Downloaded from YTS.BZ
♪ Do you hear me
♪ Right or wrong
♪ I never walked away
♪ You do it every time
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
♪ We are not the same
♪ Love ain't easy
♪ Your make it much harder
♪ Fighting your demons
♪ Still can't fuck with my soul
♪ Take this, take this
♪ Watch your breath
♪ Watch this
♪ Do you feel it
♪ Take this
♪ Watch this
♪ Do you feel me now
Wait, one second.
Okay.
All right, ready?
Mm-hm.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, not, not there.
Oh, oh, okay.
I'm sorry. - Yeah.
Yeah. - Yeah.
How's that? - That's it.
Okay. - Okay.
Okay, good. - Yeah.
Now, uh, grab me here. - What?
My, my breasts, grab them, please.
Oh, yeah, um, like,
like that. - Wait, not, not so fast.
Oh, okay, okay.
Uh, is that better?
Uh, yeah, I guess.
Okay, okay. - Yeah, okay.
What is it?
Are, are you, are you, are you ready?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm just, um.
There's, there's just something up with the condom.
Oh, it's the condom?
Yeah, I'm, I'm not familiar with this brand.
Mm, well, do you wanna take a moment?
'Cause we, we can take a moment.
No, I'm, I'm okay, just, you know.
It doesn't seem like you're okay.
Just gimme a second, okay?
You're kind of losing me right now.
If you just, just calm down.
All this talking is a bit excessive.
Mm.
Okay, yeah, enough.
I'm fairly certain we're done here.
You're a real piece of work.
You can go now.
You are easily one of the nastiest people I've ever met.
That can't be true.
And completely ungrateful.
Ungrateful?
Are you serious? - Yeah.
Yeah, with like, no manners.
Well, thank you, sir,
for the drinks and the random bar food earlier.
How's that?
A quinoa salad is not random bar food.
You offered.
Yeah, well, you said that you don't eat wings.
Do you have Venmo?
'Cause I can pay you back.
Forever will be too soon.
Yeah, nice to meet you too.
Don't slam my door.
Whoa, what, what was that?
It's car backfire, maybe.
It's probably nothing.
Nope, no, no, no, that was definitely gunshots.
Oh, shit.
It's a lot of police.
Maybe you should leave while you still can.
Wait, you sure?
Yeah.
Where'd you park?
You drove.
Right, right.
Okay, well, how are you getting home?
I don't know.
Uber to my bike or, or catch the bar.
Yeah, you should be good.
Uh, back inside, please.
Okay, uh, excuse me, officer.
I actually don't live here, I'm just visiting,
so all I would like to do is just-
Get back inside now.
This neighborhood's on lockdown.
I need you back inside until it's safe.
This sucks.
Yeah, it does.
No, you don't understand.
I have important meetings in the morning.
Uh, I do too.
I mean, I got stuff to do.
Residents stay in your homes.
Fuck.
You okay?
Yeah.
Perfect.
A book right now.
Really?
Wait here.
Where you going?
I gotta use the bathroom.
Well, how long you gonna be?
Just stay put.
Can I get some water?
Just stay put.
"Stay put."
What the fuck?
Oh.
Uh.
Why are you in my room?
What's up with all the balloons?
Are you on drugs?
No.
You stealing shit?
What, no, I promise.
Um.
God, you're pretty.
Oh, um, yeah, no, I was just looking at the artwork.
I swear.
I, I saw the two paintings in the living room and,
and then the one in the hallway,
and then I just kept walking
and, and walk in and walk in, and then I-
Stay in one place.
Absolutely.
Get out.
Go.
Oh, right now.
Okay, yep, yep, yep.
Did you make this?
Sorry, um, I saw your art supplies in your room.
Nope.
We're not doing this.
Doing what?
This, this thing you're doing, the whole biography bit.
You ask me a question and I tell you my life story,
and then you do the same.
No.
We're in extended periods, you know, overtime.
This should have been over.
Well, will you at least tell me your name?
No.
No, no.
Seriously?
No name.
I told you at the bar,
if it was important, you would've remembered.
Yeah, but I, I was hammered.
I'm still hammered.
Okay, and?
So am I.
I bet you don't remember my name.
Look, I'm exhausted and I gotta get some rest.
So, until this is all over, you can lay right here,
or sleep in the chair.
Nah, I'm good.
I'm not too tired.
I'm just gonna grab my backpack.
But you have to lay down.
Why do I have to lay down?
Well, I can't go to sleep and have you up roaming around.
What are you reading?
"Wretched."
Have you read it?
Mm-hm.
Yeah, do you like it?
Yeah, it's cool.
Did you study Franz at Berkeley.
Oh, yo, sorry, um, I didn't mean to pry.
I just saw your CAL sweater at, you know, in your room.
Berkeley, that's, that's really impressive.
I first read 'em in high school.
Geez, what high school did you go to?
What about you?
When did you first read 'em?
Uh, you know, I took a couple Afro studies courses
at Chico State.
Yeah.
And my,
you know, my professor gave me this copy before he died.
That's too bad.
Nah, it's okay.
This is actually has been with me
across five different countries.
That's a lot of traveling for a book.
Well, he was my favorite professor,
and it is a really good book.
What about you?
Do you have anything valuable that you keep with you?
Nope.
Really?
What about all this, like, furniture
and the, you know, the mass and, and the art and stuff.
It's just stuff.
Hey, I'm, I'm sorry for yelling at you.
No problem.
And for calling you ghetto.
Mm, I don't remember you calling me ghetto.
Well, I did, you know, just under my breath.
And I'm sorry.
Okay.
Okay?
Is that it?
What do you want me to say?
I don't know, how about, "I'm sorry, or "I apologize," or.
For what? - Seriously?
Uh, okay.
Well, I'm sorry for being mean.
Yeah, no, forget it, it's not that serious.
Okay.
Lucas.
I'm sorry, really.
Okay.
Uh, thank you.
Thank you, what?
Um, look, I'm, I'm trying, I, I really am.
Okay.
And yes, I made them.
Wow.
That is something.
Thanks.
No, seriously, you have such a strong voice.
And I just finished this one.
Oh, wow, beautiful.
Do you mind if I.
This is so, so melancholy, and, and, uh, morose, right?
It's whatever you say, it's subjective.
Mm.
I'm getting it framed next week.
So, why do you paint?
I don't know.
Makes me happy, I guess.
Art has no judgment or expectation.
The work is the work, you know?
Well, shit, I mean, you hella good.
Like, like really, really, really good.
Thanks.
I mean, I just feel privileged to be here.
Now, you're being funny.
Oh, no, no, I'm being serious.
You're smarter and you're, you're creative,
and, and know, you're just really pretty.
Mm, really pretty.
Yeah. - Mm.
Mm, with one of the, um, nicest necks I've ever seen.
Yes, I remember the compliment.
Oh, yeah.
A neck, like a gazelle.
Mm-hmm.
Funny, you can remember that,
but you can't remember my name.
Um.
Um, I'm not sure if we can, uh.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Okay.
Well, it looks like something.
Are you ready?
Uh, are you ready?
Oh, no, I'm, I'm, I'm definitely ready.
You sure? - Oh, am I sure?
Yes, I am sure.
Very clearly.
Very clearly sure.
Wait, wait, wait.
Tell me your name.
I can't.
Why not?
You should have remembered.
Come on on, now.
No.
Pretty, please.
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, please.
Pretty, please.
Pretty, please, pretty, please.
Asha.
Asha. - Mm-hm.
Asha, that's it. - Yes.
Yeah.
You happy now? - I'm very happy.
Well, just to be clear though,
you, you don't have like a boyfriend or nothing, do you?
What?
No.
No, come on. - Okay, okay.
Ouch.
Shh, quiet.
Okay.
Okay, so, remember earlier
when you asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no.
Yeah, like five minutes ago?
Yeah.
You lied? - I lied.
Except he's not my boyfriend, he's my fiance,
so technically I didn't lie.
A fiance, shit.
And he's at the door.
What?
I know.
You're gonna hide over there.
Okay? - Okay, but I.
But he's big and he hates white people.
Well, you talking about that dude in the picture?
So, you were looking through my stuff?
Yeah, I was just a little bit.
Why'd you lie?
What do you mean why did I lie?
Okay, look, and I'm also not white.
Okay, white looking, white acting, whatever.
Anyway, he's at the door.
No, that guy is fucking big.
Yeah, he played pro ball.
Oh, really, where?
Linebacker for the Saints.
You mean the New York Saints?
Listen, just, just go over there, okay?
And pray.
I'm agnostic.
It's never too late to start, okay?
Hello?
One second.
Hi.
Can I help you? - Evening, ma'am.
Mind if I come in and take a look around?
What's going on out there?
This your place?
When can we leave?
There's an escape felon on the loose.
We're suspecting that he's hiding around
in one of these houses.
So you locked down the whole neighborhood?
Yeah.
He's carjacked some people.
Shotted officers, kidnapped the dog.
Um, this is serious.
Anyone else in here with you?
No.
Seen anything strange?
I thought I heard cops.
Oh, is, uh, is everything okay?
I thought you said you were here alone.
Uh, who are you?
This is, um.
Lucas, Lucas Christian.
Seriously?
Your last name is Christian.
Sir, I'm gonna need you to put on a shirt, please.
Officer, Ma'am, um, I have places to be,
so when can we leave?
You have somewhere to be?
Where?
That's in your business, lady.
Just do your job.
Have a nice night.
Fuck.
You okay?
I knew I shouldn't have done this.
Oh, God.
Asha, what the fuck.
Where you going?
To the back porch.
You coming?
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, definitely, I'm coming.
♪ I never walked away
♪ You do it every time
♪ We are not the same
♪ Love ain't easy
Come on.
Oh, I'm coming.
♪ Fighting your demon
♪ Still can't fuck with my soul
♪ Take this, take this
♪ Watch your breath
♪ Watch this
♪ Get down, sit down
♪ Do you feel it
♪ Take this
♪ Watch this
You know, sometimes,
you like really listen, the freeway sounds like the ocean.
First of all, one, no, I don't sound like a freeway.
And second, don't change the subject.
Having a fiance is a big ass omission.
Hold the judgment, bro.
You're the one going home
with random people from Dragon Gate.
Let that sink in.
Dragon Gate, I could've been a murderer.
Yeah, facts.
Besides, we're pretty much broken up now.
How are y'all broken up if y'all engaged?
He's engaged.
I don't understand.
I broke up with him, and then he proposed.
Wow.
Yeah, fuck move, right?
No, I think it's pretty clever.
I mean, if you try to break up with me, I'll propose too.
Okay.
Anyway, I didn't accept, so it's just a unilateral offer.
Well, did he give you a ring and everything?
Yep, but I'm giving it back.
Yeah, sure, you are.
No, seriously,
I tried to reject it but he forced it on my finger.
How did he force you to take a ring?
In front of our family and friends.
If you say so.
Okay, his grandmother was there.
It was a lot of pressure.
How long you two been together?
Long enough.
Now, you don't seem like you're from Oakland.
I'm from Bakersville. - Yikes.
Have you even been?
God, no.
I passed through a few times.
That was enough.
Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.
So tell me how someone
with a last name like Christian becomes agnostic?
Probably reading too many books.
You know, start questioning everything and everyone.
Your parents fanatics?
Yeah, extremely.
You?
I believe in God,
uh, I'm more faithful than religious, I guess.
I started studying the history of the Bible,
and there are a lot of holes in that story.
Exactly.
But still you can't deny a higher power.
Well, I can make a pretty good argument.
Dude, something or someone
has to be controlling the shit down here.
Trust me, it's not.
So I guess, God didn't, uh, order your steps to Oakland?
Nope, that was Josh.
Josh is your Jesus.
Nah, he was my roommate at Chico State.
He hooked me up with a dispensary gig.
You ever see, um,
anything crazy working at the weed shops?
Nah.
I mean, I saw a lady pass out from hitting a Dab too hard.
That's it, like no robberies or nothing?
Nah, it was pretty chill.
What about you?
What's the craziest thing you've seen in a job?
There was this like one job
that I had right after law school.
Years ago, I used to clerk for a criminal judge in Maryland.
Clerk?
Is that like a secretary?
No, I was a law clerk.
So, what does a law clerk do?
Legal stuff, like I would, uh, write briefs
and do research for the judge.
So, there was this one case,
and I think about it sometimes,
a guy was killed two o'clock in the afternoon
in downtown Baltimore, some type of gang stuff.
Uh, the streets were crowded,
but only one eyewitness came forward,
a little boy, like, eight years old.
A little boy said he saw a guy in a ski mask,
shoot the victim, and then after, pull the mask up and run.
He said he, uh, recognized the defendant
from the neighborhood.
And you believed this boy?
Yeah.
Okay.
But, uh, how close was he?
The boy? - Yeah.
Uh, he was in an apartment building,
right above the shooting, like three stories up.
That's pretty far up.
Yeah, but the little boy was sure,
like he knew this guy for sure.
Plus, I could just tell he did it.
How?
I know this is wrong, but he just looked guilty.
Like, he was the most sinister person I'd ever seen, ever.
He would sneer at the prosecutor and mock the judge.
When the 911 call was played,
the victim's family got really emotional.
But when he saw them crying, he started laughing.
He ever messed with you?
Yeah.
When he was being cross examined by the prosecution,
they had him put on this ski mask and then take it off,
put it on and take it off over and over again.
It was really stressful.
Yeah, I can imagine.
But every time he pulled the mask up,
he grimaced at me.
What, why you?
I don't know.
But, uh, it was my job to take the mask
and put it back into the evidence room.
One day I went to reach for it and he wouldn't let it go.
Shit.
And I went and reached for it again,
and then he yanked me toward him.
The bailiff ran over and he finally let it go.
Well, what happened, were you scared?
No, I mean, I knew he couldn't do anything.
What happened to the case?
He got off.
Serious?
How?
The jury didn't think
that the boy could recognize the defendant
with the mask partially covering his face.
So the mask did its job.
Literally.
But that's not the craziest part.
So, a bunch of months later, I'm at work,
um, and I rushed down to put money in my meter.
And you know how you can just see
and, like, feel someone, like, looking at you?
Well, I look up and who do I see?
Him? - Him.
Whoa.
Did he say anything?
What'd you do?
He smiled.
Walked by.
But then.
But then?
Well.
He lunged at me. - Oh, oh God.
No, I'm kidding, no, he didn't.
He didn't lunge at me, he just smiled and walked by.
But you said, God.
No, I didn't.
Yep, yep, yep, nope,
you literally called out for God.
No, I didn't, you're being ridiculous.
You can't hear me over that freeway.
Come on, dude, let's go in, I'm fucking cold.
♪ Gotta be scared
Hey, can I use the bathroom?
Mm-hm, go ahead.
Okay.
Like a new chair or some shit.
Lucas.
Lucas, can you hear me?
Where are you?
Is everything okay?
I'm getting worried.
Lucas.
Lucas, can you hear me, where are you?
Lucas?
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry about that.
Mm-hm.
You okay?
There's no meat in this place, but you smoke from a vape.
I think you're a good writer.
Why'd you go through my stuff?
Curious.
Mm, happy now?
Can I read some more?
No.
Come on.
I showed you my work and I, I never show anyone my work.
Please?
Okay.
Sure.
Thank you. - Mm, you're welcome.
"Every morning I'm here."
Okay, you don't have to read it out loud.
"At the corner of Turner Lane and Signpost Road,
behind the woods.
It is not really near my home, nor is it on the way to work.
It is not even easy to get to,
but it is the only place I can find her regularly.
God.
If peace could be a thing, a single thing,
then it would be this place.
It seems that everything you wanted to do,
everything you wanted to be,
the hope that makes you think that horrible things
will soon pass are all in fruitful abundance here.
The sense of calm is contagious.
She used to hang out across town, but it got too rough.
A place where feelings don't matter and tears go unnoticed.
The type of place where they will continue
to strike your hands until they tire,
then they will go for your face.
Unless you drop to the ground, then the feet come out.
Your only option is to run
and maybe come back with a group
that is larger and tougher than theirs,
but it is unlikely, impossible even.
They are from here incarnated from the rubble
that covers most of the open land.
You should see it.
Kids playing atop mountains of rocks
and boulders almost as tall as the few remaining buildings
that sprout from the pavement, like gigantic brown weeds.
But more noticeable than the rubble
are the ghosts, the worst being the little ones.
You cannot tell their age, only their height.
They walk around aimless, moaning, looking for their mothers
who have likely passed on or moved on,
fed up and frustrated with the people here and their ways.
These people, they walk around overtaken
"by pain." - Okay, okay, okay.
"Their heads and-" - That's enough.
What are you doing with that?
What do you mean?
I mean, it's good.
Have you sent it to any agents?
No.
Does your girlfriend like it?
That was her, right, on the phone?
Your girlfriend?
I could tell she was important.
You cannot tell that.
Dude, you fucking turned into a ninja to end that call.
So, yes, she is important.
Really, I hope I didn't mess something up for you.
I don't know.
I'll just say that maybe my phone got stolen or something.
So she is your girlfriend?
Ex.
Ah.
Does she know it? - Does she know what?
That you two are no longer together?
Our relationship is in the transitional phase.
Wow, that's original.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, you're one to talk.
No, I'm serious.
I, I mean, I've literally never heard that line before.
So, what's the deal?
I told you, there's no deal.
Hold up.
I spill the beans about my situation,
but you're all quiet on yours?
What do you wanna know?
That we've been together since college,
and I've wanted to break up since college?
That's a long time.
Should just do it.
Oh, yeah?
Wow, this coming from you.
I'm serious.
Like, why haven't you done it?
I mean, you're a guy.
Mm-hm, well, I just haven't found the right time.
What does she do?
She runs a karate studio.
Do you do karate too?
Absolutely, not.
She ever put them hands on you?
What are you talking about?
Like, has she ever like hit you with a karate hand?
I don't know.
Maybe, once.
Really?
Why, how?
Wait, this isn't funny.
I'm not saying that it is.
Then, why are you laughing?
I'm not.
What happened?
I tried to break up with her and she hit me.
Like a punch or a slap?
No, more like a, like a jab.
Where?
In the throat.
How did you respond to that?
Like, what did you do?
Nothing.
Are you serious?
I maintain pacifist views.
Yeah, me too, until someone hits me.
Have you been hit in a relationship?
Yeah.
By your fiance?
He's not my fiance.
And no, not him.
He doesn't care that much.
Yeah, but for one minute,
you thought he was coming in here to fuck me up.
And I was wrong.
How did you and Chuck Norris meet anyway?
She doesn't seem like your type,
with your, you know, nonviolent peacefulness.
Okay, okay.
Um.
I was DJing a set at homecoming, that's where we met.
And then she demanded a song for me,
and then she asked me out.
Which song?
"Holding My Hand."
Hootie & the Blowfish.
I cannot imagine you as a DJ.
Well, I was one for like six years, and I was a dancer.
A dancer? - Mm-hm.
Really?
No, mm-mm.
So a B-boy who likes Hootie & the Blowfish.
No, who said I liked them?
Well, you knew who they were when she requested it.
Yeah, because everybody knows them,
and everybody knows that song.
Nah, I can't see it.
You have a name?
A DJ name? - Mm-hm.
Yeah.
Prof B.
Like, Professor B?
No, like, Profound Bastard.
Like, did you,
that was the, that was the best you could do?
That is a horrible name.
How did you even come up with that?
That's so whack.
Like.
Wait, Wu-Tang Name Generator.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
I can totally see you walking around campus
with like, your headphones on your neck.
Bastard is kind of harsh,
so did you try any other variations of your name?
Yeah, it was either that or Lucky Genius.
Oh, yeah, no.
Lucky Genius is not very B-boy.
But taken literally,
you are more of a lucky genius than a profound bastard.
I mean, you seem super smart.
Oh, okay, but I'm not very lucky.
Did your parents get married?
Yeah.
Well, see, it's hard to see the bastard part.
And you don't seem like someone who's unprincipled
or, like, a scoundrel or something.
Well, what about this?
Really?
So I guess, I'm an unprincipled scoundrel too.
Look, I didn't meet you at church.
Oh, okay.
You got jokes.
I got it, okay.
Mm-hm, yeah.
All right.
All right, so how did you and,
and Mr. Michael Jordan meet?
He's a football player.
So?
You don't know any football players for reference?
Um, Joe Montana.
He needed a tutor for Spanish.
And?
And that's it.
He couldn't resist me.
Yeah, okay. - Mm-hmm.
That's right.
No, he was just really sweet.
And that's all I really need, like, be nice and be about me.
Well then, what happened?
He stopped being nice, and he stopped being about me.
I guess I thought that it would be different
when he got to the league, or at least, like, stay the same.
First year of law school,
we were supposed to go to the Barrister's Ball.
And I got a dress and shoes.
Wait, uh, Barrister's?
Oh, it's like a, a winter formal, but for law students.
Anyway, the NFL season was over,
and he promised that we would go.
So like a, like a, a prom but for lawyers?
Yeah, yeah.
So, so how's it different?
You know, I really don't know,
because I've never been to a prom.
So look, we confirm a pickup time and I rent a limo.
And what does this fool do?
He doesn't show up? - Exactly.
I actually waited on him for two hours.
Well, did you go by yourself?
By myself?
Of course, not.
So lemme get this straight.
You've never been to a prom.
Mm-mm.
Really, why not?
No one ever asked me.
Oh, I find that hard to believe.
It's true.
Okay.
So, but never like, you know, like a homecoming dance,
or like, you know, like a winter formal or like.
No, nothing.
Oh, that's probably why you can't dance.
I can too dance.
No, no, no, you can't dance.
Well, you can't slow dance.
You don't know that.
I mean, if you've never been to a formal dance,
then it's impossible to know how to slow dance.
Oh, stop, stop it.
Come on.
Come on, what?
Well, you, we were gonna be slick here for a while.
I mean, you did me a solid by not sending me out into,
you know, the police stand off,
so I'm gonna teach you how to slow dance.
No.
Asha, may I have this dance?
You are so silly.
My gosh.
We don't even have any music.
Come on, DJ. - I'm coming.
Boom.
No, hell, no.
Music, cool, got it.
I mean, I have been to a dance,
but I know we can't dance today.
I mean, they be this song be killing it.
Okay, yeah. - I'm telling you.
Wow. - See?
It's okay. - That's better.
It's okay. - No, it's better.
Yeah, it'll work.
No. - It'll work.
Oh, wait minute, I have something.
Come on.
♪ I've made a bad habit
Now, prepared to be amazed.
Oh, okay, wait.
Whoa.
Was that it?
No.
You turn off those lights amazingly.
That's it, right? - All right.
It's good. - Yeah.
I'm not gonna ask why you have a strobe.
Yeah, don't.
All right, you ready? - Mm- hmm.
Okay.
Mm-hm, nope.
There. - Okay.
I think there's like a scientist reason
why your hands have to be that way.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Mm-hmm.
I think I got it. - You got it?
Mm-hmm.
So we're gonna do this.
One hand goes there. - Mm-hm.
One hand goes there.
♪ Or should I go and give this up ♪
♪ Tonight
♪ Close the tab call a cab
♪ And head right
♪ I'm tryna to see if your words match your actions ♪
♪ And give satisfaction
♪ Put it in action
♪ Make me feel you in the worse way ♪
♪ I wanna practice all that word play ♪
♪ You sent me texting on Wednesday night ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Is it easier
♪ For me to go and give it up
♪ Or should I go and give this up ♪
♪ Tonight
♪ It's easier
♪ For me to go and give it up
♪ Or should I go and give this up ♪
♪ Tonight
Your arm?
What?
Your arm?
What happened to it?
Oh, uh, nothing, I hurt it while hiking.
Hiking?
Yeah, up Mount Diablo.
Where's that?
You're kidding, right?
Wait, no, no, no, you're from here
and you never noticed a huge mountain behind the hills.
I'm not into hiking.
I don't understand it.
What don't you understand? - The purpose.
Well, it is nice to get away for a few hours.
So, are you burning yourself cooking overnight oats?
Ha, nah, I just, um,
I had a little slip and fall accident.
Ouch.
What happened?
Well, it was supposed
to be a short three-mile hike up the main summit, but.
But what?
Well, I never go off the main trail,
but I really wanted to find the source of this water.
Wait, water?
Yeah, yeah, no, every time I walk past
this one spot near Devil's Pulpit, I hear water.
But you can't see any from the trail,
so, you know, I figure it must be in the valley below.
So you go off the trail?
Mm-hm, I figured I would investigate.
Go off the trail just once.
And the first few feet are pretty level,
and it's pretty easy to find your foot in,
so first few yards down are pretty chill.
And because of spring,
I'm, I'm walking through all this thick, lush foliage,
pine trees, elderberry bushes,
and all these colorful wildflowers.
Like, way more than you would see on the trail.
Sounds pretty. - Yeah.
Yeah.
And the more I walk, the more relaxed I get.
Like, the air is cooler and I can,
I can really hear the water now,
but as I walk a few more feet,
I notice that the terrain changes a little.
I can see the water,
but the hillside is gone with like a,
a 90% grade going down.
So, I turned back to the trail
and everything in my gut is telling me to go back.
I mean, it was as clear as day,
it was as if someone was saying, "Don't go."
So as I'm sitting there contemplating
whether or not I can make it the rest of the way,
like a dumb ass, I, uh, I see something crazy.
A pack of wild turkeys jump out
of a nearby tree, one by one.
Yo, and as these turkeys are jumping outta the tree,
they walk up to the edge
and run down the ravine toward the water.
So now I'm thinking, "Well, that's it, I'm doing this too."
So, I started scaling down the hillside, carefully,
and immediately, I'm nervous.
The ground is slippery and it, it feels almost vertical.
With every step, tiny and medium rocks
tumble hundreds of feet down toward the water.
And as I'm watching these rocks jumping,
skip their way to the bottom,
I, I see the last of the turkeys jumping into the water.
I mean, it was weird.
But then right at the moment, I slip,
and I slide down that hill so fast,
it feels like I'm being pulled,
and I'm hitting all sorts of plants,
and, and bushes on the way down.
I'd try to grab something to hold onto anything,
but I'm falling too fast
and it feels like I'm falling for, like, an hour.
But then just like that,
I hit the bottom.
And for a while I didn't move.
I was a few inches from the water
and I couldn't even turn to see it.
But I could feel it though and smell it,
the coolness and the, and the moisture, and,
and for a while I just, that was it,
the sound of the water, the, the blue sky above me,
and the, the dirt beneath my hands.
And I felt, like, I was a part of it,
the dirt and the earth.
And maybe, just maybe I, I wouldn't make it back up.
But like, maybe, maybe I didn't wanna make it back up,
you know, like, maybe, I mean, it's the weight,
the, the sheer weight of it.
It's a lot, you know?
I mean, would anyone know that, or, or care,
you know, like the, the burden and, and, and the weight.
The weight, the weight, the weight, the weight.
The weight is, it's, it's, it's a lot.
It, it, it's heavy and it's, it's like.
Would anyone care about, about what?
Hey, are you okay?
No, yeah, no, I'm, I'm okay.
I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's, it's, the weed, is all in the,
and then I'm, I got a little involved in the story, um.
And you know, I, I got a little caught up with myself, um.
So that whole experience on the mountain
didn't make you believe in God a little?
Uh.
No.
You're telling me you didn't say a prayer
when you were on that ground?
I mean, I did.
I'd admit that, but it was a force of habit.
So?
So, I knew it wouldn't work and it didn't.
What do you mean?
You're alive.
Okay, but you do believe in fate, right?
Sure.
I mean, there's an order to the universe,
and because of that, things move accordingly,
but not in everything's possible in Jesus, sort of way.
Why?
I don't know.
I've been praying for change recently,
like something, anything, you know.
And tonight's been interesting.
That's all.
Well, I don't know if I can be a part of something
that answers a prayer.
Tell me something then,
why me?
You go to the club with your boys,
and you can have an adulterous one night stand
with anyone in the club, but you choose me.
That, or this here was not part of my plan.
I mean, I, I didn't really wanna go out in the first place.
But when I saw you,
I don't know, this is gonna sound a little corny,
but it felt like there was an energy drawing me towards you.
That does sound corny.
No, I'm serious.
I mean, I, I just wanted to say hi to you,
like maybe that could make my week better,
and your smile looked like you could do that.
And when we started talking, it just felt right.
Like I've always known you.
Why'd you respond?
Didn't seem like you were trying to pick me up.
'Cause I wasn't.
You seemed really eager to listen to me,
which I haven't had in a while.
When you asked me to come back with you,
it didn't feel bad.
I didn't feel bad when I asked.
Even though it was maybe a little bit,
I mean, figuring that we just met.
I felt like I had known you for a while.
Yeah, me too.
Uh, it was probably just the alcohol though.
Although, you're completely not my type,
I'd date you in another life.
Oh, okay.
Well, here I was thinking I had a shot at this lifetime,
but, oh, well.
Yeah, oh, well.
Well, you know what, you are a really sweet person.
Thank you.
And a really great painter.
You're just saying that.
No, no, I'm serious.
I mean, I don't know how you can work a lawyer job,
and complete so many pieces.
My art is what I really enjoy.
Plus, I'm, I'm not really working right now.
Really?
Well, how can you afford such a beautiful spot?
Your, your mom and your pops helping you out?
I'm studying for the bar again, and once I pass,
I'll have a few different job opportunities.
Well, did one of these jobs give you in advance?
Because I'm looking for places to, you know, move out,
but everything is hella expensive.
What's the rent like in the spot?
He pays for it.
Hassan.
He pays for the spot.
Your boyfriend, really?
Yo, where does he live?
In the city.
Really?
He pays for a spot in San Francisco,
but then also pays your rent in Oakland.
Your point?
No, I mean, it's just fascinating.
You know, y'all been together for some years,
why don't you just live together?
He says it's because of his training schedule.
Training?
Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?
You know, I, I really think you should leave this guy now.
At first I felt bad for you,
but now I'm thinking you're stringing him along.
Fuck off.
He clearly wants to marry you.
First, fuck you, really.
Secondly, he doesn't wanna marry me.
He wants to control me and protect his little image.
You sit there all judgy in your flannel shirt
like, you know shit.
You said yourself,
you and your girlfriend have a housing arrangement.
- It must be nice. - I am looking for a place.
I said that things are just expensive right now.
Mm, sounds real convenient for you.
At least, I'm paying something.
So that's the threshold, pay something?
Trust me, she's just a crutch.
It may be financial or emotional or both,
but she is just a crutch.
You said you don't love him, right?
Well, just don't stay for the money.
You're super sweet and you don't deserve that.
You deserve better.
I deserve better?
You can't tell me what I deserve.
You don't know me and you don't know my life.
Hey, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm overstepping my boundaries.
My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever, pays for my place,
so fucking what?
You sit there so afraid of your own shadow,
that you're living a shell of a life.
Your girlfriend whoops your ass and you just take it.
I'm content with my life.
Are you, really?
Because I've listened to you all night
and I can't identify one fucking decision you've made.
You wrote a book, but you're too afraid to send it out.
You plan to enroll in grad school, but nothing yet.
And you've been planning to leave your girlfriend
for five years, but just haven't found the right time.
Lemme tell you something,
it has nothing to do with timing
and everything to do with fear.
I'm fighting to figure out my situation and I will,
while you, you just judge.
I said I'm sorry.
No, you are just like everyone else.
You got it all figured out,
but you're all fucked up at the same time.
You know, I don't always say what I feel,
but you're right about everything.
I mean, I wanna do all of those things,
but I guess, like you said, I'm just a coward.
But you are super sweet and honest,
but you are with a messed up guy and that is not fair.
I feel like someone who is as kind as you
deserves to be full on all the way happy.
Now, me.
That's it, this is my lot in life.
I mean, I'm not complaining or nothing, you know,
all my needs are met and, and I'm happy,
Dude, kill that, "I'm happy bit."
It's okay to want more.
We all gotta grow, right?
You're right.
I guess I'm not sure how to grow.
In fact, I didn't even know I needed to until now.
Just fucking do it.
Like, make a decision and then act on the shit.
Like, who cares if you're wrong, you know?
Insightful.
Thank you for your, your kind words.
I'm good at giving advice, but pretty bad at taking it.
You know, earlier, you said, uh,
you were praying for change.
You know, I'm not praying or nothing,
but I am reciting my affirmations about changing my life
and, and bringing in new energy.
So in other words, you've been praying?
No, no, not praying,
just saying affirmations to no one in particular.
So leave and do what?
Hmm?
You said I should leave, right?
What do you suggest?
You don't like being alone, right?
Well, neither do I.
I don't like to be alone, but I am.
And so are you.
What are you saying?
I'm saying maybe you should leave this guy
and maybe we should.
So, how do you know
if leaving is the right thing or a selfish act?
Do you care about her, like, about her future?
No, not really.
Exactly.
Hassan and I have known each other for a very long time,
and if he got a new girlfriend,
which he's had several since we've been together,
I wouldn't even care.
Like, if he got married to someone else, even better.
Good for him.
But at one point, you thought he was the one, right?
Look, there's nothing here for him.
I mean, even like with this place, I mean, he pays for it,
but there's nothing from him or for him here.
When we first got together, I just wanted his time.
Like, I would go to his dorm room and leave random stuff
just to make sure I would see him again.
But now I don't, I don't care.
Like, like clothes?
Clothes, socks, Bible, whatever.
That's, that's too funny.
I mean, that's what you're supposed to do.
Like, you leave pieces of yourself with people that you love
or people you wanna love.
Hmm.
Yeah, I, I guess.
Just think about it.
I'm sure your girl left hella stuff at your place
when you first met.
I mean, even with your teacher,
like he did that exact thing
when he gave you his copy of the "Wretched."
You guys were close, right?
Uh, yeah, but that was different.
He gave me this book as a gift.
Wait, you really have never left something
at someone's place before?
I mean, maybe trash, but only an accident,
never on purpose.
Strange.
Wait, stop.
Freeze. - What was that?
No, I don't know.
Well, go look.
No, you go look.
Well, what should I do?
I don't know.
You want me to go out there and open up the door?
Yes, yes.
Go, go. - Okay, okay, okay.
You want me to open it?
Open it and see what's going on?
I am, okay, fine.
Oh, my God.
You're free to go now.
That's it?
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Everyone's gone.
Everyone?
Wow.
That is so weird.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
We made it.
Yeah.
We most certainly did.
Weird.
So, uh.
Yeah, no, I, I, I was thinking,
you know, when, when we were dancing, um.
Yeah.
That. - One second.
Oh, sure.
You okay? - Yeah.
Uh, yeah, I, I was thinking too, um.
Yeah.
It seemed like, um.
Yeah, we. - Uh.
I think it might be.
Yeah, I get it, I get it.
Okay.
You know. - I think you should leave.
Yeah, definitely.
No, I got it, got it, don't worry about it.
What took you so long?
It's a big ass hell.
Okay.
I think you left something.
Thank you. - Mm-hm.
You look good. - Thank you.
So do you.
So you gonna show me the spot.
Come on. - Okay.
Come on.
Okay. - You okay?
You know I just gotta... You gonna make it?
Stretch it out.
You told me that you love hiking.