1 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:10,927 ‎NETFLIX 原创剧集 2 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:14,931 ‎老板正在忙… 3 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,351 ‎小老板 4 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,562 ‎老板已加入线上会议 5 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,647 ‎大家都到齐了?请快快坐好 6 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,983 ‎你的牙还没长齐 我在日理万机 7 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,444 ‎洗耳恭听我给大家问候鼓励 8 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,405 ‎-利润 工资 别忘了奶嘴 ‎-我交朋友 9 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,823 ‎我爱你 你被录用了 10 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,576 ‎来吧 朝天空高举果汁盒 11 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,578 ‎小老板 直到退休时刻 12 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,538 ‎-小老板 ‎-告诉他们谁是老大 13 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,790 ‎-小老板 ‎-我就是神话传奇 14 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,750 ‎小老板 15 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,127 ‎-别看我只是小娃娃 ‎-拿张婴儿座椅 16 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,962 ‎这是家族企业 ‎小老板 17 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,342 ‎今天是我的… 18 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:55,138 ‎哦 是啊 19 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,392 ‎哦 是啊 20 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,729 ‎今天是个大日子 对吧? 21 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,814 ‎哦 是啊 22 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:09,819 ‎让我说声生日快乐 ‎这样我就不用参与那个了 23 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,323 ‎哥哥 今天是你的生日 24 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:16,284 ‎哥哥 你的围兜 你的贺卡 25 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:21,331 ‎哥哥 祝你生日快乐 26 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,124 ‎如果我显得不领情 27 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:27,087 ‎说明你们看不到我内心在微笑 ‎明天再说? 28 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,341 ‎吃吧 小寿星 29 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,761 ‎先把蜡烛吹灭 如果你能做到 ‎有什么难的? 30 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,471 ‎太有趣了 快吹 31 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,808 ‎-这是整人蜡烛吗? ‎-什么?还能买到这种东西? 32 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,644 ‎抱歉 我只是没心情 33 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,938 ‎没心情吹完全正常的蜡烛? 34 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,858 ‎太神奇了 35 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:54,197 ‎去死吧 蛊惑的生日巫术! 36 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,034 ‎你为什么在生日这天这么暴躁? ‎就像对时间生气一样 37 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,287 ‎我知道 对不起 ‎那首歌和那段舞蹈都很好 38 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,375 ‎我只是不习惯这样过生日 39 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,419 ‎穿着正装? ‎因为今天是周六 而你没有选择 40 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,879 ‎不 是以婴儿的身份 41 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,634 ‎在我被诬陷挪用公款前的日子里 ‎我的派对精彩绝伦 42 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,346 ‎以前大家都说我的生日像国定假日 ‎但比那还要好 43 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:21,808 ‎-因为银行还在营业 ‎-我表示怀疑 44 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,144 ‎有个人在视频中这么评论 45 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,855 ‎-有视频?找到了! ‎-别找… 46 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,899 ‎“泰迪天普顿生日体验”? 47 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:35,196 ‎几年前 我让助理杰伦 ‎制作了一部生日宣传片 48 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,533 ‎传奇的商业大亨 49 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,494 ‎传奇 大亨 50 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:46,291 ‎好伙伴 挚友 耶 51 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,625 ‎品位高雅 52 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,918 ‎奢华 53 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:53,506 ‎兄弟 为了那套西装 ‎我什么都可以挪用 54 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,091 ‎我很懂挪用公款的 55 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,762 ‎事后看来 很明显布兰德利想诬陷我 56 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,723 ‎美味佳肴 57 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,350 ‎深盘比萨 58 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,352 ‎即兴喜剧表演 59 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,897 ‎都是瞎编的 60 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,150 ‎-特快专递 是… ‎-留言机 61 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,152 ‎没错 留言机 62 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,655 ‎嘿 各位 禁止录像 63 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,366 ‎我不能观看或参与暴力活动! 64 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,119 ‎这比我们那首歌好多了 65 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:29,292 ‎无意冒犯 我满脑子想的都是 ‎如果我不逃亡的话会干什么 66 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,295 ‎你没有逃亡 67 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,632 ‎联邦调查局正在追捕那个 ‎叫泰迪天普顿的成年人 68 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:39,802 ‎小老板则可以随心所欲地 ‎去芝加哥快活一番 69 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,181 ‎你和我想的一样? 70 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,185 ‎如果我们现在出发 ‎你就能赶上最棒的生日夜活动了 71 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,354 ‎现在出发?我们说的是… 72 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,439 ‎-兄弟公路旅行! ‎-兄弟公路旅行! 73 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,691 ‎-我去找音乐 ‎-我去拿零食 74 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,197 ‎我们出发吧 75 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,116 ‎我在“大牛之家”预定了餐位 ‎没留下名字 76 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,368 ‎这是奇迹! 77 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:07,664 ‎提姆天普顿相信生日奇迹 78 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,581 ‎给我钥匙! 79 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,584 ‎不行 我没法开车 80 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,088 ‎你的脚没事 ‎你负责油门和刹车 我负责方向盘 81 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,507 ‎-这是每个宝贝的梦想 ‎-不行 82 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,343 ‎-好主意 但… ‎-要不妈妈带泰迪叔叔去? 83 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,261 ‎-馊主意! ‎-不 84 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,806 ‎-好主意 ‎-谢谢 塔比莎原创主意 85 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:29,477 ‎我爱你叔叔 ‎但让我们独处几个小时? 86 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,272 ‎-我们只会争吵不休 ‎-没错 87 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:36,067 ‎我看你俩已经步调一致了 ‎快出发上路吧! 88 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,656 ‎-你得走… ‎-我开车去过芝加哥 谢谢 89 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,658 ‎芝加哥 90 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,285 ‎“芝城” 91 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:49,539 ‎大草原上的旧巴黎 大块奶酪和焦糖 92 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,542 ‎-湿式三明治之城 ‎-来点音乐如何? 93 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,585 ‎鳄鱼咬了我… 94 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,302 ‎这首不错 95 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:06,347 ‎这是纹身店等候室给妈妈放的音乐 96 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,516 ‎这是公路旅行即兴演奏 97 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,977 ‎这是我的生日混音 非常好听 98 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,478 ‎今天是我的生日 99 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,191 ‎产业! 100 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:23,323 ‎最大价值! 101 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,117 ‎乐队忘记出场了吗? ‎这音乐可真是垃圾 102 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,371 ‎那垃圾是华尔街最顶级的 ‎无伴奏合唱团 “诺兹乐队” 103 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,124 ‎涵盖了亚当史密斯的《国富论》 104 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,001 ‎嘿 播放乐队的歌! 105 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:39,172 ‎不可能 这段时间里 ‎我会尽量让自己不痛苦 106 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,966 ‎你觉得哭会有用吗?我有孩子 107 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,344 ‎他们发脾气时我做填字游戏 尽管来 108 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,476 ‎不要从后座扔东西 ‎你可能会造成一场车祸 109 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,519 ‎我是个优秀的射手 110 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:57,065 ‎-仅次于杰出的射手 ‎-停止说“射手” 111 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,983 ‎-放我的音乐 ‎-那不是音乐 112 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,236 ‎优秀射手高于一流射手 113 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,697 ‎-次于一般射手… ‎-想听音乐? 114 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,408 ‎-人人都能… ‎-我给你放音乐 115 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,118 ‎这不是诺兹乐队… 116 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,748 ‎亚当史密斯 我们永远不离开阿鲁巴 117 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,250 ‎你怎么敢! 118 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,336 ‎睡得香吗? 119 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:23,049 ‎我今天唯一的要求就是不要让自己 ‎觉得像个婴儿 你做了什么? 120 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,677 ‎你为了让我好好坐车给我下药 ‎就像拖马戏团里的犀牛! 121 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,262 ‎你能抬起头吗? 122 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,604 ‎真是大草原上的巴黎啊? ‎那么 小寿星 先去哪? 123 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,525 ‎我说了要深翠绿色 124 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:44,320 ‎这是鲜绿色 ‎如果我需要让色盲帮我挑东西 125 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,155 ‎我就会雇一条狗 126 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:50,409 ‎米尔顿利弗里是萨维尔街最好的裁缝 127 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,537 ‎每年生日我都会从他那买一套西装 128 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,623 ‎你的派对 你的小丑 ‎我只是来推婴儿车的 129 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,042 ‎准备好看看真正的天才工作吧 130 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,962 ‎米尔顿知道如何 ‎打扮一个有想法的男人 131 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,840 ‎我就是一个有想法的男人 132 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,424 ‎你好? 133 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,389 ‎当然 婴儿不会说话 134 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:15,810 ‎如果你想要一套 ‎比其他妈妈买的更可爱的衣服 135 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,729 ‎婴儿服装区在地下室 136 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,691 ‎鞋子专柜在那边 137 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,193 ‎-很高兴见到你 ‎-你要去哪里? 138 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,988 ‎我是来推婴儿车的 如果你不能定… 139 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,156 ‎你帮我定做 140 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,492 ‎定制旅行套装、细条纹 ‎尖顶翻领 你能不能停下? 141 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,828 ‎嘿! 142 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:39,500 ‎你能管好你的小宠物吗? 143 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:46,883 ‎难说 你能做一套细条纹 ‎带尖顶翻领的旅行套装吗? 144 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,217 ‎给婴儿穿的 145 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,097 ‎接受挑战 让小东西躺下 我们开始 146 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,683 ‎他会问问题 147 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,060 ‎注意看我 我们能行 148 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,815 ‎几枚扣子? 149 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,403 ‎两枚? 150 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,115 ‎三枚! 151 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,410 ‎-你想要法兰绒的? ‎-当然… 152 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,788 ‎…不要 153 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:18,998 ‎粗花呢? 154 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,584 ‎就这个吧 155 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,003 ‎裤腿边缘外翻还是内褶? 156 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,172 ‎一边一个 157 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,882 ‎好独特 158 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,843 ‎接下来是鞋子 我的鞋拔子呢? 159 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,888 ‎你刚刚设计了一套推销员西装 160 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,516 ‎-你一直咯咯笑! ‎-太痒了! 161 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,977 ‎听我说 哈里斯花呢 翻边裤 162 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,147 ‎单扣棕色意大利皮鞋 163 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,775 ‎我记不住那些没意义的细节 164 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,693 ‎今天是我的生日 165 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,862 ‎好吧 是什么来着? 166 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,490 ‎哈里斯花呢 单扣鞋? 167 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,784 ‎我在做噩梦吧 168 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,202 ‎找到鞋拔了 169 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,496 ‎够了 170 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:02,625 ‎我是个定制工匠 不是做抹布的! 171 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,336 ‎拜托了 利弗里先生 172 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:08,256 ‎我知道他想要什么样的 ‎还有他的鞋号 173 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,966 ‎今天是他的生日 174 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,720 ‎好吧 这套西装要九千块 预先付款 175 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,724 ‎酷 五块钱能买到什么? 176 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,690 ‎-这看起来不错 ‎-当然 你就是个乡巴佬 177 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,859 ‎-我会还你钱的 ‎-怎么还?你是个婴儿 178 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,571 ‎能不要总是提醒我这一点吗? 179 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,699 ‎你说得对 你的生日 现在去哪儿? 180 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,249 ‎“大牛之家” 181 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,209 ‎夫人 这边请 182 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,545 ‎“夫人” 183 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,840 ‎-冷静点 乡巴佬 ‎-我是达拉斯人! 184 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,678 ‎凯旋阁 我以为订不到这间 185 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,555 ‎这是您的桌子 夫人 186 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,436 ‎谢谢 有专门给这个小家伙 ‎坐的婴儿座位吗? 187 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,857 ‎这里不错啊 188 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,358 ‎那里才不错 189 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:14,530 ‎这是一个偏远地区的牢房 ‎位于“厨房街” 190 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,325 ‎“厕所街”和“后门街”的交叉口 191 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,829 ‎食物都一样 别抱怨了 192 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,664 ‎这是歧视婴儿吗? 193 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,627 ‎这就是我说的 卡萝尔 这是隔间政治 194 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,504 ‎因为我长不出胡子也不会玩躲猫猫 195 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:34,383 ‎-所以只能坐垃圾和马桶边的桌子? ‎-我一点也不在乎! 196 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,179 ‎如果有家“在乎银行” ‎而我有一个账户 那余额一定是零 197 00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:40,056 ‎别再废话了 我要饿死了! 198 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,768 ‎这是菜单 ‎请别再对你的孩子大吼大叫了 199 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,061 ‎我大吼大叫了吗? 200 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,772 ‎这里太吵了 我没意识到 201 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,441 ‎好的 我们要些面包 谢谢! 202 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,736 ‎-你什么都别说了 ‎-我在看菜单 跟上 203 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,573 ‎说到这个 我来点 每样两份 三分熟 204 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,202 ‎说得好像我会花60美元买牛排一样 ‎选一个 一起吃 205 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,496 ‎好吧 “丁骨和牛" 206 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:07,541 ‎-果然 他选了最贵的 ‎-我选的是最好的 207 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,087 ‎你也可以吃 我们可是在大城市里 208 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,632 ‎-潇洒点 乡巴佬 ‎-我是达拉斯人! 209 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,135 ‎不过我们那边的人确实喜欢牛排 210 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:25,059 ‎看看 我们在享受时光 211 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,895 ‎享用你的高价牛排吧 小寿星 212 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,106 ‎-婴儿拿刀! ‎-呼叫儿童服务! 213 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,525 ‎在我手上呢 冷静点 别一惊一乍的 214 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,194 ‎享受时光结束 215 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,741 ‎“使我再犯一次罪” 216 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,120 ‎-伙计? ‎-这是莎士比亚名言 乡巴佬 217 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,332 ‎-再叫我一次乡巴佬… ‎-意思是“还想要!” 218 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,126 ‎再给我切一块… 219 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,253 ‎-不! ‎-怎么了? 220 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:56,048 ‎-我那愚蠢的婴儿胃已经饱了 ‎-你在开玩笑吗? 221 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,259 ‎你让我买了最贵的牛排 222 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,595 ‎你觉得我是什么感觉? ‎我甚至还没因为吃肉出汗呢 223 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,227 ‎剩下的归你了 224 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,313 ‎好吧 嘿 服务生 ‎把这个放回烤架上! 225 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,400 ‎-你在干什么? ‎-我喜欢七分熟的 226 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,320 ‎-你不能毁掉这个口感! ‎-这是我的 我要按我的方法吃 227 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,781 ‎放到乡巴佬的垃圾火堆上烤? 228 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,785 ‎达拉斯沃斯堡是美国第四大都市! 229 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,703 ‎乡巴佬 230 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,372 ‎是德克萨斯州的文化与经济重地! 231 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,624 ‎十九个街区艺术区 一个水族馆! 232 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,127 ‎我有硕士学位 蠢婴儿! 233 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,384 ‎慢点!我的腿又粗又短! 234 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:45,681 ‎-你害我们被赶出餐馆 ‎-我不记得我吼过婴儿 235 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,725 ‎你就是这样的人! 236 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,102 ‎固执、自私、在屋里大声吵闹 237 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,271 ‎一切都得依你的想法来 238 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,274 ‎这并不是因为喝了宝贝企业的奶粉 239 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,943 ‎把你缩到了蹒跚学步的婴儿大小 240 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,071 ‎泰迪天普顿 你永远都没有长大 241 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,491 ‎生日快乐 我们要回家了 242 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,744 ‎-给我钥匙 ‎-不 243 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,954 ‎我们得去看我最爱的即兴表演 244 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,832 ‎我为什么要看失业人士表演? 245 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,792 ‎-我有孩子 ‎-我知道我自私 246 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,462 ‎这是我最关心的生日活动 247 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,796 ‎就在那里! 248 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:23,594 ‎不挑剔 不昂贵 只是好玩 拜托 249 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,222 ‎如果不喜欢 ‎我们可以在中场休息时离开 250 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,644 ‎两张“杜兰杜兰戈”门票 251 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,896 ‎禁止外带食品 252 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,650 ‎那些是婴儿食品 为我的宝贝准备的 253 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,026 ‎规定就是规定 254 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,779 ‎我不能因为某些坏妈妈 255 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,908 ‎决定在晚上带孩子来看即兴表演 ‎而改变规定 256 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,576 ‎等一会儿 拜托 257 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:52,081 ‎那是小布 他软硬不吃 ‎别管那些东西 没事的 258 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,708 ‎包括让你维持婴儿形态的魔法果汁? 259 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:58,671 ‎我会在中场休息的时候喝一口 ‎来吧 我需要笑声! 260 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,008 ‎即兴表演? 261 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:06,929 ‎我知道这不符合我的品位 ‎但即兴表演有一种吸引力 262 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,682 ‎无法预知的氛围 冒险行为 263 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,601 ‎陷害我挪用公款的那个人… ‎布兰德利? 264 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,773 ‎那个逼你住我们家的人? 265 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,277 ‎从我的公司偷东西 ‎让联邦政府来抓我 266 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,696 ‎但什么更重要呢 卡萝尔? 267 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,322 ‎-我们得离开 ‎-不 268 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:29,368 ‎他抢走了我的生意 ‎但他不能抢走我的“杜兰杜兰戈” 269 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,581 ‎他正在看我 270 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,374 ‎我觉得他认出我来了 271 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,626 ‎也许是你桌子上有照片 272 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,337 ‎我把你和提姆 ‎从我和女孩的合照里剪掉了 273 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:43,340 ‎他在嘟囔什么 菜单? 274 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:48,220 ‎-他以为我是服务生吗? ‎-他认为每个女人都是服务生 275 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,184 ‎-想和那个混蛋玩玩吗? ‎-什么? 276 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,103 ‎豆子?哦 男孩 277 00:14:56,186 --> 00:15:00,024 ‎没人能认出婴儿的你 ‎让我们找点乐子 278 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,984 ‎现在我们在享受时光 279 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:06,071 ‎我需要那张去美国小镇的地图 女士 280 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:12,453 ‎未知号码 真刺激 ‎我是布兰德利 说话 281 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,288 ‎你好 布兰德利 282 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:15,789 ‎泰迪 你在哪? 283 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,877 ‎玻利维亚 还是津巴布韦? ‎或者用厕纸“装点”你的湖边小屋? 284 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,214 ‎不!我要把它烧了 ‎然后拿保险赔钱! 285 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:26,884 ‎你一定要做罪犯做的事吗? 286 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,844 ‎大家好 美丽的人类们! 287 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,097 ‎我们是你的即兴表演者 ‎“杜兰杜兰戈” 288 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:36,852 ‎记住在即兴表演中 ‎我们从不说“不”而是说“是和…” 289 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:42,107 ‎你的手机怪怪的 兄弟… ‎你在演出现场! 290 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,567 ‎什么?不 我没有 291 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:47,029 ‎兄弟 有回音 你就在这间屋子里 292 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,198 ‎我们爱你 “杜兰杜兰戈”! 293 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,492 ‎听听 到我的桌子旁边来 294 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:57,790 ‎很抱歉我不能邀请老朋友 ‎但我得叫上联邦调查局的人 295 00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:01,585 ‎我就说他在生日这天 ‎不会错过“杜兰杜兰戈”! 296 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,171 ‎-打声招呼 布朗斯探员! ‎-你好 297 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,757 ‎我不在这里 再见 这是个圈套! 298 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,759 ‎我们给你来段即兴表演 299 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,511 ‎没有剧本 没有安排 300 00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:13,347 ‎一切都在现场 再也不让人看见 301 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:17,184 ‎就像外星人绑架一样 ‎但有更多笑声 希望如此 302 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,940 ‎今晚上演了 ‎是布兰德利!别接电话! 303 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,778 ‎你好? 304 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,699 ‎-能给个建议吗… ‎-不是他 305 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,283 ‎…关于如何开场 306 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,286 ‎你在哪 兄弟?别藏了! 307 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,621 ‎十分感谢 308 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:42,876 ‎“杜兰杜兰戈”上演 ‎“你在哪儿 兄弟?别藏了!” 309 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,921 ‎我是来带你去歌剧院的 310 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,424 ‎我迟到了 311 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,302 ‎抱歉打扰了你的美好时光 ‎但联邦调查局正在找你! 312 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,555 ‎他们找的是成人形象的我 313 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,933 ‎最终他们会来到这张桌子 ‎检查我的身份证 314 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,021 ‎-然后发现我姓天普顿! ‎-好吧 我们走 315 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,648 ‎那样会显得更可疑! ‎我们得有个计划! 316 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,694 ‎你在马拉喀什 在摩洛哥 在非洲 317 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:14,366 ‎马拉喀什!小布刚听过这个! 318 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,201 ‎好吧! 319 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,249 ‎我们每次移动一张桌子 320 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,045 ‎我们到他们后面 ‎他们会以为已经查过我们了 321 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,588 ‎这就是我的计划 322 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,717 ‎亲爱的 ‎能用你的海豚鳍把沙拉递给我吗? 323 00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:37,765 ‎我老板会杀了我的 324 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,100 ‎我也爱你! 325 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,608 ‎我觉得成功了! 326 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,902 ‎我们查过那个不负责任的母亲了? 327 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,490 ‎马拉喀什的风吹过城市广场 328 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,116 ‎吹啊 329 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,452 ‎吹啊 330 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,330 ‎吹啊 331 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,498 ‎走! 332 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,838 ‎“守住门 布朗探员” 我讨厌当菜鸟 333 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,925 ‎好吧 我们可以躲在这里 ‎直到他们放弃 334 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,426 ‎哦 不 335 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,682 ‎全体起立 欢迎尊敬的琼斯法官 336 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:25,729 ‎身高1米86 86公斤 来自法官大学 337 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,568 ‎我会在地球音调中被捕 338 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,988 ‎你说中场休息前不需要配方奶的! 339 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:39,034 ‎-这又不是精准科学! ‎-天普顿先生?我是布朗探员 340 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,994 ‎-还有同事 ‎-你好 341 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,747 ‎我不想因为窝藏逃犯而进监狱 342 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,917 ‎就算进去也得是因为有意思的犯罪 ‎比如假扮女王 343 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,335 ‎没人会进监狱 344 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:56,510 ‎当那个歌剧女演员上台的时候 ‎你就用这个搞定她… 345 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,594 ‎墨西哥卷! 346 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,975 ‎带她出去吃墨西哥卷 ‎因为她的职业生涯结束了! 347 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:07,396 ‎我会开个“满嘴豆子”玩笑 ‎但我不是专业的 348 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,398 ‎注意!屋顶通道! 349 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,487 ‎我们荡过去 ‎我先去 然后把绳子送回来 350 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,489 ‎泰迪! 351 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:31,753 ‎他来了 谁来救我? 352 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,966 ‎是我!“后背侦探”! 353 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,179 ‎不会吧! ‎可千万别是“后背侦探”啊! 354 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:45,058 ‎对 你以为你现在就可以离开这里 355 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,604 ‎屋子的出口 卡萝尔 356 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,732 ‎等一下 我知道你是谁 357 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:55,235 ‎一直没给我拿菜单的女士 358 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:58,238 ‎调查一下她为什么那么高傲! 359 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:03,160 ‎这案子又回到了原点 你不觉得吗? 360 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:05,537 ‎“正面侦探”! 361 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,123 ‎是他!“后背与正面侦探”! ‎抓住他! 362 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,208 ‎卡萝尔 快走! 363 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,126 ‎抱歉破坏了你们的原定表演 364 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,504 ‎一如既往 这是场精彩绝伦的 ‎“杜兰杜兰戈”表演 365 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,757 ‎商业大亨泰迪天普顿 366 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,384 ‎你传奇的生日派对使剧院的灯光 367 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,220 ‎亮了这么多年 368 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:26,767 ‎你一直对即兴表演很忠诚 ‎即兴表演也将永远对你忠诚 369 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:29,478 ‎女士们先生们 这是场真正的盛宴 370 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:33,065 ‎传奇即兴表演创始人索尔梅耶斯 371 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:41,448 ‎中场休息!各位第二场见! 372 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,577 ‎让我们进去 联邦调查局布朗探员 373 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,121 ‎小布 剧院经理 半吊子即兴表演者 374 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,498 ‎从法学院退学 375 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,792 ‎有搜查令你才能进来 376 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,919 ‎或者拿食物代替钱 377 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,754 ‎两者我都没看见 378 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,757 ‎对于自己选择的人生道路 379 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,384 ‎你们如父母一样善良 380 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,636 ‎但我们现在被困住了 怎么办? 381 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:07,474 ‎-我们可以即兴逃出去! ‎-这个想法太蠢了 先生 382 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,018 ‎回头再看菜单 老兄! 383 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:13,855 ‎真正的牛排! 384 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,984 ‎鬣狗们 385 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,819 ‎不 艺术家们 386 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:23,573 ‎“杜兰杜兰戈”尽情表演 ‎接下来交给我们 387 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,660 ‎谁准备好看即兴表演了? 388 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:29,579 ‎他在哪? 389 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,624 ‎服务员 ‎你有没有看到一个商人在这里? 390 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,001 ‎恐怕没有 甜心 391 00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,969 ‎布兰德利 简直就是个蠢猪! 392 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,345 ‎还有我们的逃脱? 393 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,682 ‎你现在庆幸自己是婴儿了 394 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,310 ‎哦 是啊 395 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,480 ‎抱歉 我去个地方 396 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274 ‎“玛戈拉格邦戈诺斯”! 397 00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:02,195 ‎-我最爱的深盘披萨!你怎么知道? ‎-在你的生日视频里看到了 398 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:06,742 ‎你今天过得很糟 我是一位妈妈 ‎我受不了婴儿撅着嘴的脸 399 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,373 ‎给我留一块 小寿星 400 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:18,462 ‎“这周末浮船于日内瓦湖 401 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:21,506 ‎周一回来吃披萨 加油伊利诺伊!” 402 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,091 ‎我很抱歉 403 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,095 ‎不 拜托 别哭 404 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:30,682 ‎我做不到 我是个婴儿 405 00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:36,229 ‎嘿 来 406 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:41,068 ‎没事的 407 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,266 ‎字幕翻译: 黄博