1 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:10,927 ‎NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,472 ‎老闆正在忙 3 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,351 ‎寶貝老闆 4 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,562 ‎大老闆線上加入會議 5 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,647 ‎大家都到齊?請依序入席 6 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,983 ‎你牙沒長齊,我在日理萬機 7 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,444 ‎洗耳恭聽我給大家問候鼓勵 8 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,405 ‎-利潤,薪資,奶嘴別忘了 ‎-交到朋友 9 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,823 ‎我愛你,你錄取了 10 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,576 ‎一起來,朝天空高舉果汁盒 11 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,578 ‎寶貝老闆,直到退休時刻 12 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,538 ‎-寶貝老闆 ‎-誰才是老大 13 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,790 ‎-寶貝老闆 ‎-我是傳說神話 14 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,460 ‎-寶貝老闆 ‎-別看我只是小娃娃 15 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,004 ‎-不怕不怕,我就是家大業大 ‎-寶貝老闆 16 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:51,384 ‎現在一個邪惡的保母聯盟 17 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,012 ‎正直接了當地 ‎把目標放在寶寶愛後面 18 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,099 ‎現在我要求的是 ‎我需要的支持,來粉碎此行動 19 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,727 ‎並且領導寶貝企業邁向成功 20 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,147 ‎我懂,真的 21 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,899 ‎但這是公司政策 22 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:10,779 ‎你一連工作太多天了 ‎所以你需要休假 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,533 ‎或是我們人資部門所說的,例假日 24 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:20,038 ‎時髦的簡稱,又一個 ‎社會死亡的階梯橫桿 25 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:20,997 ‎絕對是 26 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:28,088 ‎所以選擇你的例假日 ‎讓我盡快知道,正式提出,好嗎? 27 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:32,592 ‎當然,妳一點幫助都沒 ‎妳可能喜歡放假 28 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:37,180 ‎那當然,我在積我的假 ‎準備來一趟牙買加兒童池旅行 29 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:42,143 ‎在厚厚一層SPF500防曬的影子浴下 ‎從衝浪下倉皇而逃… 30 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,104 ‎等一下,為什麼我就不能積假? 31 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:49,192 ‎你可以,但假期跟基本的例假日不同 32 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:53,196 ‎也別跟事假、病假 ‎腦休、獨處混為一談 33 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,908 ‎人資部簡直就懈怠的同義字 34 00:01:56,991 --> 00:02:01,913 ‎接下來呢?夏季週五休息日? ‎打坐日?在家工作 35 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,959 ‎你聽到寶寶說的,規矩就是規矩 ‎你得放例假日 36 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,087 ‎好,我明天休 37 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,130 ‎(明天) 38 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:11,965 ‎讓我看 39 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,384 ‎讓我看 40 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,264 ‎我不會錯過伊吉第一次剪頭髮 41 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,518 ‎我意思是明天的明天我再放例假日 42 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:24,644 ‎(明天的明天) 43 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,355 ‎嘿 44 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,817 ‎我們給快遞最可愛的東西是什麼? 45 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:36,364 ‎墨鏡,沒什麼比寶寶戴 ‎大人的東西更酷了 46 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,701 ‎我不會錯過 ‎三輪車快遞寶貝的生日派對 47 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,578 ‎明天,我休假,我發誓 48 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,829 ‎(我發誓的明天) 49 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,669 ‎怎樣?要替領結寶寶 ‎十個月照片設定完美的燈光 50 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,298 ‎-我被騙了 ‎-抓到了,好嗎 51 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,259 ‎老天,休一天假吧 52 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:03,600 ‎明天是辦公室必要的清冰箱日 ‎你不會錯過任何事的 53 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,355 ‎我現在超想清理辦公室冰箱 54 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,565 ‎加油,小隊 55 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,401 ‎讓我聽聽一些大膽的新點子讓我用 56 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:16,821 ‎我優越的商業知識反駁跟改進 ‎有人要說說嗎? 57 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,409 ‎你不能以這種狀態來上班,崔佛 58 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,119 ‎提姆哥 59 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:27,123 ‎你們作家都是“居家辦公” ‎也許你有些事業上的挑戰我可以… 60 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,169 ‎不,抱歉,在上午9點到 ‎我做午餐之間的時間 61 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,297 ‎我在堅不可摧的創意繭之內 62 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,593 ‎你在吃麥片而且 ‎邊看線上醫療節目的NG畫面 63 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,512 ‎-阿德,你這愛開玩笑的人 ‎-別戳破我的繭 64 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:46,726 ‎那有線電視的套餐的確吊人胃口 ‎但我提供給你的是 65 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,063 ‎超優惠的一天私人營運訓練 66 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,149 ‎我能相信妳的承諾?瑪琳? 67 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,526 ‎電話行銷剛掛我電話 68 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,695 ‎不,不好笑,崔佛 69 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,077 ‎泰貝莎,感謝老天妳回家了 ‎我太沒生產力了 70 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,163 ‎我很高興你在家 ‎我需要一些生意上的建議 71 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,707 ‎任何事都可以 72 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,252 ‎依薇跟我一直想創立一個滑板車小隊 73 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,797 ‎依薇有了,但電動滑板車超級貴 74 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,675 ‎我得想辦法如何才能買一台 ‎你可以幫我嗎? 75 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,761 ‎課程已經開始了 ‎妳上樓遲到了,太好了,事業 76 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,722 ‎這就是我們幫妳弄到滑板車的辦法 77 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,517 ‎-用筆蓋? ‎-一堆無價值的塑膠,對嗎? 78 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,144 ‎顯然有價值,否則你不會這麼問 79 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,940 ‎錯,我是說,對,妳太優秀了 80 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:38,236 ‎這個筆蓋是價值的種子 ‎妳的滑板車會從此生長出來 81 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,281 ‎如何?以物易物,簡單吧? 82 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,658 ‎-又來了,如果簡單,你就不…? ‎-不 83 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:48,079 ‎但辛勤的工作以及專業的知識 ‎加上一連串聰明經過計算的交易 84 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,915 ‎我們會能把這筆蓋變成… 85 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,335 ‎抱歉,滑板車網站還在下載 86 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,796 ‎爸比,你在佔用無線網路嗎? 87 00:04:56,879 --> 00:05:00,008 ‎-誰在我矮叢裡放蜥蜴 ‎-沒有 88 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,511 ‎想像如果滑板車下載完成有多酷就好 89 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:08,016 ‎記得這件事 ‎生意的重要部分就是演藝事業 90 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,142 ‎這太棒了 91 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,186 ‎一整個下午我的啟蒙導師 ‎教的生意課程 92 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,939 ‎滑溜快來輪終於要找上路了 93 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,318 ‎-這是我們滑板車小隊的名字 ‎-好難聽 94 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,902 ‎對,我還蠻喜歡的 95 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,989 ‎第一課,找到需要 96 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,907 ‎需要會讓東西有價值 97 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,329 ‎筆蓋可能看似毫無價值 ‎但找到有迫切需求的人 98 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,206 ‎他們的弱點就成為我們的黃金 99 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,170 ‎漫畫家 100 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,882 ‎沒筆畫畫,就沒錢,砰,價值 101 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,134 ‎但她知道,妳看? 102 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,887 ‎所以當然,她不會弄丟筆蓋 103 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:50,224 ‎加油,泰貝莎 ‎妳想要一輩子做牛做馬? 104 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,727 ‎妳方向正確,繼續找 105 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,146 ‎-掙扎的詩人? ‎-鉛筆之人 106 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,397 ‎學步幼童藝術課? 107 00:05:56,481 --> 00:06:00,151 ‎用鼻屎乾畫畫,不需要筆蓋 ‎那麼…? 108 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,527 ‎放風休息區 109 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,238 ‎壓力過大的獸醫、債券交易員 110 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,867 ‎所有迫切需要猜字謎 ‎快速釋放壓力的都來休息 111 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:08,993 ‎他們有自信 112 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,330 ‎他們不會用鉛筆玩猜字謎 ‎他們是原子筆之人 113 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:15,458 ‎但工作呼叫的時候 ‎他們會不假思索地丟下筆蓋 114 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,836 ‎我要說多少次,阿潘? ‎我們在海岸邊賣貝殼 115 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,090 ‎不是買貝殼,賣海灘 ‎這有什麼好搞不清楚的? 116 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,801 ‎如果他們都有同樣需要 ‎我們要跟誰交易? 117 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,594 ‎那就是第二課了 118 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,847 ‎誰最可能對妳有價值? 119 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,684 ‎“查拉拉茲洛,事務所律師” 120 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,522 ‎她的臉在每個公車站都有 ‎而且還有跟她臉一樣大的皮包 121 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,940 ‎我想一定裝滿財寶 122 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,944 ‎瞧瞧妳,交易大師,去找她 123 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,113 ‎長官好 124 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:49,283 ‎戴子?今天不是清閒日 ‎你們不都該清理辦公室冰箱嗎? 125 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,786 ‎出狀況了 126 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,746 ‎你知道笑臉薩米爾? 127 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,582 ‎笑容能夠讓檸檬 ‎變成棒棒糖的百分之五寶寶 128 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,750 ‎什麼問題? 129 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:02,088 ‎我們今天遇到 ‎新不討喜分子,安東尼奧 130 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,341 ‎出現在薩米爾爸爸的咖啡廳拿著一堆 131 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,511 ‎滿意保母的客戶文件並且提出報價 132 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,889 ‎一場活潑撫慰的散步,戶外的閒蕩 133 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,976 ‎我們無懈可擊服務的免費示範 134 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,687 ‎交易很划算,你說“斯“不“斯”? 135 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,814 ‎他們都說“斯” 136 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,234 ‎那些笨蛋替我們執行寶寶愛任務 137 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,070 ‎帶薩米爾出去向大家展現那個笑容? 138 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,573 ‎沒錯,但薩米爾有個問題 139 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,991 ‎他會一直笑 140 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:33,619 ‎是因為在他爸爸的咖啡館 ‎有不斷的刺激 141 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,621 ‎要是帶他到無聊的地方… 142 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,790 ‎今天不准看快活的書 143 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,419 ‎我們要去仔細閱讀 ‎老鎮議會細節的報告 144 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,255 ‎那個笑臉立刻垮下來 ‎變成不滿英國老爺爺的 145 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,549 ‎皺巴巴牛頭犬大頭照 146 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,387 ‎不需要擔心,老闆 147 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:56,684 ‎蒂娜一整個早上已經進行 ‎多重計畫保持薩米爾的笑容 148 00:07:56,767 --> 00:08:00,771 ‎糟糕,第三重計畫要遲到了 ‎好好享受你的例假日 149 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:07,028 ‎-蒂娜,要我怎麼幫…? ‎-冷靜放鬆,你處於例假模式 150 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:11,199 ‎哪間公司不想要員工工作? ‎為什麼太陽要帶太陽眼鏡? 151 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,869 ‎一點道理都沒有 ‎你自己放鬆冷靜,屁彈 152 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,956 ‎怎麼回事?她不願交易嗎? 153 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,126 ‎不,我讓拉茲洛求著我要筆蓋 154 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,670 ‎交易了一瓶旅遊裝的豪華護手霜 155 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,048 ‎然後我以物易物換了個籃球,然後… 156 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,841 ‎-我真是太丟臉了 ‎-為何? 157 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760 ‎-妳做得很棒 ‎-是的 158 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,305 ‎但我開始想到距離電動滑板車 ‎還有多遠,我就沒耐性了 159 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:38,059 ‎然後我非常確定 ‎我交換了價值較差的這些 160 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,521 ‎二手助聽器 ‎就上面的蠟看來才剛用沒多久 161 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,024 ‎嘿,這真的是很棒的交易 162 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,985 ‎抱歉,你說什麼? ‎你可以大聲點跟我說話? 163 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,864 ‎-抱歉 ‎-我很聰明,這件事我應該得心應手 164 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,282 ‎我究竟少了什麼? 165 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,369 ‎-一名對手 ‎-什麼? 166 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,872 ‎孩子,妳跟我一樣,對我們而言 ‎生意就像是接觸運動 167 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,834 ‎不只是贏而已 ‎而是為了贏要打敗競爭對手 168 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,672 ‎妳需要挑戰,妳需要在交易場上搏鬥 169 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,424 ‎妳需要我 170 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,385 ‎一對一以物易物對決? 171 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,471 ‎誰先以物易物換到電動滑板車就贏 172 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,559 ‎-答應我,你不會對我手下留情 ‎-我見過妳競爭 173 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,103 ‎該是妳別對我手下留情吧? 174 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,980 ‎好,讓比賽更有意思些 175 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,441 ‎輸的人要解開地下室那箱 ‎纏得亂七八糟的電線 176 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,734 ‎成交 177 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,862 ‎你知道我為何喜歡砸東西? 178 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:37,326 ‎它回答了人生最迫切的問題 ‎裡面是什麼? 179 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,788 ‎我想知道這東西裡面是什麼 180 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,917 ‎-你想砸? ‎-也許我們可以交換 181 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,546 ‎我想要那袋壓碎的葡萄? 182 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,596 ‎每年此時的白胸鳾? 183 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,265 ‎-在哪裡? ‎-我沒看見,但我聽見了 184 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:03,394 ‎她的聲音繚繞,像是鳥美人魚 ‎那種古老海上魔幻歌聲 185 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,770 ‎我什麼都沒聽見 186 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:12,862 ‎噁心,壓碎的葡萄? ‎誰想要玩噁心又爛爛的東西? 187 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,577 ‎你知道要如何讓腳趾的聲音唱歌? ‎來一點摩擦 188 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:29,670 ‎我多麼想念我巴黎老家的景色與聲音 189 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,718 ‎適合野餐的美好一天吧? 190 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,929 ‎我很樂意拿我毯子跟你們換 ‎你包包裡有什麼? 191 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:45,394 ‎塔莎,這是新款名牌短靴嗎? ‎里卡多杜雪,經典 192 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,774 ‎當然,如果妳有一副閃亮的望遠鏡 ‎妳就可以… 193 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,026 ‎好痛,我是小丑 194 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,736 ‎先等一下,塔莎 195 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,741 ‎啵嚶,再打我,我挑戰你,回彈 196 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,036 ‎-蒂娜,目前…? ‎-冷靜放鬆 197 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,498 ‎-你處於例假模式 ‎-你這自由載入電漿肥球 198 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,043 ‎這些是你冷靜放鬆的態度結果 199 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:12,088 ‎我要改變我們的交易,舒壓阿歪 200 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,799 ‎舒壓阿歪,市場上最好笑的玩具 201 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,634 ‎就在那,妳玩具堆的最上面 202 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:20,805 ‎完美 203 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,023 ‎賓果 204 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,821 ‎好的,O71 205 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,781 ‎-什麼? ‎-她說什麼? 206 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:39,824 ‎妳說大聲點 207 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:43,661 ‎我該在這裡交換助聽器 ‎搞不好已經換到一台車了 208 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,788 ‎-I22 ‎-說大聲點 209 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,998 ‎O72 210 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,835 ‎-妳、你 ‎-越來越熱烈了,各位 211 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,379 ‎不是你,是妳 212 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,882 ‎哈囉,年長的先生女士 213 00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:01,178 ‎我計算過機率,你們 ‎其中一人的卡裡快贏得這場遊戲 214 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,598 ‎但你們選中的幾位 ‎我有特別的東西要跟你們交易 215 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,269 ‎黏黏太妃糖?這是違禁品 216 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:13,232 ‎我女兒說太黏我無法咀嚼 ‎但我就是抗拒不了 217 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:17,319 ‎這是以物易物的交易 ‎一把糖果交易你們手上的賓果卡 218 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,822 ‎你要贏得他們獎項的微薄機會 219 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,575 ‎還是保證滿嘴的黏呼呼幸福? 220 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,035 ‎-太妃糖 ‎-我要糖果 221 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,251 ‎祝妳好運,太妃糖妹妹 222 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,379 ‎我不需要幸運,我有統計數據 223 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,048 ‎-B14 ‎-賓果 224 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:42,511 ‎我們最年輕的優勝者獲得大獎 225 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,096 ‎一張優惠卷 226 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:50,478 ‎這是樹,世界上超過四種樹 227 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,480 ‎我完全不認識 228 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,065 ‎那是另一棵,那又是另一棵 229 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,027 ‎他們又停下來看葉子? 230 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,529 ‎JJ,我們可以看第六重計畫? 231 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:05,618 ‎沒在工作,只是來打招呼 ‎那是什麼?安東尼奧就在那裡 232 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,662 ‎我們何不…?我是說你們…怎樣? 233 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,499 ‎喔,你錯過超多,我補充說明一下 234 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,334 ‎第三重是一鳴驚人 235 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,878 ‎我跳錯了幾步《快樂水手》 236 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,797 ‎但我後來趕上,贏了獎牌 237 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:24,220 ‎然後我找到恐龍蛋 ‎然後它變成真的恐龍 238 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:28,724 ‎我把他取鳴叫史戴格森 ‎並且發誓視如己出 239 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,936 ‎隨著時間過去,我們建立深厚的感情 240 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,647 ‎停,顯然這些都沒發生 241 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,900 ‎是的,都沒有 242 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,278 ‎而且我們不需要對你匯報 ‎你在休例假 243 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,614 ‎別擔心我們,我們沒問題 244 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,616 ‎是的,我在休例假 245 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:49,995 ‎當戴子被個邪惡的保母 ‎當小丑不倒翁打,這也沒事 246 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:54,375 ‎是的,第四重,完全按照計畫的 ‎肢體喜劇讓薩米爾咯咯笑 247 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,751 ‎-戴子? ‎-小丑不倒翁 248 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,089 ‎-我不懂 ‎-這是你的壓力影響 249 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,132 ‎去享受你的例假日 250 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:05,135 ‎-充電、振奮精神 ‎-不然妳以為我在幹嘛? 251 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:10,015 ‎我的勤勞門生泰貝莎與我 ‎在進行一場以物易物比賽 252 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,310 ‎所以才讓我出現在這裡,舒壓阿歪 253 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:18,315 ‎我不敢相信你們沒想到這個 ‎這讓寶寶笑好幾個小時 254 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,317 ‎這可是阿歪的保證 255 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,320 ‎-他毛茸茸的毛 ‎-他的笨腳 256 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,030 ‎他的瘋狂眼球 257 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,283 ‎是的,這也許有幫助 258 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,327 ‎如果薩米爾下一站不是寶寶瑜珈課 259 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,663 ‎更好,我們趁機塞給他… 260 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:37,334 ‎-那裡不准有玩具 ‎-我們得要在沒有道具下弄到笑聲 261 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,379 ‎不,不是我們,是我們,你離開 262 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:44,466 ‎-別再腦力激盪了 ‎-然後這是瑜珈課 263 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,802 ‎不,停,泰德 264 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,221 ‎提姆,喔,提姆 265 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,223 ‎我那位讓我住在他家 266 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,602 ‎又讓我萬分感激的哥哥在哪裡? 267 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,397 ‎我聽說你們兩個正在 ‎比賽以物易物,厲害 268 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,359 ‎喔,嗨,我事實上是來談交易的 269 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,945 ‎提姆,你記得那台老錄音機…? 270 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,739 ‎你是說我的屁聲選輯? 271 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,492 ‎精心策劃多年收集的屁聲選輯? 272 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,955 ‎從高音尖聲屁到獨家的媽開車屁? 273 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,417 ‎媽咪才不會放屁 274 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,421 ‎等一下,那東西你還留著嗎? 275 00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,674 ‎通常是,但泰貝莎 ‎已經跟我提出交易了 276 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,884 ‎我不敢相信 277 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:31,180 ‎你也跟上午廣播時段DJ ‎墨西哥鬆捲餅文尼達成交易? 278 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,264 ‎誰? 279 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,975 ‎文尼的廣播節目靠屁音存活下來 280 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,020 ‎任何好的交易人 ‎都知道文尼蒐集獨輪車 281 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,523 ‎這打開了人行道交通工具的範疇 282 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,775 ‎很厲害的一招 283 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,444 ‎-謝謝 ‎-但拿到屁聲選輯的人是我 284 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:52,701 ‎從1999年賀新年 ‎瑪莎柯林克在現場直播放屁? 285 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,537 ‎-她假裝在騎德國獵犬… ‎-好了 286 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,041 ‎看來你要做決定了 ‎這是以物易物對決 287 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,002 ‎我可以當裁判?權力好大 288 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,172 ‎我希望這不會讓我腐敗 ‎不,不會,我很強悍 289 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,762 ‎寫作,跟紙一樣的古老藝術 290 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,889 ‎作家的頭腦就像是藏寶圖 291 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:18,227 ‎充滿隱藏的珠寶 ‎但也有很多錯誤的轉角與陷阱 292 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,145 ‎是的,這倒是 293 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,232 ‎讓我介紹舒壓阿歪 294 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,861 ‎玩具,是的,為寶寶而設計 ‎但也證明對寫作瓶頸有療效 295 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,905 ‎聽說法蘭西斯費茲傑羅有一個 296 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,659 ‎這樣說好了《大亨小傳》 ‎本來是《普普亨小傳》 297 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,745 ‎在老法蘭西斯費茲傑羅 ‎把這放一個在他書桌前時 298 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:43,836 ‎抱歉,真的…他的毛,我無法… ‎感謝你的考慮 299 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,509 ‎這信封裡是一張優惠券 300 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,345 ‎抱歉,優惠券? 301 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,016 ‎本地傳奇的歌王 ‎卡爾帕喬的私人小夜曲 302 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:58,976 ‎泰貝莎贏了 303 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:04,356 ‎太好了,滑板車世界的火箭 ‎倒數三、二… 304 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:10,571 ‎我會穿我歌王卡爾帕喬領巾 ‎還是穿紀念品太俗氣? 305 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,364 ‎卡蘿,我需要妳 306 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,367 ‎非常厲害的交易,但是 ‎妳得給把屁聲選輯給我 307 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,580 ‎你逼我承諾不能對你手軟 ‎阿文,誰是我最愛的DJ? 308 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,750 ‎不,是你,在車站見面交易?怎樣? 309 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,294 ‎免費附贈課程 ‎一定要在公開場合交易 310 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:29,048 ‎不能有地主隊主場優勢 ‎要求他在小鎮廣場見妳 311 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,760 ‎事實上,我們約在小鎮廣場? ‎酷,五分鐘後見 312 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:37,014 ‎-多謝爸比的怪東西 ‎-我真的不會親它 313 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,144 ‎-也許文尼從這邊來? ‎-當然,也許 314 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,773 ‎好的,寶貝,我們輕鬆姿勢坐著 315 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:52,780 ‎我們想想當沒東西想的時候 ‎我們在想什麼 316 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:57,201 ‎我知道這樣問很不禮貌 ‎但那寶寶的表情怎麼了? 317 00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:01,163 ‎不斷地在可愛與一堆垃圾間轉換 318 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,581 ‎我提議交換 319 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:06,001 ‎給我一分鐘屁聲選輯,交換阿歪 320 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,462 ‎妳還是可以跟文尼交易並且得到阿歪 321 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,922 ‎完全擁有,不用退還 322 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,884 ‎你說會認真看待這場比賽 ‎這是場糟糕的交易 323 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:17,721 ‎我偉大計劃的一部分是要打敗妳 ‎當然不能說細節但非常真實 324 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,517 ‎-拜託,選輯 ‎-好,一分鐘後見 325 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:27,981 ‎-這真的嚐得出味道 ‎-做前彎式給我看 326 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,612 ‎-好可愛 ‎-是不是?你看 327 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:40,202 ‎薩米爾,別對低俗喜劇笑 ‎放屁跟眨眼一樣自然 328 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,253 ‎我可以聞到寶寶愛在飆升了 329 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,423 ‎-好臭 ‎-不,那是小痞的“恐龍” 330 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,716 ‎牠在長牙了 331 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,595 ‎別告訴他那只是顆陳年蛋 ‎他一直很開心 332 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:03,016 ‎嗨,你們很開心 ‎我並沒有真的放假吧? 333 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:09,273 ‎那笑聲會持續好幾個小時 ‎安東尼奧沒招可以玩了,什麼? 334 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,900 ‎你真是天生的寶寶王 335 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,986 ‎真是不好意思 336 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,947 ‎我不確定我是有天賦,還是這是 337 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:20,409 ‎我臨時保母合作社裡上的 ‎兒童發展課的成效 338 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,245 ‎還有更多跟你一樣的保母? 339 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,998 ‎喔,我們有很多人 340 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,416 ‎(安東尼奧) 341 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:31,545 ‎他有很多招可以玩了 342 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:35,382 ‎大概是第七重計畫 ‎我們明白我們不能讓薩米爾太開心 343 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,633 ‎要不就會發生這事 344 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:41,013 ‎公平地說,這不是我的錯 ‎我不在場無法獲得資訊 345 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,850 ‎絕對是你的錯,你以為 ‎例假日是因為我們偷懶才存在? 346 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,435 ‎我非常清楚地認為如此 347 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:51,398 ‎我們需要清楚的腦袋讓我們保持機靈 ‎才不會搞砸任務 348 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,150 ‎就像我剛才那樣 349 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,569 ‎-我本來不打算這麼說… ‎-是的 350 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,448 ‎-我們會設法防制災害,你就… ‎-冷靜放鬆 351 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:03,035 ‎-卡通太陽說什麼 ‎-一分鐘到了 352 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,870 ‎-拿來 ‎-好 353 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,582 ‎但先警告 ‎這場比賽我現在可是全神貫注 354 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:12,002 ‎妳以為輸了阿歪與 ‎屁聲機器就嚇倒我? 355 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:15,088 ‎我在芝加哥創立一整個公司 ‎只花了短短… 356 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,428 ‎非常感謝妳 357 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:26,225 ‎-塔莎根本不要阿歪 ‎-我只是聽從你的講課 358 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,978 ‎我找到需要,以及 ‎有我最需要的對象 359 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,649 ‎我測試助聽器的時候 ‎偷聽到你跟JJ的對話 360 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,319 ‎出了狀況,你知道笑臉薩米爾? 361 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,112 ‎當你提出比賽時 362 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,741 ‎我內心的交易高手醒了,多謝了 363 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,619 ‎我已經發現需要 ‎你想繼續工作的需要 364 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:50,082 ‎你禁不住要插手任務 ‎於是我就密切注意你 365 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,501 ‎我看著你跟塔莎交易舒壓阿歪 366 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,170 ‎但你沒看見你走之後的結果 367 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,508 ‎親愛的,妳搞丟了妳的阿歪嗎? 368 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,553 ‎-當蒂娜告訴我下一站是… ‎-不准有玩具的瑜珈課 369 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,888 ‎我得進入你的思考 370 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,307 ‎你會如何在沒有玩具下讓寶寶笑? 371 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,309 ‎這問題只有一個答案 372 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,396 ‎泰貝莎贏了 373 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:16,358 ‎於是就只剩下把爸的卡爾帕喬狂熱 374 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:20,112 ‎以及用一個不存在的交易 ‎激發出你的不顧一切 375 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:24,074 ‎你逼我承諾不對你手軟 ‎阿文,誰是我最愛的DJ? 376 00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:28,328 ‎妳想過鯨魚怎麼會這麼大? 377 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:33,125 ‎你給我我需要的阿歪 ‎然後砰乓一溜煙,勝利的泰貝莎 378 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:39,381 ‎我應該鼓掌,但我的手 ‎在刺痛,因為我太驕傲了 379 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,216 ‎我可是從頂尖高手身上學的 380 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,012 ‎我只希望你對我出更難的挑戰 ‎這老實說太簡單了 381 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,514 ‎話很刺耳,像個冠軍一樣 382 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,268 ‎拉那個,或是那個,或是… 383 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,562 ‎妳知道這是一個人的工作 384 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,814 ‎-我知道 ‎-我要跟依薇出去騎車溜躂 385 00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:59,901 ‎-你需要我回來後幫你嗎? ‎-謝了,妳慢慢去玩 386 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,905 ‎我喜歡我的失敗讓我錐心刺骨 ‎好讓我記住我絕不再失敗 387 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,491 ‎我應該很快,依薇得去當保母 388 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:11,830 ‎-依薇當保母? ‎-她跟學校的孩子一起做生意 389 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,082 ‎這就是她買滑板車的方式,真幸運 390 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:19,171 ‎她還有名片,你們會很驕傲 ‎再見,寶寶們,愛你們兩個 391 00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,423 ‎(依薇) 392 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,052 ‎滑溜快來輪上街了 393 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:28,680 ‎小心,城市,你沒辦法阻擋我們 394 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,518 ‎泰貝莎與敵人一起騎車 395 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,940 ‎太好了,舉世稀有寶寶大響屁 396 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,277 ‎屁聲選輯:第二響,全新推出 397 00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:13,308 ‎字幕翻譯: 王問僧