaborate. How long did that take? 69 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,683 Four hours. But I reckon I could get it down to three. 70 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,684 Great. 71 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,353 Sorry for the holdup, Dick. 72 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:34,483 Since this place was featured in the Reddlehag pamphlet, sales have exploded. 73 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,693 I've even had to hire new staff to keep up. 74 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,779 Hey, you two, back to work! 75 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,449 I'm gonna have to get rid of them. They're useless. 76 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,201 Dad, you came! 77 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:52,084 Never thought I'd say this, but I am actually so, so proud... 78 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,419 of Benny! 79 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,339 He's already slicing and dicing at a grade-five level. 80 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:02,469 The man is a meat magician. He's a poultry prodigy. 81 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,054 - I'm a chop champ. - Yeah. 82 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,557 Chop champ. And are you proud of me in any way? 83 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,270 I don't condone all of this "self-aggrandisizing." 84 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,064 I'm only here to check the advert for the shop. 85 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:18,485 "Eet Meet." 86 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,406 About that, you've spelt both the words wrong and you haven't listed the address. 87 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,490 No. 88 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,076 It's subliminal. 89 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,413 Coming through. Coming through. Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me. 90 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,831 - Pardon me. Excuse me. - Sorry. 91 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,168 Dick, we got trouble. There's a new highwayman in town. 92 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:38,422 He robbed us, and he kissed people, and he carved his name on my coat. 93 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,632 "Donny Superstore"? 94 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:41,675 No. 95 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,262 "Tommy Silversides." He said Hempstead is his turf now. 96 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,222 And that's bad, because this is Hempstead. 97 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,308 - Yeah, and he had fireworks and smoke. - So? 98 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:53,812 And this thick, beautiful, gorgeous, luscious head of hair. 99 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,523 Beautiful, gorgeous, luscious head of hair? 100 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,400 We need to find this guy immediately. 101 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,652 What was he called again? Tammy Pesticides? 102 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,119 I'll tell you what my name is. 103 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:16,335 Who's the dashing desperado That no enemy can outwit? 104 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:20,172 Who's the dandy highway hero In the snazziest outfit? 105 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,174 Does he separate recycling? 106 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:25,761 Oh, you never need to doubt it And of course he gives to charity 107 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:30,182 But he doesn't like to talk about it 108 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,143 Ho! He's Tommy Ho, ho! 109 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,272 Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Silversides Tommy Silversides, everyone! 110 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:41,985 And before the song is over He will change your lives 111 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:45,572 No one's cheeky winks are cheekier No one's sneaky plans are sneakier 112 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,449 Check out his ripped physique 113 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,992 Check out my ripped physique 114 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:55,165 He makes the masses swoon He wrote his own theme tune 115 00:06:55,165 --> 00:07:01,588 Look at him, he's even fixing That front door that he just kicked in 116 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,634 This song is nearly over So to summarize 117 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,345 His name is Tommy, Tommy, Tommy 118 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:14,351 Tommy, Tommy, Tommy Silversides 119 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:18,939 Not so fast. 120 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,942 I'm Dick Turpin, and you robbed my gang, 121 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,070 - and now you're ripping off my act. - Your act? No, no. 122 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,907 I've got more flair in my trigger finger than you have in your entire dated outfit. 123 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,075 Red and black, really? 124 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,327 What is this, huh? 1733? 125 00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:36,582 This is a timeless classic. 126 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,792 And Hempstead is my patch. 127 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,960 And if you want it, 128 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,548 you're gonna have to plow through me like a hot knife through Battenberg. 129 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,049 Very well. 130 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,385 I challenge you to a duel. 131 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,680 Not really into guns. Bit of a pacifist. 132 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,017 What about a food-sculpting competition? 133 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,104 - Best vegetable person wins. - What, like this? 134 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,859 Wow. Look at those green bean eyebrows. 135 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,277 So detailed. 136 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,820 What about a knit-off? 137 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,447 Most snuggly cardie gets the gang? 138 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,698 Like this one? 139 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,535 My God. Look at the garter stitching. 140 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,038 It's world-class. 141 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,331 It is world-class. 142 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,292 Okay. You want the big guns. 143 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,337 What about a hair-blowing-in-the-wind-off? 144 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,756 Moose, get the unusually large fan. 145 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,302 Yeah. Yes, indeed. 146 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,679 Like this? 147 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,275 I want his conditioner. 148 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,986 And I want to apply it to his head. 149 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,738 All right. A duel it is. 150 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:54,326 But if I win, you leave Hempstead and stop stealing my moves. 151 00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:59,873 And if I win, you leave Hempstead and I get your gang. 152 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,793 Tomorrow, two o'clock. 153 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,211 Lord Rookwood's estate? 154 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,839 And here's tomorrow's pamphlet headline: 155 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,926 "Dick Dies in Deadly Altercation." 156 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,846 Shouldn't it be "Dick Dies in Deadly Duel"? 157 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,389 I love that. Yes! 158 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,682 You must be the writer. 159 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,017 - I am. - What's happening here? 160 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,311 And now, away! 161 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,236 It's an absolute nightmare. 162 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,529 Dick, wait. 163 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,865 I'm gonna teach you what I should have taught you a long time ago. 164 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,408 Conversational Spanish? 165 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,161 Okay. Your turn. 166 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,539 Aim and shoot the target. 167 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,332 I mean, don't call him "target." He's got a name. 168 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,417 No, he doesn't. 169 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,461 He is a dummy who exists only to be shot in his straw head. 170 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,880 Actually, he's called Giuseppe. 171 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,797 His dad's Italian. 172 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,383 He's got two kids, a whippet and a lovely straw wife. 173 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,218 What do you think his favorite food is? 174 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,261 I don't know. 175 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,722 - Pasta? - What? 'Cause he's Italian? 176 00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,723 That's a bit racist. 177 00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,641 Actually, he's off solids. 178 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,018 He's on a diet of coffee and limoncello. 179 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,603 He's out of his mind most of the time. 180 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,315 - Okay. Can you just shoot him, please? - I can't shoot him. 181 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,482 I've gotten to know him now. 182 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,109 Taking me out on his gondola next Thursday. 183 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,321 Yeah, there won't be a next Thursday if Tommy shoots your face off. 184 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,115 Look, Nell, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me. 185 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,576 But, you know, I'm not a violent psychopath like you. 186 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869 - Thank you. - Besides, 187 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,621 I've given my tiny gun to Craig the Warlock. 188 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,414 He's gonna enchant it. Make sure I never miss. 189 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,089 Well, if that doesn't work, I'll just do what I always do. 190 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,883 Come up with a flamboyant plan. 191 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,176 A plan with panache. 192 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,637 Tommy's got panache. He out-panached you. 193 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,431 He didn't out-panache me. I mean, at best, he matched my panache. 194 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:43,769 No, he smashed your panache into tiny, little "panacheo" pieces. 195 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,812 Now, please can you take this seriously and shoot? 196 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,440 I know what you're doing. I can see what's happening here. 197 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,025 You care about me a little bit, don't you? 198 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,443 Just a little bit. 199 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,321 - 'Cause we're proper mates. - Okay, fine. We're proper mates. 200 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,282 Now, please can you try and be a proper highwayman 201 00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,537 and shoot Tommy in his perfect, luscious, sexy little head 202 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:04,289 that maybe one day I'd like to kiss if you don't shoot it first? 203 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,167 Okay, seeing as we're proper mates, I'll shoot him in the torso. 204 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:11,922 No, Dick! 205 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,507 Nell, can you stop doing that ridiculous voice? 206 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,716 I'm trying to concentrate. 207 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,677 We're being kidnapped. Got it. 208 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:30,732 There he is. 209 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,985 Okay. Are you sure about this? 210 00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,279 Trust me. Nell's helping Dick win. 211 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,281 We're gonna help Tommy lose. 212 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,991 Yeah, but Tommy's never lost a duel. 213 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,326 I know that because he's not dead. Yeah. 214 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,036 Three words, my friend. 215 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,289 Sabotage. 216 00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,206 Come on. 217 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,502 Tommy. 218 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,840 Let him go! He can't breathe, and Moose loves breathing! 219 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:55,841 Apologies. 220 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,678 It's my Krav Maga training. 221 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,139 Sometimes I struggle to keep it in check. 222 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:07,394 Listen, if you chaps are here to ask me to call off the duel, 223 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,938 I'm afraid that's a no-go for the T-Man. 224 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,316 Actually, we want you to win. 225 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,193 Yeah. That's why we came here to take you out. 226 00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,153 - I knew it! - To the pub. 227 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,613 To take you to the pub. 228 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,698 Not to kill you. Why would we wanna kill you? 229 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,159 We wanna get to know you, you know? 230 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,077 Chances are, you're gonna be our new leader. 231 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,581 I see your game. 232 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:35,881 Yeah. You boys are trying to get me absolutely bladdered so I miss the duel. 233 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:39,968 I'm joshing, chaps. 234 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,722 The T-Bone never turns down a pint, right? 235 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,848 You know. Come on. 236 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:46,642 Yeah! 237 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,811 - Careful. - What? 238 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,648 Okay. First, I'm gonna pump out, like, 20 more pushies. 239 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:57,486 - One... - We'll give you a moment. 240 00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,489 No, no. You'll stay. I like to be watched. 241 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,493 One. Two-- Eyes on me. 242 00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,537 Look how easy I'm doing it. 243 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,165 Where am I? 244 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,750 Where's Nell? 245 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,628 I wouldn't worry about your little friend. 246 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,672 She's right at home here. 247 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:21,343 So, Dick Turpin. 248 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,596 We meet again. 249 00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:26,557 Have we met before? 250 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:31,144 No, I don't suppose we have. 251 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:37,568 My name is Lady Helen Gwinear, leader of the Syndicate. 252 00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:39,820 I've heard of you. You're the big boss. 253 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,156 Yes, yes. I suppose I am the big boss. 254 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,993 And you stole my gold. 255 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,119 Yeah. Sorry about that. 256 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,496 I'd give it back to you, but I sort of lost it immediately. 257 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,207 Gambling on a death match between two old ladies. 258 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,418 Poor Doris, she went down hard. 259 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,004 Very brittle bones. They had to sweep her up. 260 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,505 Was a horrible sight. 261 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,132 I know. 262 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,093 I've been keeping a very, very close eye on you. 263 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,638 Yeah. Before you go any further, can I just say you seem really nice, 264 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,349 but I've just split up with my last nemesis. 265 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,559 Jonathan Wilde. 266 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,061 Yeah, and I'm not really ready to commit again. 267 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,063 So, I might fly solo. 268 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,024 Maybe speed date a couple of new enemies. 269 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,275 Just have some fun. 270 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,820 Oh, Dick, I'm flattered, but that's not why you're here. 271 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:22,863 Cut the ropes. 272 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,327 - Bring in the other one. - Get off! 273 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,871 Hey, I'm walking already. You don't have to drag me. 274 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:33,665 - Nell. - Dick. 275 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:35,876 Oh, my God. 276 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,172 - Mum? - Hello, darling. 277 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,383 Yes! 278 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,511 Gentlemen, what will it be, huh? 279 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,847 Might I suggest a fine whiskey? 280 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,307 Yeah. That'll put hairs on your chest. 281 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,726 Yeah, I mean-- Well, how about something stronger? 282 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,561 Medical-grade alcohol, yeah? 283 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,230 That'll put hairs on your hairs. 284 00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:59,775 Okay, big guy. How about something stronger still? 285 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:00,984 Pure ethanol. 286 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,819 That'll just kill you. 287 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:06,240 Guys, all these things sound horrible. Can we just have a beer? 288 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,616 How about this? 289 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,994 South American Scorpion Rum. 290 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,580 Well, at least that's what I think it is. 291 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,626 There's no label on the bottle because the brewers who made it went blind. 292 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,878 Perfect. 293 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,840 Thanks, Little Karen. 294 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,091 Enjoy. 295 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,509 - To Tommy. - To Tommy. 296 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:30,222 I am gonna lead you guys so good. 297 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:39,731 Really good. 298 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,149 I thought you said this was strong. 299 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,110 - But it is! - Okay. 300 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,194 Again! 301 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,949 Are you sure you're eating enough fruit, darling? 302 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,409 You're awfully pale. 303 00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,078 Yes, because somebody kidnapped me. 304 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,372 God, why do you always have to do this, Mum? 305 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,833 Well, how else would I see you? You never visit. 306 00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,627 Still can't believe this is your mum. 307 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,462 Yeah, okay. Go on, say it. 308 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,549 "Your mum's head of the Syndicate. She's such a big deal. 309 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,217 You're never gonna live up to her." 310 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:10,179 This is the very reason I ran away from home. 311 00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:11,638 That's not what I'm talking about. 312 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,348 I mean, how is this your mum? 313 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,726 You literally look the same age. 314 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:19,188 Now, Mr. Turpin. I see what you're doing. 315 00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,522 Stop it. 316 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:24,151 Yeah, okay. Sorry. Can you stop flirting with my mother, please? 317 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,903 She obviously wants to kill you. 318 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:28,780 I do not want to kill him, poppet. 319 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,908 Actually, I'm somewhat of a fan. 320 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,326 You're only human. 321 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,828 Dick Turpin, pamphlet star. 322 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,330 I never miss an issue. 323 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:40,876 But I must say, that cover art does not do you justice. 324 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,545 That's what I always say. They never give my hair enough oomph. 325 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,922 Not nearly enough oomph. 326 00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:48,509 Oh, my God. Torture me now. Please, just torture me now. 327 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,761 In fact, that's why I brought you here. 328 00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,765 Welcome to the Syndicate. 329 00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:04,900 Our organization controls almost all criminal activity in the country. 330 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:08,111 Kidnappers in Cornwall, burglars in Berkshire 331 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,821 and every estate agent in England. 332 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,242 That makes sense. I knew those guys were evil. 333 00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,576 But that's not all. 334 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,540 We're very proud of our grassroots crime programs, 335 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,709 nurturing the next generation of criminals. 336 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,170 So, what's the moral of the story? 337 00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,382 Support local businesses. 338 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:29,967 So close Edward. 339 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,928 But it's extort. Extort local businesses. 340 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,600 Wow. This place is almost as incredible as you. 341 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,810 Thank you. 342 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,104 My grandfather built it with his actual bare hands. 343 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,148 No, that is not true, is it? 344 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,942 He had a team of 40 builders. 345 00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:49,403 Yes, but he had to flog them all day, every day. 346 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,363 Wonderful work ethic. 347 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:54,116 So, what is it exactly that you want from me? 348 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:57,578 I want you to join us, Dick. 349 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:03,792 Together, we can make you a legend. 350 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,253 Oh, God. 351 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,135 One more, Mr. "Sliverslides?" 352 00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:17,472 Sorry, chaps. Your little plan to get me blotto isn't going to work. 353 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,018 Switched out the hard liquor a while back for the good old agua. 354 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,353 You knew we were tricking you? 355 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,438 Abort. 356 00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,565 - Abort! - Wait! Okay. 357 00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:29,026 Calm down. Sit down. 358 00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,360 We're gonna be gangmates, 359 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,363 and I think that you are bloody good chaps. 360 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,407 So, what is your story? 361 00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,284 Moose, ever been in love? 362 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,368 Once. 363 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,830 A seamstress from Sidcup. 364 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,751 We courted for a summer and married in the spring. 365 00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:48,420 I was never good enough. 366 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,798 She ran off with a local cheesemonger. 367 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:56,762 Can't smell Brie now without feeling an overwhelming sense of regret. 368 00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,933 Honesty, what about you? Any secret passions? 369 00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:02,017 I write poems. 370 00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:05,145 - You don't. - Yes, I do. I've got one right here. 371 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,563 Stand up and let us hear it. 372 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,315 - What, now? - Yes. 373 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:10,817 Okay. 374 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,988 "I like writing poems, 375 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,617 but I wonder whether 376 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:23,539 I will ever get any better at them... 377 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,417 - muh." - Amazing. 378 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,586 - Beautiful. - Amazing. Thank you so much. 379 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,297 Now, listen. I have to ask. 380 00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,593 {\an8}Has Dick ever inquired about any of this? 381 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:41,098 Or is it all just about him? 382 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:45,227 With me in charge, we'd all be on the pamphlets. 383 00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,771 Think about that. 384 00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,942 And no need to get the bill. 385 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,069 I've already paid. 386 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:56,572 Thanks, Tommy. 387 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:10,627 Wow. Steak. 388 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,213 - I'm actually a-- - Vegan. I know. 389 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,591 It's a pulled mushroom-jackfruit blend. 390 00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:19,845 - Probably poisoned. - Goodness, sweetheart. 391 00:20:19,845 --> 00:20:21,722 I tried to poison you one time. 392 00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,390 It's all you ever go on about. 393 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,933 Now, to business. 394 00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:26,310 I want to help you, Dick. 395 00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,730 Money, resources, hair care products. Anything you need. 396 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,232 You've got loads of criminals working for you. Why do you need him? 397 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,818 - He's rubbish. - I'm not rubbish. 398 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,069 Actually, I'm quite rubbish. 399 00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:40,324 But you're also a celebrity, which means the silly, little people, 400 00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:43,160 bizarrely, seem to enjoy being robbed by you. 401 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,244 Isn't that something? 402 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,664 Well, I've got an easy charm that the mums enjoy. 403 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:54,004 So, what if I were to help you grow your legend far beyond Hempstead? 404 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,548 - What? Colchester? - Further still. 405 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,091 You're not talking Norwich? 406 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,551 Try the whole world. 407 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,929 By which, of course, I mean Britain and her colonies. 408 00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:04,973 I could make you a star. 409 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:10,145 All you need to do is sign. 410 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:12,147 I don't know, Lady Helen. 411 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,817 It just all seems a bit... evil? 412 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,654 Of course it's evil. She's evil. 413 00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,697 Don't be so dramatic, darling. 414 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,867 We're all a little bit evil. That's what makes it fun. 415 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:27,621 Look, I'm flattered, but after all I've seen, 416 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:31,416 I've realized I don't really need fame or fortune to be happy. 417 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,543 I just need my gang. 418 00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,046 And the occasional Thai massage. 419 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,589 I'm gonna have to pass. 420 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:40,300 Nell, we've got a duel to win. Let's go. 421 00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:46,557 You're not gonna let us go, are you? 422 00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,562 In that case, run. 423 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,438 - Yep. - Absolutely terrible manners. 424 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,527 Tommy? What's all this? 425 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,780 Oh, my God. He works for you. 426 00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:03,407 Of course. 427 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,200 He was going to be a gift. 428 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,370 Someone for you to defeat in a wonderfully exciting duel. 429 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,832 But seeing as you're too good for that, I'll be moving onto plan B: 430 00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,625 Tommy wins by default. 431 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:17,462 When you fail to attend tomorrow, you'll be branded a coward. 432 00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,842 Tommy will become the pamphlet's hero, 433 00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,970 and everything that is yours will become his. 434 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:27,055 Aka mine. 435 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,183 Okay, one question. Are you free Saturday night? 436 00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,392 Do you like Italian food? 437 00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,644 - Take him away. - Takeaway is cool. 438 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,646 What about Ethiopian? 439 00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,357 Tapas? Tiny plates that keep coming. 440 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:40,235 Like the gang will ever let you get away with this. 441 00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:43,113 Sarcasm alert, they won't! 442 00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,615 They will, Eleanor. 443 00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,910 Because if you don't find a way to make them, 444 00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:50,329 I'll kill him. 445 00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:54,458 Now, please, have a bath and put on some makeup. 446 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,793 You look like you've been sleeping in the woods. 447 00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:00,631 You know that's where I sleep. 448 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:13,644 Get in there, you maggot. 449 00:23:13,644 --> 00:23:15,687 - Guys! - Shut it. 450 00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:18,524 You didn't even tell me how to order room service. 451 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,109 Minibar? 452 00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:39,461 {\an8}I'm starting to get worried. Where's Dick? 453 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,881 He doesn't need this much beauty sleep. He's beautiful already. 454 00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:47,261 Welcome to Rookwood Towers for today's exciting duel. 455 00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:50,639 Tommy Silversides versus Dick Turpin. 456 00:23:50,639 --> 00:23:53,433 Also known as Future Man! 457 00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:58,730 My Lord, I thought we agreed he probably wasn't from the future. 458 00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,941 But he was a chicken? 459 00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:04,194 Yes. According to the pamphlets, I believe he was a chicken. 460 00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,529 A chicken from the future. 461 00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:08,115 Well, well, well. 462 00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:11,159 Where is Turpin lurkin'? 463 00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:15,163 Is he Turp-in or Turp-out? 464 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,584 Will Turpin turn up? 465 00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:20,586 I've got loads of these. 466 00:24:20,586 --> 00:24:21,670 Wait! 467 00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:27,009 Everyone, I have news. 468 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:29,344 Dick Turpin is gone. 469 00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:31,096 He's dead. 470 00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:33,807 No! 471 00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,935 - He's gone away. - It's okay, Moose. 472 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,103 He left this letter. 473 00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:42,065 "Dear Nell, Moose and Honesty, 474 00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,736 I'm afraid it's not working out between us. 475 00:24:45,736 --> 00:24:48,030 I want to see other gangs." 476 00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,616 Yes, I was hoping we could read that in private. 477 00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:52,075 Too late. I've started now. 478 00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,620 "Moose, you're too clingy." 479 00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,997 I knew I should have given him more space! 480 00:24:56,997 --> 00:25:01,168 "Honesty, I don't know what you're talking about half the time." 481 00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:04,254 Which half? 482 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:09,843 "And, Nell, you just intimidate me because you are so brilliant at everything." 483 00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:12,554 - Yep. Yeah. -"Basically, you're all a bit rubbish, 484 00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,805 apart from Nell, 485 00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,933 and not worth dying for." 486 00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:18,727 "Also, I hate Hempstead." 487 00:25:20,312 --> 00:25:22,189 "Goodbye forever. Dick Turpin." 488 00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:25,984 I declare Tommy Silversides the winner! 489 00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:28,362 He is Hempstead's new highwayman! 490 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:37,079 Now, all of you have ten seconds to get off my land. 491 00:25:37,079 --> 00:25:39,498 Ten, nine... 492 00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:41,875 Tommy! Oh, thank God. 493 00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,920 Something isn't right. Dick would never leave us like-- 494 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,173 Cease your incessant blubbering, you ignorant lump. 495 00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:51,844 - What? - You work for Tommy Silversides now. 496 00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,096 It's Tommy time. 497 00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:55,055 ...one!