1 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,474 -Hold all my-- Whoa! 2 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,628 ♪ Grab a high chair This the family business 3 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,968 It's my-- 4 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:55,138 Oh, yeah. 5 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,392 Oh, yeah. 6 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,729 Today's the big day, right? 7 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,814 Oh, yeah. 8 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:09,819 Let me say happy birthday, so I don't have to participate in that. 9 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,124 So good. If I seem unappreciative, 10 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:27,337 it's because you can't see my heart smiling. Talk tomorrow? 11 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,341 Dig in, birthday boy. 12 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,761 Blow out the candle, if you can. Why'd it be hard? 13 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,471 That's crazy. Just blow. 14 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,808 -Is it a trick candle? -What? They make those? 15 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,644 Sorry, I'm just not in the mood. 16 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,938 For completely normal candles? 17 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,108 Isn't it amazing? 18 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:54,197 Die, mesmerizing birthday sorcery! 19 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,034 How are you grumpy on your b-day? That's like being mad at time. 20 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,287 I know, I'm sorry. It was a good song and dance. 21 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,375 I'm just not used to spending birthdays like... this. 22 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,419 In a suit? 'Cause it's Saturday, and you did have options. 23 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,879 No, as a baby. 24 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,634 Back in my pre-framed-for-embezzlement days, my parties were legendary. 25 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:18,346 Everyone used to say my birthday was like a national holiday but better 26 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:21,850 -'cause the banks stayed open. -I doubt everyone said that. 27 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,144 One guy did, in the comments on the video. 28 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,855 -Video? Found it! -Don't search for-- 29 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,899 The Teddy Templeton Birthday Experience? 30 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:35,196 Years ago, I had my assistant, Jaron, put together a birthday sizzle reel. 31 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,533 Legendary business tycoon. 32 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,494 Legend. Tycoon. 33 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:46,291 Good bud. Best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah! 34 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,625 Great style. 35 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,918 Swanky. 36 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,295 Ooh-la-la! 37 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:53,506 Bro, I would embezzle anything for that suit. 38 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,091 And I know embezzling. 39 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,762 In hindsight, it's obvious Bradley was gonna frame me. 40 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,723 Killer food. 41 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,350 Deep dish. 42 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,352 An improv comedy. 43 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,897 It's all made up. 44 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,150 -Special delivery. It's-- -An answering machine. 45 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,277 Right. An answering machine. Beep! 46 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,572 Hey, guy, filming prohibited! 47 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,366 I'm not allowed to watch or participate in violence! 48 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,119 That was so much better than our song. 49 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:29,292 No offense, all I can think about is what I'd be doing if I wasn't on the run. 50 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,295 You're not. 51 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,632 The FBI is after Teddy Templeton, the adult. 52 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:39,802 Boss Baby is free to go live it up in Chicago all he wants. 53 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,181 You deep dishing what I think you're deep dishing? 54 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,185 If we leave now, you'll be there in time for all the best birthday nightlife. 55 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,354 If we leave? Are we talking...? 56 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,439 Brother road trip! 57 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,441 -I'll get the tunes. -I'm on snacks. 58 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,197 Let's hit the road. 59 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,116 I got rezzies at Chez Big Boeuf without dropping a name. 60 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,368 A miracle! 61 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:07,664 If there's one thing Tim Templeton believes in, it's birthday miracles. 62 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,581 Key me! 63 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,584 No, okay, I can't drive. 64 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,046 Your feet work fine. You do gas and brakes, I'll take the wheel. 65 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,507 -It's every baby's dream. -Not happening. 66 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,343 -Nice idea, but-- -Why doesn't Mom take Uncle Teddy? 67 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,261 -Bad idea! -No. 68 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,806 -Great idea. -Thanks. It's a Tabitha original. 69 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:29,477 I love your uncle as much as I have to, but put us alone for hours? 70 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,646 -We'll just fight and argue. -Exactly. 71 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:36,067 Aw, look at you two on the same page. Hit that road! 72 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,656 -You'll wanna take-- -I've driven to Chicago, thanks. 73 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,658 Chicago. 74 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,285 Chi-Town. 75 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:49,539 Old Paris on the Prairie. The Big Cheese and Caramel. 76 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,542 -City of the Wet Sandwich. -How about some music? 77 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,669 Ooh. An alligator just bit-- 78 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,302 This is great. 79 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:06,347 This is the waiting room music at a tattoo parlor for moms. 80 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,516 Now, this is a road trip jam. 81 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,977 It's my birthday mix, and it kicks. 82 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,478 And it's my birthday. 83 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,191 Industry! 84 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:23,323 Greatest value! 85 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,117 Did the band forget to show up? The music is garbage. 86 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,371 That garbage is Wall Street's top a capella group, the T-Notes, 87 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,582 covering Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations. 88 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,001 -Hey, put the T's back on! 89 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:39,172 No chance. I'm getting through this as painlessly as possible. 90 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,966 -You think crying will work? I have kids. 91 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,344 I do crosswords during tantrums. Come at me. 92 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,476 Never launch anything from the back. You could've caused a wreck. 93 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,478 I'm an excellent marksman, 94 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:57,065 -just below distinguished marksman. -Stop saying "marksman." 95 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,983 -Play my music. -That wasn't music. 96 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,236 Excellent marksman is above first-class marksman 97 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,697 -and above general marksman... -You want music? 98 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,408 -...which anyone can be... -I got your music. 99 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:10,411 -This isn't the T-Notes-- 100 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,456 Let's never leave Aruba, Adam Smith. 101 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,250 How dare you! 102 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,336 Did we have a good nappy-nap? 103 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:23,049 All I asked for today was to not feel like a baby, and what do you do? 104 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,677 You drug me for transport, like a common circus rhino! 105 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,262 Would you look up? 106 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,604 Really is the Paris on the Prairie, huh? So, birthday boy, where to first? 107 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,441 I said viridian. 108 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:44,320 This is kelly. If I wanted someone colorblind to fetch me things, 109 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:45,863 I would've hired a dog. 110 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:50,660 Milton Livree is the best tailor this side of Savile Row. 111 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,537 I buy a suit from him every birthday. 112 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,623 Your party, your clown. I'm just here to push the stroller. 113 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,042 Prepare to see true genius at work. 114 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,962 Milton knows how to dress a man who knows what he wants. 115 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,840 And I am a man who knows what he wants. 116 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,424 Yes? 117 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,509 Uh-- 118 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,389 Of course, the baby can't talk. 119 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:15,810 If you want a cute outfit to out-mommy the other mommies, 120 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,729 the baby department is in the basement. 121 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,691 And the shoe department is over there. 122 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,193 -Great meeting you. -Where you going? 123 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,988 I'm here to push the stroller. If you can't order-- 124 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,156 Order it for me. 125 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,492 Custom travel suit, pinstripes, peak lapels. Will you just stop? 126 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,828 Hey! 127 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:39,500 Are you able to control your stroller pet? 128 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:46,883 Depends. Are you able to make a travel suit with pinstripes and peak lapels? 129 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,051 -For a baby? -Ooh! 130 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,097 Challenge accepted. Lay the thing down, and we'll begin. 131 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,683 He's gonna ask questions. 132 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,060 Pay attention, and we'll be okay. 133 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,815 How many buttons? 134 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,403 Two? 135 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,115 Three! 136 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,410 -And you want this in flannel? -Sure... 137 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,788 ...ly not. 138 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:18,998 Tweed? 139 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,584 That. I think. 140 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,003 Cuffed pants or hemmed? 141 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,172 Uh, one of each. 142 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,882 How unique. 143 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,843 Moving on to footwear. Where's my shoe horn? 144 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,888 You just designed a suit for some salesman. 145 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,516 -You wouldn't quit giggling! -Everything tickles! 146 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,977 Listen to me, Harris Tweed, cuffed pants, 147 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,147 single monk strap, brown Italian leather shoes. 148 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,775 I can't remember those meaningless details. 149 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,693 It's my birthday! 150 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,862 Fine. What was it? 151 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,490 Hairy tweed, monkey strap shoes? 152 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,784 I'm in a nightmare. 153 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,286 Found my shoe horn. Ow! 154 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,496 Enough! 155 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:02,625 I am a bespoke artisan, not some spittle-rag maker! 156 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,336 Please, Mr. Livree, 157 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:08,256 I know his order and I know his shoe size. 158 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,966 It's his birthday. 159 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,720 All right. It'll be 9000 for the suit. Payment up front. 160 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,724 -Cool. What can I get for 5? 161 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,690 -It looks nice. -Of course, you're a hillbilly. 162 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,859 -I would've paid you back. -How? You're a baby. 163 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,571 Can we go five minutes without reminding me of that? 164 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,699 You're right, your birthday. So where to next? 165 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,249 Chez Big Boeuf. 166 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,459 Madame, right this way. 167 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,545 Ooh-la-la. "Madame." 168 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,840 -Play it cool, hillbilly. -I'm from Dallas! 169 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,678 The booth d'triomphe! I didn't think it was available. 170 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,555 Your table, madame. 171 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:03,436 Merci, and do you have a seat for the bundle of joy? 172 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,857 This is nice. 173 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,358 That's nice. 174 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:14,530 This is a backwoods jail cell at the intersection of Kitchen Street, 175 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,325 Bathroom Ave. and Rue de Back Door. 176 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,829 Food's the same, so quit crying. 177 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,664 Is that a baby slur? 178 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,627 This is what I'm talking about, Carol. It's booth politics. 179 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,504 Just 'cause I can't grow a mustache or win at peekaboo, 180 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:34,383 -I get the trash and toilet table? -I couldn't care less! 181 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,179 If there was a care bank and I had an account, it'd be empty, 0.00 cares. 182 00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:39,972 So drop it, I'm starving! 183 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,893 Here are the menus, and please stop yelling at your baby. 184 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,061 Was I yelling? 185 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,772 It's so loud in here, I didn't realize. 186 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,441 Yes, we'd love some bread. Thanks! 187 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,736 -Not another word. -I'm in menu land. Keep up. 188 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,573 Speaking of, I'll order. Two of everything, medium rare. 189 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:01,202 Like I'm paying for $60 steaks. Choose one, we'll share. 190 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,496 Fine. Wagyu T-bone. 191 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:07,541 -Of course, he picks the most expensive. -I picked the best. 192 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,087 This is for you too. We're in the big city. 193 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,632 -Live a little, hillbilly. -I'm from Dallas! 194 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,135 And we do like our steaks. 195 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:25,059 Oh, would you look at that? We're having a moment. 196 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,895 Enjoy your overpriced meat, birthday boy. 197 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,523 -Baby's got a knife! -Call Child Services! 198 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,525 I got it. Chill your uppity butts. 199 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,194 Moment over. 200 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,781 Mm, mm. 201 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,741 "Give me my sin again." 202 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,120 -Dude? -It's Shakespeare, hillbilly. 203 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,332 -Call me hillbilly one more time... -It means, "Me want more!" 204 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,543 -Just cut me off another-- 205 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,253 -No. No, no, no! -What? 206 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:56,048 -My stupid baby belly is already full. -Are you serious? 207 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,259 You made me buy the most expensive steak. 208 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,762 How do you think I feel? I don't even have the meat sweats. 209 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,227 It's all yours. 210 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,313 Fine. Yo, waiter! Need this back on the grill! 211 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,400 -What are you doing? -I like it medium-well. 212 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,320 -You won't taste-murder this! -Mine. I'll eat it my way. 213 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,781 Burnt over a hillbilly trash fire? 214 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,785 Dallas-Fort Worth is the 4th-largest metropolitan region in the U.S.! 215 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,703 Hillbilly. 216 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,372 It's the cultural and economic powerhouse of Texas! 217 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,624 A 19-block arts district and an aquarium! 218 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,127 I have a master's degree, dumb baby! 219 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,384 Slow down! I got stubby legs! 220 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,928 You got us kicked out of a restaurant. 221 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,681 Uh, I don't remember me yelling at a baby. 222 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,725 That is exactly what you are! 223 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,060 Stubborn, selfish, loudest voice in the room, 224 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,271 everything's gotta be done your way. 225 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,274 That didn't come from drinking Baby Corp formula 226 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,943 that shrank you back to toddler size. Mm-mm. 227 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,071 Teddy Templeton never stopped being a baby. 228 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,491 Happy birthday. We're going home. 229 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,744 -Give me the keys. -No. 230 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,954 We have to hit my favorite improv show. 231 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,832 Why would I watch unemployed people play make-believe? 232 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,792 -I have kids. -I've been selfish! 233 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,462 This is the birthday tradition I care about most. 234 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,796 It's right there! 235 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:23,594 It's not fussy. It's not pricey. It's just fun. Please. 236 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,222 If you hate it, we can leave at intermission. 237 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,644 Two tickets for Duran Durango. 238 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,896 No outside food or beverages. 239 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,650 Uh, it's formula. For my baby. 240 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,026 Rules are rules. 241 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,779 I won't change them because some bad mom 242 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,908 decided to bring a baby to an improv show. At night. 243 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,576 One moment, please. 244 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:52,081 Bav. He's a real mood. Leave the stuff, it's fine. 245 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,708 Including the magic juice that keeps you a baby? 246 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:58,671 I'll grab a sip at intermish. Come on, I need laughs! 247 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,008 Improv comedy, huh? 248 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:06,929 It's off-brand for me. But there's something about improv. 249 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,682 The unpredictable vibe. The risk-taking. 250 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,601 The guy who framed me for embezzlement-- Bradley? 251 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,773 The guy who forced you to live at our house? 252 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,277 And stole from my company and sent the federal government after me, 253 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,696 but who's prioritizing, Carol? 254 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,322 -We should go. -No. 255 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:29,368 He took my business, but he's not taking my Duran Durango. 256 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,581 He's looking right at me. 257 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,374 I think he recognizes me! 258 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,626 Maybe from a photo on your desk. 259 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,337 I cut you and Tim out of all my photos of the girls. 260 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:43,340 He's mouthing something. Menu? Menu? 261 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:48,220 -Does he think I'm serving tables? -He thinks every woman's a waitress. 262 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,348 Ugh. 263 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,184 -Wanna mess with that jerk? -What? 264 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,103 Beans? Oh, boy. 265 00:14:56,186 --> 00:15:00,024 Nobody knows you as a baby. Let's have some fun with that. 266 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,984 Now we're having a moment. 267 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:06,071 I need that map to chomp town U.S.A., lady. 268 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,573 -Ooh. 269 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:12,453 Unknown number. Very spicy. You got the Bradley. Speak at me. 270 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,288 Hello, Bradley. 271 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:15,789 Teddy. Where are you? 272 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,877 Bolivia. Or is it Zimbabwe? Or am I TP'ing your lake house? 273 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:24,214 Don't! I was gonna burn that down and collect on the insurance! 274 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,884 Ugh. Are you ever not a criminal? 275 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,886 -Hello, beautiful humans! 276 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:32,097 We are your improv entertainment, Duran Durango. 277 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:36,852 And remember, in improv, we never say no, always "yes and..." 278 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:42,107 Your phone's being weird bro-- Bro! You're here at the show! 279 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,567 What? No, I'm not. 280 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:47,029 Bro, there's an echo. You totes be in the house. 281 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,198 We love you, Duran Durango! 282 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,492 Heard that. Swing by my tabe. 283 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:57,790 Sorry I couldn't invite our old buds, but I had to bring all these FBI guys. 284 00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:01,585 Told you he wouldn't miss Duran Durango on his birthday! 285 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,171 -Say hi, Agent Browns! -Hello. 286 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,757 I'm not here. Bye. It's an ambush! 287 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,511 We'll do improv for you. No scripts, no planning, 288 00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:13,347 everything on the spot, never to be seen again. 289 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:16,642 Like an alien abduction but with more laughs. Hopefully. 290 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,896 They are on tonight. 291 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,524 -It's Bradley! Don't answer it! 292 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,487 Hello? Oh! 293 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,699 -Can we get a suggestion... -Not him. 294 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,283 ...to start our show? 295 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,286 Where are you, bro? Give yourself up! 296 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,621 Thank you so much. 297 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:42,876 Duran Durango presents "Where are you, bro? Give yourself up!" 298 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,921 I'm here to take you to the opera. 299 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,424 I'm late! I'm late! 300 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,302 Sorry to interrupt your good time, but the FBI is looking for you! 301 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,555 They're looking for grown-up me. 302 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,933 Eventually they'll get to this table, check my ID, 303 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,021 -and find out my name ends in Templeton! -Ugh. Fine. Let's go. 304 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,648 That will look more suspicious! We need a plan! 305 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,694 You're in Marrakech. In Morocco. In Africa. 306 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:14,366 Marrakech! Bav just had that one at his fingertips! 307 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,201 Okay! 308 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,249 We move one table at a time. 309 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,045 We get behind them and they'll think they've already ID'd us. 310 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,588 It's what I got. 311 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,425 Honey, will you pass the salad with your dolphin flippers? 312 00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:37,765 My boss is gonna kill me. 313 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,100 I love you too! 314 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,608 I think it worked! 315 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,902 Did we check that irresponsible mother? 316 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,490 The winds of Marrakech sweep through the city square. 317 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,116 Sweep. Sweep. 318 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,452 Sweep. Sweep. 319 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,330 Sweep. Sweep. 320 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,498 Go! 321 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,838 "Guard the door, Agent Brown." I hate being the rookie. 322 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,925 Okay. We can hide here until they give up. 323 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,426 Oh, no. 324 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,682 All rise for honorable Judge Jones. 325 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:25,729 Standing 5'6", 190 pounds, from Judge University. 326 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,568 Ugh. I'll get arrested in earth tones. 327 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,988 You said you didn't need more special formula until intermission! 328 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:39,034 -It's not exact science! -Mr. Templeton? Agent Brown, FBI. 329 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,994 -And associates. -Hello. 330 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,747 I don't wanna go to prison for harboring a fugitive. 331 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,917 I wanna go for something fun. Like impersonating the queen. 332 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,335 No one's going to prison. 333 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:56,510 When that opera lady takes the stand, you take her out with this... 334 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,594 Burrito! 335 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,975 Take her out with this burrito. Because her career's a wrap! 336 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:07,396 I would've made a "full of beans" joke, but I'm not the professional. 337 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,398 Focus! Rooftop exit! 338 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,487 We'll swing across. I'll go first then send it back. 339 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,489 Teddy! 340 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,966 It's me! Detective Backwards Man! 341 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,179 Egad! Not Detective Backwards Man! 342 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:45,058 That's right. You thought you could just leave right now out the door. 343 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,604 The exit of this room, Carol. 344 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,732 Hang on. I know who you are. 345 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:55,235 It's the waitress who never brought me those menus! 346 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:58,238 Investigate why she's so stuck up! 347 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:03,160 The case has come full circle, wouldn't you say, 348 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:05,621 Detective Frontwards Man! 349 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,123 It's him! Back-Front-Man! Get him! 350 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,208 Carol, go! 351 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,126 Sorry for ruining what was, 352 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,504 as always, an incredible Duran Durango show. 353 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,757 Business tycoon Teddy Templeton, 354 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,384 your legendary birthday parties kept the lights on 355 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,220 in this theater for years. 356 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:26,767 You've always been loyal to improv. And improv will always be loyal to you. 357 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:29,478 Ladies and gentlemen, a real treat. 358 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,439 Legendary improv founder Saul Mayes! 359 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:41,448 That's intermission! See you at the second act for more! 360 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,577 Let us in. Agent Brown, FBI. 361 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,121 Bav, house manager, halfway decent improviser, 362 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,498 and law school dropout. 363 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,792 The only way you'll get in is with a warrant 364 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,919 or with food in lieu of being paid. 365 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,754 And I don't see either. 366 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,757 Your hearts are as kind as your parents were 367 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,300 about your chosen life paths. 368 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,636 But now we're all trapped. Any ideas? 369 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:07,474 -We could improv our way out! -That's a dumb idea, Don! 370 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,018 Back with those menus in a sec, hun! 371 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:13,855 Real steak! 372 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,984 Hyenas. 373 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,819 No. Artists. 374 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:23,573 Duran Durango! Go crush that 'prov. We got it from here. 375 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,660 Who's ready for more improv? 376 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:29,579 Where is he? 377 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,624 Waitress! You see a business bro in here? 378 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,001 Afraid not, sugar! 379 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:43,969 And Bradley, what a pig idiot that guy is! 380 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:46,263 But that escape? Woo-hoo! 381 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:48,682 Bet you're glad you're a baby now. 382 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,310 Oh, yeah. 383 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,480 Sorry. One quick stop. 384 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274 Magalagabagagianos! 385 00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:02,195 -My favorite deep dish! How'd you know? -I saw it in your birthday video. 386 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:06,742 You had a rough day. I'm a mom. I'm a sucker for pouty baby faces. 387 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,373 Save me a slice, birthday boy. 388 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:18,462 "Pontooning it up in Lake Geneva this weekend. 389 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:21,506 Back with slices on Monday. Go State!" 390 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,091 Oh, I'm so sorry. 391 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,095 Oh, no, hey, come on, fight the tears. 392 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:30,682 I can't. I'm a baby. 393 00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:36,229 Hey, come on. 394 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:41,068 It's gonna be all right. It's gonna be all right.